Mortuary (1983) Script


I'll wait here.

All right, you turkey.

Come on!

So, what if your boss shows up?

Screw him, he's not my boss anymore.

Hey Man, it's not worth trespassing.

Let's get outta here.

Who cares?

It's all junk anyway.

Besides, he hardly ever comes here.

Are you sure?

Sure, sure I'm sure, would you come on?


Ah, you look at 'em?

I combed a lot of corpses' heads for these mothers, eh?

Woo, yeah, look at that one.

Hey, I thought you said your boss doesn't come here.

Who knows?

Maybe he gets laid here.

Yeah, who'd wanna get laid here?

You'd be surprised.



Quit playin' around, grab some for your van, Man.

Forget it, Man, that's stealing.

Is that all you're taking?

Yeah, they're all as bald as Kojak's head.

Yeah, wait till Mr. Andrews finds out.

How's he gonna find out?

Besides, that asshole owes me money, 150 bucks.

Ah, shit, they're probably all locked.

Let's try the door.

All right.


Look at this place.

What's goin' on in here?

I don't know, Man, somebody must use this place.

Wow, look at all this stuff.


Woo, ooh, ooh.

What do you think?

Ah, it's fantastic.

Think Christie'll like it?

Ah, she'll love it.

Hey, what's all this embalming stuff doing here?

Hey, check out this troll cart.

En garde.


Look at this.

Hey, why don't we quite clowning around?

Why don't you put that down and let's get the tires?

Should take this stuff home with me.

Is that real?


What the hell is that?

Low beam.

Hey, hey, what's he doing here?


My boss.

Mr. Andrews?

Yeah. Let me look.

What's he doing with those women?

Hey, that looks like Christie's mom.

Ah, I told you, I told you she was witching in the kelp, didn't I?

I can't believe it, that's Christie's mother, all right.


What are they doing now?

Getting ready for a seance.

A seance?


They're communicating with the souls of the dead and other stuff.

How do you know?

Well, I saw them do this before at the mortuary.

I wasn't supposed to be there.

He caught me watching them.

Then next thing you knew, I was... I was fired.

I'm going to get the tires.

I'll stay here and watch.

My tires, what happened to my tires?

What are they doing?

Let's go Guys, come on.

Watch out here, here we go, woo.

Oh, God, you're getting heavy, you know that?

Whoa, whoa, where you goin'?

God, heh.


Miss Andrews.

Miss Andrews!

Hey, Josh!

Open up, come on!

Hey, Greg.


Hey, Greg!




Hey, come on, Man.


Hey, Josh, come on, quit fooling around.




Come on, Josh.


Hey, Josh!

That son of a bitch.

Why would Josh do such a thing?

I can't figure it out.

It's weird.

It gets even weirder.

What do you mean?

I saw Hank Andrews there with some women, and they were having a seance.

A seance?

Well, who were the women?

Oh, nobody I know.

Oh. Josh saw them at the mortuary doing the same thing, and that's why he got fired.

Well, you don't think that Josh taking off like that had anything to do with the seance, do you?

Why would it?

I don't know.

Where do you wanna go?


Let's go to the roller ring, maybe he's there.

♪ Be my love ♪

♪ Be my love ♪

♪ Be my love ♪

♪ Your touch, need you so much ♪

♪ Criminal way that I feel ♪

♪ I may look all right till I'm out of your sight ♪

♪ Crying for love I can't steal ♪

♪ Ask you stay, but you get away ♪

♪ There's no getting next to you ♪

♪ Please don't ignore ♪ Hey, he's here.

♪ I love you more ♪

♪ What a shame that you can't ♪

♪ Be my love ♪

♪ Won't you be my love ♪

♪ Could you be my love ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

It's locked.

♪ When she loves you too ♪

♪ Oh, what a terrible shame ♪

♪ I may look all right till I turn out the light ♪

♪ Helplessly calling your name ♪

♪ Ask you to stay, but you get away ♪

♪ There's no getting next to you ♪

♪ Please don't ignore ♪

♪ I love you more ♪

♪ What a shame that you can't ♪

♪ Be my love ♪ Hi, Greg.

Have you guys seen Josh?

No, he hasn't shown up yet.

Well, he drove my van here and he's got the keys.

Then he must be here somewhere.

Yeah, well, we've been here a while.

If he was here, I'd have seen him.

Wait a minute, I thought you were with Josh.

Well, I was.

Well, what happened?

You know, you look like shit.

It's a long story.

You guys gonna stick around or what?

Aw, no, I think I gotta work on my Psych paper.

Yeah, in the back seat.

Tell Josh to call me when he shows up.

Yeah. Okay.

All right. See ya later.

Hey Greg!


-Why don't you check the ladies' head?

♪ Please don't ignore ♪

♪ I love you more ♪

♪ What a shame that you can't ♪

♪ Be my love ♪

♪ Be my love ♪

♪ Be my love ♪

♪ Be my love ♪ He's gone.

Now, where did he go?

♪ Oh oh ♪

Thanks for the ride.

I'd prefer a kiss.

Sorry we didn't find your van.

It'll show up.

Greg, Greg, is that you?

Where the hell have you been?

Hey, Christie.

Hi, Paul.


I just got a new Mozart.

Why don't you come over to my place and let me play it for you?

Oh, I'm sorry, Paul, I'm busy.

Well, maybe some other time.



How you been?

Fine, how 'bout you?

Hey, Paul.

How you doin'?

Hey, Greg.


Bye, Paul.

How you doin', Paul?

Got yourself a new..

Yeah, check this out.


It's a punk group, I think.

What the hell's a Mozart?

Gotta go, see ya later.

You wanna drop me off at the sheriff's station?

He's got my van.

What's he doing with it?

He said he found it at the bus station.

Where's Josh?

Nobody knows.

You think he left town?

I don't know, it doesn't make any sense.

Call me when you're done, all right?



Christie, what's wrong?

Somebody was following me.


I don't know.

Someone in a black station wagon.

Well, did you see his face?

No, but he was following me.

Are you sure?

Of course, I'm sure, you think I'm crazy?

Christie, you have been highly imaginative since your father's accident.

It was not an accident.

Christie, I don't wanna go through this with you again.

The sheriff investigated.

He found no proof, no proof whatsoever that your father's death was anything but an accident.

My father was murdered in that pool, I know it!

How do you know it?

Because you dreamed it?

You don't care that Daddy's dead, do you?

You're probably glad he's dead because of all.

I loved your father as much as you do, Christie.

So, that's why you're dating less than a month after he died?

That's not true.


You'll be late for your date.

I was not stealing!

What the hell do you think you were doing?

Sheriff, I told you all I know.

Mr. Andrews fired Josh.

He didn't pay him the money he owed him for working at the mortuary washing dead bodies.

So, Josh was taking the tires, and I was giving him a ride.

You were trespassing and stealing.

Greg, you were the last person to see Josh.

Now, this isn't the first time he's pulled something like this.

I wanna know where he is.

I don't know!

His parents are frantic, they're beside themselves, and I'm in no mood for bullshit.

So, you better tell me all you know or you're gonna be in even bigger trouble.

Sheriff, I'm as worried about Josh as anyone.

Well, just how did you think your van ended up in the Greyhound bus station?

It's beyond me.

Hmm, maybe Josh was going somewhere.

He didn't tell me that.

Sheriff, I told you all I know!

Mm-hmm, that Josh left you stranded at the warehouse, took off in your van, and you saw your van at the roller rink, but Josh just vanished in it, right?

But before that, you and Josh saw Mr. Andrews here holding a seance with a group of women, right?


Did you recognize any of the women?

No, it was too dark to see their faces.

And yet you saw Mr. Andrews' face.


Sheriff, I don't know what the hell the kid's talkin' about.

Musta been on dope or something.

I wasn't at my warehouse last night, and I've never had a seance with a bunch of women.

I saw you.

All right, you can go for now.

Your van's out back.

Now, I'm putting out an APB for Josh.

If you and Josh are pulling another one of your damn stunts on me, I'm gonna have both of your asses.

Now, you get your butt outta here.

Boy Sheriff, that kid is some kind of liar.

You're right about that.













Christie, oh God, Christie.

Honey, are you all right?

He tried to kill me!

Honey, Honey, you're dreaming, having a bad dream.

No, there was someone out there, I saw him.

Saw who?

Somebody in a black cape tried to stab me!

Oh, Honey, Honey, you're sleepwalking and dreaming, having a nightmare..

No, it was real!

Christie, Christie, look, look, there's no one out there, Honey.

Oh, baby, why would anyone try to kill you?

Because they killed Daddy, now they're trying to kill me!

Christie, you are mixing your dreams and reality.

I was awake when he tried to stab me.

Okay, Baby, all right, look.

Let's try and get some sleep, come on.

Let's go upstairs and try to get some sleep now, Baby.

All right?

Look, you've got to let me take you to see that psychiatrist.


You're trying to make me think I'm crazy, so you can get rid of me!

Christie, no one wants to harm you!

You're in it with him!

Christie, do you remember when I told you I saw Hank Andrews holding a seance with some women, I didn't recognize any of 'em?


Only I did, one of 'em.


Your mother.

My mother?

I didn't wanna say anything before because I didn't wanna cause any problems.

She was wearing a black cape just like what you think you saw last night.

They all were.

So, you think that Hank Andrews and my mother are doing this to me?

I don't know.

Well, maybe they got rid of my father.

Now, they're trying to make me think I'm crazy.

There's only one way to find out.

Hi, Christie, hi, Greg.

Hey Man, you scared the shit out of us.

Oh, I didn't mean to.

I brought these for my mother's grave.

Do you like them?


Thank you.


He's got a crush on you.

Are you jealous?

Of him?

I don't know, I feel kinda sorry for him.

He's gotten a little weird since his mother committed suicide.

I'd be weird too if I had Hank Andrews for my father.

And on top of that, locking me up in a mortuary when I was a kid with dead bodies.

No kidding.

What's your excuse for being weird?

Being around you.

Come on, I gotta go.

Don't go away.

I won't.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Hon.

Everything ready to go?

I'm in a hurry.

You're always in a hurry, and you're always late.

Oh, I want you to deliver this to the mortuary first thing before you make any other deliveries.

Mr. Andrews just called.

And he's mad as hell.

I can't believe it.

By George, you better believe it.

Mr. Andrews happens to be our very best customer, and because of you, we just may lose his business.

He's calling me a liar when he's the liar.

It makes me mad.

Ooh, it makes you mad, huh?

It makes him mad, Mother.

Well, not as mad as you're making me.

All right, Greg just take it easy, and please don't cause any more trouble with Mr. Andrews.

Do you think you can deliver that wreath to Mr. Andrews without saying anything?

I won't even look at him.


I could run things much smoother if people died between nine and five.

You don't like to think about it, but it's something everybody needs.

Why don't you decide now?

Now, look at this casket here.

I can give you a good price on it.

Excuse me.

Just put it over there.

Excuse me please.

Honey, I don't think you're going to be comfortable in this one.

If you don't stop lying to the sheriff about me, or I catch you in that warehouse again,

you're gonna end up in one of these caskets.

Have you decided yet?

Or would you rather be cremated instead of buried?

Greg, shh.

What do you want?

Come here, shh, go on.

I didn't want my father to see you in here.

What do you want me to do?

Talk to me.

It's a shame pretty girl like her had to die so young.

Listen Paul, I've gotta go.

I've got more deliveries to make.

Well, I thought you might like to know.

To know what?

The sheriff was here askin' all kinds of questions about you.

What did he say?

Have you heard from Josh?

No, why?

Hmm, when he was working here, he used to tell me he was gonna run away and join the Navy.

That sounds like Josh.

He never told me that.

I just hope nothing's happened to him, you know?

Yeah, I know.

I'll tell ya a secret, Greg.

I hate bein' an embalmer.

Nobody wants to date me.

They all think I'm weird.

Then why do you do it?

My father wants me to.

What the hell's goin' on in here?

No one's allowed in here, you know that.

Aren't you finished yet?

Step aside, we haven't got all day.

You haven't even aspirated her yet.

What are you waiting for?

Get outta here before I embalm you!

That's strange.

My mom always leaves the lights on when she goes out.

Yeah, maybe it's the wind.

Okay, how are we gonna study in the dark?

I don't know, maybe we should go back to the library.

Come on, let's stay here so we can be alone.


Greg, would you stop it.

I'm spooked enough already.


Never fear, Count Dracula is here.

Back down, Dracula.

You're crazy.

Ooh, God, you're so delicious.

Would you stop it?

Makes me wild with sex.

Oh, does it?

My God, would you stop it?

My mom might come home.

Get out of here!

Let her, we haven't done anything wrong, yet.

Oh no.

All right, Count Dracula.

Why don't you build us a fire, and I'm gonna go get us something to eat.



Hey, listen to what I found for your Psychology paper.

Sleepwalkers, contrary to popular opinion, may actually harm themselves.

They've been known to fall down stairs and step in front of moving cars.

Such accidents do not often occur since their eyes are open and they usually respond to warnings.

I never used to sleepwalk before my father was murdered.

Shit, we turned into a couple of scaredy cats.

The boogie man'll get you if you don't watch out!

Come on, Mr. Boogie Man, let's boogie.

Is this house haunted?

This never happened before.

Maybe I better call the electric company.

You wanna show me where the fuse box is?

Let me call first.

It's dead.

What do you mean?

What the hell is going on here?

You scared us, we thought someone was trying to break in.

The lights have been going on and off all night.

We tried to call the electric company..

But you could've killed me.


That was happening the other night when you were out with Greg.

I called the electric company, and they supposedly fixed it.

I guess we need a new fuse box, that's all.

Well, the phone's out of order too.

I know, I tried to call you.

I reported it, and they said something about all the lines being down, so.

Something weird's going on here.

Do you suppose it could be your over active imagination again?

You see?

See how she's trying to make me think I'm crazy?

Are you sure this is where they said they're gonna meet.

She was talking low on the phone, but I think so.

Hey, that's it.

What's he doing with her?

I wish I could hear what they're saying.

That's the car that was following me.

It's a mortuary car.

Maybe they're going to the warehouse.

They're not here.

Had a big head start.

I know they'd be here by now if this is where they're meeting.

Come on, let's go.

No, I wanna see what's in there.

There's nothing in there but a bunch of junk from the mortuary.

I wanna find out what's goin' on.

Christie, wait!

Christie, wait, come on, don't be stubborn!

They might be at the mortuary.

Josh says they sometimes meet there.

I wanna see what's up here.

Let's get the hell outta here.

They're here.

Are you present?


Sue Parson wants to communicate with you.

I can't hear what they're saying.

Let's go downstairs.

Speak to me. Follow me.

Are you present?

Your wife, Eve Sue Parson

wants to communicate with you.

Speak to me.

Speak to me.

I love him, Christie loves him.

Please ask him to leave Christie alone.

Your wife asks that you leave Christie alone.

Are you present?

Things are troubling your wife and your daughter.

You died in an accident in a swimming pool.

It wasn't an accident?

Someone caused your death?

George, George?

Come back!


Let's go.

Please come back.

Come on, before they break up.

Speak to me.


Please, come back.

My poor mother, I gave her such a hard time.



Are you sure you never seen any of those women before?

I'm positive.

But they were wearing the same kind of cape as whoever was it that tried to stab me that night, the night I thought I was dreaming.

Then you think it could've been one of those women?

Why would they?

Somebody's after me.

I think whoever it is killed my father.

Look, I'm kinda tired and uptight, so maybe you better go.

Whoa, I'm not leaving you alone with that maniac on the loose.

I'll wait till your mom comes home.

No, come on, don't be silly, I'll lock the door.

Come on, come on, Greg.

Go home, come on.

Mm-mm. I'm serious.

Go home and get some sleep.


Would you cut it out.

Now, what do you think you're doing?

What does it look like?

Um, building a fire.

You're so smart.

And you're a smart ass.

Come on, we need something to keep us warm.

Oh yeah?

I'm not cold.

You're not?

Well, I'm glad.

'Cause I'm real warm, and I wanna do something we haven't done for a long time.

What's that?

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

I haven't said yes yet.

Oh, say yes.

Oh, yes.


I can't.

All right, Christie, have it your own way.

Please, Greg, don't be mad at me.

I'm not mad, why should I be mad?

You know we haven't made love since your father died and you started having those weird dreams.

I'm scared, try and understand.

Christie, you know I care.

It just doesn't do you any good to be spooked up like this.


Maybe we shouldn't see each other for a while, till I get my head together.

Oh, Greg, you're still here.

Yeah, I didn't wanna leave Christie alone.

Oh, well, where is she?

She went to bed, she wasn't feeling well.

Oh, well, did you two have a nice time?

Oh, yes, and you, Mrs. Parson?

Interesting, very interesting, Greg.

Thank you for staying.

I always feel so confident when you're with Christie.

Well, I won't be seeing her for a while.


We had a fight.


Well, you know she's been very emotional and headstrong lately.

I know.

You'll work it out, I know you will.

Yeah, we'll see.

Goodbye. Bye-bye.







Open the window.

Open the window.

No, no.

I don't want to harm you.

I just want to touch you.

Please, open the window.

The window.

Christie, you're beautiful, open the window.

Christie, no.

Mother, Mother!




Give me the knife, Honey, give me the knife.

Give me the knife.

Come on.

Come on, Honey, give me the knife.

Come on.

Come on.

Okay, all right, Baby, it's okay. He was, no!

He was in here.

Who, Honey?

The same man who tried to kill me the other night.

He had a black cape on, he tried to kill me.

Well, whoever it was, Honey, he's gone now.

I tried to, I tried to stab him, but I woke up, and he...

Oh, Baby, it's all right.

It's all right, come on, let's take care of your hand.

Come on, Sweetheart, come on.


Honey, did you see his face?

He, he had white, it was white, but I saw his eyes, and they look familiar to me.

Are you sure it wasn't just part of your nightmare?

Yes, I saw him!

Oh Christie, could it have been Paul Andrews?

Why would Paul wanna kill me?

Honey, Paul is psychotic.

We didn't think he was dangerous.

He was your father's patient.

He got much worse after his mother committed suicide.

For one thing, he became obsessed with you and asked your father to marry you.

Marry me?

Well, when he turned him down, Paul got very hostile.

Anyway, your father thought maybe a psychiatric hospital was the best thing for him.

Well, he talked to Hank and Hank refused.

He said he could take better care of Paul than an institution could.

So, you think that Paul could've had something to do with Daddy's death?

Honey, I don't know.

Maybe there is something to your dreams about your father's death not being an accident.

No, it's probably just the wind.

All right? Okay.

Let me go check.

Oh honey, you've got me as jittery as you are.

Hey, how 'bout some brandy?

All right.

Oh Mom, I'm sorry I was so awful to you.

I know you loved Dad.

I just took all my frustrations out on you, and I'm sorry.

Oh Honey, you're my Baby, and I love you.

I love you too.


To what?

To a good night's sleep and peace.


All right, let's get you to bed.


All right, Sweetheart, listen, go to sleep.


I love you.

I love you too.

Sleep tight.



No, no, no!

Paul, please, no!


♪ Come hold me close and dance ♪ Guys, think we oughta go out and skate.

Never comin' again.

Right. Fine by me.

Oh, Greg, go on.

Yeah, come on, move your ass.

Yeah, quit mopin'.

Look, if she's not answering the phone, go home and get your guitar and go stand underneath her window and serenade her.

Nah, nah, I'd wake her up.

Come on.

That wasn't funny.

I'm gonna make you so very happy, you'll see.


I'm going to embalm you.

It won't hurt.

You won't even know it happened.

Now, this is just a sedation.


Didn't hurt, did it?

Slowly, slowly.



You're beautiful, so beautiful.

Doesn't that feel good, huh?


I don't want you frowning.



There's a delicate balance to this.

You've gotta add just the right amount of mixture.

It's like being a good cook.

It will be my best work, I promise, because I love you.

This way, we'll be together forever.

Don't you understand?

No one will ever take you away from me.


Where have you been?

I asked you a question, answer me.

I was here.

All night?


You're lying.

I looked everywhere for you.

Mrs. Parson told me that someone's been following and threatening Christie.

That was you, wasn't it?

I was with the sheriff today.

He asked me all kinds of questions about you, and he brought up Dr. Parson's death again.

And he thinks you had something to do with it.

Now, tell me the truth, or I'm gonna have to turn you in.

Nobody's gonna turn me in, nobody.

I shoulda listened to Dr. Parson.

Had him put you away.

Dr. Parson was against me, he was mean to me.

He wouldn't let me marry Christie.

He wanted to send me back to the institution like he did my mother.

Your mother tried to commit suicide, Son.

She needed psychiatric help.

I had to punish Dr. Parson.

I had to punish his wife too.


She told Christie bad things about me, so I punished her.

Oh my.

I've got to punish Christie too.

They're all against me!

Paul, listen, listen, Paul, Paul.

Now, listen, listen to me.

Nobody's against you.

You're better off if we went to the hospital

and then you turned yourself in.


Nobody's gonna turn me in.

Nobody, nobody, nobody!

You're against me too!



I didn't mean it.

I thought you'd never find me.

Where's Christie?

Christie is gone, she's not yours anymore, she's mine.

Just tell me where Christie is, and I promise, I won't say a word to anyone about anything.

You're lying to me.

I'm not lying Paul.

Where's Christie?

Christie and I are getting married.

We love each other, and you stay out of it.

Let me out of here, you crazy son of a bitch!

Paul, let me out of here, you bastard!

I could've locked you up in the mortuary like you did me when I was bad, bad Paul, but I didn't.

I'm too happy!

I'm not gonna let anything spoil today.

Nobody knows we're such good friends.

You see how wrong you were to keep Christie away from me.

We belong together.

Isn't everything beautiful?

I did it myself.

I planned it for a long time.

I'll make Christie happy.

We'll all be happy, just one big happy family.

Come on, Mother.

I want you to sit in the place of honor.

It's my wedding day.

I'm getting married just like you always wanted.

And look, Christie's wearing your dress.

Now Mother, you've got to forgive the Parson family.

Let's all be friends and have a good time.

I kept my promise.

I didn't let Dr. Parson put you away.

No one knows you're here.

We faked your death.

Josh saw, but he's not going to say anything.

It's our secret.

Now, would you do me the honor and cut the wedding cake while I go and get Christie ready?

Now, you will be mine forever.

Paul, what have you done to her?

If you've harmed her..


You'll wake her up!

She's sleeping.

You killed her.

I was going to come and get you, bring you here to join the party, but I'm glad you came.

I want you to meet some of my guests.

You remember my mother.

And you know the rest of them.

Please, Greg, have a seat.

The bride will be embalmed soon, and then we can start the wedding ceremony.

Stay where you're at or I'll smash your head in.

Stay back or I'll blow your head off!

The sheriff's on his way.

Stop where you're at, Paul, or I'll blow your head off.

Ah, it's blanks, stupid, blanks.

You want to take Christie away from me.

I've got to punish you.

I will embalm you before you die.

Christie, give me the ax.

Give it to me.

He's dead, give me the ax.

Thank god you're all right.

It's okay.

Where am I?

It's all over, let's go.