Mr. Baseball (1992) Script

4 - 4 tie in the bottom of the 9th. 2 on, 2 out, and a 3 and 2 count on Jack Elliot who hit only .235 during the regular season Shawn, this is really a tough spot for Elliot to be in Anytime you come off as hard a year as he had seems like every little strike-out just comes back to haunt you at a moment like this C'mon Jack! Park it!

Strike three!

4th ball for strike 3. That'll even up the count at 3 and 3 Jack! C'mon it's a long season. Let's go!


Get in there and take another hack!

It looks like Elliot's really in a hole now Yeah, you know this is the thing that Elliot really didn't want to fall behind in a count like this Anytime you get that third strike on you gets awfully tough to battle back

Strike four!

Strike four. And that one was a dandy. He is really struggling out there Jack Get in here and hit Now Let's go Stay in there Jack!

You the man Jack, you the man!


Wow. Another forkball for strike five Strike Six! much longer I can watch this. Does the league have a ruling on mercy killing?

Major league baby

Major league hangover coming down

What did we drink, like a gazillion brews?

Big day for ya, huh buddy? First time in the show?

We're watchin' it over with ya You know how you feel like you're nervous. Thinking about how you are gonna do. You'll do alright Thinking every pitch has to be the right one or else it's back down to the banana league and your family would be all ashamed and the pretty senioritas, they'd just be gigglin' at ya and the kids that used to worship you now they just make goat noises and run away You can't be thinking about that Manuel what ya gotta remember now Manuel, look at me, Manuel, look at me Baseball is a game, and games are supposed to be fun

Uh-oh! Somebody call the fire department!

Damn... What is that 500 feet?

Nah, it's 480 tops. Who is he?

That's that rookie first baseman, Davis Over the palm tree

Ah, don't worry about it Jack the guy's got an obvious weakness What's that?


Anybody can pull the ball... batting practice Jack!

Hey! Doc!

Hey Doc! Mornin', good to see ya! I've got a little problem Jack What?

Well... They've pulled your lawnmower commercial. The whole campaign's bye-bye. Image problem Why?

I look good sittin' on that tractor!



Hey don't do that! Now stop that!

Anybody home?

Two weeks ago you were all over the papers getting nailed doing a hundred and twenty...

4 A.M., two broads...

All right, OK Kinda make you waving from your Alfy a freakin' joke Jack Hey Jack!

You came all the way out here to tell me that?

Hey Elliot, how about an autograph?

No. I'm out to see my new client

Jack Jack Jack What Trey?

Skip wants to see you

Have a seat pal

That's OK Now Elliot, you know I think the goddamn of you and you know there is no one in the whole goddamn world I'd rather see out there than the old goddamn number 48 Skip, c'mon. I mean, I know I haven't exactly been raking the ball lately but gimme a couple weeks Jesus Christ Elliot, can I finish a sentence in my own goddamn office?

Hey, OK This Davis kid is the real thing The way it's looking...

Aw, c'mon Is that what this is all about?

I mean he's a goddamn rookie for Christ's sake You gonna be impressed with a 500-foot home run?


So what are you saying?

You gonna play me behind this kid?

We wouldn't do that to you The word's 'come down' Jack See who will pick up his contract Line 'em up, let Jack make his trade I don't believe this I'm a world series MVP That was four years ago Jack You hit .235 last season Last season?

I led this club in 9th inning doubles in the month of August

Screw it man, I don't wanna play where I'm not wanted What are my choices?

I'm ready There aren't exactly choices Jack We only had one taker so we... took We called everyone Jack Canada... No, not Canada! It goes without saying I ain't paying those taxes!

It's not Canada Not Cleveland...

No! Say it's not Cleveland!

Not Cleveland

We got a call from a manager in...


...Japan Japan?

Yes, the uh... chu-chey? chu?

Forget it!

Chunichi No I'm a major leaguer!

There's no way I'm gonna play in Japan!

If you wanna play this season Jack, you're a Chunichi Dragon A what?

A Chunichi Dragon Welcome to Nagoya International Airport

Welcome Jack Elliot I am Yoji Nishimura Arriving refreshed?

Arriving drunk and dead tired Excellent! Places to go, people to meet!

Mr. Nakamura, president of the Chunichi company Hi Mr. Nikawa, vice president Not in back pocket It's a major insult like you are sitting on their identity Mr. Sato, treasurer Sorry Hai You give them business card in return please I don't have a... oh, wait Mr. Yamada, general manager Hai Mr. Takahashi, he's in publicity Hai Here ya go Collect 'em, trade 'em Show 'em to your friends Here you go and no sitting on my face!

My number's 48. Always 48 Carefully computed, now it's 54 What do you mean computed? Number of home runs you are expected to hit

He wants to know what was your main reason for coming to Japan?

Let's just say I had a yen to play here

She wants to know what do you think of our country?

Already? Uh...

The airport's nice... uh... I guess and there's lots of little people walking, talking, very fast

Japan what you expected?

Where's all the temples and rice paddies? That stuff This is city Yeah, it looks like Cleveland, only I can't read the signs

Come in, come in

We're gonna get that fixed aren't we Yoj?


Easy to keep clean, just hose her down once a week It's beautiful apartment for Japan

30 bucks a night, free cable check-out time 11 A.M.

Sorry. You don't like?

Nah, you did good kid.

CNN sports tonight is big league baseball. Our feature story centers around rookie phenom Ricky Davis of the New York Yankees who in his first game went 4 for 5 with 3 home runs and six RBIs all the scores...

Tell me this isn't it This isn't it

You're the boss but is it?


Take your shoes off man!

They get upset if you don't take off your shoes Yeah Sorry It'd be a shame to track any carpet on the mildew

This way please Hey, Max Dubois. Around here they call me Hammer. Don't ask me why Jack Elliot Yeah, I know who you are man I've been in Japan, not dead.

hanging Toshi, hanging


Hey, fine bunch of big swinging dicks we've got here Well, they'll warm up after a season or two Well, I don't plan to be here that long That's what I said going on five years ago Want some ocha?


It's Japanese tea Now let me get this straight you're an American right?

Over here, I'm gaijin, same as you gaijin?

It's like being a black guy back home only there's less of us gotcha

What the hell is that? it's your first beat baby

I'll see ya out there

Elliot-san this is Uchiyama-san your manager.

Welcome to Dragons

Sorry Where ya hittin' me boss?

That will be decided after determining your skill in Japanese baseball

Well, it's got a stick and a ball and a fence right?

It has many elements, all of which must work in harmony

Also must work on physical condition

Also must shave moustache Tell him, this is the way he hired me at and if my moustache gets in the way of my swing...

I'll shave it

Our manager Uchiyama-san was Rookie of the Year in 1959 MVP in '61, '62 and '63 and '69 Holds the record for most consecutive home run games in the history of the sport

7 in '71 He is very proud of that We're all proud of that He's the most revered manager in all of Japan Yes, but he needs Captain Jack to bring home the pennant Yoj-ster let us not forget that

thank you, thank you!

Thank you Any of you guys speak Americano?

Jack Elliot here, bringing you the best in major league thrills for the fellas and free moustache rides for the ladies I have seen free moustache rides offered on T-Shirts in America Always by guys you would not want to ride with

Sorry Are you free tonight for dinner?

Did I miss something here?

What's the catch?

No catch. We have business to discuss Where and when?

I'll pick you up at your apartment. 9 o'clock Uh, my apartment What, you know where I live?


What is this?

Practice For what? Russian dance contests?

Hey hey! No slack dude!

Easy boys, easy!

Uchiyama-san wants to know why you are not working with the team Oh, well you tell him I got a bad wheel

Perhaps your wheel get stronger with work You tell the chief that I've got my own exercises

He said Dragons must all work together for harmony

and if you cannot do team exercises Our team will do yours Hai

Hats off!

OK, ready?

Face, stretch!


Exercise Aw, man I don't believe this Turn around

OK, face front Right foot, in Right foot, out Right foot, in Shake it all about Do the hokey pokey! Turn yourself around That's what it's all about

This is crazy Max.

We're not athletes, we're baseball players batting practice finally

All yours babe Yo

I could piss over that fence Yeah, well don't Don't spit on the field either it's considered sacred At least they got that right

Perhaps weight more on the front foot and more top hand, he says Thanks a lot

You have a hole in your swing, he says Ball can't seem to find it

What's going on here Max?

Probably wants to see if you are as good with your bat as you are with your mouth


What the hell was that?

What the hell is a 'shuuto'?

Great equalizer

(Note: shuuto = similar to a reverse slider)

Great fine...


Let's go

Can't do that here slugger He showed me up You don't know the difference Max. You've been here too long.

Shoes dude Look man, I have to deal with it, you gotta deal with it

What the hell is that?

Rita-san. Visage of death

You should put equipment away then sit down please Sorry Jack-san I don't believe this What's next?

Come here to tell me how to take a crap?

Hey Max!


Need someone to tell me how to take a crap.

Aw man...


First you wash, then you bathe

I hate this place

Hammer! What's up? How are you doing man?

It's all right. Everybody here he is, Jack Elliot Well, welcome to the little league Meat Hey Rye. How are you doing? You still spiking guys with a pick on?

Don't worry none about that Meat. We're all on the same team here right boys?

That's right Absolutely Allen Evan Welcome aboard, good to see ya man Lyle Massi Nice to meet you Jackson Billy Stevens Jack, used to be with the Orioles. Sure Billy. How's it going?

Well, once you get used to sleeping in shoe boxes and chasing your food around the table it's uh, pretty much a nightmare over here huh?

Uh-huh true story Hey, check it out guys. Check it out!

Our favorite video! Hey, hey Japanese rocket scientists at work!

On behalf of The Animal, Hammer, Fly-by, Supersonic and the Hit-man Welcome to Japan Mr. BESUBORU Mr. What?

Mr. Baseball! Right here baby Hey, That's right!

Read it to them Rye Yeah

When asked his impression of his new manager, Elliot replied, "I have much to learn from Uchiyama-san..."

"...and I'll gladly strive to shed all my old disgusting ways of laziness and become my best under his guidance"

Very harmonious of you Meat Yoji Yoji would be your assigned interpreter? Am I right?

That's right Well, let us tell you a few things about your new neighbors over here Jack First you got your gaijin strike zone. Roughly the size of a Buick and I hope you didn't bring your dick with you

You rang, Mr. Baseball?

I rang, Mr. Wise-Ass!

What? What? What What?

I don't understand Understand this

Please, you see, all wisecrack making, make you seem disrespectful I just do this for you to save face. Besides, press writes their own story anyway.

I'll deal with the press and I'll take care of my own face. You just translate what comes out of it. You got me?



"Hai" as in 'Yes'? or "Hai" as in, "I understand but I'm not gonna do a goddamn thing about it" ?

That's right Yoj. Gaijin catching on!

Hai!... Yes.

Be right down!

You know her?

Hai. Yes.

What are my chances?

Many torrents. Speak English Yoji.

Difficulties surround her Well that's the story of my life. Why should Japan be any different?

What kind of business did you think I meant Mr. Elliot?

Well I wasn't sure Funny business?

Monkey business?

Hey I'm new here huh. Give me a break will ya?

No, please, tell me You thought I was trying to get through your pants?

in my pants?

'in your pants'. Hai Well, where I come from If a pretty girl smiles at you from the stands and offers to buy you dinner usually... that means... that you know she's...

Ready for party action?


I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. I hope you are not disappointed.


No. Not a bit Not a bit? Mr. Elliot?

Well maybe a little bit Call me Jack OK. Jack


No, Hiroko Hi-ro-ko Oh, in Japan, never pour your own drink

I hope you don't mind. I took the liberty of ordering for both of us Delicious Japanese dish Oh, OK but uh, listen no offense. I don't eat bait. bait?

Yeah you know uh, what do you guys call it? You know raw fish, stuff like that I...don't...


Sorry! Little joke French restaurant.

Japanese beef--the best you'll ever eat.

I betcha never been to Kansas City?

No... just New York I studied at Parsons School of Design Someday, I hope to return there with my work This is good!

Kobe beef. Fed with beer, massaged by hand.

Oh, I should have signed up to be a cow here instead of a ball player.

This is really good. This is better than Kansas City and you know something, I gotta admit I didn't want to eat Japanese.

This is very Japanese

Japan takes the best from all over the world and makes it her own

You have done commercials before, haven't you?

Yes, of course I have Doing commercials in Japan is no different Except I got no choice?! You gotta be kidding...

I am afraid not. Read your contract

The Dragons can license me out for endorsements and I got no say in it?

You are property of the team. I'm a player on the team. Big difference.

It's in your contract. Believe me.

Don't worry. I'll see to it that you appear in a dignified and normal way.

That's not the point.

Dragons hire you for your skill. But also for image of team Yea, well I'm a baseball player not a goddamn mascot.

Don't look at it that way What? Japan takes the best from all over the world and makes it her own? Well not this one honey Jack please. Hey what's a couple of cocktails cost around here? About 50 billion of these things? That oughta cover it.

Don't go Sorry Business concluded

Where do I live?

Welcome to pre-game warm up. Let's go!


Looking good Max! Get down!

Shake that thing white boy!


Actual baseball is actually occurring.

Jack, you're on.

Same to you

Ouu, major leaguer!

You got that right

You big, you can hit c'mon!


What the hell's he doing? Coulda given us the lead!

Well better get used to it. Why would he wanna risk it? Lose face.

With a puss like his, what's he afraid of?

Yeah, by the way, we're doing a pick-off move Now!



Got any naked pictures of your wife?

Wanna see some?

Never mind

Outta there!

Toshi! Yeah?

Hey what the hell you doing? You gotta get dirty. You gotta break that thing up.

Easy, easy Jack, easy!

It's not his fault.

It's disrespectful to take a guy out with a slide That's horseshit man Sorry kid, we'll get 'em next inning.

Uh, there ain't gonna be a next inning What are you talking about? It's 4 - 4 No game can continue after 15 innings So when do we make it up?

I'm sorry babe, it's over it's 4 - 4 ball game can't end in a goddamn tie!

C'mon man it's over let's go

What are we doing here Max?

I know what I'm doing here. What are you doing here?!

I just keep thinking someone's gonna see what I'm doing over here and give me a shot in the bigs.

Please don't be fooled by your good game. You still have a hole in your swing.

Please don't be fooled by thinking this is baseball!

Don't play to win...

After an eleven-game road trip in which he hit successfully in ten of the games and brought in the winning run in 5 of the games While dazzling the fans with his skill and style in the field...

...exemplified by a spectacular grab over hard line drive to shut the door against the swallows Thursday night

...add it all up, Jack Elliot truly is proving to be Mr. Baseball Some write-up ne? Yeah You're not pleased No, no, I'm pleased

just wishing it was in the New York daily news

Big hit! Happy body!


What?! Now what?

Missed your mark again. What?

Well tell him to move the mark to where I'm standing It doesn't work that way Hey, this is not my idea. I don't wanna be here Everyone is well aware of that and this is your idea of dignified and noble it is says you. Hey pal, one more take and I'm outta here!

You're outta here when we get the shot Jack!

Push comes to shove y'know you're like all the rest of 'em How's that?

Japanese way. Shut up and take it.

Jack's way, 'ME, ME, ME'! Sometimes acceptance and cooperation are strengths also.

Giants doesn't beat us Are you sleeping in the Giants games?

Did I miss something here?

Don't mess with him today Jack Giants are like the national team around here. They almost always kick the shit out of us

You are disgracing the Dragons' uniform lower than the lowliest dogs Lower than the lowliest dogs? Hai Wow! That's low


Nice speech coach gave me goose bumps

Get in there buddy


No problem


C'mon Igi this ain't no college ball

You got lucky Billy. But not in this league man. Half these guys gift wrap it for you.

Oh no... man...

Igi doesn't dive so he pulls Itori Don't look for logic here man. It's the Giants.

C'mon boys We're beating ourselves here We need a little fire We need a little kamikaze a little banzai! Wake up in here!


See? It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings

Yes, Max! Very nice


Did I read that sign right?

He must move runner. Get him in a position to tie.

You don't pay me to bunt



I suggest you bunt I suggest you bunt! man...

Shuuto Shit!

Man... a month ago I was a New York Yankee and here I am getting my balls busted in Japanese Save it man, you're gonna need it Because as of tonight, all over Japan, they're practicing Shuutos

Got me?

...just a bad manager Oh, just kidding chief. You're a dream come true

It has been decided that you are fined 50,000 yen for disobeying your manager on the field

Also, 10,000 for disrespect your equipment

He wants to know what the second one is for That's for the next time

He wonders when the next time will be

Uchiyama-san is reminded, you are hitting off the front foot and your top hand must come over more

Jack-san, Jack-san, you shouldnft be smoking Aren't you gonna translate the sports page for me?

You love doing that It's mostly about your srump (slump)

I'm not in a sRump Just having a few slow days See hitting is like the tides. There's high tide, there's low tide. Then there's high tide again.

Low tide almost two weeks long Starting to stink-up your harbor I'm not in a goddamn slump

I hate this place


Hello Doc Greetings from Japan Jack?

Yea, it's me So how are things back home Just great Jack Hey, hell of a connection. You sound like you are right down the street Oh I wish I was Doc Listen, you gotta get me outta here Sorry buddy no can do not right now anyway not while youfre hitting down around .200 Jack in Japan, Jack!

C'mon Doc Jack, don't you think I would have you here if I could?

Yeah, I hear ya So how's your new client Doc?

C'mon Jack, I know you've been following his stats yeah well, it won't last Bet he doesn't have the endorsements I used to have No, Jack, he doesn't What's he have Doc?

Spike Lee is shooting his Nike commercial I'll see ya Jack Thanks... Doc

Big hit! Happy body!

I saw your commercial. It's uh... interesting

This is for purified. Washing your hands Look, I'm sorry for the way that I acted

Well, it wasn't your cup of coffee to begin with tea it's cup of tea Hai, tea temple? shrine Where's all those little bald guys with sheets and stuff?

That's temple Shrine, you make offering and pray

Throwing money, ring the bell to wake up the god Clap twice, close my eyes, Go ahead

Clap twice, close your eyes Right, sorry I have heard many come on lines in my time. but, "Hiroko, take me to a temple" is new one That's not a line I thought this zen deal might do me some good y'know kinda... groove on all those rocks and gardens maybe shed a little light on what's wrong with my swing The temple I had in mind is farther on If you want to have a wise brain draw it here, here, to here If you want to have a big, wide heart, draw it here

OK, I'm good So quickly?

I had a vision of what I need

...and that is?

Well, it was kind of fuzzy at first but then it was like a ray of light that kinda shone down on it Yes? it was the biggest, coldest beer I've ever seen always making jokes.

Hey, I came, I saw, I gave it a whirl.

It is not enough just to show up I thought it was ninety percent of life just to show up You must accept and welcome and try before you can learn Yes, dear.

Do not make fun of me

Hey, I'm sorry!

I am not like hostess, here to tell you how great you are.

And I am not Japanese man expecting you to, so cool your jets OK?



Four things that I accept about myself:

Problems with authority, the attention span of a gnat, a bad right knee

...and trouble understanding women

acceptance is only the first step

OK... OK

you had a vision of a beer?


That was great thanks.

You're welcome Would you like to come up for some tea? tea? Yeah No, thank you

Well OK but another beer... yes, please

Where did you go?

I have prepared a bath for you

I'm really not much of a bath guy



No peeking

Whoa! Ha-hello, it's a little hot!


...accept. Yeah, yeah


Jack, it's OK?


Are you coming in?

I'm not peeking

...erm, Hiroko

Tell me, what is your deepest fear?

We will wash it away.

My deepest fear?

Yes Well, we were at Boston, We're down 3 to 1 and I'm walking up to the plate y'know. There's two men on.

And somebody yells, "Hey, Jack. C'mon. Park it!" and, I heard him and I'm ready y'know I'm just standing there, staring at my bat like I do y'know...

and I remember thinking, I remember at that exact moment I'm thinking...

Don't miss Just don't miss.

My whole life

I wanted to hit the ball, then all of a sudden I'm trying not to miss

You will hit

I'm a baseball player

I've been a baseball player all my life Even before I was a baseball player I was a baseball player

I don't think I could be anything else

Say it:

I will hit I will hit Can I say something else?

Um... listen Hiroko, I mean...

I know this is some kind of very... innocent, uhh, very Japanese thing that-that we're doing here but Y'know I'm still a gaijin

and one that hasn't exactly

been with a woman in a while... and... I'm a little you know...

You know what I mean? accept it

I will hit, I will hit, ... I will hit.


Hey, Yoji!

(I could) use a little help here Calling a goddamn ball in here? That ball was shining my shoes Strike!

Can you take it easy man? I told you about this shit. C'mon babe


Take a risk damn it!

Safe? Safe?!

My foot was on the bag. It was glued to the goddamn bag.

Right there, right there!

Well mayb--all right maybe there

Fine. Deal with the chief.

Jack-san, shut your big mouth You are humiliating the team Just play your position and stop all the bullshit right now! Please!

Y'know Muki Mukai Yeah, I'm sorry uh, what I'm thinking here is one of the duties of a captain, and you're a, you're a fine one don't get me wrong one of the things a captain does is find little ways to get the team y'know... up laughing, get the boys' minds off their trouble and let them know it's OK to loosen up a little

Baseball is a game and games are supposed to be fun

No, Jack. No!

He tipped his hat, he tipped his hat!

No! Jack!

Jack, damn it. He tipped his hat. That means he didn't mean it.

I don't care if he ate his goddamn hat. I've had it.

Jack-san no!


I'm sick and tired of your shit. Haven't you heard a word I've said? You are really pissing me off now.

Now just take your base and get with the program!

You too, huh Max?

You know the one thing I didn't miss about playing in the States?

Was putting up with hotshots like you.

Now I don't even have that anymore!

Damn it!

Taking my base Chief. Taking my base.

Look, I didn't see him tip his goddamn hat all right?

Go get 'em kid.

The drummer is doing fine without your assistance Well I gotta do something, you don't seem to want to talk to me.

We are almost there

Does your father know that we've been doing it?

I don't discuss my sex life with him. No. but, I'm a big girl. I can do what I want.

Well Hiroko, in my experience all girls are always little girls to their fathers. and dads have this very special attitude that they lay on the guy that is doing it to their little girl and I bet that that's sort of an international attitude I hope the two of you will find other things to discuss.

Well, y'know I'm just having so much fun already.

We are here

They love me already, I can tell.



I am. I am.

They're fabulous. Especially granddad. What a card!


That's great, Hiroko, just great...


No, I don't accept!

What the hell were you thinking of?

I was thinking of you You were thinking of me?

Then why the hell didn't you tell me your dad was the Chief?

Not the Chief.

We are not at the ball park Call me Uchiyama, please.

Whoa You sly guy!

Uchiyama please.

You've been holding out all this time I am the Japanese manager of a Japanese baseball team that you agreed to play for.

It is your duty to learn my ways. Not the other way around.

Different language. Same attitude. Let's go.

We can't!

We can't. It would be a big insult to leave.

The big insult here is the way you set me up.

My grandmother has gone to a lot of trouble to prepare a traditional meal.

Hiroko is right.

For the first time today.

I'm asking you...

Please, please come in.

It's polite

It's OK.


Aw... man.


Bad luck

What did he say?

He says, "You have a hole in your swing."

Like father, like son huh?

Everyone can see it but you

and you, Jack!

Grow up!

Uh, Hiroko Wait Don't bother Wait!

Mr. Elliot. There is no way you are leaving here with her today.


I know my daughter She had this all planned. Right down to her exit.

Man, that's some piece of work you raised.

Her mother raised her. Like mother, like daughter.

Please let's go outside. K?

Situation is this. You will not be playing baseball anywhere and I will not be managing

...unless you can start hitting again.

They're gonna fire you...

Yes. Why?

You were my choice and so my responsibility, and I failed to control you.

I thought I was everybody's choice?

Management wanted Pete, Clifton or Boston

No shit...

Why'd you want me?

I looked at the tapes

Clifton is steady, but he will never get back his top game.

You were sloppy, but you had a big season left in you at least, I thought so.

Was I right?

Hey, tapes don't lie You wanna find out?

Yes K

must be my way

... or the highway

K, I'm ready Push yourself!

C'mon, c'mon push yourself! C'mon, c'mon!

You can do it! You gotta pick it up!

C'mon, C'mon! Hundred? OK

Face stretch now?

No joking.

No joking. Hai.

What about hitting?

Not ready to hit yet.

Are you OK?

Are you OK? Can give me a hand here...

Sorry! I didn't know my own strength!

You all right?

Forgot my strength too.

Hey! Ready Chief!

C'mon, c'mon, come on!

You look thirsty Chief What do you say I buy you a beer?

Later. Again You're no fun anymore

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! Pick it up! Pick it up!

Harder! Harder, Jack!

I'll be damned.

Get your ass in gear!

He speaks English Shit

Twenty. That's enough. Time for rest What do you think I am? A pussy?


Time for nice massage Hey, Chief y'know, the hot bath was really enough. Honest.


You kidders

What about hitting?

You're not ready to hit yet!

I don't want to be in a fight

and this... is French. Japan has not made this her own. Not yet.

Thank you OK Uh... your intentions were good.

But in the future I would hope that you would trust me We have a future?

I hope so.


Mm-hm From now on, different

Because Jack and Hiroko Accept one another That's the best thing

See you tonight OK

Is there any reason that you couldn't tell me they were from the same gene pool?

I told you Jack-san When? OK. When did you tell me?

I said, "Many torrents."

Difficulties surround her.

See, just because you speak English doesn't mean we speak the same language See...

None of those things mean she is Uchiyama's daughter!


"I'll take care of my own face", "You just translate what comes out of it"

All right, OK OK, fine but in the future Jack-san You want Yoji's advice about the babes, you come to Yoji with respect.


"Hai" As in yes?

"Hai" as in yes Yes

Hold on a minute boys.

Now, you're ready to hit

What the hell does this have to do with anything?

Different perspective. Same task.

Find the ball with the bat I wanna hit baseballs!

What did you say?

I said I wanna hit That's what, I want to hear.


Heard there's a Japanese tradition get drunk and tell off your boss he can't hold it against you

You got some bad habits of your own. Namely your attitude My attitude? That's right My attitude provides the foundation for this team.



Bullshit. Yeah, that's right. These kids can play ball. That's the foundation of this team.

And you know what? They could be even better if you didn't scare the shit out of 'em.

You got them so uptight they couldn't get a greased BB up their butt.

Greased BB what?

Grea--You heard me

I make them the best they can be!



Well try letting your pitchers pitch their way out of trouble sometime. Y'know they might just reach down, and show you a little something. They surprise the hell out of you. and some of your boys, they got speed. Let 'em stretch a single. They might not...

You wouldn't have to bunt all the time!

Just... let 'em have a little fun Baseball is work. Not fun.


Baseball is grown men getting paid to play a game When you were a little kid I bet you didn't pick up a bat and a ball because you were dying to work a player's career is short enough Let 'em enjoy it.

Are you finished? Not quite.


Leave my daughter out of this!

Hey, Japanese tradition. Anything I want.

You wouldn't wanna break a tradition would ya?

Now listen to me Hiroko is a major pain in the ass but so what? So are you So am I and she's a terrific girl

...woman and you ought to tell her that sometime

To what do you attribute your renewed power?

"Big Hit! Happy Body!"

You are on your way to breaking Uchiyama-san's record for consecutive homerun games

any friction between the two of you guys?

I think uh... if it meant beating the Giants he would be all for it

Moshi-moshi. Hey Jack what do you say big guy?


Who else?

Uh, good morning.

Uh, afternoon here in civilization Sport, which is where I hope to have you a couple days from now.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about bringing you home. Rich Lovett broke his wrist the Dodgers need power and I told them you're the man.

I'm flying over with Howie Gold from their front office. We're gonna be at the game on Thursday Hey that's great Doc.

Now they start a big series with Atlanta on Saturday and you're gonna be ready to fly with us all right?

See ya at the game big guy

What's "Great Doc"?

That was my agent. He's flying over with a guy from the Dodgers They're interested.

For next season?

No, for next weekend and... you would go?

Well wouldn't you if you were me?

Send me a postcard Aww, come on Hiroko

"come on" where?

Now, now, just cool your jets for a minute Jet's temperature just fine.

Hey, look, y'know, maybe you could go with me?

Y'know you said you always wanted to go back someday.

Yes Yeah with plan. With purpose.

Not just to wave from stands like blonde Bambis Bimbos Like come on. I think we're just getting a little bit ahead of ourselves here I mean... nothing is definite something very definite definite that baseball and Jack always come before Hiroko and Jack.

Hey come on now gimme a break. This is my job.

Not just job. It's who you are.

You said it to me yourself. Always been a ball player. even before you were a ball player. So go be a ball player.

But I'm not glove or bat you pack up and take along.

I am a woman.

I'll say

He's hit dingers in seven consecutive games and tonight he's going for the record.

Seven in a row. Consecutive games? That's right Whoa, I hope I'm not getting in anybody's way here.

Excuse me

Jack-san, Mukai-san wants to talk to you

He wants you to know that

although at first he didn't like you

just that you're just another gaijin helper

but now, he respects you very much

he has learned much from you about how to play baseball

he truly believes that you are the real Mr. Baseball

about breaking Uchiyama-san's record, is a big thing

but please challenge it Mukai-san and all teammates are rooting for you

Uh, tell him

I owe you Mukai!

Let's kick ass!


Shit He's scared of you Jack


Ball three

Hey! Greetings fellow American. They don't like gaijin breaking their records.

There's a thousand dollar fine for every strike they throw you babe

He ripped that one


Oh, what a play!

We'll get 'em

Aw man


Stand up Itoi, he ain't coming out

There ya go Now I buy the pussies Nono, now you own the pussies Own the pussies...

"Own the pussies" da.


If that was a strike it'd be out of the question

Ball two

Ball three


Get outta here. Get outta here!

Get outta here!

Smile Chief and yet we're losing Hey, we're behind. Big difference You're way is not working We're playing like a team here Chief. Don't back out on 'em now.

C'mon girls! Rally caps Rally caps, let's go, let's go. C'mon

You all right?

Tip your hat!

Tip your hat damn it!

Get off of me!


Hey, just like back home huh?

Got any naked pictures of your wife?

No, but I got some of yours

Hey Max! He's got to let him hit now. Right?

He may have loosened up a little. Still Uchi

Did I read that sign right?


Swing away Maybe I'll break your record

I said, swing away Yes. Chief.

C'mon Jack baby!

Jack-san! C'mon!

Smack it!



It's gonna cost you Chief!

Hey, I hope you're packed. We're leaving from Tokyo at noon tomorrow.

You're gonna love playing in LA.

The Dodgers will get a good use out of you. Believe me.

Have you got family back home?

Wife and two kids in Jersey.

Well, fly 'em down to Atlanta. They could join you there.

All right. Hey thanks Howie.

My pleasure. Thanks Hey Jack,

Good game Jack.

Not exactly. I couldn't get a pitch Howie Gold. LA Dodgers Hey Howie Listen Jack, the straight shot is that Howie's a...

I owe you one Jack So do I Hey, you glad?

I'm glad You're back I'm back I'll be back there hitting them over your head in no time I know you will Hey this guy try and sign you yet?

I'll be thinking about it Be careful.

Jack-san Big Chief

Hey! Jack-san!

I didn't see my daughter in the stands Yeah, uh, well I'm afraid some of you Uchiyamas are just a little too stubborn for this old boy.

Stubborn but worth it Yes?


Tell me what happened.


Your man's still got it Yeah, he does.

Wow! What a shot! That's long


No. Tell them to hold off. I'll fax the new set in an hour. OK?

Thank you. Bye.


All right now you keep this shoulder in, keep it in and just explode your hips right through the ball and trust your hands

Thanks Chief

What did you call me?


Thanks Coach No, that's OK kid Call me Chief Rie and Junko: Do your homework!