My Entire High School Sinking Into the Sea (2016) Script

Jeez.

Shit.


School sucks so hard.

Bring it on.

Morning, Assaf.

Let's sit further back.

Really?

We're ready.

It's time.

Okay.

Don't be afraid.

I'll lead the way.

This is what they call upward social mobility.

I've never sat so far back on the bus before, Dash.

We're sophomores now.

Look, my zits are gone.

You've lost your spaghetti belly.

We're like entirely new people.

We're gonna make lots of friends now.

Yeah.

This is gonna be a big year for our hero and his faithful sidekick.


Excuse me, construction men, follow Principal Grimm's instructions please.

We have a responsibility to these newbies, Assaf.

We are sophomore reporters.

They need our wisdom.

I think this year we have a chance to really change people.

Nobody reads the paper, Dash.

That's not true.

What about the haunted locker room story?

Didn't that sell out of an entire print run?

Sold?

You mean we gave them all away for free.

Woah, it's ass huff and crater face, my two favorite dorks.

How's the rag coming along?

Why should they respect us?

We don't write about anything.

Just phony stories and puff pieces, who cares?

We gotta do real deal, heavy hitting articles from now on.

Yeah, we need to give these freshmen something they can use like Assaf and Dash's High School Survival Guide.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, like we're teaching them how to live, like The Holy Bible or The Boy Scout Handbook.

Totally.

Tip One, respect the school paper staff, especially Dash.

Any harm done to Dash will be returned tenfold to yourself, or make it thyself.

Done to thyself or enacted upon thyself, got that?

Shouldn't we try to make our writing less overwrought?

No, I like turgid prose.

Vote Mary, vote Mary.

Uh, the establishment.

Mary for class president.

Consider Mary on Election Day, won't you?

Student politics are a puppet show.

Hey, screw you.

Kiss ass, puppet.

He doesn't mean it.

He's a cynic, Mary.

Cynics are cowards.

See, you think people aren't your friends cause of your acne, but the truth is it might be more of a personality issue.

Oof, gross.

Anyway, survival tip numero dos, ignore the light shakes and ignore the schoolwork too.

Don't care about it.

Don't care?

Everybody is freaking out trying to be like Brent Daniels, straight A sports star, boring bore.

If you don't have good grades, you're thinking outside the box.

You're ahead of the curve.

You're a shoo in for any job.

I don't know.

That's not gonna to fly with Verti.

Grades are so important to her.

Verti's the editor.

She corrects the spelling and the punctuation.

She doesn't mess with the meat.

She provides input.

Since when?

She, uh...

Just type something in.

Got it.

Tip two, take vegetable snack breaks between studies.

I think we both can agree that that was self-censorship on our part, but it's a nice segway to tip finale, lunch.

Mm, yeah.

Pack it. Pack it.

Sent.

Yes.

It's all right.

It's another issue.

Come on, we're gonna have to work on that enthusiasm, Verti.

Excuse me?

This is a big moment for us.

Beautiful.

First edition of the year.

All the news that's fit to print.

Hot off the press.

The voice of the people.

Get it while it's hot.

Smell the printer ink.

Freedom of the press alive and in action, right here.

Mm, so good, it's hot.

My controversial editorial on hall passes.

Thirst for knowledge.

Assaf's gag cartoons.

Question things.

Uh, a pretty good crossword puzzle.

Nobody's picking it up.

They don't respect it because it's free.

They don't think it has any value.

No, they just don't like us.

School paper, $3.99.

All the news at the low price of $3.99.

Uh yeah, $3.99.

A low, low price for such a priceless paper.

Know what's going on.

Know the facts.

Don't you shits know what's good for you?

Oh no, it's these three.

I'm going to bat it out of their hands.

Watch.

Don't start a gang war.

We gotta be above them.

Losers.

Don't let Gretchen bring you down.

She's just intimidated by intellectual ambition.

It still makes her a bitch.

Ambitious or not, we've lost touch with the streets.

Maybe print really is dead.

We need articles about hot issues like whether to wear your backpack with one strap or two, or an article about the new rooftop auditorium.

Oh, Verti assigned me the new auditorium article.

What?

I thought it'd be better for Assaf to write articles on his own so we can cover more ground.

That's how the real papers do it.

Yeah, I write my own pieces so you can write exposes that deal with your own issues.

I don't have any issues, man.

We've got to be all positive energy...

Our hero spider-senses a growing rift at the school bullpen, a rift that may shatter its very foundation.

Every morning, I stare at the cereal box.

I read it over and over.

It's beautiful and full of ideas and games and pictures.

Hot gossip about the worst of the worst.

It's got it all, backstabbing, betrayal.

Hot off the presses.

The scum of the class.

Today we'll be discussing the end of William Golding's novel, review your reports, and then at noon we'll break class and go upstairs for the new auditorium ceremony.

I swear I turned it off.

I promise I turned it off before class.

It's probably broken.

I'm disappointed in you.

Your friends can wait until after school.

Dashiell Shaw, report to the front office immediately.

Dash Shaw.

Go ahead, Shaw.

Yeah, yeah.

Sit, Shaw.

There's not much to write about at Tides High.

We're a peaceful, uneventful place.

I understand you dreaming up fanciful scoops like that haunted locker room story you wrote last year.

It was harmless, and your imagination charmed me.

So I was completely shocked you'd sneak a smear piece in, and one directed at your only friend.

But with digital competitors, breaking news has to rush to...

"Tragedy befalls student Assaf Shoaib, "suffering erectile dysfunction."

It's so cruel.

Cheerleader Gretchen Miller noted the irony that, quote, "Chubby can't get a chubby."

Please tell me what brought this on.

Verti assigned me to write this article about the new auditorium solo, without Dash.

Verti broke up our writing team.

She's coming between us.

You should bring her in here.

Chew her out.

She was just trying...

To tear us apart.

Silence.

Not only are you unfit for the Gazette, Shaw, this is going on your Permanent Record.

No, Principal Grimm, please, no, listen.

Writing for the paper is my only love in life, please.

I want you to think about what you've done by trash talking your friend's penis.

You're dismissed.

Got it, Grimm.

Benji, Grimm's manservant.


Our hero ventured into the hidden guts of the school, its intestines, to find its bounty.

The Gazette's just us now.

Uh, I guess so, yeah.

I guess, yeah.

Dash was just bringing you down.

You're the better writer.

But you don't think I'm boring, do you?

No, you're factual, and truth is beauty.

I have a new assignment for you.

It's a restaurant review.

Um, I don't, well, I...

They're gonna know you're reviewing if you order more than one meal, so I'm gonna have to go with you.

Okay, that makes sense.

I don't drive.

Huh.

I mean to the restaurant, so...

What restaurant?

Uh, it's called Gonagai.

It's a Japanese restaurant.

So you'll have to pick me up at like 7:15, this Friday?

Oh, right, uh, um, yes.

Don't worry.

I'll bring my thesaurus.


Blueprints.

Inspection form.

Carbon copy.

Inspector Tina Mark.

"School structure does not meet California

"state earthquake code standards.

"Weight from auditorium addition will make

"supporting cliff ground unstable, not to code."

Inspector Tina Mark.

Uh, you.

Mary.

I'm here for my phone.

You never saw me.

The new auditorium additions can't survive a light quake.

Yeah, right.

The cliff will collapse.

We have to get everybody out of here.

Uh, gross.

I made a list of synonyms of the word delicious, tasty, delectable.

Delectable, what a wonderful word.

Attention, everyone, pencils down.

I've made a startling discovery.

The new school additions are not up to earthquake codes.

We must cancel all classes and tests and homework forever and evacuate.

Breaking news.

It's sad.

Freshmen.

It is sad.

Single file. Try to remain calm. Don't panic.

Dash snuck into the school archives.

Chaos only breeds chaos.

Everybody out.

Go.

Gimme that.

Throw him in detention.

Fact, all of the best writers have been banned from the library.

And what were you doing in the archives?

Uh, well, as a student council member, I have specific privileges and access to...

Uh, I can't believe this.

You blew your cover to get locked in here with me.

Smart move.

When we plummet to hell, you're gonna need a real hero to get you out.

Are you nuts?

The next quake, the school's weight is gonna break the cliff side, and we're going to go bam, boom.

"Help me.

"Dash was right.

"If we'd only assigned Dash to report

"on the new auditorium

"and research it like a real journalist, "but now we're dead."

I can't believe you're still jealous about this Assaf thing, which is so stupid I can't believe I even know about it.

What I want to know is who are you gonna sit with at lunch?

One minus one equals zero, zero friends.

How many friends do you think you have?

Uh, just the entire student council.

They have to be employed by you to be your friend?

What does that say about you?

Pretty freaked up, don't you think?

What about the modern dance club and the entire gymnastics team?

You can't join a club and count them all as your friends.

I love those girls.

Okay, cool.

Tonight I'm gonna join the debate team, the chess club, the gardening club.

If we survive to four o'clock, I'll officially have more friends than you.

Look at my Facebook friends.

You have Facebook stalkers.

Those don't count as real friends either.

What counts then?

Well,

Assaf and I were on a scouting trip last summer.

We'd pitched out tent in a ditch accidentally.

Not surprising.

The next day, Assaf realized the only socks he'd packed were completely covered in mud.

He asked me if he could borrow a pair.

Of course I said yes.

How romantic.

At lunch, he saw something peaking out of my boots.

I hadn't packed extra socks either.

I'd given him my last pair and spent the whole day hiking with dirty, used underwear wrapped around my feet.

I did that for him because I thought we were best friends.

I hope we never become friends.

Don't worry.

There's no chance of that happening.

Mary's words sunk into our hero like urine staining a pair of tighty whities, but he felt that his scouting story was valid because it was about how friends help each other when they're tested by dire circumstances.

I heard all of that.

Yeah, I know.

Three, two, one.

Attention, each class, move into a single-file line outside your classroom to attend the new auditorium ceremony in the senior floor gymnasium.

Alright, we're finally finished.

Hey, what's happening?

Um.

It's just an earthquake.

Uh.


What's that?

I knew it.

I warned you all.

See?


What?

Salt water?

Mary, hey, Mary, Mary, I think I was right.

Mary, Mary, hey.

Where are you going?

Away from you.

Mary, wait.

I told you this was gonna happen.

Assaf.

Holy guacamole.

Assaf.

Assaf.

My leg.

Assaf!

Where are you?

Over here.

Assaf, you okay?

Where's Verti?

Holy cow, man.

I tried to warn everybody.

I lost Verti.

Where is she?

I don't know.

I don't know.

My legs are caught under the bookcase.

I gotta amputate.

Dude, just lift the bookcase.

Oh, yeah, okay.

It's kind of heavy.

I told you, you should've taken my mom's yoga class with me.

You needed to lose weight, not me.

Yoga makes you sweat, and sweat makes me break out.

Besides, this is about upper body strength.

Yoga doesn't help with stuff like that.

Yoga concerns the breath, and the breath concerns all.

Wow, woah, I didn't even know I was that strong.

You owe your life to me.

Verti, where are you?

Verts?

Verti.

Look, see?

She's fine.

She needs her inhaler.

Verti, can you talk to me?

Where do you keep your inhaler?

Is it in a bag?

Maybe inhalers are in the nurse's office.

Her eyes are bulging.

Just cause I saved your life doesn't mean I've forgotten about your betrayal of our writing partnership.

They look all bloated and messed up.

They're always like that.

They aren't always like that.

I know her eyes.

You know her eyes, great.

You slim back, and suddenly you're Mr. Ladies Man, going around knowing everybody's eyes.

It sounds so fetish-y, like you're a pupil pervert.

Shut up.

We need medical stuff now.

Quiet, stay cool.

Everyone remain calm.

I'm sure this has happened before, and they have a procedure for something like this.

Principal Grimm will be here shortly to give us instructions...

Give me a break.

We need inhalers in there, Benji.

We don't need policing.

It's a free state now.

Is that a shark?

They want our blood!

Anyone got a key?

Yeah.

Single file line...

Look.

Yes, we got it.

Breathe evenly.

Breathe from your breasts.

We're all inflatables.

Yeah, put all the stuff in there, just in case.

Dump it all in.

Let's put everything in a big pile...

Looks like he's getting something there...

And divide it up equally.

Pills.

We must have democracy!

That's communism, Benji.

No, it isn't.

Benji's a communist!

I am not.

It's anarchy now.

Take responsibility for your own selves.

Ah, they're biting.

The school's rocking.

To higher ground.

Yeah, breathe in.

A long breath, the yoga skull shining breath.

So, what's up?

The school fell off a cliff?

I think we're drifting out.

The school is flooding obviously.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

Oh my God, guys.

There are sharks.

We know.

They really like you.

Why do they like her?

She's popular.

What do I do?

You can jump, over here.

Oh God, oh God, they're biting at me.

Tranquilizers?

Does it work on sharks?

Help me, and I'll invite you to my next party, I swear.

We don't like parties.

Please, they're really cool.

There's no way to have a meaningful conversation at a party.

Just jump.

I'm buff enough to catch you.

I can't.

What'll that do?

We'll figure out a plan.

Okay.

Does that one look like it's getting tired to you?

Gretchen, close your eyes and jump.

One, two, three.


They ate her.

I didn't think they'd eat her.

We gotta get down the hall, up the stairs to the junior floor.

We're gonna die here.

We're not gonna die.

We might die.

Gretchen just died.

I never wrote a book.

I never edited one.

I wanted to have a whole line of books with matching spines so they look good on a shelf together.

I'm gonna die a virgin.

Me too.

That's so brave of you to say.

I know.

They're not honest like you.

Oh, my, I'm a virgin too, sort of.

Let's just focus on getting out of here, okay?

Hold on.

What's up with her?

Verti and I are gonna go to a Japanese restaurant on Boulevard, like together.

Of course you are.

You can't sense the invisible energy that exists between people?

I can sense it.

Uh, I hate sensing it.

It's like having a good sense of smell.

Most things smell bad.

It's better not to smell things.

It isn't worth it.

No, no, some things smell okay.

What about scented candles?

If you say something smells, you don't have to say it smells bad because something smelling at all implies that it smells bad.

It's like you and Verti dropped a rancid stink bomb.

It's gross.

It almost makes me want to vomit in my mouth.

I had a daycare at the YMCA...

Right, this is the perfect time to tell us about your daycare.

No, no, we'd play a game in the pool.

You'd breathe the air...

Yeah, the breath.

The air that's trapped under the steps.

Oh, is the object of the game death?

No, it's life.

Look.

See?

There are pockets of air under there.

You think we should swim to the stairs while looking for trapped air for when we start dying?

You have a better idea?

You're the editor.

Assaf?

I like the idea.

It has the logic of a dream.

Thank you.

Alright, okay, let's do it.

I'm into it.

Okay, get a big gulp of air, as much as you can before we start, three, two, one...

Initiating.


We lost Dash.


Lunch Lady Lorainne.

His arm's red.

A jellyfish stung him.

Bite down hard as you can.

This ain't gonna hurt is what I'd say if I was a liar.

This'll do it.

Watch yourself, coming through.

Watch yourself.

We can break apart this table and make like a boat.

I always wanted to do that.

When my parents find out about this, they're gonna shit their pants.

Everyone outside is talking about us.

We're famous.

I guess so, but we might die.

Then we'll be posthumously famous.

It'll help with your political legacy.

Yeah, all the great politicians are dead.

Some people are trying to swim, but have you been in that water?

Yuck.

Everyone remain calm.

This looks worse than it is.

The situation will be solved soon.

Anyone with a working cell phone volunteer it to us immediately and pass it forward.

I would've had mine.

Okay guys, everyone be cool.

Please, listen to Mrs. Brinson.

Yeah, be cool like Benji.

I heard that.

Don't you dare try to hurt my feelings.

We were better off with the sharks.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I gotta call my mom.

She gets so worried.

She doesn't trust you?

You're an independent person.

Yeah, but, I mean, you know how it is when your mom gets worried.

Here, drink it.

Thank you.

That's a herbal elixir, Dash.

It enhances your natural healing abilities.

You must drink it.

Okay.

Your skin is delicate, much too feminine for a boy.

Excuse me?

I worked hard to get this baby soft skin.

You should've seen me a year ago.

You ever go outside?

I go outside.

Hm, do you pack your lunch?

Yeah.

Yeah, cause I've been including skin toughening ingredients lately, but okay, whatever.

You're gonna be fine.

The burn will scab.

The scab will peel in time.

Oh, oh good.

Thank you, um...

Lunch Lady Lorainne.

That's your real name?

Take the name others give you, and they'll think they control you.

They dismiss you.

Only when eyes are off, when you're undetected, are you free.

Free to do what?

Your work.

Quiet.

Silence!

Order in the food court!

Attention, everyone.

Look at this.

This just in, tragedy at Tides High.

They're talking about us.

Shut up, I wanna hear this.

In what was only a level two earthquake, a cliff side fractured and slid into the Pacific.

Onboard the cliff is a high school with roughly 900 students still inside.

Emergency teams have been dispatched and will be there imminently.

Students at the school are instructed to stay where they are and to listen to their teachers.

What do you make of this, Harris?

Yet another case of the failure of our education system to meet the safety standards of a burgeoning economy on the verge of collapse.

See?

They know exactly what they're talking about...

Those are bad reporters.

There's no need to worry at all.

We're making boats to go out to the window and sail.

No, no, we are to stay right here.

They can't evacuate us all out.

The generator's gonna hit the ground, travel through the water, and electrocute all of us.

That's preposterous.

We're dead already, y'all.

What'll we do?

There's no way.

We absolutely have to stay calm.

You're all fools.

Who is that?

By the time you make a few dinghies, the school will have collapsed.

If you stay here, you die.

We have to move up to the Senior Floor, and then graduate to the roof.

Sit down, Dash.

Sit on this, Benji.

Completely inappropriate.

Why doesn't anybody like me?

Look, this was a fatal mistake made by our superiors.

Respect your elders.

People in positions of power, I don't know how many, but definitely Principal Grimm, knew this could happen, and yet they chose to ignore.

Get off.

Hey.

Watch it, prick.

Don't touch me.

Back off.

Look at yourselves.

You look like a pack of animals.

Ceasefire.

Pacify yourselves.

Pacify.

Be top chefs and apologize.

No way.


I'm sorry.

I'm sorry too.

Yeah, I bet you're sorry.

Now all of you apologize to each other.

Sorry.

Thanks for handling this, Lunch Lady Lorainne.

I'm going up the floors to safety.

Who will join our hero on his journey?

Who is that again?

I'm with you.

There, there.

Ass huff and crater face, classic.

Thank you.

Mary, are you for real?

Dash knew this was going to happen.

I was with him right before.

Seriously?

It wasn't by choice.

We were in detention.

You should come with us.

Staying here won't do anything.

But everyone else is here.

But I'm going.

Alright, then.

It's best if we move quickly.

See y'all at your funerals.

I always felt like Mary never actually cared about the team.

I felt the same way.

God dang it, you kids need me.

Oh, okay.

Uh, sure.

Come with us, Lunch Lady Lorainne.

You can just call me Lorainne.

Wait, where's Verti?

Knock, knock.

I need to powder my nose.

Occupied, obviously.

What you got there?

Hey, this restroom is female-identified, you creeps.

She's spunky.

She's a little chipmunk.

I wasn't even supposed to be here this year.

I was gonna be home schooled, but the old man couldn't handle me anymore.

Thus, I'm here on this sinking ship, and we're seeking recreational drug use for our final moments, Verti.

We know you're holding in that backpack.

Give it up.

Drop dead.

Holy moly.

This is like my mom's dresser drawer, antidepressants, Advil, Aspirin, anti-itch cream, cough syrup.

That's not too bad.

Hydrocortisone cream, a butt-load of band aids, Q- tips.

I know it ain't right, but it feels so good to clean your ears with Q-tips.

Woah, party in the ladies' room, and Lunch Lady Lorainne's catering, nice.

Don't let these trolls bother you.

Mary?

You're with us?

For now at least.

They have my inhaler.

Give it up, Drake.

Don't be an ass, Drake.

Don't be a shitty asshole.

You want to lose some chub, chubby man?

You turds really want to tussle?

Seriously?

Is she for real?

Get over here.

Ow.

Get a load of this.

They'll survive.

Here you go, for your wounds.

I was a fool.

I take it back.

I'm sorry.

Come on everybody, to the senior floor.

You made that look so easy, Lorainne.

That's sweet of you to say.

Eventually, we'll write a book about this.

The most terrifying thing for me in gym was doing my first back bend.

I always needed a friend to spot me.

When you'd fall, wouldn't you hurt your back?

Or land on your head?

Yeah, but I'd just try again.

Eventually, I did it.

How?

I'd picture myself outside of my body, alone.

So as I was bending, I imagined seeing myself leaning back and trusting that space between my hand and the floor.

I'd just go for it.

That's what you must've done, Lorainne.

In your mind's eye, you viewed yourself as some kind of righteous ninja god.

Ninja god, that's good, yeah.

We can use that for the book.

Lunch Lady Lorainne's legs flew at the velocity of a righteous ninja god, dismantling the three villains and plunging them to the floor, where dirty rats like them belong, with the dust and the dirt and the dirt tiles.

Hm, I don't know.

It's too much.

It's too much, Dash.

I'll take a pass on it later.

See, there's no poetry in y'all.

The stair is blocked.

Damn.

We're gonna need a new plan.

Okay now, the water's here.

So it's rising a floor every 10 minutes?

If it goes at the same pace.

We just don't know.

We have to get to the senior floor.

The seniors will have a plan.

My ex-husband and I captained a ship.

As we drift farther out, the water will rise faster.

So we need to either scale the building, which will be tough for you tykes, or, better, take the repair ladder in the staff elevators.

Fire it up.

Oh, dear.

They're not gonna graduate.

The Senior Floor.

There's enough space to climb through it if, like, you were...

A gymnast.

We'll tell the story of your bravery in our book, Mary.

Thanks, I guess.

Mary scaled the building without an ounce of hesitation, like an especially able, tree climbing sloth.

She was truly agile and courageous.

Super heroic, a super heroic tree climbing sloth.

Still too much.

There's something blocking the shaft.

I have to knock it free.

Is someone there?

A Senior.

Are you climbing up the elevator shaft?

Yeah.

Why didn't you take the stairs?

Uh, they're blocked, duh.

Duh, I didn't know, alright?

Yo, she thinks you're an idiot.

Are you the Sophomore class prez?

So what?

She's kinda cute, bro.

Those fliers were dumb.

You're dumb.

Tell them to push out the door jamming the shaft.

Can you push out the door...

We can hear your boyfriend, okay?

Oh my god.

He's not my boyfriend.

It's stuck.

No duh.

Who says duh anymore?

Lots of people.

I just feel like this might be more trouble than it's worth.

Yeah, you're right, but they might die.

Hey, we'll be back in like a sec.

Yeah, one sec bros.

Hurry.

God, chillax.

I thought Senior boys were supposed to be mature.

No, they never mature.

We got a long ass pole.

I can't see.

Hold on, girl.

Grab our pole.

We'll pull you up.

Ha, you said grab our pole.

Hello?

Hello?

She left us.

I knew it.

She always thought she was too cool for us.

Really?

My best friend in middle school had just moved here from another state.

We were friends until I realized I was just a placeholder until she made actual new friends.

I was the only one who'd hang out with a transfer student.

So she left me when she found girls who were into volleyball.

I hate volleyball.

People like Mary pretend to be your best friend for one school year, until someone else comes along, and then they drop you.

Don't give up on her.

Scope this sweet ride.

Catch you on the flip side.

They made that?

Wow.

Later, gator masturbator.

That doesn't even make any sense.

It means you jerk off crocodiles, idiot.

They're not gonna make it out in that stupid thing.

Keep rowing strong, my friends.

Woo, land ho.

It's weird up here, guys.

You were a captain and married.

To Curtis Gomez.

He was a good man.

We sailed the globe together.

We saw everything and ate everything.

He died from food poisoning, 1984.

That's when I vowed I'd learn to cook.

I'm so sorry, Lorainne.

That's horrible.

Did you have any children?

Hm, no.

Just you all.

Your turn, kiddo.

Get in the bucket, Lorainne.

We can't leave you down here.

Come on.

The water's rising fast.

Lift us both up.

What the hell?

I don't wanna die on the junior floor.

Drake, man, not cool.

Just kick him off.

But I'll drown.

Danger causes sweat and sweat causes forehead acne.

The wires.

Just pull.

Pull.

Watch out.

A moment flashed before my eyes.

I was a baby breast feeding.

I tasted milk, and then I zapped back here.

Gosh.

You two are seniors?

Yeah.

You're all burnt up.

You look like crusty demons.

Yeah, like cooked meat.

Yo, let's take them to Brent.

Brent Daniels?

Oh, brother.

A rock struck the school gas pump during the slide.

Fire shot up here, blowing through the whole floor.

I was in Trig Two when, boom.

That shit woke me up.

Jeez.

Times are tough.

College applications just went out and most of us haven't heard back.

I did early admissions at two places and both were like, "No way."

I really wanted to do law school for like a million years.

There's no jobs anyway, might as well stay in school as long as you can, yo.

What you gotta do is invent something for a mobile device.

I have a couple ideas.

We're gonna write a book.

An adventure memoir.

Oh, yeah, you all write for the school paper.

Your prose is too purple for my taste.

That's Dash.

We're cutting back.

But if it's about a sinking high school, that heightened style might work.

Yes, can we use that as a blurb for the back of the book?

Nah, I don't believe in blurbs.

Yeah, who gives a shit what somebody else thinks about something?

Make up your own minds.

People are such sheep.

Sometimes it helps put the book in context.

Do what you gotta do.

Still, you could find a better senior than me to blurb it.

Lord knows my name ain't selling any books.

Maybe ask Brent Daniels.

Yeah, we'll ask him, but only if it comes up naturally.

Your knocking disturbed Brent Daniels.

We have survivors, underclassmen, plus a lunch lady.

Hm, interesting, very interesting.

Wow, Brent Daniels, I'm a huge advocate of your work, and I believe...

Shut up.

You smell like a bunch of loser Soft-mores, am I right?

I mean, how the hell did they get up here?

Did you claw you way up with the rats?

Look at these guys.

Hey, is that my home fry Brake?

It's Drake actually with a D.

This is the dude that hooked us up after the Freeman game.

Let the bro through, bro.

Brake, man, you got anything on you?

Uh, yeah, actually I do.

You ever robo-tripped before?

Friend, I was just hoping for some Q-Tips.

Okay, not a problem.

Q- tips is actually a brand name, so I just got cotton swabs.

Just hand them over.

Oh yeah, it's been too long.

Hey, any of you guys know this Sophomore girl Gretchen, kinda short, black hair, breasts like this, but, you know, some days more like this, you know?

It kinda depends on the day.

She's dead.

Damn.

Dude, you shouldn't go out with a sophomore anyway, dude.

A cute girl's a cute girl.

I'm no ageist.

Dude, forgive me.

What are you guys doing?

The whole building's gonna collapse.

Emergency whoever will be here when they're here.

Take a chill pill, man.

Take a chillaxative.

A chill-axative, I just made that up.

And what's with the lunch lady?

Don't you kids know to pack it?

Screw you!

They're cramping our style.

You can get rid of them.

Yes, sir.

Hey, hey You can't treat us like this.

Open it.

Open it.

We don't want our book blurbed by an asshole.

Open it, you little shits.

Wow, Brent Daniels sucks.

I can't wait to tell my friends, or my old friends, if they're still alive.

Keep low.

Is there another way out?

There's no way out.

Is it one of the ghosts?

Principal...

Grimm?

You did this.

I know, Dash.

You forged the inspection?

Why?

An inspector came to look at the school.

Everything appeared fine on the outside, but the insides were rotten from years of neglect.

If a floor was moldy, we had built another floor on top of it.

The whole ground around the school was weak, broken, and on a fault line.

If this got out, we'd have to shut down the whole school.

I'd lose my job, everything, so I...

So you lied.

If the student council had known about this, you would've stood trial for your crime.

I just thought we'd build this addition now, use it to attract attention to the school, and then raise financing to fix all the real problems.

Hah.

What about the emergency rescue?

A mass evacuation of 1,000?

In the middle of a stormy ocean around a flaming building?

It'll take too long.

Three whole floors have drowned, and now it's tipping over for the final fall.

Hold on.

I wish I could say that I'll see you all in heaven, but I know I'm destined for the pits of hell.

That way, I'll block the rocks.

Stay low.

Come on, Grimm.

You go ahead, Dash.

You don't wanna die here, now, like this, in this sweaty locker room.

Come with us, Grimm.


Jesus Christ.

We're completely 90 degrees.

Holy moly.

Holy shit!

I wish I'd never seen that.

He'll live on in our shitty memories of him.

We'd have to climb up this floor to reach the top window.

It's not possible.

This is it.

Life was pointless and filled with pain with only fleeing moments of kindness and beauty.

Oh, okay, Assaf.

That's exactly the kind of writing we need, man.

Gorgeous.

It was nice getting to know you kids better.

There's gotta be some way.

Wait, when the bleachers open, there's an aluminum structure underneath.

You could climb up through the inside.

It's your only chance.

Where's the switch?

There.

Someone would have to climb through that bus to trigger the bleachers.

I'm the strongest so...

You're not the strongest.

Lunch Lady Lorainne is the strongest, but she's not the thinnest.

I can break through spaces that I can't fit in.

I'm the smallest.

I'll be the easiest to pull out after I get hurt.

I'm the most flexible maybe.

No way.

I can do it.

I want to do it.

But look at the flaming...

What's he doing?

Principal Grimm.

I failed my students.

I wasn't a good principal.


The wire's cut.

I have to reach it.

This is how I want to die.

Don't, Grimm.

Grimm, don't.

Principal Grimm.

Write your books and live your dreams.

Do as your mentors say and not as they do.

I'm sorry, farewell.

Yes.

He did it.

Principal Grimm!

He chose his death.

That's the best any of us can hope for.

Everybody stick together.


I don't like gym.

I don't like the competitiveness of sports.

Just because you don't like sports doesn't mean you can't be a physical person.

That's why we have boy scouts and girl scouts and yoga.

Look out.

No.

No, leave me here.

I'm nothing.

I'm just a burden.

Shut up with that.

We need you.

Aw man, my body.

Dash.

If we lost you, who am I going to talk to after all of this?

You don't have to.

We're gonna have to be each other's trauma treatment therapists, okay?

Okay, alright.

I like hearing about pain.

Take my arm.

I'm so sorry, dude, about the article.

I was just jealous.

I saw how Verti was moving in.

There's no need for this.

Just let me say this.

I take it back.

I was so stupid, and I didn't mean it.

I wasn't thinking about what I was doing, okay?

You're my best friend.

You just gotta respect Verti and I.

We got our own adventure going on, man.

I know.

I'll never make fun of yoga or any of those sissy sports ever again.


Come on, there's no point in dying now.

We've got a first draft to write.

As if scaling the depths of Hades, our heroes rose

like a tree growing towards the light.

Blind to the hopeless despair around them, they climbed upwards.

Like the little hairs growing on the inside of a tarantula.

Just feeling their way through instinct and vision to live another day.

Hell yes, beautiful.

Lunch Lady Lorainne, all praise her name.

She's our guardian, our angel Samaritan.

Lunch Lady Lorainne.

What now?

There's nowhere to go.

We climb through that window to the outside.

How are we gonna get up there?

We prop that soccer goal across the stage to use it as a bridge to the window.

What, are you gonna fly into the closet from here?

No, you're going to with those bungee cords.

What?

Just close your eyes and envision yourself as a phoenix, flying out of the ashes.

Right.

One, two, three, ha.

One, two, three, ha.

Okay, what's the status?

Verti's gonna be a human slingshot to get into the supply closet to move the soccer goal to make a bridge to the window.

Uh.

Awesome plan, I love it.

Imagine yourself doing it.

You're a bird, an arrow shot out of a bow, a shooting star.

I'm a speeding bullet.

I'm Superman.

I am Margaret Atwood.

I am Ursula K. Le Guin.

I was wrong to have ever dissed you, Verti.

I am Samuel Delany.

You can do it.

We believe in you.

I am Gertrude Stein.

Verti's the best editor ever.

You're the greatest, Lunch Lady Lorainne.

I love your grits.

We love you, Lunch Lady Lorainne.

I wanna live with you.

Will you be my mom?

I need someone to take care of me.

I'll take care of all of you.

Damn it, lost one.

Come on.

Down here!

Come down!

Come on, down here!

Yeah, here!

Please, down here, down here, please!

Over here!

Help!

Yeah, down here!

Come on!

So many senseless deaths.


Hey, over here!

We're alive too!

Pick us up!

As soon as we get home, we gotta start writing that book.

We finally got something real to write about.

Nothing but the truth.

I'm gonna change it a bit to make it more dramatic.


I'd like to dedicate this next song to Verti, Assaf and Dash, who made the greatest book I've ever read.

I'm proud to call them my friends.

They saved me when I was at my lowest point, and I wouldn't be here today without them.

The Times review is out.

"Reality is exaggerated to the point of melodrama

"in this debut work.

"Edited and with a forward by Verti Sharpe, "Shaw and Shoaib paint a first-hand, "histrionic account of the Tides High Disaster

"that is dazzling, horrific, "and ultimately falls short of its grand ambition."

Well, it's a mixed to negative review, but they said it was dazzling.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, I think it's okay.

Come on, let's be happy about this.

I don't read the reviews.

Whatever.

They didn't like the more overblown writing, and I take responsibility for that, and I apologize.

I've learned my lesson.

Next time, I'll water it down so that it's shitty and more popular.

You went for it.

Maybe your next book will be better.

Totally.

With all of us working together, I'm sure we can find some tragedy in the world to go write about.

Oh, there's an obituary of Principal Grimm here.

He lost an eye while reading a pop-up book.

Look, there's a photo of him when he was young.

He was cute.

Lunch Lady Lorainne.

Delectable.

The book was corny as hell, but I liked it.

I liked the character that was me.

That's because you're wonderful.

We needed you, to survive.

Come inside, please.

You're a star.

Nah, you know me.

I'm not good at attention like this.

But, why?

I have to get back to work.

Doing what?

It's gonna be fall again soon.

All the freshmen are coming in.

They look so young to me every time.

The world's a barren and horrible place, isn't it?

These kids are the only hope left.

They have spirit.

They're all anxious, hungry,

and somebody's got to be there to feed them.