Nashville (1975) Script

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Now, after years in the making, Robert Altman brings to the big screen...

count 'em... 24 of your very favorite stars!

David Arkin, Barbara Baxley...

Ned Beatty in Nashville!

And the fabulous performances of Karen Black, Ronee Blakley...

Timothy Brown in Nashville!

Along with the spectacular Keith Carradine, Geraldine Chaplin... with Robert DoQui in Nashville!

And the exciting appearances of Shelley Duvall, Allen Garfield... and Henry Gibson in Nashville!

And the fantastic Scott Glenn, Jeff Goldblum...

Barbara Harris in Nashville!

Not to mention the terrific David Hayward, Michael Murphy...

Allan Nicholls in Nashville!

And the all-time great Dave Peel...

Cristina Raines, Bert Remsen in Nashville!

Plus the incredible Lily Tomlin...

Gwen Welles and Keenan Wynn in Nashville!

Be the first on your block to marvel at the magnificent stars... through the magic of stereophonic sound and living-color picture... right before your very eyes without commercial interruption.

Fellow taxpayers... and stockholders in America... on the first Tuesday in November... we have to make some vital decisions about our management.

Let me go directly to the point.

I'm for doing some replacing.

I've discussed the Replacement Party... with people all over this country... and I'm often confronted with the statement...

"I don't want to get mixed up in politics"... or "I'm tired of politics," or "I'm not interested."

Almost as often someone says, "I can't do anything about it anyway."

Let me point out two things.

Number one:

All of us are deeply involved with politics... whether we know it or not... and whether we like it or not.

And number two:

We can do something about it.

When you pay more for an automobile... than it cost Columbus to make his first voyage to America... that's politics.


That girl down there. Hold it! Hold it, everybody.

Honey, you gotta get her out.

Bob. Yes, sir.

I want to talk to Buddy.

Buddy?

Y-Yes, sir, Dad?

Buddy, who is that woman in there with the hat on?

She a friend of yours? Mr. Hamilton, I'm Opal.

I'm from the BBC, and I'm doing a documentary on Nashville.

You know I don't allow no people visitin' when I'm recording.

I want no recording equipment in that studio.

Buddy, escort the lady out. Yes, sir.

If she wants a copy of this record, she can buy it when it's released.

No, darling, I'm sorry. No strangers at all.

Mr. Hamilton, I'll be waiting outside for you.

We'll have a little interview.

I want to do another one. Jimmy, you count off.

I want to hear a little more Haven in this one.

Ah, there we are.

This is Studio B right here.

They're doing some gospel. Oh, how sweet!

A recording of some sort. Glenn, how are you?

Mind if we sit in? Come on in.

It's so little!

We'll be going down front so we'll get out of their way.

It's so pretty! I've been to all the recording studios in London.

They're always enormous and very impersonal.

This is so cozy.

Keep down so they can... Yes, of course.

So they can see what's going on.

There we are.

This is a choir... a black choir... from part of... from Fisk University here in town.

Good Lord!

The lady singing is... Is she a missionary?

No, she's not. She's a gospel singer.

She's the wife of our attorney.

I was making a documentary in Kenya... and there was this marvelous woman who was a missionary.

That's why I asked. She was sensational.

She was converting Kikuyus by the dozens.

She was trying to convert Masais. Of course, they were hopeless.

I mean, they have their own sort of religion.


Look at that. That rhythm is fantastic.

You know, it's funny. You can tell...

It's come down in the genes through ages and ages... and hundreds of years, but it's there.

Take off those robes... and one is in... in... in darkest Africa.

I can just see their naked, frenzied bodies... dancing to the beat of...

Do they carry on like that in church?

Depends on which church you go to.


Hold it, everybody.

Damn it, Bob.

What's the name of the piano player, Bob?

That's Frog. "That's Frog." He plays like a frog.

We'll try it again.

Jimmy, you count off.


Damn it to hell! Hold it, everybody.

Bob. Yes, sir?

What did you say the piano player's name was?

Frog. Yeah.

When I ask for Pig, I want Pig.

Now, you get me Pig, and then we'll be ready to record this here tune.

Yes, sir.

You get your hair cut. You don't belong in Nashville.


This is Bill Jenkins on special assignment... for Channel Two News here at Metro Airport.

We are awaiting the arrival of Barbara Jean... who has been away for treatment at the Baltimore Burn Center.

Already, prior to her arrival, around 3,000 Barbara Jean fans... and supporters are here.

They are being held inside the terminal by security police.

Ma'am, excuse me. Am I late for Barbara Jean's plane?

I don't think so, but they're not gonna let you out there. Thank you, ma'am.

Members of the Chamber of Commerce and other fans are on the way.

Also, it's reported Haven Hamilton will make an appearance here.

There is no question about being involved.

The question is, what to do?

It is the very nature of government... to strain at a gnat and swallow a camel.

As loyal citizens, we accept our take-home pay... understand most of the deductions... and even, to a degree, come to expect them.

However, when a government begins to force its citizens... to swallow a camel... it's time to pause and do some accounting.

Her plane has touched down. It's down the taxiway... and will be turning onto the ramp area... directly here in front of us at Metro Airport.

Could you pass me the crackers, please?

There you go. Thank you.

Miss, may I have... Hi!

A caramel sundae, please?

Honey, we ain't got no caramel sundae.

Butterscotch? We ain't got no butterscotch sundae.

Got a strawberry. Strawberries are always in season.

Fine, fine.

That's fine. Thank you. Good for you too.

Thank you. Then I'll have a strawberry sundae, if I may.

You got it. Thank you.

Sueleen, did you see what he did? One strawberry sundae!

Did you see what he just did?

He took the thing off the salt and threw it up in the air.

Why'd you do that?

What are you doin' in Nashville?

Oh, I live here. You do?

Hey, fellas, come here. I want you to see somethin'.

My wife and I...

My wife is sick, unfortunately. I'm sorry to hear that.

Oh, it's just one of those things that happens.

Happens in the best of families. Yeah.

I wrote me this real hot song. You wanna hear it?

It's called "I Never Get Enough."

Okay, listen. All right?


At any moment, Barbara Jean will be stepping out and will be greeted... by the Chamber of Commerce, as well as Mr. Sperry.

Mr. Sperry making his way to the aircraft now with a big wave.

Of course, he's the president of Barnett Enterprises.

We'll be talking with Mr. Sperry... How you doin'?

John Triplette?

You looking for me? I'm John Triplette. Oh!

How are you? Hey, John. How are you?

Those kids in those uniforms are terrific.

Hello. What's your name?

Del Reese. I'm sorry. Forgive me. Thanks for coming out.

It's a great idea. You mean the girls in the costumes?

Barbara Jean's still on the aircraft. We'll be awaiting...

Thousands of people have turned out at Metro Airport... to greet Barbara Jean on her arrival.

Haven Hamilton has just arrived, typically dressed in white... his white Jeep being driven today by his son, Bud.

Members of the Chamber of Commerce are going over to meet Haven Hamilton.

He's greeting some of his old friends, business acquaintances.

Autograph seekers are now making their way over.

Barbara Jean still is aboard the aircraft...

Hello, Martha. Hi.

How are you, Martha? I'm okay, but, uh...

Pardon me? Listen, uh, I've changed my name.

Okay. It's L.A. Joan from now on.

Let me get some cigarettes.

Your Aunt Esther wants to see you.

She's in the hospital... Wait a minute.

And she'd like to see... This guy's a rock star. Hang on.

Can I get your autograph? You're Tom, aren't you?

Tom, Bill, and Mary?

Jesus, you ought to stop that diet before you ruin yourself.

Do you believe this? They have our album here. Hey, how's it selling?

What's that? Bill, Mary, and Tom.

A little slow, but we sell mostly country.

I'm the handsome one in the front. I don't have my glasses on in the picture, but I...

Wait a minute! Hal Phillip Walker looks exactly like Connie White.

Now, Del, I like... I like the idea of bands.

I want you to listen to those little kids, honey.

I want you to know they practiced... every day after school for two hours... for a whole month just for this event.

Yes, that's so nice. Isn't that cute?

I think that'll cheer her up. Pearl, shut up.

Just like your mama, son. Yes, yes, I'm sure he is.

... tragically burned in an accident involving a fire baton.

She has now fully recovered. However, she's required to take...

Excuse me, Barnett. I got no time right now!

Jesus!

I just think they're so cute, Buddy.

Hello, hello. Testing. I wonder if this thing's on.

Hey, wait. Are you Tom of Bill, Mary, and Tom?

Yeah. What's your name? Jamie.

You thought of voting for Walker for president?

I don't vote for nobody. Oh, come on.

Just read it. He's got a fantastic platform.

How you doin', Sarge? Ya kill anybody this week?

Did you ever see such pretty girls in your life?

Someday you're gonna be big girls like your mommies... and you're gonna be lookin' for a nice, young, handsome man.

Come on, Buddy. You say hello.

My son Buddy, he just graduated from Harvard Law School... and we're tryin' to give him all the breaks we never got.

Buddy, say hello to the people. Hi.

Thank you, Buddy.

And thank you again for comin' here and makin' us all feel so at home.

Here she comes! Our Barbara Jean!

Come on. Get on the other side.

Here's our own Barbara Jean!

May I have a word, Barnett?

None of that shit. Come on. Come on.

Get up there. Come on.

Who do you think you are? Marlon Brando?

Barbara Jean, ladies and gentlemen!

Hi! Ah, look at that!

Thank you so much. Hi, sweetie, darling!

Hi, Bill. Hi, Mary. Where's Tom?

Take my bag? Sure.

You were supposed to meet us at the gate. Then let's go meet at the gate.

Norman, let's go to the limo. The limo is just outside.

Barbara Jean, for you.

Thank you, Haven. Right here for the photographer.

Thank you, Tennessee Twirlers, for coming out today... and thank you, Franklin High School Band.

I think you kids get better every year.


Oh, little beauty! Thank you so much!

Are you gonna ride into town with me or not?

Go on without me. I'm gonna wait, 'cause I think she's gonna sing.

Her? She ain't gonna sing. She don't sing unless she get paid.

I'd like to thank you... for coming out to greet me today.

It's great to be home. It's hot as a firecracker.

What's so funny about that?

Me and the boys are gonna be out at the Opry this week... and like my granddaddy always used to say... if you're down to the river, I hope you'll drop in.

Oh! Yes, that's sweet.

Who writes your material, darlin'?

Barnett, who are all those people inside?

It's just airport security, 'cause of all the hijackers.

Did they come to see me? They can see you pretty good.

Then I'd like to go in and say hello.

I believe Barbara Jean wants to go inside...

Barnett, I'm sorry, darlin'. To see the fans who were not able... to make it out here.

This was a little bit unscheduled. She's on her way down there... probably to greet some fans inside there.

Stepping down the walkway with Barnett. Watch out for the water.

Right behind, Haven Hamilton... and all the other friends, members, and, uh...

She's fallen! Harold, come on!

She's fallen somewhere down there.

If we can get down there... if we have enough cable.

Don't know how far we can make it.

Who do you think is running Congress?

Farmers? Engineers? Teachers? Businessmen?

No, my friends. Congress is run by lawyers.

A lawyer is trained for two things and two things only:

To clarify... that's one...

And to confuse... that's the other thing.

He does whichever is to his client's advantage.

Did you ever ask a lawyer the time of day?

He told you how to make a watch, didn't he?

Ever ask a lawyer how to get to Mr. Jones's house in the country?

You got lost, didn't you?

Congress is composed of 535 individuals.

Two hundred and eighty-eight are lawyers.

And you wonder what's wrong in Congress.

No wonder we often know how to make a watch... but we don't know the time of day.

No wonder it takes six or seven years...

What the hell is the matter with you?

Yes, I'm talking about replacement.

Replacing this lawyeristic, red-taped... and blank-taped government... with the yes-and-no language of farmers and teachers... engineers and businessmen.

I'm not pessimistic about this country.

She finally collapsed here on the sidewalk. Sort of a faint.

That's all we've been able to determine at this moment.

We interviewed Mr. Sperry. He said the same thing.

Haven Hamilton said the same thing as well.

That's about it for the moment from Metro Airport.

For Channel Two News, this is Bill Jenkins reporting.

Let's consider our national anthem.

Nobody knows the words.

Nobody can sing it.

Nobody understands it.

Yee-haw!

I suppose all the lawyers supported it... because a lawyer wrote the words... and a judge wrote the tune.

Careful, Buddy.

Read it carefully. Watch out for that truck.

And I say "read it" because I know you can't sing it.

Read all four verses, and you'll understand what I'm talking about.

Yes, sir, I would support work and vote for replacement.

Change our national anthem back to something people can understand... This is terrific, Norman.

Back to something that would make a light shine in their faces.

Hey, man, get off my car! Don't lean on my car!

I just got this goddamn thing fixed, so don't lean on it.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, God.

Hey, man, get the hell off my car!

You almost made me fall!

Great, thanks. Can I have one too?

Thanks a lot. Just keep those cards and letters comin' in, folks.

I feel faint. I'm gonna get us a Popsicle.

Just a minute. Hello?

All those mangled bodies. Would you go to that Popsicle truck... and get us a couple sweet ices?

There must be 20 cars piled up, one on top of the other, some of them upside-down.

Come on. I saw a leg sticking out.

This is gonna be a mess. I don't know how long it...

Can you just pull on through where the ambulance went?

You want to try it?

What's the matter, son? It's stalled.

What did you want? Popsicle? I wish my cameraman had been here.

He's never around. I need something like this for my documentary.

I need it. It's... It's America.

Those cars smashing into each other... and all those mangled corpses...

Just a minute. Just a minute.

Well, it's hard to really say.

You see... after they opened her up, they figured they ought to do an exploratory.

You know, give her kind of an overhaul.

Twenty dollars? Twenty dollars.

I'll give you five. No, I'll take 15.

You'll take 15? I'll give you ten.

I can think of no sensible reason why New York... must of necessity have 12,000... major crimes committed... for every 1,000 committed in Tokyo.

Excuse me. Yet these are the true victims.

Some very funny notions have developed in American politics.

Um, let me see.

Um, have you any children?

Yes, I have two children. I have a boy and a girl.

Oh, isn't that nice! How old are they?

Twelve and 11.

Do they want to be singers like their mummy?

Um, well, my children are deaf.

They're... They are deaf. They were born deaf.

Oh, my God, how awful!

It's so depressing. Now, just a minute. That's not so.

I wish you could see my boy. Oh, I couldn't.

He has the most incredible personality. It's the sadness of it.

What happened is, he made a million dollars on a flyswatter... because it had a red dot in the center.

Flyswatter? That's right. Just a red dot.

He was sittin' in a buffet, and he was eatin'... and he saw a woman, and she was swattin' flies.

And, uh, she... He said...

"What makes the difference in flyswatters?"

'Cause it has to do with the Industrial Revolution.

The thing with these country people is they have a real grassroots appeal.

Well, hell, they got fans. And they're the people that elect the president.

We're gonna do everything we can. You line up a lot of movie stars...

I think people here feel that movie stars are eccentric and crazy.

Communists. Well...

A lot of 'em are. It's been said, now.

Then I want to go to the Grand Ole Opry. Forget that.

'Cause I have to have my record... I don't like music.

I'm gonna go see what's goin' on. I have a gold record... and it needs to be signed. Get the hell away from my truck!

Goddamn it! Sons of bitches! Shit!

I say, could I please speak to Mr. Tommy Brown?

What? I'm sorry.

Is it possible to have a few words with Mr. Tommy Brown?

I'm from the BBC. I'm doing a documentary on Nashville.

What is the BBC?

British Broadcasting Company. Oh, English.

It was called "Wanda, Wander."

No, that song was called "Wonder, Wanda."

I don't really know. Thank you, thank you.

Goddamn it, it was "Wanda, Wander." It was "Wonder, Wanda."

"Wanda, Wander"! What difference does it make? It was a hit!

There's no breathing space.

What we need, first and foremost... is a commonsense approach.

Nothing complicated.

Is Mr. Brown going to... Will he be here soon?

Yeah, he's in the back changin'. He has to put his makeup on.

Whenever he's going to have an interview, he puts his makeup on... and likes to get all prettied up, you know?

That's nice.

He must be a marvelous person... to have all you lovely people working for him.

I know the problems in the South. I mean, I've heard of them.

Well, yeah.

He's a very liberal guy. That's lovely.

By the way, I'd like for you to meet his wife. This is Joy.

Mrs. Brown? Yes.

Today in America... with its unmatched resources... it is exceedingly ridiculous... a total absurdity... that any citizen with any ailment... mental or physical, should go medically unattended.

We're settin' up everything for you.

We got pictures the right height. Oh, the little bird again.

Isn't that beautiful? I remember when you gave that to me.

I remember I almost threw it out.

Good afternoon, girls.

I'd like you to wait outside the room a while... because I know Aunt Esther would like to fix herself up a little.

I want my dog. Where is my dog?

I just need one shot. I'm sorry. Could you excuse us?

Come on in, sir. How you doin', Howard?

I'm sorry. No press allowed.

We'll put these pictures above your head.

Delbert, I got no time. I know.

I just stopped by to see Barbara Jean.

How you doin'? How's lawyerin'?

Nobody pays me no mind. I'm just like another flunky.

Would you mind crankin' me up? More white carnations!

If I told him once, I told him twice.

Bud, this is a hospital! This ain't no construction site!

I am not the press. Go build another chair!

Goddamn it!

I am not the press. I am from the BBC.

Damned if I don't keep my pledge.

Look who's here... Mr. Brown. Glad you're here, but cut it short.

How do you do? Nice to see you.

You look as beautiful as a big, black butterfly.

I'm gettin' jealous. I'm gettin' jealous.

You better get out of here. He's gettin' mighty jealous.

I gotta sit myself up a bit. Hi.

I need to talk to you. You got it.

All right, everybody. Doctor's gotta talk turkey.

Barnett, there's somebody I want you to meet.

John Triplette from California. John Triple?

Triplette. Okay. All right.

He's a killer. Give us some good news.

Excuse us, please.

Are you a relative? What? No, no.

Can you tell me how she is? She's fine. It's her husband I'm concerned about.

Now, say somethin' good. You got two seconds. Fair.

Can I have a light? Excuse me?

Can I have a light? Yeah, sure.

The incident you described just now is very similar... to what you have here for your second admission... when it was diagnosed as some kind of intestinal disorder. - What's your name?

Bud Hamilton's my name.

Esther's awake, and she's dying to see you.

I'll be there in a minute, okay? I'm talking to someone right now.

I'm talking to someone. I beg your pardon.

That's my uncle. Your uncle?

I've got a sick aunt down the hall.

I just got in from Los Angeles a few hours ago.

I'm L.A. Joan. L.A. Joan?

What do you do?

Well, I know it sounds arrogant... but I'm on my way to town, if I ever make it... to become a country-western singer or a star.

Yeah? Yeah.

What are you gonna do if you don't?

If I don't? I don't know. I could always go into sales.

Like ladies' clothes? I don't know.

Well, I know all about trucks, so I'd go into trucking, I guess.

You're kiddin' me. No, I'm not kiddin' you.

I'm in a truck enough.

And I know how to fix motors and all that.

Nobody'd buy trucks from a girl. I been fixin' motors a long time.

They'd buy 'em from me 'cause I know all about motors.

Why do you say that? Because now...

See, what's happenin' is, if I can't sell trucks and I can't go...

Nobody'd buy a truck from a girl. I knew this would happen.

Don't say you saw me.

Hey, you haven't seen my wife, have ya?

She's sort of an ordinary-lookin' lady. Huh-uh.

Are you going into town? You're not one of them country singers, are ya?

No. Can you give me a ride? All right, get in. Thank you.

You look like a guy I was in the navy with.

He wouldn't take a bath. We had to pee in his bed to get him discharged.

Hi.

My name's Sueleen Gay...

and I'm here to sing you all a couple of songs tonight that I wrote.

And I sure hope you're gonna enjoy 'em, honey...

'cause I know I'm gonna enjoy singin' 'em to ya.

The first one I'm gonna sing tonight is called...

"Let Me Be The One."

Let's go.

Oh, what about your... your aunt and uncle?

Oh, it's cool. I can see them anytime.

What kind of car you got? I have a little... Here.

Martha!

And, uh... that... that being true...

I would suggest, on the basis of the first account...


How come you're not wearing the blue dress?

Because I didn't want to.

You're supposed to wear the blue dress when I wear this.

I don't want to dress like twins anymore. We're not twins. We're a trio.

Hi, young stud. Come on in, sit down... right over here.

Yeah! Whoo.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry to...

That's okay.

He looks like Howdy Doody.

Okay, this is, uh...

Right here at Deemens Den.

Hi, everybody. My name's Sheila. And my name's Patti.

And we're the Smokey Mountain Laurel.


Come on, Becky, let's go. It's gettin' late.

I gotta get up and go...

Sorry. Oh! Tom!

Yeah? Tom, hello.

Another one of his girlfriends.

I was looking for you. This chap told me you were in here.

Who are you? I'm Opal from the BBC. Hello.

Good evening, ladies.

You don't mind if I sit down for a little bit.

All right. I want to hear it some more... for my Misty Mountain Boys!

I got a couple announcements I wanna make.

We got some stars here tonight.

Can't be us. And one of 'em is...

Tommy Brown's back in town!

Tommy Brown, stand up and show it all off!

Oh, ain't he beautiful!

Tommy Brown's the whitest nigger in town!

It's gettin' late.

I'm very sorry. That marshmallow!

He oughta drink some of that milk! It fits his personality!

This is not typical of Lady Pearl's parlors, you understand.

It's not typical of Nashville. I hope you'll tell the other ones.

Hey, he's leavin'! The Oreo cookie's leavin'!

Calm down. You're drunk.

I'm drunk, but shit, he's still the whitest nigger in town... and I ain't gonna change my mind about that, I'll tell you right now.

Shit! Hey, where you goin', Tommy Brown?

Come on back here!

Hey, get your hands off...

Listen, boys! I got two guns here!

How'd we do, Trout? Not bad, girls.

Go sit down. I'll talk to you in a minute.

Send over a couple of beers.

Bear, how about a couple beers for the ladies, huh?

Honey, what's your name? Sueleen.

Sueleen? Sueleen Gay.

Sueleen Gay, you're on next.

Come on, Bunkie.

One, two, three, four. Un, deux, trois, quatre.

Testing. Testing. Un, deux, trois, quatre.

I gotta go to the bathroom. Wait for me here.

The kind of guys that go for this Hal Phillip Walker... longhairs and smoke cigarettes that look funny.

I heard this guy's an admitted homo.

and I'm here to sing y'all a couple songs I wrote.

First one I'm gonna do is called "Let Me Be The One."

That's awful.


You want a beer? No, thanks. This is business.

See, what I was wonderin'...

I'm makin' a demonstration album... at a recordin' studio... and, uh... Winifred!

What? You... Goddamn it, come back here!

Deemens Den. Is Trout around there?

Yeah, this is Trout. Listen, this is Del Reese.

We're gonna have a little fundraiser... and we need some help with some...

Talent? Yeah, talent. Right.

I tell you what I'm gonna do.

The fella I'm working with is here. I'm gonna put him on.

Maybe he can tell you exactly what we need.

John Triplette's his name. All right.

Uh, Trout. This fella's name's Trout.

Trout? Yeah.

Hello, Trout? Hey, John, how are you?

Fine. How are you? Fantastic.

As Del told you, we're putting a smoker together. Right.

I think next Monday night, hopefully.

What we need is a young lady to entertain the troops.

Hey, babes.

And then...

What are you tellin'? Huh? Mm-hmm.

Set the table, please.

Hey, babe, I'm sorry... you got stuck in that big traffic jam out there today.

I have got a saucy, saucy redhead...

Saucy? Who is dynamite.

Why, in fact, her name is "Suelynn" Gay.

Well, if she's half as provocative as her name, we're home free.

I'm sorry I sprang this dinner on you.

I asked the man if he wanted to come to dinner... and he said yes. And then one boy pushed me out.

Were you out there by yourself? Wasn't it hot?

Thought I was gonna burn up. It was terrible.

We got in the car, and I turned on the air conditioner.

Coach said, "Go in the water." I said, "Okay."

What you tellin', Jimmy? Talkin' 'bout swimming class.

He's telling me about swimming class. Oh.

Did you swim today? Did you learn anything?

Huh? Hush! Let him tell it.

Then the coach said, "Ready?"

I said, "Yeah. Oh, boy."

Then I went down to the diving board...

Whoo! And touched bottom.

And I kept going through. Walked on the bottom.

And then I come out.

Then I get two cards:

"Goldfish" and... and "Passed the test."

How about that?

They call you Goldfish?

Goldfish. That's it.

Oh, dynamite! Dynamite!

Sueleen, I'm so proud of you, baby.

Thank you. You knocked 'em out up there.

Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry. All the people were goin' crazy!

Darlin', you're outta sight! You are outta sight! Oh, my goodness.

Oh, that's beautiful. Honey, it takes an attitude to be a star.

What can I tell you? Do I get the job, then?

Honey, I got you a job while you were singin'.

You did? Oh! A friend of mine called.

Very heavy. There's a party Monday night.

Listen, the pay is not much... because it's a low-budget thing. I don't care about the money.

It's only $10. I don't care about the money.

This must be some sort of amateur night.

You're gonna be a star. I gotta make a phone call.

I'll be right back.

They are good, babe.

I can get that. You want me to get it?

That's all right. Go on. Where you goin'?

Telephone. Oh.

Mm! Hello.

Hi. Linnea? Mm-hmm.

I'm here. Who is it?

This is Tom.

Just a minute. I have something in my mouth. I was eatin' dinner.

You haven't changed a bit, have you?

Now, who is it? Tom. Don't you remember?

No, I don't believe I do.

We met in the control room at the recording studio... about two months ago.

Oh, yes. How are you? I'm fine. How are you?

I'm just fine. What are you doin' in Nashville?

I'm gonna do some recording. I'm here for a couple weeks.

I'd really like to see you.

Why don't you come out to the house? The children would love to meet you.

It's not exactly what I had in mind.

Well... Look, I find you very attractive, and I'd like to see you.

Well, I think it'd be fine if we had dinner some night here at the house.

You've never met my husband, Del, have you?

I see. You can't talk now. I'll call you later.

I'm going home now. I'll call you when I get there. Bye.

Uh, I'd like to...

Um...

Well, all right. I'll talk to you later. Thank you for calling.

He's done well in those primaries. He sure has.

That's the key to it.

Excuse me. Who was it, babe?

Oh, down at the recording studio.

I left some, uh, music down there.

What kind of a gun is it? A.38 Smith & Wesson police special.

Uh, this particular gun's a stainless steel gun.

Did you ever have to shoot it?

Of course, we have to shoot it to qualify on the range... but I've never had to kill anyone with it.

'Course, there's been occasions where I have had to use it to...


See ya later, alligator.

Am I too late? Well, Esther's asleep now.

She's looking forward to seeing you in the morning.

If the chairman of the board of your company... had been running your business... the way Washington has been running our business... you'd be asking a lot of questions... and you would find out what you already know:

We have some problems that money alone won't solve.

Now, I know something about money.

Anybody who grew up without it knows a lot about money.

I know more about money than some of the rich... because I never had any until I was 27.

I know something of what money can do... and more important...

I know something of what it can't do.

Does it make sense to let the petroleum industry... boost their prices at will... adding to an already staggering profit... Watch where you're going!

But tell the little filling station owner in his khakis... he can't charge one penny more? What's wrong with you, you dope?

To tax the salaries of people on poverty-level income...

I don't need that shit, you stupid... then turn around... and give back in food stamps... twice the amount of the tax.

If there's any cleaning up to be done... we're going to have to do it.

The Lord is not going to do the replacing... and the powers that be... are certainly not going to replace themselves.

That old truth remains:

There is no such thing as a free lunch.

Hello. If the books are to be balanced... we're going to have to balance them.

Yes, sir? You've got a room for rent?

Yeah, I'm Mr. Green. That's me. I'm Mr. Green.

I'd like to see it. What's your name again?

Kenny. Kenny Fraiser. All right, sir, right this way.

Right in the back. Go right through.

That's your room straight ahead there, Kenny.

My wife's been in the hospital... so the house is a little dusty, but there's clean sheets on the bed.

It's fine. It's like my room at home.

The toilet's down at the end of the hall. Fine.

You a musician? Yeah.

Well, now, my niece is interested in music.

Martha!

This here is Kenny. This is Martha.

Hi! Hi.

She's from California.

Uh, $13.50? That's right. $13.50 a week.

And you can have breakfast with me if you want.

Of course, you'll have to help wash the dishes. That's fine.

Let me put this down, and I'll pay you.

Good mornin'. Barbara Jean, time to get...

Excuse me. I must have the wrong room. Who are you? I think you do.

Come on, Barbara Jean.

Time to get up. Come on. Hi.

Good morning, Louise. Did you have a nice rest?

Yeah. I was just having a dream.

I know the political positions are laughing... but not quite as loud today as they were yesterday.

Del, are you... Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You want me to fry you an egg?

No, honey, I'm gonna hard-boil me a couple eggs.

All right.


I was there for about a year on a kibbutz.

I was feeling very romantic... about that kind of socialism at the time.

I thought I'd like to have a bash at it.

Hello. Can I talk to Linnea, please?

Del, I'm on the phone. This is Linnea. Okay.

How are you? Listen, I'm sorry I didn't call sooner, but...

Who is this? This is Tom.

Tom who?

Oh, come on.

Who is this? Tom who? This is Tom. Listen...

I don't know who you are, why you're calling, and I want you to stop.

Honey, you know you want to see me. I never said any such thing.

Don't you ever call here again, and I'm not foolin'.

I mean it. Don't you ever call here again!

What's goin' on? Hello? Linnea?

Hello?

Who was that, babe?

Just some crazy person been callin' here.

Next time, get on the phone and tell him you're gonna get the police.

Okay.

Come on.

Yeah, he wants that in the cadaver room.

How do you get outside, please?

You dial "9." Hi, Mr. Green.

Look at those flowers. Did you grow those?

Esther and I did, yes.

My niece here picked 'em. She's from California.

Oh, that's good.

They're so healthy. Let me check and see if she's awake.

I see no reason why I can't use the phone. May I see your credentials?

I'll be happy to show them to you. Hi.

Holy dog shit! Will you look at that?

Must be some friends of Buddy's.

Uh, Little Women. Little Women?

Ever since that Easy Rider movie, that's the bike everybody's been drivin':

Long, low, laid-back in the front.

They're so dangerous, aren't they? They are.

Over here at the Baptist Hospital, there's a whole ward of young boys... the cutest, best-lookin' boys you'd ever want to see... just paralyzed from the waist down.

Oh! Excuse me.

Thank you for the ride, darling.

Break a leg. Have you passed the bar yet?

Oh, yeah. Not that bar.

No, I know. Excuse me.

Well, well, well. Young Hamilton! How are you?

How are you? Fine, fine.

Give us a kiss, love.

You're a shy young man, aren't you?

Is your dad around? Uh, yes, but...

Do you think I could have... Later.

A little chat with him?

He's kind of tied up right now, but maybe you could...

Is your mum around? No, as a matter of fact, my mom is in Paris.

This is Bergman! I like it. It's kind of nice.

Pure, unadulterated Bergman! It's beautiful!

Do you live here? Yeah, we do.

We've been here for quite a while.

Lucky you! It's so gorgeous. I've never seen...

Of course, the people are all wrong for Bergman, aren't they? Oh, yeah.

Well, I suppose you're interested in horses.

Yeah, I like horses. Sure.

Honey, you should arrange for him to visit one of our horse shows.

Haven breeds those famous Tennessee Walkers you've heard about.

Oh, really? Oh, Mr. Triplette knows all about walkers.

That is not the kind of walker I had in mind.

That's very fast. We have to be.

She had this most horrible accident.

Hi, Marie. How are you? How are you?

And she got a lick on the head gettin' into a car... one of those tiny cars, her daughter's car.

This happened almost a year ago.

No one had any idea this was gonna develop into such a horrible thing.

Mr., uh, Triplette...

I'm real sorry ole Delbert told you...

Haven would appear at the political rally.

He knows better than that.

We never let Haven Hamilton take sides politically.

You understand we give contributions to everybody.

And they are not puny contributions.

Only time I ever went hog-wild around the bend... was for the Kennedy boys.

Tsk. But they were different.

Yes, ma'am, they were. That's a fact.

Excuse me a minute.

Thank you, Brenda.

Is this party somebody's birthday, or...

No, this is, uh... I'm sure you've seen Haven Hamilton.

No, I never heard of him. He's been a country-western star...

Do we get out here?

Let me, uh...

Let me get that door.

Listen, I wanted to ask...

Would it be all right if I asked Mr. Gould a question?

You want to ask me something? We're gonna be riding back with you.

Could we wait until then?

I just wanted to know what you were doing in Nashville.

Just coming to a party. What are you doing here in Nashville?

I'm stuck here. Oh, yeah?

We'll see you in a bit.

Haven is singing tonight at the Grand Ole Opry... and this is just a previous sort of party...

Oh, yeah? For his friends.

He's got a lot of photographers here.

What are you doing here, anyway?

I came on a date, and now I'm goin' to the Grand Ole Opry.

How you gonna go to the Grand Ole Opry?

"How"? Yeah. You came with a date.

Is he gonna take you? Huh? No.

They left.

No, I'm promoting a movie, but I'm not making one.

Are you a personal friend of Mr. Hamilton's? Yeah, we're very good friends.

No, I'm not a singer. I'm a businessman.

I take care of all Dad's business.

You're a businessman? Yeah.

With that face? You can't be a businessman.

Yeah, I... I work with, uh, Dad's company.

I take care of his records and all of his business.

Anything that comes in comes through me.

Do you like it? Yeah, it's great. It really is.

Dad's wanted me to do that all his life.

Haven, listen, I'd be the last guy in the world... to try and change your mind about something you don't want to do... but I'd like to explain a couple things about what we're trying to do... in this campaign before you discount it altogether.

And somehow the blood... began to drain into behind her eyeball... and the pressure caused her eye just to bulge out.

It was all red. It was just awful-lookin'.

Everybody thought she was gonna lose her eye.

We still don't know how it's gonna come out.

I don't know how you're gonna feel about this... but, uh...

Walker thinks that... you'd make a fine governor in this state.

He thinks the time's right.

He thinks the people of Tennessee love you.

He knows they do. He knows how you feel about them.

And he wants you to know that... should the time come you want to run... he'll be there with his organization to back you all the way.

Elliot Gould, Delbert and Linnea Reese.

Del Reese. Mrs. Reese.

And Mrs. Dorster. Elliot Gould.

You gonna be at Opryland tonight?

Well, I... I hadn't thought I would be.

Well, I'm gonna be at Opryland tonight.

Oh, well, sure, I'll be there. Sure.

Yes, I guess you will.

And that's when I'll give you my decision.

Well, thank you so much for thinking about it.

Terrific.

Is Haven around? Yeah, right around the corner.

Would you check and see if it's all right if we come?

Yeah. I see him with other people. Thank you, Del.

Do you want to be a singer? Look at me.

Look at me. I think everybody...

Dad wouldn't hear of it. He really wouldn't. He...

But you want to be a singer.

I know him. That's Elliot Gould. This guy?

He's a really well-known actor. Oh, yes, with the curly hair.

Yeah. He was married to Barbra Streisand.

He's grossin' real big. You gotta be kiddin' me.

No. That girl that sang "People."

I just shook the man's hand like he was somebody off the street.

Delbert! Go over there and bring him on over. Yes, sir.

Oh, Delbert! We all walk on the street, Delbert.

Oh, Delbert.

Listen, you all come over. Haven wants to meet you right away.

I didn't realize who you were when we first were introduced.

You wrote a song?

Yeah, I wrote one song in my life, and, uh...

I'd love to hear it. Are you sure?

Mm-hmm. Okay.


It's Elliot Gould!

Well, let me meet the movie star!

Lady Pearl, Elliot Gould.

Haven Hamilton. Well, how do you do, Mr. Gould?

So nice to meet you. Welcome to Nashville and to my lovely home.

Elliot! Elliot Gould! What brings you here? Oh, hello.

Hello! I'm just, uh...

How are you? You look marvelous!

Is this another unexpected guest? I'm Opal from the BBC.

Remember the Cannes Film Festival?

No, of course you wouldn't. How silly of me.

What are you doing...

What am I doing in Nashville? Excuse me. I'm sorry.

I'm doing this documentary... Excuse me, but Mr. Gould does not give interviews.

I don't know who you are or what you're doing here... but I will not tolerate rudeness in the presence of a star.

Two stars.

Just take her, Delbert. Thank you very much. Good-bye.

Mr. Hamilton! It's gonna be all right.

No, listen... Who are you?

Well, that's the price of success, I guess.

Certainly is.

Go get a Goo Goo, friends, and settle back... for 30 of the goodest minutes in radio... the Goo Goo Grand Ole Opry!

It's sent your way by the makers of Goo Goo... the goodest candy bar in the world... and King Leo pure stick candy, the candy that roars with flavor.

Now a big welcome, if you please, for the Goo Goo man of the hour...

Tommy Brown!


Okay, this is it.

This is it, all right. Yeah, all right.

It's the new one! Yeah, I know.

It's the new one, all right. Have you got the time?

Sure. Yeah. It's, uh...


All right!

I'm Del Reese, and I'm goin' back to Haven Hamilton's group.

Remember me? This young lady's with me here.

I'm being interviewed by her... and I really gotta go to the bathroom.

Oh, yeah! Thank you!

Thank you, Tommy. Beautiful job, as always.

Say, Harold Weakly, have you been on vacation yet?

Gosh, no. I've been busier than a puppy... in a room full of rubber balls.

And if you're like me, all that hustling and bustling... makes you want to sit down and let the world go by... while you enjoy a Goo Goo candy cluster.

Hey, Steve. She's with me. Excuse me. Can I help you?

I'm with these people here. Do you have a backstage pass?

A pass? They didn't need a pass.

You need a pass to go backstage.

Go get a Goo Goo, the South's favorite piece of candy for 62 years.

You ready to do the song? Right. Okay.

I wouldn't worry about killin' 'em. They're already dead.

Yes, thank you. You're lucky to be alive.

Haven Hamilton!

Yeah.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

Well, I want to thank you for that wonderful, warm welcome.

And I'm sure you meant to share it with... with Bud Hamilton, my son, who's here.

Stand up, Bud.

Isn't he somethin' else?

Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed.

God bless you, and thank you so much for that warm welcome.

How tall is that guy? Who?

Today I'd like to do a special treat for you... Haven.

A brand-new song. Don't ever ask him that, John.


That's funny, because... Oh, there's Connie White!

How are you, honey?

You know what? You remember you signed my album?

Well, thank you for coming to the show.

I have a song I wrote. I'll give you a call tomorrow.

That's fine. We'll just chat, you know, and...

You remember what I wrote on the program? Will you remember?

"I'm your friend. Connie White." I like your dress. I'm gonna get one too.

But I like the gold one with the be... you know, when you... when you have no waist.


Thank you. Thank you.

He's got the entire galaxy on the back of his shirt. Thank you so much.

And now I'd like to do a special old favorite... the song that got me started in this business... that's been so kind to me... a song you've loved through the years... and one I'm sure you're gonna love tonight.

Thank you.


Well, now, Wilton's goin'!

Come on, Wilton! Let's hear it for Wilton!

You gettin' ready, Joe?

Now everybody's goin'!


Yes, sir!

Well, thank you. Thank you, and God love you.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Of course, we want to send very special wishes... and greetings to our own Barbara Jean.

I know most of you read... that she collapsed out at the airport.

She's in the hospital.

She's in Vanderbilt Hospital recuperating... and Barnett tells me she really cried real tears... because she couldn't be here with you tonight.

But I hope you'll send some letters and best wishes and prayers to her.

That's Vanderbilt Hospital, Nashville, Tennessee 27322.

And you tell her Haven told you to write.

Now, as a special stand-in for her... we have her dear friend Connie White... who got out of the dentist's chair this morning... where she was having some root-canal work... and came all the way out here to sing for you.

Miss Connie White, who's a friend not only of Barbara Jean's... but a friend of yours and mine.

A wonderful singer in her own way...

Miss Connie White!

Come on out, Connie!

Hi, Del. How are you? I want you to meet John Triplette.

You look so good. Wonderful!

Isn't she lovely, folks? Isn't she beautiful?

We might want to talk.

We'll talk about it later. Nice to see you.

Well, who do we have here?

What is your name, honey? Paul Harris.

Paul Harris.

He's 13, he said. And what's your name, honey?

Last time I saw a dress like that, I was headin' for the junior prom.

You boys havin' a good time tonight?

The girl fell out of the car.

I want you to study real hard, because just remember... any one of you can grow up to be the president.


Turn that off.

Okay. One more minute, darlin'.

Right now. She'll be through in a moment.

I want you to turn it off right now!

It bothers me.

It bothers me too, but I gotta listen, don't I?

Why? Come on, now, honey.

I gotta go to the King of the Road and thank her for you.

Thank her? I gotta know what songs she sang.

You can ask anybody. You can call.

You can send flowers. You can send a message.

Come on. Don't get upset, now.

You're makin' me ruin my nail-polish job.

Do I tell you how to sing, darlin'? Hmm?

Have I ever told you how to sing a song?

That ain't the point. I know why you're goin' over there.

Don't tell me how to run your life. I've been doin' pretty good with it.

You go... Wh...

Let's calm down. We're gettin' on each other's nerves.

You're goin' to the King of the Road so you can hobnob with everybody.

So I can do what? "Hobnob"? I ain't got no friends.

I gotta sit here in this goddamn hospital.

They're all gonna talk about how I'm a nut. I ain't doin' no hobnobbin'.

Now, whoa, whoa, whoa.

"Barbara Jean had another collapse."

You know what? While you're at it... why don't you take her some of my flowers?

Are you through? No, I ain't through.

Are you through, darlin'? Take her this nice black one. That'll cheer her up.

Why don't you try these? Are you through?

And these. I said, are you through?

And why don't you try these? And this...

Are you through, I said? Are you through...

Are you goin' nutsy on me?

'Cause I won't stand for that, Barbara Jean.

Huh? You havin' one of them nervous breakdowns again?

Huh? No.

You could've fooled me, 'cause it looks like you're ready for it.

You just settle down and shape up. You understand?

The only reason I'm goin' over there is 'cause I love you.

I don't love to go over there and hobnob with them phonies.

Why do you make me raise my voice to you?

Why do you put us both through this?

Are you all right?

Come on, now. Let's have a little smile for Barnett.

I'm tired of this place. Come on, now.

Come on, now. Get up.

You help me, I help you. All right? Come on, now.

Come on.

Now, where's Barnett goin'?

Where am I goin'? Hmm?

King of the Road. And why am I goin' there?

To see Connie. And why am I doin' that?

To thank her for singin' at the Opry.

Who am I doin' that for? You're doin' it for me.

That's right.

Now, I'm walkin' out now.

What do you say? You say "bye-bye."

Bye.

Bye-bye. Bye.

Barnett?

Hello, Ben. Hi.

Aren't they wonderful? So marvelous.


What are you upset about?

She's really late.

Well, she's not that late. No, she's late.

Thank you. He's right over there.

I thought you were very, very good tonight.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

She sounded beautiful. She looked beautiful.

Well, Sue, I didn't expect to see you.

I wanted you to meet Julie Christie. Well, excuse my back.

So nice to see you. Did you see Doctor Zhivago?

She the one that got off the train? Will you be here a while?

No, just passing through. Please sit down.

Do sit down and have a drink with us. We're not staying.

You're English, aren't you? I could tell.

Look at her. Isn't she lovely?

This is such a coincidence. I'm Del Reese.

Yes. I was talkin' about the Christy Minstrels just this mornin'... and now we have Julie Christie here.

I met you with Peter Finch. Oh, yeah?

You won't sit down and stay? No, thank you.

Julie has a friend at the Exit/In. I hope your stay is very nice... and I hope you'll remember what film facilities we have in Nashville.

Oh, yeah, sure. Thank you. Good to see you.

Have a lovely evening. Good-bye. Bye-bye.

Nice to see you. Well, isn't that an honor?

What a surprise. Julie Christie. Who's Julie Christie?

"Who's Julie Christie?" She's a famous star. She's won the Academy Award.

Oh! No, I'm not kiddin'.

She got it for one of those pictures. I don't know which one.

She's done so many. Isn't he a gem?

He's got the worst sense of humor. No, she's lovely.

Come on. She can't even comb her hair.

Oh, you've got a Hal Phillip Walker button.

No, it's Kennedy. Isn't that rather ancient?

How strange! I thought everybody in the South didn't go for Kennedy.

It's John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

Well, he... he took the whole South... except for Tennessee, Florida, Kentucky.

And there's a reason he didn't take Tennessee.

But he got 481,453 votes... and the asshole got 556,577 votes.

I just can tell. It's something...

It's the way she looks at me.

You know that feeling you get that there's somethin' else going on?

And if I do a performance when I'm too tired, it doesn't have...

Hey, y'all. Hi, Barnett. How are you, Connie?

Now, the problem we got here... is anti-Catholicism.

These dumbheads around here, they're all...

Baptists and whatever, I don't know.

Even to teach 'em to make change over the bar... you gotta crack their skulls... let alone teach 'em to vote for the Catholic... just because he happens to be a better man.

Here, this is just somethin'... somethin' that Barbara Jean told me to pick up for you.

You shouldn't have. I know, but she told me.

I told her I shouldn't have. Did you get the flowers we sent?

Thank you.

Appreciate it.

Thank you very much. As most of you might have noticed... we have a celebrity with us tonight.

If we get our hands together, we might can get a song.

Miss Connie White. From the goodness of her heart.

What do you want, a few bucks?

Huh? You holdin' out for somethin' better?

She's a real sweetie pie.

Thank you very much.

That's what I love about this place. Can you see me? I can't see you.

That was a nice gesture. I'm gonna sing something y'all know.

What was a nice gesture? Join me on the choruses.

Don't seem to be appreciated, do it?

"Rolling Stone."

Thank you.


Everybody!

And all I remember the next few days was...

I was just lookin' at that TV set and seein' it all... seein' that great fat-bellied sheriff... sayin', "Ruby, you son of a bitch."

And Oswald... and her in her little pink suit.

Here's the best. Here's Vassar.

And then comes Bobby.

Oh, I worked for him.

Don't you think we... I worked here. I worked all over the country.

I worked out in California, out in Stockton.

Bobby came here and spoke, he went down to Memphis... and then he even went out to Stockton, California... and spoke off the Santa Fe train at the old Santa Fe depot.

Oh... he was a beautiful man.

He was not much like... uh, John, you know.

He was more puny-like.

But all the time I was workin' for him...

I was just so scared.

Inside, you know? Just scared.

Haven, do you think we could get Connie out to the rally?

Connie White and Barbara Jean never appear on the same stage together.

Connie can replace Barbara Jean, but that's it.

As for Haven Hamilton, well...

I'll appear wherever Barbara Jean appears.

I got a good mind to take you outside. With my wife in the hospital, you puttin' that shit on me?

Calm down, Barnett. Calm down, enjoy the show.

Barnett's angry. Okay.

I think she's having an affair here. I really do.

You are way, way off.

Are you kidding?


I love you.

I love you.


And on the profession of your faith...

I baptize you, my sister... in the name of the Father and of the Son... and of the Holy Ghost.

Amen.


is on the same floor with Barbara Jean.

in the service too.

Yes, sir. Oh, not the army. It was the navy.

We lost him in the South Pacific. We don't know how.

Sorry to hear that, sir.

World War I I. Yes, sir.

I'm wandering in a graveyard.

The dead here have no crosses... nor tombstones, nor wreaths to sing of their past glory... but lie in rotting, decaying... rusty heaps... their innards ripped out... by greedy, vulturous hands... their vast, vacant skeletons... sadly sighing to the sky.

The rust on their bodies... is the color of dried blood.

Dried blood.

I'm reminded of... of an elephant's secret burial ground.

Yes.

Cet air de mystère.

Cette essence de I'irréel.

These cars are trying to communicate.

O cars, are you trying to tell me something?

Are you trying to convey some secret... What? What? Excuse me?

Oh, excuse me.

I thought I was completely alone.

How embarrassing! Oh, you're a musician!


A round of applause for Miss Daisy Hoy.

Miss Albuquerque.

Hi, Frog.

This is with gestures.

Miss Jill Brown on the track in number 78.


You wanna talk about yesterday?

Get up, goddamn it!

You fucker!

You wanna talk about yesterday?

Do you wanna talk about yesterday or not? What are you...

Shit. Come out of there!

You leave me alone!

Come out of there! Come on!

Look, I know what's... Come on!

For Christ's sake, what... Now...

What are you doing? You wanna talk about yesterday or not?

Oh, that's terrific. Hey, that's great. Hey, terrific.

It's great. Oh, thanks. My turtle. Thanks a lot.

Look, just relax!

Look, I know what's goin' on.

Great. House detective.

Bill, hi. I'm John Triplette.

Am I early? I called you this morning.

Oh, the guy from TV. Yeah. How are ya? Come on in.

Thank you. Sure.

Just... We're just cleanin' up here.

You know, the... Sunday morning blues.

Would you hold this? Sure.

Thanks. Let me just move this over here.

Is this your new album? Yeah. That's our only album.

It's a very good one, though. I've heard it.

Oh, thank you. It's terrific.

I'm really sorry about the mess. That's all right.

You oughta see my room.

We had a little party last night. Had a pretty good time too.

Uh... I wanted to, um... tell you about what we're trying to do with this show.

Can I get you a drink? No, thanks.

I could call down. I don't want to take up your time.

I just want to tell you a little bit about what we're trying to do.

I know you're astute politically, and I'm certainly not here to sell you a bill of goods.

Don't care. Don't care about politics. No politics? Okay, great.

Let me tell you, then, I've got a problem... that I think could work to your advantage.

As you know, this redneck music is very popular right now... and I've got an awful lot of these local yokels... on the bill singing...

Your basic country folk. Country crapola. Right.

So I think, uh...

What I'm going for is a broader appeal.

Which is where we would fit in. More than just this Southern thing.

And I think that a really hip group like yours... could walk off with the evening.

Yeah. Probably the only rock group on the...

Absolutely, yeah. Sounds good.

Sounds inviting. Yeah.

And I think you do get a lot of... a big audience from these country guys.

Is this just network, or is it...

It's better than network. It's syndicated.

They'll be showing it for a year and a half.

Your glasses, sweetheart. Oh, thanks.

This is my wife, Mary. This is John Triplette.

Sit down, dear. Go ahead.

He's, uh... he's the fella from the television show... that they're doing for Hal Phillip Walker.

That political thing going on. He's offered us a spot.

You're doing some great promotion on that guy. All those buttons and...

Thank you. I'm trying. And bumper stickers.

Anyways, we got a great time spot on this gala... and we're gonna walk away with the show, John says.

We can't vote for him because we're registered Democrats.

And besides, he's a little crazy, isn't he?

Well, they're all a little crazy.

I'll drink to that. That's the name of the game.

But I think the thing you should consider is your future.

It would give you a great shot.

But it doesn't make any difference. We're registered Democrats.

Well, I'm a registered Democrat!

The only reason we're registered Democrats... is because your father's a registered Democrat... and his father's a registered Democrat.

Tom's a registered Democrat, and he wouldn't do it.

Hi, Tom. Hi, Norman. How you doin'?

Good. I'm sure glad you called. Is there anything I can...

Sit down. Okay.

You don't have any speckled birds, do you? What? Oh.

You know, LA turnarounds. Uppers.

Uh, no, no, I, uh...

But I know where to get some grass.

No, thanks. I don't need any grass. Okay.

Uh, can I ask you a question? Mm-hmm.

Is there something... Are you angry at Bill?

No. Oh.

'Cause I, uh... You know, I, uh...

Bill and Mary and you and, uh...

Well, Bill... I mean, Bill seems to be, um...

Uh...

I'm just confused. Mm.

Uh...

Here, why don't you write yourself a hit? Okay.

Hello. Hi. Can I talk to Cherry, please?

She's in bed with R.Y. You wanna talk to R.Y?

I'd rather talk to her, if I could. Who is this?

This is Frank, one of the cooks at the restaurant. Are you a Jehovah Witness?

Does it make sense that the churches... should remain untaxed on their vast holdings of land... and corporate investments?

Does it make sense that a multimillion-dollar income... should go untaxed year after year?

No, all will not be easy... but we will bask in the satisfaction... of having done what we should have done.

And if we don't get it done today... we may run out of tomorrows.

The buses!

The buses are empty... and look almost menacing... threatening, as so many yellow dragons... watching me with their hollow, vacant eyes.

I wonder how many little black children and white children... have yellow nightmares... their own special brand of fear for the yellow peril.

I can't have... I can't start...

Damn it! It's got to be more... positive.

No, more negative. Start again.

Yellow is the color of caution.

No.

Yellow is the color of cowardice.

Yellow is the color of sunshine.

And yet I see very little sunshine... in the lives of all the little black children and white children.

I see their lives, rather, as a study in grayness... a mixture of black and...

Oh, Christ, no. That's fascist. Oh!

Yellow, yellow, yellow. Yellow fever.

I think we'll be able to talk about it. They're checkin' out now.

Get together with him before he leaves. What about the place?

It's not bad at all. Think it'll work out?

Yeah. It's got this bizarre stage that drops out of the ceiling.

I know. Have you seen it?

They're gettin' out this mornin'.

The place is very confused. Bye-bye!

Wait a minute. Here we go. Uh, Barnett?

Yes? Phone's for you.

Is it important, or what? Bye, girls.

Hello. Hello, Barnett. John Triplette.

Oh, are you... Are you going...

Mr. Green, how are you? I'm goin' home.

I'm glad to hear that. Thank you. How is Mrs. Green?

She's fine, and she's gonna be thrilled I saw you again.

Give her my very best. And is she takin' her vitamin E?

Got 'em right here. All right. Good for you.

You take care, darlin'. Bye-bye. Unbelievable.

All right, come on. Let's get her on there.

We got to go with those white horseshoes, huh?

We're gonna live with those for infamy.

Take that on the other elevator.

Didn't the doctor get ahold of you?

I'm really sorry I have to tell you this.

Mrs. Green expired this morning.

What?

Mrs. Green died this morning.

Wait right here. Let me go get the doctor.

Mr. Green?

Mr. Green, you know, my mama saved her life.

They used to live next door to each other. My mama put out the flames.

She always loved Barbara Jean more than anything.

She's still keepin' a scrapbook on her.

The only thing she said to me when I joined up was...

"Son, when you're doin' your travels, I want you to see Barbara Jean.

Don't say nothin' about me. Just see Barbara Jean."

So that's what I been doin'.

Now I'm gonna go over to Opryland and hear her sing.

Give my best to your wife, now.

Let me turn this... Wait a minute. Don't laugh.

I... Let me... Just...

I have a theory about political assassination.

You see, I believe people like Madame Pearl... and all these people here in this country who carry guns... are the real assassins.

Because, you see, they stimulate other people... who are perhaps innocent... and who eventually are the ones who pull the trigger.

Mom? Kenny? Where are you, Kenny?

I'm in Nashville. How are you? I've been so worried.

There's no reason to worry. I haven't been able to sleep.

I had to take some NyQuil so I could go to sleep, you know?

Puts you right out. Did it help?

Yeah, it did. Where are you staying in Nashville?

I'm staying at a rooming house. Who you talkin' to?

To my mother. Who are you talking to, Kenny?

A girl that lives in the rooming house. A girl that lives...

Who owns that rooming house? Her uncle.

A man owns the rooming house? It can't be very clean.

Don't be silly. I bet the sheets aren't clean.

In the South you can pick up this parasite...

Joan, put that down, please! Kenny, listen...

Just a minute. Just wanted to look at your fiddle.

Kenny! You can get this parasite fungus in the South.

It's difficult to get rid of. When are you coming home?

I don't know. A couple of weeks. You left your blue suit in the closet.

I don't need my blue suit. I would really like you to get home as soon as you can.

I'm... been a little... Mother, just listen to me.

Kenny, don't you talk to me in that tone of voice.

I love you too, Mama.

I really do. I'll see you soon.

Bye-bye.


Let's find Barnett. I hope he's not in a bad mood.

Hey, Barnett. I'm obliged to you, but...

Hey, Barnett. What do you want now?

This guy wants her to do four shows. What do you want?

Don't let her do too much. How you hangin'?

You feelin' better she's better? Yeah, I feel swell.

We gotta talk to you. We're gonna do a show.

Okay? John's doing this show.

Haven's gonna do it. We want Barbara Jean to headline it.

Unbelievable. Now wait a second.

I wish they wouldn't rush us. Get a shot.

It's for this candidate, Hal Phillip Walker.

We don't want her to make any political statement at all.

What do you think her bein' there's gonna be?

Ain't that a political statement? People haven't seen her.

No! No, fellas. Don't take it personal.

No. No politics, no government, no nothin'.

All right? Okay? All right.

I heard you all out. Hello, boys. How's it goin'?

I believe I met you before in the hospital.

Look at that. Didn't Jewel show you how to do her hair?

Come on, darlin'. How's it goin'?

No pictures. I'm all excited. A little rushed, but...

How do you feel? Great.

I told the band you're gonna start off with the cowboy song.

Forget it. No, just leave it to me.

He's crazy. He can take a flying leap.

I'm gonna stay after him like a rodent, man.


Thank you. Thank you.


Have you been in Vietnam?

Yes, you have. I can tell by your face.


Was it awful?

It was... It was kind of hot and wet.


Thank you.

I want to tell you all a little secret you might not know... and that is that last night I thanked my lucky stars... that I could be here at all to sing for ya.

I heard on the radio this cutest little boy, nine years old... and you know how a deejay'll play a tune... and ask everybody to phone in how they like it?

I was listenin' to it, and they asked for callers to call in.

This little nine-year-old called in. The song had voices in the background... like the way they use backup voices these days... soundin' like little munchkins?

The deejay said, "How old are you, son?"

The boy said, "I'm nine, and I think it's gonna be a hit."

The deejay said, "Why?" "Because it had those chipmunks in it."

And I thought that was so cute because I can sing like a munchkin myself... and I'm real fond of The Wizard of Oz.

Plus, I live, you know, just a ways out here... off of Interstate 24 on the road to Chattanooga... so you can see why I kinda related to that.

I think me and the boys are gonna strike up another tune. Let's go, boys.

Three, four, one, two.

I think there's a storm.

Seems like it's a-brewin'.

That's what my granddaddy used to say all the time...

Once he got deaf... he never talked much no more.

Except sometimes he'd say, "Oh, gosh"... or "Oh, durn it" or "My word."

My granny, she'd go around clickin' her teeth to the radio all day.

Boy, was she a lot of fun, and cooked always... my favorite, roast beef, and she was a sweetheart.

She raised chickens too. She, uh...

In fact, did you ever hear a chicken sound?

You know how chickens go?

Here, chick, chick, chick, chick. Here, chick, chick, chick, chick.

Anyway, I guess we'd better strike up this tune before it's too late.

Okay, boys. Three, four, one, two.

I ever really got was when Mama...

My grandma... she's the one who clacked her false teeth to the radio.

She taught my mama how to sing, and Mama taught me.

One time she took me, 'cause we was gonna get a new Frigidaire.

She took me to the Frigidaire store where the man was advertisin'.

This record was goin' 'round... and my mama told him I knew how to sing.

He said, "If she learns this tune, I'll give y'all a quarter."

So Mama and I went home...

And then what happened? Let's see, I think... Uh, yeah.

We went home... and I learned both sides of the record in half an hour.

We went back and pranced in real fancy and told him I'd learned 'em... and he said, "Let me hear"... so I sang him both sides of the record instead of one.

So he gave us 50 cents, and we went across the street and had us a soda.

Ever since then, I been workin'. I don't...

I think ever since then I been workin' and doin' my...

Come on, come on. Supportin' myself.

Anyway... Hey, hey. Hey, hey.

Am I all right? I'm gonna get you some lemonade.

Am I all right? You're fine. It's the microphone.

I ain't done. I know.

I ain't done. Go get some... glass of water.

Boys, help her off. You'll come back. Okay, darlin'?

Thank you!

All right. Watch the wire.

All right. Okay.

Aw, come on. Have a heart, now.

Thank you!

Come on, now. It's just too soon.

All of you must know... Come on.

You didn't mean that, did you? That little girl's just come out of the hospital.

You know that girl just come out of the hospital.

I'm sorry. That little girl's in there cryin' her eyes out...

'cause she didn't want to disappoint you.

Y'all show up at Centennial Park tomorrow at the Parthenon.

You'll see her for free as our guests. How's that?

All right? Okay, let's hear a welcome.

A get-well welcome for Barbara Jean. Let's hear it. Come on!

Ingrates. All they are is ingrates.

I got trapped out there, and you guys know it.

I want some ground rules right now. You name it.

She's gonna sing first, right? Right.

She's gonna be off before that man even shows.

Fine. Whatever you want.

Never should've brought her here. Any way you want it.

No paraphernalia, no literature being circulated. You understand?

And never, at any time, is she to be associated with Hal Phillip Walker.

Hello? Hey.

Guess who.

Linnea? Yes, it's me.

Hi. This is Tom.

Listen, I'm playing a gig tonight downtown. You want to come and meet me?

It's at a place called the, uh...

No Exit, or the Exit...

Exit Out, or somethin'.

Anyhow, it's right across the street from Friday's, on Church Street.

You know where that is, don't you?

Anyhow, I'll be there at 8:00, and, uh... why don't you meet me there?

Okay? Um...

Driver, could I have a wee bit more champagne?

It's Norman. Oh.

Norman, yes. Norman. Of course.

He doesn't like to be known as a driver.

Oh. Thank you so much, Norman.


Have you ever been to the ladies' restroom here? No.

I'm stuck here at the Exit/In with no place left to go.

I'll have a cider. Apple cider?

Yes. Thank you. Put it on my bill.

On another bill? Yeah.

Uh, all right. And would you put it in a wine glass, please?

Put it in a wine glass and put it on my bill.

Traveling in cozy, close quarters...

I mean, you sort of have to camp in one room.

Well, Mary and I camp in one room. Obviously, yes...

Tom camps in a lot of rooms. I shouldn't...

My name's Wade Coolidge. What's yours?

Um, Linnea is my name.

Well, shall I say that Tom and I, um...

You sang together? No, I mean... we sort of got to know each other, um... in the biblical sense, shall we say.

You went to church? I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry. This is dreadful.

But he is so attractive, I was wondering...

I shouldn't be asking you. I should really be asking Mary.

You went to bed with him, right?

Oh, yeah. I thought you understood that.

Well, I shouldn't...

Where did you go to bed with him?

Listen, we got a special treat tonight.

A friend of mine is in town cuttin' an album.

That's you. Tom Frank is in the audience.

Tom? Speak of the devil!

He's agreed to come up and do a couple of numbers.

Let's make him feel at home. Tom Frank!

Come on!

Right.

Goddamn it!

I haven't seen him for more than two minutes in three days. - Thank you.

As y'all may remember, I used to be part of a trio. "Used to be"?

I been hidin' from 'em all week, but they found me tonight... so we might as well have them up here too.

Bill and Mary. Lovely!

Yes, you must!

I've been watching it all week.

Thank you, thank you.

We don't need to sing at all. You guys can do it for us.


Mm!


When this is all over, I'm gonna be taking them back to someplace... and we could drive around.

I can show you a little bit of Nashville... and I can tell you things that'd send you around the corner.

I'm not kidding. I know, for instance...

Uh... What is your name? Norman.

Yeah, Norman. Please, Norman, I...

I make a point never to gossip with servants.

Thank you.

Okay, fellas, I think you know... we've got a good man to get behind.

I don't wanna take a lot of your time, 'cause we do have entertainment for ya.

Uh, you got pledge cards on the table there.

You can pledge anything you want to.

I'll make sure... I'll make you pay, whatever you put down there.

If you got a check, don't be afraid to write it.

I'll get that to the bank quick, before you can stop it.

Any cash, anything at all.

Don't anybody be humble or shy.

That's all. And while you're writin', so you don't get bored or anything...

Just keep your eyes up, 'cause good things come from above.


Hi, y'all. Hi!

My name's Sueleen Gay... and I'm here to sing you a song about a girl that never gets enough.


She's the worst singer I ever heard.

She cannot sing a lick, can she?

Hey, you forgot your jacket.

Excuse me. I gotta go to the bathroom.

If you want more, it's gonna have to be me alone...

'cause it seems I just been deserted.

I'm gonna play somethin' that, uh...

I wrote just recently... and came here to record. All right!

I'm gonna dedicate this to someone special who might be here tonight.

This is a song called "I'm Easy."


Do it to me.

Hi. Hi!

I'm gonna sing you all a song Barbara Jean wrote.

Just wanna get comfortable.

It's called, uh, "One, I Love You."


Boo! Come on, now!

Boo! Come on! Take it off!

Did you tell Trout what you wanted? Did I? It was your job.

I know. I assumed he knew what...

Well, I didn't think it was gonna be any problem.


Come on! What is this?

Come on back here, baby!

What's the matter, honey? I don't understand what's goin' on.

Didn't Trout tell you you're supposed to strip?

I'm a singer!

Listen, go finish the show like you told Trout you'd do... and I'll set it up so you can sing in the Parthenon.

Huh? I'll set it up for you so you can sing in the Parthenon with Barbara Jean.

Go finish the show... I'm gonna get to sing with Barbara Jean?

Yes, you are. Yes, you will. I'll take care of it.

Go finish the show like you told Trout you'd do, okay?

These fellas really like you, honey.

Okay? I'm gonna be as big a star as Barbara Jean is one day.

I know you are. You can't miss.

Go on, now. Come on, let's have the show!


Whoo! Hey! All right! All right!


You're my mama!

All right!

Whoo! Hey, hey, hey!


Want to learn how to say something in sign language?

Yeah. How do you say "I love you"?

Well, you could say... Shorthand for it is...

This is shorthand.

Or you could say, "I"... you could say, "love you."

"I love you"? Mm-hmm.

Or you could just say, "I'm happy I met you."

I'm happy I met you. Right.

Phew.

How can you smoke those things?

It's easy.

Do you smoke? No.

What do you wanna do that for?

Doesn't look good. No?

Hm-mmm. So what?

Tom, I have to go. Aw.

Can't you just call him, tell him you're hung up? No, I can't.

Couldn't you just stay another hour? No, no.

I just can't.


Long-distance operator. You want this charged to your room?

Yeah, please. Your room number, please?

One-twelve.

Hello? Hey.

How you doin'? Oh, wow.

Listen, I'm real sorry I left the way I did.

Oh, wow.

It's really nice to talk to you. It's okay.

It's nice to talk to you too.

What are you doing? I'm thinkin' about you.

You are? Wow.

Can you come down here?

When? Tonight.

Oh, Tom, I can't do that. Why not?

We have an opening at the museum tomorrow. I can't leave my job like that.

Why don't you quit? I'm makin' bread here.

We've tried that before. It doesn't work.

I need to be busy.

I'll wait for you here. When are you coming back?

About a week.

Okay, well, just come on back.

Move back in. It's fine.

I miss you.

I really do.

New York's really been nice. It's missed you too.

The weather's been terrific.

I went sailing.

Yeah. What's that?

That's just room service.

There's 50 cents on the desk there. Just pick it up.

Big tipper. Yeah, well, times are hard.

Right, all that money.

You can afford to bring me down there, I see. Hmm.

Yeah. Well, never mind. See you in a week. I love you, Tom.

This it, honey?

Be careful gettin' out.


Hey.

Hey! Hey, wait just a minute.

Just hold it, will ya?

Now...

I know you don't do that all the time. I...

I want to tell you that I just... I mean...

Me personally, boy, I...

I'd just like to kiss you all over, every place.

You know what I'm telling you?

I think you... Sueleen?

You okay?

Shit, man.

Didn't your mama teach you no manners?

Who was that?

What's the matter with you? Ain't you gonna talk to me?

Did it go all right?

Oh, Wade. What?

I had to do me a striptease tonight in front of all those men... to get to sing at the Parthenon with Barbara Jean.

Oh, shit! Sueleen, I...

That's dreadful! That's terrible, girl!

I mean...

I been meanin' to tell you this for a long time:

You can't sing.

You may as well face the fact you cannot sing.

You ain't gonna never be no star. I wish you'd give it up.

They gonna kill ya. They gonna tear your heart out if you keep on.

They gonna walk on your soul, girl.

I don't know what you're talkin' about. You can't sing.

Do you understand that? Yeah? You wanna make a bet?

You wanna come to the Parthenon and watch me sing with Barbara Jean?

I am leavin' for Detroit Wednesday. You just come and watch.

I'm leavin' for Detroit, and if you wanna go, come on.

They gonna kill you in this town! You come and see.

They gonna use you. You know that. Bye, Wade.

Dumb bitch! I don't know why I stick around.

She makes me so goddamn mad I could spit!

Little more than a year ago, a man named Hal Phillip Walker... excited a group of college students with some questions:

Have you stood on a high and windy hill... and heard the acorns drop and roll?

Have you walked in the valley beside the brook... walked alone and remembered?

Does Christmas smell like oranges to you?

In a commencement speech, such questions were fitting, perhaps... but hardly the material with which to launch a presidential campaign.

Even those who pay close attention to politics... probably saw Hal Phillip Walker... and his Replacement Party... as a bit of frost on the hillside.

Summer, if not late spring, would surely do away with all that.

Well, now that summer, along with presidential primaries, is heavy upon us... and the frost is still there, perhaps we should take a closer look.

Hal Phillip Walker is, in a way, a mystery man.

Out of nowhere, with a handful of students and scarcely any pros... he's managed to win three presidential primaries... and is given a fighting chance to take a fourth: Tennessee.

A win in that state would take on added significance... for only once in the last 50 years... has Tennessee failed to vote for the winning presidential candidate.

No doubt many Americans, especially party-liners... wish that Hal Phillip Walker would go away... disappear like the natural frost... and come again at some more convenient season.

But wherever he may be going, it seems sure... that Hal Phillip Walker is not going away... for there is genuine appeal... and it must be related to the raw courage of this man... running for president, willing to battle vast oil companies... eliminate subsidies to farmers... tax churches, abolish the electoral college... change the national anthem... and remove lawyers from government, especially from Congress.

At this point, it would be wise to say most of us... don't know the answer to Hal Phillip Walker.

But to answer one of his questions... as a matter of fact, Christmas has always smelled... like oranges to me.


You may have to sit out here an hour or so.

All right. It'll give me time to work on my speech.

Okay, thank you.

Hi. How are you? Good to see you.

How are you? Good to see you.

Delbert. How are you? Hey, John. How are you?

Can I say hello? He's working on his speech.

We'll do that later. Right.

He's gonna wait back there, huh? He'll sit out there a minute.

Anybody here yet? Yeah, some of the people.

Barnett? I haven't seen him yet, but he ought to be here quick.

This building was originally here...

It was made out of lumber and plaster of Paris.

Oh, yeah? This whole big building.

See, they built it for a centennial celebration... and people liked this, and they didn't want it torn down.

Nashville got to be called "Athens of the South."

They sort of took to that. Because of this building?

Yeah, right. That's good!

Then they had to rebuild it. This one was originally just... this was built back up right before I was born.

Whoo! Gonna be a scorcher.

Will the park police control all this? Right.

What's all these chairs? Hey, Triple, Delbert, come on.

We don't need all these chairs.

This ain't no band here, right? What's the matter, man?

I don't... I don't believe it!

What's the matter?

Are you guys jerkin' me around? Do you see what I see, or am I...

What the hell is that sign doin' up there, Triple?

We had some ground rules. Am I right?

No political signs, no advertisements, no noth...

What the hell are you doin', huh? Go about your business. We'll take care of it.

I have abided by all the ground rules you laid down, Barnett.

I have Walker sitting out behind this place like an idiot!

Well, he can sit out in the sun and parch for all I care!

My wife ain't well! I brought her out of a hospital bed to be here!

You gave me some truth! You're full of it, just like your man!

I have abided by every ground rule. Except what?

What is that up there? She ain't gonna appear here with that sign up there!

I have busted my ass for you! I'm gonna bust your ass too!

I'm through with it! Take your wife and take a walk!

I'll tell these people she's not going to appear again!

Go on and do it! Okay, take a walk, and I'll do it.

You'd do that, huh? You'd put a knife in my wife's back like that?

You're putting the knife in her back, buster. You're doing it.

I have not got time to take the goddamn sign down and put it back up again!

What are you hollerin' about? You tryin' to embarrass me?

I'm tryin' to be heard. Get these chairs off, and we'll talk about it.

Okay. I'll take care of it. Chrissake! Delbert... where is that rat?

What are you hiding for, you little rat?

And grant us so to serve thee by day... that we may find eternal fellowship with them... through him who died and rose again for us all...

Jesus Christ, our Lord.

Amen.

Mr. Green, it's not over. I'm going to find Martha.

What for? She owes some respect to Esther.

And now, ladies and gentlemen...

Barbara Jean and Haven Hamilton.


I'll find her.


Thank you.


For Mama and Daddy. Thank you.

Thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you. Wonderful! Wonderful!

Let's hear it for Barbara Jean!

Get that gun!

I'm all right. You get her.

Dad? Bud, help her off. I'm all right.

Get Walker out of here! Get Walker out of here!

Get off your asses! Watch her head!

Y'all take it easy now. This isn't Dallas, it's Nashville.

This is Nashville. You show 'em what we're made of.

They can't do this to us here in Nashville.

Okay, everybody, sing!

Come on, somebody, sing!

No, I'm fine. You sing. You stay here and play.

Somebody sing. You've been hurt.

I'm gonna get somebody to help you. Somebody sing. Sing.

Sing!

I think you've been hurt.

Watch your step there. Watch your step there.

Come on, easy, easy. I can't stop that blood, man!

Excuse me. Have you got a car or somethin'?

Can you please tell me what's happened?


except Clorox bottles and plastic flyswatters...

Come on, everybody!


Ain't gonna be nothin' left in our graves... except flyswatters with red dots on 'em.


I ain't gonna be worried.