National Theatre Live: Follies (2017) Script

Young man. Are we ready for the party? Yes, sir, Mr Weismann


Oh Lord, don't tell me I'm the first. I couldn't wait, I guess I haven't seen New York in thirty years and all my friends: I'm so excited

What a shame. Why do they have to tear it down?

You can't imagine how glamorous it was to be a Weismann girl The way Melt to come onstage, all those eyes looking at you...

I'm Sally Durant Plummet. I'm not going to recognise a soul

How pretty. Can I keep it?

It's going to be a lovely party. I am so glad I came


Lord, will you look at it Another theatre comes down It's progress: what this city needs is one more office building What kind of loving wife are you to drag me here?

I think you wanted me to drag you Any bets?

I wanted to come back, Ben. One last look at where it all began I wanted something when I came here thirty years ago - but I forgot to write it down and God knows what it was Well, I'm glad you're glad to be here, that makes one of us I love the way you hate it when I'm happy and you're not

Hey up there, way up there, whaddaya say up were?

My wife, she took the early plane. You haven't seen her, have you? Blonde, about so high?

It's crazy - all the travelling I do, I can't get used to flying Once I met this fellow out in Denver - Salt Lake City Anyway, he's in the airport bar and he is blind drunk. He tells me he's scared of flying So I say, 'Look, fella, M's that bad, don't get on the plane'

'l have to', says the guy, 'I'm the pilot'


Welcome to our first and last reunion For those of you whose memories may be going, I'm Dimitri Weismann Every year, between the wars, I staged a Follies in this theatre Since then, this house has been a home to ballet, rep, movies, blue movies - and now, in the year of our lord 1971, in a final burst of glory, it's to be an office building Before it goes, I felt an urge to see you one last time A final chance to glamorize the old days, stumble through a song or two, and lie about ourselves a little I have, as you can see, spared no expense on the decor Still, there's music, free food and drink, and of course the inevitable Roscoe, here as always to bring on the Wsismann girls

So take one last look at your girls. They won't be coming down those stairs again Good Gott, he expects us to come down that thing?

Ladies, take your places. Maestro, if you please!

Hats off, here they come, those Beautiful girls That's what you've been waking for

Nature never fashioned A flower so fair No rose can compare Nothing respectable Half so delectable Cheer them in their glory, Diamonds and pearls, Dazzling jewels by the score

This is what beauty can be, Beauty celestial, the best, you'll agree All for you, These beautiful girls


Careful, here's the home of Beautiful girls, Where your reason is undone

Beauty can't be hindered From taking is toll You may lose control Faced with these Loreleis, What man can moralize?

Caution, on your guard with Beautiful girls, Flawless manners every one This is how Samson was shorn, Each in her style a Delilah reborn, Each a gem, A beautiful diadem Of beautiful - welcome them -

These beautiful girls!


Hi, honey Buddy That was great. You look sensational, I mean it, like a million bucks How was your flight? You watch the movie? Don't be angry with me, Buddy It's OK, we'll work it out I had to come, I wanted to so much I know, I know you did. You're my girl, honey: just remember that We had a hard time letting go. We kept on working all through '42 Then, one day-we were doing daytime radio in Boston - and Sam, he turned to me and said, 'Stella, baby, this is a load of clap'

The microphone was open. Fifty thousand housewives heard the news Sam didn't care. 'l hate this lousy life', he said. Twenty minutes later we were on our way to Miami She helps me in the store I do all my singing in the tub and, I tell you, it's the cat's pyjamas Nonsense, I'd be delighted. What's your grandson's name?

Jerome. He's just eleven, but he reads all your speeches A misspent youth. I spent mine in the local music hall There was a broken fire door, and I saw every show that came to town You wore a white dress cut to here. I didn't hear a note you sang

Mr Stone, you sure know how to make a girl feel good

My God, you're charming You should see me when you're not around

They might have told us it was a costume party Mitya, darling, it's me, Solange

You know what I have been doing since my style went out of style?

I sell more perfume than Chanel

'Caveman' by Solange, for the man who has an air about him Vulgar, I know, but, my darling, it will change your life I ask you, how is it possible to look like this at

It's magic... 'Magic' by Solange

It's sum a lovely party. I'm so glad I came Of course, my dear It's me: it's Sally Durant, Mr Weismann. I was in the minor number Little Sally... Well, well, well...

That's Christine, isn't it? And Miss Deems and... Ta da!

Now, folks, we bring you. Direct from Phoenix, Live and in person, Sally Durant!

Here she is at last, Twinkle in her eye -

Sally?

Sally! Sally, come on, will you? That's our call Oh God, my hook's undone Let me OK Sally... It is you, isn't it?

Phyllis. Of course it's me. You me, you're here Just look at you. I want to hug you but I can't. You're like a queen, like Jackie Kennedy or something Oh God, what a thing to say. I'm talking silly If you can't, I can Hurry. hurry!

It's just that out in Phoenix nothing like this ever happens I don't think I've slept for days, I'm so excited Sally, you look just as cute as ever Me? Oh, I'm a mess. I've got a tummy, my hair's too bleached. Who res?

New York is all changed. I couldn't even find the theatre tonight, and this afternoon when I went past 44th and Third - why, Phyl, it wasn't there What wasn't?

Our apartment, where we lived. Don't you remember? Five flights up I did the cleaning, you cooked baked beans and peanut butter sandwiches You never made the beds I still don't. And that awful bathtub in the kitchen, and the racket when the El went by You know, I think I loved it You were homesick, you cried a lot but we had fun You married Buddy, didn't you?

He always liked you, Phyl I liked him, too You married Ben. I know, I read about you in the magazines I even saw your living room in Vogue. It's blue

ls Ben still in Europe?

He's not with the UN any more. He's here now Here? Tonight? Phyl, tell me something? If I can Yes, yes, I know. It's always sad to lose a husband I've lost five You wouldn't think it now, to look at me I always married crazy boys. They raced around in motorcars and aeroplanes They lived too fast, but while they lived, my goodness, it was something

Sure, I think about the past. A lot, I guess. Don't you?

There's not much to think about I haven't read your book on 'Wilson yet. Sally bought a copy, though. We keep it on the coffee table Just the place I always knew you'd make it big I've had a lot of luck How's life with you and Phyllis?

She's an extraordinary woman, endlessly exciting I got you a terrific date tonight I can't. I've got a class Aw, come on, Ben. It's all fixed up. She's Sally's roommate I don't know Her name is Phyllis something What's she like?

Nice girl. She's lonely. Do the kid a favour. Whatchla got to lose?

I've been lucky, too. I mean, you grow up hearing it's the little things that count, and you know what? It's hue. I come home from a trip and I'm welcome I see Sally and I'm glad to see her. No big deal, no fireworks-

I'm sentimental on my second drink

You ever play around?

I gave all that up years ago Same here. Not like the old days, is it?

Law School - who could study? I'd have made some lousy lawyer No regrets: right, Ben?

Hey, will you look at that

It's my waltz they are playing. Franz Lehár wrote it for me in Vienna I was having coffee in my drawing room, in ran Franz and straight to the piano

'Liebchen, it's for you'

Or was it Oscar Straus?

Fads never interest me. What matters is the song Geliebte... You look wunderschön

Mitya, I have missed you terribly

Ben Stone!

It's not much of a ball to be belle of, but congratulations anyway That outfit is a triumph of restraint I always liked the way you talk. I haven't seen your picture in the papers lately Thanks, same to you You ought to watch more television. I've got a series of my own. You still in politics?

I said the wrong things. Now I'm president of a foundation

No, no, no. We retired years ago We played the clubs a while, but after dancing in the Follies...

So we bought ourselves an Arthur Murray Dance School franchise Smartest thing we ever did We team dance for a living And we're still a team

Ben?

Ben Stone, I want a reason. Look at me. Damn it. You turn around and look at me!

Ben, it's me Now, folks, we bring you Direct from Phoenix, Live and in person, Sally Durant!

Here she is at last, Twinkle in her eye, Hot off the press, strictly a mess, Nevertheless...

Hi, Ben...

No, don't look at me - Please, not just yet Why am I here? This is crazy!

No, don't look at me - I know that face, You're trying to place The name...

Say something, Ben, anything No, don't talk to me Ben, I forget- What were we like, it's so hazy!

Look at these people, Aren't they eerie?

Look at this party, Isn't it dreary?

I'm so glad I came

Can I look now?

Yes, it's possible. You might be Sally. Did you fall asleep at Toscanini broadcasts?

Did you eat Hershey bars for breakfast? I still do sometimes Oh, Ben, you are just the way I knew you'd be You make me feel like I was nineteen and the four of us were going on the town

So -Just look at us...

Fat... Turning grey...

Still playing games, Acting crazy Isn't it awful? God, how depressing -

Me, I'm a hundred, You, you're a blessing I'm so glad I came!

What we need is a drink

I never get to talk. I take a plane, go to a party, every guy I meet says, 'Boy, oh boy, a real live movie actress: tell me all about yourself I get as far as 'l was born in Idaho' and he starts telling me the story of his life Not just his troubles - he unloads the whole thing. ups and downs Mostly. he just wants to talk. Sometimes, he wants a place to put his head a while Other limes, he wants the works: some nights, he gets it You want to hear the story of my life?

Buddy, I didn't do that, did I?

Cross my heart. In Central Park. You and Sally both dove in. We dared you to Oh, Buddy, it's so good to see you And what fun it was to do things. We don't do things any more: we say them Our life is like a sound tack: words and words with all the action missing Why, do you know even our chauffeur is over-articulate

...and Phyl, she's even lovelier than ever, and the way she talks new, goodness, it's like she had her thinking p on all the lime I feel so empty-headed. Always did, I guess. The way she used to look at me She's much too polite just to say 'l think you're dumb' or something. She was light, though You should see my checkbook, it's like - Oh Lord, I am boring you I didn't think it showed

Ben looks terrific. Kept his hair and everything. Me, I'm in oil these days. It sounds big but it isn't I'm a salesman, we sell these rigs and drills and I'm away a lot I'm good at selling. I like meeting people, going places: keeps the juices flowing

God, the time we clocked here, me and Ben: the things we all did. You remember?

I don't know. I guess I make a point of not remembering I wish I could. Sometimes it even seems a little nuts to me I mean, look around you: stage door, call board - what's so special?

And some days, I'll sit for hours, seeing it all so clear...

Ben and me, that's where we used to sh The place was packed with guys and flowers, wailing for the girls to come down Hey, up mere...

You always took your sweet time getting ready, so we'd josh around, tell jokes I even carved my name here someplace Way up there, Whaddaya say, up there?

This place gives me the weeps. I keep on thinking -

Phyl, don't think I'm nuts, but being back together here, the four of us, I feel all the things I used to feel. Like it was yesterday Oh, Buddy, that's a million years ago. Forget it. 1941?

When I see pictures of myself back then, I think, 'Somebody's put a stranger in my scrapbook'

...but I can't have. I don't like corsages Every night you'd bring one Yesterdays gardenias, darling: always wilted Sure, we got them from the lady on the earner. They were cheaper there The things I did And then we'd go and dance all night at Tommy's Tonys Tonys. Well, my God Don't you wish you were still young, Ben?

Once was bad enough. I wouldn't want to face all that again Hey up there! Way up there! Whaddaya say, up there?

I see it all. It's like a movie in my head that plays and plays It isn't just the bad things I remember. It's the whole show

Waiting around for the girls upstairs After the curtain me down, Money in my pocket to spend, 'Honey, could you maybe get a friend for my friend?'

Hearing the sound of the girls above Dressing to go on the town, Clicking heels on steel and cement, Picking up the giggles floating down through the vent Goddamnedest hours that I ever spent...

...Were waking for the girls Upstairs

Hey up there! Way up there! Whaddaya say. up there?

That's where the keys hung and That's where you picked up your mail

I remember Me and Ben, Me and Ben, We'd come around at ten, Me and Ben, And hang around the wings Watching things With what-the-hell-was-his-name, You know, the old guy...

Max! I remember Anyway, there we'd stay Until the curtain fell And when the curtain fell, Then all hell broke Girls on the run and scenery flying, Doors slamming left and right Girls in their undies, blushing but trying Not to duck out of sight Girls by the hundreds waving and crying, 'See you tomorrow night!'

Girls looking frazzled and girls looking great, Girls in a frenzy to get to a date, Girls like a madhouse and two of 'em late...

And who had to wait? And wait...

And wait...

Waking around for the boys downstairs, Stalling as long as we dare Which dress from my wardrobe of two? (One of them was borrowed and the other was blue)

Holding our ground for the boys below, Fussing around with our hair Giggling. wiggling out of our tights Chattering and clattering down all of those flights -

God, I'd forgotten there ever were nights Of wailing for the boys Downstairs

You up there! Down in a minute!

You two up there! Just keep your shirts on!

Aren't you through up there? Heard you the first time!

Look, are you coming or aren't you coming 'cause - Coming, we're coming, will you hold your horses, we're -

Look, if we're going, we gotta get going 'cause - Coming, we're ready, be there in a jiffy -

Look, they won't hold us A table at ringside all night!

Hi Girls Ben Sally Boy, we're beat You look neat We saw you in the wings How are things?

Did someone pass you in? Slipped a fin...

...To what-the-hell-is-his-name, You know, the doorman Al? No Big? Fat Young? Bald Harry Yeah Okey-doaks Come on, folks And where we gonna go?

A little joint I know What?

Great new show there Hey, I thought you said tonight'd be Tony's This joint is just as grand We girls got dressed for dancing at Tony's This joint is in demand Ta-ta, goodbye, you'll find us at Tony's Wait till you hear the band!

You told us Tonys, that we'd go to Tonys I told you Tonys? I never said Tonys Then Ben mentioned Tonys When's Ben mentioned Tonys?

There's dancing at Tony's All light, then, we'll go!

Waking around for the girls upstairs, Weren't we chuckleheads then?

Very young and very old hat- Everybody has to go through stages like that Waking around for the girls upstairs, Thank you but never again Life was fun, but oh, so intense Everything was possible and nothing made sense Back there when one of the major events...

...Was waking for the girls, Waking for the girls, Waking for the girls Upstairs

All right, ladies! Line up, please...

One, Mo, three... and one more...

One, two, three... That's it!

They seem absurd to you, no doubt. They do to me They look back at their life here and see it as a golden lime - bugle beads and peacock feathers Girls like you, they waled for me in my office, on the stairs, around the comer, anything to see me And for what? To be a Weismann Girl

And I could have them for a smile

You want to be a star, my dear?

Listen to the rain on the roof go Pit-pitty-pat, pit-pitty-pat-pitty.

Sit, kitty cat, We won't get home for hours Relax and Listen to the rain on the roof go -

Plunk-planka-plink, Plunk-planka-plink-planka Let's have a drink And shelter from the showers Rain, rain, don't go away, Fill up the sky Rain through the night, We'll stay cozy and dry Listen to the rain on the roof go Pit-pitty-pat - Plunk-a-plink - Plank Pity that It's not a hurricane Listen - plink - to the - Lovely rain

New York has neon, Berlin has bars, But ah! Paris!

Shanghai has silk and Madrid guitars, But ah! Paris!

In Cairo you find bizarre bazaars, In London - pip! pip! You sip tea But when it comes to love, None of the above...

...Compares, Compris?

So M's making love That you're thinking of, Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah... Paris!

I have seen the ruins of Rome, I've been in the igloos of Nome I have gone to Moscow, It's very gay-

Well, anyway, On the first of May!

I have seen Rangoon and Soho, And I like them more than so-so But when there's a moon, Goodbye Rangoon, Hello, Montmartre, hello!

Peking has rickshaws, New Orleans jazz, But ah! Paris!

Beirut has sunshine - that's all it has, But ah! Paris!

Constantinople has Turkish baths And Athens that lovely debris Carlsbad may have a spa, But for ooh-Ia-Ia, You come with me!

Carlsbad is where you're cured After you have toured...

...Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah... Paris!

I'm just a Broadway Baby, Walking off my tired feet, Pounding 42nd Street To be in a show

Broadway Baby, Learning how to sing and dance, Waking for that one big chance To be in a show

Gee, I'd like to be On some marquee, All twinkling lights.

A spark To pierce the dark From Battery Park To Washington Heights Some day, maybe, All my dreams will be repaid Hell, I'd even play the maid To be in a show

Say, Mr Producer, I'm talking to you, sir I don't need a lot, Only what I got, Plus a tube of greasepaint and a follow-spot!

I'm a Broadway Baby, Slaving at a five-and-ten, Dreaming of the great day when I'll be in a show

Broadway Baby, Making rounds all afternoon, Eating at a greasy spoon To save on my dough

At My tiny flat There's just my cat, A bed and a chair Still I'll slick it till I'm on a bill All over Times Square


Working for a nice man Like a Ziegfeld or a Weismann In a great big Broadway Show!


Your life must be so glamorous I'll bet you think champagne is glamorous Well, isn't it, and all the famous people and the parties?

Oh, yes. The statesmen talk about the servant problems and the writers talk about their picture deals, and the opera singers - all they talk about is food Honestly'! Would I lie to you?

No, it's a good life, really. Success. All it really is, is doing what you want to do It's possible to be a jolly farmer - different men need different things Knowing what you want, that's the secret You're either a poet Or you're a lover Or you're the famous Benjamin Stone You take one road, You try one door, There isn't time for any more. One's life consists of 'either/or'

One has regrets Which one forgets, And as the years go on,

The road you didn't take Hardly comes to mind, does it?

The door you didn't try. Where could it have led?

The choice you didn't make Never was defined, was it?

Dreams you didn't dare Are dead Were they ever there? Who said?

I don't remember, I don't remember at all Here you are. Keys to the old jalopy Thanks You need a couple of bucks? I'm fine Come on, it's only money, what's it matter?

You wouldn't know

The books I'll never read Wouldn't mange a thing, would they?

The girls I'll never know I'm too tired for The lives I'll never lead Couldn't make me sing, Could they? Could they? Could they?

Chances that you miss, Ignore Ignorance is bliss- What's more, You won't remember, You won't remember at all, Not at all Borrowed money, borrowed car. Some day I'm going to have the biggest goddamn limousine We've got each other, Ben. What difference does it make? All the difference

You yearn for the women, Long for the money, Envy the famous Benjamin Stones You take your road, The decades fly, The yearnings fade, the longings die. You learn to bid them all goodbye And oh, the peace, The blessed peace At last you come to know:

The roads you never take Go through rocky ground, don't they?

The choioes that you make Aren't all that grim The worlds you never see Still will be around, won't they?

The Ben I'll never be, Who remembers him?

I remember him. I even think I loved him once

They make a lovely couple. God! What's wrong with me tonight'!

You got the shakes? Not me: I'm on the wagon

You have any kids, Phyl? None at all. Ben put it off. and then it was too late We've got two. They're in San Francisco now She gets lonely for them, so she calls them on the phone and fights

She's fought with everyone she knows. It's crazy Phyl, all I want is Sally back the way she used to be. I want the girl I married That's impossible, but never mind I told her not to come tonight Phyl, she ran away from home to be with Ben Oh, that's absurd It's happening again, just like I knew it would What is?

She's still in love with Ben

I used to wonder but I never knew for sure. Times mange. It might have mattered once Oh, Ben, I said and said Roost too much It's only half a carat It's so beautiful You'll make a good wife, Phyl I'll try. Oh, Ben, I'll try so hard, I'll study and I'll read -

I'm not much now, I know that - but I'll walk my feet off in the Metropolitan Museum...

Bargains. Buddy, That's the way to get through One makes bargains with one's life, that's what maturity amounts to When we're young and every road looks dear, we take them all, ignoring Newtton's laws of motion, going every way at once - star, mother, hostess, hausfrau So I learned to be an artist with my life, I constantly select, as though each day were a painting and I had to get the colours right We're careful of our colours, Ben and I, and what we've made is beautiful I had a lover once. His name was Jack... I think

He played bass guitar and had long hair and no command of language He was young and crude and foolish, and we'd wash away the afternoons with Gallo wine and one another, listening to the pop hits and the news I have a birthmark under my left breast, just here - my only flaw

I think he loved that in me most of all He was so tender touching it, and when he kissed me there, one found it difficult to breathe I thought it answered everything: but these things pass, and I have thirty thousand dollars' worth of Georgian silver in my dining room

What happened to you. Phyl? Where did you go?

I went my own damn way, and don't make waves

...and then the Follies dosed. I never missed it, Ben, not really Neither did the audience I know. And after that we had Tom, and then Tim me along, and when the war was over, Buddy couldn't wait to start in making money We've lived every place you can imagine, Ben. The Sunshine City. that's Detroit - or is it Houston?

Anyway, we've lived in both, and New Orleans - that really is romantic - and Los Angeles - Getting there is half the fun We're out in Phoenix now... We've got this huge old house Oh, it is a different life from yours, you wouldn't like it-but you're right, it's fun Can you imagine, at my age, having fun?

But most of all, what makes my life so good is Buddy Life is slow but it seems exciting 'Cause Buddy's there

Gourmet cooking and letter writing And mowing Buddy's there Every morning - don't faint - I tend the flowers. Can you believe it?

Every weekend, I paint For umpteen hours

And, yes, I miss a lot Living like a shut-in No, I haven't got Cooks and cars and diamonds Yes, my clothes are not Paris fashions, but in...

...Buddy's eyes, I'm young. I'm beautiful In Buddy's eyes I don't get older

So life is ducky And lime goes flying And I'm so lucky I feel like crying, and...

Sally. Wait We're finished, Ben. I mean it Hey, come on, come on You give a ring to her and mess around with me Ben, you can't play with people's feelings, you can't treat me like that OK, if that's the way you feel Damn you, you know the way I feel... Oh God, Ben...

In Buddy's eyes, I'm young. I'm beautiful In Buddy's eyes, I can't get older

I'm still the princess.

Sun the prize In Buddy's eyes, I'm young. I'm beautiful

In Buddy's arms, On Buddy's shoulder,

I won't get older. Nothing dies

And all I ever dreamed I'd be, The best I ever thought of me,

ls every minute there to see In Buddy's eyes


Ben, get me a refill, would you?

Let's dish. I can't wait, tell me everything. You ever miss New York'?

It's changed so much It grows on you - you get to like hostility and filth and rotten manners Tell me more. What's the weather out in Phoenix'? How do you like my husband?

Ben? I've always liked him, you know that How was his conversation? Did he sparkle for you? We just talked about old times and little things You find him changed? Not really, not down deep I rarely dip beneath the surface. ls his heart still young?

You know it is, Phyl. You don't have to ask me Buddy thinks you're still in love with him That man: he gets so jealous sometimes What of?

I'm sorry, Phyl, I don't want to fight with you. I don't have to Well, now, there's a riveting remark. Would you care to expand on that?

No, no, no - I'm not gonna make an ass out of myself alone I do the minor number, we all do the minor number What's wrong? Phyl, aren't you coming? If you can, I can I've got stage flight, would you believe it? This number winded me when I was nineteen I wish we had our old costumes. That was the fun of it I haven't danced in thirty years Well, heaven help us Phyl, remember? I remember

HR it, baby

Who's that woman? I know her well, All decked out head to toe She lives life like a carousel, Beau after beau after beau

Nightly, daily. Always laughing 935'!'-

Seems I see her everywhere I go. Oh-

Who's that woman? I know I know that woman, So clever, but ever so sad Love, she said, was a fact The kind of love that she couldn't make fun of She'd have none of Who's that woman, That cheery, weary woman Who's dressing for yet one more spree?

Each day I see her pass In my looking-glass -

Lord, Lord, Lord, that woman is me!

Ladies, come on!

Mirror, minor, on the wall, Who's the saddest gal in town?

Who's been riding for a fall? Whose Lothario let her down?

Mirror, minor, answer me, Who is she who plays the down?

Is she out each night till three? Does she laugh with too much glee?

On reflection, she'd agree Mirror, mirror...


Minor, Minor, on the wall... Who's that woman? I mean I've seen...

...That woman who's joking But choking back tears Who's been riding for a fall? All those glittering years...

...She thought that Love was a matter of 'Hi, there!' 'Kiss me!' 'Bye, there!'

Minor, minor, answer me... Who's that woman, that d1eery, weary woman...

...Who's dressing for yet one more spree?

The vision's getting blurred

Isn't that absurd?

Lord, Lord, Lord! Lord. Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord...

That woman is me! Minor, Minor...


Wasn't that a blast? I love life, you know that?

I've got my troubles and I take my lumps, we've got no kids, we never made much money, and most of folks I love are dead, but on the whole and all things considered, I...

Where was I? What the hell, I talk too much

I thought you were just marvellous You're Phyillis, aren't you? I'm Christine. I had the dressing table next to yours Don't you remember me at all?

You never liked me What a thing to say I never liked you, either. Where's a drink?

MY Pleasure Kid, you were terrific Did you see me?

You were fabulous. I kept on thinking of the first time when I saw you in the show. Jeez, you were something Was I ravishing? You haven't said You were delightful. How on earth did you remember it?

I've no idea. Unless it was muscle memory. It's curious, the things our bodies won't forget Oh, Buddy, I just feel so good It's been some party. I'm half-pissed

How's Ben?

I don't think Phyllis makes him happy. I see sadness in his eyes I'll bet you do What's that supposed to mean?

Look, Sally, I've been thinking. I'm away too much and what I thought was, nuts to all this travelling I'll just tell them at the office that I'm finished on the road. We could go out more, have fun I mean, I kinda let you down sometimes, I know I do, but I'll try harder. Honestly I will Come on, kid, let's go home I wouldn't leave here for the world. Excuse me!

Gee, honey, that was swell You took me by surprise I love surprises. Let's hold hands and see what happens

We had a good life once, kid When?

Don't talk like that. When we were in Seattle and the boys were young, and we'd go off for weekends, all of us, out into the country, God, how green it was, and you were laughing, like a bubble That was twenty years ago We had it once, though. That's the point Ben? Not now. I'm fired, Phyllis That's right: turn off. My God, we haven't had an honest talk since '41. You think the Japs'll win the war?

I'm in no mood for honest talks I am What do you want from me? It doesn't matter what I do. It's never good enough I come home feeling great and I touch you and you look at me like I've been living in some sewer Haven't you?

You've always got a woman someplace. Oh, I know. You leave things in your pockets so I'll know She lives in Dallas and her name is - Margie! I don't want to hear it Margie, that's her name. She works at Neiman's. She has a little house. It's quiet there She brings me books to read each time, and when I'm there we talk for hours She cooks for me and sews my buttons on, and when we go to bed, it's like she thought I was some kind of miracle She's twenty-nine and pretty and you know what my luck is?

My luck is I love you When was the last time you loved me? Was 'Men years ago, or never?

Do you over contemplate divorce? Or suicide? Why don't you play around? Or do you?

Have you cried much lately? Are you ever savaged by regret?

Does one day more with me seem insupportable? Or are you for all intents and purposes dead?

I have my moments

Tell me one I used to wish that life were work and sleep, that I could go from bed to desk to bed again And now I look at what I do and find it meaningless Meaningless. You cleft my heart I cleave it. 'Cleft' is past Damn fight. You don't much cleave it any more The way I wanted you, I'd come home with my panties wringing wet You're shocked. Why? ls my language getting bad? It used to be, before you taught me everything I know What was I? Just some rooms girl who lost it in a rumble seat Don't you remember? You were there. Son of a bitch, I'm going to cry You wore a grey dress and your zlpper stuck And all you did was sob about your mother and how she'd feel if she knew. You were terrific See that waitress over there? I've been wanting to make her all night Hallelujah, I'll be rooting for you. I wish you'd ravage her and love it Ben, I don't want to be old Who does, for God's sake?

Me. I did. I used to count the days. I couldn't wait till we were old enough so nothing mattered any more I've still got time for something in my life. I want another chance I'm still young and I'm talking to the walls. Where are you?

Right where you are, and it's yes to all your questions Yes, I loved you once and, yes, I play around, and yes, I have regrets and Jesus, one more day with you -

I'll take that

You have a nice face. I don't suppose you play the bass guflar

I had a Follies number once, a solo, and they cut the goddamn thing in Philadelphia See, they thought it was a torch song and it kept on getting laughs They told me 'sing it sadder', so I did I got out there and gave 'em sad, and eighteen hundred people cracked up laughing Whaddya gonna do?

Good times and bum times, I've seen them all and, my dear, I'm still here Plush velvet sometimes, Sometimes just pretzels and beer, But I'm here I've stuffed the dailies In my shoes, Strummed ukuleles, Sung the blues, Seen all my dreams disappear, But I'm here

I've slept in shanties, Guest of the WPA But I'm here Danced in my scanties, Three bucks a night was the pay, But I'm here I've stood on bread lines With the best, Watched while the headlines Did the rest In the Depression was I depressed? Nowhere near

I met a big financier And I'm here

I've been through Gandhi, Windsor and Wally's affair, And I'm here Amos 'n' Andy, Mah-jongg and platinum hair.

And I'm here I got through Abie's Irish Rose, Five Dionne babies, Major Bowes, Had heebie-jeebies For Beebe's Bathysphere

I've lived through Shirley Temple And I'm here I've gotten through Herbert and J Edgar Hoover, Gee, that was fun and a half When you've been through Herbert and J Edgar Hoover, Anything else is a laugh

I've been through Reno, I've been through Beverly Hills, And I'm here Reefers and vino, Rest cures, religion and pills, And I'm here Been called a pinko Commie tool, Got through it stinko By my pool I should have gone to an acting school, That seems dear

Still, someone said, 'She's sincere', So I'm here Black sable one day, Next day it goes into hock, But I'm here Top billing Monday, Tuesday you're touring in stock, But I'm here First you're another Sloe-eyed vamp, Then someone's mother, Then you're camp Then you career From career to career

I'm almost through my memoirs, And I'm here I've gotten through 'Hey, lady, aren't you whoozis? Wow, what a looker you were'

Or, better yet, 'Sorry, I thought you were whoozls, Whatever happened to her?'

Good times and bum times, I've seen them all and, my dear, I'm still here Plush velvet sometimes, Sometimes just pretzels and beer, But I'm here I've run the gamut, A to Z, Three cheers and dammit, C'est la vie, I got through all of last year, And I'm here Lord knows, at least I was there, And I'm here!

Look who's here!

I'm still here!


The one impulsive thing I ever did was marry her. I must have loved her very much And these days, when I look at her, the cool I see in those blue eyes, she's untouchable Why does she stay with me, for God's sake? She despises me, you know She can't: no woman could One time, we were vacationing in Salzburg, just the two of us alone...

It's a boring story You don't like to feel things: that's your trouble When I have a feeling, I enjoy it. I just dose my eyes and let it come Come on, you dose your eyes

You feeling anything? Not much I read a lot -just trashy stuff to pass the time - and the amount of junk about love people write...

When I loved you and you loved me... I float off... sometimes... Ben, it's all I think about The way I'm always laughing, you'd think I was a happy girl, but I'm only happy, Ben, when I'm with you I made love to a girl this afternoon. I do that now and then: it happens Plain girl, no conquest there to brag about. And after it was over, guess what'!

I began to cry. New, I haven't cried since childhood, and the noises that I heard some out of me...

I would give -what have I got? - my soul's of little value, but I'd give it to be twenty-five again It's not too late, it never is I've done it wrong. This isn't what I meant I knew it. I am very sensitive to people's looks, and when you looked at me tonight...

I've got no friends. You're the only one. I couldn't live without you, Ben, I'd kill myself I don't know who I am You are my sweet boy, my little Ben I don't mind giving up the stage, and Buddy doesn't love me, not like you do I can wait until the war is over I want to disappear inside you. just curl up and disappear Did I love you, Sally? Was it real?

I'll write you letters and I'll knit you socks I'll go half-crazy from the wailing but I'll stand it somehow I can wait forever just so long as at the end of it there's you

Too many mornings, Waking and pretending I reach for you Thousands of mornings, Dreaming of my girl All that time wasted, Merely passing through, Time I could have spent So content Wasting time with you

Too many mornings, Whishing that the room might be filled with you.

Homing to morning, Turning into days All the days That I thought would never end, All the nights With another day to spend, All those times I'd look up to see Sally standing at the door, Sally moving to the bed, Sally resting in my arms With her head against my head

If you don't kiss me, Ben, I think I'm going to die

How I planned What I'd wear tonight and When should I get here, How should I find you, Where I'd stand, What I'd say in case you Didn't remember, How I'd remind you -

You remembered, And my fears were wrong!

Was it ever real? Did I ever love you this much?

Did we ever feel So happy then?

It was always real... I should have worn green...

And I've always loved you this much... I wore green the last time...

We can always feel this happy... The time I was happy...

Too many mornings Wasted in pretending I reach for you How many mornings Are there still to come?

How much lime can we hope that there will be?

Not much time, but it's lime enough for me, If there's time To look up and see Sally standing at the door, Sally moving to the bed, Sally resting in my arms.

With your head against my head

I want you, Sally Silly Ben, I know you do The way you make me feel... the way I need you...

Don't you... always?


Let's get out of here Just one thing, Ben Come on This time you're going to many me. Aren't you?

You love me, Ben. Why not get married now? You love me, Ben Oh my God, what am I doing? There's lots of time for that Sally wants another kiss, please What if there's not?

We'll be so happy What if you don't come back?

Don't worry, lawyers don't get shot What Where's someone else? Ben, many me. Now. If you really love me Love you, yes, I love you Then why not'!

Sally, listen to me! Sure, Ben: every word I'm not myself I'm late Ben... Ben Stone! It's this damn place, all the drink I want to know. I want a reason, damn it Quit pressing me I'm sorry-all the things I've done or didn't do - but Sally, all of it was over years ago

Ben. Don't get upset

It's fine. We are going to be just fine

The right girl - yeah! The right girl -yeah.

She makes you feel like a million bucks Instead of - what? - like a rented ma:

The right girl - yeah! The right girl.

She's with you, no matter how you feel. You're not the good guy, you're not the heel You're not the dream boat that sank - you're real When you got The right girl - yeah!

And I got-


Hey, Margie, I'm back, babe. Come help me unpack, babe Hey, Margie, hey, bright girl, I'm home

What's new, babe? You miss me? You smell good, come kiss me Hey, Margie, you wanna go dancing? I'm home

Des Moines was rotten and the deal fell through I pushed, babe. I'm bushed, babe I needed you to tell my troubles to -

The heck, babe - Let's neck, babe Hey, Margie, you wanna go dancing? You wanna go driving? Or something?

Okay, babe, Whatever you say, babe You wanna stay home,

You wanna stay home

Margie...

sally...


Hey Margie, it's day, babe, My flight goes-No, stay, babe, You know how you cry, babe - Stay home

Be good now, we'll speak, babe, It might be next week, babe -

Hey, Margie - goodbye, babe -

I gotta go home

The right girl - yeah! The right girl.

She sees you're nothing and thinks you're Icing, She knows you got other songs to sing You still could be - hell, well anything When you got-yeah! The right girl - yeah!

And I got-

Hey Margie, I'm back, babe. Come help me unpack, babe Hey, Margie, hey, bright girl, I'm home

You miss me? I knew it. Hey Margie, I blew it-

I don't love the right girl

Ah shit...

Sally, I want to talk See, I've been thinking, oh, all kinds of thoughts, like how it is at home with you. The mess, the moods, the spells you get, in bed for days without a word Or else you're crying, God, the tears around our place - or flying out to Tom and Tim and camping on their doorstep just to fight -

It's crazy and we're finished, kid

It's over Don't feel bad Darling, you'll be better off without me, and I am going to be just fine You see, Ben wants to marry me. He asked me if I would marry him and naturally I said I would Is that a fact He's home now, packing, and we're leaving in the morning Take you to a hotel, sure: but marry you? You're either drunk or crazy and I don't care which He held me and the band played - I can even tell you what the tune was

I've spent my whole life making things the way you want them, and no matter what we do or where we go or what we've got, it isn't what you want

It used to drive me nuts. Not any more So you wake up hung over or you wake up in the funny farm, it's all the goddamn same to me He took me in his arms and kissed me. I know every word he said

I'm getting married and I'm going to live forever with the man I love

Oh dear Lord, isn't it a wonder?

Still time for a nightcap I need my beauty sleep I'll say you do

I used to wish I had a son I was going to call him Eddie, and I'd go to the shops to look for things for him to wear I'd see a nightshirt on the counter, pick it up and hold it in my hands -

Young man, you're getting me all wet Now, that's a hell of a remark

I don't know what we're doing here

This wasn't my idea. You started it All right, all right: you've been assaulted by a crazy lady. Where's a drink?

I'll get my "BY

Come here The moon's gone down: you're safe

New that we've been introduced, tell me: do you find me attractive?

I dunno -

Yeah, I do. It beats me Thanks

Do you sleep around a lot? Sure, all the time Do you find, in your experience, does that make sex less pleasurable?

Does what'!

Not loving anyone Hell, I dunno. I never think about it

That's a neat trick

Hey, what's the matter?

If I knew that, I'd have it fixed Just meet me later. I don't want to be alone, that's all You're married: you can play around. I'm in-between: I never cheat on guys I'm living with I only want to talk. I've got to talk to someone. Just be with me Come on, come on now: you're a big boy Right you are. I'll tell you fascinating tales of my adventures, make you laugh It's nothing, you'll feel better in the morning Take me home and hold me. Jesus, please

We had some fun once: it was just a thing. That's all you meant to me, Ben, just a thing The guy I'm living with, he's just a thing, too, but he's twenty-six

I like him. I liked you. Next year, I'll like some other guy Men, they're so sweet


One more kiss before we part One more kiss and -farewell,

Never shall we meet again, Just a kiss and then We break the spell

One more kiss to melt the heart, One more glimpse of the past,

One more souvenir of bliss, Knowing well that this One must be the last

Dreams are a sweet mistake. All dreamers must awake

On, then, with the dance, No backward glance Or my heart will break Never look back Never look back

One more kiss before we part, Not with tears or a sigh

All things beautiful must die

Now that our love is done, Lover, give me one More kiss and - goodbye


Hey, how about one for the road? Party's not over yet, not while I'm around Honey, you're an inspiration to me You know what, we should do this every year Are you insane?

Ben, do you know, according to statistics, I can't expect to die until 1995 That's one long time, and I've been considering what my options are Hell, even on the gallows there are choices - you can take it like a man or cry a lot What's there for me? I can't go home to mother, she's dead. No, Ben, it all comes down to this:

I won't go back to what we've had, not one day more of it I've got it all worked out The walls are dosing in but there's a door. And, lady, it's for you I don't know how I've stood it all these years. The only thing I want from you is a divorce Get him, puppy love at fifty-three I can see you both in your bikinis, honeymooning at Bo Raton She'll make a hit at the foundation in her tap shoes I'm not in love with Sally. Hell, I never was There's no one in my life: there's nothing. That's what's killing me I'm nothing. That's not much God, I see lovers on the street - it's real. it's going on out there and I can't reach it Someone's got to love me and I don't care if it doesn't last a month.

I don't care if I'm ludicrous or who she is or what she lookalike, I don't care You haven't got a due what love is. Hell, you've had 't your whole life. I should have left you years ago Just leave me now, that's all I want

Leave you? Leave you? How could I leave you?

How could I go it alone?

Could I wave the years away With a quick goodbye?

How do you wipe tears away When your eyes are dry?

Sweetheart, lover, Could I recover, Give up the joys I have known?

Not to fetch your pills again Every day at five, Not to give those dinners for ten Elderly men from the UN -

How could I survive?

Could I leave you And your shelves of the World's Best Books And the evenings of martyred looks, Cryptic sighs, Sullen glares from those injured eyes?

Leave the quips with a sting, jokes with a sneer, Passionless love-making once a year?

Leave the lies ill-concealed And the wounds never healed And the games not worth winning And - wait, I'm just beginning!

What, leave you, leave you, How could I leave you?

What would I do on my own?

Putting thoughts of you aside In the South of France, Would I think of suicide? Darling, shall we dance?

Could I live through the pain On a terrace in Spain?

Would it pass? It would pass Could I bury my rage With a boy half your age In the grass? Bet your ass But I've done that already - or didn't you know, love?

Tell me, how could I leave when I left long ago, love?

Could I leave you? No, the point is, could you leave me?

Well, I guess you could leave me the house, Leave me the flat, Leave me the Braques and Chagalls and all that You could leave me the stocks for sentiments sake And ninety percent of the money you make, And the rugs And the cooks-

Darling, you keep the drugs, Angel, you keep the books, Honey, I'll take the grand, Sugar, you keep the spinet And all of our friends and - Just wait a goddam minute!

Oh, leave you? Leave you? How could I leave you?

Sweetheart, I have to confess:

Could I leave you?

Yes Will I leave you? Will I leave you?

Guess!

They won't stop shaking You'll make a good wife, Phyl I'll try. Oh, Ben, I'll try so hard. I'll study and I'll read -

I'm not much now, I know that - but I'll walk my feet off in the Metropolitan Museum...

I tried so hard. I studied and I read - I thought I wasn't much, I was terrific- and I walked my goddamn feet off. Where did you go, Phyl?

I love you, Ben... She did - and what did you give her?

Someday, I'll have the biggest goddamn limousine... So smart!

What happened to you, Phyl?

We've got each other, Ben. What difference does it make?

You had it all and you threw it away There you are, you bastard What's that? You're a fourteen-carat bastard You're my best friend, best I ever had, Ben What's this about'!

You wouldn't anew around with Sally. Take her dancing, maybe, but that's all, fight?

She's a sweet kid but that's where it stops I'll knock your goddamn block off Any lime you say I'm ready, darling. We can go now You're not in love with Sally. Boy, you take the cake Let's go to my place. Phyl won't be there Bull never said I loved you, did I? Now, if you really love me Love you, yes, I love you Then why not'!

You really love me, don't you, kid? With all my heart, oh Buddy...

That's a lie Please, Ben, I'd like to go now Ben ran out and I was there, that's all it was I want a reason. Am I cheap? Is that it? I'm not good enough Think what you goddamn please Don't leave me, Ben. I'll kill myself. I'll die!

You fool! I want a baby, Ben You could have had him but you played it wrong Ben, can't we have one, can't we try?

You took her back... You had him crazy for you...


Time stops, hearts are young, Only serenades are sung In Loveland, Where everybody lives to love Raindrops never rain, Every road is Lovers' Lane In Loveland, Where everybody loves to live See that sunny sun and honeymoon, There where seven hundred days hath June Sweetheart, take my hand, Let us find that wondrous land Called Loveland, Loveland, Loveland...

I is for the long long road ahead That leads all lovers to the landscape of their dreams

Loveland, where everybody lives to love O is for the overwhelming optimism Only lovers know, or so it seems Loveland, where everybody loves to live V is for the various vicissitudes they'll weather Because it's also for the vows they made together Loveland, Loveland E is for the endless expectations Lovers elevate so often to extremes Loveland, Loveland I is for the lies that get perfected, A is for the aims that go awry Loveland, where everybody lives to love N is for the needs that get neglected. D is for the doubts that never die Loveland, where everybody loves to live Lovers pine and sigh but never part, Time is measured by a beating heart Bells ring, fountains splash, Folks use kisses 'stead of cash In Loveland, Loveland...

What will tomorrow bring? The pundits query Will it be cheery? Will it be sad?

Will it be birds in spring Or hara-kiri?

Don't worry, dearie Don't worry, lad

I'll have our furture suit your whim, Blue chip preferred Putting it in a synonym, Perfect's the word We're in this thing together, Aren'tcha glad?

Each day from now will be The best day you ever had

You're gonna love tomorrow, You're gonna be with me You're gonna love tomorrow, I'm giving you my personal guarantee Say toodle-oo to sorrow And fare-thee-well, ennui Bye-bye... You're gonna love tomorrow, As long as your tomorrow is spent with me Today was perfectly perfect, You say Well, don't go away, 'Cause if you think you liked today, You're gonna love tomorrow, You stick around and see And if you love tomorrow, Then think of how it's gonna be Tomorrow's what you're gonna have a lifetime of With me!

Sally, dear, now that we're Man and wife, I will do wonders to Make your life Soul-stirring And free of care If we fight (and we might), I'll concede Furthermore, dear, should your Ego need Bolstering, I'll do my share

But though I'll do my utmost To see you never frown, And though I'll try to cut most Of our expenses down, I've some traits, I warn you, To which you'll have objections I, too, have a cornu-copia of imperfections

I may bum the toast Oh, well I may make a rotten host Do tell But no matter what goes wrong, Love will see us through Till something better comes along I may vex your folks Okay I may interrupt your jokes You may But if I come on too strong, Love will see us through Till something better comes along I may play cards all night And come home at three Just leave a light On the porch for me Well, nobodys perfect!

I may trump your ace Please do I may clutter up the place Me too But the minute we embrace To love's old sweet song, Dear, that'll see us through Till something better comes along

Hi Girls Ben Sally You're gonna love tomorrow, You're gonna be with me...


Tomorrow's what you're gonna have And Mondays what you're gonna have And April's what you're gonna have And love is what you're gonna have...

...a lifetime of with me!


Hello, folks, we're into the Follies! First, though, folks, we'll pause for a mo'

No, no, folks, you'll still get your jollies- It's just I got a problem that I think you should know

See, I've been very perturbed of late, very upset, Very betwixt and between The things that I want, I don't seem to get. The things that I get-you know what I mean?

I got those 'God-why-don't-you-love-me- oh-you-do-I'll-see-you-later' blues, That 'Long-as-you-ignore-me- you're-the-only-that-matters' feeling, That 'If-I'm-good-enough-for-you-you're-not-good-enough'

And 'Thank-you-for-he-present- but-what's-wrong-with-it?' stuff, Those 'Don't-come-any-closer- 'cause-you-know-how-much-I-love-you' feelings, Those 'Tell-me-that-you-love-me- oh-you-did-I-gotta-run-now' blues

Margie! Oh, Margie!

She says she really loves me I love you She says She says she really cares I care. I care She says that I'm her hero My hero She says I'm perfect, she swears You're perfect, goddammit She says that if we parted, If we parted, She says, She says that she'd be sick

She says she's mine forever Forever She says I gotta get outta here quick!

Don't go! Don't go! I love you! I love you! Come back!

I got those 'Whisper-how-I'm-better-than-l-think- but-what-do-you-know?' blues,

That 'Why-do-you-keep-telling-me-I-stink- when-I-adore-you' feeling, That 'Say-I'm-all-the-world-to-you- you're-out-of-your-mind', 'I-know-there's-someone-else- and-I-could-kiss-your-behind'.

Those 'You-say-I'm-terrific- but-your-taste-was-always-rotten' feelings, Those 'Go-away-I-need-ya,' 'Come-to-me-I'll-kill-ya,'

'Darling-I'll-do-anything- to-keep-you-with-me-till-ya-

Tell-me-that-you-love-me- oh-you-did-now-beat-it-will-ya?' blues

Sally! Boy, Sally...

She says she loves another Another She says, A fella she prefers Furs! Furs!

She says that he's her idol Idol-idol-idol-idol-idol! She says Ideal, she avers You deal... 'avers'?

She says that anybody-

Buddy? Bleah! She says, Would suit her more than I Aye, aye, aye She says that I'm a washout-

(A washout!) She says I love her so much, I could die! Get outta here!

Om om Go way! Go way!

I got those...

'God-why-don't-you-love-me- oh-you-do-I'll-see-you-later' blues, That 'Long-as-you-ignore-me- you're-the-only-thing-that-matters' feeling, That 'If-I'm-good-enough-for-you- you're-not-good-enough'

And “Thank-you-for-he-present- but-what's-wrong-with-it?' stuff, Those 'Don't-come-any-closer- ' cause-you-know-how-much-I-love-you' feelings, Those 'If-you-will-then-I-can't,' 'If-you-don't-then-I-gotta,'

'Give-it-to-me-I-don't-want-it- if-you-won't-I-gotta-have-it'

'High-low-wrong-right-yes-no-black-white'

'God-why-don't-you-love-me- oh-you-do-I'll-see-you-later' blues


The sun comes up, I think about you The coffee cup, I think about you I want you so, It's like I'm losing my mind

The morning ends, I think about you I talk to fiends, I think about you And do they know? It's like I'm losing my mind

All afternoon, Doing every little more,

The thought of you stays bright Sometimes I stand In the middle of the floor,

Not going left, Not going right

I dim the lights And think about you, Spend sleepless nights To think about you You said you loved me,

Or were you just being kind?

Or am I losing my mind?

I want you so, It's like I'm losing my mind

Does no one know? It's like I'm losing my mind

All afternoon, Doing every little more, The thought of you stays bright Sometimes I stand In the middle of the floor,

Not going left, Not going right I dim the lights And think about you, Spend sleepless nights To think about you You said you loved me, Or were you just being kind?

Or am I losing my mind?


Here's a little story that should make you cry About two unhappy dames Let us call them Lucy 'X' and Jessie 'Y'. Which are not their real names Now Lucy has the purity Along with the unsurety That comes with being only twenty-one Jessie has maturity And plenty of security Whatever you can do with them she's done Given their advantages, you may ask why The two ladies have such grief This is my belief, In brief

Lucy is juicy But terribly drab Jessie is dressy But cold as a slab Lucy wants to be dressy, Jessie wants to be juicy Lucy wants to be Jessie, And Jessie Lucy You see, Jessie is ram] But hard as a rock Lucy is lacy But dull as a smock Jessie wants to be I am], Lucy wants to be Jessie That's the sorrowful précis. It's very messy

Poor sad souls, Itching to be switching roles Lucy wants to do what Jessie does, Jessie wants to be what Lucy was

Lucy's a lassie You pat on the head Jessie is classy But virtually dead Lucy wants to be classy, Jessie wants to be Lassie If Lucy and Jessie could only combine, I could tell you someone Who would finally feel...

...just fine


Now if you see Lucy 'X'. Youthful, truthful Lucy 'X', Let her know she's better than she suspects Now if you see Jessie 'Y', Faded, jaded Jessie 'Y', Tell her that she's sweller than apple pie Juicy Lucy, Dressy Jessie, Tell them that they ought to get together quick, 'Cause getting it together is the whole trick


Here he comes, Mister Whiz Sound the drums, Here he is

Raconteur, Bun vivant Tell us, sir, What we want to know The modus operandi A dandy should use When he is feeling low

When the winds are blowing, Yes?

That's the time to smile Oh?

Learn how to laugh, learn how to love, Learn how to live, That's my style When the rent is owing, Yes?

What's the use of tears? Oh?

I'd rather laugh, I'd rather love, I'd rather live...

...In arrears Some fellows sweat To get to be millionaires, Some have a sport They're devotees of Some like to be the champs At saving postage stamps Me, I like to live, me, I like to laugh, Me, I like to love

Some like to sink And think in their easy chairs Of all the things They've risen above

Some like to be profound By reading Proust and Pound Me, I like to live, me, I like to laugh, Me, I like to love

Success is swell And success is sweet, But every height has a drop

The less achievement, The less defeat What's the point of shovin' Your way to the top?

Live 'n' laugh 'n' love 'n' You're never a flop So when the walls are mumbling, Yes?

Don't give up the ship No Learn how to laugh, learn how to love, Learn how to live, That's my tip When I hear the rumbling, Yes?

D u I lose my grip? “ No!

I have to laugh, I have to love, I have to live That's my trip When the wind is blowing That's the time to smile

When the rent is owing Never lose your style

Some get a boot From shooting off cablegrams Or bung bells To summon the staff Some climbers get their kicks From social politics Me, I like to love, Me, I like to...

I'm 50"!'

Some break their asses Passing their bar exams, Lay out their lives Like lines in a graph One day they're diplomats - Well, bully and congrats!

Me, I like to love, Me, I like to... love...

Me, I like - me, I love - me... I'm sorry... pointless... Stop, please

I don't love me. I don't

'Me, I like to live...' Yes, there's always one

You find that funny?... Just look at me...

Success is swell and success is sweet... I'm nothing. Can't you see it?

Are you blind? I'm a fraud It's all a ma. You couldn't love me, no one could You'd be a fool to bust me. All I'll do is hurt you, tell you lies I only wanted her until I had her After that the job was there and I took it. So smart, you can't catch me

She said she'd kill herself. I didn't think she meant it

You unfeeling bastard on the make

Her zipper stuck - and I kept saying 'Phyl, I love you...' over and over Jesus - Ben!... Phyllis!

Phyllis... I'm here, Ben: I'm fight here

Sally? Are you all right'!

Come on, kid Hey, it's me

I left the dishes in the sink I left them there, I was in sum a hurry, and there is no Ben for me, not ever, any place There never was, and that's the truth Come on. I'll take you home I can't get up I'll help you I should have died the first time Cut that out I should have been dead all these years Don't talk that way. You've got a lot to live for. Friends, a home, some money-

Go on, say it after me, out loud. Say it. Friends...

Friends...

Home...

Home...

We're gonna go and get some rest... and then we're gonna make plans for tomorrow For tomorrow...

Oh God... it is tomorrow

I've lost my jacket

There has to be a way, Phyl I won't face one more morning feeling... despair. I'm sick to goddamn death of it Amen. It's easy. Life is empty, there is no hope. We make our own And I'm here to tell you it's the hardest thing we'll ever do I've always been afraid of you You see straight through me and I've always thought, 'It isn't possible, It can't be me she loves'

Think again. Come on. We're going home

You're really something, aren't you?

Bet your ass

- Hey, up there! Way up There!

Vlhadda say, up there!

Hi... Girls...

Ben... Sally...