Nine Lives (2016) Script

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TOM :You think this is cute, don't you?

You think there's a real connection there.

So you feed it, you dress it up.

But a cat doesn't care if you live or die as long as someone gives it Friskies twice a day.

But people are so desperate for someone to hold onto they'll take whatever they can get.

I found him on the street, months after the accident and I dress him like Masao.

I know my son has come back to me in this cat.

TOM :But no matter how lonely you are, a cat is not a person.


DAVID :Okay. Super helpful, uh...

Oh, so marketing wants sign-off on the new billboard.

TOM :What do you think?

It might be a little heavy on the Photoshop.

Get me a real F-16.

We'll take some real pictures.

No, they said they don't have the budget for it.

Fire the marketing department!

You wanna fire the entire marketing department?

No. I wanna fly a real F-16. What's next?

(STAMMERS) I'm supposed to remind you, Lara's left two messages.

Why is she calling?

Because she's your wife.

I put together some talking points for your press conference.

How old are you again?

Twenty-eight.

That's how long I've been talking to the press.

I'll be fine.

Sir, we're ready.

Why don't you jump with me today?

Oh, yeah, no. I just had breakfast, so...

Come on!

Dad, I can't. I can't.

All right.

Chicken!

Good one, Dad.

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

Yeah!

WOMAN :Very nice, very nice!

Perfect landing.

Thank you.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Good morning, everyone.

What an incredible view.

And I mean all of you that I get to look at this fine morning.

Thank you for coming.

Now, when we open this building one month from today.

The FireBrand Tower will be the tallest building in North America.

And that means that we can finally move out of that dump we've all been forced to work in all these years down the block.

WOMAN :Tell us about Chicago.

Mr. Brand, any comment on the Paragon Tower?

Oh, you mean that tin shack they're gluing together over there in Chicago?

No. No comment on that. (ALL LAUGHING)

Rumor is they're beating you by 60 feet.

Well, no. There's not a chance of that.

No, no. Look, I'd love to answer more questions, but I gotta get back to the office.

(REPORTERS CLAMORING)

IAN :All right. I wanna move fast here.

Have legal review this overnight.

They're all tied up with the tower.

Listen, I know we got to keep him happy, but we can't let this building distract us from...

Why? You've got something better to do?

Oh.

How was the press conference?

Well, apparently it was a distraction.

I pulled some staff to explore a public offering.

I'm sorry. Did I ask you to sell my company?

Are we taking bids?

How much can we get for Gary?

(LAUGHTER)

We ran some rough numbers...

Yeah. Well, first, why is the press asking me about Chicago?

You're winning. Yours is bigger.

Well, finally there's our new slogan.

Where are we with the opening ceremony?

We're gonna rig the entire building with fireworks.

Oh, so, wait. When I cut the ribbon...

Fireworks go off.

Oh, my God. Ian, that is just spectacular, you know, if we were doing a Fourth of July celebration or a really rousing Oktoberfest.

Tom, we can't keep...

Look, we are just about to cap off the tallest building in the Northern Hemisphere and I can't brag about it if I don't own it.

Yeah.

This is the distraction.

Okay, everybody, let's pretend that that didn't just happen.

(APPLAUSE ON TV)

What's that? It's a surprise.

For my birthday?

What are you watching? Dad.

Did he tell you to record this?

No, but I just wanted to see him.

Look. Watch.

BOTH :And that means that we can finally move out of that dump we've all been forced to work in all these years down the block.

How many times have you watched this?

Um...

Eighty-three.

And now it's 84.

We're worried about costs.

Well, that's why we call this a "Board meeting."

(YAWNS)

Please take a message.

Tom, these are serious concerns. I know.

Look, I understand... AUTOMATED VOICE :Lara Brand.

(RINGING)

Lara Brand. Oh, no, go ahead. Just take it outside.

LARA :Ian, where's Tom? I can't get ahold of him.

I can't pry him away from the Board.

I wanna show you all that I take your concerns very seriously.

Our operating costs are up 30% from last quarter.

And my first concern is why is Ian coming at us with this IPO crap?

LARA :He's been with the Board all day?

It's hard to get Tom's attention.

Maybe I should join the Board.

Or you can take my job. Please.

Ian approached us with the idea.

He's put together a very attractive proposal.

STEIN :A public offering means a big payday for all of us.

Now, we've sunk years of revenue into that building, Tom.

It's time to cash out.

Come on, we got plenty of cash, don't we?

And why?

Because we built airlines and retail chains and phone companies, but no one is gonna remember any of those because they keep changing hands.

But 100 years from now, when people look out their windows and they see that tower, they're gonna see the name "Brand" and that's a name they will never forget.

And that is not something that I am willing to sell.

We're not running a charity for your ego, Tom.

Okay. Well, then instead, let's play a little game.

You know, just for the fun of it.

Raise your hand if your name is on the company letterhead.

Tom... No, no. Come on, we'll just call it a vote.

Tom... Fifty-one percent!

Feels good to win.

You can sell shares at my funeral.

And the next time Ian wants to play CEO, we can fire him together. (PAPER SHREDDING)

Hey, can I borrow you for a minute? Not now.

It's about the tower.

(IAN SIGHS)

I already talked to your dad about this. We're 100 feet taller.

I know that's the projection.

But that's printed to scale.

Chicago's beating us by 60.

Am I missing something here? We're taller.

There's too much steel in their roof.

So?

So that's rated for 760 tons, and there's nothing on it.

But if they laid that much steel...

They're not done.

No, that's not in their plans.

They know we have their plans.

They want us to think we're winning but they got a permit for that and they are beating us by 60 feet.

TOM :David!

Right. Keep this quiet.

Oh, Ian, let's make that call to Madrid before they take their siesta.

Absolutely.

You know, we do have janitors.

Yeah. I've been busy. I got you something.

DAVID :Ow!

(SIGHS)

Thanks, Dad.

(DOOR CLOSES)

I'm sorry to break up your dinner, but I need that report.

Well, tell your wife the check's on me.

Yeah, but she gets another anniversary next year.

I don't really care.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Oh, excuse me, have you seen my wife anywhere?

LARA :What does she look like?

She is the most beautiful woman in the entire world.

Oh, well, maybe I have seen her. Let me see.

Oh, here we go. Is this her?

Oh, let's give her a call.

Yeah, it was a busy day. What did I miss?

Uh, my birthday was last month.

You're joking me right now?

You're gonna have to give me more to work with than that.

(LARA CLEARS THROAT)

Oh, damn it. It's not today? Tomorrow.

Oh, well, then I haven't missed it.

Father of the year.

So, what did we get her?

Oh, we didn't get her anything.

You were too busy to talk for five minutes, so I got her a makeup kit.

Oh, well, couldn't we say that the makeup kit's from both of us?

No. Fine.

What should I get her?

Maybe you should ask her what she wants.

Try getting to know her a little bit before she heads off to college.

Come on. I still got seven years left.

Or, no, six years. I'm kidding. (LARA GROANS)

Is this how you raised David?

My son turned out just fine. Mmm.

He had to apply for a job to see his dad.

Well, of course. His mother got full custody.

I had a terrible lawyer.

When you come to Rebecca's party...

Look, we are a month away from opening the tallest building in...

Tom! When you come to Rebecca's party, you gotta be here and you have to bring an exceptional gift.

Daddy!

Hey, baby.

Oh, my goodness. Those are such fancy pajamas.

Yeah, aren't they?

They're not pajamas. They're not?

But isn't it your bedtime? What time is her bedtime?

She's coming with us.

Mom says I get to meet the Mayor.

Really?

Quality father-daughter bonding time.

Will there be food?

It's $10,000 a plate.

You're gonna eat like a queen.

Will there be pizza?

Yes, $10,000 pizza.

(CROWD APPLAUDING)

LARA :The children's fund has thrived under the Mayor's leadership.

And to make sure Mayor Edwards gets something out of it, he's gonna lower the voting age to ten.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Everyone asks me why my husband is hosting a charity event.

The truth is Tom loves children.

He says they make the best smartphones.

I don't get it.

She just burned your dad. Oh.

LARA :They say there is no substitute for time with your children.

Although, we know, in this room, money comes close.

(ALL LAUGHING)

And that's why this charity is so popular.

If you don't have time for kids, we'll ease your guilt by taking your dough.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Which is why Tom Brand has agreed to host this benefit for the next seven years.

(MOUTHING)

So without further ado, please welcome my husband, a real pussy cat, Tom Brand.

(APPLAUSE)

TOM :So, today is the big day.

Have you thought about what you want?

I want a cat.

Oh, I don't think our building takes pets.

You own the building.

Wait, didn't you ask for a cat last year? (PHONE VIBRATES)

Yeah, and you got me a foosball table.

Honey, most kids would kill for a foosball table.

Yeah, but none of my friends play foosball.

So, at least if I have a cat, I can play with the cat.

All right, all right. I'll make you a deal.

I will think about it. How about that? Yes!

(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)

Get her jewelry. Girls love jewelry.

Pull some strings with Apple, get her a prototype of the new iPhone.

How about a private concert?

You know what band she is into? No.

IAN :I have a radical suggestion.

Have you tried asking Rebecca what she wants?

(SIGHS) Yes, she wants a cat.

Well, that's in your price range.

I hate cats.

They puke all over the house. They shed all over everything.

I got an ex-wife, a wife and two kids, I don't need another thing to feed.

What about a pony?

(DOGS BARKING)

(SIGHS)

Could you smile? It's a party.

Why do we always come here?

They're family. More or less.

What are you barking at? There are no squirrels in the elevator.

Here, take him.

Just pretend you're having fun.

(GROANS) Seriously?

(DOORBELL RINGS)

BOTH :Happy birthday!

MADISON :I love this yearly ritual where Tom forgets Rebecca's birthdays and you forget that Tom forgets Rebecca's birthdays.

He kind of remembered.

You'd have to fire a warning shot. Madison!

When Tom and I divorced, he got the younger model.

I'm blushing.

If he loses you, it's jailbait.

Well, that's romantic.

I want you to call my lawyer.

Do you get a finder's fee?

Lara, the day Tom and I divorced was the happiest day of my life.

I want that happiness for you.

Come on, help me out before your hands get all shaky.

This is for the road. I don't want Tom catching us together.

What's he gonna do? Divorce you again?

He would if he could.

NICOLE :Are there gonna be any boys at the party?

No. (SCOFFS)

You're turning 11, Rebecca.

Now's the time. I could help you, you know.

Like how my mom helps your mom.

What? Never mind.

I love your room.

Thank you.

My dad actually likes spending time with me, so he never has to buy me off.

Come on. Smile for Instagram.

(CLICKS)

What if you got her a plush cat?

See, technically, it's a cat.

No, technically, it's not a cat.

(WHISPERS) Chicago just announced.

Hang on. I got it, I got it, I got it.

Take a look at Tashirojima, also known as Cat Island.

Put her up there with a nanny.

Best part, you don't even have to be there.

That's interesting.

She asks for a cat every single year.

You can't just buy your way out.

MAN :Mr. Brand, I think the fact that you've had us put so much time and thought into this is really gonna show her you care.

If you wanna show her you really care, just get her what she really wants.

A cat. (WATCH RINGING)

(GROANS) Jeez.

(ENGINE REVVING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

AUTOMATED VOICE: Nearest pet shop, 1.7 miles.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

Damn it.

AUTOMATED VOICE :Recalculating.

In one-tenth of a mile, make a right turn.

(HORN HONKING)

Make a left turn.

You have arrived.

Jeez!

(CAT MEOWING)

(BELLS JINGLE)

(MEOWING)

(WIND WHOOSHING)


Get away from me.

(MEOWING)

Shut up.

Hello? Hello?

Oh, hello. Hi.

(SIGHS)

You look familiar. Have we met?

Oh, I doubt it.

I know you from somewhere.

Well, I'm on TV a lot.

Yes! Animal Planet. I love that show.

No, not Animal Planet.

I'm Tom Brand. I own FireBrand. There you go.

I use newspaper in the poopy boxes, and I see your face all the time.

Look, I'm a little late for something, so if we could just get on with it? (MEOWS)

Meow! Sure.

You don't like cats, do you, Mr. Brand?

Look, can I just pick one out? And then I'll be on my way.

You don't pick a cat. The cat picks you.

Look, I make million-dollar decisions for lunch.

I'm pretty sure I can pick out a cat.

(MEOWS) See that? He likes you.

It figures because he's attracted to troubled souls.

Used up seven lives already.

(SINGING) Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow Meow, meow, meow, meow Meow, meow, meow That'll give Chicago the tallest building in North America which leaves New York and FireBrand in second place.

You should pick a bowl.

The company could not be reached for comment.

But with the opening ceremony just a month away...

"Mister Fuzzypants."

Yeah. Yeah. Good.

Good choice.

Yeah. Could you just wrap it up for me?

Sure.

(TV SWITCHES OFF) You know, I get it.

"Brand" because your name is Brand.

But why "Fire"? How much do I owe you?

I ask because I did the same thing, see.

My name is Perkins, so I call my store "Purrkins."

Oh, I see there. (CHUCKLES)

We're just like two peas in a pod.

Yeah. Keep the change. (CLEARS THROAT)

Oh, wow.

(GRUNTS) (WATCH RINGING)

You might not wanna take that. I'm sorry?

You're running late, it's a gift.

You don't want to be late.

For the party? (THUNDER RUMBLING)

(WATCH CONTINUES RINGING)

Right.

(BEEPS)

Ian, what the hell is going on?

(DOOR CLOSES) Okay, cats.

Let's do this. (THUNDER CRASHING)

Oh, good job.

Happy birthday, baby. Thank you.

Okay, first piece for the birthday girl.

And save some for Daddy.

Just put it in the freezer next to last year's slice.

Mmm. What?

(CAT MEOWS)

Wait here.

(BEEPING) (MEOWING CONTINUES)

(SIGHS)

(MEOWING CONTINUES)

Shut up.

Went with the cat.

Smart move.

Was that news report a joke?

Tom, we can turn this around.

Just look up there.

That antenna's 47 feet.

I spoke to our engineers, and if we install support lines, we can raise it up.

That's what they did at One World Trade.

Stop. You dragged me across town and up 1,900 feet to tell me this?

This is a solution.

That antenna is... Antenna?

I wanted the tallest building, Ian, not the best reception.

Well, maybe we can add more floors.

Do you know how much planning went into this?

To get permission to build it this height?

You blew it. We're now standing on the second tallest building in North America.

Number two, because you were busy trying to sell my company behind my back.

Tom... Pack up your office!

(WATCH RINGING)

I'm late. I know. Stop calling. (MEOWS)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(BOTH SCREAM)

(TOM GRUNTING)

(YOWLS)

Pull me up. You're firing me?

Take my hand!

(TOM GRUNTING) (BREATHING HEAVILY)

(SCREAMING)

(CAT YOWLING)

TOM :That hurt.

BP holding steady.

Okay, let's do this on three.

Ready?

One, two, three.

(CAT MEOWS)

What about that guy?

Huh, this little guy looks fine.

TOM :Wow, that guy looks worse off than me.

And he's wearing my clothes.

And that's my belt.

Seriously?

It's just a bad dream!

(THUNDER RUMBLING) (TOM YOWLING)

DR. COLE :The good news is your husband made it through surgery with no complications, but he had severe head trauma and is unresponsive.

TOM :You call this unresponsive?

When will he wake up?

Mrs. Brand, your husband's in a coma.

Once the swelling in the brain is reduced over the next couple of days, that's when we're more likely to see a recovery.

But right now, he's not in there.

That's because I'm in here!

Lara, listen to me! It's me!

(MEOWING)

Thank God. You can hear me.

(GASPS)

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

No, no, no, no.

Don't leave me back there.

Hey, leave me with me.

Hi.

Hi, baby.

Can I see Daddy?

Well, he is sleeping right now so he can't talk to us, but maybe he can hear us.

We'll go in together, okay?

Come on. Shall we see?

Oh, this is so humiliating.

Hey, Lara. I tried to lift him up, but I wasn't strong enough.

Judas. No, it's not your fault.

Whose cat is that?

I think he's yours.

I think your dad got him. Let's go see.

Daddy got me a cat?

LARA :Amazing, isn't it?

(YOWLING)

(HISSES) (TOM WHIMPERS)

(SOFTLY) I said I'd call.

TOM :Hello, someone, anyone.

I'm trapped inside a cat's body.

Somebody help me!

You, in the horrible green jacket.

So, how are you doin' in there?

The nightmare continues.

Mr. Brand, this is no dream.

You can hear me? Shh.

(WHISPERING) I'm a cat whisperer.

And I'm the only one who can hear you.

What did you do to me?

I didn't do anything. You fell off a roof.

Fine. How do I get out of this?

Wrong question.

You should ask, "How did I get into this?"

Fine! How did I get into this?

Keep asking that question.

I hope you figure it out.

What does that mean?

Your body won't last long.

If it expires, you're gonna be stuck in there for the rest of your life.

You get me out of here, you son of a...

Calm down, Mr. Brand.

You're a cat.

It's not the end of the world.

I hate cats.

That's what makes this so perfect.

(MEOWING) LARA :All right.

Calm down.

I thought Daddy would get me a kitten.

He is scruffy, isn't he?

What, you want to trade him in.

No!

I didn't think so.

All right, welcome home, cat.

Oh.

Maybe we should let him get comfortable.

He wants to explore. (TOM YOWLS)

Can I sleep with you tonight, Mommy?

Yeah, kiddo.

I could use the company.

TOM :Message. Let them know I'm me.

Write a message.

Simple.

"Oh, hi, it's Tom.

"Get me out of here."

Just need a few words.

Nothing complicated.

(YOWLING)

(THUD)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

(GROANING)

Dear Lara, don't panic. It's Tom.

I seem to be trapped in the body of a cat.

This is not a joke.

Your loving husband, Tom.

Okay, that didn't work.

Although, not bad for a cat.

(GROWLING)

Ironically, I could really use a mouse right now.

Mommy, when is Daddy gonna come home?

Just as soon as he wakes up.

They should use a really big alarm clock.

You'd be a great doctor. (CHUCKLES)

(TOM MEOWING)

What do you want, kitty?

TOM :Money clip, plus license equals...

I'm stuck in a cat!

He wants to play.

(CHUCKLES)

Well, sorry, kitty. It is bedtime in here.

But we can play tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

(TOM YOWLING)

LARA :Okay.

Where were we?

(YOWLS)

(GROANS)

(SIGHS)

(CLATTERING)

(SIGHS)


(GRUNTING)

(GROWLING)

(MEOWS)

(TOM YOWLING) (GLASS SHATTERING)

(CLATTERING)

TOM :If I'm in a cat's body, (HICCUPS) is a cat in my body?

Oh...

I always hated that rug.

Whoa!

This is good scotch.

(MEOWING DRUNKENLY)

(YOWLS)

(SNORING)

Rough night?

TOM :No. I was just contemplating the rest of my life as a cat.

Hmm.

(CHUCKLES)

Okay. (BOWL SCRAPING LOUDLY)

TOM :Jesus!

Who's hungry?

(GRUNTING)

(TOM GROANS)

Oh...

Yum yum.

TOM :Looks like a cat already ate this.

Bon appétit.

French. That'll sell this stuff.

(TOM GRUNTS)

All right.

There's your litter box.

No, thank you, I have the rug.

(LARA SIGHS)

I had a really good excuse.

Here come the floodgates.

You probably think I'm crazy crying over a piece of cake.

Or that your husband's in the hospital in a coma.

He's gonna wake up.

Right?

Oh, I really gotta find that Perkins guy.

(TOM MEOWING)

Hangover!

REBECCA :Hello, kitty.

What should we call you?

Is that your name? Mister Fuzzypants?

I hate karma.

(CHUCKLES) You're the best gift I ever got.

MAN :No, too sweet. (MEN LAUGHING)

WOMAN :That wasn't funny.

What are you two laughing at?

I don't think it's funny. (MEN LAUGHING)

See, this is my point of view.

We don't need high rises, we need strategic growth.

And that's what we've all been saying.

We shouldn't even be talking about this now.

This isn't a crisis.

This is an opportunity.

(TOM MEOWING)

What?

(LARA SIGHS)

What do you need?

(SCOFFS)

(CONTINUES MEOWING)

If you want food, it's in the bowl.

TOM :Fruity Pebbles or that?

Fruity Pebbles.

Be the cat, be the cat, be the cat, be the cat, be the cat!

(GROANING)

Graceful.

Yeah? You try it.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

TOM :And, nailed it!

LARA :I called your mom, too.

I just wanted to get everyone together.

Well, it smells great.

What are you cooking?

Roast cat. (CHUCKLES)

DAVID :Maybe its head got screwed up in the fall.

He's an alcoholic. I can't get him to eat, but I found an empty decanter, of 50-year-old Macallan with fur all over it.

Well, at least he has good taste.

Maybe I should mix scotch into his food.

Can I use Dad's office for a bit?

LARA :Yeah, what's up?

DAVID :I just want to see if I can find anything else that might help me with this whole Chicago...

(THUD)

Do they make MRIs for cats?

You mean CAT scans?

TOM :I should have landed on the knives.

(CHUCKLES)

I'll be in the office.

Hi.

So, are you like Dad now?

What do you mean?

Are you president of the company?

No, I'm doing the same job, just without Dad.

Can you come out soon?

Yeah, in a minute.

(SIGHS) You're so totally like Dad.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

MADISON :Lara!

TOM :Oh, good! Satan's over for dinner.

So sorry about Tom. I always thought it would be skydiving, or that his secretary would just snap and bring an Uzi to the office.

I thought you'd die from a Botox overdose.

Oh, you brought the dogs. (BARKING)

MADISON :Princess, Jeanette!

(MEOWS)

You know Tom's unconscious, right? You can take the night off.

Yeah, well, someone has to keep things going.

I never understood why you wanted to work for him anyway.

Mom, if we could not talk... Hey.

This isn't healthy.

(SIGHS)

Chicken soup for grief. (CLINKS)

Mmm. MADISON :Mmm.

(YOWLING) (BARKING)

Stop it. Get out of here.

Heel!

Can you please take them away? They're really scaring him.

They have a very strong sense about other animals.

Where'd your dad get him? REBECCA :Why?

Well, did he just pick him up off the streets?

He's just a little messy.

(SIGHS) I know you're upset because your dad's dying...

He's not dying. He's just unconscious.

My mom says your mom should be more realistic about his condition.

(BARKING)

Princess, Jeanette, heel!

TOM :T O M.

(TOM READING)

Madison, David, Rebecca, Nicole.

What?

I set a place for Tom.

Well, that's a weird habit. It's not like he's usually here for dinner.

Madison, not tonight.

I'd say the same thing if he were here.

TOM :Yes, that's why nobody likes you.

But there's a reason you've been seeing Josh.

Josh?

Oh, I can't even think about that right now.

Now's the perfect time. It's not like Tom could catch you.

Who needs a litter box?

(URINATING)

(TOM SIGHS)

Oh, Madison? I've been a bad kitty.

Hey! You...

Oh... (GRUNTING)

Cheese! (CAMERA CLICKS)

LARA :Sorry, everybody.

REBECCA :Wait. What?

Nothing, I just thought I saw... Nothing. It's okay.

Lara, that cat needs to be put down.

BOTH :Hey!

I'll buy you a new bag, Madison.

Hire a trainer, a cat whisperer, I don't care.

Let's get you a new martini.

Yes.

Well, someone's gotta talk about the empty chair.

Should we do toasts? It's not a wake, Mom.

This isn't Tom's first time in the hospital.

Remember when he launched the airline?

He was always on the phone, never slept.

You know what you asked me?

Vampire.

Why is Daddy a vampire?

TOM :Because Mommy sucked all his blood.

He'd stay awake all night working out, and then one day, he just fell asleep on a moving treadmill.

He was in the hospital for a week.

Best vacation I ever had.

I'd wake up and find him on the balcony at 4:00 a.m. just staring at his tower.

I'll say this for Tom.

There was never another woman.

With me, it was an airline.

With you, it's a big skyscraper.

Ignore everything you hear tonight.

I'm not a role model, Rebecca.

You're used to it.

How about that toast? Mmm-hmm.

To Dad. Wake up soon. We miss you.

Or your tower misses you.

(MEOWING SADLY)

(GASPS)

TOM :Sleep well?

Rebecca Alison Brand, your cat destroyed the yellow pages!

REBECCA :What's a yellow pages?

(TOM MEOWS)

(MEOWING CONTINUES)

That cat you got, he's lucky you're in here or you'd have killed him by now.

I got a plan to beat Chicago.

I just need to sell it to the Board.

When you wake up, we might be number one.

DR. COLE :We're doing the best that we can do.

Okay. Thank you so much.

What are you doing here?

Sprained my wrist. That's why I couldn't hold on to your Dad.

You're seeing my Dad's neurologist about your wrist?

The Board needs updates on his status.

So ask me.

We're not going to take medical advice from the grieving son.

It's a massive transition for the company.

What transition?

Big day at the office. Good luck with the Board.

DAVID :We're losing by that much.

We get 70 feet, we're number one.

Now, our structure can't support another floor, and unfortunately we can't just smuggle a wrecking ball into Chicago, so we need to shed weight.

I thought we were making it taller.

We lose one floor, it buys us this.

That's gonna collapse.

Not if we use titanium.

Why don't we just build it out of gold?

It's as strong as steel and half the weight.

I don't know what problem you're trying to solve here.

Excuse me?

This is a stack of prime real estate in Manhattan.

We can't charge rent on a jungle gym.

My father didn't build the tallest skyscraper in the Northern Hemisphere for a little rent money.

It's not the tallest skyscraper.

Because you screwed up.

Hmm.

Look. If Tom were here, you know this is exactly what he would do.

I appreciate that you want to honor your father, David.

We need to watch the books.

Our company can't keep diverting funds into Tom's pet projects.

It's his company.

Thank you, David.

He's not dead.

(MAN COUGHS)

Meow. TALKING TOM :Meow.

You wanna try?

You wanna try?

TOM :Lord help me.

Okay, let's try "A purse is not a litter box."

TALKING TOM :A purse is not a litter box.

(MEOWS) (TALKING TOM MEOWS)

Mr. Fuzzypants was the last thing her father gave her, so she's really latched on.

Mmm. He wants attention, obviously.

This is our daughter, Rebecca. Hello.

TOM :You are going to tell them every word I say.

(GROANS)

Good move. Nice.

You try it.

Your dad bought this cat at my store. Did you know that?

Who cares? Just translate.

I remember, he said he wanted you to have exactly what you asked for.

Hey, cat freak, I didn't call you down here to ignore me.

(SOFTLY) Could we have a moment of privacy, please?

You and the cat?

Yeah. Okay.

(WHISPERS) You don't have time for games, Mr. Brand.

Tell them who I am.

I'm not your press agent.

(TOM MEOWING)

Well, you're a cat whisperer, and I'm pretty sure I'm still a cat!

(CONTINUES MEOWING)

Have you asked yourself how you got into this position?

I tried googling it, but you know, they don't make keyboards for paws!

You're acting like a beast and you're driving your family crazy.

These doctors can't keep you alive forever, so if you want to get out of this, you have to behave.

And if your human body goes, get used to those paws.

You'll be a cat forever.

(TOM YOWLING)

I am not eating cat food.

You'll eat cat food or else.

TOM :Oh, I'm 10 pounds and covered in fur.

What else could you possibly do to me?

This cat has not been fixed.

(SOFTLY) Don't you dare.

Oh, should I take him to the vet?

Perkins... Let's wait.

...if you so much as lay a finger on... He's made progress.

He's gonna be better now.

If he's not eating his food, using his poopy box, give me a call. I'll clip him myself.

You hear that, Fuzzypants?

I am the sixth richest person in Manhattan!

(WHISPERING) A well-behaved pet brings love and comfort to a home.

And your family needs that right now, so are you gonna behave?

You need to be a cat.

(SOBS) Okay, I'll be a cat.

Behave.

TOM :No clipping.

All the best.

All the best.

Who needs to be fixed?

TOM :Yes, letting salmon breathe all day really brings out the flavor.

Lord, help me.

How do cats eat this stuff?

(SNIFFS)

Ah... I can't.

(SIGHS) I'm starving.

(TOM GROANING SOFTLY)

Come on. Come on, Fuzzypants, you can do it. Come on.

TOM :Hold it, hold it still.

Hold it still, hold it, hold it still.

Is this supposed to be fun?

Yeah.

Just drown me.

(SIGHS)

Well, that's an improvement.

Look.

TOM :Seriously?

(MEOWING)

(PHONE RINGING) (URINATING)

Good kitty.

Public humiliation.

Hi, Josh.

Josh?

I got something I have to show you.

Look, I can't keep doing this.

No, I'm not taking no for an answer. I'm already on my way.

Yeah, I'm not gonna...

I'll text you the address, okay?

(CAT MEOWING ANGRILY)

Don't even think about it.

Come on, get out of there. I gotta get going.

Let's go.

Missing something? (LARA GASPS)

Here, kitty. Here, kitty. Here, kitty. Here, kitty.

Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Oh! (GROANING)

TOM :Sorry, honey.

Kitty, kitty. Come on, kitty, kitty.

(SCREAMS)

(GRUNTS)

Of all the cats in the world, of course Tom picked you. You're just like him.

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

Stubborn and selfish and shedding.

But here's the difference.

I'm legally barred from castrating my husband.

Drop 'em.

Good kitty. (LAUGHS)


(TOM YOWLING)

TOM :Nailed it!

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

Excuse me, who are you?

Who are you?

None of your business.

IAN :We've only got one day in Ohio, so...

You're selling the company. I'll call you back.

You're cutting the books, you're lining up a roadshow, and you got Goldman Sachs camped out in the conference room.

We're taking FireBrand public.

With the CEO in a coma? The odds that he recovers...

When he wakes up... If.

He is gonna fire every single one of you.

Calculated risk.

David, when this deal goes through, your family makes billions.

Just take the money. You don't owe Tom Brand a thing.

Hi, Josh.

This is pretty.

It's gorgeous, right?

TOM :He's an Abercrombie model?

Wait till you see this view.

(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

Hi, Josh. Hi.

LARA :We need to talk.

Let's talk inside.

No, let's just do it out here.

Where, in the grass?

I know that we've been at this for months, and you must be anxious for some kind of decision.

I can't keep seeing you.

Lara, just take a look at...

(TOM YOWLING)

Mr. Fuzzypants?

Seriously?

What are you doing here?

You know, getting out of the city is really great for a pet.

And this place just went on the market today.

TOM :Market? I can't look at any more houses.

What?

When Madison introduced us, she said you were ready to buy.

I thought I was.

New house, new job, I was ready to leave Tom.

She was leaving me.

So, what's changed?

Well, what's changed is I have this shaggy gremlin, and even when he's stalking me, he's a constant reminder, the last thing Tom did was for his daughter, and I love him.

And I love you.

LARA :I need to go. I never stopped.

(SIGHS)

Are you happy now?

Not until you are.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Dr. Cole. TOM :Uh-oh.

Bad news?

Rebecca, I was just visiting Daddy.

He is still sleeping.

REBECCA: He's getting better, though, right?

LARA :His body is getting better, but he's been sleeping so long, Dr. Cole doesn't know if he's gonna wake up.

But he could.

He could.

Mom, then it's gonna be okay.

Dad's been working so hard, he just needs extra sleep.

MEN :(ON LAPTOP) Three cool cats Three cool cats Parked on the corner in a beat-up car Dividing up a nickel candy bar

(CHUCKLES)

Talking all about how sharp they are These three cool cats

TOM :I'm so sorry, baby.

Not now.

Three cool chicks Walkin' down the street Swingin' their hips Splitting up a bag of potato chips And three cool cats did three big flips for Three cool chicks Up popped the first cool cat He said, "Man, look at that!

"Man, do you see what I see?"

"I want that middle chick!" "I want that little chick!"

"Hey, man, save one chick for me!"

Three cool chicks (CHUCKLES)

Three cool chicks

(DOORBELL RINGS)

They look like angels from up above And three cool cats really fell in love But three cool chicks made three fools of these Three cool cats Three cool cats TOM :What?

Three cool cats

What's wrong?

Oh, boy.

I'm an idiot.

(MEOWS) (CHUCKLES)

I should have been a better dad.

(CAMERA CLICKS)

Hey.

My mom said you needed company right now, so I'm volunteering my time.

REBECCA :I kind of wanna be alone right now.

You should go wash your face.

Crying really doesn't work with your complexion.

She's a wreck.

(YOWLING)

Hey!

Your stupid cat took my...

Why would you share this?

I wanted to show some boys.

If they see you when you're vulnerable, they'll wanna take care of you and...

You sent this one to half our class.

That was a joke.

You know what, my dad is in the hospital.

Explain the joke to me.

I was just trying to help.

That's what friends do.

You know what, my mom is friends with your mom, and I see you over here a lot, but stop pretending, Nicole.

We're not friends!

(GASPS)

(MEOWS)

I can't believe you just did that!

Good work, but why did you grab her phone?

Because I'm your daddy.

Ew!

TOM :Livanto, round and balanced.

I can't play, Mr. Fuzzypants.

(REBECCA EXHALES)

That was the right answer.

TOM :If this is what it takes to become human,

I will be the best cat that ever lived.


(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Hey, I brought something that's gonna wake you up.

An invitation to the grand opening of the tallest lightning rod in the Northern Hemisphere.

I miss sharing things with you, Tom.

That's why you need to wake up.

I'm not going to this thing without a date.

(GROWLS SOFTLY)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

TOM :Are you figuring this out?

Hey. I just want another look at Dad's files.

Okay.

Is everything all right?

They locked up investors this morning.

FireBrand's going to the New York Stock Exchange.

When?

They're announcing it (GRUNTS) when they open the tower.

Ian totally went behind our back. (MEOWING)

He's lined up Benson and Stein and the rest of the Board in a secret deal.

Turns out, Ian's been working on this plan for months and was waiting for the right time.

Tom would kill them.

They don't care.

(GRUNTS)

Did he leave any directives or anything?

Uh, there's a will, but he's not dead.

Yeah, I know, I know. I know.

I just hope there's something in here that'll help me fight this thing.

TOM :Damn. I'm everywhere.


(GRUNTING)

David Brand.

You're gonna need a raise.

But first, let's give you a promotion.

(LAUGHING)

STEIN :David's pulling files from legal. He's gonna fight this.

IAN :As long as we get to market, he can't do anything.

TOM :Articles of incorporation. Where are they?

IAN :I did find this in Tom's desk.

He left all his voting shares to David.

Did the audit find anything like this?

No.

David knows. He has to know.

If he knew, we wouldn't be here.

I never saw Tom hug David.

TOM :I'm not much of a hugger.

STEIN :He's got him working out of that broom closet.

I keep wanting to call Child Services.

(BOTH LAUGHING) Yo!

Well then, (SIGHS)

I never saw this. Did you?

Never.

We all appreciate the way you've handled this situation.

If Tom doesn't pull through, we want you to take the helm.

Okay, thank you. Hmm.

Hang in there. Yeah.


(GRUNTS)

(TOM YOWLS)

(THUD)


Hey, Mom.

TOM :I hand you the keys to a multi-billion dollar company and you call your mother?

Do you still have the files from the divorce?

Oh, yeah.

(DOGS BARKING) Princess, Jeanette, shut it!

All of the company records for the first 10 years are in here.

Should probably get rid of this stuff, but it makes me nostalgic.

For Dad? His money.

TOM :Well, at least you got half.

I don't know how he did it, building this company from scratch.

He never came home. That's how he did it.

Why are you doing this?

Are you waiting for him to say, "Good job"?

'Cause your father is never gonna give you that.

What's this? MADISON :Well...

What?

When your father was just starting off, he couldn't think of a name for the company, and then one day, you drew a picture of him.

He was never there, but he loved you.

It's your company, too.

You named the damn thing.

DR. COLE :It's rare for a company to be so interested in a patient.

IAN :Tom wasn't just a boss, he was a friend.

I want to know how he's doing.

He could wake up tomorrow, he could stay like this forever.

We really don't know.

Well, what are the odds? It's hard to say.

At this point, less than 1%?

If you've done your research, I don't know what else you want.

I'm concerned that you're giving his wife false hope.

I told her we don't know.

Well, you know, that makes it sound like it could go either way.

I can't tell her what to do.

I just want you to tell her the truth.

Dragging this out is so hard on this family.

Just think about it.


TOM :Lara, you're so beautiful.

Did I tell you often enough?

(MEOWS) Oh.

I just wanna say that I'm...

I'm sorry.

Hello, there. Come here.

I'm not in the mood for crazy tonight.

Good boy.

(CLICKING TONGUE)

I guess this isn't easy for you, huh, Mr. Fuzzypants?

Meeting a family like this?

Do you need a cuddle?

Somebody need a cuddle tonight?

(LARA IMITATES CAT PURRING)

Okay.

This is a special treat just for us.

Don't tell.

Sadly, I've got no one to tell.

How does that feel, huh?

Very, very sad.

Good night.

I love you.

Lara.

Lara, wake up.

(MEOWING)

Are you trying to be my hairdresser?

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Send him right up.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Do you have a company to sell?

No, the tower opening's tonight and I didn't see your name on the list.

I'm not getting out much.

We'd love to have you.

I'm sure you would.

Lara, we all miss Tom very much.

And maybe it's not my place to say this, but you have to know.

He's not coming back. Mom?

Go back to your room, Rebecca.

What is he talking about?

Just get ready for school, okay, sweetie?

(SIGHS)

You don't know what you're talking about.

The doctors say he has a chance.

I understand. If I were you, I would do anything to keep him alive.

But this could go on for months. I can wait.

Or years. And he never wakes up.

And Rebecca, she needs to mourn, she can't do that if she's waiting for a father who's never coming home.

Ian, don't...

(YOWLING) (GASPS)

No! (GROANS) Oh!

Get this off of me!

(YELPING)

Please! Get this beast off of me.

(LARA GASPS)

(HISSES)

All right, in the cage.

TOM :What did I do?

You are going into the cage.

That cat is feral, and you need to take it to the pound.

This is a brand new suit!

(CAT MEOWING ANGRILY)

He just clawed you before I could.

Lara... I am not an idiot.

You're not here because you care about me or about Rebecca or about Tom.

And I am not unplugging my husband to help your bottom line.

Bye, Mom. Wait, honey, I'll walk you to school.

No, it's okay, Mom. It's only a couple of blocks and I'm 11.

LARA :Okay.

(MEOWS)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

I understand. You want to protect Rebecca.

And I want to protect the company.

But we both need the same thing.

Goodbye, Ian.

(SCOFFS)

(SIGHS)

Where's my dry cleaning?

Mr. Cox, you're scheduled at the tower.

Yeah, I know. Tell the Board I'm running late.

Oh, they're in Mr. Brand's office. What?

But I moved up your meeting with the event planner.

Why aren't you at the tower?

You called a meeting. IAN :I didn't call a meeting.

David called the meeting.

Were you gonna tell me?

He said he just needed the Board.

TOM :You figured it out.

Where's the Board?

I sent them ahead to the tower.

Sorry they missed your meeting.

That's okay. We'll do it there.

We're gonna have a little vote.

Yeah, you know, you're not going to the opening.

Really? Yeah. Mr. Brand no longer works for us.

He's right. I own the company.

Not yet. Please escort him off the property.

Don't touch me.

Ian, you do this, I will come at you with an army of lawyers.

Go ahead. Sue me.

Do it tomorrow when we're both rich.

Do you really think you can steal FireBrand with a couple of bouncers?

And you think you can stop me with a note from Daddy?

Your father's dying. You lost his company.

At the end of the day, you're not Tom Brand.

(SCOFFS)

(CATS MEOWING)

FEMALE CAT :(CHUCKLES) Look who's back.

MALE CAT :I knew you'd be back.

Look who's here.

(BELLS JINGLE)

What can I do for you, birthday girl?

I want you to take the cat back.

What's he done?

He's been great. It's just...

I think they might wanna take him away and maybe he'd be better off back here.

I get returns all the time.

Some cats just don't take to their new family.

When I met your father, I hoped it would work out.

I know it's stupid, but sometimes I feel like my dad's looking out for me through the cat.

You miss him.

I do. I love my dad so much.

And he loves you, but it's not enough to say you love someone.

You have to show it. Sometimes, love means sacrifice.

You have to show it.

When you came to the house, you were talking to him.

It's what I do. I'm a cat whisperer.

Yeah, but you were talking to him like he was a person.

Is this cat my dad?

TOM :Perkins, listen. You have to tell her.

What do you think? Well, he makes me feel like my dad's still around more than he ever was before.

Sometimes, I almost wish my daddy was more like the cat.

But I really just want my daddy back. (PHONE RINGING)

Excuse me a minute.

I'm gonna show you something.

I'll be right back.

Wait.

FEMALE CAT :You should stay with us.

A cat's life is so much better.

TOM :Thanks, but no thanks.

MALE CAT :We're cold, selfish, and people still love us.

TOM :That's not who I wanna be.

Three cool cats Three cool cats TOM :May I have this dance?

Parked on the corner in a beat-up car Dividing up a nickel candy bar Talking all about how sharp they are These three cool cats

Three cool chicks

(MONITOR BEEPING)

Clear.

(THUMPS)

Rebecca's gonna kill me.

(GASPS)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hello.

"I want that middle chick!" "I want that little chick!"

"Hey, man, save one chick for me!"

Three cool chicks Three cool chicks

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hey, everything all right?

And three cool cats really fell in love But three cool chicks made three fools of these Three cool cats Three cool cats

(MUSIC STOPS)

You still wanna return the cat?

No. (TOM MEOWS)

If you want your dad back, you should get going.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

I think he might be running out of time.

(SNIFFLES)

Dad, when they open the tower tonight...

Get down. (GROWLS)

We're not seeing any cerebral activity at all.

I just don't want to give you false hope.

There's a possibility he's not coming back.

Mom, Dad's still here.

Can you give us a minute?

You know how the cat's been acting funny?

Well, that's because it's Dad.

Rebecca... Listen, I can prove it.

Let's talk outside.

Come on.

Mom, I'm not making it up.

Oh, look, I know how you feel. I miss him, too.

You'll see, Mommy. He's really alive in the cat.

(SHUSHING)

(WHISPERING) I screwed up, Dad.

TOM :What are you talking about?

I spent my whole life waiting for a sign that I was making you proud.

When I finally got it, I let you down.

I lost everything.

I can't live with that.

(TOM GRUNTING)

I don't know if you're still in there, but you won't wanna miss this.

(TOM GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

'Cause I'm gonna take my first jump.

(CHUCKLES)

And my last jump right off of that tower.

TOM :No, David!

Goodbye, Dad. I love you.

(GRUNTS)

So how does this work?

You'll need to sign a DNR.

TOM :DNR?

They're pulling the plug on me?

And then we'll take out the respirator.

Daddy.

Mom, remember how me and Dad used to dance together?

Yeah. Just watch, okay? We'll show you, okay?

Daddy, come here.

Daddy. Daddy.

We need to show Mommy our dance.

Come here.

Daddy.

PERKINS :Love means sacrifice.

TOM :Love means sacrifice.

REBECCA :Daddy! Daddy!

TOM :I'm spending the rest of my life in a litter box.

REBECCA :Daddy.

Daddy!

Daddy! Daddy, come here! We have to show her!

Daddy! Daddy! What are you doing? My baby.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry. (BOTH SOBBING)

(CROWD APPLAUDING)

IAN :Thank you. Isn't she beautiful?

1,900 feet of glass and steel.

Now, you can tell I'm a bit of a numbers guy, so, for me, this tower's more than a legacy.

Its 2.8 million square feet of pristine office space.

(GROWLS)

(YOWLING)

IAN :Before I even cut a ribbon, we've leased 65% of the tallest building in New York.

And we're already in negotiations for the rest of it.

(MEOWING)

(SCREECHING)

IAN :We can be so much more.

But this company is greater than the sum of its parts.

Beyond real estate, in the last year, we've enjoyed record earnings.

Global retail. (CROWD APPLAUDING)

But before we move on with our big announcement, we have a special guest who'd like to say a few words.

Please welcome Mayor Edwards.

Thank you, Ian.

New York...

We're gonna tell Daddy how much we love him.

David?

I like to take a moment of... TOM :Hey.

Wake up in there. Let me in.

EDWARDS :For the dreamer who made all this possible.

(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)

Tom Brand.

Now I'm gonna turn this back to Mr. Cox.

We all wish Tom was here, but someone's gotta cut the ribbon.

(GLASS SQUEAKING)

TOM :Oh, come on!

(YOWLING)

(MEOWING)

PERKINS :Wait!

Thank goodness you found him.

That thing is yours?

That's Mr. Fuzzypants. He keeps escaping.

What kind of name is Fuzzypants?

Please.

Thank you.

(MEOWS)

You little Houdini.

He won't bother you anymore. I promise.

He tried to scratch me.

That must have been so scary for you.

(CHUCKLES) Fuzzypants.

Thank you.

That was some bold move you made back there, Mr. Brand.

TOM :Thank you, Perkins.

If it was me, I'd have stayed at the hospital.

Guess I'm moving into your shop.

No, 'cause you're not gonna make it.

What? Wait!

(TOM YOWLS)

(WIND WHISTLING)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Wait, this is the best part.

Whoa! (BOTH CONTINUE LAUGHING)

(TOM MEOWS)

BOTH :Whoa!

BOTH :Whoa.

Should we call animal control? No.

We got Tasers.

Right. Let's do this.

(LAUGHING)

All right, kitty, just stand still.

TOM :The sad thing is I'll never get to fire you.

We're gonna break the Internet.

(TOM MEOWS)

(TASER CRACKLING) (GROANING)

GUARD 1 :Sorry! Sorry!

GUARD 2 :Did you have to set it to boil?

(GRUNTING)

Look, you idiot.

Oh, God.

We got a man on the roof. We are gonna need fire, paramedics...

And animal control.

GUARD 1 :We got a man on the roof. We got a man on the roof.

Who's on the roof? (ALL GASP)

WOMAN :He's going to jump!

(SOFTLY) David.

Don't even think about it.

(YOWLS) (BOTH GASP)

GUARD 1 :Sir, get down from there.

GUARD 2 :Step away from the ledge.

TOM :David, wait!

(TOM YOWLS)

TOM :Oh.

Mr. Fuzzypants?

(MEOWS)

(GRUNTS)

(MEOWS SOFTLY)

TOM :My son... Whoo.

You were a man all along.

(SIGHS)

Meow, that hurt.

Tom? Tom? Dad.

Oh, baby. Oh, I missed you so much.

IAN :Well, it's good to see Tom's spirit alive and well.

As soon as security takes care of this...

(CROWD APPLAUDING)

Come on.

Whoo! (IAN GRUNTING)

Good evening, everybody.

So, I hear Ian doesn't want to talk about Chicago.

You know, we may not have the tallest building, but we do have the tallest building anyone has ever BASE jumped off.

Let's hear it for David Brand.

And I'm proud to announce that tomorrow, FireBrand...

FireBrand has always been a family business and nothing is going to change that.

I see the Board's all here.

Let's take a vote.

Fifty-one percent against going public.

And you're fired. Good luck.

Thank you very much! (APPLAUSE)

Ian Cox, ladies and gentlemen.

Give the little guy a hand.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Lara?

David. David, he's awake.

Yep. Your dad's awake.

Okay, I'll be right there.

Welcome back, Dad.

No, I can handle the SEC.

Just get me on the phone with Goldman... PERKINS :Sir...

You might want to hang up. Excuse me?

You're not going to like where this call is going.

Thank you. Sorry, some nutcase.

Listen, we can still take him to court.

(TIRES SCREECHING) (HORN HONKING)

PERKINS :Ian...

Ian?

Gotta be honest.

I don't know how you're gonna get out of this.

IAN :I hate cats.

PERKINS: That's what makes this so perfect.

TOM :You probably want to hear that I've learned something, that I've changed...

Well, I still think cats are horrible beasts that would eat you in your sleep if they ran out of food.

They're selfish animals. That's for sure.

But I'm not one of them.

Not anymore.

(BELLS JINGLE)

(HISSING)

Be quiet. Shush.

Mr. Brand.

You look like a new man.

What can I do for you?

I know we can't replace Fuzzypants, but we were wondering...

If you have any dogs.

No.

But only yesterday, an old friend stopped by.

Used up eight of his lives, and he tells me he'd like to spend his last life with you.

Fuzzypants.

So, that's a no on the dog, then.