November Rule (2015) Script

♪ Baby ♪

♪ I'm stuck in the middle, and I don't know why ♪

♪ I find the words you sing to me ♪

♪ Are sweeter than the words of a bird in the sky ♪

♪ Oh, the days you came around ♪

♪ I feel so good for me ♪

♪ I can take most anything ♪ Hmm...

♪ 'Cause what you bring... ♪ That was fun last night.

Yeah, it was.

I was talking about the Halloween party.


Yeah, that was nice, too.

What you have going on today?

Have to do that pitch for the small business loan.

Oh, yeah.

I don't even know what I'm gonna say to them.

You should come up with a really catchy tagline, like...

"To fit in... and to stand out."

Did you just come up with that right now?

I'm kind of an advertising genius.

Oh, ho, and you're kind of really...

And you would sell tennis shoes?

Oh, no, not tennis shoes.


Uh, they're... They're fashion.

They're sportswear.

They're collectibles, and some go for thousands of dollars.

You want to open up a store to sell

$1,000 sneakers... In here?

No. I mean, we would have some of those, right, but... But we would focus more on the affordable, specialty lines.

I think I'm choking.

Wait, see, this whole mummy thing was your idea.

Look what it's doing.

We won, didn't we?

We did.

Just in time to kick off the holiday season.

The holiday season? Mm hmm.

Well, Thanksgiving is just three weeks away.

We could take a trip...

Not during the holidays because the airfare's too high, but maybe right afterwards.

Gentlemen... Wait.

I need to call my partner.

You really need to talk with him.

My partner understands the vision of what we're tr...

Gentlemen, thank you.

Leah? Mm?

How many times did you hit the snooze button?

Oh, my God. Oh, shit.

Oh, my God, I'm so late.


Babe, you know where my other, uh...

Where's my other... Oh. Here.

Want me to zip you up?

Yes, please. I am so late.

I should've showered.

I wonder where he is.

Hope he wasn't hit by a truck or crushed in an industrial press or...

Excuse me.

My meeting started 20 minutes ago.

Hey, I'm on my way. On my way.

Steven, you're keeping a loan officer waiting.

Stall her. Don't let her leave.

I lost track of time, I'll be there in like, seven... I'll be there.

Six, eight minutes. Okay. Bye bye.


What'd he say? I'm gonna kill him.

Do you understand?

You and I are going to kill him.

Gentlemen, thank you so much for your time.

Uh, wait, uh...

You really need to hear Kareem's design concept for the store.

Right, my design concept.

Oh, yeah, yeah. My design concept, it is hot.

Go, go, go, go. Okay.

Morning, Stacey.

Good morning, Stacey.

Have a good day.

Did you brush your teeth?

I don't care.

Hey, so right here, we have a counter but, like, a super badass counter.

Ah, but classy.

But also street.

Street and classy.

Gentlemen, I really have heard enough, and I'm afraid that in this economy, opening a specialty store for tennis shoes...

Sneakers, actually.

What's the difference?

First of all, I'm sorry for being late.

Let me explain the difference.

Tennis shoes are for playing tennis, Ms. Worther.

Sneakers... Are for life.

Sneakers... Are for love.

"Sneakers are for love"?

When you see a certain pair, it's kind of like meeting a beautiful woman who's also smart and funny and could just totally hang and you know she's the one.

Did you just compare women to a pair of shoes?


They're both complex and interesting, but they're not just shoes.

There's a story behind every pair, every new release.

They reflect the history of the year they came out.

They show who's tops in sports and fashion and music.

The sneakers you wear, that's how you tell the world who and what you identify with, and the true sneakerhead has a curated collection and wears a very specific shoe for each occasion, and I bet, without discussing this beforehand, the guys can tell me exactly what shoes they wore...

When they lost their virginity.

Black Air Flight Ones.

The KD4 Galaxy.

Those came out, like, two years ago.

Shut up, Dude.

So, we are not just talking about shoes, Jean.

We're talking about personal expression.

We're talking about a wearable diary.

With your help, this store will be the place for people to come when they want to fit in and stand out.

Ha! Oh!

You missed the client meeting.

We over slept. "We"?

Well, La-di-da. Details, please.

Did Lance notice that I was missing?

Um, yeah. Oh, he's coming.

Listen, tell him there was a wreck on the 405 and you got trapped in that dead zone next to the Getty so you didn't have cell service.

Okay, do it, do it.

Leah, nice of you to show up.

Lance, I'm so sorry that I'm late. Mm hmm.

I over slept.

My office, now.

Hey, we give you gold, and you throw it away?

♪ Spread the word ♪

♪ I'll be there, I'll be there ♪

♪ Any time that you need me ♪ Did you see that? Did you see that?

Half an hour late. Fifteen minutes.

Uh, 22. No, no.

I'm talking. I'm jiving. They don't give a shit.

Nick even tried to bore them to death.

I walked them through the prospectus.

No, no, she fell asleep for, like, a second, maybe not, like, a deep REM sleep, but homegirl passed out.

Whatever, Kareem.

They're giving us nothing, right, and this guy shows up with his sneakers talking about love and, uh, women and, uh...

What was that slogan again?

"To fit in, to stand out."

Leah actually came up with that this morning.

That's gold, my brother. That is gold!

We need a good tag, something like "Good for him, good for you, good for the planet." Like that, only... Gooder.

Right, but this stuff isn't good for them.

It's not good for the planet.

It's not organic, it's not even all natural.

Leah, we are not the FDA.

We are an advertising company, and they would like to appeal to the yoga yuppie set, and that's what we need to give them.

But if it comes across like a lie...

If the consumer can't read the ingredients and figure out that they're not "Organic," then, well, that's their problem.

I'm not drinking beer at 11:30 in the morning.

Because Ivy won't allow it?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, has nothing to do with Ivy.

All right, then.

Raise a bottle to your childhood best friend who just secured our business loan.

After showing up 22 minutes late?

Fifteen, and it's moot. Yeah.

That shit is moot, Nick. It's moot.

You closed it. Wait. Hold on.

Nothing is closed until the money's in the bank, but I still would like to raise a beer with my best friends for luck.

To our childhood dreams come true.

Come on, Man. Shit.

Fine, fine.

Attaboy, Nicky!

Instead of misleading them, I mean, why not Uh-huh?

Focus on another aspect of the product?

Because that's not what the client wants.

I put you on this key account because you deliver.

Don't, don't, don't... That's three don'ts...

Make me regret this.



Ivy will kill me.

I promised to stop drinking for awhile.

That is so sad. You see?

That's what happens when you get married, but not me.

No, thank you. As you haven't had a date in the last two years, I think you're in the clear.

No, no, I'm serious, and now Steve with his "Sneakers is love."

Now, that's how you used to talk before you popped the question to Ivy.

Oh, really? Really.

You're next, Man.

I feel it, just a matter of time.

Not me. I'm gonna be the last man standing.

I'm not gonna propose to Leah.

I'm breaking up with her.

Are you serious? What the hell's wrong with you?

You're into this girl.

Why are you breaking up with her?

It's November 1st.

Oh, right, November rule.

Man, this year went crazy fast, right?

Please tell me you're still not doing that stupid November rule thing.

It's not stupid.

Christmas presents are expensive, Man.

It's not about the gifts.

Yeah, not entirely.

It's all of it. It's everything.

It's the shopping. It's the crowds.

It's meeting her family, the pressure to buy her the perfect gift, one that doesn't disappoint... Right.

But doesn't fast forward the relationship too much.

Then you got the let down of New Year's Eve, the forced romanticism of Valentine's Day.

No girl is worth three months of that nonsense.

Hey, Man, unbelievable.

I've never seen a man go to so much trouble to stop dating a woman during the holidays.

I mean, this is the same guy who told a woman he was a born again Christian...

♪ Oh, Baby, you got what I need... ♪ A gang banger...

♪ But you say he's just a friend... ♪ A plushy...

That was a good one.

You also lied about joining the military.

That's low.

♪ Oh, Baby, you... ♪ And batting for the other team.

♪ Got what I need ♪

♪ But you say he's just a friend ♪

♪ But you say he's just... ♪ You're making a big mistake.

♪ Oh, Baby, you... ♪ Hey, how's it going?

Swell. Wow, that's not good.


I know it's advertising, but I just hate misleading people.

It's not my thing. Well, you made an interesting career choice, didn't you?

Um, hey, changing subjects, let's talk about you and your man.

I need to live vicariously through you.

You guys have any plans this weekend?

Yes, actually, we do.

Steve and I have been doing this thing where we surprise each other with fun things that we've never done before.

It's my turn this weekend.

You guys are so frigging cute.

So, uh, does he have a brother for me?

I don't know, I haven't met his family yet.

Come on. How long have you guys been dating?

It's been, like, five or six months.

Five or six... You know exactly how long you've been dating.

Come on.

Six months next week.

God, you're so lucky.

There is nothing worse than being single during the holidays.

Here's a novel idea.

Why not just tell them the truth?

What? No.

Are you crazy?

You do not, under any circumstances, reveal the November rule.

Never. Ladies do not understand.

They're built different, different wiring.

And here I thought you and Leah had a real shot.

And we still might.

I just have to revisit the situation after the holidays when the pressure's off.

You got issues, Bro, deep down issues.

Hmm, married dudes, they just don't get what us players are all about.

I'm gonna break it to her gently.

We're going out tonight, so all I need is a quiet moment.

Listen to me, My Darlings.

Okay, everybody.

Look at your partner. Muy bien. Uh, Fella.

Oh. Good.

Now, this is not your dance partner.

Oh, no. No, no.

This is your prey because you are a hunter.

So, now, go kill!

Go out there now and feed on the carcass of dance.

And dance.

She's a little intense.

Shh, I'm feeding on the carcass of dance.

I can't believe I let you talk me into this.

Now, did I complain when you signed us up for paintball classes last weekend?

You were a natural.

I was, wasn't I?

I also still have bruises on my butt.

It's still a very nice butt.

Thank you for noticing.

Oh, look at your loins.

They're on fire, Baby, so use them.

What... What are you doing?

What are you... No.

This is not a Chippendale's class.

She likes your loins.

Well, who doesn't? There's fire in them.



Nice moves, Mister. Back at you.

All the girls at the holiday parties are gonna be jealous of me. Parties?

Well, my company throws this Christmas gala every year.

There's a dance floor and band, the whole thing.

Usually, they're pretty boring, but this year, I have a hot date.

Well, we'll see.

Dance! Hey!

Maybe I'll finally meet your family?

Meet my family? No, I'm going to be really...

Busy for the next few months.

Oh, you are? Yeah, my Aunt Hildy.

Pretty sure I told you about her before.

We're really close.

No, you haven't.

That's funny, she practically raised me.

This is the first time you're mentioning her.

Uh, well, anyway, she's sick right now.

She's, like, really sick, and I'm gonna have to take care of her.

I'm the one she gets along with the best, so I feel responsible and I'm gonna have to be there all the time making sure she's okay.

Well, I'm sorry that she's not doing well.

I wish I knew this was happening.

You should let me help.

No, I can't ask you to do that.

This is something I need to do alone.


Kids, you feel her pull back and forth, right?

Want her, but you...

You cannot have her.

Want him, but he turns away.

Oh, the ecstasy and agony of love.

I think what I'm saying is... Is...

This isn't a good time for me to be dating right now.

Wait, what?

Can we go somewhere else and talk about this?

No, you just said that it's not a good time for you to be dating.

What does that mean, I don't understand what that means. Well, it just means that I don't have a lot to offer right now and I really want you to understand.

Whoa. Are you breaking up with me?

I don't want to, but I...

I got this sick aunt, I got the store opening, I got so much going on right now, I'm just not in a position to give you the kind of relationship that you deserve.

So, you're breaking up with me... in front of a tango class because of your sick aunt Hildy, who you're really close to but you've never mentioned before.

Is that right? Let's go somewhere else and talk. I don't understand.

What we have, this is... I don't know, I thought it was really good.

What we have is good.

I just don't want it to go bad.

Well, Steve, this... This right here, this is it going bad... Right now.


Buena suerte.

What did she just say? I don't speak Spanish.

You're a stupid boy who has no balls, and you don't deserve to dine at the table of love.

She just said all that?

I said it. She said, "Good luck."

So, good luck.

Back to class.

This is what tango's all about.

♪ Couldn't break up ♪

Sick aunt, huh? That's a new one.

Yeah. I feel bad, but I had to.

She was talking about going next level.

Vacations together...

Meeting the family.

Well, she gave you no choice.

Yeah, right.

The look in her face killed me.

The man doesn't do holidays.

So, now I just bide my time until late February till after Aunt Hildy either dies or has a miraculous recovery...

Give her a call back...

And we restart the clock.

Dude, you're a romantic genius.

Yeah, what a genius if she's still around.

What? Uh! Oh!

Nice shot, Dude.

He's an asshole.

Look, he feels an obligation to his aunt.

I can understand that.


See? This is perfect.

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them."

Now, Steve has told you who he is.

He's a flaky commitment phobe who puts you behind some suspicious sounding sick aunt, work, holidays, and everything else.

You're right. I know you're right.

It's not me. It's the books.

The books are always right.

It's just... I really liked him.

I know.

I'll be fine.

We're not gonna waste another minute moping over this guy.

We'll find you another one.

Dating is a numbers game.

Come on. What?

Okay, I'm connected with 1,034 guys.

I'll fix you up.

I've been single about two hours.

Tick tock, Lady, we don't got no time to waste.

Broke. He's short.

Oh, he's cute. He's gay.

Really? Lives with his mom.

Lies about his age.

This one got bad breath.

Hair plugs?

Oh, my gosh. Come on. Come on.

We got to stay focused. You can see...

Stay focused.

Bad credit. Gassy.

He's a crybaby, and he's still in jail.

That's not gonna work. No.

Nobody in jail. Uh uh.

Ha! This one got man boobs.

No man boobs. No.

And he "Only dates Asian chicks."

In other words, he got a...

For real?

Cheap. Has three kids.

I like kids.

You like having three baby mamas around for the rest of your life?

How crazy does that sound?


That's it?

Ugh, all those guys, and not one of them is dateable?



Hello, Steve, This is Jean Worther from Downtown National Bank.

I've got some pretty good news for you.

Now we have something to be thankful for.

It's a loan, not prize money.

Let's not get too happy.

Come on, Bro. Somebody believes in us.

We should be happy right now. It's a big deal.

It is pretty cool.

I mean, we're small business owners, us.

That's crazy.

Who you calling? Ivy.

She's gonna flip.

You see, Stevie, when exciting things happen, I want to share it with those I care about.

That's just something us human beings do.

What we don't do is decide who we care about based on what month it is.

Come on, Man, don't you kind of wish you could call Leah right now just a little?

No. I'm good right now, Man.

May I remind you that because of November rule, our man Steve here is gonna be solely and wholeheartedly committed to the opening of the most badass store the world has ever known.

No holiday stuff, no parties, no weekend trips, no family outings, no fun, right, Steve?

Right, no distractions.

My man.

Okay. We have to have a serious talk about your social media profile.

I'm sorry?

You never post.

Your profile isn't complete, and your main photo is a cartoon.

It's a Degas. Who cares?

I mean, you're in advertising. You need to sell yourself.

So, I've taken it upon myself to make a few aesthetic adjustments to your profile.

Don't do... Don't worry.

Everybody does it.

Wow. That looks real.

Retouching is my art.

No, no, no, no, no. Don't post that.

We didn't really meet him. It...

Steve doesn't know that. It's a lie.

Making exes jealous is my favorite part of the World Wide Web.

It's done. Looks good.

♪ And now she's far, far away ♪

♪ And I'd do anything just to see her face ♪

♪ But she's far, far away ♪

♪ Walk a thousand miles just to see her smile again ♪

♪ It's cold putting up a fight ♪

♪ Arguing back and forth through the night ♪

♪ Regardless what I said, I don't mean most of it ♪

♪ You know I really love you ♪

♪ It's the realest gonna get ♪

♪ It take time to realize what you really wanna know ♪

♪ You was ready for it all but your feelings I ignored ♪

♪ I know, my fault, I should've gave more ♪

♪ Now you're miles away, and I'm miles on tour ♪

♪ Now it's drums playing ♪

♪ Crowd singing, life changing ♪

♪ Wish you was here to witness all ♪

♪ Now that starts fading ♪

♪ They say two wrongs don't make it right ♪

♪ And I was wrong, now it ain't right ♪

♪ 'Cause she's far, far away ♪

♪ And I'd do anything just to see her face ♪

♪ But she's far, far away ♪

♪ Walk a thousand miles just to see her smile again ♪

♪ If I could turn back ♪

♪ If I could make it right ♪

♪ I'd do just that ♪

♪ If I could make it right ♪

♪ I'd do it all tonight ♪

♪ Hold you in my arms ♪

♪ With you I'd spend my life ♪

♪ Na na na na ♪

♪ If I could turn back ♪

♪ If I could make it right ♪

♪ I'd do just that, I'd do just that for you ♪

♪ If I could turn back, come back here again ♪

♪ 'Cause she's far, far away ♪

♪ And I'd do anything just to see her face ♪

♪ But she's far... ♪ Oh!

I'm sorry. Sorry.

Um, James.

I know, I'm Leah.

♪ Far, far away ♪

♪ If I could make it right, I'll do just that ♪

♪ If I could make it right, I'd do it all tonight ♪

♪ Hold you in my arms ♪

♪ With you I'd spend my life ♪

♪ Na na na na ♪

♪ If I could turn back, if I could make it right ♪

♪ I'd do just that, I'd do just that ♪

♪ Far away, far away ♪ Stalker! Ah, shit.

Come on, man. That ain't right.

That ain't right.

Like you never done it. I haven't.

I'm happy with my woman, and from what I saw, you were, too, but a girl like that, she won't be single long.

Why is it that you people in relationships want everybody else to be in one, too?

Is it because you just can't stand the thought of everybody else being single and free and having fun and hooking up?

Is that what you're doing?

Having fun, hooking up, being single?

Because it doesn't look like that.

Yo, right, right, right. Uh, yeah.

We're kind of busy right now, you know, new store, but I'll tell you what, uh, why don't you go ahead and RSVP us, and, uh...

Yeah, and we will move some stuff around, and, uh, and try to make it.

All right, Dawg. Late.

Who's the man? Who is the man?

Is it you, Kareem?

Damn right, it's me.

Power forward, James Avedon just got a major new shoe deal, and that publicist I said we should hire just got us an invite to a sneaker release party being held at his very own club.

What, what? Whoa.

Anybody who's anybody is gonna be on that red carpet, and we will be there, too.

With our best sneakers on.

I'm breaking out the big guns.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You don't mean the big guns.

I've been saving them for just the right moment.

No, no. You can't wear those.

Those are meant to be admired, appreciated.

Those belong in a museum, Dude.

Those belong on the red carpet.

♪ I can't be bought and sold ♪

♪ So maybe you should let me be ♪

♪ I'm gonna do my thing ♪ Only 72 pairs ever made.

One of the rarest sneakers in existence.

♪ I'm gonna do my thing ♪

♪ I'm gonna do my thing ♪

♪ I'm gonna do my thing ♪

♪ I'm gonna do my thing ♪

♪ I'm gonna do my thing ♪ The Undefeated Jordan IV's.

The Holy Grail of sneakers.

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Can't you see that ♪

♪ You cannot control the man I am ♪

♪ I am not a puppet on your string ♪ I got to say, wearing the Jordans was a great idea.

Press loves them.

The man of the hour himself will be jealous of these.

Yo, I still can't believe you're rocking them.

Some people stock them. Some people rock them.

Oh, that's good. I like that.

♪ I'm gonna do my thing ♪

Oh, there he is.

♪ I'm gonna do my thing ♪ That's...

Oh, hey, that looks like...

Leah. Oh, shit.

Thank you.

Are you gonna freak out?

Because I think I would freak out.

Wait, don't freak out.

It's cool. It's cool. I got it.

World-famous basketball player kisses my ex, I... I would freak out.


Whoa, hey, you okay?

Yeah, I'm good.

Ahem. I'm sorry. Hi, Steve.

You look amazing, Leah.

Steve, do you know James?

Only as a fan.

Nice to meet you, Man. Nice to meet you.

James has a wonderful charity that I have been volunteering at over the weekends, and Steve and I... uh...

Steve is trying to open an amazing sneaker store.

It's actually happening. We got the loan.

Really? Got it.

That's so great, Steve. Thank you.

Hey, Girl. I'm gonna go...

No way! Oh!

You just spilled girly red drink all over my gray Yeezys!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Whoa. Dude, you want to put club soda on those kicks.

They're just shoes, Nick.

Can't you see I'm trying to talk to the pretty lady in the dress?

Uh, you'll have to excuse my friend.

I don't think he realizes that lightning just struck right here.

Really? Lightning?

Oh, yeah, lightning, yeah, right here, right now between me and you.

It went, "Bam!"

Don't tell me you didn't feel it because I'm not gonna believe that.

I'm Kareem, by the way, Hey. And you are... A fox.

Let me get you another drink.


Are those what I think they are?

They are, indeed. Nice.

You know I'm a bit of a sneakerhead myself.

Really? Yeah, if I didn't play pro ball, I'd probably open up a sneaker shop.

Leah, you never said you knew James Avedon.

Hi. Hey, Man.

This is my partner, Nick.

Oh, cool.

How long you two been together?

Oh, hilarious. No.

Business partners. I... I got a girl...

We opened up the store. And she's not here, but she's fine.

She's... Bro, Bro, Bro.

Your sneakers, I'm feeling them, Man.

That's real dope color work.

Oh, thank you, Man. Thank you.

Uh, you know, we tried to go for something a little aggressive.

Yeah. I see that, you went with the graphite sole trim.

It's a major step up from the first generation Iversons.

Yo, that is some impressive sneaker knowledge.

It's my business.

I can't wait to see your shop.

Why wait? Why not rep us?

I mean, I heard you always wanted to open your own store.

Nick, don't put him on the spot like that.

No. No, no, no. It's okay.

It's okay, yeah, I'm flattered.

No, I'm sure it'll probably be a conflict of interest or something.

No, no, you know, as long as you carry the brand.

Oh, we will, uh, be great to have you for advertising and in store appearances.

Yo, Leah, what do you think, me go into business with your old friends?

It sounds great. All right, you know, I have to have my lawyers look it over, but, yeah, sure, let's talk.

Excuse me, Mr. Avedon. Can we have a picture?

Sorry. Duty calls.

This is so big, I got to find Kareem.

Wow. We've been broken up for three weeks, and you already got a new boyfriend?

You broke up with me, and he's not my boyfriend.

Okay. But we are dating.

So, I see you guys aren't dating exclusively.

That's a part of his job.

I thought his job was to play basketball.

How's your aunt, Steve?

Hildy is... She's better, actually.

I'm not having to spend as much time with her as I thought. That is really good because it is terrible to be sick over the holidays.

Oh, who's sick?

Steve's Aunt Hildy.

Yeah, Man, she's having a bit of a rough time right now.

This might be her last Christmas.

I thought you just said she was doing better.

She doing better, but still not good, so she's bad, but not good, but she's doing better than it was before.

Sorry to hear that.

I think Steve's aunt... Is perfect for a Christmas Dream Wish.

Wow! Yeah, you know, that's a great idea. Yeah.

What is a Christmas Dream Wish?

James charity.

He grants wishes to sick people over the holidays. And I would love to help out a friend of Leah's.

What do you think your aunt would wish for for the holidays, anything? You know what?

Aunt Hildy, she is, like, a really, really simple woman, so all she probably wants is just for us to come together for the holidays, so you can keep your Christmas Dream to yourself. You know what? No, no, no.

That's perfect. It's perfect.

Why don't... Why don't I throw a big Christmas dinner for your whole family?

You know, we'll fly people in from out of town and all expenses paid.

Oh, no, you're too kind. We couldn't.

Oh, sure, you can. Sure, you can, Man.

It's for your sick aunt. You can't say no.

Plus, Leah will help out, won't you, Dear?

Of course. We are gonna make this the best Christmas your aunt ever had.

Great. Great. That's so sweet.

Do you mind if we get another picture?


Hey, hey, hey.


Who the hell invited you?

Hey, do you guys know each other?

Well, Leah's my roommate, and Steve is Leah's ex-boyfriend, and James is her new one.

I thought you said he wasn't your boyfriend.

Clearly, you didn't get the memo.

Who wrote the memo?

I did, Bitch.

Hey, Guys, fun party.

I can't believe you would ask that guy to be a part of our store.

He tryna to get on my girl.

You totally ruined my chances with the sexiest girl to give me her number in years.

You guys are out of your minds.

This was a great night.

Do you realize what it would mean if James Avedon lent his name to the store?

Maybe I don't want his name on my store.

You ever think about that?

Then you're an idiot.

How do you know Steve?

We dated for a few months, but it didn't work out.

Well, may I ask what happened?

He couldn't figure it out.

Figure what out?

How to date me.

Well, I can't imagine a man being that stupid, but... Glad he is.

♪ Everything I want she has and a little more ♪

♪ Everywhere I go, she's been before ♪

♪ Everyone I love is in love with her ♪

♪ Wouldn't it be nice to be that girl? ♪

♪ Everything I want she has and a little more ♪

♪ Everywhere I go, she's been before ♪

♪ Everyone I love is in love with her ♪

♪ Wouldn't it be nice to be that girl? ♪

♪ Walking down the street... ♪ Hey, Kareem, can you pass me the stud finder?



Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's happening?

What? It's like it just found a stud, like, the biggest stud ever.

Hilarious. No one has ever used that joke in the history of building shit.

Well, hello.

Hey, James.

James, we said, uh, Thursday, right?

Yeah. You know, I just had a little time on my schedule, so I thought we'd squeeze this in, but what in the hell is going on in here, Man?

This place looks like a dump.

Oh, no, no, no. Don't worry. We'll be ready.

You gonna be ready? Yeah.

You a long way from that, Homeboy.

Yo, uh, y'all got anything to drink up in here, Man?

Yeah, we got some tap water in the back.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

You know, some Yag, some vodka, some beer, something, shit.

Oh, no, we weren't expecting guests.

Suit and tie's my lawyer.

Let's do this.

This here's my contract to rep your store.

And who is this?

Oh, this?

Well, this is my accountant, Cashmere.

You really different than you were the other night.

I was with my public, Man.

I mean, you know how that is. No, I don't.

That's because it's not for everybody, but if you want them endorsements, you know, you got to be endorsable, but, you know, you got to dress the part, talk the part, act like a chump.

You could probably do that.

You know what, we're just gonna look this over then we'll get back to you.

Okay, cool, you do that, Tough Guy, and when you're done looking it over, go ahead and sign it.

Yo, Stevie, are we gonna have a problem because I'm with your ex-girl?

Let's leave Leah out of this.

Okay, you right.

My bad, but we all know you gonna sign them papers, no matter what they say, because you need me.

I mean, Snowflake, have you seen how my sneakers are selling?

Yeah. It's crazy, right?

You know why? No.

Because James Avedon is a legend.


Oh, wasn't nothing funny.

And get in the weight room, Man.

Your back look weak.

Suit and tie, get the door.

Have a good one, Fellas.

So, apparently, James Avedon is a legend and also kind of a dick.

A total dick.

What makes him think he can just show up like that and take a cut?

Uh, because he's, like, super famous and we're not.

You just said he was a dick.

Yeah, he is a dick, a super famous dick that could do one commercial for our store and make us richer than our wildest dreams.

This problem you have with James is named Leah.

It's got nothing to do with business.

Oh, hold on. All right.

Hey. Sorry to call so late.

It was good to see you the other night.

I just need to get the details for the Christmas dinner.

James texted me, and he is super excited about doing this for your aunt, so if you could just give me, you know, the number of people that are gonna be there. Not a lot of people.

It'll probably be just a few.

Um, would it be okay if I just e-mail you the details later?

Sure. Talk to you later.

"I miss her so much."

"Oh, my God, Leah, I just want to kiss those lips, Girl."

"I made a mistake."

"Oh, my God."


Slogan me.

"So tasty, you won't have to trick him."

"So tasty, you won't have to trick them" because you have to trick babies to eat things, but this is tasty, so you won't have to trick him.

Yes. Yes.


Good work. Run it by the client.

Okay. Thanks, Lance.

You got to put your feelings aside for her, Man.

Do what's right for the store.

What about what's right for Leah?

She deserves to know what kind of guy he truly is.

Oh, right, so, you want to swoop in and protect Leah from the fronting basketball star.

News flash, you don't have a sick aunt.

Hell, you dumped her so you wouldn't have to go to a stupid office Christmas party.

What's your problem, Nick? I don't like this guy.

I don't trust him, and I just don't want him to be our partner, no matter how famous he is.

Ivy's pregnant.

I got a family now.

Our store has to work, has to, and this dick basketball star can make it happen.

So, Dude, you're gonna be a daddy.

That's awesome. Congratulations.

Thanks, Man.

That's great news, Bro.

You're gonna be an awesome dad, so I guess if that freak James Avedon can help us sell some shoes, then let's do it.

Thanks, Steve.

Congrats, Bro. Thanks, Man.

Ugh, God, since when do you knock?

Since I don't live here anymore, unlike some people. Yeah.

Well, lots of people who just graduated from college move back in with their parents.

In case you didn't realize, the job market, it sucks, okay?

Especially for somebody that majored in, what was it, puppeteering?

Excuse me, it's called puppetry, and my major was theater.

Much more lucrative career choice, theater.

I was thinking that... Hey, wait a minute. Mom!

Your son's here, the douchey one.

Oh, Stevie!

Oh, look at you, though. You look great.

Oh, Baby, oh.

Oh, there's my Stevie boy, drove all the way downtown to see his poor, old mother.

You're just gonna slip the guilty right into the greeting?

Saves time.

It's just such a rarity to see my handsome son these days.

Okay, well, here you go.

Oh, it's true. Mom, look.

I need to talk to you. Oh, what is it?

Who's that making all that damn noise in my house?

Somebody trying to steal my Patti cake.

Patti cake.

Somebody trying to steal my Patti cake.

Patti cake.

Ooh! Mwah!

Trying to show off in front of Stevie.

What this? I'm a silverback.

Silverback. ♪ Ooh ♪ Silverback. ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah ♪ Silverback. Whoo!

What's up, Boy? You looking good.

What's up, Theo? You check this out. Bam.

They call them Ladybugs. It helps out.

Help me with my gout.

Very stylish. Yeah.

Your mama like them.

She also likes something else I can't talk to you about.

Could I... Could I talk to you, Mom, please?

You like that, huh? Like that? Mm.

You like that thing.

Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom.

♪ Your mama like that thing ♪

♪ That thing, thing, pop, pop, pop, pop ♪ Stevie, you sure you don't want some of this?

It's good for you, keeps you regular.

Ma, I think you should peel the bananas first.

Uh uh. Vitamins, nutrients are in the skin.

Potato skin, chicken skin, it's in the skin.

Okay, whatever.

I've been thinking that, um, the family should come together this year for Christmas.

I think that's a wonderful idea.

It's been forever since this family spent Christmas together.

What's wrong. Is it terrible?

Should I sit down? No, no.

Nothing's wrong. It's... It's just...

So, there's this girl, and it's kind of complicated.

Ooh, is this the kind of complicated that might give Mother a grandbaby?

No, it is not.

It's complicated like I kind of told this girl that I have a sick aunt that I need to take care of.

Sweetheart, you do not have a sick aunt.

I'm aware of that, Mom, but now I'm in a situation where I have to get the family together for Christmas, and I also have to get a sick aunt because if I don't, this girl is gonna think that I'm an asshole.

Oh, you must like this one.

I think I do, Ma.

What can I do?

You serious? No lecture?

Just like that, you're gonna help me with this?

I don't typically lie for you, you know, to another person, that's not my bag...

Of course not. But, you know, if it means getting my children together for Christmas, I'm in.

What's in it for me?

You get to help your brother out, and you finally get to use your theater degree.

Mm hmm.

I'm not helping you, so...

You want that tablet, don't you?

Stevie will buy it for you, won't you, Stevie?

Yeah, fine.

If there's a tablet involved, I'm in.

Deal. High five.

So, now I just need to find a sick aunt.

Well, what about Miss Alice next door?

Miss Alice? Yeah.

She's lived there for 15 years.

I've never seen her sober once.

Dude, she slurs her words. She can barely stand up.

Sounds like a sick aunt to me. That's right.

And she smells like pee, which is a nice character trait.

Cheers, children.

See, I told you, Ma.

You should've peeled the bananas.

Oh, that smells like B.O.

Oh, Leah, did you get the okay from the client to run the baby food ad?

Um, pretty much. Hmm?

Yes. Awesome. Run with it.

You didn't tell me they approved that ad.

Well, they didn't, exactly, but if I show it to them, they'll trash it.

They'll have me make up some lie about the product.

This is a good campaign. It's truthful.

Once they see it working, they'll get it.

That's an interesting plan, Leah.

So, you liked the flowers?

Yeah, they were nice.

Plus, you sending me flowers checks off three of the twenty qualities I look for in someone I date.

Oh, yeah? How so?

Well, number five, thoughtful, number twelve, proactive, and number two, not cheap.

Oh, cool. So... So, you have a list.

Every girl has a list.

Otherwise, you end up dating someone like your friend Steve. Now, oh, come on.

He's really not so bad.

Stringing a girl along for months and then dumping here over a sick aunt?

Leah might buy that, but I don't.

Well, you know, relationships are funny.

I mean, who's to say they won't get back together at some point?

Ha, she's dating a famous basketball star.

You really think she's gonna go back and date someone who works at a sneaker store?

Well, you know that I work at a sneaker store, right?

I mean, we don't actually just work there.

We own it. Yeah, but that's not the only thing you want to do.

You have ambition, right?

It's number four on the list.

Well, you mean, other than accomplishing a lifelong goal and building a business?

I... I think I might have blew it.

What happened?

No, I guess I don't have any other ambition than that.

I didn't mean it like that.

Let's order, huh? Yeah.

Every guy wants to date a girl who's out of his league, right?

Mm hmm.

Well, I think I took it too far.

You know, normally, this, you and I on a date, would never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever happen... Ever.

But my book says take risk, so here we are.

He didn't take it as a complement.


And then it's super important that I let him know I'm a type A career woman and my time is valuable.


So, I sent a few work e-mails.

During dinner? How many, eight, nine?

Stuff is important.

Okay, so what? I sent ten work e-mails.

Uh uh.

And then the check came.

I'll take that whenever you're ready.

And he didn't even look at it, so I'm thinking he wants me to pay half, and you know that's a red flag.


Oh. I thought you might like dessert.

Don't worry, I'll take care of this.

We can get out of here.

There you go.

It's been forever since I went out with a guy who wasn't trying to be somebody else.

He just is who he is, and I don't know, I kind of like it.

Oh, my God, am I falling for a white boy named Kareem?

What is happening to me?

Good night.

And now he probably never wants to see me again.

I did everything the book said, and it was a disaster.

I'm not so sure you can find what you need in a book.

I think you just got to follow your heart.

I was just trying to speed up the process.

I'm not so sure speeding up the process is a good thing.

I am trying to slow it down.


He is so eager.

I'm just not there yet.

You sure it's not because you're still stuck on Steve?

Ancient history.

Please, this has nothing to do with him.

Of course it has nothing to do with him.

You're just organizing and attending a big Christmas dinner for him and his family.

You know, my books would say you're manufacturing a reason to keep Steve in your life.

Trust me. I'm over Steve.

Everybody out of my kitchen!

Everybody out of my kitchen!

Uh, I need everybody out of my kitchen.




Oh, don't do that.


Smells good, doesn't it?

It's talking to me.

Just... Just maybe a little bit.

Little bit.

Not gonna happen.

Don't touch the bird.

Don't... Don't even!

Oh! That's my best bird ever!

Come here!

That's my best bird ever!


What in the hell is going on, Stevie?

Mom, we got a bigger problem.

Alice. No, Alice, it is time to wake up, Lovey.

Come on. Wake up.


What? Oh, my God.

Now that's fresh.

You know what? She will be fine by dinner, okay?

She'll sober up, and Mother has just the thing to clear up that scent.

Mouth is all open.

Okay. I'm gonna get the door.

Yes, please let some air in.

Sir, Big Brother, Sir.

Listen, Little Brother, the only reason I'm here is because our mother emotionally blackmailed me, but I'm not gonna lie for you.

Don't ask, don't tell policy.

You guys invented that, right?

Scott's here.

Scott's here.

Scotty! My man!

Oh, My Darling Son.

Well, Mom's favorite offspring has arrived.

Theresa, you know that's not right.

I love all of my children equally.

Now can we please just enjoy the day and be so grateful that we're all here together.


What the hell was that?

It wasn't the wind.

Some of us are trying to sleep in here.

Some of us trying to breathe.

Excuse me, Guys, can I get everyone's attention?

You know, I just want to say thank you so much, Miss Patti, for allowing us in your lovely home.

Oh, it is I that should be thanking you, James.

No. Look at this spread.

You are too many things, No, no, no, Guys, seriously, Young Man, yes, you are.

It's the least I could do, you know?

And this must be Aunt Hildy.

Oh, yes, this is Hildy.

Ah, Hildy, it's nice to meet you, I'm James.

I've heard a lot of great things.

I don't know what you're talking about, Big Boy.

My name is Alice. Aw.

Dementia. Dementia. Oh, right.

What? Huh?

Don't be talking about me like I can't hear you.

What? Rude.

Oh, come on, Kidder. You rude. You rude.

You know what? Why don't we take a picture?

Let's say, "Christmas Dream Wish," right here into the camera. Somebody say we taking pictures, no kidding around.

Uh oh. Big Theo in the house!

All right, right here, Guys. Right in the camera.

Hold on, let me get my... Let me get my grill in.

Let me get my grill in. Let's get the picture with Aunt Hildy.

Oh! Oh, well, that's all right.

Get my grill out... Hey, hey!

Hey, hey!

Right in the camera, Auntie.

To... To your left.

There it is. Oh, maybe not that.

Is that a weave?

♪ Take that picture, Baby ♪

♪ Smack that booty, Baby ♪ Honey, stop. Mom, Mom, Mom.

Can... Can you control him, please?

Steve, don't worry about it, Man.

Your dad is cool.

Actually, I can see the resemblance.

You don't see any resemblance. That's not my father.

That's my mom's unemployed, live in boyfriend.


Now, wait just a minute here.

All my life, I've been looking for a woman like your mama, and one day, I'm gonna make an honest woman of her, but for right now...

♪ Who's making love ♪

♪ To your mama? ♪ Look at that, Man. That's love.

That's nauseating.

♪ Who's making love to your mama? ♪

♪ I am ♪ Dinner is s... Ooh!


Oh. Whoa!

Dinner is served.

He snuck up on me.

Hey, hey, hey!

You done put your foot in this mother...

Theo, Darling, could you please say a prayer for the table, bless the food?

Oh, of course. Shit, I'm tripping.

You're gonna have him say the grace?

Well, yes, Honey, he is the man of the house right now.

I've seen this done before, okay?

If we can all please bow our head and thy necks.

Oh, Lord, thank you for the many things you've done to this family, bringing us together safely here today and this cousin we don't know with the nice shirt with the bust, and thank you, Lord, for the basketball player coming to have dinner and blessing us with this good food and his fine girl.

It reminds me of how I used to get them back in the day!

Amen, amen. Thank you, Theo. Amen.

I'm... I'm not finished. I'm not making...

And, Oh, Lord, thank you for the things you've taught Patti in the bedroom, the tongue thing especially.


Hey, that's my mom, Man.

Amen. Wow.

Have some respect. I wasn't...

You did that. It was, but...

That was the worst prayer I ever heard in my life.

Strong words, Baby.

I'ma say my own prayer in my heart.

Hold on.

Oh, my God.

Can you please pass the potatoes?

Guys, I just... I just want to say that I'm really happy I could make this happen.

Oh, see.

You know, this is what the Christmas Dream Wish is all about, bringing families together, and I... I didn't do it all myself.

Leah, she made all the arrangements.

I wanted it to be special.

For Aunt Hildy.

Well, it is lovely, Leah, just lovely.

Thank you, Mrs. Carson. I'm glad you like it.

Oh, call me Patti.

Patti, Patti.

It's Christmas, and I'll whoop your ass on Christmas.

Stop dissing with that damn puppet.

Get your food into my mouth. Hey!

Hey, you know what, let's take a picture real quick, Aunt Hildy.

Right here. There he is.

If you don't stop flashing that thing, I'm gonna have a stroke just to spite you.

Whoa, hey, hey, Aunt Hildy, you are not going anywhere for a very long time.

Stop calling me that.

Aunt Hildy, you... You got something on your face.

Come here, let me... If you want the booze to keep flowing, your name is Hildy, get it?

Because I prefer Hildegard.



So, um, what side of the family is Aunt Hildy from?

Mine. My dad.

Yeah, Hildy has always been like a blood sister to me, but my dear, departed husband Charlie, God bless his soul, he was her brother.

He died.

It was five years ago. Five years ago.

On Christmas day. Christmas day.

I remember you telling me that your father passed.

I didn't realize that it was on Christmas.

Charlie would have loved this.

Surrounded by family, new friends.

This is special.

Take your time, Mama.

You are a big boy.

Yeah, I play professional basketball.

Big feet.

Yeah, I, uh, I guess they're pretty big.

Big feet, big dick.

Big feet, big dick.

Say it with me now. Big feet, big dick.

Shit is a science. Look it up.

I'll do that. Aunt Hildy.

Hildegard. Hildegard.

I'm just telling the truth.

Ahem. Thank you for that.

Something y'all seem to have a problem with, and I'll give you some more truth.

Oh, shit. All of y'all done lost your damn minds, talking about Charlie would be loving this.

Charlie would have hated it knowing that his whole family done went to hell.

I don't know what you're doing with that joker, Patti.

Bitch, you... (Mumbles)

And, Scott, are you really gonna go off on another tour of duty, put your mother through the wringer again?

You just running from the pain, and you know it.

I serve my country. How do you put up with these people?

I don't know, I told you I didn't want to talk about this while we were at dinner.

And, Theresa... you got to get up out of the house, get a job, and stop playing with all them damn dolls!

I'm not a doll. I'm a puppet.

Don't no man want to be with a woman that plays with puppets.

That is right. I mean, it's kind of true.

She telling the truth.

(Mumbles) You, you just deserted your whole damn family.

At least Scotty here calls his mother from Iraqi or Pakistani or wherever.

You live in the same damn town, and she don't never even see your ass.

All y'all need to get your shit together.

And you ain't even got no big feet.

I won't say it. You say it.

Little feet...

These are the 14s.

Yo, are they serious? Mm hmm.

Huh? Ain't nobody have some of these.

You all right, Patti?

Oh, I'm just worried about my son.

You know, I look at him, and he reminds me so much of his daddy, you know, all bravado and confidence on the outside and all scared and insecure on the inside, and since Charlie died, there's, like, this big hole in our family.

Truth be told, we have never been the same since.

I just want my son to be happy.

It's hard to miss somebody over the holidays.

Oh, you telling, but I think you're the one that my son is missing the most right now.

I do.

Leah, you ready to go?

Yeah. It was wonderful.

Yeah, thank you. It was wonderful.

Yeah, it was. Thank you so much.

Mmm. Thank you, James. Yeah.

And you. Patti.

Just beautiful.

Happy holidays. Happy holidays.

Remember what I said. Okay.

Steve, you got a great family, Man.

You know, getting to do this for you, well, you know, it's just good deeds.

It's what I'm about.

Thank you. Thank you both.

I'm sure it meant a lot to Hildy.

And me. It means a lot to me, too.

No problem, Man.

Merry Christmas.

I will, you, too.

Separate cars, huh?

He has another obligation tonight.

You know how it is.

No, not really.

Sorry I ruined your Christmas.

No, you didn't.

Your family is really fun.

Fun? Leah, you cannot look me in my eyes and tell me you thought that was fun.

Well, maybe fun isn't the right word, but there's a lot of love there.

You know, my folks are in Maine, so it would have just been James and me.

This was better.


Oh, wow.

You left it at my house a little while ago.

I was wondering where this was.

Been waiting for the right time to give it to you.

I want to tell you about today, just... All... Everything.

So, what's going on is that...

No, no, James and I are together now.

It's new, but I feel really good about it.

Oh. Well, look at you.

I should get going.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

You don't know what you're talking about.

Those Jordan V's came out in 1990.

You weren't even born yet.

Hell, you weren't even born when the retro versions came out in 2000.

First off, that shit's ageism.

Second off, I wasn't around when the dinosaurs were walking the Earth, but I know they were here.

By the way, how were they? Did you just call me old?

Because I know you didn't just call me old.

Look here, Grandpa.

I'm an entrepreneur.

I bought a pair of Yeezies for retail two years ago, sold them this year for $3,000.

Then I went and bought a pair of SB Pros, Paris Editions, sold those for $4,000.

Nah, no way, those are worth 25 hundo, tops.

You don't know anything about sneakers, do you?




Merry after Christmas.

Hi. What are you doing here?

Remember how you told me you wanted these sneakers and you were gonna camp out?

I did? No.

I texted Steve to find out where you were.

The other sounded a little less crazy.

I brought you some snacks. Wow.

That's... That's really cool of you, thanks.

Yo! No jumping in line, Man.

I'm just dropping off some food.

Chill out, and maybe you'll get some.

Yeah, do you mind?

Hey. Hey, get back, Little Man.

I wanted to come by and apologize for our date the other night.

I really wasn't myself.

No, uh, no apologies necessary.

I'm not so good with first dates, either.

I get it.

I thought you did great.

The truth is, I just have to remember dating is not a rush to get to the finish line.

I just need to chill out and get to know a guy.

You think maybe we could have a do over?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Uh, do you maybe want to hang out here for a while?

You sure I'm not gonna be cramping your style?

No way, Girl.

You improved my style just by showing up.

Sit down.

Okay, now you're cutting?

Cat fight!

You need to shut up.

Totally worth the 15 hour wait.

Then again, time flies when you got a sexy girl to keep warm.

How long did she stay?

Until I got my sneaks.

Damn. Right?

I got a good feeling about this girl.


James got us the whole page!

Nice! Hoo, hoo!

That's pretty cool, right?

You win. That is good for the store.

I still don't have to like him, though.

He just playing the press the same way he play everybody else.

♪ This is your moment ♪

♪ Come and ride with me ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm traveling... ♪ Right here.

How you guys doing?

♪ Up, up, and away ♪

♪ Up, up, and away ♪ Yeah, there he is.

Mr. Mayor, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

♪ Come and take me away ♪

♪ And I do a buck 50 on the one way ♪

♪ Told them all I'd get there some day ♪

♪ See me riding with my back to the past ♪

"I've always loved the sneaker culture.

People will flock to my store to get what they need to fit in and what they need to stand out."

Hey, that is pretty cool, right?

I love it. It's kind of beautiful.

It was really beautiful when Leah said it.

That's her line. She came up with that.

Hey, it's publicity. He's the face of the store.

Bro, he didn't even mention us.

Oh, yeah, he does right here in paragraph two.

Thank you, Baby.

"My partners have always been very supportive."

Yep. That's us.


Kareem, what the hell is wrong with you?

Throughout the article, he called it "His" store four times.

Am I the only one that can see what a user this guy is?

Am I really the only one that sees this dude as a fake?

We've worked on this since elementary school.

He comes in out of nowhere, and it becomes his store, his dream, his goals?

His shoe is in front of the Jordans.

How you got an Avedon in front of the Jordans?


I'm sorry. I just... I need to get a drink.

Whatever. It's a great article.

Steve is just jealous.

Babe. It's true.

James is with Leah now, and it's tearing him apart.

Look, he don't even know how to act.

He's being a hater.

Hi. I'm Erica.


James Avedon is cheating on his girlfriend.

What do you mean? With who?

Me for one.

I've been dating him for months now.

You got any evidence?

He hit me up this week to hook up.

Wednesday, 2:00 a.m.

Classy, right?

Why are you telling me this?

Because James Avedon's a jerk, and no one seems to know it but you and me.

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Have you ever loved somebody ♪

♪ That has been knocked down ♪

♪ And ain't nobody lend a hand ♪

♪ To pick you up off the ground? ♪

♪ You got look inside yourself, Baby ♪ But he's a hater. I know, but he's just upset.

I don't want to get to know him, and he's a hater.

Hey. Can I slide in between all this loveliness right here?

Yeah. Get in here.

Oh, my God, you two are such a beautiful combo.

Thanks. Thanks, Man.

So, brand new question for you, Stace.


What does, uh, Leah have going on for the big New Year's?

Oh, she's actually going with James to his super fancy, exclusive party.

Oh, at his place downtown?

Yeah. At Throne.

Oh, my God, I'm... I'm beat.

I‘m gonna get out of here. I‘m gonna check out early.

Okay. All right?

All right. Happy New Year. Good night.

Happy New Year's, everybody. Thanks, Ivy.

Thank you so much.

You out of here? Happy New Year, Buddy.

Get some rest. Thanks, Ivy.

Bye. Thank you.

♪ Come on ♪

You don't think he's gonna go down there, do you?

Oh, shit. Nick. Bye, Baby.

Hey, Man. Oh, ho, ho, ho.

All right, listen.

We're not tryin' to crash your party, Man.

We just want to stop our friend from doing something really stupid.

Yeah? You're not getting in here.

You're not on the list.

You're not cool.

Your buddy here is dressed like a 12 year old.

So, walk away. I'm not cool enough?

Whoa, whoa, Nick, the man said to walk away.

Sir, let me tell you something, my friend, all right?

I got a woman I love.

I'm about to have my first child.

I just started my own business and I'm not cool enough?

I'm what you dream of being while you're out here freezing your ass off at 4:00 a.m. guarding a door.

A job you get by being freakishly large, but let me tell you something.

I'll still kick your ass up and down the velvet rope...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no, okay, okay, okay.

Let me tell you something... Stop, stop, Man, stop.

I'm not cool enough? Who cares what he says.

He said I was dressed like a 12 year old.

These are LeBron 10 Honeys!

26 hundo on eBay.

You got the LeBron Honeys?

Oh, shit, it's Tyga. Yeah, whatever, Man.

Whassup, Man? Hey, Man!

I see you got the Lebrons. I got them in all black.

I like that color, though.

Look nice for the summer, you know?

They're yours if you can get us into that party.

What? What?

So... So, you sayin' if I get you in this party, you'll give me those shoes you got on your feet right now?

Oh... Yes.

That's easy, Man. Come on, let's do it.

What? Nice!

I'm playin', Man. I don't want your shoes.

Oh, Man, you had me.

I'll get you in the party, though.

That's easy. For real?

Ah, Man. Thanks, Man.

Thank you, Man. How you doin'?

All right, Man. Dude, you had me.

Hey, Man, I'm not cool enough?

Tyga's my boy.

Enjoy your New Year's Eve in the cold, Bitch.

I'm a small business owner.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get belligerent.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, Man. We gotta just...

What are you doing? Do you want to ruin everything?

You gotta let this go, Man. We're so close.

What am I supposed to do?

Just sit back and watch him use somebody I care about?

She's a grown woman. She can handle herself.

Yeah, and you don't know for a fact what's going on with them.

Maybe he's for real with her.

You know he's not real with her or anybody else.

He's lying to her. He's runnin' around on her.

I just spoke to a girl that he been hookin' up with.

Steve, you lied to her.

November Rule, Christmas dinner, Aunt Hildy.

It's all bullshit.

Dude, don't ruin our shot over a misguided sense of self righteousness because, My Brother, you are not righteous.

You're a hypocrite.

And just as bad as that basketball player.

No, no, this is different.

How is it different?

Hey, Leah.

We... We were just rehearsing a play.

Right, and so... No, we weren't.

Leah, I need to talk to you. Leah.

Just... Tell me.

I didn't break up with you because I have a sick aunt.

She's not my aunt, she's not even sick, and the whole Christmas thing was a sham.

Those people aren't even your family?

No, sadly those insane people are my family.

Everybody except for Alice... Hildy.

That insane person is our neighbor.

So, your whole family lied to me?

Because I asked them to.

I didn't want you to know that I didn't want to date you during the holidays.

So, you end it before you have to go forward.

I ended it because ever since my dad di...

Ever since my dad died, the holidays have been really tough for me, okay?

So, getting close to people... I'm just not good at that.

We were close. We were.

That's why I thought if I tell you I have a sick aunt, you would just give me a pass.

Then we could get back together after the holidays.

But, Leah, the second I broke up with you, I regretted it.

What do you think I am?

A toy? No.

You think I'm just a doll you can pick up when you want to play with it again?

You lied to me.

♪ Oh, you're on your own ♪ Steve, you played me.

No! See, that's the thing. I never played you.

James is playing you.

I never cheated on you, and I never would.

I know what I did was wrong, but I didn't play you.

How am I supposed to know that you're not lying now?

Because I care about you, Leah.

I was wrong.

And if you don't want to believe me, I understand, but I care about you.

♪ Nor everybody else ♪ No. Because you're jealous.

You didn't want me, and now I'm happy with somebody else, and you can't stand it.

♪ You're strong, nor everybody else ♪ I don't know what I ever saw in you.

♪ Suddenly I'm hip ♪

♪ Is this darkness over... ♪ Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

♪ Away ♪

♪ So, show me who you are, you're strong ♪

♪ Nor everybody else ♪

♪ We're running around, around, around, away ♪

♪ Around, around, around ♪

♪ Around, around, around, away ♪

♪ Around, around, around, around, around, around ♪

♪ Suddenly, I'm hip ♪

♪ Is this darkness over now? ♪

♪ And your friends are gone, gone, gone ♪

♪ And your friends won't come ♪

♪ So show me where you fit in ♪

♪ So show me where you fit in ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ Mmm mmm ooh ooh ♪

What up, Ladies?

Stevie, what are you doing here, Honey?

I can't just stop by?

You can, but you don't, so.

Well, I plan on stopping by a lot more now.

That's right.

I'm sorry about the whole Christmas thing and asking you to lie and putting you in that position.

I shouldn't have done that.

Oh, no, no, no, Honey, I'm sorry.

But I have no regrets about everyone coming together.

It was so nice. It was so much fun.

Yeah, it actually didn't hurt as much as I thought it was going to.

Like us being together and Dad not being around.

Yeah, we're always gonna miss Daddy, but that doesn't mean that we run away from people because we're afraid of getting hurt, right?

How's Leah?

She don't want to see me.

Oh, come on.

I messed it up pretty good, Mom.

It's... It's done.

Maybe, maybe not.

But once in a while you find one worth fighting for.

I found your father.

You wanted to see me?

You lied to me.

I just got off the phone with an important client, and they said that they never approved their print ad.

You know the one that we just placed in magazines all over the country?

These people just spent their entire print budget on an ad they didn't approve.

You said you loved it. Mm hmm.

And... Well, I thought once they saw it...

That they would love it, too.

You lied right to my face.


So, you wouldn't have to lie in the ads, hmm?

That doesn't make any sense.

No. It doesn't.

You know, if you'd only come to me first, I would've gotten behind your slogan and your copy and together we could have sold it to the client.

I should fire you.

But I'm not going to. Mm-mm.

In fact, you're going to work on their next campaign, if they entrust us with one, and you're going to do it for free on your own time.

Yes. Of course.

Everybody deserves a second chance, Leah.

This is yours.

Thank you.

I'm with them, with them.

Where do you think you're going?

Don‘t touch me, Dude.

I just wanted to warn you, there‘s a crazy dude in here you gotta look out for. Yeah, really? Who?



Oh! Damn, Dude.


Yo, Steve.

Hey, Steve. Steve.

Hey, you hear me calling you, Man.

What's up with you, Man?

You comin' here and starting stuff with my boys?

I came 'cause I need to settle something with you.

I need you to stay away from Leah, Bro.

Excuse me?

James, James, over here.

How's your knee doin'?

You gonna kick some butt for L.A. this year?

City of Angels, Baby. You know it.

Hey, James, who's your boy?

Ah, this my friend, Steve.

We openin' a sneaker store together.

We're business partners. Ain't that right?

Hey, you just keep smilin' and noddin' if you want me to rep your store.

I don't want you or your name anywhere near my store.

Now that I know you such an asshole.

You say that again, and I will beat you down.

Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, that's what I thought. Good boy.

All right, y'all, y'all had your pictures.

I'm going in. Have a good night.

You a fake, Avedon.

You don't deserve Leah.

She's smart, she's funny.

She can just totally hang.

She's honest, Man... Too honest.

She just love the holidays.

This her time of year right now, Man.

She got a pure heart.

Leah the best person I ever met in my whole life.

And you in there just hookin' up with some random chick.

That ain't right.

You know, I'm not sure why you're so worried about that.

'Cause you can't figure out how to date her.

That's what she told me. She don't want you, Steve.

I know that.

She deserves better than both of us.

But I'm not gonna stand by and let her get hurt by some fake like you.

Have a good night, Man.

You an asshole, Man.

Say it again.


Ah, you scuffed up my shoes.

Are you okay, Man?


Ah, you scuffed up my shoes.

Are you okay, Man?


Are my shoes bad?

You need to learn how to duck.

Busted face, and all he's worried about are his shoes.

Dude, it went viral last night.

It's everywhere.

This is gonna be so good for the store.

Plus, now you should be happy.

Now everyone gets to see what an asshole Avedon is.

We're not gonna be able to use that to promote the store.

He'll sue us.

Au contraire.

He signed a contract to rep us.

We can use his name and likeness.

Why aren't you pissed?

I put the store in jeopardy, Bro.

You do realize that Avedon is no longer gonna do any advertising for us, right?

I was pissed. Oh, yeah, he was pissed.

But that stuff you said about Leah...

I mean, you did what you had to do.

I appreciate y'all, Man.

Oh, come on, are we really gonna let some asshole basketball player pull us apart?

No way. Screw that guy.

Oh, but yo, Man, he messed your face up!

You gotta have one hell of a personality to pull off that nose.

Out of the box thinking. That's what I want to see.

Check out the number one viral video of the week.

Over half a million hits, and it's only been up one day.

Listen to the guy talk. It's from the heart.

It's the kind of honesty we need more of around here.

And he's cute. Oh.

You a fake, Avedon.


You're that Leah?

You don't even deserve to be with Leah.

She's smart and funny and can just totally hang.

O-M-G, he's totally talking about you.

She's honest. She love the holidays.

This her time of year right now, Man.

She got a pure heart.

Leah the best person I ever met in my whole life.

And you in here just hookin' up with some random chick?

Leah, do you know how lucky you are?

I will never have a boyfriend like that.

He's my ex. He's my ex-boyfriend.

Say it again. Asshole.

Ooh. Steve.

Ah, you scuffed up my shoes.

So, he's available?

Burning the midnight oil?

Yeah, I'm just finishing up some work.

It's funny how things work out.

A few weeks ago, I almost fired you, and here you are working late, making me proud.

Thank you, Lance.

I'm happy I gave you a second chance.


What? What's all the...

Oh, hey, Leah.

We were just hangin' out.

Makin' love over and over... And over.

It was awesome. You want some ice cream?

No. No, I'm good. I'm gonna go to bed.

And you kids, you have a good night.

Oh, wait. Did you see the video?

Yeah, I saw it.

Steve got his face busted up for you.

It was kinda crazy.

I don't know, it was kinda like... valiant, like he was fighting for your honor or something.

Aw, that's sweet. You're comin' around to him.

I knew you would. He's a great guy.

He really is, you know.

She got a pure heart.

Leah the best person I ever met in my whole life.

Hey, that's him.

Hey, yo. Smart video.

Yo, Man, you good?

You don't look good.

You look like shit. I'm fine.

Come on, this is the day we've been lookin' forward to since we were in the 5th grade.

You look like somebody peed in your Cheerios.


It just...

Like it doesn't matter without her, you know?

Like, it doesn't.

It doesn't mean anything without her.


I love her.

Oh, shit.

I gotta go. Dude, you can't go.

We're about to open the doors.

Did you see that line? This is our moment!

Stevie, don't do anything crazy.

It's over between you two. This is real right here.

I'm sorry, but I gotta go.

I love her and she doesn't know.

I gotta go tell her right now.

I'll be back. I gotta tell her right now.

Uh, who is it?

Steve. I need to talk to Leah.

Steve! What are you doing?

Look, I know you hate me. I understand why.

I was a jerk to Leah. I lied. I was stupid.

I was manipulative. But I love her, Stacey.

That doesn't make anything that I did right, and I know it probably won't change her mind, but she needs to know and I just need to go and tell her right now.

Please. Steve.

She's not here.

Yo, Man, you got your romantic shit worked out or what?

No. What?

I said no. Not really. Come on, Man.

You gotta work that out some other time.

You gotta get your ass back to the store.

We're gettin' killed.

I'll be there soon.

Yo, Nick, can I get these in a size 11?

They need me back at the store, so...

Steve, listen...

Everything happens for a reason.

Come on. Let's go to the store.

Need any help?

Mom! What are you guys doing here?

Honey, did you think we were gonna miss out on your big day?

I'm so proud of you.

You know, these sneakers... They're actually pretty cool.

Get in here, Big Guy.

You know I love free stuff. These are free, right?

Just askin'.

These are the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn.

Yo, Steve-O! Get over here.

Hey, Man, come on.

Hey, Steve, I'm sorry it didn't work out.

Come on, now.

Couldn't find her.

Stevie, you gotta get over it, Bud, all right?

There will be other girls.

Right now, we have to concentrate on making this the most killer store the world has ever seen, right?

All right, now, run these to the customer in the corner.

All right.


What are you doing here?

Can't a girl get a new pair of shoes?


Sneakers, right.

♪ They say love is a burnin' thing ♪ You were right about James.

I broke up with him on New Year's Eve.

I was never meant to be with him.

Why is that?

Because I'm still stuck on you.

♪ And honey, I saw love ♪

♪ You see, it came to me ♪

♪ It put its face up... ♪ Could you stand up for me?

♪ And then I saw love ♪ Feel good?

It's good feel, right?


You remember what you told me?

Fit in and stand out?


You wanna wear 'em Saturday? With me?


That might be a problem.

You know, Saturday, it's a holiday.

Valentine's Day.

Mm hmm. That's a big one.


That could fast forward things.

It's usually reserved for people in a relationship.

It is. So, I want to spend that day with you.

You're all that I want, Leah.

For every holiday.

I'm in love with you.

And I know now that I always was.

I love you, too.

So, say it to me again, all right?

I love you, too.


Sneakerheads come in for kicks, and they leave in love.

Yeah, that's how we do.

Sneakers is love.

♪ Boo doo, boo doo boo doo ♪

♪ Ooh ooh, ooh ooh ♪

♪ If we make each other happy, then we just can... ♪ It's me.

Hey, Babe... Oh!

Happy Valentine's Day.

Thank you.

♪ Is the sweetest thing in life ♪ These are beautiful.


Oh, my God! Leah, Love.


Thank you.


Poems of love? Poems of love. Here.

♪ Finest cuisine of today's world ♪ Really? Really.

These are big words.

Well, I mean...

I'll say 'em to you...

When you wear this.


You're gonna look good. Mm hmm.


♪ Makes me just wanna open up ♪ Oh!

Do you love it?

It's my name.

It is.

Hold that. I can't hold everything.

You got a finger?


♪ Sweetest thing... ♪ Happy Valentine's Day.

I shoot love, Baby!

I told you the bow and arrow was too much.

It's... It's the scream.

We said don't do the scream.

I was tryin' to...

♪ Baby, I been lovin' you ♪

♪ Baby, I'm in love with you ♪

♪ I could feel it ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Think about you all the time ♪

♪ Take me, take me in your arms ♪

♪ Tell me that you love me, too ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't imagine life without you ♪

♪ I been dreamin' about you every night and day ♪

♪ From the first time I saw you ♪

♪ I got swept away ♪

♪ I was standin' on the edge ♪

♪ And afraid of falling down ♪

♪ I think you can save me ♪

♪ All of my tears are gone, they're gone ♪

♪ Baby, I been lovin' you ♪

♪ And Baby, I'm in love with you ♪

♪ I could feel it ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I think about you all the time ♪

♪ Take me, take me in your arms ♪

♪ Tell me that you love me, too ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't imagine life without you ♪

♪ Having you by my side, Babe, it's all I ever need ♪

♪ 'Cause it will get complicated ♪

♪ I guess were meant to be ♪

♪ You knock me off my feet, yeah ♪

♪ I'm barely holding on ♪

♪ And you're one of a kind, Babe ♪

♪ And I couldn't ask for more ♪

♪ Baby, I been loving you ♪

♪ And Baby, I'm in love with you ♪

♪ Can you feel it? ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Think about you all the time ♪

♪ Take me, take me in your arms ♪

♪ Tell me that you love me, too ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't imagine life without you, yeah ♪

♪ Oh oh oh Baby ♪

♪ Baby, I love you ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Baby, I'm in love ♪

♪ And I can take it no more, no, no, Baby ♪

♪ Baby, I been loving you ♪

♪ And Baby, I'm in love with you ♪

♪ I think about you all the time ♪

♪ Take me, take me in your arms ♪

♪ And tell me that you love me, too ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't imagine life without you ♪

♪ Oh, Babe, I been loving you ♪

♪ And Baby, I'm in love with you ♪

♪ You, you, you ♪

♪ Think about you all the time ♪

♪ Take me, take me in your arms ♪

♪ And tell me that you love me, too ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't imagine life without you ♪

♪ Oh oh oh ♪

♪ Baby, I'm in love with you ♪