Numb3rs S5E19 Script

Animal Rites (2009)


Come on! Come on!

I don't need anyone

Don't need no mom and dad Come on! Come on!

Don't need pretty face

Don't need no human race


I got some news for you


It's okay. You're free.

I got my devil machine We are freeing these innocent beings from the depths of hell.

Sonic reducer, ain't no loser

Got my sonic reducer, ain't no loser MAN: Come on, man. We got to hurry.

Wait till all the animals are out of the building before we set these off.


Come on, let's go.

Let's go. Get out. Come on.

People out on the streets MAN: Come on!

They don't know who I am


I watch them from my room

They all just pass me by

But I'm not just anyone That's it. They're free.

Said I'm not just anyone

I got my devil machine

Got my electronic dream It's me. What's the matter? Want to go?

Come on, man. What are you doing?

Come on!

These animals are suffering abuse.

They have no freedom, which is their basic right as living beings.

We're releasing these healthy animals before the professors can inject them with disease and dope them up with drugs.

Then I'll be ten feet tall

And you'll be nothing at all

I got my devil machine

I got my electronic dream Rat guillotine.

Destroy it, man. Damage the misery machine.

Sonic reducer, ain't no loser What the hell are you doing in here?!

We demand you stop torturing living beings.

You don't know what you're doing.

Are you insane?!

(glass breaking)

Sonic reducer

Sonic reducer.


Hey, did you shuffle these cards enough?

My hand is sucky.

(scoffs) Blame the dealer.


AMITA: Okay.

I'm in for five.

Me, too. How many?

ALAN: Okay, get it while it's still pizza.

Three. Make this the last hand.

We have to eat.

LARRY: Nikki makes a critical point there.

Persi Diaconis of Stanford proved that a minimum of five shuffles are required for a deck to become random.

Of course, that's random in the sense of variation distance described by Markov chain mixing time, but I suppose in this room, seven shuffles are sufficient FAPP.


Yeah. For all practical purposes.

ALAN: Well, for all practical purposes, where are Don and Charlie with the beer?

I don't know.

I'll bet another five.

Well, that's a sizable pot.

Yeah, all right.

I'll see you five.

Yeah. I'll raise you ten.

Thought you had a bad hand.

High stakes.

I'll call.

Well, it's gonna be like that, you'd better deal me in.

Well played, Betancourt.

What do you mean?


Three queens.

ALAN: Whoa!

You know, that little trick only works once.


(phone whistles tune)

CHARLIE: Hey! Who's thirsty?

ALAN: Hey, finally, huh?

What's going on? Who's winning?

ALAN: Ah, it's over.

We're teaching Nikki how to play.

DON: Yeah, all right.

I'll get in on some of that. Beer?

Oh, come on. Pizza, pizza. I made it.

DON: All right, I'll have a slice.

That was Lorna Ludlow.

Nelson Horowitz has just been attacked in his lab.

What? Who's that?

He's a biology professor at CalSci.

Lawrence, I can't believe this.

Dr. Lorna Ludlow, this is Don and Charles Eppes.

Lorna's an immunologist working on Avian Flu.

Yeah. I've seen you across the room at faculty meetings.

So, you work in this building?

I do. I'm the first name on the emergency call list.

A janitor found poor Nelson, and I came right away.

They've not let me into his lab, but I've seen all the rest of the damage.

What did the attackers do besides spray-painting the walls?

LORNA: Experimental animals from all the labs on this floor have been taken or released.

It's a... It's a devastating blow.

The loss of our animals is going to affect our work for years.


Can't we... Can't we get him out of there?

(camera shutter clicks)

Oh. Nelson.

(gasps) Oh, no...

(camera shutter clicks)

Professor Nelson David Horowitz.

Unfortunately, he decided to work late last night.

Researching the effects of, uh, stress and PTSD on rats, trying to find a treatment for trauma victims and war veterans.

LIZ: He was immobilized with a bright light in his eyes -- exactly what he did to the rats.

DAVID: But the coroner only found superficial wounds on his body, so, we think he died of a heart attack or stroke after being left in the cage.

Well, he died during a crime, so...

It-it's murder.

Well, whoever did this doesn't know he's dead, so we should probably try to keep it that way.

If Horowitz was targeted for his work with animals, it's not only murder; it's domestic terrorism.

They also found an unignited incendiary device in one of the labs -- a gasoline-filled plastic milk jug.

LIZ: I'd guess the attackers were surprised by the professor and fled before they could set it off.

Or they found a better statement to make.

NIKKI: Instructions on making one of these little gadgets -- on a website for Animal Rights Rebels.


DAVID: Militant group.

Uh, they believe in animals and arson.

Call themselves ecoterrorists.

They encourage people to release animals and destroy property.

Underground, anonymous, worldwide.

Let's see if there's a local group or something.

No chapters, no cells.

People log on to the ARR website, and they act on their own.

Can you take that down, please?

He was a colleague.

Come here. Take a walk with me.

No, it's not necessary. I'm sorry.

I know I seem a bit emotional. Um, I have a very clear plan on how to help.

Well, Charlie, I need some coffee. Come on.

Check around, see if anyone has taken credit, all right?

I'm okay. I'll all right.

All right, good. So, what's your plan?

I want to implant a hidden program on web servers where animal activists meet up.

And we capture relevant data, like references to CalSci's animal research, or finding homes for dogs that have been released from labs, or bragging about caging a man.

What are you going to do, eavesdrop on every one of these groups that's on the Net?

Well, I'm adapting a new program.

It's called PIR --

Private Information Retrieval.

It's an N-gram analysis.

It's like a keyword search on steroids.


The pertinent part is something called oblivious transfer.

So, say I'm looking for a rare vinyl LP.

A mistaken release of Bob Dylan's second album, which has four extra songs deleted from all other pressings for being too controversial.

Now, only 30 copies of this thing exist.

I want the record, but I don't want to alert anyone to its great value, so I hire secret shoppers to go to every record store and buy up every record they can find.

Then I listen to each one to see which one has the extra songs.

The secret shoppers don't know why I want the album; the stores don't know that I've been trawling for a valuable part of their collection; and I don't know anything about their inventory except precisely what I'm looking for.

So, we're all oblivious to each other's information with one very narrow exception.

One of the rarest records of all time.

I can only see data that meets my criteria.

Everything else remains private.

So, the person who killed Nelson will never know we observed him.

Is that legal?

Uh, it's not illegal.

The technology's ahead of the law.

All right, well, I'll get working on a warrant.

How well did you know this guy?

We were on a committee together a few years ago.

He was a funny guy. He was really funny.

Kind of reminded me of Dad a little bit.

I'm okay.

You know, it's just really weird.

My campus is supposed to be an ivory tower, but we keep getting invaded by the outside world.

My organization doesn't support criminal attacks.

We do not condone violence against any animal, human or non-human.

Okay, so who does?


In over 20 years, no one has been injured or killed by animal rights people.

Until last night.

This incident has Animal Rights Rebels written all over it.


They're radical. They're underground.

They're not us.

You must know who's involved with them locally.

Give us a name. I can't do that.

I don't know who attacked the university last night.

That's not what we're asking.

We just want to know where the local extremists are.

But I'll tell you whoever did this is an amateur.

If they were really serious about helping animals, they'd target factory farms.

That's where the majority of animals are being tortured.

LIZ: Where do the amateurs hang out?

DAVID: Come on. They already killed someone, and they are hurting your cause.


There's an Internet café on Allen Boulevard in Altadena.

Thank you.


Nelson was close to a new protocol for posttraumatic stress syndrome.

Last January, more active duty soldiers in Iraq committed suicide than died in combat.

Now, if Nelson's PTSD work could prevent a suicide, is that worth the lives of 500 rats?

Other researchers who lost their animals last night were working on cures for HIV, malaria, coronary disease.

And it doesn't only impact them.

An attack like this would have a chilling effect on many researchers.

Well, we need to figure out bird flu before it kills 40 million people.

And who's going to choose to do that if they risk being murdered in their own labs?

Lorna, I am concerned that your name is listed on the ARR website.

Yeah, they protested twice outside my apartment last year, screaming, "Lorna Ludlow tortures animals."

They cracked the windshield of my car.

I had to move.

You track birds; you don't kill them.

Nuances are lost on these people.

Hey, get me a... mochaccino.

Bathroom in back?

Uh, one latte, one mochaccino.

Soy milk okay?

We don't use animal products here.


NIKKI: Do you need a password to use your Wi-Fi?

Veganbeat. One word.


The funny thing is, I...

I don't know where I stand.

I'm pro-research, but I'm also pro-animal.

Rats show empathy for another rat in pain.

They're social. They learn.

Some wild rodents who mate for life feel grief when they're separated from their partner.

Now, knowing all this, is it still okay to use them as supplies in a lab in order to save a human life?

I won't presume to answer the unanswerable, but... you know, I really admire you for your brave, questioning mind.

Why is the FBI keeping Nelson's death a secret?

I really don't know.

Assumed it was in order to catch the culprits more quickly.

It's strange... for the school not to know yet.

Well, over time, I have come to rely on the FBI's instincts.

Distrust my own, I suppose.


See this?

BARISTA: Yeah, I heard. MAN: You going?

I'm working.

Too bad.



Where is he going?

Excuse me?

It sounded like something cool was happening.

I'm just, uh...

(chuckles) Really?

He's like 17.


MAN (over radio): South hall is secure.

It's odd having so much security here at school.

I know. It will calm down again soon.

All right, I've got three more websites where I can implant Private Information Retrieval.

We're already getting a lot of alerts, Charlie.

From Animal Rights Rebels?

No, we're getting hits on these innocuous message boards.

That's weird.

Someone just posted a video with "CalSci" in the title.

(dogs barking)

We are freeing these innocent beings from the depths of hell.

These animals are suffering abuse.

They have no freedom, which is their basic right as living beings.

NELSON: What the hell are you doing in here?

MAN: We demand you stop torturing living beings.

See if you can find out who posted that.

I'm going to call Don.

(commotion outside)

What is that?

Hey, listen -- so someone posted a video of the attack online.

Charlie, there's something going on out there.

Hold on.

Backup needed at the southwest courtyard.

(people squawking, whooping)

Oh, my God.

(squawking, whooping)



Is this a prank? I don't know.

It could be... or not. Hey, listen.

There's a crowd of people down here.

They're swarming the biology building.

All right, I'll call you back.

What is this? What's going on?

MAN (over bullhorn): Animal liberation!

Animal liberation! Free the animals!

Look, this is weird, Charlie. There's Larry.

Lock the building.

They're not actually trying to get in.


(explosion, glass shattering)


It's okay. You all right? Yeah.

(overlapping chatter)

MAN: Make sure we check the structure... outside the door.

(sirens blaring)

AMITA: This was a flash mob.

Yeah, a flash mob used as a decoy while someone set fire to one of the labs.

Did you see anyone come out of the building?

They're long gone.

You guys all right?

(sighs with relief)

OFFICER: Sir, apprehended one of them.

Hey, where do I know you from?

James Arthur, 19, unemployed.

I'm a student part-time.


I'm sitting out a semester.

You're a dropout bum.

Where were you two nights ago?

Hanging out.

We're freeing these innocent beings...

Is that you? No.

Well, it looks like you.

Same ski mask you had on last night.

Hey, that could be anybody.

Last night, it was a joke.

It was a flash mob.

And what is that exactly?

A mob of people come together.

They do something weird, then they disappear.

You organize it?

You know, so someone could firebomb a lab while the rest of you distract campus security?

No way.

No, I saw it on a message board.

It was just something to do. Really?

Yeah, yeah, on an L.A. vegan forum.

Check it out.

I didn't post it.

Were you at the café yesterday?

Sit tight.

NIKKI: Hey, you hearing what I'm hearing?

Yeah, a flash mob on a message board.


I'll get online and check it out.

The geniuses are already on it.

So, someone used this flash mob as a decoy.

Any idea who?

Well, the screen name for the person that posted the notice is DogBoy88.

Yeah, we traced the server back to a computer at the VeganBeat Café.

CHARLIE: Right, but we've rewritten our filters for the PIR program.

The Dylan thing you were telling me about.

That's right.

We tracked DogBoy88 through idiosyncratic phrases in his e-mail messages.

Comparing his writing to the other 231 relevant screen names we've gathered.

CHARLIE: People have habits of speech and writing that they're unaware of.

Charlie, one screen name from our list, MacroJL, is never online at the same time as DogBoy88.

All right, well, scroll down.

CHARLIE: Yeah, MacroJL logs in within seconds of DogBoy88 logging off.

It's like Superman and Clark Kent.

Never at the same place at the same time.

Same person.

How definite you think it is?

We can work out some probabilities.

DogBoy88 and MacroJL also share several key verbal phrases.

CHARLIE: The technical term for this kind of thing is "mighty suspicious."

Okay, let's get him, right?

Josh Skinner, aka DogBoy88.

Nice digs.

Tax records say he's 23.

I guess DogBoy is staying with the folks.

Yes? FBI, ma'am.

Agent Sinclair -- this is Agent Warner.

We need to talk with Josh Skinner.

He isn't here. What's he done now?

What do you mean, "What's he done?"

My son is off his meds again.

Off his meds?

Josh is schizophrenic, Agent Sinclair, so whatever he's done, it's because he's sick.

He's not a criminal; he's a sick child.

What's the trouble this time?

He posted something online, and we just want to talk to him.

Is, uh... is that Josh right there?

His father died in 2006.

Josh was diagnosed nine months later.

Do you know where he is?

Should be in class.

He's an undergrad at CalSci.

(dog barking)

Josh brought this little guy home last night.

He wants to release him into the wild.

CHARLIE: According to his file, Josh Skinner is in a history of science lecture right now.

And where is that? It's this way.

Okay, so what's the deal with this kid?

CHARLIE: Let's see. He's a philosophy major with a minor in... math.


There's been some evidence to suggest that mathematical ability correlates with schizophrenia.


The same gene.

People who are predisposed to higher abstract thinking are often quite vulnerable to mental illness.

Like, uh, John Nash in A Beautiful Mind.

Yeah, and, you know, Nash hated taking his medication

'cause it prevented him from doing math.

It's possible that Josh is facing the same dilemma.

So, uh, the... the meds, they dull his mind.

Yeah, but without them, he won't be able to grasp reality.

If he called for a flash mob, he's got some sense of what's what.

Well, stress can trigger unpredictable behavior.

Listen, I would just suggest approaching him as calmly as possible.


Um... building's open.

Yeah, well, you know, CalSci is determined not to buckle to these attacks.

Lecture hall is on the first floor.

All right, we'll take it from here, Charlie.

FEMALE LECTURER: Though Galileo Galilei conducted research by using experiments, he argued his ideas in the form of pure mathematics, a daring and creative evolution of the scientific method.

Galileo gave us math as proof and predictor of reality.

(inaudible whisper)

That's it for today.

Next week, Descartes' unfinished

"Rules for the Direction of the Mind."

Excuse me.

(screams) (screams)

Take it easy. FBI!


(panicked shouting)

CLOUD: Move it! Move it!

I see you.

You can't hide. DAVID: Easy, Josh.

Calm down, buddy.

(echoing) Just calm down, okay?

Take it easy.

(gunshot, screaming)

Get down!

(students screaming)


(professor screaming)

CLOUD: What are you doing?

Stop shooting.

DAVID: Hey, calm down.

Don't move! Let him go.

I don't think so. Let him go.

Stay back.

JOSH: Stay back.

Just take it easy, Josh, okay?

We can work this out.

(screams) Don't move.

I won't.

Solid core double door.

Single key with a dead bolt lock.

He got off two shots.

Four left in that revolver.

Josh, we want a peaceful outcome here.

DAVID: We don't want anybody to get hurt.

DAVID: Okay, how do we do that?

You tried to kill me.

Josh, we came to talk to you.

Right... right, talk to me... talk to me with guns.


Who's the other kid?

Students ID'd him as Cloud Jamieson, freshman.

Background check came up empty.

DON: So no windows, huh?

No sniper shot. What about the back room?

What's this along here?

That's a wet wall, where they run plumbing and electrical lines.

Great, I can get in here.

David, listen to me.

I want you to keep them near the door, okay; we're gonna come in through the back.

I'll cut my way in here.

All right, Scotty, Petey, you go with her.

DAVID: Josh, let's work this out.

Okay, buddy, I know you're scared.

Cloud Jamieson, how you doing in there?


Don't talk to him.

I want a camera.

I want a video camera with a live feed to the media so that people can see the atrocity against animals that's happening in here.

Don't point that at me, man.

A video camera -- I can work on that for you.

They want a video camera; all right, we got one in the truck.

We're gonna give this guy what he wants?

No, we're gonna use it as a bargaining chip.

Run and get it, all right?


So Larry's got Lorna on the phone.

She's in the room behind the lab.


The office behind the lab where Josh is.

Okay, here's Don.

Lorna, how you doing?


They have Professor Sharad Varma.

He's... he's bleeding but conscious.

All right, ju-just try and stay calm.

Where are they in the room?

Sharad and the student with the gun are on the north side.

Sharad's on the floor.

The other student -- he's moving around.

Okay, Lorna, there is a vent somewhere on the floor in there.

Okay, you think you can get down into it?

It's bolted shut.

All right, hang tight.

I'm gonna get someone in there for you, all right?

Just keep her on the line.

You know, Amita and I are going to go through Josh's student writing.

We're going to get insight into how his mind works.

All right, good. Let me know if there's any triggers I should avoid all right?

All right.

(garbled radio chatter)

Josh, how is the professor doing?

Can you tell me that?

I'm not talking to you. I'm not talking to you.

I'm not talking to you.

You're an assassin. I can't let you into my brain.

(stammering) Josh, I am working on that camera for you.

Shut up. Shut up.

DON: I mean, he's never going to get his trust.

Give me a crack at him.

You? You ever done this?


What you should do is get me hooked up to the phone in there, all right?

David, I want you to stand down.

DAVID: Roger that.

I'm only agitating him.

DON: All right, I got it from here.

Liz, how are you doing?

We're almost in the wall.

Lorna said he's breaking things.

There's too many voices. Josh, come on, we got to figure this out.

This is out of control.

PROFESSOR: Don't worry.

Nobody will make you do anything you don't want to, Josh.

Josh -- why is everyone saying my name?

Josh, Josh, Josh.

My name... is Sharad.


JOSH: What kind of name is that?


Indian. You should revere animals.

I do.

I am a vegetarian.

So you don't eat them, but torturing them is fine?

No, I don't believe in torture.

You work in this building.

I've seen you.

Do you experiment with animals?

I take good care of my animals.

You torment them for a living.

You inject them with disease, then you cut them open to see what you've done.

There's a holocaust going on in this building, and I'm gonna stop it.


Oh, my, God, they're going to kill Sharad.

Don't. Don't do that, please.

SHARAD: Lorna, what are you doing here?

You see her? Is she really here?

Yeah, man, she's really here.

You can't trick me.

Don, she went in there.

LARRY: She's in there right now.

LORNA: I just want to check on Professor Varma.

He's bleeding.



Who's in there? Who else is in there?

You were supposed to check, man.

I did.

It's empty; she was hiding.

JOSH: All right, duct-tape the vents and the doors to make sure they can't get their cameras in here.

No light.

Everything you do is hidden.

Well, I'm gonna torture you like you torture your lab animals, just like I did to the old man.

You killed him.

No, we didn't.

He died. He's dead. You killed him!

He deserved it and so do you.


(breathing heavily)


Describe your work.

You slice open animal brains? You sew their eyes open?

What's your torture?

(phone ringing)

JOSH: Who is it?

Josh, this is Don Eppes; I'm with the FBI.

I'd like to work things out with you here, and I-I got you that camera you were asking for.

Is that so?

Does it have a bomb in it?

No, and I can promise you I won't lie to you, Josh, but I want to trade the camera for Professor Varma so we can get him some medical help.

What about the live video feed?

I got the camera right now, so how about we start there?

Let's not. (line disconnects)

Lie to him.

I mean, fake a live feed.

You never lie to them, Nikki. That's the first rule.

We get the camera in there, we can see what's going on.

It seems like a reasonable plan.

Lying's always worked for me.

Well, these kind of negotiations are different.

Why don't you go relieve David, okay?

Send him back here, please.

So tell me, what are the probabilities everybody walks out alive?

That's the goal, Larry.



All right, I will check in with Charlie and see if he's got anything on this very troubled young man.

What are we doing?

CHARLIE: You know, his papers are riddled with inductive argument fallacies, but his math is so creative, so original.

It's just terribly sad to lose a mind like this to mental illness.

In this one, he uses reason to prove that reason is not valuable.

I think there's a larger intention.

Here is an ecological model of the prisoner's dilemma constructed to prove that altruism in animals exceeds that of humans.

What do you think he's getting at?

Schizophrenics often feel like they have a direct line to the divine.

Josh Skinner's god seems to be animals.

I respect animals, you know.

Do you have any pets?

I have a dog.

You shouldn't own a pet any more than you should own a slave.

You're destroying his soul.

(phone ringing)


Josh, I'm not even going to discuss a live feed with you until you give me Professor Varma.

No, he has to confess his crimes first on camera.

All right, I'll give you the camera.

You open the door, I'll give it to you.


Come on in. DON: All right, I'm coming.

Let's just stay calm now, Josh.

I'm calm.

You calm?

(overlapping chatter)

I'll get in the door and then I'll just see the layout.

I won't call it unless the situation gets compromised.

(garbled radio transmission)

DAVID: Liz, how are you doing?

Almost there.


I surrender, man!

I'm non-violent!

Where are you going, man? They're dangerous.

I didn't mean to kill anybody! I didn't sign up for this!

Josh, we're coming in now.

Nice and easy.

JOSH: What are you doing with him?

Don't hurt him.

He's scared. Okay? We're not gonna hurt anybody.

Just relax.

Here's the camera, right?

Just like I promised.

I'd like to get the professor some help.


What are you doing here?

Hey, Josh.

Hey. How you doing?

Uh, fi... I'm great.

Wait, wait, wait.

How-how did you know I was here?

Did you see it on the news?

Yeah. Yeah, I did.

Okay, here's the camera.

All right? I'm just gonna put it down.


I'm gonna put it down right here, and we're gonna go, okay?


We're going.

Sarah, you're going to stay, right?

Yeah, sure, I am.

No, she's got to come with me.

Sarah stays. I can't do that.

NIKKI: Okay. Okay. I got this.

Get out!

Close the door.

Let's talk for a minute, all right?

I can't believe you came to help me.

All right, so, uh, who should we kill?

Nobody, Josh.

(echoing) Let's, uh...

Let's put our guns down, all right?

You first.

DAVID (over radio): Heads up, Liz.

Nikki is in the room with them.

What's Nikki doing in there?

Skinner thinks she's someone named Sarah, which means he is dangerously out of touch with reality, okay?

Use extreme caution.


All right, guys, listen up now.

He's got Lorna here in the center with a gun to her head.

He's got the professor here on the four side.

Now, Nikki is by the door.

Right? So, we're gonna be going in behind her.

Okay. My access point is straight into the lab, but I'm going in blind, so I wait for your go.

DAVID: Now, Liz, you're coming in behind Skinner, okay?

Nikki may be firing in your direction.

All right, got it. I'll stay low.

DON: So, Liz is gonna be coming in from here then, right?

There's an access here.

Got it? Let's go. Move, move.

Should we give Nikki a-a chance to talk him down?

No way, David. She's in way over her head.

Josh, hey, let's you and me get out of here, huh?

I thought you were going to help me.

I can't leave. I mean, this is the most important day of my life.

I'm exposing them.

All right, let's go talk about it. Talk about what?

Slaughter in the name of science?

The screams of the animals in these labs?

No. I know.

I just think we should, you know, take a breath, okay?

Okay, your face is turning colors like it always does when you lie.

Why are you pointing that gun at me?

Let's put them both down, okay?

They turned you.

Oh, my God.


I thought you were pure like the animals, but you're just another corrupt Homo sapien.

Confess before you pass out.

What kind of work do you do?


Researching a vaccine for HIV.

On what animals?

Tell me! I can look it up.

Rhesus macaques.

They have, like, 99% the same DNA as humans.

How can you do that?!

Stop, all right?

I don't want to shoot you, but I will.

I'm not going to let you kill anybody, Josh.



Are you even really here?

She's really here, Josh.

Wh... Why should I believe you?


So, what's underneath Josh Skinner's twisted thinking is belief that animals have higher spiritual powers than human beings.

He seems to really despise human beings as being inferior and corrupt.

One might surmise that from the fact that he's holding several of them hostage, but how does that help us?

He believes animals are gods.

And what does a believer do for a god?

Ah! Obey.

JOSH: Say it. Tell the truth!

LORNA: I study the migratory patterns of birds and outbreaks of avian flu.

You kill birds! No.

I will shoot you. Tell the truth.

You cut them open. You kill birds.

I don't kill birds. Liar! Say it.

You cut their beaks off, you torture them.

I hear their screams in this building.


I am pro-research, and I am pro-animal.

You can't be both.

(gun chamber clicking) NIKKI: Josh!

(door opening)


Hey, where did you come from?


Arms behind your back.


Don't hurt the dog!

The dog is safe.

You okay?

Glad to see you.

Yeah. Sure.

Hey, that was close, but it worked out.

Well, you screwed up.

Look, I was improvising in a highly dynamic situation.

I don't care. Want to do this, learn how to do it right.

You all right?


Having the dog come in was so insightful.

Who thought of it?

LARRY: Well, school is getting back to normal.


LARRY: Certainly was nice to see you back in your lab.

I'm ready.

Ha ha!

So, you're serious about this?

Oh, they have no idea what they're in for.

LARRY: Amita, tell me.

Do you have an athletic history?

Yeah, intramurals in high school.

ALAN: Well, that counts. Sort of.

(Amita sighs)

You ready?

You're going to have to be our secret weapon, because my better sport has always been crosswords.

We'll be waiting for you with ice packs on your return.


She's got gumption.

I'll, I'll say that about her.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She does.

She really does.

Oh, uh, you were talking about Amita?

Yes, I was.

You and Lorna, huh?

Well, yeah, she's an impressive woman.

Well, I can see that.

Well, Dad, I'm, uh... I'm slaughtering you at chess.

Shall we call it a draw and go grab something to eat?

Yeah, why don't we?

LARRY: Guess I should warn you.

I am considering vegetarianism.

ALAN: You are?


Well, this unnerving event has inspired in me ethical considerations of animal cognition and experimentation.

And until I know what my opinion is, I think I should refrain from devouring the subject of my search.

Fair enough. Mm.

It is a complex moral matter.

I mean, virtually every advance in medicine for the last century has been at the expense of experimental animals, but where do you draw the line?

In invertebrates?

Does drosophila not suffer?

Pity the poor fruit fly.

Is Lorna a vegetarian?

Yes, she is.

So this is really about lust, then.


She is very impressive.

That's what I thought.

And in all the spaces

What kind of life have you made?



Hey, were you really going to let that guy shoot you before you said what he wanted to hear?

I can be stubborn.

Yeah, I don't know nothing about that.

Hey, speaking of hardheaded, I hear Don's sending you to hostage negotiation training.

Ah... well, you don't need me Oh!

Dang! You're on fire, Amita.


I thought we were going to have to take it easy on the eggheads.

I thought you said you played.

NIKKI: In a minute, I'm gonna have to switch partners.

Another set?

Let's go.