On the Line (2001) Script

[WIND BLOWING]

[SIREN IN DISTANCE]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Kevin: ♪ AW, ONE, TWO PRINCES KNEEL BEFORE YOU ♪ Teen: ♪ THAT'S WHAT I SAID NOW ♪

♪ PRINCES, PRINCES WHO ADORE YOU ♪

♪ JUST GO AHEAD NOW ♪

♪ ONE HAS-- ♪

♪ AND THAT'S SOME BREAD NOW ♪

♪ THIS ONE SAID HE WANTS TO BUY YOU ROCKETS ♪

♪ AIN'T IN HIS HEAD ♪

♪ MARRY HIM OR MARRY ME... ♪ Kevin: IT ALL STARTED BECAUSE OF A GIRL AT A PARTY.

♪ I AIN'T GOT NO FUTURE OR FAMILY TREE ♪ Kevin: SPRING, 1994.

THAT WAS OUR BAND-- GRANITE.

WE WERE ALL ABOUT THE ROCK.

I MEAN, WE WERE HARDCORE.

♪ AND IF YOU WANT TO TELL ME MAYBE ♪

♪ JUST GO AHEAD NOW ♪

♪ AND IF YOU WANT TO BUY ME FLOWERS ♪

♪ JUST GO AHEAD NOW ♪

♪ AND IF YOU LIKE TO TALK FOR HOURS ♪

♪ JUST GO AHEAD NOW ♪

♪ GO AHEAD NOW ♪ Crowd: GRANITE! GRANITE!

[FEEDBACK]

Crowd: GRANITE! GRANITE!

Kevin: AND THIS WAS THE MOMENT.

MY BIG CHANCE TO IMPRESS THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS.

KEV, I GOT A GREAT IDEA. WHAT?

WHY DON'T WE JUST SING THE BALLAD THAT I WROTE, DEDICATE IT TO HER, AND THEN WHEN IT'S OVER, JUST ASK HER OUT.

COME ON, WHAT ARE YOU, STUPID? SHE'S RIGHT THERE.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO THE BALLAD.

I CAN DO THIS.

Girl: GRANITE!

YEAH, KEVIN, YOU CAN DO IT.

COME ON, KEVIN.

DON'T BE SUCH A WUSS. COME ON, JUST DO IT.

Kevin: I DIDN'T DO IT. I JUST FROZE.

COME ON, KEVIN, DON'T BE A TULIP!

Kevin: MY HEART STARTED POUNDING.

MY PITS STARTED SWEATING.

Crowd: AW... I FELT NAKED UP THERE.

KEVIN.

KEVIN. KEVIN!

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT IS IT?

[THUD]

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, MAN.

THAT STORY GETS FUNNIER EVERY TIME I HEAR IT.

YEAH. THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT.

MAN, COME ON. YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS?

I THINK IT'S A LACK OF SELF-CONFIDENCE.

I MEAN, I KNOW YOU GO OUT ON DATES AND EVERYTHING, BUT I THINK WHEN YOU FIND THE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS, YOU CAN'T SEAL THE DEAL, YOU KNOW?

PICK THE FRUIT, SPIT THE WAD.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

NO, I DON'T.

Boy: I THINK WHAT YOUR FRIEND IS TRYING TO SAY IS THAT YOU'RE SUFFERING FROM A CLASSIC PSYCHOSOMATIC COMMUNICATIVE ANXIETY DISORDER.

BASICALLY, YOU MEET THE RIGHT GIRL, YOU CHOKE.

THAT'S WHAT I WAS SAYING.

DUDE, YOU GOT TO RELAX.

WATCH ME WORK.

FRENCH FRY?

[BELL RINGS]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

FKR. HOW CAN I DIRECT YOUR CALL?

HOLD, PLEASE.

YEAH. HAVE IT UNDER CONTROL?

GOOD MORNING, MARGIE.

FKR. HOW CAN I DIRECT YOUR CALL?

HOLD, PLEASE. OK.

♪ HEY, BABY ♪

♪ HEY, BABY ♪

♪ YEAH, BABY ♪

♪ YEAH, BABY ♪

♪ HEY, BABY ♪

♪ YEAH, BABY ♪

♪ YEAH, BABY ♪ OOPS.

[WOMEN CHATTERING AND LAUGHING]

HEY, NATHAN, HOW'S IT GOING?

I GOT TO SPEND ANOTHER ONE OF MY REMAINING DAYS IN THIS PURGATORY.

I GOT CATARACTS THE SIZE OF CANTALOUPES, AND I HAVEN'T HAD A DECENT BOWEL MOVEMENT SINCE THE REAGAN ADMINISTRATION.

OK.

[BASEBALL GAME ON TV]

SO, ARE YOU EVER GOING TO TELL ME ABOUT THAT BASEBALL?

NO.

[MECHANICAL WHIR]

[MACHINE BEEPING]

COME ON, LUCILLE.

DON'T DIE ON ME NOW.

DADDY KNOWS YOU'RE TIRED, BUT DADDY ALSO KNOWS YOU GOT ANOTHER FEW IN YOU.

YES, YOU DO.

DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT WORKS?

SOMETIMES, BUT WHEN IT DOESN'T, YOU GIVE HER A LITTLE LOVE TAP.

[CLUNK]

[MACHINE WHIRS]

UHH.

GOOD MORNING, JACKIE.

Jackie: GOOD MORNING.

UH, GIBBONS?

I NEED YOU IN HERE, PLEASE.

Higgins: YOU'VE DONE EXCELLENT WORK HERE, AND NOW LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.

WHAT DOES REEBOK STAND FOR?

UM, I BELIEVE THE REEBOK IS A TYPE OF AFRICAN GAZELLE.

[LOUD WHIRRING]

NO.

REEBOK STANDS FOR CREDIBILITY AND PRESTIGE.

WE ARE GOING GLOBAL.

WHEATGRASS? I'LL PASS.

REEBOK WANTS US TO DO THEIR FEMALE 'TWEENS FOOTWEAR CAMPAIGN.

'TWEENS? 'TWEENS, GIBBONS--

FOR FEMALES BETWEEN THEIR ADOLESCENCE AND TEEN YEARS. GET WITH IT, GIBBONS.

OHH. JACKIE, COULD YOU COME IN HERE, PLEASE?

MR. HIGGINS, THIS IS SUCH A GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR ME.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. WELL, THEN DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

I MIGHT CHANGE MY MIND. YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?

YES. HOW'S THE REEBOK CAMPAIGN COMING ALONG?

EXCELLENT, SIR.

I HAVEN'T COMPLETED THE CONCEPT YET, BUT I'M CLOSE.

WELL, YOU JUST GOT A LITTLE BIT CLOSER.

GIBBONS HERE IS JOINING THE CREATIVE TEAM.

HMM.

Kevin: OK, REEBOK.

ALL RIGHT.

WE HAVE 2 BABY CHICKENS, AND THEY'RE BOTH WEARING REEBOKS.

ONE IS GOING, "REE."

THE OTHER IS GOING, "BOK."

REEBOK, REEBOK.

THAT'S MORONIC, MORONIC.

[SIGHS] [SQUEAKS]

I GOT IT.

IMAGINE MY EXCITEMENT.

WAIT. OK. PICTURE THIS.

YOU HAVE GIRLS AT A PARTY, GIRLS ON THE SOCCER FIELD, GIRLS AT A CONCERT ALL WEARING REEBOK.

AND THE TAG LINE?

FOR GIRLS WHO CHOOSE TO MOVE.

♪ YEAH, BABY ♪ WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK THE WHEATGRASS HAS FINALLY GONE TO HIGGINS' HEAD FOR PUTTING YOU ON THE TEAM.

YOU LIKED IT THAT MUCH?

LOOK, I'VE WORKED AT THIS OFFICE FOR 5 YEARS.

I'VE GOT SENIORITY ON YOU.

THIS SHOULD BE MY ACCOUNT.

YOU DON'T LIKE ME VERY MUCH, DO YOU?

BRILLIANT DEDUCTION, SCOOBY.

NOW LET'S GET BACK TO WORK AND COME UP WITH SOME GOOD IDEAS.

Al Green: ♪ HEY, DIDN'T GO FOR THAT ♪

♪ IT'S A NATURAL FACT ♪

♪ NOW I WANNA COME BACK ♪

♪ WON'T YOU SHOW ME WHERE IT'S AT ♪

♪ WHERE IT'S AT ♪

♪ I'M SO TIRED OF BEING ALONE ♪

♪ I'M SO TIRED OF ON MY OWN ♪

♪ WON'T YOU HELP ME, GIRL ♪

♪ JUST AS SOON AS YOU CAN ♪ Al Green: ♪ YEAH, I GUESS YOU KNOW ♪

♪ THAT I LOVE YOU SO ♪ SORRY.

♪ YOU DON'T WANT ME NO MORE ♪

[TURNS OFF MUSIC]

Abbey: I CAN'T NEXT TO YOU.

EXCUSE ME?

I'M SO TIRED OF BEING ALONE IS A GREAT AL GREEN SONG, BUT I CAN'T GET NEXT TO YOU SEEMS A LITTLE MORE APPROPRIATE RIGHT NOW.

AND WHY'S THAT?

BECAUSE I CAN'T GET NEXT TO YOU.

OH.

Abbey: AHEM.

THANKS.

AHEM.

I ENJOYED YOUR PERFORMANCE.

THANKS.

AL GREEN HELPS ME CLEAR MY HEAD.

IT'S A MENTAL THING. YIKES.

I HEAR HE'S PLAYING AT THE OPERA HOUSE IN 2 WEEKS.

MAYBE HE'S LOOKING FOR AN OPENING ACT.

YOU LIKE THE REVEREND?

[LAUGHS]

MY MOM WAS LISTENING TO LOVE AND HAPPINESS WHEN SHE WAS IN LABOR WITH ME.

I THINK HE'S... DEFINITELY IN MY SOUL.

HA HA.

SO... WHAT DO YOU DO BESIDES APPROACH STRANGE MEN ON THE "L"?

I GO TO SCHOOL-- GRAD SCHOOL.

WHAT DO YOU STUDY? ARCHEOLOGY.

ARCHEOLOGY.

WHAT DO YOU DO BESIDES SERENADE STRANGE PEOPLE ON THE "L"?

OH, WAIT. WAIT, WAIT.

LET ME GUESS.

YOU ARE AN AD MAN.

NOW, HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

IT'S STITCHED ON YOUR BAG.

[LAUGHS]

HAVE YOU DONE ANYTHING I MIGHT'VE SEEN?

I DON'T KNOW. UH...

I HAD A HAND IN THE POP SECRET POPCORN CAMPAIGN.

♪ BUTTER MAKES IT BETTER, BABY ♪ THAT'S IT. THAT'S ME.

I ACTUALLY WROTE THAT.

SO NOW WHEN I GO TO WRIGLEY AND ROOT FOR THE CUBBIES, I CAN LOOK UP AT THE BIG POP SECRET BILLBOARD AND THINK OF YOU.

YOU'RE A CUBS FAN? HECK, YEAH. BORN AND RAISED.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. UM...

SO, TELL ME. TELL ME YOUR BEST AND WORST CUB MOMENT.

BEST-- WHENEVER THEY WIN.

OF COURSE.

WORST--GAME 5 IN THE '84 PLAYOFFS.

Both: THE GROUND BALL WENT THROUGH DURHAM'S LEGS.

THAT IS THE WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE.

HORRIBLE. I WAS SO DEPRESSED.

I DIDN'T EVEN GO TO SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY.

I CRIED.

OK, MOST GUYS WOULDN'T ADMIT THAT.

YEAH. I DON'T KNOW WHY I JUST TOLD YOU THAT.

Driver: NEXT STOP, ADAMS--

ADAMS AND WABASH.

THAT'S MY STOP.

[LAUGHS]

MINE, TOO.

AFTER YOU.

THANK YOU.

SO, TELL ME SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULD ONLY TELL A STRANGER.

UH...WHOO.

I LIKE TO MAKE PAPER AIRPLANES.

MY DAD'S A PILOT.

REALLY?

OH, WAIT. DO YOU HAVE A PIECE OF PAPER?

YEAH, SURE.

WHAT, AM I GOING TO GET, A LITTLE DEMONSTRATION?

UH-HUH. A LITTLE DEMONSTRATION.

THANK YOU.

THAT'S VERY IMPRESSIVE.

THANK YOU. IT'S MY OWN DESIGN.

AH.

ALL RIGHT, THIS IS MY FAVORITE SPOT.

SO, YOU'VE DONE THIS BEFORE?

MANY TIMES.

YOU READY?

I GUESS.

HERE WE GO.

STRONG TAKEOFF.

SMOOTH FLIGHT.

EXCELLENT PAPER AIRPLANE.

Abbey: THANK YOU.

OH! HA HA HA!

BUT I THINK YOUR LANDING NEEDS A LITTLE WORK.

YEAH, A LITTLE.

DEFINITELY.

ALL RIGHT, DON'T THINK YOU'RE GETTING OFF SO EASY.

IT'S YOUR TURN.

I DON'T KNOW. UM...

LET'S SEE. UHH.

OK. YOU'RE TOTALLY GOING TO THINK I'M LAME, BUT I CAN NAME ALL THE PRESIDENTS IN ORDER.

WASHINGTON, ADAMS, JEFFERSON, MADISON, MONROE, ADAMS, JACKSON, VAN BUREN, HARRISON, TYLER, POLK, TAYLOR, FILLMORE, PIERCE, BUCHANAN, LINCOLN, JOHNSON, GRANT, HAYES, GARFIELD, ARTHUR, CLEVELAND, HARRISON...

Both: McKINLEY, ROOSEVELT, TAFT, WILSON, HARDING, COOLIDGE, HOOVER, ROOSEVELT, TRUMAN, EISENHOWER, KENNEDY, JOHNSON, NIXON, FORD, CARTER, REAGAN, BUSH, CLINTON, BUSH.

WOW. HA HA!

OK, I THINK WE'RE THE ONLY 2 PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO CAN DO THAT AT THE SAME TIME.

I THINK YOU MAY BE RIGHT.

OK, THAT'S AMAZING.

[LAUGHS]

UM...

I GOT TO CATCH THE CONNECTING TRAIN.

RIGHT.

UM...

WELL, LISTEN...

IT WAS A PLEASURE...

COMMUTING WITH YOU.

YEAH, IT REALLY WAS.

WELL...

BYE.

HA HA!

♪ COME ON ♪

♪ LOVE IS LIKE A BOMB, BABY ♪

♪ COME ON, GET IT ON ♪

♪ LIVIN' LIKE A LOVER WITH A RADAR PHONE ♪

♪ HEY! TO THE BONE ♪

♪ RISE A LITTLE, DANCE A LITTLE ♪

♪ FLASH A LITTLE LIGHT ♪

♪ TELEVISION LOVER, BABY, GO ALL NIGHT ♪

♪ TAKE THE BOTTLE ♪

♪ SHAKE IT UP ♪

♪ BREAK THE BUBBLE ♪

♪ BREAK IT UP ♪

♪ POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME ♪

♪ OOH, IN THE NAME OF LOVE ♪ YO, MAN, COME ON, TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED.

YOU'RE SITTING ON THE TRAIN. SHE STANDS UP.

DOOR'S OPEN. SHE'S ABOUT TO GET OFF, BUT SHE STOPS, RIGHT?

DID YOU SAY SOMETHING TO HER?

I SAID IT WAS A PLEASURE COMMUTING WITH HER.

"IT WAS A PLEASURE COMMUTING WITH YOU?"

♪ I'M HOT ♪ OH, THAT'S GREAT. YOU COULDN'T SAY, LIKE--

[COUGHS] ♪ FROM MY HEAD ♪ NO NUMBER, NO FINGERPRINTS, NO PLACE OF BUSINESS?

OK, FINE. I TANKED.

AGAIN? MAN, YOU NEED SOME HELP.

YEAH.

[FEEDBACK]

[CROWD CHEERS, WHISTLES]

YEAH!

Man: COME ON! OW! WHOO! MAN.

WHAT'S UP, GUYS?

HEY, THAT WAS HOT, MAN.

IT WAS GREAT. IT WAS FANTASTIC.

IT STUNK. I MEAN I CAN'T FREAKIN' BELIEVE THESE GUYS.

MAN, I MEAN, THE BAND WAS JUST AWFUL.

DUDE, IT WASN'T THAT BAD. COME ON, I WAS IN THE BAND.

YOU. YOU SHOULD'VE NEVER-- DON'T EVEN START THIS, MAN.

YOU SHOULD'VE NEVER QUIT THE BAND.

GENTLEMEN, THIS IS THE OLDEST ARGUMENT.

IT WAS A HIGH SCHOOL BAND.

NO, IT WASN'T. YOU KNOW WHAT IT WAS.

YEAH. IT WAS THE BEST HIGH SCHOOL BAND EVER!

Both: GRANITE! GRANITE! GRANITE! GRANITE!

GIMME SOME! GIMME SOME! GIMME SOME! GIMME SOME!

THE CHICKS WERE HOT, MAN. THEY WERE GREAT.

YEAH. OH, MY GOSH.

IS THAT BRADY FREAKIN' FRANCES?

WHAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW HE WROTE A COLUMN FOR THE POST?

NO. OOH, THAT'S RIGHT. I FORGOT.

YOU JUST SKIP RIGHT TO THE FAMILY CIRCUS.

HEY, FAMILY CIRCUS IS A GOOD COMIC.

IT'S, LIKE, ONE SQUARE, AND THEN YOU'RE DONE WITH IT, OK?

BRADY FRANCES-- NO, BRADY FRANCES--

THE GUY THAT KEVIN SWOOPED IN ON HIS GIRL BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL PROM TIME, YOU REMEMBER?

OH, MY GOODNESS. THAT WAS A FREAKIN' CLASSIC, MAN.

IT WAS A CALAMITY IS WHAT IT WAS.

THAT'S NOT EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.

AW, MAN. THAT WAS 7 YEARS AGO.

I GOT ANOTHER SET, GUYS, TO DO, SO...

HEY, PLAY SOMETHING GOOD.

HAVE A GOOD SET. Rod: OK.

HEY, LOOK, MAN, LET'S FACE IT.

YOU'RE 24 YEARS OLD. IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME YOU EVER CHOKED WITH A CHICK.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? YOU GOT A PROBLEM.

YEAH, BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT.

I MEAN...

THIS GIRL WAS INCREDIBLE. YEAH?

YOU KNOW, IT'S EMBARRASSING WHEN EVERYONE KNOWS YOU AS THE GUY THAT ALWAYS CHOKES.

HEY, MAN, COME ON. NOT EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.

2 MORE, PLEASE.

[PLAYING GUITAR]

KEVIN...

THIS ONE'S FOR YOU.

♪ KEVIN SITS SILENTLY STILL ♪

♪ IN THE DEAD OF THE DAY ♪ HUH?

♪ WONDERIN' IF HE FINDS THAT GIRL ♪

♪ THAT JUST WALKED AWAY ♪ HMM...

♪ WAS IT SOMETHING HE SAID ♪

♪ OR SOMETHING HE DID ♪

♪ DID THE WORDS NOT COME OUT RIGHT ♪

♪ HE DIDN'T TRY TO GET THE DIGITS ♪

♪ HE DIDN'T TRY ♪

♪ BUT I GUESS THAT'S WHY THEY SAY ♪

♪ KEVIN CRAPPED OUT ON HIS OWN ♪

[PATS BACK] UH... NOW EVERYBODY KNOWS.

♪ BUT HIS FRIENDS ♪

♪ WOULD'VE HELPED HIM ALL ALONG ♪

♪ THAT POOR BONEHEAD ♪

AW, MAN, YOU CAN TRACK HER DOWN, YOU KNOW.

HOW?

I DON'T KNOW. LOJACK.

YOU COULD, UM... RIDE THE TRAIN EVERY DAY LOOKING FOR HER.

YOU COULD PUT UP POSTERS ALL OVER TOWN. I DON'T KNOW.

YEAH. "SINGLE WHITE MALE SEEKS COMMUTER ON TRAIN TO SHARE INTIMATE SECRETS."

[LAUGHS] YEAH, BUD, THAT'S KIND OF COOL, BUT I WAS THINKING MORE LIKE, "DOG WHO LOSES BONE SEEKS TRAIN TRAMP."

[BARKS]

BRAIN DAMAGE.

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

HEY, YOU. YOU'RE BACK.

HEY.

SO, HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND IN CHICAGO, HMM?

MMM. IT WAS FINE.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

SIT.

YOU JUST SPENT THE WEEKEND WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND OF 3 YEARS, WHO YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IN OVER A MONTH.

THAT DESERVES A "PHENOMENAL"

OR AT LEAST AN "EXCEPTIONAL,"

BUT DEFINITELY NOT JUST A "FINE."

WHAT IS UP?

I FOUND A GREAT APARTMENT IN LAKEVIEW.

IT'S RIGHT BY WRIGLEY, AND I CAN MOVE IN RIGHT AFTER GRADUATION.

BUT I THOUGHT THAT...

THAT YOU AND PAUL WERE GOING TO MOVE IN TOGETHER.

[SIGHS]

I DON'T KNOW, SAM.

EVERYTHING IS SO DIFFERENT.

[LAUGHS]

WHAT?

I MET A GUY ON THE TRAIN.

YOU MET A GUY ON THE TRAIN?

YES. HE WAS SO CUTE, AND HE WAS SO NICE.

AND HE TOTALLY LISTENED TO ME.

UHH.

WE CONNECTED MORE IN 5 MINUTES THAN I HAVE WITH PAUL OVER THE PAST YEAR.

HA HA!

ABBEY. HA HA!

WELL, YOU ALREADY KNOW JACKIE, SO LET ME INTRODUCE THE NEW MEMBER OF MY CREATIVE TEAM KEVIN GIBBONS.

AND MAY I SAY THAT MY TEAM HAS COME UP WITH A CAMPAIGN THAT I FEEL YOU WILL ALL AGREE HAS UNIVERSAL APPEAL.

SO, WITHOUT ANY FURTHER ADO, ALLOW ME TO PRESENT...

[SIGHS]

AND THE TAG LINE IS...

"REEBOK--

STEP INTO THE FUTURE."

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[GULP]

[WHISPERING]

IT'S A LITTLE, UH, COLD. HMM?

WE WERE HOPING FOR SOMETHING MORE LIVELY, WITH A LITTLE MORE DEPTH.

HUH. ACTUALLY--

ACTUALLY, WE TOTALLY AGREE.

THAT'S WHY I--WE CAME UP WITH SOMETHING SO FABULOUS.

DID WE?

WELL, I DON'T LIKE SURPRISES, YOU KNOW.

MMM.

LET ME PRESENT TO YOU WHAT WE BELIEVE WILL BE REEBOK'S NEW CAMPAIGN.

AHEM. GIRLS AT A PARTY, GIRLS AT SCHOOL, GIRLS AT A CONCERT, GIRLS AT A SOCCER FIELD--

ALL WEARING REEBOKS.

THE TAGLINE?

"FOR GIRLS WHO CHOOSE TO MOVE."

BUT THAT'S--

THAT'S GREAT.

WHEN CAN YOU HAVE IT BY?

UH, KEVIN HERE COULD MAKE COPIES OF THE MOCK-UPS AND MESSENGER THEM OVER TO YOU BY THE END OF THE BUSINESS DAY.

COULDN'T YOU, KEVIN?

SURE.

Higgins: WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL.

PHENOMENAL WORK, JACKIE.

WHY DIDN'T I SAY ANYTHING?

WHY DIDN'T I SAY ANYTHING?

I KNOW WHY. I KNOW WHY.

IT'S BECAUSE I'M AFRAID TO TAKE A CHANCE.

BECAUSE I'M AFRAID TO TAKE A CHANCE.

[SIGHS]

[COPY MACHINE WHIRRING]

I'M SITTING ON THE SIDELINES ALL MY LIFE.

WHY AM I SO SCARED?

ALWAYS AFRAID TO TAKE A CHANCE.

Man: ♪ I'M LAYIN' IT ON THE LINE ♪

♪ TO SHOW YOU ♪

♪ I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO ♪

♪ ON THE LINE FOR YOUR LOVE ♪

♪ THERE'S NOTHING I WANT MORE ♪

♪ ANOTHER DEAD-END STREET ♪

♪ ANOTHER LOVE GONE WRONG ♪

♪ ANOTHER SHATTERED DREAM ♪

♪ ALWAYS THE SAME OLD SONG ♪

♪ I STARTED THINKIN' THAT ♪

♪ YOU'D NEVER COME ALONG ♪

♪ I GOT ALL THIS LOVE INSIDE ♪

♪ THAT WILL SHOW NO WORDS TONIGHT ♪

♪ I WISH YOU KNEW WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH ♪

♪ TO GET TO YOU ♪

♪ I'M LAYIN' IT ON THE LINE ♪

♪ THIS TIME ♪

♪ JUST TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ NO MORE, YEAH, YEAH ♪

♪ ON THE LINE TO SHOW YOU ♪

♪ NEVER GONNA LET YOU, NEVER GONNA LET YOU GO ♪

♪ ON THE LINE FOR YOUR LOVE ♪

♪ THERE'S NOTHING I WANT MORE ♪

♪ WHEN YOU SMILE ♪

♪ I FEEL MY HEART OPEN, YEAH ♪

♪ I KNOW THERE'S NOTHING THAT I WOULD NOT DO ♪

♪ I'M LAYIN' IT ON THE LINE THIS TIME ♪

♪ JUST TO BE WITH YOU ♪ Woman: OK, I'LL CHECK.

Woman: CHICAGO DAILY POST. CAN I HELP YOU?

SURE. OK.

Woman: CHICAGO DAILY POST. CAN I HELP YOU?

BRADY FRANCES'S DESK.

[VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING]

BRADY, MY OFFICE.

THIS IS YOUR NEXT STORY.

IT'S A COMPELLING HUMAN INTEREST PIECE.

BUT, SIR, I WANT TO DO HARD NEWS.

UH-HUH.

AND I WANT A CLEAR NASAL PASSAGE.

WE CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT WE WANT.

[SNORTS]

UHH. YOU KNOW...

I PUT YOU IN PERSONALS BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE ARE MISERABLE, AND I THINK YOU CAN RELATE, BRADY.

THE KID'S NAME IS KEVIN GIBBONS.

KEVIN GIBBONS?

AH, WE CHECKED IT OUT.

HUH. I CAN'T. I KNOW HIM.

SO?

LOOK, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I HAVE A HISTORY WITH THIS GUY.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

DUDE, I'M TELLING YOU, YOU ASK OUT A GIRL LIKE KAYLA SANDERS, AND YOU'RE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR REJECTION, HUMILIATION, ALIENATION.

Brady: DON'T WORRY. I'VE GOT DETERMINATION.

HEY, KAYLA.

BRADY FRANCES. WE'RE IN FRENCH CLASS TOGETHER.

I'M THE ONE THAT ALWAYS GETS NOSEBLEEDS.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO THE PROM WITH ME?

HOLD ON A SECOND.

HEY, KEVIN. HI.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO THE PROM WITH ME?

SURE. I'D LOVE TO.

SORRY.

I'M ALREADY GOING TO THE PROM WITH KEVIN GIBBONS.

[SOFTLY] NO.

KEVIN GIBBONS.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

[SIGHS]

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU HARBOR ANIMOSITY TOWARDS THIS KEVIN BECAUSE SOME GIRL WANTED TO GO TO THE PROM WITH HIM INSTEAD OF YOU? WELL--

SPELLBINDING PITY, BUT THE STORY'S STILL YOURS.

[SIGHS] YES, SIR.

HEY, HEY, HEY, AND BRADY...

NOW GET OUT OF HERE AND DON'T MESS THIS ONE UP.

JENNA, YEAH. I CHANGED MY 12:00 LUNCH.

[SIGHS] IT'S PAYBACK TIME.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HEY, DUDE, YOU DON'T LOOK SO GOOD.

REALLY? YEAH.

[RING] REALLY. YOU USUALLY LOOK BETTER.

WHAT, CAN YOU NOT HEAR THE PHONE?

Roommate: JAUNDICE? Eric: YEAH, KIND OF YELLOW.

WHERE'S THE PHONE?

IS MY ADAM'S APPLE ALL PATHETIC?

HELLO?

Woman: HELLO, KEVIN, IT'S ME.

THE GIRL FROM THE "L" TRAIN.

IT'S YOU. WOW. I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D CALL.

OF COURSE I CALLED. HOW ARE YOU?

HEY, IS THAT THE CHICK FROM THE TRAIN.

Woman: THAT POSTER...

Both: HEY, IS IT THAT THE CHICK FROM THE TRAIN?

DUDE, IS THAT THE CHICK FROM THE--

[WHISPERING] Shut up.

OH, YEAH, IT'S GOT TO BE.

SO, UH, CAN WE MEET UP?

CHUGGA, CHUGGA, CHOO, CHOO.

HOW ABOUT GOODY'S DINER?

Both: CHOO, CHOO!

1 O' CLOCK? ALL RIGHT.

Both: CHUGGA, CHUGGA, CHOO, CHOO!

YEAH? YEAH.

Both: YEAH!

♪ THIS IS MY ONE CHANCE TO BE A ROCK STAR ♪

♪ COME ON AND CALL ME ♪

♪ THIS IS MY IMAGE, THESE ARE MY DANCES ♪

[EXHALES]

Abbey: HI.

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

WHAT? NO, NO, NO.

THE SUCKER'S GOING TO SPLIT IN A MATTER OF DAYS.

YEAH. NO. NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO SELL.

OK.

[SIGHS]

WORK.

YOU KNOW, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO COME UP THIS WEEKEND.

THAT'S OK. HEY, COME ON.

IT'S MY TURN. BESIDES, I GOT SOME WORK DONE ON THE TRAIN.

[SITAR MUSIC PLAYING]

I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE, BUT...

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

WHEN I SAW YOUR POSTER, I JUST KNEW I HAD TO MEET YOU.

I COULD TELL THAT WE WOULD HAVE...

A COSMIC CONNECTION.

YOU SENSED THAT FROM A POSTER?

YES. HOW'S SCHOOL?

OH, HECTIC, WITH FINALS NEXT WEEK.

WELL, SOON, YOU'LL BE BACK HOME IN CHICAGO, WE'LL BE TOGETHER, AND YOU CAN RELAX.

ACTUALLY, I WAS THINKING...

I WANT TO VOLUNTEER FOR THE FIELD MUSEUM WHEN I GET BACK.

ABBEY...

I APPRECIATE, YOU KNOW, YOUR FOSSIL HOBBY, BUT--

PAUL...

IT'S NOT JUST A HOBBY.

YOU'RE A WATER SIGN. NO.

[JEWELRY JINGLES]

OH.

UH-HUH.

VIRGO. UH-UH.

OH. YOU SEE, KEVIN, ASTROLOGY IS ACTUALLY CHOCK-FULL OF--SHOOT!

WHAT? PORK.

GET THIS AWAY FROM ME. GET THIS AWAY FROM ME.

IT'S OK. IT'S OK.

LISTEN, PORK HAPPENS.

DON'T PATRONIZE ME. EXCUSE ME?

WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR, SOME KIND OF FREAK?

YOU DID CALL ME OUT OF THE BLUE FROM A POSTER.

WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE I THOUGHT WE HAD A CONNECTION--

A COSMIC CONNECTION, KEVIN.

AND I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU'D BE DIFFERENT, BUT YOU'RE NOT.

YOU'RE ALL THE SAME-- ALL OF YOU.

AND I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS.

I'M FROM OREGON.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

OW! WHAT DID I DO?

[DOOR CLOSES]

Paul: I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CALL YOU LATER, OK?

YEAH.

[SIGHS] SO, WHERE WERE WE?

WE WERE TALKING ABOUT US. WE WERE?

NO, BUT I THINK WE SHOULD. WELL, ABBEY--

PAUL, THE ONLY TIME YOU GOT EXCITED TODAY IS WHEN YOUR PHONE RANG.

I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL LIKE THREE'S A CROWD.

WELL, I THINK I'VE GOT A WAY OF MAKING IT UP TO YOU.

WHAT'S THAT I SEE? YES, WE HAVE A SMILE.

HA!

AL GREEN AT THE OPERA HOUSE?

JUST YOU AND ME. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A GREAT TIME.

[CELL PHONE RINGS, CASH REGISTER RINGS]

YEAH?

Eric: OH, MAN. YOU WASH YOUR GRIMY BUTT IN MY TUB AGAIN, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY RENT, ALL RIGHT?

WELL, EXCUSE ME.

I MEAN, I GOT TO FRICKIN' TAKE A SHOWER.

MINE'S BUSTED AT MY APARTMENT, AND I GOT A GIG TONIGHT, SO I DON'T WANT TO SMELL LIKE B.O.

YEAH, MAYBE THAT'S WHY THAT RECORD CONTRACT HAS REMAINED SO ELUSIVE.

OH, YEAH?

OH, NICE SHOT.

YOU'RE A PHILISTINE.

YOU'RE A FLATULENT PHILISTINE.

Eric: GET OUT OF HERE, MAN.

MICK! MICK! MICK! MICK! MICK! MICK! MICK! MICK!

WELCOME BACK TO TRL, YOU GUYS.

TIMES SQUARE, NEW YORK CITY IS OFF THE HOOK, BECAUSE THIS MAN HAS ENTERED THE STUDIO.

HEY, ROD. Rod: YEAH.

YOUR HERO'S ON TV. NO WAY!

Host: I HAVE GREAT NEWS FOR YOU.

YOU HAVE MADE TRL HISTORY.

THE VIDEO FOR EVERY CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING--

26 STRAIGHT WEEKS AT NUMBER ONE.

YOU BROKE YOUR OWN RECORD, DUDE.

YOU BROKE YOUR OWN RECORD!

THAT HAS TO FEEL AMAZING. HOW DOES IT FEEL?

YOU KNOW, THE MICK WON THE RECORD, BUT THE MICK LOST THE RECORD AT THE SAME TIME.

IT'S UNFORTUNATE, THERE HAS TO BE A WINNER AND LOSER.

IN THIS CASE, THE MICK IS BOTH, SO THE MICK FEELS CONFLICTED.

Host: EITHER WAY IT GOES, YOU WIN.

DUDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS GUY.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE MUSIC INDUSTRY TODAY, HUH?

I GRADUATED FROM THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS, YOU KNOW, BUT THAT'S WHAT KEEPS THE MICK SO GROUNDED.

HE IS NOT ABOUT THE LOVE.

HE'S NOT ABOUT THE PASSION.

DUDE, I'M ABOUT THE LOVE.

AND THE PASSION.

AND THE ODOR. MAN!

BUT THE MICK'S GOING TO SHOW HIS MAD LOVE FOR CHI-TOWN LATER THIS WEEK.

Host: OH, HE'S GOING HOME.

HE'S GOING HOME!

THAT'S RIGHT. GIVE IT UP FOR MICK ON TRL!

HEY, AT LEAST HE HAS A DEGREE.

UHH! THIS GUY'S A TOOL.

I AM--I AM--I AM...

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

I GOT IT.

[RING]

YO, IT'S THE "E" TO THE "R" TO THE "I" TO THE "C"

IN THE PLACE TO BE. THAT'S ME. WHAT--WHAT?

BRADY FREAKIN' FRANCES?

BRADY FRANCES? FROM THE PAPER?

YO, WHAT UP, KID? OH, MAN, I'M CHILLIN'--

JUST COOLIN' AS THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PILLOW, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? Brady: UH, I DON'T GET IT.

NO, LIKE WHEN YOU WAKE UP LATE AT NIGHT, AND YOU--

FORGET IT, DUDE.

WHAT YOU WANT?

FOR REAL?

YEAH, YEAH, MAN. HANG ON A SECOND.

YO, HE WANTS TO INTERVIEW YOU FOR THE PAPER.

HE GOT ONE OF THOSE POSTERS, AND HE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THE GIRL FROM THE TRAIN.

[LAUGHS] NO WAY.

WAY. JUST CHILL FOR A SECOND.

THINK ABOUT THIS.

IF YOU GET YOUR NAME IN PRINT, AND PEOPLE START SEEING YOU AS SOME GUY WHO'S GOING TO TAKE A RISK, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE KNOWN AS THE GUY WHO CAN'T SEAL THE DEAL ANYMORE, RIGHT?

I'M NOT DOING AN INTERVIEW.

KEV, COME ON. I THINK IT WOULD BE A GREAT PR MOVE FOR YOU.

IT'LL HELP YOU FIND HER.

OK.

COOL.

♪ AH, SHADOOBIE ♪

♪ AH, AH, SHADOOBIE ♪

♪ DOO WAH ♪

♪ SHADOOBIE ♪

♪ AH, AH, SHADOOBIE, DOOBIE ♪

♪ HOLD ME UP, THAT'S WHERE I FELL ♪

♪ FOUND MYSELF DREAMIN' OF YOUR FACE ♪

♪ YOUR FACE, YOUR FACE, YOUR FACE ♪

♪ TOOK A LOT OF PLANS TO TAKE ♪

♪ SOMEHOW ENDED UP AT YOUR PLACE ♪

♪ YOUR PLACE, YOUR PLACE ♪

[WOMEN GIGGLE]

♪ AND HAVE I BEEN, TELL ME ♪

♪ TELL ME ♪

♪ WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP ME, HELP ME ♪

♪ DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE ♪

♪ AH, AH, SHADOOBIE ♪

♪ DOO WAH ♪

♪ SHADOOBIE ♪

♪ AH, AH, SHADOOBIE, DOOBIE ♪

♪ DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE? ♪

♪ AH, AH, SHADOOBIE ♪

♪ DOO WAH ♪

♪ SHADOOBIE ♪

♪ AH, AH, SHADOOBIE ♪

[KISSES] WAY TO GO, ROMEO.

[NATHAN LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS] HI, KEVIN.

[NATHAN LAUGHING]

Higgins: HA HA HA HA!

[LAUGHING]

GIBBONS.

OH HO HO!

OH, GIBBONS...

WHY DON'T YOU JUST OFFER A REWARD?

LIKE WITH A LOST PUPPY?

HA HA HA! OH!

OH, SON, IT'S SO SAD.

YOU'VE GOTTEN IT ALL BASS-ACKWARDS.

LOOK, FIRST YOU GET THE POWER, THEN YOU GET THE MONEY, AND THEN YOU BUY THE LOVE.

OH.

GIBBONS, PLEASE.

DON'T BE A DUMMY.

Woman: REEBOK'S ON THE LINE.

COULD YOU ASK THEM TO HOLD, PLEASE?

FOCUS ON THE JOB AT HAND.

MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO AROUND, AND ANYONE THAT TELLS YOU THAT MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL--

Woman: DOESN'T HAVE ANY.

HELLO?

ARE YOU TALKING TO THE YOUNG MAN FROM THE TRAIN?

YES.

WE'D LIKE HIM TO HEAD UP THE CREATIVE TEAM.

REALLY? REALLY?

REEBOK CAN USE PEOPLE WITH HIS KIND OF PASSION.

GIBBONS, IGNORE EVERYTHING I'VE EVER TOLD YOU.

Announcer: NOW BATTING, SECOND BASEMAN ERIC YOUNG.

Eric: STRAIGHT FROM THE OVEN OF YOUR MAMA'S HOUSE.

I'LL TAKE A BAG.

THERE YOU GO, FELLA.

YO, WHAT'S UP, FELLAS?

WHAT'S UP? MAN, NO-ACTION JACKSON OVER HERE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT THE GIRL FROM THE TRAIN.

AW, MAN, ARE YOU SERIOUS?

WOULD YOU CUT IT OUT ALREADY, DUDE?

YOU'RE LIKE THE POSTER BOY FOR THE ROMANTICALLY CHALLENGED.

HEY, YO, THIS GUY NEEDS A DATE.

HEY, ANYBODY READ THE NEWSPAPER TODAY?

THIS IS THE GUY FROM THE TRAIN WHO PUT UP THAT POSTER TRYING TO FIND THAT GIRL.

WOULD YOU SHUT UP?

OH, THAT'S SO ROMANTIC.

I HAVE A DAUGHTER.

OH, YEAH? DOES SHE EAT MEAT?

Announcer: NOW BATTING...

I DON'T KNOW WHY I TELL YOU GUYS ANYTHING.

FRED McGRIFF.

LISTEN, I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THIS.

I MEAN, IT'S LIKE MAYBE YOU THOUGHT HER UP IN YOUR MIND OR SOME STUFF LIKE THAT.

IT'S LIKE YOU THINK SHE'S, LIKE, JULIA ROBERTS, BUT IN REALITY, SHE'S LIKE DR. RUTH.

AS USUAL, ROD, I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU MEAN.

HEY, YOU REALLY THINK THIS BABE IS GOING TO CALL YOU?

I DON'T KNOW. I JUST WISH I KNEW WHERE SHE WAS.

Announcer: THE CUBS HAVE HAD 3 OPPORTUNITIES TO SCORE IN AS MANY AT-BATS TODAY.

AND TELEMACHO JUMPS AHEAD OF HIM 2 QUICK STRIKES.

HA HA! NOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE BRADY HOOKED YOU UP WITH THAT ARTICLE IN THE PAPER, CONSIDERING YOU DISSED AND DISMISSED HIS ASS BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL. DON'T YOU HAVE SOME WORK TO DO?

Announcer: AND HERE'S SAMMY SOSA IN THE FOURTH.

SAMMY HIT INTO A 6-4-3 INNING-ENDING DOUBLE PLAY IN THE FIRST.

THE CUBS HAVE HAD 3 OPPORTUNITIES TO SCORE...

OH!

OH!

HO HO!

OOH, THAT'S GOT TO HURT.

Player: I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S HIT THAT GUY

3 TIMES THIS SEASON.

DAMN! THAT'S THE THIRD TIME THIS SEASON I HIT THIS GUY.

Announcer: SAMMY LAUNCHED ONE SUNDAY, YOU'LL RECALL.

TODD HUNDLEY'S WAITING ON DECK.

HE GOT THE BALL! IT HIM IN THE--

Brady: WHAT?

Woman: YOU WANT NUTS IN YOUR NOODLES?

YEAH, SURE, WHATEVER.

[SIGHS]

HMM. YOU THINK SHE'LL CALL HIM?

HA! YOU THINK I CARE? YOU SHOULD CARE.

YOU'RE WRITING THE FOLLOW-UP ARTICLE ON HIM.

I HOPE SHE DOES CALL. HE SEEMS SWEET.

KEVIN GIBBONS IS A GIMP.

HE'S MAKING A COMPLETE IDIOT OF HIMSELF.

I MEAN, I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE PEOPLE ARE TAKING THE ARTICLE SERIOUSLY.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST THIS GUY?

NOTHING. I JUST DON'T SEE WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS.

WELL, HE TOOK A CHANCE. HE WENT FOR SOMETHING.

I THINK--I THINK WOMEN LIKE THAT.

IT'S ROMANTIC.

N'SYNC: ♪ THAT GIRL WILL NEVER BE MINE ♪

♪ OH ♪

♪ THAT GIRL ♪ Voice mail: YOU HAVE 47 MESSAGES.

♪ OH, FIRST TIME I SAW HER AT THE FRONT DOOR ♪

♪ THAT GIRL, THE FACE ON EVERY BILLBOARD ♪

♪ HANDS DOWN, YOU WON'T BELIEVE THE WAY ♪

♪ SHE LAID HER EYES ON ME ♪

♪ 6 FEET, I SPOT HER FROM THE CATWALK ♪

♪ SO FLY, WE GOT INTO A SMALL TALK ♪

♪ TOO BAD SHE HAD TO MOVE ALONG ♪

♪ ONE SMILE, AND SHE WAS GONE ♪

♪ I CAN'T EXPLAIN ♪

♪ I NEVER THOUGHT THAT I WAS GONNA LOSE MY HEAD ♪

♪ CALL ME INSANE ♪

♪ THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY ♪

♪ HOW CAN I GET NEXT TO HER ♪

♪ NOW TELL ME HOW IT'S GONNA BE DONE ♪

♪ WILL I WIN OR LOSE THIS ONE ♪

♪ DON'T CARE ABOUT THE FACT ♪

♪ THAT SHE'S IN A DIFFERENT LEAGUE ♪

♪ THEY SAY IT'S NO USE ♪

♪ THAT I TRY ♪

♪ THAT GIRL WILL NEVER BE MINE ♪

♪ LAST NIGHT, I RAN INTO HER BRIEFLY ♪

♪ GUESS WHAT, SHE REALLY WANNA SEE ME ♪

♪ THEY SAID THAT I WAS OUT OF LINE ♪

♪ WHO'S WRONG, WHO'S RIGHT THIS TIME? ♪

♪ CAN'T EXPLAIN ♪

♪ I NEVER THOUGHT THAT I WAS GONNA LOSE MY HEAD ♪

♪ CALL ME INSANE ♪

♪ THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY ♪

♪ HOW CAN I GET NEXT TO HER ♪

♪ THEY SAY IT'S NO USE ♪

♪ THAT I TRY ♪

♪ NO, NO, NO ♪

♪ THEY SAY IT'S NO USE THAT I TRY ♪

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

♪ THAT GIRL WILL NEVER BE ♪

♪ MINE ♪

WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT FOR?

THAT'S FOR USING MY TOWEL THE OTHER DAY.

YEAH? WELL, I ALSO WORE YOUR UNDERWEAR.

[CLANK] YEAH!

OH, I GOT IT! I GOT IT!

I GOT IT! I GOT IT!

I GOT IT...

OH, MY GOSH, DUDE. WHAT IS THIS?

IT'S A HOT DOG. THANKS, MAN.

NO PROBLEM.

SURE IT'S GOOD? SAFE!

SO, KEV, I BET YOU'RE WONDERING WHY WE ASKED YOU OUT TO PLAY BARBECUE BALL THIS FINE, COLD DAY IN CHICAGO.

OH, ALRIGHT 'CAUSE I BROUGHT THE FOOD?

NO!

WELL, YEAH, KIND OF, BUT ALSO BECAUSE I CAME UP WITH THIS REALLY BRILLIANT IDEA.

ACTUALLY, IT'S MORE LIKE A PROPOSITION FOR YOU.

WHY AM I AFRAID TO HEAR THIS? I DON'T KNOW.

ME AND THE GUYS WERE JUST THINKING THAT YOU COULD DO ALL THESE BABES LIKE A BIG HUGE FAVOR AND LET US TAKE THEM OUT.

AND HOW IS THAT POSSIBLY A GOOD IDEA?

FIRST OFF...

UMM, THERE ARE JUST WAY TOO MANY CALLS FOR YOU TO HANDLE SOLO, AND SECONDLY...

ROD? WHAT WAS NUMBER 2?

OH! WE SCREEN THE GIRLS AND WE HELP YOU FIND "THE GIRL."

YES!

YEAH. AND IF, PERCHANCE, YOU KNOW, WE WERE TO MAKE SOME KIND OF CONNECTION WITH ONE OF THESE FINE YOUNG LADIES, WELL... SO MUCH THE BETTER.

YEAH! WE ALL WIN BIG. WIENIE.

CHA-CHING.

THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT.

ROD, YEAH! I TOLD YOU HE'D GO FOR IT.

I WAS ACTUALLY SURPRISED YOU DIDN'T THINK OF IT, TOO.

I GAVE YOU A COUPLE DAYS.

ABSOLUTELY NOT, GUYS.

GAME'S OVER. SEE YOU LATER.

UM...I SAY HE'S COMING AROUND.

THAT WENT PRETTY WELL.

FKR.

GIBBONS!

UH, MR. HIGGINS.

AHH. LISTEN, I'M NOT QUITE--

YOU DON'T GO GINKGO, DO YOU?

GINKO? BILOBA, GIBBONS.

YOU LACK AN ABUNDANCE OF ENERGY.

THERE'S A CERTAIN OVERALL MALAISE ABOUT YOU, GIBBONS.

I JUST THINK THAT A SMOOTHIE WITH A SHOT OF GINKGO IN IT WOULD REMEDY THAT.

WELL...I PREFER COFFEE.

WELL, IT'S YOUR COLON, GIBBONS.

I HATE TO BRING THIS UP, BUT JACKIE TELLS ME YOU'RE NOT PULLING YOUR WEIGHT.

LOOK, THIS PROPOSAL IS DUE IN 3 DAYS AND I CAN'T HAVE YOU HALF-HEARTING IT.

WE'LL HAVE IT DONE, SIR. GOOD!

[TELEPHONE RINGS] EXCUSE ME.

KEVIN GIBBONS. HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

WHAT UP, KID?

YO, LOOK, BROTHER, I AM BEGGING YOU TO RECONSIDER.

NO. I'M GONNA HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK, OK?

COME ON, KEV. HELP US HELP YOU!

MAN, WOULD YOU STOP BEING SO SELFISH FOR A SEC AND THINK ABOUT THE TEAM HERE?

GIBBONS, THIS CAMPAIGN IS VERY IMPORTANT TO US.

YOUR JOB DEPENDS ON IT.

DO WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER? ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS SAY YES!

YES. YES.

DUDE, ARE--ARE YOU SURE THAT'S COOL?

ARE YOU SURE?

POSITIVE.

YES!

GOOD.

[SIGHS]

OOH HOO HOO!

[DIAL TONE]

HELLO? HELLO?

YEAH! WE'RE GONNA GET SOME DATES!

WE'RE GONNA GET...

Announcer: LET'S HAVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR MR. AL GREEN!

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ STARTED TO WRITE THIS SONG ♪

♪ ABOUT YOU ♪

♪ AND THEN I DECIDED ♪

♪ THAT I WOULD WRITE IT ♪

♪ ALL ABOUT LOVE ♪

♪ THEN IT APPEARED TO ME ♪

♪ THAT YOU WASN'T HAPPY ♪

♪ OH, THAT'S FOR SURE ♪

♪ POSITIVELY ♪

♪ THAT'S WHAT THE WORLD IS MADE OF ♪

♪ SO GIVE ME MORE L-O-V-E LOVE ♪

♪ LOVE IS A WALK DOWN MAIN STREET ♪

♪ OH, LOVE ♪

♪ LOVE IS AN APPLE, HONEY, SO SWEET ♪ DUDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SCORED SUCH GREAT SEATS.

DUDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MANY HOTTIES DIG AL GREEN.

♪ IT'S STRANGE TO ME ♪

♪ MAYBE TIME WILL BRING US TOGETHER ♪

♪ AND I CAN BE SUCH A HAPPY FELLA ♪

[NEW SONG] ♪ ...YOU PUT ME THROUGH ♪

♪ YOU STOLE MY MONEY AND MY CIGARETTES ♪

♪ AND I AIN'T SEEN HIDE NOR HAIR OF YOU YET ♪

♪ I WANT TO KNOW ♪

♪ TELL ME ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'D LOVE TO STAY ♪

♪ OH OH OH ♪

♪ TAKE ME TO THE RIVER ♪

♪ WASH ME DOWN ♪

♪ WON'T YOU CLEANSE MY SOUL ♪

♪ WHERE YOU GOING? HA HA ♪ OH. SORRY. WRONG PERSON.

♪ COME ON, SOMEBODY ♪

♪ I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU TREAT ME SO BAD ♪

♪ HOW ABOUT ALL THE THINGS THAT WE COULD HAVE HAD ♪

♪ LOVE IS A NOTION THAT I CAN'T FORGET ♪

♪ MY SWEET SIXTEEN I WILL NEVER FORGET ♪

♪ I WANT TO KNOW, WON'T YOU TELL ME ♪ Abbey: HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME?

♪ ...LOVE. YES, YOU ARE, YES YOU ARE ♪ Paul: HEY, ABBEY, IT'S PAUL.

HEY, WHERE ARE YOU? THE SHOW'S ALREADY STARTED.

Paul: I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO MEET YOU RIGHT NOW, BUT I'M CAUGHT UP IN A MEETING. I CAN'T LEAVE.

NO! I WAS JUST REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS.

Paul: I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY, OK?

I WANT YOU TO ENJOY YOURSELF.

I WANT YOU TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.

HAVE A GREAT MEETING.

Paul: I'VE GOT TO GO. I'LL SEE YOU LATER, YEAH?

OK. OK, BYE.

BYE.

♪ PUT MY FEET ON THE GROUND ♪

♪ GET ME JUST ABOVE YOU ♪

♪ TAKE ME TO THE RIVER ♪

[CHEERING]

Bouncer: CAN I SEE YOUR TICKETS, PLEASE?

OH, TICKETS? YEAH, I GOT TICKETS, MAN.

YOU'RE VERY WONDERFUL.

I WAS READING TODAY IN THE NEWSPAPER ABOUT A YOUNG MAN WHO FOUND SOMEONE ON A TRAIN...

YOU'RE KIDDING ME.

I GOT 'EM. I GOT 'EM. WHAT DO THEY LOOK LIKE?

JUST TELL ME QUICK, UM--

I KNEW THIS WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

Al: ...THAT THEY MAY FIND LOVE AND HAPPINESS WHEREVER IT IS.

I GOT 'EM. OH, MAN!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Eric: HEY, LET GO OF THE THREADS!

HEY, COME ON, DON'T MAKE ME GET ROUGH WITH YOU!

HEY, DON'T MAKE ME CALL MY--

DIDN'T WE GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHER?

[AL GREEN SINGING]


Abbey: HI.

I--I DIDN'T THINK I'D EVER SEE YOU AGAIN.

I'VE BEEN KICKING MYSELF FOR NOT ASKING YOUR NAME.

I WAS HOPING YOU WOULD SAY THAT.

MY NAME IS...

Conductor: ADAM'S STREET.

WHAT?

IT'S... NEXT STOP MADISON.

I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T HEAR IT.

WHAT WAS YOUR NAME?

[TRAIN HONKS]

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

SATURDAY AT 8:00? YOU GOT IT!

Eric: THEY GOT VEGETABLES, THEY GOT EVERYTHING.

YEAH, SURE. WELL, I MEAN, THAT DEPENDS.

I KNOW THIS ABSOLUTELY EXQUISITE TRATTORIA.

I MEAN, WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF FOOD?

I NEED SATURDAY, 6:00 STAT!

I'VE GOT A 5:00 AND A 7:30. I COULD DO IT AT 6:15!

GOOD! GIVE ME AN 8: 00 ON SATURDAY--

GIVE ME SOMETHING GOOD, OKAY? THIS GIRL IS SPECIAL TO ME.

WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?

OH, MAN, WE GOT THIS DOWN.

PHONE, RESERVATION, SCHEDULING.

CHECK IT OUT. IT IS ALL GOOD!

Rod: YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW!

I GOT THE TWINS FOR YOU AT OAK PARK AT 7:30!

IT'S GONNA BE GREAT!

THAT WILL BE PERFECT. I'LL PICK YOU UP AT EIGHT-ISH.

[PHONE RINGS] HELLO?

THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING. DONE! THANK YOU.

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, MAN? YOU GAVE US THE GREEN LIGHT.

WHAT? GREEN LIGHT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I'M TALKIN' ABOUT YOU SAID YES ON THE PHONE THE OTHER DAY, REMEMBER? WHEN?

AW, MAN, WE COULD STAND HERE ALL NIGHT AND PLAY THE "HE SAID, HE SAID" THING--

SHH! SHH! [RECORD SCRATCHES]

YES? OUI, MADAME. VOUS ETES FRANCOISE?

YEAH, YEAH, HE'S GOT A FRENCH GIRL!

OK, THINK OF SOMETHING FRENCH.

Rod: LE POU-POU DE MAMA?

UH...YEAH, SURE.

ERIC! LINE ONE. YO!

PATCH IT THROUGH NOW. GO.

HELLO, THIS IS KEVIN.

HELLO?

Man: HELLO?

HELLO? [BEEP]

THAT SOUNDED LIKE A DUDE.

THAT WAS STRANGE.

Woman: WHAT?

WHY ARE YOU READING THIS?

I DON'T KNOW.

I THOUGHT YOU'D APPRECIATE THAT I'M INTO YOUR ARTICLES.

LOOK AT THIS.

ALL THESE PATHETIC WOMEN WANT TO MEET THIS GUY.

PEOPLE ARE LONELY.

[KISS] ANYWAY, I THINK THE NOTION OF SOMEONE FINDING TRUE LOVE IS--IS BEAUTIFUL!

AND I HOPE SHE CALLS HIM.

WHAT IS YOUR OBSESSION WITH THIS GUY?

[SIGHS]

I'M OBSESSED?

WELL, YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THE WHOLE NOTION OF LOVE IS MERELY A MYTH.

IT WAS INVENTED BY CORPORATIONS TO TURN A PROFIT.

LOVE DOESN'T EXIST.

THAT'S ROMANTIC.

ROMANCE DOESN'T EXIST.

I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU.

WHAT, YOU THINK HE'S ROMANTIC?

THAT LOSER'S JUST PUTTING UP POSTERS TO MEET MORE GIRLS.

YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS! [DOOR SLAMS]

WELL, IF YOU LIKE HIM SO MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU CALL HIM?

SWEETIE?


[CELL PHONE RINGS]

YO, WHO DIS? KEVIN?

UH-HUH. THAT'S MY NAME.

ASK ME AGAIN, I'M GONNA TELL YOU THE SAME.

HI, IT'S ME--THE GIRL FROM THE TRAIN.

HEY, WHAT UP?

SO, YOU KNOW, WHEN WE HOOKIN' UP?

UH, TOMORROW NIGHT I'M FREE.

TOMORROW? SUNDAY?

UM, YEAH, COOL. HOW'S CAFE DE LOVE?

7:30?

YEAH. THAT SOUNDS GOOD.

YEAH. I'LL BE THERE WITH BELLS ON.

[HANGS UP]

[SQUIRT]

[SQUIRT, SQUIRT]

[SQUIRT, SQUIRT]

[GAGS AND COUGHS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[COUGHS]

[SNIFFS]

[SQUIRT, SQUIRT]

[SQUIRT]

OH! [THUD]

WELL, BEING THAT I'M A POP STAR, YOU KNOW, IT'S EASY TO FIND GUYS.

IT'S JUST NOT EASY FINDING THE RIGHT GUYS, SO WHEN I SAW YOUR POSTER, I KNEW YOU'D BE DIFFERENT, YOU KNOW? NOT THE PLAYER TYPE.

HAS ANYBODY EVER TOLD YOU THAT YOU HAVE THE FACE OF A DE KOONING WOMAN?

I'M PIERCED IN 49 DIFFERENT PLACES ON MY BODY.

Eric: ENOUGH OF THIS TALK, ALL RIGHT?

YOU AND ME TAKE A WALK. YEAH.

LIKE TONIGHT, WE'LL HEAD BACK TO YOUR PAD WHERE WE CAN GET GLAD.

[GROANING]

OW!

WUSS.

MOMMY.

AH! YOU STOLE MY POSTER!

HI, KEVIN.

BRANDI, SHE'S SWEET AS CANDY!

YEAH, YOU THE FINEST SISTA.

CAN I KISS YA?

FOOL! THAT'S THE LAST TIME...

SHE'S INTO ME.

HI. I'M JULIE.

HI. I'M...KEVIN.

[SNIFFS]

UH--OH!

OH, YEAH, BABY! OH, COME ON, COME TO PAPA.

COME ON, COME HERE. THAT'S IT.

YEAH, I WON'T BITE. I PROMISE.

THAT'S IT. COME HERE.

CHEERS, BABY. I'M KEVIN.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

ARE YOU SAYING I'M NOT WHO I SAY I AM?

YEAH! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M SAYING!

HEY, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

I KNEW YOU SOUNDED DIFFERENT ON THE PHONE.

HEY, WAIT A SECOND. COME BACK HERE. COME ON.

HEY, IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS PLACE, WE CAN GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.

HEY, COME ON! YOU SHOULD AT LEAST TRY AN APPETIZER!

LOOK, I'M NOT HIM, YOU'RE NOT HER.

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? COME ON!

LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, BUT IF YOU DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE, I'LL CALL THE COPS.

HEY, HONEY, COME HERE.

WHAT PART OF "I'LL CALL THE COPS"

DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

LIKE THE WHOLE THING.

YOU'RE HER.

YOU'RE THE ONE FROM THE TRAIN.

YEAH, YOU ARE FINE!

UM, UH, WASHINGTON, LINCOLN, DONNY REAGAN, MARTIN SHEEN, MR. MIYAGI, BILLY JOEL, UH, I'M A FRIEND OF KEVIN'S.

DOES HE KNOW YOU'RE DOING THIS?

YES. YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE HOW MANY LADIES HAVE CALLED.

WE COULD START A BOOMING BUSINESS!

WAIT A SECOND. THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.

LIKE--AW!

YEAH, OK, FINE.

SO, THEN, I'LL JUST CALL YOU LATER?

[SNORING]

[SLAM]

UHH!

SO?

I DON'T THINK IT WAS HIM.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I THINK HIS FRIENDS ARE ANSWERING THE CALLS AND TAKING THE GIRLS OUT.

YES!

I KNEW IT!

NOW I CAN EXPOSE HIM FOR THE FRAUD HE IS!

HEH HEH! KEVIN GIBBONS.

HIS BUTT IS MINE!

[SIGHS]

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

[CLACK]

WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO YOU?

[GIGGLES]

[SIGHS]

♪ HEY, BABY, HEY, BABY ♪

♪ YEAH, BABY, YEAH, BABY ♪

♪ HEY, BABY, HEY, BABY ♪

♪ YEAH, BABY ♪

♪ YEAH, BABY, YEAH ♪

GOOD MORNING, MARGIE.

♪ BABY, BABY, BABY BABY, BABY, BABY ♪

♪ BABY, BABY, BABY BABY, BABY, BABY ♪

♪ BABY, BABY, BABY ♪ GIBBONS, WE NEED TO HAVE A LITTLE TALK.

MR. HIGGINS, THE PROPOSAL, IT'S COMING ALONG GREAT.

OH, YES, ABOUT THAT. PLEASE.

HOW CAN I PUT THIS DELICATELY?

REEBOK WANTS YOU OFF THE CAMPAIGN.

WHAT? MM-HMM.

YES. APPARENTLY THEY READ THAT LAST ARTICLE ABOUT YOU IN THE PAPER YOU KNOW, ABOUT HOW YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO FIND THE ONE GIRL SO THAT YOU COULD DATE EVERY DESPERATE WOMAN IN THE WINDY CITY, WHICH I THINK WAS MASTERFUL--

MASTERFUL, GIBBONS.

BUT REEBOK, THEY GOT COLD FEET, NO PUN INTENDED.

HOW CAN AN ARTICLE IN A PAPER HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH MY WORK?

AH! WELL, GIBBONS, CLIENTS ARE FUNNY THAT WAY.

THEY SAID THEY DIDN'T WANT SOMEONE ON THEIR TEAM WHO WOULD SAY ONE THING AND DO ANOTHER.

IT'S AN IMAGE THING FOR THEM.

BUT...I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

GIBBONS, I'M SICK ABOUT THIS, BUT MY HANDS ARE TIED. SORRY.

HEY, THERE, KEV.

[GIGGLES]

YOU MIGHT WANT TO START PRACTICING WITH THE MAIL CART.

[GIGGLES]

SO, I TAKE IT, IT WAS A FRUITFUL EVENING?

Eric: OH, YEAH, DUDE.

THOSE LITTLE BIRDIES DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE.

I WAS LIKE, BAM, BAM, BAM-BAM-BAM! HA HA! [BLOWS]

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'? HOW 'BOUT YOU?

WELL, LET'S JUST SAY THAT, UH...

MY ACTION CUP RUNNETH OVER.

HA HA! ACTION CUP! THAT'S A METAPHOR, RIGHT?

YEAH. HA HA! THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

OH!

HEY!

GOOD MORNING. HOW YOU DOING?

WHY SO CRESTFALLEN, YOUNG MAN?

I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

AT THIS TABLE, WE KISS AND WE TELL.

YEAH, AND THEN WE TELL SOME MORE, SO COME ON!

I THINK I INJURED MY DATE.

HA HA! COME ON, DUDE! DON'T BE SO COCKY!

NO, I'M SERIOUS. SHE'S JACKED UP.

WHAT IS SHE, A CAR?

ISN'T THAT A GOOD THING, DUDE?

NO.

SO, WHAT--WHAT'S UP?

YEAH?

ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED.

WE'RE ON A DATE, MET HER AT THE BAR... NICE.

BROUGHT HER TO MY APARTMENT.

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE POINTS TO ME AND SHE SAYS TO ME, "I WANT TO HEAR YOU PLAY ONE OF THE SONGS THAT YOU WROTE."

HA HA HA! YEAH!

SO I THOUGHT THAT WAS FRIGGIN' GREAT, RIGHT?

SO I WAS LIKE, "SURE!" SO THERE I AM.

SO I START JAMMIN'. I'M JAMMIN'.

I'M SINGIN', I'M GOIN', I'M GROOVIN', I'M ROCKIN', I'M ROLLIN'. I'M JUST GOIN' AFTER THE CRAZY.

YOU KNOW THAT SIGNATURE MOVE THAT I DO WHEN I KICK THAT AMP?

OH, YEAH!

THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENED.

YES! YES!

WHAT? WHAT?

[PLAYING MUSIC]

[THWACK]

DUDE, YOU BROKE HER NOSE?

[CRASH]

AND HER ANKLE.

YO, SHE GOT ROCKED!

BUT IT'S NOT FUNNY.

UM, SO, GUYS...

HAVE WE DECIDED WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO UM, YOU KNOW, IF THE REAL GIRL ACTUALLY CALLS?

WELL, IF SHE HASN'T CALLED BY NOW--

AND OBVIOUSLY, IF SHE DOES HAPPEN TO CALL, THE RIGHT THING TO DO IS CLOSE UP SHOP, END OF STORY.

ANYTHING ELSE WOULD BE UNCONSCIONABLE.

I SAW HER LAST NIGHT.

[CHOKES]

WHAT?

SHE WAS MY 7:30.

HAVE YOU TOLD KEVIN ABOUT THIS?

NOT YET. WELL, YOU NEED TO TELL HIM!

WELL, YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOUT OUR OPERATION, MAN?

I MEAN...

ALL RIGHT. FINE.

TODAY! FINE!

DANG IT!

IDIOTIC MACHINE!

I SWEAR I WILL UNPLUG YOU, AND THROW YOU DOWN ALL FLIGHTS OF THESE STAIRS IN THIS BUILDING.

PROBLEMS? NO!

I JUST HAVE OUR BIGGEST CLIENTS WAITING, AND THE MACHINE'S TAKING A COFFEE BREAK.

WHERE'S NATHAN? WHO CARES?

I HAVE 2 MINUTES BEFORE THE REEBOK MEETING, AND IF I DON'T GET THESE COPIES MADE, MY WHOLE PROPOSAL TURNS TO CRUD.

OK. ALL RIGHT. I CAN DO THIS.

HOLD ON.

LET ME TAKE A LOOK.

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, KEVIN.

COME ON, LUCILLE. DON'T DIE ON ME NOW.

LISTEN, DADDY KNOWS YOU'RE TIRED.

BUT DADDY KNOWS YOU GOT A FEW MORE LEFT IN YOU.

YES, YOU DO! YES, YOU DO!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

IS THIS GONNA WORK?

SOMETIMES, BUT IF IT DOESN'T...

[KICK] [MACHINE STARTS]

GIVE HER A LITTLE LOVE TAP.

[KNOCKS TWICE]

[SIRENS AND TRAFFIC]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

HEY!

HELLO? IT'S ME!

HEY!


YOU WHAT? I SAW HER.

WHERE? WHEN? I MEAN, YOU DID?

YEP.

WELL, WHAT HAPPENED?

SHE BLEW ME OFF.

OH, MAN! THAT IS BAD!

YOU KNOW, IT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME, THOUGH.

AFTER ALL THE ARTICLES IN THE PAPER, BUT THE THING I DON'T UNDERSTAND--

WHY DIDN'T SHE CALL IN THE FIRST PLACE?

KEV...

SHE DID CALL.

WHAT?

YEAH. UM...

WE SORT OF WENT OUT ON A DATE.

WAIT A MINUTE.

SHE CALLED, YOU TOOK HER OUT, AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?

WELL, I--NO, I JUST DID.

WHOA, MAN! HEY, IT'S NOT LIKE I TRIED TO KISS HER OR ANYTHING. KEV, COME ON!

LET'S TALK ABOUT THI--

UHH!

OW!

UHH!

OH! UHH! AW!

KEVIN, COME BACK HERE, MAN!

♪ WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ♪

♪ NO, WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT ♪

♪ WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE ♪

GUYS, GUYS, GUYS--

WHAT? TAKE 5.

Man: I THOUGHT IT SOUNDED ALL RIGHT.

Man: I THINK IT SOUNDED PRETTY GOOD.

LISTEN, KEV, WHAT WE DID WAS INCONSIDERATE, SELFISH, STUPID, CLASSLESS. I MEAN--

YOU CAN STOP ME ANYTIME. I MEAN--

KEEP GOIN'.

I GUESS WE JUST ACTED LIKE JACKASSES, MAN.

JUST WANTED TO SAY I'M SORRY.

I APPRECIATE THE APOLOGY, BUT THE DAMAGE IS ALREADY DONE, SO...

DO YOU KNOW WHY I WANTED TO BECOME A MUSICIAN?

HMM. GIRLS, MONEY, FAME.

NO. THE MUSIC, MAN. IT'S THE MUSIC.

I MEAN, WHEN I'M UP THERE ON THAT STAGE, EVERYTHING IS JUST RIGHT AND THE WORLD'S PERFECT...

UNTIL THEY START BOOING ME.

YOU NEVER KNOW WHO MIGHT LISTEN TO YOUR SONG AND ACTUALLY LIKE IT.

I GUESS ME DREAMING AND THINKING ABOUT WRITING MY SONGS, IT'S KIND OF LIKE THAT, THAT GIRL THAT YOU MET ON THE TRAIN, YOU KNOW?

YOU KNOW, YOU WANT SOMETHING SO BAD IT HURTS.

I JUST ADMIRE YOUR PASSION, KEV.

YOU INSPIRED ME TO WRITE THIS, AND, UH...

I FIGURE IF YOU COULD PUT YOURSELF ON THE LINE TO FIND THAT GIRL, I CAN DO THE SAME...

WRITE MY ORIGINAL SONG.

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

COOL.

N'SYNC: ♪ AND I PRAY YOU'RE FALLING TOO ♪

♪ I'VE BEEN FALLING, FALLING ♪

♪ GIRL, I'M FALLING FOR YOU ♪

♪ AND I PRAY YOU'RE FALLING TOO ♪

♪ I'VE BEEN FALLING, FALLING ♪

♪ EVER SINCE THE MOMENT ♪

♪ I LAID EYES ON YOU ♪

♪ CAN'T YOU SEE? ♪

♪ CAN'T YOU SEE ♪

♪ THAT I'M FALLING, FALLING ♪

♪ GIRL, I'M FALLING FOR YOU ♪

♪ AND I PRAY YOU'RE FALLING TOO ♪

♪ YEAH YEAH YEAH ♪

♪ FALLING, FALLING ♪

♪ EVER SINCE THE MOMENT ♪

♪ I LAID EYES ON YOU ♪

♪ OOH ♪

♪ I'M FALLING ♪

[SIGHS] WELL, WE REALLY SCREWED THIS ONE UP, HUH, FELLAS?

WE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WE?

IT WAS YOUR IDEA!

HEY, COME ON! I DIDN'T FORCE YOU TO GO ON ANY OF THOSE DATES, OK?

YEAH, LISTEN. KEVIN SAID THAT IT WASN'T A GOOD IDEA!

[BOTH ARGUE]

GENTLEMEN, PLEASE.

GUYS, COME ON. LISTEN TO US.

THIS IS STUPID. WE'RE BEING PETTY.

WE HAVE TO STEP BACK, AND WE HAVE TO LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICTURE HERE, ALL RIGHT?

WE ALL MESSED KEVIN OVER.

ALL RIGHT. THERE'S A BIT OF TRUTH IN THAT, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? NOW WE GOTTA MAKE THINGS RIGHT, RIGHT?

YEAH. EXACTLY.

GOOD!

HOW ARE WE GONNA DO THAT?

I GOT AN IDEA.

[CRASH]

WHOA!

LOOK. I'M GONNA START RIGHT HERE, AND JUMP, ZIP, LOCK, I'M GONNA RIDE THIS.

NOW, RANDY, I WANT YOU TO START RIGHT AROUND THE LOOP.

[INDISTINCT TALKING]

PEOPLE, WE'RE LOOKING FOR THE REAL "L" TRAIN GIRL.

Randy: YEAH, SHE'S THE ONE. HERE YOU GO.

WANTED--WE'RE LOOKING FOR THE REAL TRAIN GIRL.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS-- ANYBODY SEEN THIS GIRL?

SHE'S REAL CUTE, AND, UH...

YOU SEEN THIS GIRL? TAKE THAT. THANK YOU.

TAKE A--TAKE A FLIER. HERE YOU GO.

HAS ANYBODY SEEN THIS GIRL?

♪ EVERY TIME I LOOK AROUND ♪

♪ BUT EVERYWHERE YOU ARE ♪ A LITTLE SHORT. SHE'S GOT PRETTY HAIR.

BEAUTIFUL EYES. HELLO. HERE YOU GO.

♪ BEAUTIFUL HAIR, PRETTY EYES ♪ DO YOU KNOW HER? HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL?

I'M TRYING TO FIND HER.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL?

HAS ANYBODY SEEN THIS GIRL?

HAS ANYBODY SEEN THIS WOMAN?

HELLO, WE NEED SOME HELP HERE.

THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT.

WE'RE LOOKING FOR THIS GIRL, OK?

HEY! HEY, WE NEED YOUR HELP, PEOPLE!

HEY, HAS ANY ONE OF YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? HUH?

HAS ANYONE EVER, EVER MET SOMEONE THEY THOUGHT WAS THEIR DESTINY?

WELL, MY FRIEND KEVIN GIBBONS DID.

I WASN'T THERE FOR HIM THEN, BUT I AM HERE NOW.

ME AND MY FRIENDS, YOU KNOW, WE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF KEVIN AND, AND HIS SITUATION.

HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT. YEAH.

WE WENT BEHIND HIS BACK. WE MESSED HIM OVER.

SO COME ON, PEOPLE, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS FLIER, PLEASE.

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS.

LOVE MAY NOT MAKE THE WORLD GO 'ROUND...

BUT IT'S WHAT MAKES THE RIDE WORTHWHILE.

♪ BUT ANYWHERE YOU ARE ♪

♪ I'LL BE UNDER YOU ♪

♪ EVERY TIME I LOOK AROUND ♪

♪ I NEED YOU NOW ♪

♪ EVERY TIME I LOOK AROUND ♪

♪ I NEED YOU NOW ♪

♪ EVERY TIME I LOOK AROUND ♪

♪ BUT ANYWHERE YOU ARE ♪

♪ I'LL BE UNDER YOU ♪

HEY, MARGIE, HAVE YOU SEEN NATHAN?

DIDN'T YOU HEAR?

HE HAD A HEART ATTACK LAST NIGHT, RIGHT AFTER THE CUBBIES LOST.

HI, UM, I'M LOOKING FOR A PATIENT.

HIS NAME IS-- [CRASH]

Nathan: IF YOU THINK THIS FOOD TASTES SO GOOD, THEN YOU EAT IT!

UH, NEVER MIND.

SO, ERIC YOUNG DOUBLES FOR AN RBI IN THE TOP OF THE NINTH.

BOTTOM OF THE NINTH, WOOD "K" IS THE SIDE.

SET 'EM UP, SIT 'EM DOWN.

YOU KNOW, THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME MY CUBBIES HAVE PUT ME THROUGH THIS.

ULCER DURING THE '69 PLAYOFFS.

HYPERTENSION WHEN THEY LOST IN '84.

AND YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE WAY MY HEMORRHOIDS FLARED UP WHEN THEY WENT DOWN IN '89.

BUT THAT TEAM ALSO GIVES ME A REASON TO LIVE.

SO, DID IT EVER WORK OUT BETWEEN YOU AND THAT NICE GIRL FROM THE TRAIN?

I WANTED IT TO, BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

AUGUST 29, 1989. MY BELOVED CUBS WERE DOWN BY 9 RUNS TO THE ASTROS IN THE SIXTH, BUT DID THEY GIVE UP? NO, SIR.

THEY FOUGHT TOOTH AND NAIL, AND THEY WON IN EXTRA INNINGS.

I'LL NEVER GIVE UP ON MY CUBBIES.

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T GIVE UP ON THAT GIRL, EITHER.

SO...

YOU GONNA TELL ME WHAT THAT'S ALL ABOUT?

ERNIE BANKS'S DINGER.

CAUGHT IT THE DAY I MET MY WIFE.

I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.

THANKS, NATHAN.

NOW, YOU'RE NOT GONNA KISS ME, ARE YA?

HEH!

GO AHEAD. GO FIND THAT GIRL.

Jackie: REEBOK SIGNED OFF ON THE ACCOUNT.

THAT'S GREAT.

AND I FINALLY GOT PROMOTED TO SENIOR EXEC.

CONGRATULATIONS.

LOOK, KEVIN, I KNOW I'M A HARD CASE, BUT YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT WHEN YOU DESIGN THE ACCOUNT.

I'M BACK ON THE ACCOUNT?

REEBOK NEEDS YOUR TALENT AND PASSION, ESPECIALLY AFTER I TOLD THEM THAT IT WAS YOUR IDEA.

I KNEW THERE WAS A SOFT SIDE IN THERE SOMEWHERE.

MAYBE, BUT THIS IS STRICTLY A BUSINESS DECISION.

SURE. I UNDERSTAND.

THAT'S A FINAL COPY OF THE AD.

YOU MAY WANT TO TAKE A LOOK AT IT BEFORE IT GOES UP.

IT'S GONNA BE BILLBOARDS ALL OVER THE CITY.

OH, I HOPE THAT YOU FIND THAT GIRL YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR.

Kevin: JACKIE...

THANKS.

YEAH.

♪ YOU AND I GO WAY UP HIGH ♪

♪ IN THE DARK TELL ME WHERE THE LIGHT'S ♪

♪ GONNA COME FROM NOW ♪

♪ IS IT YOU? WAS IT ME? ♪

♪ FALLEN, OUT OF HOPE ♪

♪ A TIGHT ROPE ♪

♪ AFTER ALL, BABY, YOU SHOULD KNOW ♪

♪ NOT TO BEAT THE GROUND ♪

♪ ALL THAT TALK'S BUT A FOG ♪

♪ FALLING ♪

♪ LOVE IS A HIGH-WIRE ACT ♪

♪ WE'VE GOT TO GET ♪

♪ OUR BALANCE BACK ♪ Radio announcer: THIS IS WBFP, PLAYING ALL THE BIGGEST HITS.

GOOD MORNING, CHICAGO.

HEY, FOR ALL YOU HELPLESS ROMANTICS OUT THERE, THERE'S A NEW TWIST ON THAT TRAIN STORY WE'VE ALL BEEN READING ABOUT.

TURNS OUT...

♪ WE'VE ALREADY LOST OUR WAY ♪

♪ THE MEMORY OF YESTERDAY ♪

♪ WE'RE STILL STRONG ENOUGH TO LIGHT THE WAY ♪

♪ DON'T LOOK DOWN ♪

♪ WE CAN REBOUND ♪

♪ WHATEVER MAY LIE AHEAD ♪

♪ KEEP YOUR EYES ON ME NOW ♪

♪ STILL STRONG ENOUGH TO LIGHT THE WAY ♪

♪ DON'T LOOK DOWN ♪

♪ WE CAN REBOUND ♪ HEY, GUYS. HEY.

HOW YOU FEELING? GOOD? YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I FEEL GOOD.

AND YOU LOOK GOOD.

LISTEN, DO YOU WANT A LITTLE PIECE OF ADVICE?

THIS TIME, WHEN SHE SHOWS, DO US ALL A FAVOR AND GET HER NAME AND NUMBER.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL REMEMBER THAT.

YOU BETTER HURRY UP, YOU KNOW.

IT'S ALMOST TIME.

YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS?

I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO THIS ONE ON MY OWN.

WHOA! ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT THE TEAM THERE FOR MORAL SUPPORT?

NO, THANKS.

WELL... I BETTER GO.

ALL RIGHT.

WAIT, WAIT. OPEN.

[SPRITZING]

NEVER KNOW, MAN.

[PATS BACK]

ALL RIGHT, GUYS. DO ANOTHER SET?

YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA...

LET 'EM GO AND HOPE YOU RAISED 'EM WELL.

YEAH.

Woman reporter: IT'S THE MOST ROMANTIC STORY TO HIT CHICAGO IN YEARS.

A YOUNG MAN PUTTING UP POSTERS AND BILLBOARDS ALL OVER TOWN IN AN EFFORT TO FIND THE GIRL OF HIS DREAMS.

IN FACT, CAN YOU TURN THE CAMERA?

THERE'S ONE RIGHT THERE BEHIND MY SHOULDER.

Male reporter: WE'RE HERE AT THE "L" TRAIN PLATFORM AT WABASH AND ADAMS.

THERE'S JUST ABOUT 15 MINUTES TO GO AND THEN KEVIN GIBBONS...

[ALL CHATTERING]

[CAMERAS CLICKING]

Man: SOME MAY CALL HIM CRAZY, OTHERS, A HOPELESS ROMANTIC...

Woman: ...WAITING TO SEE THE OUTCOME.

AND THE BIG QUESTION ON EVERYBODY'S MIND IS...

WILL SHE OR WILL SHE NOT SHOW?

[CROWD SHOUTING ENCOURAGEMENT]

[DOOR OPENS]

[JINGLING]

Rod: IT'S THE MICK!

MICK SILVER! HEY, THE MICK!

OH, MY GOSH! THE MICK! IT'S REALLY YOU!

I MEAN, GOSH, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! DUDE, I SEEN YOU ON TV.

I MEAN, YOU ARE A LEGEND! YOU ARE GREAT!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

THE MICK RECEIVED THIS DEMO TAPE IN THE MAIL.

FROM WHO?

FROM A MAN WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS.

KEVIN.

HEY, THE MICK DIGS YOUR SOUNDS, MAN.

REALLY?! HEY, THE MICK DON'T LIE.

NO, MAN, YOU NEVER LIE. YOU ALWAYS SAY THE TRUTH.

AND WHEN IT IS THE TRUTH, IT IS THE TRUTH!

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO RECORD YOUR NEW STUFF ON THE MICK'S NEW LABEL?

WOULD I? MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

WHOA! EASY, EASY!

YOU'RE ALL ABOUT THE PASSION, MAN!

OH, MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE MICK--

HI, JULIE. HI, ROD.

HOW'S THE ANKLE? OH, IT'S BUSTED.

OH, SORRY. UM, HAVE YOU MET THE MICK?

MICK, JULIE. JULIE, MICK. JULIE, MICK.

YEAH. WELL, MICK'S ALL RIGHT, BUT I'M MORE INTO YOU, ROD.

REALLY? UM...

HOW'D YOU LIKE TO HEAR MY NEW SONG?

YEAH. I'D LOVE TO. GREAT. OK.

ALL RIGHT, THIS IS...

[SIGHS] A SONG I WROTE...

FOR A VERY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE.

[MUSIC STARTS]

♪ I GET A FEELING ♪

♪ I CAN'T EXPLAIN ♪

♪ WHENEVER YOUR EYES MEET MINE ♪

♪ MY HEART SPINS IN CIRCLES ♪

♪ AND I LOSE ALL SPACE AND TIME ♪

♪ AND NOW THAT WE'RE STANDING FACE-TO-FACE ♪

♪ SOMETHING TELLS ME ♪

♪ IT'S GONNA BE OK ♪

♪ AND I'M READY TO FALL IN LOVE TONIGHT ♪

♪ I'M READY TO HOLD MY HEART OPEN WIDE ♪

♪ I CAN'T PROMISE FOREVER ♪

♪ BUT, BABY, I'LL TRY ♪

♪ I'M READY TO FALL ♪

♪ IN LOVE TONIGHT ♪

♪ I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING ♪

♪ CHOOSING YOUR MOMENT ♪

♪ BUT I'VE BEEN DREAMING OF THAT DAY ♪

♪ NO ONE BEFORE YOU ♪

♪ HAS GOTTEN TO ME THIS WAY ♪

♪ AND NOW THAT ♪

♪ WE'RE STANDING FACE-TO-FACE ♪

♪ THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO SAY ♪

♪ THAT I'M READY TO FALL IN LOVE TONIGHT ♪

♪ I'M READY TO HOLD MY HEART OPEN WIDE ♪

♪ I CAN'T PROMISE FOREVER ♪

♪ BUT, BABY, I'LL TRY ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M READY TO FALL... ♪ Reporter: WELL, HERE WE ARE JUST AFTER 7 P.M., AND THERE IS STILL NO SIGN OF THE YOUNG LADY FROM THE "L" TRAIN.

♪ NOTHING IS CERTAIN ♪

♪ THIS I KNOW ♪

♪ WHEREVER WE'RE HEADED ♪

♪ I'M READY TO GO ♪

♪ OHHH ♪

[CROWD CHEERING]

♪ I CAN'T PROMISE FOREVER ♪

♪ BUT, BABY, I'LL TRY ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M READY TO FALL ♪

♪ IN LOVE TONIGHT ♪

♪ YES, I'M READY TO FALL ♪

♪ IN LOVE TONIGHT ♪

2 QUESTIONS--

WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

AND CAN I PLEASE HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

ABBEY, AND I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK.

♪ IN LOVE TONIGHT ♪

♪ IN LOVE TONIGHT ♪

[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]

[CHEERING]

♪ 'CAUSE I'M READY TO FALL ♪

♪ IN LOVE TONIGHT ♪

♪ IN LOVE TONIGHT ♪

AHH, HE'S STILL A SHMOE.

Al Green: ♪ I ♪

♪ UH ♪

♪ I'M SO IN LOVE WITH YOU ♪

♪ WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO ♪

♪ IS ALL RIGHT WITH ME ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU MAKE ME FEEL ♪

♪ SO BRAND-NEW ♪

♪ I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH-- ♪

[RECORD SCRATCHES]

Man: WE'RE HERE WITH AN EXCLUSIVE LOOK BEHIND THE SCENES OF THE MOVIE ON THE LINE.

CHECK. N'SYNC?

YEAH. MORE LIKE N'STINK.

YOU CAN'T SAY THAT.

I DID. I DON'T CARE.

IS THE CAMERA ON?

THE TWO OF US RIGHT HERE, WE ARE VERY, VERY PROFESSIONAL ABOUT EVERYTHING WE DO.

UNLIKE SOME POOP STARS.

I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, JOEY'S ONE THING, BUT LANCE...

I LOVED YOU FROM THE MINUTE I SAW YOU ON THE "L"?

THAT WAS VERY CONVINCING.

I LOVED YOU FROM THE MOMENT I SAW YOU ON THE "L"?

WHERE'S THE WRITER? WHERE'S THE WRITER?

ANGELO, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU I NEED HEIGHT? I WANT TO SEE THIS FROM CHINA!

CHINA--OK. GIMME THAT.

I JUST-- DID I SAY YOU COULD SPEAK?

OW! OH OH OH!

ARE YOU GUYS FOR REAL?

YEAH. YEAH.

ANGELO. WHAT'S UP?

YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!

YOU LOOK LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS!

I MEAN, IT'S YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE.

JOEY, I HAVE 2 WORDS FOR YOU.

YOU ARE THIS GENERATION'S MARLON BRANDO.

AND, LANCE, I HAVE 3 WORDS FOR YOU.

DE-KNEE-ROW. KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

JUST PROMISE ME I CAN DO YOUR HAIR FOR THE ACADEMY OF AWARDS, PLEASE?

AND I'LL DO MAKEUP.

YOU TWO ARE THE BEST. I'LL NEVER FORGET THIS.

REALLY? MEANS A LOT. THANKS.

♪ WITH YOU ♪

♪ LET ME SAY THAT SINCE, OH ♪

♪ SINCE WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER ♪

♪ LOVIN' YOU FOREVER ♪

♪ IS WHAT I NEED ♪

♪ OH, LET ME BE THE ONE ♪

♪ YOU COME RUNNING TO ♪

♪ I'LL NEVER BE ♪

♪ UNTRUE ♪

♪ EVERYBODY SING ♪

♪ LET'S ♪

♪ LET'S STAY TOGETHER ♪

♪ LOVING YOU WHETHER ♪

♪ WHETHER ♪

♪ TIMES ARE GOOD OR BAD, HAPPY OR SAD ♪

♪ THAT'S RIGHT, YOU HEARD THE MAN ♪

♪ NOW COME ON, LET'S STAY TOGETHER ♪

♪ YOU AND ME COULD BE TIGHT FOREVER AND EVER ♪

♪ WHETHER DAY OR NIGHT AND WHATEVER THE WEATHER ♪

♪ LET'S LIVE ONE LIFE, GIRL, NEVER SHOULD WE SEVER ♪

♪ YOU HOLD THE POWER TO GIVE HIM WHAT HE NEED ♪

♪ IT'S LIKE EVERY SINGLE FLOWER BEGINS WITH A SEED ♪

♪ JUST GIVE HIM WHAT YOU GOT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? ♪

♪ AND IF NOT, I'LL LEAVE IT UP TO AL GREEN ♪

♪ LET ME BE THE ONE ♪

♪ YOU COME RUNNING TO ♪

♪ I PROMISE I'LL NEVER BE ♪

♪ UNTRUE ♪

♪ EVERYBODY SING ♪

♪ LET'S ♪

♪ LET'S STAY TOGETHER ♪

♪ LOVING YOU WHETHER ♪

♪ WHETHER TIMES ARE GOOD OR BAD, HAPPY OR SAD ♪

♪ SING LET'S ♪

♪ WHOO ♪

♪ LET'S STAY TOGETHER ♪

♪ I CAN'T STAND IT, NO ♪

♪ LOVING YOU WHETHER ♪

♪ WHETHER ♪

♪ TIMES ARE GOOD OR BAD, HAPPY OR SAD ♪

♪ LET ME HEAR YOU ♪

♪ LET'S ♪

♪ LET'S STAY TOGETHER ♪

♪ OH, I LOVE YOU, BABY ♪

♪ LOVING YOU WHETHER ♪

♪ WHETHER, AAH ♪

♪ TIMES ARE GOOD OR BAD ♪

♪ HAPPY OR SAD ♪

♪ I WANT YOU TO SING WITH ME ♪

♪ I WANT TO TELL EVERYBODY ♪

♪ ALL I WANT TO DO ♪

♪ SOMEBODY HELP ME NOW ♪

♪ SOMEBODY HELP ME NOW ♪

♪ SOMEBODY HELP ME NOW ♪

♪ GOOD OR BAD ♪

♪ HAPPY OR SAD ♪

♪ COMING DOWN ♪

♪ WHOOO ♪ HA HA HA!

[CHEERING AND CLAPPING]

Al Green: HA HA HA!