Panchayat S1E4 Script

Hamara Neta Kaisa Ho? (2020)

Hello! Yes, mother.

Yes, of course. It's already 11 o'clock. I won't stay hungry till 11 o'clock.

The same old.

The same old bread jam, banana.

Yes, I drank milk.


Why would I lie to you?

How do you know that I don't buy milk every day?

Of course, I do.

But I already drank milk. How can I send a picture to you now?

Yes, I did mother. I am very busy now.

I'll send you the picture tomorrow.

You can lie without blinking, sir.

You'll learn too when you stay away from home. Let's go.

Don't be so mean, sir. I just recently got married.

What is this?

[Indistinct chatter]

Here you go.

Do you have the keys?

Yes, sir. What, sir?

Tell me Mr. Abhishek, did you get the job done or not?

No, sir. I will get it done today.

You've been giving excuses for a week now.

The DM keeps calling me every week asking me for an update.

What do I tell her?

Look Mr. Abhishek, if you don't get the job done today..

..then we'll have to take disciplinary action against you today.

Know this. - Not to worry, sir. I'll get the job done today.

The painter has already arrived on site. In fact, I am on my way..

Let's go.

Let's take the motorcycle.

It's nearby. Let's go.

Mr. Secretary, do these slogans make any difference.

People have as many kids they want.

Isn't that right? Sir!

Well, we've put up the slogan now.

You see, Prahlad sir, it's a government order.

Whether it makes a difference or not, we'll have to get it written.

And these things do create some awareness among people.

Like you are, aren't you?

This is for newly married couples, understand.

I've been quite aware since day one.

Let's move ahead. This looks fine.

We'll have to move one. Aware you say.

I'll show you how aware you are!

Come. Look here..

This is the place.. You can get things here.

No harm in taking a shower at times, Madhav.


Pradhan sir, I was thinking of buying milk.

Who do you think should I ask?

Why don't you ask Pradhan, sir? He's got many cows and buffaloes.

Fine. Do you want cow's milk or buffalo's?

Anything is okay.

You should buy buffalo's milk.

Buffalo's milk is denser.

He's from the city.

Might not be able to digest dense milk.

He can always add water to it. That will do the trick.

Fine then, I'll take buffalo's milk then.

I've three types of buffaloes.

Murrah, Surthi, and Jaffrabadi.

Which buffalo? Surthi will be fine.

I used to buy Surthi buffalo's milk from you. That milk was good.

Jaffrabadi is even better.

Be quiet.

He's going to drink the milk, not you.

You know what.. Yes, hello.

My advice is you take Murrah.

Fine, then Murrah it is. Okay, fine.

So, how much?

Half a litre is enough.

Damn it! Who buys half a litre of milk?

You must buy at least 2 litres of milk.

Go to the gym, exercise, otherwise you will never gain any weight.

No thank you, but half a litre will be enough for me. How much for a month?

Why would I charge you for half a litre milk?

But that's not right..

No, I've said it. I'll not take it.

Pradhan sir.. - The Pradhan is a rich man, Secretary sir.

Yes, you.. - He's got property, cows, what else would he want.

Yes, your father left it for me, didn't he?


This is the one.

What is this?

Where is the painter?

I am here, sir.

I was taking a leak.

What have you written?

"Two children are as sweet as pudding.."

"..more than that can be painful like piles."

I didn't write it on my own.

I wrote exactly what Secretary sir asked me to write.

This is what the BDO office instructed us to write.

Pradhan sir..

..don't you think this going a little overboard in the name of awareness.

What overboard? Looks fine to me.

Maybe a little over the top, but it's fine.

Yes, Prahlad, It's fine. And anyway, who reads all this in the village.

Okay, if you two think it's fine, then it's fine.

I was just making a point.

So Mr. Secretary, shall I send Banwari then.

He'll delivery half a litre of milk every day at 7 am.

Fine. You guys go on, I'll get this done.

Murrah buffalo's milk, right?

And also how much it will cost me every month.

You're still stuck on the money.

I promised you, didn't I? Forget about it.

Come on. I'll go to the office.

You said this will take only one hour. - Yes, sir.

Finish it quickly. Fill up on this side.

Doesn't look nice if I charge him for half a litre of milk.

Of course, because you're so rich..

..that 750 rupees a month doesn't make any difference to you.

In case you've stashed a couple of million rupees somewhere.. let me know as well.

What nonsense are you talking?

Our daughter is old enough to get married..

Hand me that.

But he doesn't get time from boasting his wealth.


Giving half a litre of milk every day will cancel our daughter's wedding.

It's not about Rinky's wedding.

You have this bad habit.

Sometimes you give vegetables for free, and sometimes milk.

Why don't you give him the entire buffalo?

Why are you shouting?

I'll tell the Secretary to pay.


What happy?

You're not doing me any favour.

Fine, then I won't ask.

I said I will ask him for money.

But I can't ask him right away.

I'll have to think of some way.. Like how, where.. when?

I just can't walk up to him and demand the Secretary money.

I gave him my word.

Then tell him that you're a leader.

Your promises are fake. Tell him.

I am not that kind of a leader.

Then what kind are you?

This one.

Give me those dirty ones.

Come down to the office in a couple of days and collect your money.

Okay sir.

What have you written, Secretary sir?


These are official slogans.

What is this?

I didn't write it on my own.

I wrote exactly what Secretary sir asked me to write.

What do you mean to say?

More than two children are like piles.

Pintu here is like piles.

"Pintu is like piles."

"Pintu is like piles." Quiet.

Father, what does piles mean?

Nothing, son. It means chocolate candy.

Secretary sir, please get rid of these slogans.

Get rid of it.

I can't. These are official orders.

Fine. Now watch..

Vinod, people..

See what the Pradhan is trying to do.

What's wrong, Bhushan?

You have four children, don't you? Yes, I do.

According to them your third and four children are piles. - What?

I am not saying this, they are. Bhushan, don't make things worse.

This is just a whiff of things to come.

Go and tell Pradhan sir..

..that he won't get a single vote from my family in the next elections.

We have a big family. And everyone has 3-4 children.

Even I won't vote for them.

Father, even I won't vote for them.

Absolutely right, son. Don't vote for anyone.

Just wait till you turn 18.

I guess things are going to get worse, Secretary sir.

Will I get my money?

Just clean up and leave.

Vikas! Yes.

Get the slogans repainted.


Pradhan sir, we've official orders to get the slogans written.

Even I am under a lot of pressure.

But, sir..

You see Mr. Secretary, a lot of families in this village..

..have more than two children.

What if they all go against, Pradhan sir?

What do I do, Prahlad sir?

If I don't follow the order, then I'll face disciplinary action.

What action?

I can lose my job, Pradhan sir.

You will lose your job..

..but I might lose my seat as the chief.

So what is more important?

Your job or my seat?

Sir, for him his job must be more important.


Yes Gajinder, tell me.

What are you saying?


We're not calling your son piles.

This is different.

Why.. Why don't you understand?

No, no, it's not what you think. No..


Gajinder has three brothers.

Meaning four votes.

And their wives. Meaning eight votes from that family.

And Gajinder's father.

If he lives till the next election's, that means one more.

You lost nine votes.

Mr. Secretary, please talk to the BDO sir. Try to explain to him the situation.

Fine, I'll try.

Oh, God. Prahlad, get all the slogans repainted.

Or else these people won't stop calling.

Pradhan sir, let it stay for the time being.

Why do you worry?

BDO sir will understand, won't he?

What do you think?

BDO sir won't understand?

Who are you giving this for free?

You're too much. Out of the way.


Did you talk to the Secretary about the money for the milk?

I will..

You're making my life hell for 750 rupees.

Come on, out of my way. No.

Why don't you donate everything we have instead. Give away everything.

Trying to be over considerate.

Abhishek sir, you please give this to BDO sir.

I am very nervous.

Whenever I try to talk to Pradhan sir, he hands me this bottle gourd.

Bottle gourds are not conversation starters.

What is this?

It's a bottle gourd.

Even I can see its not an eggplant.

Do you guys really feel you can get your job done by giving me vegetables?

You think I am corrupt.

Pradhan sir isn't letting me write it. What should I do?

Fine then, why should I take the blame on me?

If DM madam asks..

..I'll tell her Phulera Panchayat's secretary isn't fit to do the job.

Sir if you think I am unable to explain them..

..then why don't you try explaining him.

Why should I explain to him?

He's your chief. You explain to him.

He's not my relative. He isn't my brother-in-law either.


Sir! The villagers have objection with the world "Piles".

So can we use something different..

How can you even say such a thing?

How can we change it?

We intentionally out that word there, so people feel offended.

You guys just don't get it.

Mr. Tiwari. Yes, sir.


DM madam is worried about the growing population of our country.

So she believes..

"Two children are as sweet as pudding.."

"..more than that can be painful like piles."

This slogan will touch people's heart.

So go and explain Pradhan sir.

And rewrite the slogans again.

Otherwise, DM madam will screw my ass, along with the rest of you.

And what if Pradhan doesn't agree.

Then she will screw his ass too.

He's no different, is he?

I don't know.


Leave it.

Pradhan sir let's rewrite that slogan..

..otherwise the DM will screw both our..

DM madam will take disciplinary action on us.

Pradhan sir say something.

Go and study.

Then rewrite it. What's the big deal?

You will lose the next election.

So what if we do?

These people who are making a big deal out of a slogan..

..tell them to go and ask their wives..

..what it takes to give birth to more than two children and raise them.

Fine, I agree that "Piles" is not a nice word.

But the slogan is right.

Don't try to be a wise guy, I know.

Then why aren't you letting the write the slogan?

Do the right thing.

A person never wins the elections by just doing the right thing.

You know nothing about politics.

Why don't you say..

..that you don't have the guts to take the difficult decision?

Come, lie down.

Don't talk nonsense.

You know nothing, and just blabbering.

You won't ask money from the secretary for the milk.. he doesn't feel offended.

And even though the slogan's right, you won't get it written.. the villagers don't get offended.

If you're so scared, then do one thing..

Look at me.

Write my name under the slogan. I said it.

And I will talk to the Secretary for the milk money.

Can't even speak up for the right thing..

..and you want to be a leader.

Disciplinary action might mean suspension I guess.

How long would it be for?

How would I know for how long?

I'll find out when I get suspended.

Why don't you check the Panchayat's HR policy? It might have...

Wait a minute.

Hello... Abhishek Yes, sir.

Mr. Secretary, do one thing.

Call a meeting of all the ward members tomorrow morning.

Look, all of you go and tell the people in your ward..

..that we're all supporting the slogan

"Two children are as sweet as pudding.."

"..more than that can be painful like piles."

And we're supporting this slogan because it's absolutely right.

Pradhan sir.

Are you taking this decision because of the pressure from DM madam?

No, this is my personal decision.

But sir, this can cause trouble in the upcoming elections.

I don't care.

Not just for you, but for us too.

Yes, this can be troublesome for us as well.

Look, if anyone asks then you can say that this is my decision..

..and you have nothing to do with it.

That's fine.

That's fine, Pradhan sir.

As you say.

Listen, you can say this is our decision.

The Chief and deputy chief.

Why are you poking your nose?

Not at all, Pradhan sir. This is all about politics.

What if you lose and I win?

Then that won't be fun at all. You're a rascal.

Sir, I am with you too.

I wasn't chosen by the elections.

But I am supporting Pradhan sir too.


The rest of you have no pressure for this responsibility.

Okay sir, as you say.

Okay, let's go then.

Wait. Sit, sit.

Secretary sir, that thing you explained to me yesterday..

On the cigarette box.

Yes, right. Explain that as well.

Sit down. No need to stand up. You're always so eager to stand up.

Now listen.

If anyone objects while you're explaining them and they don't understand..

..then you can definitely give them this example.

Just like the warning message on cigarette packets..

..similarly, these slogans are made this way to make you feel bad.

So that the right message is conveyed to the people.

Did you all understand?

Explain it exactly the way Secretary sir explained to all of you.

We've understood. Okay?

Word by word, exactly the way he said it.

Okay. Yes' we've understood.

And Vikas, get the slogans rewritten again.


Okay then, let's go.

Yes.. do it.

[Indistinct chatter]

Secretary sir, you must be really happy.

You got what you wanted.

That's not true. Pradhan sir's decision is absolutely right.

Forget it. Doesn't matter now.

Doing the right thing has put our position at stake.

Isn't that right?

BDO sir is calling. Put it on speaker.

Put it on speaker.

Yes, sir. Pradhan sir has agreed.


Its great news that Pradhan sir has agreed.

By the way Mr. Abhishek, that slogan isn't mandatory right now.

Why? What happened?

Nothing special.

We just heard that some guy from the neighbouring village who had six kids.. that slogan and got so furious that he burnt the Panchayat office down.

So you guys see what's best to be done.


What do we do, Pradhan sir? Shall we stop them?

Of course, we should stop them.

Pradhan sir, what if they burn this office down too.

I sleep here all alone.

Call them. Call Vikas.

You just said we took the right decision.

If the decision is right, then why are you scared?

Pradhan sir, you're over motivated. Think practically.

No one will lay a finger on the office.

Whatever they want to do, they can do it to me in the next elections.


And you'll have to pay 750 rupees every month for the milk.


750 rupees.

It's a Murrah buffalo. It needs to be fed.

Strangely, I am feeling like Sardar Patel from inside.

Do you know Sardar Patel?

The Iron Man of India.

He never hesitated to take the most difficult decisions for India.

I want to be like him someday.