Playtime (1967) Script

Be careful, and button up your coat or you'll catch cold.

Like this. All right, all right.

Look, there's somebody important over there.

Don't forget what I told you, dear.

In any case, you have your vitamins.

Look, an officer. Yeah, I see.

Are you all right?

He's so cute.

Did you wind your watch? What time is it?

You have an appointment, don't you?

You've got your cigarettes, and I packed your pajamas on the bottom.

Anything to declare?

Open your purse.

This is ridiculous. I can't believe it.

Just a few words for our paper.

Mr. President.

I have no comment at the moment.

This way. Follow me.

From here to here, the Royal Hotel.

From here to here, the Modern.

Royal Hotel, follow me.

Mr. Hulot!

No, that's not allowed. This way, please.

Got a match?

Go around.

Thank you, chief.

Good day, gentlemen.

Now then.

Kindly be seated, sir. I'll just be a minute.

Let's see now.

Give me 440.

I repeat.

Two. One?

No, not one. Two.

Yes. That's good.

That's all fine.

All these electrical thingamajigs!

You gotta be careful with all these buttons.

All right. I've announced you.

Wait here, if you don't mind, while I...


Here you are.

No, in there.

This way, please. Go ahead.

What about that gentleman who's been waiting?

Come, sir. Mr. Giffard just went by.

Go on.

That way.

Excuse me, sir. I'm very busy.

Mr. Giffard, Düsseldorf is on the line.

Accounting department for Mr. Lacs, please.

One moment.

Mr. Hiller is wanted on the telephone at station 24.

And at the end of the day, the market has still held out...

While our international expo is in progress, don't forget to visit all our booths.

Mr. Chevot, please come to Entrance B for a tour of our exposition.

You don't have a name tag.

You don't belong here.

Go ahead, gentlemen.

You're not taking a picture. Look how I'm dressed.

This is our new electric broom, equipped with two headlights.

It's a broom.

That connects the two headlights.

This turns it off.

Notice the advantages of the adjustable head.

Watch this. Here we go.

I'll be right with you.

I'd like some information on your new door.

Just give me one minute.

Our motto: "Slam Your Doors in Golden Silence."

Please sit down.

Yes, this is the latest model.

After you, sir. So your doors are totally silent.

Absolutely. Let me explain.

This door's made of a completely insulated material.

Very interesting.

But can I really close this door without any sound?

I'll demonstrate. The thickness guarantees total silence.

That's why our motto is "Slam Your Doors in Golden Silence."

Is this one soundproof?

Yes. It looks like wood, but it isn't real.

Try it. Even with an umbrella?

Not the slightest sound.

Here's our catalog of models and prices.

At your service, sir.

I'm very pleased with your organization.

Good morning, Director. I had a little problem.

A man came by with a pipe and a long scarf.

He sat at the desk and went through all the papers like this, you see?

As if it were the most natural thing on earth!

This way, please.

That's him!

I see him everywhere.

Look for our colleague.

Allow me to help you.

Make yourself at home.

Sit down.

Do you smoke?

Would you like another look at my papers?

Don't be shy! Go ahead!

I'm the CEO of this organization.

We were the first to study silence.

That's progress!

Ah, a salesman!

Excuse me, sir, but my lamp is broken.

I'd be so grateful if you could take a look.

We'll wait around the corner.

Sir, come this way.

Tell me, sir, is this your pipe?

This isn't him.

Sir, I'm so sorry.

Let me tell you something.

I asked my cousin to join me.

Is it working now?

I'm so happy. Thank you so much.

Do I owe you anything?

You're very kind. Thank you.

Excuse me, sir. The New Moon booth.

Can I help you, ma'am? The New Moon booth.

This way, ma'am.

My dear sir, you forgot your coat.

Allow me to help you.

Let me count.

Sir, someone's calling you.

Hey, Hulot!

The army!


We're done with the Eiffel Tower.

I'm confirming Mexico for Saturday. Flight 612, 2:30 p.m.

I'll be back.

It's nothing.

"For your rugs and carpets, there's just one product."

Hulot, don't you recognize me?

Schneller, from the army!

I'll just be a minute. Wait for me here.

Like they say, "Time is money."

It's the latest model.

I bought it two days ago... cash!

You see? There's a parking meter.

You got any change? I only have bills.

We need one franc.

Here we go.

There. That's all it takes.

Come see my place.

I bought an apartment here.

Come in for a minute. We'll have a drink.

Come on. Have a little scotch.

What happened to you?

What happened, my friend? Let me see.

I just ran into something.

Come have a drink. You'll see.

I get to the door and... bing!

I'm taking my vacation in June this year.

Hulot, it's been a real pleasure.

You don't understand. I waited for you.

What do you mean? Don't be ridiculous. You know.

I was there at 6:00.

What do you think of the "Last Look"?

What are you doing there?

The other side. The red button on the left.

It's automatic. It's written in English.

Lower down. "Push."

There you go. See?

How about another scotch?

You sure?

You're always welcome. Bye now.

Ladies, use Quick Cleaner, because Quick Cleaner is...

Here's your dress, miss.

I did my very best.

You're going to look beautiful.

Oh, no, I couldn't possibly.

Hey, Jean, you've got Group E that's coming in now, okay?

This is Group E.

Follow this young lady.

Attention, please. A to L will go to Montmartre... and M to Z will go to Montparnasse.

Pardon me, but aren't you Mr. Hulot?

I looked for you for two hours this morning.

Look here. You were in our company's building.

Okay, boys, snap to it.

Let's get to work.

Those things go in the back.

You're lost in that forest.

Watch out, Robert.

Yes, we're open tonight.

Yes, it's very exclusive.

Table for two? What's the name?

Is it plugged in? Does it work?

Turn it on!

Get out of here!

It will be very classy.

The whole band will be lit up with spotlights.

Those are customers.

No more tools in the dining room, gentlemen!

That's enough.

I'm just finishing up.


Table six.

What's on your foot?

Take care of this, will you?

Nice work on the decor.

Looks great for our international guests!

I need that fixed right away.

You can't go out there like that.

Are you going to go?

Here's the glue and the tile. You can't miss it.

It's right when you go out.

What's your turbot à la royale? It's one of our specialties, madam.

It's poached in white wine, with a cream sauce.

It's delicious.

Let's have the wine list.

Your table, sir. Two?

That table is reserved, sir.

Start changing things now and you're in trouble.

What's all this fuss about?

Just look at this. This won't do.

Then turn it the other way.

Watch what happens the other way.

I see. Why is that?

Then use the door.

Instead of arguing, you could pack up your tools.

Your coat. No, I'm keeping it on. Come along.

Is this table to your liking, or would you prefer...

This is no business of yours. Back in the kitchen.

That's enough now. Go.

Table six.

Are you crazy?

Robert, did you go to catering school? Yes, sir.

Good. Hurry now.

What are you waiting for? Get the wine list.

Would you look at that!

Fine, fine, move on.

Bring that here.

Beat it.

Now it has to be seasoned, like he's doing.

And now he's putting the sauce on top.

We made a phone reservation.

We reserved this table.

What's going on here?

I called and asked specifically for this table.

What now?

There might be a short circuit.

Well, fix it quickly.

Keep on with your work.

There's nobody on the floor. Someone's got to start.

Look at the back of the chairs. They're leaving marks.

Do something about it. Fix it.

Take it to the kitchen.

Move along. There's nothing to see.

Oh, you see that?

Let's have a look.

Look at this, Mr. Giron.

I can't see from back here. You think I'm an acrobat?

I need to see.

We won't get anywhere if you're nasty about it.

This is too much.

I told you... What can I do about it?

I recommend the turbot à la royale.

I don't much care for fish.

Waiter, please.

Very well.

Hurry up, will you?

That's a good one!

This is for you, whenever you're ready.

You're really going to enjoy that!

My dear, I can't believe my eyes!

What are you doing here?

I'm so happy to see you.

We have an excellent table.

Will this table do?

How "tourist."

Pretty color, isn't it?

Did you see her shoes?

It's a flood of tourists.

Where's the architect?

What's going on?

Look here. How is this possible?

It's not my fault your waiters can't walk around the tables.

Go get me more of this. That's good stuff. I take it too.

Tea, please.

Hulot! The army, remember? Come with me.

I couldn't stop earlier in the street.

I haven't paid yet. It's on me.

Let's go to the nightclub. We'll have a blast.

You'll be my guest.

Take care of the architect.

No? Okay.

Ah, you're with the band?

Please show this gentleman the way.

Excuse me, Mr. Giron... but you told me 50 dinners, and we've already served 120.

I don't know what to serve.

There's no more sole, no filet mignon, no coq au vin.

Just cold chicken and meats. Then serve that.

Are you serving dinner?

Waiter, take this menu away.

What happened to you?

It was those chairs.

Could you take that table of American tourists?

Sure. Don't worry.

But let's trade.

No, that's not for this table.

Take this away. I can't believe it.

Listen, I took care of that table.

If you need anything else, just say so.

Is the nightclub in here?

Come in!

Look at this.

Look what happened.

Damn those iron chairs.

Hulot, look for the architect.

No, that way.

My friend!

What's going on?

What's going on here?

You'll be my guest. It's my pleasure.

That guy's in international finance.

I was wrong. It's that guy.

Yes, sir?

Take this back. It's cold!

If it keeps up like this, we're finished.

I can't serve this.

It's melted. I know. It's an oven in here.

There's nothing I can do. It's not in French.

The bar.

It's working.

What are you waiting for? Go ahead.

Get all this out of here.

Ah, great French chef.

The check.

Come on, get a move on.

My champagne, and get me that ice.

What's that? Ice.

It's the same thing every night.

And the party goes on!

Music! Music!

No, I can't play.

My friend, what are you doing there?

Don't you have anything to do?

Can't you see the customers are waiting?

Wake up.

Very nice. So go get a clean one.

Hurry up.

Can you help me out? My bow tie fell in the sauce.

This is getting to be...

I'll give it back.

We're all meeting at The Golden Corkscrew.

That's very pretty.


I was a famous singer a long time ago.

I had a big hit that went like this.

You're fired. He's the new architect.

The emperor of French cuisine.

Where is the rue Figaro and the Golden Corkscrew?

I trust you enjoyed your evening.

This is no time for business.

This one is on me. This is my party.

You understand? Come on, have some fun.

Have a coffee at the drugstore over there.

Have a coffee at the drugstore over there.

I do love Paris. I do too.

Let's have a drink.

Can't a guy have a little fun?

To the right.

Keep going.

There. That's good.

Come take a look.

How are you this morning? Fine, and you?

Yup, it's broken down.

Hello there.

This is really too much.

That's "good morning" the French way. Have a drink on me.

We're going to have some coffee.

Something for my friends.

Hey, Mr. American, if you want to climb this ladder, you can have my job.

Bring your glass over here.


All right, that's it. Beat it.

Now, what's this measure?

No, no more.

A very modern musician... French style, of course.

I'm buying for everybody. Keep the change.

Let me introduce my buddy.

All fixed now. No need to worry.

Excuse me, sir.

I'd like...

What do you want?

"Fancy goods," please.

At the back of the store.

What does that mean? I don't know.

Can't he speak French?

Come on, Susan.

That one. Could you wrap it?

Very well. It's a surprise.

I'd like a sample, please. This one?

Yes, it's very pretty.

That's not the exit. This is.

Please go around.

Sir, could you please give this to the young lady over there?

Carrots, shoes, some nice lettuce, some leeks, and some Camembert.