She was definitely a turnoff.
Look at her.
Obviously big problems.
I mean, most girls don't fly through the air with their skirt around their waist.
Supergirl at least had the decency to wear tights.
Not that I read comics.
I'm more the politically, environmentally correct, feminist, poetry-reading type.
You know... boring.
I wonder if she posed for that painting.
Obvious bleach job.
Too bad it's six months old.
I don't know how she does it.
I mean, I get airsick on a seesaw.
I guess she's sort of beautiful.
I don't know. Those lips.
You know, lips are supposed to be a perfect reflection of another part of a woman's anatomy.
Not that I'm a lesbian.
Well, maybe I am.
No, definitely not.
I told my mother I was, just for shock value.
She said, "Fine, just as long as you don't smoke."
Which, of course, is my main joy in life.
Probably oral compensation.
I don't think I was breastfed.
I can't imagine where she came from.
I mean, none of the other kids that go to my school are that scangie.
I really wish we could be friends.
Hey, a dog got hit! Come on!
What did he say?
Someone should just kill it.
It's still breathing.
You kids pipe down!
Hey, Johnny, wait up. Wait up.
Principal's office. Please hold.
Take a seat in there.
It's a stick-on.
I like the ivy.
Well, the cross makes me think of death, but the ivy is life.
Sort of the tragic and the hopeful, you know?
What did you do to your hair?
Oh, it's Egyptian.
So, what are you busted for?
I gotta keep a certain grade-point average.
I'm slipping in biology.
Oh, you're one of those scholarship kids.
You make it sound like Jerry's Kids.
It's not a disease.
Did it hurt?
Um, no. They used a gun. It was really quick.
But you've got this wire running through your nose.
It feels like you have a booger.
Who's the old dude who picks you up in the pimpmobile?
Oh, it's my dad.
He's having a midlife crisis.
My name's Sylvie Cooper.
So, Cooper, what did they nail you for?
I phoned in a bomb threat to KTVM.
Yeah, you know that lame guy who does the editorials?
He said that teenagers are too hormonally imbalanced to have driver's licenses.
He said the age should be raised to 21.
Well, how did they know it was you?
Wait a sec.
I've seen your dad. He is that guy.
That jerk on TV who does those tweaked editorials.
You phoned in a bomb threat to your own father?
Wow, that's great.
No, I mean it.
I'm gonna break this to you real slow.
Your dad's an asshole.
I ought to slap you good.
You can't put 200 people out on a sidewalk just because you don't like an editorial!
They're trying to get rid of me. Whose side are you on?
Sylvie, you hurt me.
I didn't mean to.
I'm sorry, Dad.
No more than me.
No more than I.
You rich fuckhead!
I worked for it!
It's nice and cool in here.
Um, I missed my ride.
Think you could you take me to Olympic and Fairfax?
Just a sec.
Dad, she's my best friend.
So why didn't you think of that before?
Oh, come on. Just this once, please?
And then I'll be grounded forever.
What's her name?
I get carsick. Do you mind if I sit in the front?
Your name is Ivy.
Is something wrong with your mouth?
Oh, TMJ. It's stress-related.
It gives you terrible headaches, makes your jaw stiff.
Almost killed Burt Reynolds.
Oh, do you have to buy condoms, too?
No, I've gotta get a spermicide with Nonoxynol-9 in it.
Oh, it's a school project, Dad.
This HIV-positive guy gave us a talk about not shooting up and using condoms.
It's not like we're supposed to screw around or anything.
Uh, we're supposed to learn to not be embarrassed, you know?
Don't worry, Dad. We gotta turn everything in at the end.
Save the receipts.
Hey, where have you been?
You lost your boot.
It's my only pair.
Are you afraid?
Come on. I won't laugh.
I gotta go.
Who cares about a stupid rope swing anyway?
What's your real name?
I like Ivy.
It sort of gives me the chance to start over.
It's so beautiful.
Where did you get it?
From my Dad.
He must really love you.
Yeah, he also feels guilty.
I was adopted.
See, my biological father was black.
You can tell by my hair.
My mom is my real mom...
But, you know, when Darryl married her... he adopted me.
I'm pretty sure it was to make her happy.
No, I think he really cares about you.
My dad didn't want me anywhere around.
He'd get so pissed if you tried to talk to him.
He'd throw stuff at me, like food or spitballs.
Your dad read Hustler?
I don't think so.
Well, one day I went through his room, and I found all this stuff, and he had, like, 500 magazines of the kind with the chicks in the high heels, and, like, they like they look like they're ready for a... exam.
Sordid. Come on.
Hey, I bet that's why you look so sexy... so that your dad would notice you.
Thank you, Doctor.
So did it work? Nope.
He left anyway.
I tried to commit suicide once. See?
Used to be a lot worse.
Oh, is my hair thing covered up?
I tried to convince them that it was female pattern balding, you know, that my hair fell out in the shape of an eye, but I don't think they really bought it.
Um, it's too big. You can never find anyone.
So, um, how are you getting home?
Not everybody gets to go home in a Mercedes.
Maybe I'll see you around.
You know, I don't really have many friends.
Um, well, yeah, any friends.
Yeah. Everybody hates me.
Oh, well, everybody hates me, too.
Do you want to come over?
We kind of have to be quiet.
My mom sleeps a lot. She's got emphysema.
Yeah, well, I think it's to get attention.
She spends her life dying.
Do you got any booze?
No. My dad... glug, glug, glug. Oh.
Oh, um, he really only likes me. It's this weird loyalty thing.
You home? Uh, yeah.
I teach reading a couple nights a week to some inner city kids.
Well, that's mighty white of you.
Wow, this is great.
I like pianos.
If I was to kill myself, I'd like to fall, just close my eyes and pretend I was flying.
Yeah, with a big splat at the end.
Well, you wouldn't feel it.
Yeah, but everybody'd stand around looking at your insides.
Yeah, well, it's a lot faster than slashing your wrists.
Who slashed their wrists?
Oh, Ivy, this is my mom Georgie.
Hi there, Georg...
Did she tell you she slashed her wrists?
I'll be right back.
Hand me the Percodan.
You never stop testing, do you?
What kind of girl is impressed by suicide?
I like her.
She has a hole in her nose.
Yeah, well, a lot of girls do.
Leave it open.
It's supposed to rain tonight.
Then open it wider.
I'd think you'd be embarrassed.
Getting caught lying all the time.
Did you tell her you're black, too?
You don't want me to have any friends, do you?
People you have to lie to so they like you aren't worth your friendship.
Look, when I'm gone you... you can play your music as loud as you want.
Your dad can turn this room into a study with leather chairs and dead animals on the wall, but in the meantime, you are not gonna hang out with a girl who has a naked woman with a sword on her back.
What do you think that says to the boys?
"Try it, buddy, and I'll cut your dick off"?
I'm causing a problem, right?
It's okay. Wait.
Look, I don't think your mom wants me here right now.
Yeah, well, I want you here, and she's sick, and sometimes it makes her act a little bit crazy.
She just cares about you.
Maybe I'll see you at school.
Do you go to Oakhurst, too?
Um, yeah. She has a scholarship.
I know. I'm kind of out of place there.
I'm always out of place... especially here.
Your home is really beautiful.
And Coop's the first girl I've met in the city that I can talk to.
She's a good person.
So where do you live?
Um, well, my aunt gets money for letting me stay there.
I get the picture.
Here. Let me.
What are you doing?
It was too low.
Try it now.
Aren't you afraid?
Energy never dies.
It just changes form.
Yeah, well... you see if you're ready to change form when you're 38 years old.
Well, my mom died in her forties... but she was dead way before that.
She only pretended to be alive.
She was so coked out all the time, looking out windows.
Every shadow was a cop or a dealer she owed.
She was always asking if I heard noises.
And she flinched every time I touched her.
Even for a hug.
I bet you drove it with the top down even in the rain.
I hope that when I die...
I'll have owned a sports car... had a family... a home.
My mom died an old lady who never did anything with the top down.
Well, one day with the top down is better than a lifetime in a box.
Groucho said he wouldn't belong to any club that would have him as a member.
I know what he meant, but with Ivy it was different.
Her acceptance didn't make me think less of her.
It made me think more of me.
At first we just wandered around, shopped.
We developed an unspoken division of labor:
She bought, I paid.
I got my first skintight red leather miniskirt.
Of course, it wasn't for me.
Over the next couple of weeks, Ivy sort of moved in.
No one seemed to mind.
I guess my parents just got used to having her around.
Ivy's aunt was in heaven.
She kept the money, we kept Ivy.
Mom really liked her.
I think Ivy's energy was good for her.
It's true, you know, what Mom said.
A lot of people think death is contagious.
Pretty phenomenal, really.
I mean, I never knew anyone that looked that much like a slut.
Here she was, my best friend.
- Ivy? Yeah?
I didn't really try to slash my wrists.
I was trying to go outside, and...
It's okay. I ran through the glass door.
And Darryl is your real father, isn't he?
I'm afraid so.
You look more like him.
My mom's pretty, huh?
Well, it's so clear.
I'm freezing my ass off.
Want me to get a jacket for you?
I hear you're having a party.
No, it's just business.
Yeah, Coop told me.
She's looking forward to proving how hormonally balanced she is.
What are you going to do?
Well, I don't have time to paint them over.
Don't worry. I'll get lost.
Can you hand me my boots?
Those cost 150 bucks.
Hundred and fifty?
Well, um... that ought to do it.
You keep the change.
Um, no. Coop's not here. This is her friend.
Jim from Head Start?
I really admire your guys' dedication.
Um, wait, I'll check.
Yeah, she's free.
Okay, great. I'll tell her.
No, I'm writing it down on her calendar right now.
"Twist on one half-turn."
I'm following directions.
Hey, Dad, I noticed the Percodan was out of Mom's room.
You got any instant?
Espresso. Dark bean, healthy bean.
So what's next, Dad, you confiscate her shoelaces and belt?
I want my pills back.
I'll get you one, honey.
I want the goddamn bottle. They're mine.
Turn it off.
Mom, he's only trying...
If I wanted to kill myself, he couldn't stop me.
Ivy, would you take me to my room, please?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Coop.
I don't want to go to school today.
Let's do something that'll make my parents cringe.
So you're sure you're 21 now?
And how old's your friend?
- Thirty. Thirty.
God damn, you ladies look fine.
Could we change the music? No.
It helps me concentrate.
Let him concentrate, Ivy.
Yeah, 'cause you're next, honey.
No, thank you.
Oh, come on.
How about a little penis... that says down the shaft, "Plan ahead"?
Why does the penis have to be so little?
It's one of my hottest sellers.
Usually the ladies like 'em between their breasts.
You sure that's sterile?
Come on, Coop. How about a little artsy one?
It'll be like we're sisters, like blood sisters.
Yeah, if the infection didn't kill me, my clad would.
Hello? I thought you said you were 30.
She's having a little problem leaving home.
Come on, what's more important, death or friendship?
Look, I'm just not the type.
Well, what's that supposed to mean?
Oh, but I am? Low-class?
You rich little bitch, with your socially acceptable rebellion.
What am I, just another one of your inner city charity cases?
Gee, I'm so sorry.
That you don't have to teach me to read.
Must break your heart.
Fuck you, Ivy.
You know what? You don't have any class.
As a matter of fact, you look like a slut.
I need 40 bucks to pay this guy.
I don't have any money.
Well, why don't you just suck his dick?
Maybe he'll give you a deal.
You take American Express?
I don't think she's 30.
One of those bills is a hundred.
Yeah. I need it back.
I'm the asshole.
Yeah, but you're still my best friend.
Oh, my God. Yuck.
And the forecast for today, - tonight and tomorrow... Ow.
...in the city and outlying areas, cool, cool, cool...
Where's the fucking bus?
I don't need no fucking bus.
I don't need no Mercedes.
I'm in charge of my own fate.
Get the hell off the street!
Because the only people safe there are the drug dealers.
Whatever happened to your freedom?
Fuck, let's get out of here. They're armed.
They have more firepower than the police department.
Where are you going? Home.
Well, I'll tell you one thing.
The kids are learning the metric system here.
Kilos, grams, that sort of thing.
We're in jail, and we have put ourselves in jail, while the people who should be behind bars are free on the streets.
This has been A Piece of My Mind.
I'm Darryl Cooper.
General manager, KTVM. Thank you.
And we're clear.
Can I get a juice, a couple aspirin?
I always seem to be looking at life... from the wrong side of the window.
Maybe I should bleach my hair, change my life, you know?
I think you'd look like a little scangie ho.
I'm a geek.
Do you think I'll ever have big tits?
I mean, girls with curly hair usually have big tits, don't they?
Well, late bloomers always turn out best anyhow.
Don't patronize me, Ivy.
I'm not patronizing you.
I'm loving you.
You love me?
Well, I love you too.
The FBI is gonna forget about the bomb threat.
They figured it was some kid.
Nobody knows whose.
Do I look older?
all I have. I can't start over.
Darryl... you must own half the Valley by now.
What do you need a job for?
Is this party gonna help?
They're gonna eat your food, drink your booze... and do whatever they already decided to.
What's really bothering you?
She promised she'd never leave me.
Now she can barely breathe enough to say "I love you."
What am I without her?
What were you doing up there?
Just leave me alone.
Can't I, like... I mean...
Isn't there anything that I can do?
Like anything to make you feel better?
Because I have a blank spot in my schedule.
I mean, what do you think?
I feel bad all the time, and I don't know what to do.
Do you believe in God?
I'm tired, okay?
Yeah, well, you know, I'd like to know.
Not now. When?
You're sick, and you don't know what you believe?
I know I feel like shit.
I know that the idea of taking a breath without pain sounds like heaven... and when you're dead, you don't breathe...
I'm just tired.
I like fuzzy things.
Like peaches, and kiwis, and Hostess Snowballs.
I like you like this.
I think it makes you look...
Ivy, I have... ...more like a person.
You know, when I first met you...
...I thought I was gonna be intimidated by you.
Never met anybody on TV before.
But now... you're more real.
I bet whoever bandaged it forgot to do that.
Oh, my God, someone's early. Tell Dad.
Well, who died?
What are you doing? Put some pants on.
I got a van full of kids outside.
Most of them don't need the keys to get it started.
We gotta get out of here. Let's go.
I can't. I'm helping my dad with his party.
What? Oh, my God.
I must have gotten the days mixed up.
Coop, I said you could go.
Look, 30 seconds, and the Van's history.
Come on, we gotta get out of here.
What's going on here?
Hi, Mr. Cooper. How are you? Hi, James.
What's this? What's it gonna be, Sylvie?
You knew. How could you do this?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I was counting on her help here, James.
I promised my dad.
You know, she's the reason those kids are even in school now.
If she doesn't show up, why should they?
Well, maybe I could help.
I mean, I think I can handle taking people's coats and showing them where the bathroom is.
Please. I feel so stupid.
Let me make it up.
I'll wear something nice.
You'll love me.
Dad, what should I do?
Go ahead, honey.
We'll figure it out.
Yeah. That's right. Bob.
But I... I spell it backwards. B-0-B.
God, I hope they serve dinner soon.
Who cares? I feel guilty eating his food.
Hey, kid. Over here.
Who's gonna tell him?
I thought his kid had dark hair.
Must be a caterer.
I wonder if Georgie will make an appearance.
Think she will? I heard she's getting worse.
Oh, you can cater my party any time.
Max, behave yourself.
My fingers never left my hand.
His wife, remember? Maybe she's still alive.
Hello, Mr. Cooper.
Care for anything?
That... dress fits you perfectly.
Something like that, yeah.
I almost forgot.
You're not allowed.
I'm not an alcoholic.
I used to have a drinking problem, but since I don't drink anymore... this is okay.
Honey, I'm glad you're awake. I...
You look nice.
How stupid of me.
What a dumb, sick jerk I've been.
Honey, quiet. Now, there's...
Which little party are you afraid of me ruining?
Everybody's gone home. It's okay.
I was so happy that Sylvie had found a... little friend.
Get away from me.
I thought you both could use this.
I feel so stupid.
I shouldn't have worn your clothes.
Everybody said I look like you, and he misses you so much.
I think he came into the kitchen to cry.
And I saw him, and I put my arms around him.
It seemed right.
He doesn't drink.
I know it's stupid to be jealous about a dog.
It's probably because I have low self-esteem.
The fact that Fred hated every human except me... really meant something.
My father never gave me anything real.
I guess you give up certain things when you take on a friendship.
Come on, Fred.
I know you want some of my special treats.
No one else gives you any, do they?
You love me, don't you?
So, did it work?
Well, let me tell you about parties.
People eat your food, drink your booze, and do what they're gonna do anyway.
Have you seen Fred?
I better get to school.
What the hell are you doing in my mom's car?
I found the key.
It's not yours. Get out. Get out.
God, I wasn't doing anything.
And leave my goddamn dog alone.
Gee, all my mom's stuff seems to fit you fine.
Look, I didn't steal anything.
She said I could borrow some stuff.
Yeah, well, you're not my friend, and my dog's a traitor.
That's not true.
Well, suddenly he seems to think that he's yours.
All right, let's find out. Stand over there.
You know what this is?
Fuck you with a limp dick!
Go! Do it!
God, this is so stupid. Call him.
Go ahead. Keep calling him.
Fred. Oh, Fred.
God damn it, Fred. I called you.
Fred, come here.
No, Fred. Come here.
No, Fred. Come here.
Fred, I called you.
Come here, Fred.
Fred, get your fuzzy ass over here.
That's a good boy.
Fuck you, Fred.
Here. Here's something your mother didn't loan me.
I... got off work early.
I figured, what the hell... give the girls a ride.
Coop's not here.
Well, uh... you want a ride?
Look, Darryl, why don't you just give my books a ride home?
I feel like walking.
You're not my father.
That's right. I'm not.
I just can't...
You already did.
Remember last night?
I can stop.
Okay. How about right here?
You heard me.
I hurt you?
I thought you said "hurt me."
No, I didn't.
Did I hurt you?
I can handle this.
You have a key.
I didn't know if I should use it.
Look, I'm really sorry about your dog.
I've never had one, and it was sort of fun pretending he was mine.
He likes you best.
I'm sorry. It won't ever happen again.
By the way, what was that record you were playing?
Okay, Ivy, don't overdo it.
You think about it sometimes, don't you?
I never thought my mom would really do it.
She threatened, but I didn't believe her.
She must have really hurt.
When she first got sick, I thought she was faking.
I was embarrassed by her.
It made me angry.
This little oxygen bottle she carried with her...
We'd be at the supermarket, and she'd pull it out.
Hiss, suck. Hiss, suck.
I wanted to kill her.
Maybe if I hadn't been so selfish... maybe if I could have told her I loved her...
maybe things would be different now.
Leave it open.
Leave it open.
You're in my mother's bed.
You looked like you needed to be alone.
Come here. It's okay.
Talk to me.
This is weird.
I wanted to talk to her, you know?
Tell her stuff before she died.
Pretend I'm her.
Come on. I'm your mom.
I don't know what to say.
Well, what couldn't you say to me?
Come on. I'm Georgie.
I was jealous of you.
When you walked into a room... people shut up and stared.
I was glad when you got sick.
I thought I would finally have my turn... but I was wrong.
Everything was for you.
There was nothing left for me.
I don't buy it, Sylvie.
You were never afraid to get angry at me.
That was easy and obvious.
What couldn't you say?
What were you afraid to say?
The plan that's federally supported... would ease the debt burden... and control the soaring cost of medicine... making health care more readily available to those who need it most: small businesses... independent contractors... and the unemployed.
It's a shame that in a country...
What the hell is this?
It's a tough way for you to find out...
What do they think they're doing?
I don't know.
I mean, I... I tried to call you.
I'm sorry, Darryl.
This is Brad Daly, general manager of KTVM... in touch with you.
Let's go for a drive... all three of us.
All three of us?
We shouldn't be doing this.
A final memorial, the kind she would have liked.
I just feel like, I mean... Look.
It's your chance to say good-bye... and mine, too.
Well, they say it might rain.
One can always hope.
Are you sure you can drive?
Yeah. This is an automatic, right?
I'm just kidding.
I used to have to drive my mom home when she was too blasted.
I thought you could drive.
Well, it was on an interstate. All straight, no turns.
Aren't you supposed to shift that thing every once in a while?
Okay, forget shifting.
It's so weird.
A whole person ending up in something so small.
I'm not gonna say anything.
What is that?
What are you talking about?
You were just humming.
So where'd you hear it?
I don't know.
I do. I wrote it.
Dad recorded it for Mom for her birthday.
You heard it in her room.
So... she was playing it that morning.
Oh, my God.
You were there.
What did she say to you?
Come on! She was about to kill herself.
She must have said something.
Why won't you tell me what my mother said?
Say it! I want to hear you say it!
Are you accusing me of something?
Why, did you do something?
Everybody always ends up blaming me!
I thought you were different!
I thought that we were real friends!
Dr. Shay, report to the on-call cardiologist...
I know you probably feel like strangling her, but you're gonna have to hold off.
She's had a head injury.
One of the nurses said she's been hallucinating, so I definitely want to keep her here for at least a couple of days.
Have fun. Nurse is gonna chase you out in about ten minutes.
Okay. I'm sorry.
Everything is Ivy.
She did it. Shh.
What the hell is this?
Where is she?
This is unbelievable.
I don't want her at the house anymore.
What the hell's the matter with you, Sylvie?
She killed my mother.
Your mother committed suicide.
You almost killed yourself. You almost killed your friend.
Who drove the car? Who took your mother's urn?
Oh, stop it. Just stop the lying, will you?
I'm not lying. I know you were driving.
She's gotten to you, too, hasn't she?
I'll see you in the morning.
Oh. Hey, Charla, room 828, OK?
We ought to put motors on these things.
Did you do the blood yourself?
Thanks. Take care.
And enjoy the duds.
I stole them myself.
Oh, my God. It's Sylvie.
I can find her.
Ow! You're hurting me!
You were driving.
She made me.
She what? Made me!
I was protecting you.
The car insurance.
Isn't it better if Coop's driving?
I got to find her.
You can't even walk! Aw, Jesus.
Stay inside, and I'll find her.
You just stay put.
I've got to tell you something.
You killed her.
She wanted to die.
We can all be together now.
We can all be a family.
I can take you with me.
I still think about her.
I guess I still love her.
She might have been even more alone than I was.
I miss her.