Your recent string of failures makes me question the wisdom of your present proposal.
But sir... - general, there's no future in all these costly sea battles.
Better to save some of this money...
And spend it on the police force instead.
Are you saying we are not capable?
No, that's not what I'm saying.
You're capable of sailing your ships to the east bay.
When the pirate ships are here to the west, you're capable of... losing two ships.
It was an unexpected hurricane.
How do you explain last winter?
You were so certain that you took your ships...
And sailed to capture the Sam Pao pirates.
You went around and around in circles...
Till you wound up in Malaysia, like some drunk who lost his way.
Explain that. Uh, navigational error.
It's a comedy of errors...
Wasting taxes, chasing after pirates, while for two whole years my police force...
Has been waiting for a pay raise! Ah, yes.
Now I see what this argument is all about.
You want a pay raise.
And why shouldn't I get a raise?
At least I know what I'm doing!
Sorry, sir. Oh, you've proven that here this morning.
Admiral, if you're confident in your new procedure, do it now.
Dragon, you're wanted right away. It's urgent!
Dragon, take these papers to captain Tze. Okay.
In training for the Olympics? No, sir.
Sir. Sign, please.
All this ammunition? Is it necessary?
Is the Navy going to war?
No, but the sea is a very dangerous place.
A dangerous place?
How about the streets of Hong Kong?
Have you seen what we have to fight? And we're practically unarmed.
Corporal! Yes, sir.
Tell our men to practice running. No more shooting at criminals.
We'll run after them instead. Yes, sir.
It's amazing, the amount of ammunition...
That you go through.
Do you suppose you'd all become better marksmen...
And use less ammunition if the government made all of you pay for it?
Yes, sir, but that would make us better shooters than the Hong Kong police.
What? Stand straight when you talk to me.
Now, you listen here, sailor.
The Hong Kong police can shoot with the best.
You don't see my men begging for more ammunition.
It kills me to have to give it to you every time you ask for it.
For once, I'd like to see you shoot something.
When you see your admiral, tell him it's the last time.
You're lucky you're not in my company. Go!
Writing to mom? Tell her we'll be home in two days.
Don't forget your life jacket. Don't worry. I'll sleep with it on.
Hey, why so sad? Cheer up.
Why are all of you looking so unhappy? We're not dead yet.
The cops are watching them, aren't they?
We should be laughing our heads off.
Show some spirit. Hey, dragon.
Ready to ship out? Are the papers in order?
Sure. It's all set. Why are you all wearing such long faces?
Hey, waiter, how about some beer down here?
Ah, good catch. Thank you, sir.
Hey, Tze, over here.
Hey, look, it's Tze. Good to see you.
Long time, huh? Here, sit down. Sit down.
This is my girlfriend. I don't think you've met.
Everybody okay? I'll be right there.
Who's the toughest? We are!
The bravest? Drink to the greatest! The bravest!
Can't we put a stop to this? - Tell 'em to be quiet.
Keep it down, you bunch of schoolgirls.
Say what? You heard, all right.
Hold on. Forget it. It's okay.
Sorry. What'll it be? It's about time. Beer.
I'd like the same. Bartender, four beers!
Is there any room for me? Sure. Sit down.
Please, have a seat.
Hey, whose party?
They're celebrating. Going after pirates.
Some of them might not be coming back.
How about a milkshake? No milkshake.
The girls want beers. Just one, though.
No wonder we can't get a pay raise.
All our money goes to these clowns so they can chase pirates.
Makes me sick. They get lost every time they go to sea!
Settle down. Don't listen to him.
You know what? They couldn't find the east when the sun is shining.
Hey, no trouble. Understand?
Taibo, get the check.
Hey, officer chen, I hear you're going away.
Yeah. Oh. To Beijing?
No, Taiwan. Then take extra care. I hear there's pirates there.
With our Navy protecting the seas, you'd be better off walking.
Somehow it seems safer.
Sailors can't hold their beer.
Some spilled beer. There is nothing more to it.
Let's go. Hold it.
You got some on me. I'm sorry.
You should be.
I'll give you two choices.
You can say you're sorry, or you can...
Don't play games with me. Fight, then.
You take this!
That's the cops fighting sailors.
What is going on here?
Hands up, all of you! Do you know who I am?
Yes, you're the police!
Assaulting a police officer is a serious felony! Arrest them!
Find an exit. Yes.
You can't do this without good cause.
For what purpose are my men being detained?
Only some are being detained. Yes.
All of my best navigators. Perhaps you don't want us to set sail.
They're the ones that started it.
I hope you don't expect me to believe that.
The cops were fighting too.
Thanks to the captain's generosity, you are all released in my custody.
And no more trouble!
Father? Go home, child.
I just want to say we're sorry.
I want no apologies. You should know I would've done the same thing.
I never could stand the company of those insufferable policemen.
Come. Let's go.
Forward march! One, two.
Sailors, our mission is to lock these pirates up.
Yes, sir! When we catch them, what's our motto?
Sir, never let them escape! If you're wounded, what's your motto?
As long as we're alive, never give up!
Then if you're captured, what's your motto? Well? Tell me!
What's your motto? Guard, right here.
Talk or die! Good.
Silence is your motto. Remember it. Go.
My troops are ready.
I wish you luck on your mission, seamen.
Very good. Very good.
If you fight as fiercely against the pirates as you have...
Against the city policemen, then you're bound to win.
We built five ships. Why are there only three?
Pirates have sabotaged them, sir.
Well, the upper hand here would certainly seem to belong to the pirates.
Three ships will be too crowded.
A little overcrowding won't stop us from catching those pirates.
Why... if you find any.
Right turn! Forward march!
Get the hoses, quickly! Go!
Two ships are on fire!
Get water! Get water! Men, move!
Pirates! Oh, my God!
Oh, I wouldn't worry about it.
I'll arrange for a ship to take you to Vietnam.
Right now, I've got some business.
Chan ho, you're safe right here.
I will make sure you're protected.
Thanks to your information, the Navy won't be going to sea now.
We blew up both their ships.
Well, they're really better off this way.
Had you blown them up at sea, they would have had to swim for home.
Thanks to you, they got dry feet.
Don't mention it, my friend. All my ships make it to Hong Kong.
Lo Sam Pao protects my interests here, and I appreciate that.
Glad to hear it.
Sam Pao would like to ask a small favor.
Some rifles, 100 of them.
As soon as you can.
They're police rifles. We'll try.
You'll do it!
We'll do it.
We're counting on you.
But, uh, chief, that's a police rifle.
Where can we get 100?
A tall order for us, but we'll handle it.
We'll need a little help. What about chan ho?
No. Someone special.
The police? But how, chief?
Don't worry about it.
He owes us quite a few favors.
Sir, I have a new plan which I call project "a" that will catch the pirates.
It's perfect. But, of course, we'll need a few ships.
I'd rather talk about this later.
Oh, but sir, it's a new strategy.
Will you shut up!
Hey! Don't make so much noise. Shh!
As of today, I'm turning your men over to captain Tze to get some hard training.
I've requested from england for the rear admiral...
To come out and investigate the whole situation.
As for you, you're to be put in charge of fund-raising. Now, get out!
Change into these uniforms.
What's this all about? Captain Tze's orders.
What's going on? These are cop uniforms.
Bad news. We're cops now. No more project "a."
Congratulations on your new appointment.
No more chasing pirates. Won't be needing that.
And you, sir? Oh.
Didn't you hear about my, uh, promotion...
To, uh, chairman of the annual fund-raising?
Well, how about showing some enthusiasm?
That's, uh, my last order.
I think it's time to report.
Sergeant Maillong reporting, sir.
I'm going to see you have special duties.
Oh, sounds like it will be hard. - Shut up!
I don't care what you did in the Navy.
You're in the police now. You must learn when you answer a superior officer, answer yes or no.
Look at you. Attention!
Keep your eyes open.
Come on! Head up! Chest out! Bottoms up!
From the nose to the toes, there's one straight line!
So your name's master sergeant Maillong. Sir!
Right? Tell me, are you stupid? Yes, sir!
Hmm? No, sir! Answer!
Hmm. Not bad at all.
Captain. Ah, good timing.
This is sergeant Maillong.
Allow me to introduce to you acting inspector Tze.
I have decided to put inspector Tze in charge of your squad.
He'll soon train you and your men...
To form my special mission squad.
That will be all for now.
Not so fast!
Have you forgotten how to salute like a man?
You start training them tomorrow.
Your assignment is to make them into police officers.
Oh, now we're in for it. Come on. Fall in.
You, front and center.
Now, salute me again.
Stomach. Shoulders. Keep it in.
Five hundred times. Yes, sir.
You men are now members of the police force, and you will act as such.
Any sloppy habits that you picked up in the Navy...
Hey, do you see what I see? Will be drilled out of you.
Wow! Holy smoke! I expect all of you to be disciplined police officers...
The sexy one's mine. By the time I'm finished with you.
She's hot! Front and center.
The noise, cadets, what's it about?
There were two girls up there.
That's right. We were talking about them.
You should've seen them. You better start repeating it.
How many? - Ten thousand. Yes, sir!
Do you see what I see? Holy smoke! The sexy one's mine.
Do you see what I see? She's hot!
Who made that noise? Step out of rank.
I did, sir. Center.
You're responsible? I admit it, sir.
A lot of noise for just one man. I have a large mouth.
Suppose you tell me your punishment.
To go and laugh 10,000 times.
Guardsmen, shoot the man. Huh?
The sexy one's mine. She's hot. Do you see what I see?
Do you see what I see? The sexy one's mine.
Double time, march!
Reporting, inspector Tze. The prisoner fainted before we could fire.
We'll let his fear serve as an example.
Holy smoke. Do you see what I see?
The sexy one's mine. She's hot.
Do you see what I see? Holy smoke.
- Quiet! The sexy one's mine.
In my dream, I was kicking Tze's behind.
I'm going back to sleep.
Today, some of you trainees...
Will be learning the correct use of a hand grenade.
This is a hand grenade, a most powerful weapon.
Now, I'll give a demonstration.
Pull the pin, and always be sure to throw it in five seconds.
Boom! Big explosion. Got it, men?
Yes, sir! Jaws, go find it.
Did you switch them? Yep.
Let's see how you handle it. Sergeant, try it.
Uh, yes, sir! Sir, the sergeant is not prepared.
What do you mean? Better if you show us again.
Okay. All of you watch me this time.
Hey, you're making me look stupid.
I switched them. That's a live grenade.
You pull the pin, and when the enemy is within range you take aim.
Hey, that's a live grenade! Look out!
Company, be seated.
Our first assignment is to arrest the gangster chan ho.
A reliable source tells us that our man is hiding at the v.I.P. Club.
It is especially important that we do not disturb members of the club...
In the process of making our arrests.
Particularly, any members who may hold government offices. Diplomacy, gentlemen.
Understood? Understood, sir!
Sir, your membership card, please. Thank you.
That's fine. Ta-da!
Ooh, good feel.
Ah. What can I do for you?
Those aren't membership cards.
Quit the clowning. We're here about your friend, chan ho.
Just a second.
Oh, I see. Is there a problem?
All our guests have to be members. I'm not familiar with this man Mr. ho, sir.
Now, there's just one thing about our members.
They like their privacy. You understand.
And so, excuse me.
Let me show you out.
Suppose we're not ready yet. Wait.
Come on, now.
I'll tell you what. I can speak to my boss about it.
Hey, you. Hold it!
What are you doing?
This bozo was on his way to tip off chan.
I hope they don't make me pay... Hey!
For all the glasses that I broke. And you too.
Do you know who owns this place? Why don't you tell us.
Hey, I suggest you bring him out here.
He's resting now. You guys have your look.
It's the manager's office. There's no one inside.
Hey, stop! Come back here!
Quick, run for it!
So, chan, you're here after all.
Come out from behind the table, both hands showing.
It's him! You're under arrest, chan ho...
For second-degree murder.
Let me out of here, then.
He's under arrest!
I want that man put in custody!
Just a minute!
You two will have to compensate us for this fiasco! Do you understand?
No, I don't understand!
Just you listen! I'll have all your jobs!
Get in the back room.
We can't have this. Look at this mess!
Enough of this fighting!
You, there! Stop fighting!
Reporting. Show me your search warrant.
Our assignment was to arrest the murderer, chan.
Explain! Chan escaped.
How dare you! This is simply unacceptable behavior.
Captain, remove him and the rest of them.
Sergeant Maillong, I thought you'd know better.
For the last time, learn to follow orders!
Uncle... Wait, Tze.
Sergeant, first apologize to Mr. chow.
To him? Wait a minute!
Aren't you the one who ordered those men to try and kill me?
Captain, the colonel will be informed.
I want this man reprimanded. Sergeant!
You are harboring a murderer!
I want you to apologize to him! Your career is at stake here.
You're simply disobeying me outright.
So be it, then! I quit!
I'll never become a policeman.
All of you, stay where you are!
You take the credit. We got our man.
Is that any way to greet an old pal?
Come on. Don't be like that.
Just because you're in trouble again, is that my fault?
What do you know about it? Oh, it's not hard to put it together.
Plainclothes officers entering a club that's known for harboring gangsters...
Always equals trouble.
So does seeing you here.
Don't be so high and mighty.
Since you joined the force, I've gone straight.
So it's okay for you to be seen with your old pal fats.
There are people who will be happy to hear you've quit.
Such as? Figure it out.
You stumbled right into it. Go on.
All right, that mission was top secret, sure, but they still managed to blow up your boats.
Blind chance. No.
Hey, the pirates' weapons, they're coming from someone inside the force.
Read all about it! The pirate bombers have struck again!
Three men dead, twenty-four injured! Read all about it!
Read all about it! The pirate bombers have struck again!
How can you be sure? Because it's too easy.
Is there something you're not telling me?
Come on, now. Who's selling those weapons?
I found that there are four types of people in the world...
Rich, poor, cops and thieves.
I can't seem to become a rich man, but I don't like being poor either.
The cops don't want me, so that leaves only the thieves.
And since you're my friend, I'll try to be a good thief. Let's compromise.
I get the weapons, not the pirates. You catch the traitor.
Got a plan?
Already worked out.
- Untie the rope! Go down below.
It looks about right. Captain, I think you'll find these rifles to your liking.
Thank you. Men, load them up.
Man overboard! There he is!
Captain, I'll be on my way.
Yes. Thank you. - Over here!
What happened? The pier has moved!
Help him! Get a rope!
Don't shoot! It's the captain.
We've gotta save him.
Let me go! Are you crazy?
Silence! Selling weapons to the pirates.
Shall we hang him, shoot him or chop off his head?
I say, let's chop! Oh, yes. We'll chop his head off!
Since we're surrounded by water, let's throw him overboard.
Splendid idea! Let's throw him overboard!
Let's throw them all overboard!
Why aren't you in the water? Please.
You can't swim? That's right.
Can't swim. He'll learn.
Perhaps it's time you learned!
Just a minute.
Why don't you try this. Yeah, now you can swim!
Oh, thank you. It's all right.
I can't swim!
I can't swim! Help!
Well, you've got your guns. What are you going to do with them?
Find some buyers, of course.
These will bring good money.
Why don't you give all of these rifles back to the army?
How about if I sell them back to the army? Is that okay?
Sure. Glad I could help you then.
What's that? This is the only way, you see, that we'll be able to find the right timber.
There's a million of them.
Mr. Fei. This way. Not bad.
Let me see it.
It's all here. Rifles?
Same time tomorrow. I'm not stupid.
They're in a safe place.
No money till we get the rifles.
They're in the log yard.
I'll take you there tomorrow.
How do you know which log the guns are in? Don't worry.
I marked it with a colored flag. See? Look.
It wouldn't be a red flag, would it?
That's great. Now how do we find it?
Uh, we'll turn them over.
Okay, let's get started.
All right, wise guy. I'm only gonna ask this once.
Where are the rifles? Watch how you talk to me.
You guys should know not to mess with me.
A double cross.
Somebody tricked me. You better give it up, fats.
Where did you hide the rifles? All right.
Everyone leave now. The harbor's closed.
What? Come on. Let's beat it.
I think you're working for them.
No, I'm not.
I said to clear this place. But I am an undertaker.
This poor man over here, he needs a coffin made from the best log we can find.
All right? Hey, how about this one?
Yes, that's good, but not today.
This harbor is off-limits.
Okay, we'll come tomorrow.
See you later.
There's too many cops around.
We'll catch up to Mr. fats in a few minutes.
All right, come on. Let's go.
Admiral, it's all clear.
Dragon said it's the log without the red flag. Go find it.
What? The captain wasn't smuggling guns for lo Sam Pao?
My father says that he was buying them for his men.
My father says you told him where the guns were hidden.
Well, tell me how you knew where they were.
From the gangsters.
I overheard them talking about it.
What happened? Some of them got wise to it.
Oh, no. No matter. I was much too fast for them.
Then, two more came around the corner, and I knocked them flat on their backs.
Then, I did the same to the next four or five who came after me.
I showed them.
You know, those men were only too happy...
To start telling me all about those rifles.
Anyway, I'm happy I was able to help out the admiral.
I know. You're so nice.
You're a traitor! You'd sell out your best buddy for a little kissing!
I'll show you, traitor!
You're the only traitor! I'm not through with you!
Where'd the fat guy go?
Fat guy? He jumped out the window.
I suppose you think I owe you for that!
Better not lie to me this time.
There he is.
Why are you chasing me?
You should be asking him where the weapons are!
Let's get out of here! Huh?
Better ask that guy. Come on! Talk!
I sold them. What?
Will you aim that somewhere else?
You traitor! You're nothing but a double-crosser!
Hey, I'm not a traitor. Who always saves you? Admit it!
When trouble starts, I'm always there! To start the trouble.
I start it? How about the time I saved you from the firing squad?
How about that? You talk about that all the time!
I should've let them shoot you!
Let's go! Come on!
Wait. Where's Wendy? You're asking me?
Look upstairs. Be careful.
Don't let them catch you. I'm getting tired of saving you all the time.
Some of you go that way!
It's all right. Come on.
If we don't jump, we're gonna die. Uh-huh.
Go on! Do it now! You'll drop me.
Don't worry. I won't drop you. Come on!
Uh-uh. Do you know what those men will do if they catch you?
This way. Hide in there.
There he is!
I can't. It's too hard! No, you can do it.
Go on, run!
I'm up here, dragon. Up here.
Give me your hand.
You're going too fast! Not again.
What are we going to do?
Take off your dress. Are you crazy?
Here, I'll help you out. Ow! No. Wait. Stop!
You two go up the alley. We'll go this way.
Arrest him! Assaulting an officer!
Uh... I'm so sorry, captain Tze.
It's the mad sergeant. Uh, let me help you.
So, you must think that I'm an old fool.
Oh, no. No, sir. It's just that I'm running late. Oh, no.
You're not running at all.
Somehow, I-I got caught in your handcuffs.
You're under arrest. Desertion. You'll be put away.
Captain Tze, maybe we can talk this over. Huh? Like friends?
I haven't the time to talk to you or anyone else. We lost... your rifles.
Excuse me. Tell me, what do you know?
Only what they're saying on the grapevine.
You can tell me all about it back at the station.
Come on. Uh, maybe we can talk this over.
We'll see. I think maybe a little time behind bars...
Will make you a better man. Listen, you made your point.
I'll try hard to behave next time.
As I said earlier, I am running late. Huh?
Stop him! Stop that man!
Somebody help me! Help me!
This way! This way!
Watch it! Out of my way!
There! He's down there! Get after him!
Out of the way!
And a slice of pie. Huh?
Aah! Out of the way!
Why don't you use the brakes? Hey, I am using them.
There is another one you owe me. You are the reason they're after me.
Here. Let me help you.
Dragon, what's he doing over there? Fats always gets me into a mess.
Never mind him. Come on.
Hold on. Is that any way for you to be talking about me?
If it wasn't for me, you'd be dead. That's what you always say.
Let's take it outside. Anytime.
Let's save our fight for later. Let's go two at a time.
Attention! Stand up! Shoulders back!
Chest out! Stomach in! Head high!
Hold it. That way.
It's over, boys. Not yet.
I would not be so sure about that now.
Hands up. Let's keep this simple.
It's the cavalry. Hey, captain Tze, it's me!
What a surprise! Fabulous to see you! Hey!
Seize that man! Yes, sir!
Get some handcuffs on him, and don't you try to get away! -All right.
I want you to put me back in custody. I surrender.
Master sergeant, arrest this maniac. Let's do it.
I'm afraid there's been a series of bicycle accidents. It's all my fault.
I'm the one who started it. Patrolman, I want a full report.
Wendy, does your father know you're here dressed like that?
He'd be so embarrassed, wouldn't he?
You'd better leave. I'm going home.
Fats, see you later, all right?
Hey, fatso. Haven't I seen you somewhere?
All of us big guys resemble each other.
All of you must talk the same way.
Sure. You know, we all think the same way too. Ain't that right, captain?
I still say you look awfully familiar.
Have a good day.
You and me aren't finished yet. Hey, that's my hat!
Thanks for that life preserver. No problem.
He's the thief! Stop that man!
You can't leave me here. Go after that fat man!
Before you kill him, you must make him tell you where the weapons are.
But this time, you will not escape!
I'll deal with you later. Captain! Come back! Don't leave me here!
Please! Lock me up! Don't leave me here!
You can't do this!
Over there! Over there!
You idiot, you can't shoot here.
Where are the rifles?
Just forget about it. Where?
I've never seen anything like it.
Where are the goods? Start talking.
Stay where you are! I'm coming right up!
Just a little bit longer!
I can't! Ohh!
Are you all right?
I'm okay, but the gangsters are still up there.
How many? How many? About five or six.
They've got weapons. Weapons?
Bring them down!
Chinese junks ahead, captain!
No need to worry about it. Those junks are unarmed.
Right. But there are pirates around here. Better keep watch. Aye, aye, sir.
Take that, you blasted...
The rear admiral was on his way here to capture the pirates, but the pirates have captured him instead.
- What can be done now? Well, here's my suggestion:
A total blockade of the harbor and surrounding waters.
'Causing a sea traffic jam, so to speak?
But don't you see? That's ridiculous. We are in the shipping business, and even if you blockade these waters for months, lo Sam Pao may still elude you.
In the meantime, we shippers will be put out of business.
There has to be another way.
Don't forget the pirates have the rear admiral and the others.
Freeing them is our first priority.
Well, we can't let anything happen to the rear admiral.
We must at all costs save the admiral's life.
It's about time you came up with a good plan.
Please have a seat, Mr. chow. Thank you.
Ah, forgive me, gentlemen. Duty calls.
Gentlemen. Of course.
Where were we? Oh, yes. A blockade is out of the question.
There's an old English proverb that says, "'tis better to compromise than to risk it all."
Now, if those pirates want money, we'll give it to them.
I understand you're willing to act as a go-between, so it's just a matter of coming up with the money.
The Navy training fund will do nicely.
You're an easy man to do business with, colonel. There's also the matter...
Of some of my men being unfairly arrested.
Let's work that out. I'll order the captain to release them immediately.
Colonel, I really can't help admiring your medals.
Ah, one of the true privileges of service.
To ensure safe passage for my ships, I have had some unofficial contact with the pirates, but this time I'll have to go personally to see Sam Pao.
I'd like to present him with 100 rifles as a gesture of good faith.
Oh, my. Well, that does have the ring of impropriety, Mr. chow.
Believe me, colonel, it will greatly expedite matters.
Very well, then. I'll arrange it.
Good day, sir. This way. Good day.
You, there, what... get out of... there.
Who are you?
Master sergeant Maillong.
But formerly I served in the Navy.
What are you doing here? I came over here to...
To volunteer my services, to try and help save the rear admiral.
But instead I see you making deals with the mob.
But you don't understand the point. I'm doing this to spare the rear admiral's life.
By throwing your lot in with chow!
Shows just how corrupt you are. You have corrupted the entire consulate!
Pirates and gangsters will never fear us...
As long as we continue to allow them...
To use the weapons of extortion and ransom against this consulate!
You've known all along that the only way to stop these criminals...
Is by going to war against all of them, yet you are too much of a coward.
The people of Hong Kong can only be pushed so far.
It seems to me the time has come to start pushing back, to fight them.
You spent the colony's money on this gold...
And sent ill-equipped armed forces out to be completely massacred!
How many more people must die?
You think of me as a coward, sergeant. You think I'm some sort of armchair soldier.
I would never run from a good scrap, but I haven't got a choice.
What else can I do? Be a soldier, a real soldier.
Tell lo Sam Pao and his men if they are ready to do battle, so is Hong Kong!
Mm. Tell me what you need.
Why not, colonel? To free the hostages, some boats are needed.
You'll take all of the responsibility for this mission.
Yes, sir, if I can do it my way.
Get to it.
Thank you for your donations, ladies.
Good luck. Bye-bye.
Father, there. See it?
The Navy flag is flying.
Detail ready for your orders, admiral.
Help me! Someone help me!
Come here, you. Get rid of him.
Are you all right? Hey! Let go of me!
Yes. Thank you, Mr. chow. Simon.
You know me? Only by your reputation, of course.
I'd be happy to escort you. Oh, I was just going for tea.
Allow me, please.
Driver? Yes, sir?
Go and get some tea for the lady. Yes, sir.
The night air is rather chilly.
Let's wait inside.
He's going to work.
You know, you surprise me, Simon. You are such a gentleman.
Thank you. You are very beautiful, Elizabeth.
Yes. Almost amazingly so.
Well, we were, uh...
Let's get this straight. Until I tell you otherwise, give us some privacy.
We should've known better. Yeah, but one of these times...
Here. Take over. I'm going to the bathroom. Yeah. Sure.
Sounds a lot like a cathouse.
Quick, get him in here!
Go! Go, horsey! Go! Giddyap!
Easy. You're going to kill him.
Who cares? I'm not a cop, am I?
Who cares if I kill him? As far as I'm concerned, no mercy.
Out of my way!
Hold it! Stop it! Ow!
I can't file a report that you killed him, can I?
He wouldn't file a report on us, would he? Let him file a report.
There won't be a body left anywhere to be found.
Oh, please. Please don't kill me.
Okay. If you tell us where lo Sam Pao and his pirates are hiding, maybe we'll see.
We don't make deals with scum like this. Let me at him!
Please. I promise. All right?
You're wasting your breath.
Hold on. If you want to live now, tell us where he is.
Go on! You start talking!
1:30. Sam Pao's boat will dock at the west pier.
That's where I'm to meet it.
There'll be three strings of firecrackers hanging from the sail.
There is a password. Ahoy! Sailing alone?
Poitoi island? Why should I be?
How do you fire them? Gunpowder on top, saltpeter all around.
Yep. Any ships at sea?
Six lined up.
Give us a name. You're just a tiller, boy.
There is no need to give you a name. I'm coming aboard.
He got it right. Yes, sir.
These are presents for your boss. They'll be taken care of.
They went for it.
Welcome aboard. What do you mean?
Huh? I mean "welcome aboard."
Welcome to lo Sam Pao's hideout, you mean.
Oh. That too. Why are you following me?
I'm not following you. I'm here to get myself some rifles.
What? Are you stupid? They might see you.
I'm not going back in there. In here.
Mr. chow, a few more minutes. Mm-hmm.
Now we will rescue the hostages. Are you ready to take on some pirates?
Sounds good, but count me out of it.
Then you be sure to stay out of my way. Ah, don't worry about it.
You can have those guys. Once I get what I came for, I sail off into the horizon.
See you do that. Yeah.
Look. Go tell the chief it's chow's boat. Right away.
Mr. chow, this way. Ah, yes.
Hey. Hey, what are you doing with that?
He dresses real cute.
Chow wong? Yes, lord of the sea?
Ah, seldom am I called "lord of the sea."
"Devil of the sea" is more like it. You make an impressive appearance.
I am impressed with you, lord lo. - Wait.
I have a first name. Call me Sam.
Sam, then. You know, it's been five years...
Since we've had anyone of your stature here.
Right. I'm depending on you for good conversation.
I'll certainly do my best to oblige you. I'm grateful for your protection.
It is a rough life, this piracy.
Hard on a man. All the same, I do take a certain amount of pleasure instilling fear in men.
Those boxes contain all your weapons. There is some wine in the...
let's see the rifles. Aye, sir.
Someone forgot to clean them up?
There were some problems we didn't expect. Don't worry about it, okay?
Pretty soon they'll all be shipshape.
They're shipshape now. Yeah. Pack it up. Excellent present, Mr. chow.
Sam Pao, I would like to ask of you a small favor.
What kind of favor? The governor personally asked...
The governor asked you to come and arrest me?
Sam Pao, you have a sense of humor.
See, what I've come to ask you is to please release the hostages, starting with the rear admiral.
That's why I brought you all of these rifles.
No. You brought the rifles so I'd continue to protect your boats for you.
Yes, Sam Pao, but the governor wants to know...
If we could at least talk about the hostages.
Tell him "no." I think that...
I think that they are my hostages, so I will do with them exactly as I please.
Yes. Only... you just forget about it.
But Sam Pao... show Mr. chow to his room.
Right this way. Tonight we celebrate.
Uh, yeah. Uh... brother chow?
Hmm? These islands can be very dangerous, I assure you.
You might want to keep that in mind, yes? Thank you for the warning.
Get those rifles stored away, men. Yes, sir.
Mr. chow, it's this way. Yes.
Hey, where the hell does this tunnel take us?
It goes to the storage room. Are there any precious items down there?
Gold and so on? Just salted fish and dried vegetables. No gold.
You can't store rifles there. They'll get rusty.
You're right... bad for the rifles.
Let's go to the treasury. You lead the way. Don't you know the way?
Nobody's shown me so far. Been here only a couple days.
That means that you don't know me. Why? Am I supposed to?
Just do your job, that's all. Move it out.
All right, but you're supposed to help me with it, aren't you?
Shut up and start. Go.
I hear it. You go up the right side.
Hiya. Grub's ready.
Okay. Good. I'm starving.
Right. You keep hidden; I'll find dragon.
You two come with me. Stand guard.
Yeah. All right. Uh-huh.
I wrote it on the back of my hand. What do you mean?
Don't move! The password.
What happens if I give you the password, and you turn out to be a government spy...
Who only wants the password so he can gain access to the secret hideout of lo Sam Pao?
How do I know you're not trying to trick me into giving you information you don't have?
Give me one good reason why I should give you the password, my pirate friend.
How 'bout you giving me the password?
The password! How would I know it?
Password. Beat me.
Password? It's "beat me."
Idiot! What kind of password is that?
Oh, it's you. You scared the heck out of me. Yeah. And the others?
They're over there.
Hey. Dragon's here. Where's Tze?
He's looking for you. Must've been him.
Jaws, you come with me.
Now at least I know that that's not the password.
You! What's the password? The stars are out tonight.
Password? The stars are out tonight.
Sorry. That's not it. Wrong again?
It's Tze. Come on.
¶ Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream ¶
¶¶ One little slip, and we blow it.
Mr. chow, what are you doing? Nothing up my sleeves.
Rear admiral, are you there? I'm right here.
Here are the keys. We go at 9:05.
All you girls... forget it.
Wonderful party. Thank you. Now, Mr. chow, have a drink.
To Sam Pao. May you always have success.
Ahh. Come on. Sit.
Brother, you could be right about those hostages.
I don't need them. Better to send them all back.
Lo Sam Pao, you are a sensible man.
Okay. Let's go. Come on.
Come on! Hurry! Hurry!
What about the English women? We should make them dance. Guards!
No, Sam. After they've been locked up so long, it would probably kill them.
I have an idea. How about arm wrestling?
Listen, my friends. Whoever can beat lo Sam Pao...
At arm wrestling will win this gold watch.
Sam Pao, are you ready?
Yeah. Let's go.
Bring 'em on.
Who's first? Let's go!
How are you, Mr. chung? Just fine.
I hear it's quite a party. Cho cow.
Let me up! It's me! What? Is that fats?
Dragon's in trouble. Some of us have to go back in there and save him.
From what? Cho cow.
He made it? He made it. I just saw his boat arrive.
I'm going in there.
All right. You heard what he said. Jaws, come with me.
Taibo, get the hostages safe aboard a ship and set sail for Hong Kong right away.
There's no time to lose. What about you, boss?
Your concern is only with the civilians, not with me.
Taibo, this is serious.
Should I get caught, will you tell my mother her son will miss her?
Hey, jaws. You know, I'd take your place if Tze would permit it, you know I would.
Then you switch places with me. No one's going to care.
Ah, but, ah, you're the one he chose to accompany him.
Hey. You know where the rifles are?
Sure. This way.
Here. Fats, take one.
Should come in handy. All right. Go.
Good to see you. Yeah.
Cho cow, when did you get out?
Just yesterday. You should see that place.
Worst prison in Hong Kong.
I know. Hey, chow! Over here!
Mr. chow? Didn't you know?
Where is he? Here.
I know you are upset about your approaching imprisonment. - What are you doing here?
But you... blaming me is not the answer.
Hey, just say what's on your mind. But wait... what seems to be the problem between you gentlemen? Sam Pao, if Cho cow had done his job, we wouldn't have one. What? I...
Go ahead. Try putting all the blame on me.
Why should I be held responsible? There's nothing I could do about it.
I can't believe you! - If you come claiming to be able to do the job, you do it.
In the future, you should hire someone who is capable.
I don't work for you! Oh, no, but you mess up the assignment.
Look here. He's not Mr. chow.
Now, Cho cow. The more you continue to argue, the more insulted I become.
Cho cow, your words are offensive to me.
Ah, chow... - no. It's too late. My reputation has been damaged.
Hey, Cho. Say something.
Sam Pao, I'm going.
Stay, Cho. You can't go now.
I'm sorry, Sam Pao. It's about my honor.
Wait. Hey, boss, we got trouble!
The police are everywhere. Must be 100, maybe more.
Get out there! Defend the island!
We came back. Why?
Because it looks like you need help.
The police were shown the way. Oh, Cho cow, I think he did it.
Huh? So you bought your freedom from prison?
Sir, you don't believe that? Get your hands up!
You tipped them. How else would they have found us?
But lo, he's lying!
Cho cow, thank you. Now the pirates are finished.
But I... - lo Sam Pao, you're under arrest.
I want you to order your men to come quietly. No.
You don't have enough manpower. Yes, they do, lord lo Sam Pao.
Police are everywhere. You're a coward.
Ooh, I'm just trying to help out.
Cho cow, you have betrayed us.
No. Please don't, Sam Pao. Let me prove my innocence.
Dragon should be okay now without him hanging around.
Let's make this easy. One false move, and we blow up your ships.
Wait a minute! You can't let him get away with that! They gonna blow up everything!
Let's blow it!
Cut off reinforcements. Blow up the entrances. Yes.
Wait, chow. Never mind. I want it.
Hey, I think you're a fake!
Well, it takes one to know one.
Help me, please.
You're gonna get us all killed!
Not that way!
What the hell are you doing? Inspector Tze told me to cut off the reinforcements.
You go help dragon with Sam Pao.
Wait! You're running out on us? Actually, yes.
Back so soon? Yeah. You happy?
Lo Sam Pao, the game is over. It's finished.
It's not over till one of you kills me.
What are you doing? Hey!
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Are you trying to kill me? Put it back!
Jaws, are you all right? Yeah.
All the entrances are blocked. How do we get out of here? Still got one grenade left.
Find me a compass. Forty-four degrees, mainsail about.
Hey, how far from land?
About 60 feet. Sixty feet? That's odd.
I can't see it anywhere. Oh, you wouldn't.
Why not? It's 60 feet straight beneath the bottom of the raft.
Wait. Shouldn't we be sailing into the wind?
He's right. Forty-seven degrees South.
But, hey, which way is Hong Kong?
To the west. I just sail into the sunset.
Use the wind instead of the sunset. Test it for us.
South 45. Turn her about.
The sun isn't setting. It's rising.
You see? I saved you once again.
Shut up and steer the boat.