Pup Academy S1E11 Script

The Substitute (2019)

WHERE PUPS BECOME DOGS Wait for me.

Did you hear? We're getting a substitute human today.

What's a substitute?

It means another human is coming to Pup Academy to take over for Morgan.

What's a Morgan?

You know what that means?

We get to prank the substitute.

Remember Professor Howard's first day?

Whoa, this is heavy.

Pup Academy has had substitutes before, but this is the first ever human substitute.

It's historic!

Which is why you gotta leave the pranking to moi, Señor Fun.

Leave it to you?

Everybody knows I'm the Prank Master General, four dog years running.

Because you're the only pup that's been here four years in a row.

Well, there's a new Prank Master General in town.

Oh, really?

I gladly accept the challenge.

Whoever makes the substitute quit is the undisputed Prank Master General.

And gets to wear the official Prank Master sash.

There's a sash?

You're on!

And may the best prankster win!

-Which will be me! -Which will be me!

What's a sash?

Corazon, are you having a temporary lapse in judgement?

You think you can outprank Bite?

He's the baddest dog in school!

Well, that means I'm gonna have to take it to the next level.

No mercy.

Whoever that substitute is, they're toast.

I can't believe today's the day. I get to be your substitute.

I'm going back to Pup Academy!

This is gonna be the best day of my life!

I'm sorry you're sick, but this, this is gonna be awesome!

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Break it down now!

Yeah, here we are We're always learning something new There may be ups and downs But we'll be comin' through So pay attention We'll pick up a thing or two Uh-oh-o-oh I'll be right by your side No matter what No matter what You got me day and night No matter what No matter what I'll always be there For you And I know You're there for me too And we got that bond For life No matter what No matter what I got you like that

Oh, hey, Izzy.

We're so glad that you can substitute for Morgan at Pup Academy while he's sick.

I know. Isn't it great?

I have a 101 degree fever.

I know! I'm so pumped!

And I made Morgan's favorite lunch for your big day.

"Have fun. Watch where you step."

You give him these little Post-it notes?

That is adorable.

Yes, and he keeps all of them. Did you know that?

Could you guys stop talking about me like I'm not here?

Well, you shouldn't be, sweetheart. You should be in bed.

The sitter's gonna be here any minute.

I have a double shift today so Grandpa and I are gonna share sick duty.

-Have fun, Izzy. -I will.

Keep warm.

-Bye. -Bye, honey.

Okay. You'll need my tag to go to Pup Academy.

Can't be too careful.

And the "Woofie-Talkie."

Also awesome, over.

Okay, to the toilet.

Bye.

Awesome!

Substitute Izzy reporting for duty, sir.

Well, your official Pup Academy welcoming committee proudly welcomes you to Pup Academy.

This is so awesome!

Yes, it is.

Charlie, are you sure this is a good idea?

I can't believe I'm back!

When Morgan almost revealed the school to the world, Izzy helped keep it a secret.

And I sort of promised.

With Morgan out sick, this was the perfect opportunity.

This is the greatest day of my life!

That's good. Nice. She likes it.

Oh, I can't believe that I'm back!

Just stay right there. Okay?

-Okay. -All right.

Substitute Izzy officially reporting for duty, sir.

What do I need to know?

If I do a good job, can I come back?

Let's just see how today goes first, shall we? Okay.

They're gonna walk all over her, aren't they?

-What did he say? -That you're gonna do great.

-That's not what he said. -That's not what I said.

Okay, look, Izzy, Pup Academy is not all fun and games.

If you want the full caretaker experience, then you're gonna need this.

Is this what I think it is?

Well, if you think it's a pooper-scooper, then yes.

Here.

Eat up.

This will make you feel better.

This is disgusting.

-Can you taste test it? -Of course.

I'd be happy to taste it again if it'll make you happy.

Oh, okay. Oh, look.

Huh?

-So good. -You sure we shouldn't call Mom?

Nah! It's nothin' Charlie's ol' timey remedies can't cure.

Here, this will help.

Put that on your nose.

Whenever one of the pups get sick, I give them a big bite of this, and they feel better almost immediately.

This is soup you give to sick dogs?

Yes.

Whenever you're done in there, let me know.

I gotta get back to work.

MEET OUR NEW SUBSTITUTE What're you laughin' about?

Oh, nothin'.

Except I already set up my first prank and it's going down in this classroom.

Booya!

Dang! He's ahead of you, Bite!

That's 'cause I'm the "bestest" "prankologist" this side of... this side of... that side.

I'm pretty sure "bestest" isn't a word.

Nor, for that matter, is "prankologist."

Pups, as you know, we have a substitute today.

I expect you to treat this human with the same respect you would treat Morgan or myself.

Yeah, game on.

Everyone, say hello to today's substitute human.

This sub isn't gonna know what hit them.

Izzy.

Izzy?

No!

Izzy! Look out!

Hi, everybody. Whoa!

No!

My name--

Whoa!

Oh, no.

Nothing to see here.

Substitute Izzy reporting for duty and planning on kicking butt so I get to come back.

Nice one, Corazon.

You tripped her right when she came in.

Didn't know you had it in ya.

Neither did I.

Bite! Wait up!

Corazon, what are you doing?

Bite, we have to call off the prankfest.

The substitute is my human. I give.

Seriously?

Yes! So you win! Okay?

Oh, no.

Now that I know the substitute's your human, this is gonna be double the fun.

Oh, no!

Okay, so, I've gotta run back and check on Morgan.

-Okay. -You got this, Izzy?

Absolutely.

I'm laser focused on being the best substitute ever.

Oh, my gosh! Look at those little uniforms.

They are so cute.

Fetchball is an important part of what we do here at Pup Academy.

Skills learned here help your pup be a better pet in the human world.

Okay, pups. Play hard, and keep it clean.

A substitute ref doesn't entitle you to engage in reckless shenanigans.

Although, it could be fun.

You're the best prankster ever, Bite.

Oh, no.

I've gotta stop Bite before he pranks Izzy.

Coach?

Hey, what's up, Corazon?

Hey, I was wondering.

Maybe instead of fetchball we could not fetchball?

Oh, yeah, and I was wondering if you'd like detention for the rest of the day?

Well, no, but--

Then get out there and fetch!

So, you're the ref.

You gotta work the fetchball launcher.

Then stand over there, blow the whistle, and keep an eye out for biting, nipping, and shoving. Got it.

Have fun.

Go fetch!

All right! Let's see some hustle. Hut! Come on, pups!

Move your tails.

Hey, Corazon.

Ready for the pregame show?

No!

Oldie but a goodie, huh?

I turned the fetchball flingers into high speed and used the sticky toys, just like I did to Professor Howard.

Bite takes the lead.

No!

Am I doing this right?

Is this how the game works?

Izzy!

You're okay!

Oh, I get it. I get it.

A prank, very funny.

Very, very funny.

Actually, it was funny. Now, come on. Let's take a lap.

So how's Izzy doing?

Still a little clumsy, but she's figuring it out.

Now, as for you...

The wet sock treatment.

Here, lie back.

This is one of my great-great-grandmother's remedies.

She was sort of a doctor in her day.

Or a medicine woman.

Anyway, she made great soup.

So, you want me to put my feet in ice-cold water, while you slap a pair of hot wet socks on my face.

Yep. Tried and tested by yours truly.

How you feelin'?

-Ridiculous! -Exactly.

Aside from confusing the germs, we're going to embarrass them into leaving your body.

Oh, speaking of which.

What was that?

Nothing. Just heal.

Oh.

-Charlie, not wet sock therapy again. -Yeah.

Morgan, sweetheart, I got you some There's-No-Flu, for kids.

That's real medicine.

Modern doesn't mean better, Molly.

You should try wet sock at the hospital today.

In fact, feel free to share the secret with the other nurses too.

All right, listen.

My Morgan shift starts right now.

Why don't we see who gets him better faster, shall we?

Oh. Challenge accepted.

I am not an experiment.

It's on!

All right everybody, lunchtime.

Hope you're hungry for laughs.

No. Seriously, Bite, this is my human.

We can't prank her again.

Oh, no. The bet is on until she quits.

So sit down and take some notes, pal, class is in session.

Okay, pups. Kibble break.

Wait.

Huh?

Missed one.

When she hits that kibble cupboard, it's all going down.

No!

Oh, no!

Everything just keeps messing up.

Charlie will never invite me back.

HYGIENE CLASS So to summarize, my peeps.

Hygiene: I don't like baths any more than you, but nobody hugs you without them.

So there's no explanation for why the kibble would fall out like that?

No. It's for eating, not wearing. I'm starting to think--

And finally, it's time to talk to you canines about your canines.

Because teeth are also known as canines?

Cool, right?

Charlie?

-A little help? -Yes.

Oral hygiene is very important for both dogs and humans.

Soon, your human will take you to get your teeth cleaned.

Izzy will show you what to expect.

This one I can ace.

You just watch, Charlie.

You'll definitely want me back at the Academy after this lesson.

Okay.

Bite, what did you do?

I've taken this class four times.

I know exactly how to prank a human here.

No!

You have something in your teeth.

Oh, my gosh!

Is this a part of the class?

Oh, no.

What?

Well, when I saw the marbles, I suspected.

Then the fetchball flingers, the kibble, and now this.

This is Professor Howard's first day all over again.

What're you talking about, Charlie? My first day was boss!

Toys. Everywhere.

No!

Yup. It was a perfect day.

The pups are pranking you.

My best friend pranked me?

Not awesome, Corazon. Not awesome at all.

I was on my way to get Morgan his Teddy Boo Boo and Izzy, let me try to explain this.

This is a school... just like yours.

-Okay. -You're a substitute.

What do you do when you have one?

Well, there was this one time where Morgan and I pranked Mr. Bannington's sub... and we put whipped cream all over his chair.

You know what? Just forget I told you that.

I just...

I get pranks.

I even like pranks.

I just don't understand why Corazon would prank me.

I could ask him.

Yeah, sure. Wait, what?

Oh, my gosh! That's right, you can talk to dogs!

You can help me talk to Izzy!

-Okay. -Why does he chase his tail?

Why can't I sleep on the bed?

Did he eat my birthday cake?

Why does she put the lid down on the water bowl?

And why does he eat the neighbor's cat food? Disgusting.

Why does she eat brussels sprouts? Disgusting!

Hey! Enough!

I'll help you guys set up a nice long chat later. Okay?

Corazon, Izzy wants to know why you're pranking her.

He said he's not trying to prank you.

He's trying to stop them from happening.

Apparently, Bite is trying to get you to quit so that... so that he can be the undisputed "Prankster General."

Oh, "Prank Master General." Right. Thank you.

Oh! Okay, that is such a relief.

That's great. But, if you're feeling better, I should go see if Morgan's feeling better.

With Teddy Boo Boo.

-Wait! -What?

Before you leave.

Can you ask Corazon for me if he has one more prank in him?

Yeah. I guess I can.

So this will get rid of the cold?

Absolutely. Another one of Charlie's ol' timey remedies.

Steam will clear all that ails you.

Except it's chicken soup.

Exactly! You think eating it is good for you?

Imagine steaming in it.

Oh.

Oh, sweetheart, you are still burning up... and you smell like chicken noodle.

I'll take it over from here, thank you very much.

A little menthol rub and a humidifier to the rescue.

Suit yourself. I think he made some big improvements under my care.

Oh, surely, you jest.

I don't jest at all. I think he's really doing much better.

I disagree, and he'll make bigger improvements under my care.

I beg to differ. My care.

-My care. -My care.

-My care. -My care.

I don't care!

I just want to get better.

Oh.

I'll get three spoons. What do you say?

-I'm hungry. -Let's eat.

Oh! She's on the edge.

One more prank and you know she's gonna quit.

What are we gonna do?

I don't know.

But something worthy of "Prank Master General."

Oh, substitute Izzy!

Where are you?

You summoned me, sir?

I did.

I have a very important task for you to do right now, in the manner in which I tell you.

I will not let you down, sir.

Raking leaves.

Take this rake, and clean this all up.

This is perfect.

Charlie's giving us every detail.

That's the dog you say keeps getting held back?

Four years now.

Not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Rotty loves it.

Okay, so we leave the snakes in the pile.

And then the snakes scare her, and we win?

Who isn't afraid of snakes, right?

She's totally gonna quit after this prank.

Here she comes.

This is it, Bite.

I think she sees the snakes.

Snake!

She totally fell for it.

This is the best day ever.

What are you two doing?

Did you just prank the substitute?

Do you want me to report you to D-O-G?

No!

Yes! I mean, no!

Wait, is this a trick question?

Now you go help the poor girl out!

Fine. But I still bet she quits.

There you go.

Rotty! You ripped her arm off!

She tastes like plastic!

She's a zombie!

Don't eat me! I taste terrible!

Booya!

Oh, yeah!

Wait.

I got pranked by the substitute?

Bet you didn't see that coming.

I think there's a new Prank Master General in town:

Izzy!

I completely agree.

I love this place.

Oh, man!

This sash really brought out my eyes.

-Bless you! -Oh, thanks.

And good job teaching those pups a lesson.

That is what you do here, isn't it?

What we do here.

-I can come back? -Upon invitation from me or Morgan.

-But, yes. -I can come back!

-That's cute. -I can come back!

She did earn their respect.

This is so awesome!

She'll be fun to have around. Besides... we may need the help.

You're the Prank Master General? Nice work.

And I earned a return trip.

How you feeling?

Great! Mom and Charlie nursed me back to health.

I'm all better.

But seems they caught what I had.

I'll trade you a little medicine for my socks.

Seems like a little old and a little new is the way to heal fast.

So we both win?

-Oh, Charlie, I think we both lost. -Yeah.

But you know what? At this point... I will try anything. Hand 'em over.

Oh, thank you so much.

Gonna need a substitute.

I'm so pumped!