Pup Academy S1E3 Script

Cooking Up Trouble (2019)

Okay. One yoga mat? Check.

Relaxing music? Check.

One very furry yoga partner? Check.

Namaste, yogis.

Today on Project Puppy, we are going to be showing you a great way to start the day.

Yoga!

And who better to show us the downward dog, than a downward dog.

Okay. I want you to focus on your breathing, and realize nothing exists, except you, your puppy...

Oopsie?

Oh, no.

Okay, now, take five deep breaths.

One, two... three.

-Oopsie? -Four.

How did you get in here?

Oopsie!

No! Like I said a gazillion times!

I don't want to play!

These are my digs! You live next door.

-Scram! -Oopsie.

Exactly!

Now take five deep breaths. Ready?

Go home, and come back when you're older and cooler, like me.

Shoo! Skedaddle!

Scram!

Oopsie!

Corazon? We're supposed to be present and calm here. Calm!

Izzy! C'mon, it's time to go!

Great. And now I'm late.

And today's video just became tomorrow's video.

Boo! I still love you, but boo!

She booed?

Is boo bad? I think it's bad.

But don't boo me, boo Oopsie.

Boo, Oopsie!

Boo!

Oopsie?

Well, wherever you're hiding, don't come back.

Capiche?

And whatever you do, do not follow me.

Oopsie!

Corazon?

What are you thinking?

Didn't you study the rule book?

"Never ever, under any circumstances, bring another human or dog into the academy."

Are you trying to get expelled?

No. Why?

What are you talking about, Whiz?

You've got a pup behind you.

Oopsie!

Oh, no.

I'm going to get expelled!

Whatever expelled is!

Boo! Boo, Oopsie, boo!

Oopsie.

Yeah, here we are, we're always learning something new There may be ups and downs But we'll be comin' through So pay attention We'll pick up a thing or two Uh-oh-o-oh I'll be right by your side No matter what No matter what You got me day and night No matter what No matter what I'll always be there For you And I know You're there for me too And we got that bond for life No matter what No matter what I got you like that


Oh, I'm in big-o trouble-o.

Guys, Fitz is trying to convince D-O-G to get rid of the me and all my friends, remember?

That means you guys!

Yes! Gasp!

Seriously, Corazon, how could this happen?

Oopsie!

Yes! This is a big oopsie. Huge!

-So, who is this puppy? -Oopsie.

We get it.

It's a major flub! A disaster!

Oopsie?

Exactly! It's a huge mistake!

Now who is this pup?

Oopsie! That's her name!

Oh!

Why didn't you say so?

She's my neighbor, and don't be fooled by the cuteness, she's all trouble, all the time.

Oopsie?

Yeah. She looks bad to the bone.

You need to stick her back through the hydrant now.

-Pups? -Headmistress Gruff.

Hide her. Now!

Oopsie! Shoo! Skedaddle!

Oopsie!

Pups, let's go!

We're learning about your campus and all its environs.

Headmistress Gruff!

Mind if I ask you a question as we walk through the campus and all its environs?

Of course not.

Or ten?

-Number one! -Whiz, wait up!

Why is going number one called number one?

-Whiz, slow down! -Just keep Oopsie out of sight until we can sneak her home.

I mean, how much trouble can one little pup get into?

You have no idea.

What are you working on, Morgan?

Since I'm officially your apprentice now, I'm working on ideas to "Morganize" this place.

"Morganize?"

Yeah. Tech this place up.

Everything in here is so old-school.

Well, newer isn't always better, you know.

What's this?

It's a phone.

And this?

A compass.

And this?

A board game.

That's film.

That's a record.

Give it a listen.

Just crank this.

My hip did that once.

You know, I have all that on my phone, Grandpa.

You said I can leave my stamp on this place, right?

I appreciate the initiative.

Pup Academy will be better than ever. Trust me.

Things are fine just the way they are.

My phone is also a flashlight.

Okay, now you're just rubbin' it in.

All right everyone, settle in.

This is one of the most important things you're going to learn about your new school.

Check it out.

I found this backpack, and put Oopsie inside!

She's pretty much invisible now, right?

Oopsie!

Right.

Behold the Wildwood!

-Oopsie! -That tickles. Stop it.

Something funny, Corazon?

Nope!

This dense forest keeps us and our secret protected from the outside world.

Corazon, be quiet!

I can't help it!

Oopsie!

Oopsie is tickling me!

-Stop it! -Oopsie?

Not a bark, yip, or woof! Capiche?

Corazon, what is going on with you?

I...

Corazon has a terrible case of "Oopsieitis."

He has all the classic symptoms; wriggling, you know, restlessness...

Uncontrollable giggling.

Wow, Headmistress!

The Wildwood sounds cool.

-Can I go in? -No!

The Wildwood is absolutely, unequivocally, 100 percent off limits to all pups!

Oopsie, stop wiggling! Stop wiggling!

There are unimaginable dangers within the darkness of those woods.

Go in, and you may never come out.

Spark! Help me up!

Oopsie!

Whoever said that is right.

Going in there would be the biggest oopsie of your young lives.

Sounds awful.

We're already dealing with the biggest Oopsie of our young lives.

It just got bigger.

She crawled out of my backpack.

Oopsie!

The oopsie is out of the bag!

Oopsie.

I'll distract Gruff, you get the fluffball.

On it!

I think.

Headmistress Gruff, don't look at me!

-I'm not going into the Wildwood! -What?

This is gonna be good.

I'm not scared of the Wildwood!

I'm not scared at all!

Spark! Get back here!

There's nothing there that can take me, nothing big or small.

Spark!

I don't know what you are trying to prove, but that kind of behavior will not be tolerated!

The rest of you, off to your next classes.

And Spark... off to detention.

Oopsie.

Now, Spark, I don't enjoy giving detention, so please, let's not make this a habit.

I can't believe Spark is in detention because of Oopsie.

That's what Oopsie does. She's trouble with a capital...

Whatever trouble starts with.

But don't worry, I tied her to a tree.

What kind of knot did you use?

Knot?

Oopsie!

Careful with that mower. Without ol' Chompers, there's no freshly-mowed "fetchball" field.

Which takes you half a day to mow.

But the Morganized version has a GPS antennae connected to my phone through Bluetooth.

Last time I had Bluetooth, I had to go to the dentist.

Grandpa jokes.

-Yeah. -Hilarious.

-Thank you. -No.

Bluetooth lets me control it with my phone.

Wow!

-Meet Chompers 3.0. -Oh.

Chompers 3.0 has remote-enabled ignition.

Wow.

-GPS guidance. -Nice.

And you can pre-program its path so that it will only cut through the "fetchball" lines.

You're kiddin'.

So you can walk away, take a nap, or whatever.

Oh, I like the nap idea.

It's a prototype, but...

Wait. Something's wrong.

Oh! Run!

Serpentine!

-It's following me! -Run, Grandpa!

Why is it just following me?

Yo, yo, doggy-dogs!

Eyes up front, can you dig it?

Why are you talking like that?

I'm relating to you pups by talkin' the way you talk.

Cool, right?

Sorry, not cool!

You sound like my grandpa.

How old are you?

Well, I find your use of quasi-youthful colloquialisms refreshingly endearing!

I'm Professor Howard, but you can call me H-Dawg.

Where my pups at?

Professor Dude?

We're right in front of you.

Today's Human Protection class lesson is "Friend or Foe."

Hey.

Charlie will play the human, and I'll be quizzing you on each scenario.

So! How to tell the difference between a burglar or a mailman.

Some human is walkin' up on your digs.

Stranger danger!

What's your first course of action?

The hat and gloves might make you think he's a burglar, but don't be fooled because appearances can be deceiving.

Maybe he's just a cold mailman?

How will you react?

Look for the telltale scent of postage stamps.

Lick him and hope for the best?

Holy moly!

Whiz, we need a distraction. Now!

Oh, boy! Here goes nothing.

I'm attacking the burglar!

Charlie!

Not bad, Whiz. Not bad.

Oh, no.

Oopsie!

Oopsie!

Whiz, I'm sure this won't come as a surprise when I say... detention.

Oh, will this affect my grade?

Oopsie! Where are you?

Oopsie!

I can't believe you got two of my friends detention.

Oopsie?

No, we're not friends.

You're just the annoying little fuzzball from next door.

-Got it? -Oopsie.

You're a pain in my butt, and all you cause is trouble.

So please, just stay in this locker until it's time to go home.

Corazon?

What are you doing out here, and who are you talking to?

I was just hanging out.

Not breaking any rules, that's for sure.

Oopsie.

Pardon me?

-Oopsie! -Stop it! Cut it out!

-Voices down in the hallway! -Oopsie.

-Stop it! -Oopsie!

-Enough! -Oopsie.

One more Oopsie and that's it.

And, Charlie, are you okay?

Yeah.

Hey! Hut! Fetchfield in five.

Let's see some hustle.

Corazon, quit lollygagging in the hallway, it's time for "fetchball"!

Oh, right, I actually just need--

No excuses!

Pups these days I tell ya.

Oh, no! Oopsie!

Oopsie all you want, Corazon.

That was the final straw.

You're joining your friends in detention.

Oh, that won't be necessary, Headmistress Gruff.

You see, I actually need to...

Charlie? Where are you going with that bag?

Could you come back here for a second?

Oh, Oopsie.

"Fetchball" has just been Morganized.

Oh, wow.

Oopsie!

Ball.

Shoe.

-That's great. -Bone.

Nice job!

Every time I swipe the phone, the flinger throws a toy in the direction I swipe.

Impressive.

You mind if I try?

Sure.

Oopsie!

So I just type in the word "swipe"?

-Wait! Oh. -What?

Oh, no! It's malfunctioning!

-Maybe I did that wrong! -Grandpa!

Maybe I typed something else.

-I'm not sure. -I can't shut it off. It's dangerous!

-I'm not a good typer. -I can't shut it off.

-Oh, my goodness! -Oh, no!

-Oopsie. -Hit the dirt!

-I can't turn it off! -Save yourself! Whoa!

So remember pups, detention will last for precisely one hour.

Which will give me the opportunity to have a little rest.

But professor, what if we need to go to the doggy park?

Or... Okay.

Let's do this.

Oh, no.

Morgan, make it stop!

It's the receiver. It needs to be disconnected.

Okay, well disconnect it.

I am trying!

So where's Oopsie?

Not my problem anymore. Don't care.

What's going on out there?

Found her.

Oopsie.

And she's heading right toward the Wildwood!

Man. Now I have to care.

Man, this is all my fault.

I wanted Oopsie gone, but not "gone" gone.

We have to stop her before she gets into the Wildwood!

Which means we need a plan.

Here's what I'm thinking.

Spark and I create model decoys of the three of us using supplies we find around the room.

Corazon will announce a fire drill, allowing us to escape.

The rest of us will board a hot air balloon.

I deploy Spark by dog parachute, and...

Well, you get the gist.

Pretty cool, right?

Oh! What in the world?

Oh, goodness gracious.

D-O-G, we have a problem here!

Or we could just walk out, now that Gruff is gone.

Sure, take the easy way.

Yes! The Dos Amigos ride again.

It's tres.

Not the way I say it. Let's go!

You can do it, Morgan!

Just need to get to the receiver.

Gonna need some help here!

Just...

Well, that didn't go as planned.

Oopsie!

Oopsie? Where are you?

Oopsie!

Oopsie, wait!

That's the Wildwood!

Pups that go in there don't come out!

Oopsie!

Oopsie!

Oopsie?

Come here, Oopsie, please?

Oopsie?

Oopsie! Where are you?

I'm too young to go!

I haven't even chewed a slipper!

Oopsie?

Oopsie.

There you are! Thank goodness.

We've gotta get out of here.

Oopsie.

I know I said you're not my friend.

I was mad.

I keep forgetting how little you are.

I should've known better, being all older and wiser.

Oopsie.

Yeah, you're probably right. Just older.

But, please? I'm sorry.

Will you forgive me?

Oopsie.

Thanks.

Okay, we gotta go.

Right now!

Okay, almost out.

Everything will be fine.

This is fine, everything is fine.

Yes!

That wasn't so scary, was it?

Oopsie.

No, you're right. It was terrifying.

So much for putting my stamp on this place.

You were right.

Things were fine before I messed with them.

I give up.

Oh, you can't give up that easy. You just got here.

You gotta crack a few eggs to make an omelet.

Who say what now?

Just because you don't have all the answers today, doesn't mean you won't have 'em tomorrow.

Well, you were right about one thing.

There is no place for this here.

Wanna play?

Oh.

Actually, the puppies, they ate all the vowels.

Oh.

Actually I've got a crossword game on my phone.

Oh. Great!

Let's try yours.

Here we go.

I got a nine-letter word worth 75 points.

Check it out.

-"Morganize"? -Yeah.

That's not a word.

Sure it is.

Well, it is now.

Well, pups, I hope you three learned your lesson today.

Oh, absolutely, Headmistress Gruff.

Lesson learned!

Good. Now where is Corazon?

Headmistress Gruff!

I want you to look directly into my eyes as I tell you how sorry we are about our behavior.

Gotta be sneaky.

Oopsie, be quiet.

Okay. But really, you have to get home before your humans do--

-Snake! -What?

I thought I saw a snake in the bushes!

-What the-- -Oopsie!

Oh, nope, my bad. Just a weird squirrel.

Anyway, gotta go. See you later!

Pleasure as always, Headmistress. Bye!

But where is Corazon? I--

Whatever.

I am just so glad this day is over.

Oh, no!

Charlie!

Worst day ever!

-Stop it! -I don't know how, I'm trying!

Okay, I want you to focus on your breathing, and realize nothing exists, -except you, your puppy, and calm. -Oopsie!

Oopsie!