Pup Academy S1E4 Script

My Uncle Is Dude (2019)

As I was saying, that Spark is clearly a bad influence.

Come on, guys. I see a shoe we can eat. Let's get it!

And you're telling me, you still believe this stray is the key to saving our school.

-Yes. -Hey!

That's not a toy. That's my shoe.

-Come on. Let's get into trouble. -Give me my shoe back.

You're positive?

Because I shouldn't need to remind you you've been wrong before.

She's still learning the rules.

I will win this tug of war!

Continuing to believe in that prophecy nonsense is a bad idea, but we do have a deal.

If your unconventional student doesn't pass her first pop quiz today, then--

Yes. We'll discuss replacing her.

Before history repeats itself.

-I got it. -We stop operating off an old prophecy and just start running this school the way it should be run.

By me.

Don't worry.

I know how important those pups are to you.

I'll do everything I can to make sure they ace the quiz today.

-I am on it! -Charlie, look out for that--

My old "fetchball" injury.

Can somebody pass me a "Woofie-Talkie"?

You mean your Walkie-Talkie?

I prefer Woofie.

Of course you do.

Oh, that hurts.

-Still on time. -Barely.

Mr. Edwards, I know you have special permission to work-study with your Grandpa, but--

I can't just come and go as I please. I'm clear on the rules.

Good. But if I find you're taking advantage of this arrangement, I can shut it down like that.

Like that.

I never did learn how to snap my fingers.

Don't worry, Principal Schiffley, school has my undivided attention.

Morgan. It's Grandpa. I need your undivided attention!

What was that?

Yeah, here we are We're always learning something new There may be ups and downs But we'll be comin' through So pay attention We'll pick up a thing or two like Uh-oh-o-oh I'll be right by your side No matter what No matter what You got me day and night No matter what No matter what I'll always be there For you And I know You're there for me too And we got that bond for life No matter what No matter what I got you like that

Thanks for your help, Morgan.

D-O-G really needs a human for the "Walk Your Human" pop quiz.

Well, that's why you called me, Grandpa. I'm a human, right?

Yeah. You know, what about school? You said the principal had her eye on you.

I can juggle both, you've explained the "walk" test, and we have science this morning.

That's my best subject, and that class is a breeze.

As long as you're sure you can juggle both these worlds.

Keeping up your grades is important, I don't want to see you get in trouble.

You just rest. It'll be a cinch.

Just hit me with the Walkie when you need me.

Okay. It's a Woofie.

I'm not calling it that.

Morgan, come in.

It's Grandpa. It's an emergency. Over.

Coming over, over.

Can you scratch my toe? Over.

The little guy, right on the end there.

Yeah, that's so good.

Thank you, over.

Barely making it again.

I trust this isn't going to become a habit?

Where's Mr. Bannington?

Mr. Bannington is out sick. So, I'll be teaching his class today.

And what's with all this stuff?

-This is science class. -Yes. Food sciences.

My class, my way, Edwards, and I have a sweet tooth.

So today, we are going to be exchanging beakers for spatulas.

Actually, that's a turkey baster.

I knew that.

Okay. Everyone get out your spatulas.

Actually, that's a whisk.

-Of course it is. Okay, spatula. -Ladle.

Well, it's a good thing I'm gonna be grading you, and you're not grading me.

-Spatula. -Who knew?

Okay. You have until the end of class to complete the assignment, which is to bake a delicious treat of your choosing, which I will sample, perhaps twice, and grade.

Now, everyone pair up, and let's get started.

I guess it's you and me, new kid.

Hi, I'm Morgan.

Izzy.

Here's the quick update. I took this class for extra credit so I can get into the best film school in the world.

-Aren't you ten? -I have big dreams.

Planned out over decades. They start right here.

So do not mess this up for me.

So, what to cook?

Morgan, it's Grandpa.

Class is about to start. You're up.

-Over. -Okay, I'll be right there.

How about a soufflé?

Let's see, a quarter cup of sugar, eight ounces semi-sweet chocolate.

This sounds like a fancy A+ dessert.

-Sure does. But first, I gotta go. -What? Where?

I gotta go change into my cooking smock?

Wait, hey. My phone.

Now I gotta do this by memory.

Okay, pups. Today is your first pop quiz.

"How to Walk Your Human."

They like to think that they are doing this for you, but we dogs know if we didn't drag them outside, they'd never get off their butts.

Our substitute human for today is holding the rope that we attach the humans to.

Humans call it a leash.

I call it scary.

We call it an "Attachment Rope For Friends," or "ARFF."

That's right.

When you see a lazy human, just "ARFF," and they'll know it's time for their walk.

Why do we need this ARFF?

Why can't we just walk beside them?

Humans seem to like to be attached to us when they leave the house, which is why we need the ARFF.

Exactly. Now, the other thing you can do--

Grandpa? I think I'm gonna need a little help here.

What's K9 barking about?

This is Grandpa. Over.

He's explaining the importance of the leash, -or the ARFF. -ARFF?

Yes, that's sounding very good, everyone.

Now, you will need to pass this test to be certified human-walkers.

Drop your ARFF at your human's feet.

All you have to do is walk the dog, Morgan.

Okay.

And remember, all you have to do is walk the human.

All of the Howlers and the Growlers will have to complete this course.

Rotty. Why don't you demonstrate for the rest of the class?

Who, me? Okay.

Take him for a ride, Rotty.

-There you go. -Hey, this seems fun.

-I'm gonna do it fast! -Hey!

There are three stations to today's quiz.

One, "Friendly Greeting."

Whoa. More than four sniffs, and you're getting a little nosey.

Two, "Crosswalk Safety."

Whoa, Rotty's kind of a pro.

Yeah, a pro at being tied to a leash. Who would want that?

And three, the most challenging station, "Resist the Squirrel." Over.

Did he say squirrel?

Squirrel!

It's a walk, not a run.

-Squirrel. -Mayday, Grandpa!

Mayday! Come in!

Rotty, you're lucky that was a demonstration.

Okay. The pop quiz starts now.

Who'd like to go first?

How about Spark?

I don't think so.

Spark. Not a request. This is mandatory.

I'm really more of an off-leash type of dog.

I walk myself.

My... What's come over her?

Oh, no.

If one Howler fails today's quiz, they all do.

Isn't that right, Coach?

Teams are teams. Only as strong as the weakest link.

Morgan, this is Grandpa.

Are you okay? Over.

I'm fine, Grandpa. Thanks for asking.

You really got battered up there.

Batter?

I gotta go!

Oh, my gosh. Did you have to take my phone?

Sorry. All these phones look the same.

And that's the cooking smock you needed to get?

Why does it have the word "Human" on it?

Because...

Because I'm human, Izzy, and I'm proud of that.

Oh, no. I remembered this wrong.

I knew I put too much sugar in there.

We're gonna have to start all over.

Your pie is coming along nicely.

It's a flan.

Of course it is, Jen.

Okay.

What do we have over here?

Looks like an empty bowl and another empty bowl.

We like to start with a fresh palette.

Fresh? Do you know what else starts with the letter F?

Fail!

If we're gonna get this done, we need to work as a team.

I'll be the chef, you be the sous-chef.

Good idea. What's a sous-chef?

-Heat the oven to 275 for 15 minutes. -Okay.

Morgan. It's Grandpa. Where are you? Over.

Oh, shoot! 275? 752? 572?

Higher the better, right?

Morgan. Come in, Morgan. This is Grandpa, over.

Coach K9 is getting impatient.

Over.

-I'm on it. -On what?

On to get more ingredients.

We don't need more ingredients.

What is with that guy?

Nice job, Bite. Growlers are delivering.

-Corazon, you're up! -Squirrel.

Corazon, no!

You need to pass the crosswalk test before you even get to that station.

Squirrel!

Focus! I'll sneeze when it's time to cross.

Corazon, you're saying hello, not sharing your life stories.

Not sure what's what?

Wait for it.

Gesundheit.

Right. That's the signal.

Pretty good, Corazon. Only one obstacle left.

Oh, no!

Squirrel.

Close your eyes. I'll sneeze when it's gone.

Don't look at the squirrel.

Don't even think about the squirrel.

Is it over?

You passed, Corazon.

And, Whiz, cover your snout when you sneeze.

-I'll be right back. -What? No! We are not done.

What could pass as ingredients? Bacon and cheese kibble?

Hopefully she won't actually use them.

Got the ingredients!

What happened?

It's burnt. You set the oven to 572, not 275!

In fairness, those numbers look the same.

Only 300 degrees off.

We're gonna have to start all over. Again.

You put the all those in the soufflé?

I used all the chocolate up, so, we're improvising.

The next part of the exam is up. Hurry.

Over.

These are cookie bites, right?

Yeah, Whiz, you got this!

Yeah.

Yeah!

Okay, one last station left, Whiz.

So far, all the Growlers have passed.

-Remember? -Why, yes, I do recollect that the Growlers have completed all of the--

Wildlife!

-I lost him. -Not the way it's usually done, but can't get any further from a squirrel than that.

Pass for Whiz.

I'm just glad I didn't have to sniff its butt.

I believe there's one pup who hasn't taken the test.

Spark?

Dude, that's you!

It's Spark's turn, Morgan.

But, my only experience with leashes...

Easy.

We got you cornered now!

I don't think so.

Where are you going?

Well, that didn't go by the playbook.

Spark is a stray. She's never been on a leash before.

Rules are rules. She's failing.

Which means they all are.

Well, that's it for the Howlers.

I cannot wait to meet some new pups.

There you are, Spark. You okay?

I'm fine.

Really? Because when I'm fine, I'm all, "I'm fine!"

And you said it all, "I'm fine," which sounds like you're not fine.

Oh. Have you got something against leashes?

Leashes are awesome!

Leashes mean I get to do fun stuff with Izzy and help her get exercise.

Or get trapped by Animal Control?

Perspective, Spark. It's not the leash.

It's how you look at it and the human it's connected to.

I... I don't know.

Try being connected to a kid. It can be nice.

If you try it and fail, that's one thing. We'll stand by you.

Would you fail for me?

You fail enough for all of us.

And you're welcome.

So, it seems you unplugged the oven the last time you ran off.

My bad.

Wow.

You are T-minus ten minutes away from getting an F.

Maybe fewer trips to the little boys' room?

Cooking makes me nervous?

I think I know what to do here.

Scooper.

What are you doing?

Izzy, I know I haven't been the best partner...

Understatement.

...but that's all gonna change. Right here.

Right now.

Morgan, we need you out here, quick!

-As soon as I get back. -What?

Wait. What was that?

Seems to me the end-of-the-day whistle's about to blow, and Spark is nowhere to be found.

I can't wait to put this little experiment to an end.

This is Grandpa. Over.

-Roger. -Spark is frightened.

You have to show her she can trust you.

-Over. -Over.

Hi, Spark.

Don't like this much, do you?

It's okay. We got this.

Together.

Remember, Spark, it's not the leash, it's the human it's connected to.

Okay, Spark, you're the only one of the Howlers yet to take your human for a walk.

It's go time. ARFF!

Hut! Hoorah!

Okay, Spark, let's do this.

Spark's doing it!

She's taking a human for a walk!

Yeah, Spark! You got this!

Good job, Spark.

Oh, no.

She totally nailed it!

Looks like the Howlers will make it after all.

Move on, squirrel. I'm not gonna fail my friends over you.

-Yes! -Yeah, Spark!

Spark!

You win this time, D-O-G, but she won't stay this lucky forever.

Yeah, Spark!

We did it!

I am proud of you, Spark.

It's all how you look at it, right?

Spark, that is exactly right.

What the heck are these things? Why did you shape them like bones?

Just trust me.

This is disgusting. It tastes like dog food.

Because it is.

The assignment was to make a dessert, and we did. For dogs.

Dog treats. Right, Izzy?

Yes.

This is... brilliant!

Yes!

I'd say this out-of-the-box thinking deserves a big A, wouldn't you, -Principal Schiffley? -I would.

And my Mini Schnauzers Janus, Bailey, Tiger, Skitter, Spots, Daisy and Deverough will love these.

-You have seven Mini Schnauzers? -Don't judge me.

We did it.

-We sure did. -Yes!

Nice save, Morgan. Maybe we should do this again.

On a day you don't have to go to the bathroom every 12 minutes.

-See ya. -See ya.

Morgan, come in, Morgan.

This is Grandpa. Over.

I know it's you, Grandpa. You can just say "Come in, Morgan."

You're the only other person in the world who has a Woofie-Talkie.

You called it a Woofie-Talkie.

I knew you'd like them.

I still can't believe Morgan baked us doggie treats.

Bacon. Hint of cheese.

Slight aftertaste.

It's good, but clearly the work of an amateur "doggy-biscuiteer."

Yeah, but we're eating these clumps because it makes the kid happy, right?

It's all how you look at things, remember?

And these look terrible!

But delicious!

-There's the aftertaste! -Excuse you.

Speaking of gross, there's that squirrel again.

Squirrel! You're mine, tree rodent.

Will this day ever end?

Oh, hey, Corazon.

What 'cha got there, boy?

Drop it.

Where did you get this?