Ride Along 2 (2016) Script

Nick, be good.

Ladies, are we having a good time?

Shayla, you know you're my brown sugar Barbie.

And you're my Asian daddy.

You're a naughty girl, Shayla.

Wait. I'll be right back. Don't tease me.

You ready? My God.

Okay, jus... Yes. Yes.

Bounce the mouse, big daddy! Bounce the mouse! Spank me!

You are the nastiest of all girls.

Cool. Damn it.

Hold that thought. I gotta go. Screen shot.

Looking good. We call those "ladies."

But of course, you wouldn't know that because you've never been with one before.

Come on, man.

That old hackers being nerds cliché, that's pretty dated now.

I do a'ight.

Okay, the encoded cell phone is nearly done.

And all I gots to do is slap a little Bone Machine on it.

Stop talking. Just get me a secure line. And stop speaking to me as if I care.

There you go.

God, I hate you so much.

Eavesdropping here.

It's Griffin.

You owe me a million dollars and a sincere apology.

Antonio. What are you talking about?

In the language of bribes, taking the money equals "I accept."

I see that you took the money, so we have an implied agreement.

The commissioner of ports is a team player. Yay!

Then my shipment gets busted? Come on. Boo.

Your shipment was held up 'cause I didn't get the money. Thought you called it off.

You had a job to do. I have a job to do when I get my...

Is my guy there? Tell him to wait.

Wait! He said wait. Antonio, listen, please.

If I knew the deal was still on, I would... Put it on speaker, please.

There. Now I feel like I'm participating.

Now... go for it.

So, if he didn't get the money, find out who in my organization stole from me and kill them.

Shit.

Now, my little lovely, where were we?


I got my eye on our man, Troy.

That's the biggest MCAT dealer south of Knoxville right there.

We got 100K in impound cash and a lieutenant with real trust issues.

This could get interesting.

Ready, partner?

All day, every day.

Twice on Sundays.

Stay frosty out there, Mayfield. This guy can be trigger happy.

Don't worry. I got your back.

I got your back too, James. Way before he had your back.

What part of "Stay off the goddamn mike" don't you understand, Ben?

You're just a beat cop one month out the academy.

You're lucky I let you shadow us. Now shut up. - Copy that.

Real quick, just before I start shadowing, I don't know about this Mayfield guy.

I mean, he's big and all, and that's fine if we trying to start a rap label.

But we're here to be detectives.

And you know what you need to be a detective? A big brain.

I'm not convinced you got a big brain inside that tiny head.

So say you. It's a physiological impossibility.

Look who's breaking out the double-point Scrabble words.

Everybody just be quiet. And, Ben, stay off the goddamn radio.

These are them now, boss.

Got what we need? Cash first.

Must be a misunderstanding.

Look, we can do this two ways...

Our way or the hard way. Which is our way anyway.

Well, since you put it that way, we got ourselves a deal.

Shit. It's a gun. Zoom in.

Guys, I'm coming out there right now. Sit tight. James' orders.

You don't know James like I do. That's the look of needing Ben.

He's shaking with terror! That's my partner out there!

You hear me? I'm coming in hot! Call it in.

Why you wanna go and do that? - Just hand over that cash, and we got ourselves a deal.

Are you sure you wanna go this route? I'm sure.

The hell?

Oh, shit!

One second. Shit.

Sh... Come on, turn off.

Goddamn it. Stop.

Did I interrupt something?

Did I break up your party?

Funny thing is, I see all these muscle cars, but I don't see no muscle.

Boss, you want me to put a slug in this one first? That supposed to scare me?

Let me ask you a question. Would you be scared if you knew this?

That's that Muay Thai kicking back in.

Muscle memory. Unconscious.

Are you eyeballing me?

You sneaking up on me?

'Cause this is all open.

Kick move!

Is that yours?

Mayfield!

I got you, James! Gimme... I got him!

Foot chase!

Foot chase!

Hey! Ben! Everybody move! Police!

Oh, shit!

Damn pig.

Thanks for the ride.

Hold on.

Shit!

God.

Stop!

Ben, move! You think I'm playing games?

Move!

No, he didn't!

James! Watch out! Watch out!

Shit!


James.

What, did we kill him? Just a little fender-bender.

Little fender-bender, my ass!

Get up!

That's for shooting my partner.

What you got here?

This looks like more than just drugs.

Mayfield is out for weeks because of you, and you bring him flowers?

It's a bad choice.

I disagree.

I'm the only one that got Mayfield something. You the one that got him shot!

I went to the gift shop. They had two choices.

He's not pregnant, so I went with this. It was a better fit.

Just get rid of them. Fine.

Hey, man, congratulations. Everybody heard about what you did.

All right. What do you got?

Are you gonna head this one? Go, go.

Yeah.

What you got for me?

I tried to get into this, and it fried my computer.

It's like it's got acid for blood. Aliens.

Go. I've never seen a device locked this tight.

Someone encrypted this to a level we can't crack. - Hackers.

Like, freelance hackers. Which would make a hacker a fracker.

Do you ever listen to the shit that fly out your mouth?

No. This is next-level hacking.

The only way we got lucky is because our guy has an ego and he left his tag.

Who would do that? This guy, out of Miami.

He look like a low-budget-ass Jackie Chan.

That was a good one. I know.

And get this. His handle is Bone Machine.

Let me talk to Brooks.

You want me to come with you?

No.

So Troy is trying to become the new kingpin of Atlanta, and what do you do?

Lose a hundred grand of the city's money, wind up completely destroying a parking structure.

You get your partner shot? Nice.

Well, in his defense, Mayfield wasn't his true partner.

The grown-ups are speaking, Ben.

Get me something on this guy. I've got three, maybe four days before I have to let him go.

I found a guy in Miami that encrypted Troy's flash drive.

I think he can lead me to Troy's supplier.

I need to go down there and scoop this dude up. Two days, tops. Milk run.

Good. So get a team together and fix this.

What was that? Something went in there.

Did it get you too, or no?

Pollen or something. I don't know.

I'm free though, so if you guys wanna put that team together...

But you're not a detective, Ben. You're barely even a probationary officer.

After this mess, you're about an inch from being fired. - Okay, listen.

Sir, you can't teach what I have.

I'm like a cat.

I'm like half cop, half puma, but I'm all detective.

Like, I'll get in your ass.

You know what? The psych department wants me to take less responsibility.

Mr. Barber here is still in his work placement, so if you wanna take him to Miami you can.

But if he screws up in any way, it's on you.

Come on.

No. Everybody's busy. I'll fly solo.

All right.

What was that, man? You're supposed to have my back back there, James.

We family. Family's not supposed to let shit go down... - Wait, stop. Stop.

It's not about family. It's not about friends. It's not about feelings.

It's about you not knowing how serious this work is. - I know how serious this work is.

That's why I know I need to be on the team. No, you don't. You're just a rookie.

You got lucky on your first little police case, man.

That was the worst thing to ever happen to you. Turned you into a monster.

Now you think you're ready, but you're not.

James, I am ready, man!

You need to take me so I can prove it to you, the lieutenant and everybody else.

You don't gotta prove nothing to me. You almost got us killed.

Don't let one incident define me.

You trying to say that with a straight face?

Do you wanna be responsible for ruining my career? - I don't care!

And you shouldn't either. You're getting married in a week.

Stay here and help Angela with the wedding.

You said it's a milk run. Two days, tops. Those are your words.

I can't go back to marry Angela as no scrub.

You told me to prove myself. That's what I'm trying to do! Let me do it!

Nope. You don't listen.

James, what I'm... Listen!

It's bullshit, James, not taking me to Miami.

That's ridiculous, man.

I am ready to be a detective. I'm 100% ready.

What's up, Black Hammer?

Move, AssFace. I'm not in the mood right now. Y'all done made me mad.

I'm-a show Lieutenant Brooks. I'm-a show all y'all.

People, get out of my way. I'm getting in my zone.

I don't care. I'm-a show you what happens when you chase me.

That's what happen when you make Ben mad. Spin out.

And take it out.

Yeah. I see a car I want. Get out the car. You need some help?

Get your Bengay-using ass out the car. Get your old ass on that ground.

This ain't a game to me. Bitch!

Where'd she get the bat from? Grandma... Hey. Hey!

Grandma playing dirty. We turning it up now.

She pulled a gun out her ass? Grandma, it ain't even got to go here.

I just got shot by a grandma!

That is why I hired you, Cori. You're the best.

I know. We have 12 tables over here.

If we put flower arrangements at about half, then we can do a vase with crystal around it.

I love it. Cori?

Ben.

I didn't know we were having a meeting today.

I didn't get that memo.

We just thought we could do some last-minute wedding details, that's all.

W-without me?

Well, if that's the case, then I'll just...

Listen from afar.

Hmph.

Thank you, Ben.

Yep.

I am so excited to tell you, my associate has the best hydrangea connection in all of Atlanta.

No.

For the final seating chart, I've decided to move everyone to table five because I don't want anything overshadowing your wedding.

Perfect. Table five, that's the perfect table.

No, we can't sit them there.

Why?

We can't put my uncle and Carol at the same table. They used to be on that stuff together.

You want all these people Electric Sliding all night? That's what'll happen.

Fine. I'll move him. But...

Angela, no! You're not moving anyone.

Ben. You've had your opportunity.

And you've ignored them all. Let me ask you a question.

Have you looked at my Dreamboard I posted online? My color wheel? My glam shots?

Why am I going back and forth with you? This is my wedding!

And I got a vision for my wedding.

A magnificent vision that will not be ignored by you.

She's not ignoring.

Baby, she is ignoring it.

She hasn't addressed it. Excuse me.

What are you all walkin' up, all swellin' up?

Do you know the level of who you're dealing with?

I'm a first-ballot hall of famer.

I crap out high-end clients. That's a little too much information for me.

And they keep coming back. Why? Because I have taste.

I'm not gonna do this with you. The reason why is because...

Just help me up. I'm not intimidated by you.

I'm a cop. Real badge. Authentic. What you gonna do is respect it.

Also respect the fact that you are my employee!

Your employee? That's right.

Don't you step...

Look, cop.

What you need to do is, you need to step the hell back and let me create the wedding of your dreams!

What I'm gonna do is step up!

No! I'm sick of this shit.

Ben.

So I guess we'll go with my vision now.

Get out of my house, Cori!

Look, just let Cori do her job, which is to plan the wedding.

Cori's job should be to show a little respect.

I specifically told Cori, I said, "No hydrangeas."

And what does she show up here with? Hydrangeas!

I keep forgetting that you're the bride.

Why does nobody want to show me respect?

That's what I wanna know, Ange.

I respect you.

Well, obviously not, because we're sitting here talking about my passion and...

I respect that.

I do. A lot.

Practice run for the wedding night?

Yeah. I mean, we're here.

I'm taking you into custody.

You are going down... town.

Well, I like that. 'Cause of the play on words.

Yeah... What are you...

What is that? What you trying to do? No, stop. Don't do that.

Stop.

You have the right to stay silent.

You have the right to remain silent.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything...

Let me stop you right here. I want you to Mirandize me.

I want you to Mirandize the hell out of me.

But first I need to go in that bathroom and wash all this Atlanta crime off my butt.

When I'm done, I'm-a come out clean and give myself to the law.

Take me. Handcuff me to the bed.

Babe, put that baton down. You break it, I'm-a have to pay for it.

What is going on in my stomach? I gotta get in the bathroom.

Okay.

Hey, Sis. Everything okay?

I need you to do something for me, for the wedding.

If this is about me not bringing a date...

That's not what I'm calling you about.

I was wondering, did you get me a gift for the wedding yet?

Sound like you want a favor.

Ange!

Ben really wants to go to Miami.

He told me you wouldn't take him.

Hell no. You crazy?

It would mean so much to him. I don't care what it'd mean to him.

Look, is this about him or about you getting him out of your hair for a few days?

Ange!

A little bit of both.

No can do, Sis. Get the dwarf a sedative.

He's not going with me. This is way too important. He just wants to prove himself.

The answer is no.

Hello?

This girl crazy.

Now, why would you want me to take this little flea to Miami?

To show what kind of a idiot he i...

Baby?

Baby! Yeah?

The door. Someone's at the door.

All right. They'll go away, Ange.

No, they're not. They're not going away.

I learned my lesson. I didn't break in.

I see that, James. At least not this time.

What are you wearing?

"What am I wearing?" It's called a kimono, James. They make them for men.

You need to expand your horizons.

Well, just please don't bring this bullshit to Miami with us.

Well, I won't br...

Wait a minute. Hold on. Miami, James? I'm going?

You taking me to Miami? I'm leaving in 5 minutes. You better hurry up.

Come here, man.

All right. It's too soon. Baby steps. I'm okay with that.

I knew you were gonna change your mind, 'cause when we were talking, you looked at me like...

And I was like, "He's thinking about it." You were mulling it over.

I'm pumped up.

Okay.

This is a little awkward, babe.

James wants me to go away with him for a couple days on official police business.

I don't wanna go. I don't.

But James needs me.

Okay, yeah. Baby, do what you need to do.

Really? Yeah.

Just make sure you're back in time to make me Mrs. Black Hammer.

Yes! Of course! I can't wait to get back.

Because as soon as I get here, you and I, we are gonna marry the hell out of each other.

We are gonna marry our asses off. Okay?

Give me three.

I love you. All right.

You! Hey, what can I say?

You just... Miami!

Hurry up. I'm hurrying.

Don't think I'm not grateful.

But why did you change your mind?

Ben is never gonna make detective.

And everybody on the force knows this.

But he thinks if he makes this Miami run with me that he'll prove us all wrong.

So I'm taking him so he can see for hisself.

'Cause I don't wanna hear him complaining for the rest of my life that I never gave him a chance.

You never know. He may surprise you.

I doubt it. He's done it before.

Beginner's luck.

Okay.

You'll be careful, right?

Don't worry. I'll have your little man child back here safe and sound.

He's all man.

Hey, Ange? Yeah, babe?

You know where my thong is? The silver or the gold?

The silver one. Check my top right drawer.

Don't mix up our thongs again.

I'm out.

I got 'em.

They were in my panty drawer, not yours. Thank you. - You're welcome!

Whoo! James!

Look at this, man! James, do you see this?

This is Miami! The 305!

Remember, this ain't no vacation.

First thing we gonna do is go by Miami PD, let them know we here.

You can't just slide in somebody's backyard, start doing police work without letting them know you in town.

If that's the case, we gotta stop so I can change. Why? What's the reason?

This is just wrong.

If linen is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

You look like you're in a damn cult. Tommy Bahama run a cult?

If so, good. Where can I sign up?

If we're gonna be a team, you gotta coordinate.

Listen to me, James. We gotta complement each other.

I'm not trying to complement no marshmallow.

A good detective knows how to blend in with the locals so his prey never sees him coming.

Yeah, you blending, all right.

The right gust of wind hit this thing, I'm giving you '90s P. Diddy.

All right, wait here. Why I gotta wait here?

Why you gotta talk?

Detective, I'm asking nicely.

Please. I need a suspect.

You're the Atlanta fella.

Captain Pedro Hernandez. Honored to meet you.

Detective James Payton. We just wanted to give you a heads-up.

We're gonna be working in your jurisdiction, questioning a possible witness.

Thanks for the heads-up.

What? Hydrangeas?

What's up with this? - The Antonio Pope Foundation's annual fund-raiser.

That's Antonio himself. He's a big donor.

He owns one of the largest shipping companies on the East Coast.

What is your problem? You're at my desk.

I'm sorry. I'm just looking at some floral arrangements. - Well, don't.

Don't touch my computer. Don't look at my computer. This stuff is sensitive.

That is fine. I'll log out.

You're gonna log out? Girl!

I said don't touch!

It hurts. I know. James!

Soft-tissue manipulation.

Pressure points.

You should be able to get out of that. She got my appendix, James.

She locked this whole side up. Can he get out of this?

I don't know about that one.

Come on, Ben. You're embarrassing me. Man up.

Yeah, you're embarrassing him. You're pathetic.

I tap out! Detective Payton, Atlanta Vice.

Down here a couple of days on assignment. My hat!

Detective Cruz. Homicide.

I'm Officer Ben Barber, and I am his partner. No, he's not.

I'm not shaking your hand after that.

Come on, James. Let's go before I have to bust her ass.

Come on, James. 'Cause she's too much.

Don't know what her problem is.

James, it's really cool that you need me to come down here and all.

But I feel bad 'cause then you had to cancel all your plans.

What plans?

My bachelor party.

I didn't have nothin' planned. Yeah, right.

Boy, if you don't stop...

Seriously, you didn't have anything? Nothing? You...

James, I'm not even into that... strippers and...

I'm not trying to come home to the Lady Hammer with glitter all on me.

Hey, Angela need to know who you're bringing to the wedding.

Either, Nicki Minaj or Patti LaBelle.

You know what you're doing? You're road-blocking.

That's what you're doing, man. You're still holding on to something. I know what it is.

You're afraid that when me and Angela sail off into the sunset, you're gonna be by yourself.

But here's the thing, James. You can sail off into the sunset with me and Angela.

After the honeymoon though. You can't go there.

'Cause that's when me and Angela gets busy.

You say that one more time, I'm-a shoot you in the face.

Again, it doesn't bother me. You know why, James? Because it's just banter.

Is that right? It's a trademark of all great partnerships.

No, no. It's a trademark of the brothers-in-law.

Guess who just showed up.

The brothers-in-law.

Look, man. That ain't gonna fly.

One more, one more.

Everybody settle down! Because the brothers-in-law just got to town.

You say that again, and I'm-a shoot you in the face too.

You... All right, fine.

You funny.

It's gonna stick.

All right.

How you wanna handle this whole thing with A.J.?

Wanna do Good Cop-Bad Cop? Prisoner's Dilemma?

Leave that by-the-book shit at the academy.

We're gonna assess the situation and play it on instincts... my instincts.

With all due respect, we should do the Reid technique. I done studied it.

Why don't we try the "Ben, shut the hell up" technique? Let's run that all day.

A.J., open up!

I'm gonna go check around the window.

Hey! Police! Stop! You better stop!

James! He running!

That's a foot chase! Don't say foot...

It's a foot chase!

It's a foot chase, James! Stop right there!

You ain't gotta say "Foot chase!" Stop!

Hey! Relax!

James! I'm okay!

What'd I say?

Police! Stop!

Slow down! Shit!

Police! Stop! Hey! Stop!

Stop! Stop!

Police!

Goddamn rookie.

Enjoy your barbecue!

Get down! I see you! Stop!

Police, stop!

That's it! I'm-a shoot you!

A.J.! A.J., don't you jump...

Damn it!

A.J.!

I got you, A.J.!

Goddamn it, I missed.

You'll be okay. Doesn't look that bad!

A.J., get your ass... A.J.!

A.J.!

Get in that room.

Stop! Stop!

Stop! Stop!

Shit!

Heel! Heel!

Police!

Goddamn it.

Shit! Shit!

Get out of here! Get out!

A.J. You okay, man?

Damn, I didn't see you.

It's all right. This is my friend. We just playing.

He's okay. We just playing.

What's up, Bone Machine? What you running from?

Why you chasing me? Why you running from the police?

I didn't know you were "po-lice."

You didn't hear us say, "Stop! We the police"?

Hey. I didn't see a badge.

All I saw was two mean-looking bla... entlemen.

"Blentlemen"? That ain't even a word, A.J. What you trying to say, man?

Just forget about it. Say what you mean. Have some balls! Say it!

Okay. Black.

You ran from us just 'cause we black?

Look at you.

You would run from you. Okay?

Look, all we wanna do is talk to you, A.J.

You and your son over there should be ashamed of yourselves for trying to intimidate me!

You can't hear me calling you? Running after you in flats?

Ben! What are you doing? He got me running through alleyways!

People's houses! Chasing you through chicken coops and dogs and shit!

In flats, James? Look at my outfit. I can't get another one of these.

Where's my hat at? Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Come here.

Stay focused. Stay focused. Let me show you how a real detective handles this.

Damn.

A.J., look, man.

All we trying to do is have a little conversation about your boy Troy in Atlanta.

Troy who?

You just encrypted a drive for Troy.

Troy? I-It doesn't ring a bell. I don't know any Troy.

It don't ring a bell?

No, it does not.

I'm taking your ass to jail. Come on, man!

Until you let me know what's on that secret drive of Troy's, your ass is locked up.

My word is my rep. And this is oppression.

Get your ass in there.

Why you lookin' so nervous, A.J.?

Why your legs so twitchy? Got restless leg syndrome.

Your legs won't rest when you get to jail.

They gonna be working overtime to keep them "blentlemen" off your back.

Last thing they're gonna do with your ass is be "blentle."

I am not a criminal, and you know that.

This is not fair! It's not fair? Welcome to the real world.

I'm sorry it's not fair here. You know why? It's a world where your feelings can get hurt.

It's a world where a guy can get married and not be thrown a bachelor party.

You getting married? Yes.

Congratulations. Thank you.

This guy here is about to be my brother... in-law.

Your partner is marrying your sister?

He's not my partner.

That's gotta be weird.

It's not weird at all. It's actually magical. Brings us closer together.

Ben. Stay focused. What makes you think I'm not focused?

Let me ask you a question. Go ahead.

Your girl. His sister. Yeah?

She hefty? I hope she's not a twin, all bearded and grumpy.

No, they don't look alike.

My whole point is, your partner marrying your sister has got to be tough on you.

The sex part. Think about it.

Your partner, boning...

No, we don't bone. ...your sister.

Don't... That's not... No.

A.J., you better cool out. Me so horny.

Geez! Been there.

I think you broke my nose.

That's a lawsuit right there! You just made me a very rich man!

Can't spend no money in the pen. Or dead. No.

What's it gonna be? Okay, okay.

I may have a master code key for emergencies.

You "may"? Okay. I do have one.

But it's too dangerous to keep on me. I keep it in my man Stevie B's safe.

Where's the safe?

It's at the club he owns. Tell you what.

I get that for you, you can crack Troy's computer and we're good.

What you think? Sound like a plan to me, James.

Have you been watching this? What?

Since we walked in, everybody he walk by, handshake or hug.

Hey, Candi. Hi, sweetie.

How are you? Fine.

Usual table?

And please tell the guys that midnight is coming early tonight.

Yes, sir. All right.

I know that look.

"How come the nerd is with all the hotties?"

Well, anyway, Stevie B's gonna be here in an hour, tops.

You said you didn't get a bachelor party, and we are in a club with ladies.

And we are on official police business, so...

You want to look like cops? Think about it. Maybe scare my guy off?

James, I hate to agree with A.J., but he's got a point.

Loosen up a little bit. Yeah!

Hey, where you going? I'm-a get some drinks, man. Chillax.

What is your problem? If he wanna get us a couple of drinks, let him!

He is working you like a rookie, and if you lose him, it's your fault.

Stop it. You don't think I know that?

Here's the play, James. We sit here until his friend gets here.

We act as if this is a bachelor party, let him get loose, get the information we need and then we leave.

Key word is "act."

That's what you're doing? I'm acting.

It's my bachelor party!

I got you! I got him!

One more time! One more time!

One more time!

Wait a minute.

What's happening, Black Hammer?

AssFace! Hey!

What? What are you doing?

Skyping in the rest of the bachelor party! Get off the table!

I'm acting.

Ben, I want you to meet my new lady friends.

They love to get loose and party, but they are not prostitutes.

It's his bachelor party. Let it rip.

No, that's too much, ladies. Hands off.

Hey, Ben, take a photo for me? Okay.

One, two... - I can't breathe no more. I can't breathe no more.

I got it.

Go ahead.

Ange is such a strong woman.

I don't wanna give her anything that's girly or ratchet.

Nobody's information is safe unless A.J. makes it safe.

That's a great idea!

A.J. Hey, hey, hey.

Where is Stevie B? We need to find him! You're ruining my clothes.

I'm sick of waiting on you.

We gotta toast the groom. Toast! Toast!

Toast! Toast! Toast! Toast! Toast!

Would it kill you to say something nice about me?

You want a toast? Yes!

All right. Give me my water. Here!

I've never gotten him to do anything like this. Come on. Let's hear it!

To my brother-in-law, Benjamin Barber. That's me.

He's 5'4". Gonna marry my sister.

Just graduated from the academy.

You're not doing anything but stating facts.

Guys, do you know what time it is?

It's midnight!

Whoo!

Bachelor party!

What? He's gone!

Excuse me, ladies! Shit.

I'll give the money back! I swear!

Easy, dude!

Gun! Gun!

Freeze!

Everybody down! Down! Get down!

Get up, A.J.! Get your ass up!

Every time I go to a club with you, I get into trouble. - It's probably that jacket.

He's shooting a FN 5.7, James! That gun is serious!

I'm-a push him back. Don't go now.

Too many people! Told you not to go!

Thirteen. Fourteen. What are you counting?

He's out!

Everybody stay down! Stay down!

A.J.

What?

He's gone.

Hey.

There was no code key in the damn safe.

A.J. played us.

You okay?

No. No, I am not.

Let me ask you a serious question. Maybe you not cut out for this.

That's not a question. It's a statement.

You was having such a good time at your bachelor party, you wasn't even ready.

First of all, don't act like I wanted to go to this club and stand on tables and party with a bunch of hot women.

That didn't come out right. I'm gonna start over.

My God. Detective by day, hottie by night.

What the hell's going on? - I'll tell you what's not going on... a Pilates class.

Don't know what you're dressed for, but it's stupid.

What happened? One shooter.

Obviously a professional. Went right after A.J.

Who the hell is A.J.? - A.J.'s the hacker that we came out here to question.

Now, your guys think it's gang-related. I say that's bullshit.

Because you're an expert on local gangs? I'm an expert on bullshit.

Well, expert, how'd he get the gun in? Gun was ceramic.

Or plastic. I saw it.

It was a FN 5.7. It's undetectable.

It's a downloadable super pack on my video game. You get that pack, game over!

That's how he got the gun in.

The case I'm working on right now?

Shooter got a gun inside of a secured area. And get this.

The threads on the bullet matched the casings of an FN 5.7.

Same MO. Could be the same shooter.

Who was shot? Port commissioner.

Could be connected.

It's like watching rams mate.

Why would somebody hire a professional hit man to take out a computer guy for a mid-level Atlanta dealer?

'Cause he's annoying. - If that was the case, you'd be dead a long time ago.

I'm just spitballing. Fact is, he wouldn't.

So the guy who hit the port commissioner is the same guy who tried to hit your hacker.

Maybe he's involved with something bigger.

You know what? She should be your "plus-one" for the wedding.

Get in the car. I need to get somebody for you.

Get in the car. You wanna just have an empty plate there...

I'm not gonna keep doing this. There's so much disrespect. What's funny to me, James?

The plastic gun? I detected that. But you don't say nothing about that, do you?

A professional hitter on a hacker? Club full of witnesses?

I'm driving. No, you're not.

I'm in the driver's seat, James, which means I'm driving.

Give me my keys. Your car smell like burnt toast. It stinks.

That's not toast. Get out of the car. Get off my neck!

Get off me!

You guys okay?

Do you have any idea what your insurance is gonna be?

That's the second car you done got blown up! Gonna go through the roof!

Police are no closer to a suspect in the shocking murder of Port Commissioner Douglas Griffin.

And although the investigation continues, the city has wasted no time in appointing Charles Nuñez as his successor.

I will carry on my predecessor's mission to eradicate corruption and clean up the port, no matter the cost.

No sign of him at the house.

He's not going back to the house. He's a wanted man.

Whoever's after A.J. needs to get to him, even if that means killing you guys to do it.

Guys, guys, guys.

I'm a little disappointed.

Since you've been here I've had a nightclub shooting downtown, I've fielded about 20 trespassing complaints in Little Havana.

And a freaking car blew up. We didn't plant the car bomb.

Yeah, but we did the other stuff, James.

I spoke to your lieutenant in Atlanta, and he'd love it if you went home.

Happy travels, guys.

Happy travels, my ass. We ain't going nowhere.

Answer that phone.

It's not my phone. It's in your pocket.

Ain't no phone in...

There is a phone in my pocket.

A.J.'s phone. I never gave A.J. back his phone.

The phone's been going off the last couple of hours.

There's texts in here from Tasha, Bree, Colette.

First of all, A.J. is a "slore." I'm-a call Tasha right now.

No, that's gonna raise a red flag. See if she got a work number.

"Tasha work." Good thinking, James. I know.

I'm just telling you. You ain't gotta tell me.

I should. You did a good... Just call.

You know what your problem is? You think you're cute, but you're not.

You're ugly. And you got man hands.

Beach Kitten of South Beach, open seven days a week...

Blam-a-Iam-bam! Guess we're going to Tasha's job.

I took this from your car. I'm gonna go see my explosives guy.

Maybe he can tell us what kind of ordnance it was.

Damn, that's what left of your trunk. They got you good.

We're gonna need a new ride. I can help you with that.

I gotta tell Angela.

Don't tell her what we drivin'.

Feel like a dope dealer. - Stop it. This is the best car from the impound lot.

Hey, baby.

Guess what I call me and James? What?

Don't. The brothers-in-law!

I love it.

Don't say that no more.

So, Ben, I don't have to worry about not seeing you on Saturday, right?

I'll be home way before the wedding. You're finishing things up?

I just got a lead. We're about to crack this thing wide open.

Well, you do that. Everything's all right here. We've got it all covered.

"We"? Ange, is Cori over there?

Is that Ben? Let me talk to him. No, don't put her...

What kind of man leaves town a week before the wedding?

A detective man. You're not a detective.

I'm not gonna shout with you right now. Respect my choices, Cori.

You gotta earn respect from me. Why you gotta keep going off-menu?

Because your menu is dog shit!

Menu is not dog... Yes, it is, Ben.

That's why I put my Dreambook on Pinterest. Pinterest this! Bye!

Cori.

Cori?

I can't believe she just hung up on me.

You know your biggest problem?

Here we go. You don't know how to stay focused.

I'm going through a crisis, and it'd be real nice to get support from my brother.

You ain't got no brother.

What do you callthe guy that's about to marry your sister?

Not my brother. That would be incest, and that would be nasty.

You're twisting stuff. You twist things because you don't have the ability to love.

I'll prove it. Let me take the lead.

I'll show you I could be a detective. Hell no.

Tell me why. - This girl's probably not gonna wanna talk to us in public.

So it's not gonna be a good look if you get all screechy or accidentally shoot the girl.

Why can't you let the past be the past? You can't even handle Cori!

She's irrelevant right now. The girl is the devil's spawn with lady parts.

I'm taking the lead 'cause I'm the detective.

Fine. It's like I'm dealing with a child.

My God.

James, do you see this?

Yep.

It's like a Costco for supermodels. Look at this.

James. She's like a dolphin.

Hey, stay focused. I'm focused.

At the same time, I'm not.

Hello.

Can I help you?

Yep.

Where's Tasha? - Give me a second. I gotta get her from the back.

Tasha? Two police officers here to see you. Thanks Can I get anybody a bottled water? No, no. I'm fine. I'm about to get married.

I'm engaged right now, so...

Didn't nobody ask you that. I'm just letting her know.

You can't put a fish in the water if you don't want him to swim.

I don't know where he is, and if I did I wouldn't tell you.

You will if you wanna see him alive again.

A.J. is in way over his head and we just trying to help him.

Why should I believe you? I didn't come here to play with you.

You think I'm gonna give up my man? You're gonna give him up. Guaranteed.

Nope, I'm not. Stop. It's a little too much.

Tasha, James may not understand what you're saying, but I do.

You and A.J. obviously have a connection and you're trying to honor him right now.

Right, James?

My question to everyone standing here is, "Is he honoring you, Tasha?"

Because when I went through this phone here, I'm not gonna lie to you...

I was kinda thrown off by what was going on in the contact list.

Especially the favorites.

Because the first name I came across was Colette.

I said, "Who is Colette?" More importantly, "What's her ringtone?"

So I played it.

I don't know about you, but that throws me off 'cause it's hypersexual.

What's that relationship about? So I said, "Maybe that's the only one."

But then right underneath it, I see "Bree." Bree?

Yeah. Who is that? What's her ringtone? So I played it.

James, do you hear that? Let me see.

Yeah, he licking that up and down, no doubt. That's a little graphic.

It's true. Well... Disregard that.

So then I started thinking about you.

You're priority. At least I thought you were.

But then I see your name at the bottom of the list? "Maybe he saved best for last."

Then I played your ringtone, Tasha. This is where it got dark.

Tasha, that's a Apple chime.

That's a factory ringtone.

That cost absolutely nothing.

That's the guy that you wanna take up for?

Mr. Generic Ringtone For My Lady?

I'm just asking.

That is how you talk to a woman.

I got A.J.'s cell phone burner number just like that.

Okay. When did we start doing that?

Maya, what you got? - My guy Alonso's following a lead on the explosives.

It's definitely not from the States. We got a number on A.J.

No, Ben got a number on A.J.

His girl say he stole some money, but she didn't know from who.

Let me know when you find him. Champagne?

Hey. What are you doing?

Why is it so hard for you to say the word "we"?

What is wrong with you?

What's wrong with you? You...

Is that her number saved to your phone already?

With a smiley face next to it?

Let's go.

The smiley face with the tongue sticking out is what you're doing now?

You know why Tasha gave us the number? I got the human touch.

You just gotta be open.

And let me tell you, that is much more important than being focused.

Half a second. Listen. Here's what we're going to focus on from now on.

I'm gonna deal with all of the human parts, male or female.

You wanna deal with all the male human parts? That's not what I said.

That's exactly what you said. Don't twist my words.

Hello? Ben Barber speaking.

How'd you get this number?

A little something called platinum-level detectiveness.

Give me that phone. A.J.

Your girlfriend told us about the money you stole.

I didn't steal any money. Be open.

Turn yourself in, man. We need to keep you safe.

How do I know you weren't in on trying to kill me?

If I wanted to smoke you, you'd be dead already.

You got some major heat on you, the kind of heat that your skinny ass can't take.

I hang up, A.J., you dead in 24 hours.

Look around, man. We the only friends you got.

You know what? I'm sick of talking to your ass. Here.

Wait, wait, wait! Wait! Wait! Hello?

Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hello. Ben Barber back on the phone.

I'll text you a time and location. Just you, or I bolt.

What was that? It worked, didn't it?

This nerd steals my money, exposes my operation, and he's still walking the streets?

I put my best guys on him. You'd better.

The livelihood of merchants across the globe depend on it.

I get it. I don't think you do.

My pipeline is opening. We are exposed.

Kill him. Yes, sir.

And what about the payment? Did it get through, or did that get stolen too?

Receipt confirmed by the new commissioner. Look at that.

One thing done right. Things are looking up.

Now get out of here. I'm late.

Here it is.

Remember what I told you. Yeah.

One eye on him and one eye out.

I can't do it. Show me how.

Man, you not a lizard. Just scan.

Well, you have to say that.

Get out. Okay.

I'll be listening. All right.

I'm walking on the damn beach.

Listen, A.J., I don't have time to play games with you.

Where are you? Slow your roll, son. It's not that easy.

We gotta make sure we're clear. Watch your tone.

I didn't come out here to be sassed by you. Okay, walk to the booth.

What booth? Where?

The other way. Turn around.

This booth? Yeah, that booth right there.

Okay, I'm walking. Going to the booth.

Now what? I'm here. Okay, I want you to pick up a can.

I got it. Now put it back down.

A.J., what are we doing right now?

I'm seeing if you're being followed.

Then say that. That makes sense. Say that.

Just walk. All right, walking.

Stop. Remove your shirt.

Why am I removing my shirt? To make sure you're not wired.

See that? There's no wire.

You are shredded. Abs of steel.

Stop playing games. Okay, walk to the trash can.

To the trash can? Going.

All right.

Now what? - Now reach into the trash can and take out whatever's on top.

Is he digging in the trash?

I got it.

Okay, open the contents and tell me what it is.

It's, just some half-eaten nachos with sauce and guacamole and hair all in it.

Good. That's perfect.

Eat it.

I'm sorry. What?

Eat... it. I'm not eat... No! I'm not eating this.

Do it, or I walk. You better not eat that.

That's just nasty.

That was sick. I can't believe you actually did that.

That shit was gross.

Get your ass out here right now.

A.J., you got two seconds to get out here before you go to jail.

We gotta get out of here. This is not the place for this.

Then why would you ask me to meet you out here? - I didn't think it through.

A.J. A.J.

Hey, A.J., somebody is trying to kill all of us.

They blew up my car looking for you, so you need to come clean and tell us who it is.

I already told you everything.

We got company.

Get down! Shit!

What are you doing? I'm about to start shooting!

You ain't never shot out of a moving car!

You gonna drive or you gonna shoot, James? Pick one!

Shit!

Switch!

I'm going over. Hurry!

You guys are gonna do that now?

Stop! Get your ass off of me!

James, you didn't move!

I got it! I got it!

My God!

Why you got the damn seat so far back, James?

Front! James!

All right. Don't head straight at 'em! Not right now, James.

I'm getting in my mode. What mode?

What the hell are you doing? Ben!

Fuck!

Get back!

They're coming back!

I got it.

Hold on!

What the hell was that? What?

That's called driving!

Where you learn how to drive, man?

James, just get off my back and let me do me.

Bust a "U"! Hold on!

Lose them! - I'm driving. I don't need that type of pressure.

Let me out of here! Worried about what I'm doing?

How about you shoot somebody?

Lean back!

Don't shoot across my face like that!

Are you signaling?

I'm sorry. It's a habit.

He's making a right. This is too easy!

He told you not to do that! Listen, I got a plan.

Well, execute the goddamn plan!

Here we go!

He's making another right. Everybody hold on.

Shit! He went left!

Yeah! I'm Ben Barber, bitch!

Game over.

Get your ass out. Come on, dude!

Let me go. You guys are nuts.

Where the hell are we? Safe house.

We staying here till we find out who we can trust.

Really, fellas? Whose house is this?

Alonso's. My explosives guy.

He's out on a case.

Who the hell is she?

I'm Miami Homicide.

James, if you give me to the cops, I will be hanging from a bedsheet.

You think I give a damn, A.J.?

Who did you steal from, and who's shooting at us?

I ain't telling you shit.

Is that right?

Pope! Antonio Pope!

A-N-T-O-N-I-O! Antonio Pope?

That's bullshit. It's not bullshit, all right?

Everyone thinks Pope is this legit businessman, but he's so not.

He is a huge criminal, into everything.

Drugs, guns.

So Troy must be his Atlanta boy.

Yes!

That's a big operation. Catching Pope would get us Troy for sure.

To sum up, I'm his cyber dark arts guy.

I hack into his competition. I install his systems.

I launder his money.

You just admitted to about four or five crimes right there.

That's Fifth Amendment. A couple of days ago, I may have taken some money from his account and put it into mine.

You "may have"? I didn't think he'd notice.

Apparently, he did. Maya, what the hell is that...

Drop your gun, man!

Put it down! Drop it!

Hold on!

A.J., stop screaming! I'll shoot your face!

This is Alonso, my explosives guy. Put it down, now!

Alonso, holster your weapon. They're cops. You better drop it!

Put your gun away. Put it down, Castro!

Drop it!

It's down, okay? You put it down. Ben, we're good.

All right.

What the hell?

Again?

You've done this before? I don't know what to tell you.

I'm on edge. We're cop killers!

My nerves is bad, man!

I told you to focus!

You think I meant to do it? I thought he shot.

You didn't shoot, so I shot!

Oh, my God! He a zombie!

Head shot!

Hold up! Hold up! Hold up!

It's a vest!

Idiots.

It's a vest.

That's why I need a vest, James. Accidents like this.

Who are these two fools, and what are they doing in my house?

They're the officers from Atlanta. It was their car that exploded.

Hey, man. I'm Ben Barber. I apologize.

Hey, man. Cállate la boca. What?

Or I reach into your chest and snatch out your midget heart.

Okay. I came over here to apologize.

You shot me. Well, I take it back.

Take the sorry with you and leave. Fine!

Can we just stay focused? Did you find anything out?

The explosive from the car and the detonator are both rare.

Eastern European, actually. It's freaking Pope!

Can you stop with that? Hold on, Maya. He could be telling the truth.

It would take someone with serious reach to locate that kind of untraceable device.

You're gonna help me get some hard evidence on him.

Pope ain't gonna stop shooting at your ass, so we the only choice you got.

You set up his computer, right?

So, can you get us into it?

Someone would need to get to his home computer and download the shipping manifests.

Well, Pope's having a party at his mansion tonight.

Security's gonna be tight.

There's gonna be a lot of foreign dignitaries there. - No problem.

We're gonna get in there undetected.

He's gonna let us know where the computer is and he gonna talk us through.

How do we get in undetected?

Name?

My name.

My name.

Prince Admiral Steven Matumbe.

Nigerian consul.

Plus two. My two servants.

I don't have you on the list.

Then check the VIP list. And do not look me in my eye.

Don't look at me.

You look at the pad. You read the names.

You look at me, and you close your eyes.

Look at me. Don't look at me.

Look at me! That was a test.

You failed. You... aren't on it.

All right. Stall him, guys.

A.J.'s on it. Step aside, por favor.

Wait!

This is all your fault.

You know I do what I am supposed to do.

I clothe you, I feed you, and yet your incompetence infuriates me.

Sir.

I'm your bodyguard, not your servant.

You are what I say you are!

God.

Sorry, sir.

You got a fly on your face.

Traditional. A sign of respect.

Okay, try it now. Check the list one more time.

There it is.

Sorry about that. Head right in.

I will go.

No, no, no! Release me!

This way. Where are we? I cannot feel my face.

And you're welcome.

Hello.

Remember, we're on the defense.

A.J. is on the earpiece. All you gotta do is download the file.

You trust him to do this?

Of course not.

Do we have a choice?

First of all, Ben can hear you.

James, look at that. They got a Baccarat diamond dolphin.

Yeah, he probably got a Gucci toilet too.

Do I look like I care? Stay on point. Just walk.

If he got a Gucci toilet, I'm sitting on it.

There he is. A.J., can you hear us?

Hey, is this a passed app event? 'Cause I'd love a wonton or two.

It's not racist if I say it. Where are we going?

First, you have to get to the north hallway.

It leads to the other wing of the house.

I'm gonna create a distraction.

You guys, act casual until you see an opening.

What you doing? Put your hands down.

I'm waving.

Law enforcement is always welcome at my functions.

So, Mr. Pope, do you dance?

Do I dance?

You're in for a treat.


Are you dancing? Yes.

Well, stop.

Okay, it worked.

Let's get busy.

He's really good though.

I'm not sure... Let's go.

Okay, Ben, go up the first set of stairs.

Roger that. And proceed to the end of the hallway.

All right, James. It's stealth mode time.

Do you even know what "stealth mode" mean?

Yes, it's from Assassin's Creed. It means be undetectable.

The double doors to his office are on the left.

Okay. Tell me when you're there.

All right, A.J. This must be it here.

It's locked, A.J. Okay, you know what?

Guest bathroom is down the hallway. We'll get in from there.

Okay.

Go, go, go. I got this.

Hey, man. Did you see her?

See who?

I think she went down there. She said she was gonna have my baby.

No, man, you can't be up...

Get downstairs. Use the bathroom downstairs. Get down there.

Okay, I need you to go over to the window and open it.

Okay, I see it. I see it. I see it.

Okay.

All right, it's open. Climb out.

I'm sorry. What?

You heard me. I said climb out.

A.J., I'm two stories up.

Look, we're here now, so own it.

Nobody say nothing to me about getting out of no window two stories up.

Ben, get on that damn ledge. I'm two stories up, James!

You heard me. Get on that ledge now.

They got a Gucci toilet, James.

Come on, Ben.

Okay.

Okay.

Hey, guys? I'm in-between two lamps and a hard place.

I'm just gonna try to reach for it.

Okay? No, no! Guys! Lost balance!

God!

Stupid.

Excuse me, sir.

Can I offer you a lamb burger? Stop! James!

Get back! Get back!

Lamb burger? Yeah.

I ain't never had one of them. Let me see.

Help!

My God!

Got a Spanish kick to it. What kind of cheese is that? - Manchego cheese.

Manchego?

Leave me alone! Nah, this is...

Help! You didn't cook these, did you?

Get your ass back!

Ben, what's going on?

Get back! Gator got my foot!

Get off! Get off my ankle!

Leave me alone!

I don't wanna die like this!

I don't care! You can keep it!

Ben, you okay?

Are you okay? Confirm.

Shut the hell up, A.J.!

You couldn't tell me that he had a alligator? I dropped the ball on that.

I won't lie to you. A alligator!

Did Marcus bite you? Can I offer you a drink?

No.

Wait. Maya, I need more time!

A gator got my shoe.

Yes, I-I would actually love to have a drink.

Fantastic.

Do you like tequila?

Yeah.

All right. What's going on?

Hold on, James.

Okay.

Okay, A.J., I'm headed in the office right now.

Wait, wait! - What? What? What? He got a alligator in here?

No. It's gator-free from here on out.

There's an audio alarm system. When were you gonna tell me that?

You don't think that's need-to-know information? No one's perfect.

Just get to the desk quietly.

Stop playing. This is serious.

Okay. Going to the desk now.

He got a black panther!

Jesus!

Quietly, Ben!

The alarm system is picking up some audio in Pope's office.

Check it out. Copy.

James? Ben set off the alarm.

You're gonna have to run interference. East hallway.

He's traveling towards you. Okay.

Okay.

Got hydrangeas.

He's got hydrangeas.

Sorry.

Okay, A.J. I'm at the computer. Guide me through it.

There's a seven-digit code that he inputted himself, so I don't know it.

But I use my own personal code on there as well

'cause, you know, why not?

You really are a criminal, aren't you, A.J.?

What's the code? Open bracket-O...

Close bracket-space... open bracket-O-close bracket.

Wait a minute. Wait. Are they...

Titties, yep.

What now, A.J.? - Plug in that flash drive and open the file on it.

All right, I got it. The rest takes care of itself.

Thank you, my darling.

My pleasure.

So tell me about this tequila. Is it rare?

One of the rarest on the market. Impossible to purchase.

Salud.

Moments away, guys.

Look, you guys need to hurry up.

I ain't gonna keep knocking people out all night.

Okay, it's done. Did you know...

Maya, let's roll.

I gotta go.

Thank you. Okay. My hand.

I gotta... I gotta go. High five.

Here you go.

This has got to be one of the worst goddamn days.

Alligators, hydrangeas, swords all over the place.

Where your shoe?

It's a long story, James.

The man got a damn alligator.

You look silly!

You know what?

This look better, James?

Is that better now?

Hey, guys, did you get it?

Yes. I'm a professional!

Okay, we gotta go.

Officers.

Interesting look. Interesting home.

In my country... Cut the act.

Yes. The party is this way.

I insist. Okay.

Have a drink.

Rémy? Dom?

I got this shit from Peru.

Illegal in the States, but, it can keep you up all night.

If you know what I mean.

No. We're not thirsty.

I'm not thirsty.

Look at that. Class is still in session.

When are you going to let Ben make his own mistakes, James?

Yes, that's right. I know your names.

Does that surprise you?

Perhaps the bigger question is, why are the Atlanta police crashing my party?

Well, we thought that you might have a problem with theft.

Now that you mention it, I did have an embezzlement issue this week.

Don't remember reporting it though.

I'm guessing that you found the culprit.

You douche bag.

I think you know who took from me. And if I don't get some answers soon, a few of my city official friends in Atlanta won't be too happy to learn that one of their benefactors is being harassed.

In his own home, no less.

You gonna snitch on us? Do you think we care?

It is true that one of you might just receive a reprimand.

But what if one of you is still on his probationary period?

That particular officer, he could be eliminated... just like that.

Wait, wait, wait. I don't think we need to ruin anybody's careers here.

Especially with the unemployment rate being so high amongst blacks now.

Tranquilo. I'm sorry, what?

Listen, all I know is that I'm a victim of a hacker who stole from me.

I don't even want to have him arrested.

I want to figure out how he got in so I can prevent it from happening again.

I'm worried that my charities are vulnerable.

So, if you are not here to help, why did you come?

I heard you had a Gucci toilet.

I think we're done here. My men will show you out.

And the next time you want to come to one of my parties, just ask.

Your parties suck.

What went wrong?

Now I'm feeding these people sliders and having conversations I don't want to be having?

Take it easy. I'm not going to shoot you. This is just a prop to make my point.

We are multinational now. Any mistakes will be way too costly?

No more annoying conversations.

No more excuses.

Just get the job done.

Sorry, Antonio.

Definitely kill them. I just don't want to get blood on my pants.

Okay, I found a discussion he tried to erase on his big solar project.

Looks like Pope orders his guy to delete certain shipments from the manifest.

But he specifically tells that guy to leave other shipments alone.

Why would he wanna hide shipments of solar panels?

Because it's not solar panels.

Well, he's got one of them hidden shipments arriving tomorrow.

We need to find out what's in that shipment.

Wait. Does that mean what I think it means?

We are on a stakeout!

Longtime dream achievement unlocked.

I think I really proved myself this trip.

I guarantee you, that truck will be full of drugs. All right, man, slow down.

If the port commissioner wasn't cooperating, it could be a problem.

One to kill for.

He tried to cooperate, but Pope still killed him anyway.

How do you know that? I was there, on Pope's yacht.

I told you to tell me everything you know. Why you didn't tell me everything you knew?

I didn't see anything. I was listening in on his phone.

Then shut up with all that hearsay. It's not admissible in court.

Star Wars, the original trilogy. Name 'em and rank 'em. Let's go.

Episode V: Empire Strikes Back. Episode IV: New Hope.

Episode VI, Jedi. Boom.

Empire Strikes Back? What?

Return of the Jedi. Jedi! My God. Those Ewoks?

The Ewoks are what made Star Wars.

They're so annoying. No, no.

James. James. Maya. Maya.

James, real quick. Maya.

James... Maya. James... Maya.

You could be a shark or a eagle, which would you be?

Shark! You got so many disadvantages being a shark.

If you're an eagle, you're flying!

I saw a eagle take this lady baby one time. No!

Biggie Smalls. Is he slightly overrated?

He's no Sir Mix-A-Lot. What?

Maya? Maya? Maya?

Maya? James?

James? Shut up!

Damn.

They got some nerve.

He never stops talking. He's got to be able to breathe.

Yep. Trust me, I know.

Nine out of 10 things out that dude mouth is either crazy, irrational or silly.

But that 10th thing...

10th thing goes beyond crazy, you know, into a, like, accidental genius realm.

I'm gonna ask you something.

If you really feel that way, why are you so tough on that guy?

All he wants is to be a detective.

He's setting hisself up for a disappointment when we get back, so...

Trucks!

James! I see the trucks!

The trucks are coming. Look! Give it to me.

A.J., get ready to check the container numbers against the port's manifest.

Copy that.

Where are we going? Where are we going?

This the one right here. What's the number?

4552345B.

That number does not exist. It's a ghost.

Jackpot.

There you go. Copy that.

We're heading west on Port Bridge.

Bring all units on outbound lanes and set up a blockade at Biscayne.

This is MDPD Air One. En route following westbound 886.

Okay. Here we go.

Hands! Hands up! Get your hands up!

Get them hands up! Put your hands up!

Ben, get the door.

Out the cab, Slim!

Hurry up! Turn around!

You know who this truck belong to? Yeah, it belong to me.

Us. It's our first bust. As the brothers-in-law.

Get to the back. Right. I'm on it.

Open it up!

All right, Ben? Let me know what we got, partner!

Is it my birthday?

No! Okay, it must be Christmas!

What we got?

Department's about to get sued for harassment.

And I get to explain to the new port commissioner why we've made a mess of his front yard!

We had good intel. It was an unregistered, off-the-books shipment.

It was a clerical error.

I really don't understand what I gotta do to get off whatever shit list I seem to be on here.

Mr. Pope, let me apologize. See, I don't get it.

I've tried to be nice. I've tried to be cool.

Did I press charges when you three crashed my party? No.

But now... See, now I'm pissed.

I have a reputation to protect.

This is gonna come out weird, but I'm really, really rich.

I mean, I make sick money. And do you know what that money buys me?

Access.

So, you can imagine that I have already begun to make calls up the chain of command.

So, James, it looks to me like your training day is officially over.

But, hey, good luck on your future careers, or... whatever.

Captain! Can I have a word?

You, come with me. You can help me explain this mess to the new commissioner.

Shit.

Ouch. That went really badly.

It's kind of hard to think of any outcome that's gonna be worse than that, right there.

It's about to get worse.

Hello? Milk run?

I'm gonna assume you've been chewed out already, so I'm gonna save my voice.

James, we're talking about a lengthy suspension.

Ben, you're still probationary, so there's really no choice.

Wait, Lieutenant Brooks. Now, hold on now.

There'll be a hearing, but it's just a formality. You're done as a cop, Ben.

Like "done" done?

Lieutenant, you don't wanna hear my side of the story?

No! Just get your asses back here!

Please don't do this. You did this!

You and James. Lieutenant. Lieut...

Here, man.

What the hell did we miss?

I know that shipment ain't nothing but a front to move coke.

Yeah, but the containers was empty, James.

Maybe the container was made of coke.

I'll put a pin in that. I gotta use the bathroom so bad.

This is Ange.

Hey, what's up, babe? Ben, I need you here now.

Angela? Cori is driving me crazy.

You said two days. I know.

I'm marrying someone on Saturday.

I'd prefer it to be you. The whole thing just went pear-shaped.

We took a swing and we missed bad, Ange. We missed real bad.

I am so sorry.

But no matter how bad it went, I still have faith in you.

I appreciate that, babe, but you got...

And I always will. We can get through anything together.

I just want you to know that I love you. I love you so much.

Love you.

I was about to tell her I lost my job, but I started thinking, "No, just wait till you get home because..."

Hey, guys. I was just thinking about the port commissioner's replacement.

It's weird how he showed up on the bridge right after Pope.

So? You don't kill the port commissioner if you don't control the replacement.

Makes sense. That makes a lot of sense.

Jukebox is ready. Got that Taylor Swift song you wanted, player.

Look, if Nuñez is in on it, that means Pope is moving contraband through the port.

Nuñez? Charlie Nuñez?

That was one of the names on Pope's payroll report on his computer.

Was that important? Asshole played us.

He planted the info on his computer, let us find that container, got us to prove his innocence so that the other containers could skate through.

Son of a bitch. When is the next shipment, A.J.?

One every morning this week.

We gotta hit him in the morning then. Let's do it!

Let's do it! Let's go.

I should have put that together. Let me talk to you.

James? Look, I knew about the containers.

But my thing is, I didn't think further than that.

That's where I went wrong. Ben, I just want to...

You don't have to say it. I already know what you're gonna say.

Listen, man, I just brought you over here to tell you you're not going.

What are you talking about? I am going.

No, you're not. Yes, I am, James.

No, you're not! You just got kicked off the force.

James, I've been out here putting my life on the line to prove to you that I can be a detective.

I don't know what your real problem is, James, but this is what I wanna...

Listen! You getting married to my sister.

This thing goes wrong, you can end up in jail.

Or worse.

You can end up dead.

I'm sorry, Ben, but this is for your own good.

They're not gonna let us within a mile of the port.

We gotta take a boat and head north. You got a boat?

James! Hey, stop! James!

I'll tell you how it goes. What... A.J. A.J.

A.J. A.J. A.J.! A.J.!

Look, our best bet is to take a boat across the bay at dawn.

So your captain just lets you take out cars and boats whenever you want to?

I don't know. I don't ask him.

Come on.

Hey, don't shoot me, man!

Ain't nobody gonna shoot you. Show me your hands.

Stop it! Come on, get up! I need your help.

For what?


All right, A.J. When we get up here, I need you to hide.

Okay.

What do you wanna do? Slice his hamstrings, take him down?

That's a bit aggressive.

I think there's a different way we could do this.

Hey, do you know where South Beach is? 'Cause my GPS ain't working worth a d...

That is pretty impressive.

Wanna give it a try? Can I get him under here?

Now twist.

Right? Yeah. You know, I gotta do this on Ben.

Let me show you how we do it in the "A" though.

Yeah. Well, that works too.

We got him. Send a car over to pick up Pope's ass.

I'm already here. Freeze!

As a matter of fact, I'm everywhere.

Psst. God!

You scared the shit out of me. How'd you get out of...

Don't worry about it. Where's James and Maya at?

Checking a container somewhere over there.

The container yard. This is classic boss level.

Something always goes down in the container yard.

And it's not just cocaine. I'm opening a contraband superhighway.

Guns, drugs, freaking whale meat. Whatever.

I think there's even a pygmy giraffe in one of these.

Fun. I had to come down to see it for myself.

And look what I find.

Shit. Pope's got 'em.

You stay here. I got an idea.

You look discouraged. I feel bad for you guys.

It's like when my nephew loses a soccer game.

I wanna give you a hug and a Capri Sun.

But I feel worse for these guys.

They have to kill two rogue cops who they mistook for terrorists.

Uncool. They have to live with that.

I have a better idea.

How 'bout having a professional take care of it?

Ben Barber, bitches!

Hold up, James! I got it! Yeah!

Did I do that?

Shit!

Shit!

Backup! I need backup!

Help! Help!

Hey! Hurt Locker! God!


Maya, down!

You're welcome. Let's go.

You have been a real nuisance.

I swear, I'm a double-secret spy.

I volunteered to infiltrate myself in the group.

Shit.

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I won't do it again!

Look!

Here we go!

Shit!

Come on, Ben!

I got you now.

Take this, Pope!

All right, Pope! It's over!

Let me see them hands! Out the cab, now!

Get out, Pope! Out the cab...

It's clear! Oye, chicos.

Are you looking for something?

Put the gun down, please.

Put down your weapons now.

Now, this is the part where I needlessly tell you that you are going to die.

Blah, blah, blah.

But of course, you already know that.

So, which one of you would like to go first?

James, let's start with you.

Ben! Why'd you do that, man?

You're always trying some Assassin's Creed, Call of Duty stuff.

Got on a vest. You got on a vest?

See that? We protect each other, James.

I don't know about that. Technically, you got a vest on.

I definitely saved your life, man. Don't go too far now.

He could've shot me in the damn head. He didn't.

Maya, did I save his life?

Maybe a little. Thank you.

James!

It's clear!

You know what? You might have saved my life that time.

I'm telling Angela. Come on, walk it off.

I can't walk. Rub some dirt on it.

Don't put no dirt on no bullet holes.

Hey, man, we the brothers-in-law! Not anymore.

Offer is off the table.

No brother-in-law of mine would do that to me.

You tried to kill me.

You took down a drug dealer and a crooked politician in three days. I'm impressed.

I know. That's how we do it in Atlanta, Cap.

It's a pleasure. Thanks, Captain.

Thanks for everything, Cap. Good luck, guys.

Okay, we got eight hours to make it back.

The only way we're gonna make it back is by plane.

Do I look like a bird? Stop, I'm serious.

That's the only way we're going to make it back. - I don't fly.

This is my wedding, James. Hey!

After all that, you guys were gonna leave without saying anything?

We was actually trying to figure out how we was gonna get back.

Figured that. So I got you something.

It's one of Pope's cars. My God!

Let me have it. James. It's nice.

Bring it back with no bullet holes. Man!

James! You gotta make her your "plus-one," James!

Ask her how to open it. I don't see the handle.

You've got to let me drive this! Whoo!

So... Sure.

You were inviting me to the wedding, right?

I guess so. I answered too quick, didn't I?

When I said "Sure"? It's okay.

I was waiting for you to... But I thought that you...

Sorry.

See you later.

James. What?

How do I... Hey, I gotta drive this. You don't need to open it.

No, I'm gonna drive. Give me the key.

Don't play with me. I'm-a drive this time.

Give me that damn key. James, I'm not gonna do this.

Are you serious right now? Give me the damn key!

Get off! Maya, call the cops!

James, you better wait. Wait till I get in.

Maya, this is great! Hey, I'll see you at the wedding!

Here I come, Angela!

Yeah!

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Black Hammer.

Black Hammer!

James, come here.

I'm your brother-in-law.

I did it!

I love you. I love you.

Hey, Cori, I just wanted to say thank you.

You did a really amazing job. I did a what?

You did an amazing job. You don't have to tell me that.

The fact that you think I couldn't do it makes me want to hit you in your sack.

What? But you know what? It's your day. Enjoy it.

Working it...

We're low on run. We should go on a rum.

What are you doing? I didn't invite you, man. Okay, I'll get it myself.

Happy Kwanzaa, Ben. Sorry for your loss.

AssFace, let me borrow your keys! It's a wedding, A.J. Ain't nobody die.

Thank you, babe.

Stop, guys.

Look, I should have told you earlier, but I didn't.

I'm glad you decided to finally join us.

You look really nice today. Like, handsome.

Ben. No, it's okay.

It's a compliment. Just take it. Not really a compliment.

You need to accept it because you're not gonna get many from him.

About to get on the boat and drive off with my wife.

You wanna say anything nice to me, this would be the time.

Bye. You wanna say something?

Good-bye. James wants to make a toast! Go ahead!

Toast! Toast! You said it.

Toast! Toast! Toast! Toast!

Come on, big guy. Toast. Toast.

To Ben. You've set me on fire, stabbed me... You stabbed him?

It was a accident. Got two of my cars blown up.

And almost got me killed more times than I can count.

Now, usually, I'd toss him off the dock, but in this case...

I can't do that.

'Cause, dude, you saved my life, made my sister happier than I've ever seen her.

Don't you do this to me, James. Not here. And in a crazy kinda way... made me a better person and a better cop.

Fight it, Ben. To my brother-in-law.

Family.

You finally said "family," James.

To Ben and Angela. Ben and Angela!

You are something else, buddy. Come on, Ange.

You ready? Yes!

You hear that? I hear it.

It's like a Le Tigre. That's French for "puma."

It's not actually.

Just go with the moment. People back there want a show. Let's give 'em one.

Baby, you know what I want? What?

The Black Hammer. - Then we need to get this boat out of here then.

Bye!

Ben, I like this.

Before we go, let's loop back around one more time.

I'm-a show 'em what we capable of, baby! Slow down a little bit.

You ain't got nothing to worry about! You with the Black Hammer!

There's a boat right in front of us. I know how to drive this boat!

That's the first thing they teach you.

Ben, hold on! Hold on!

Angela! Stop the boat!

Ben, how do I stop this thing?

Angela! What?

This marriage will never last. Let's just pray for him.

Can he swim? I hope not.

Stop the boat!

James! Welcome to the family, brother-in-law!

Angela! Are you trying to kill me?

Dodge the buoys!