Ring by Spring (2014) Script

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"...THY LIPS ARE WARM"

"LEAD, BOY, WHICH WAY?"

"YEA, NOISE? THEN I'LL BE BRIEF.

"O HAPPY DAGGER!

"THIS IS THY SHEATH

"THERE RUST, AND LET ME... DIE."

IS SHE READY?

I DON'T KNOW, SHE'S IN THERE READING.

WELL, WE'VE GOT TO GET TO THE CAMPGROUND.

I KNOW. I'LL GET HER.

COME ON, CARYN.

WE GOTTA GO.

YOU'RE NOT EVEN DRESSED.

SURE I AM.

WHERE IS YOUR COAT?

YOUR HAT? YOUR GLOVES?

CHILL, MOM.

HOW DO YOU EVEN FIND ANYTHING IN THIS MESS?

BECAUSE I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE EVERYTHING IS.

IT'S TOTAL CHAOS.

NOT UP HERE IT ISN'T.

PICK UP YOUR DAD'S BACKPACK?

HOW ARE YOU ENJOYING "ROMEO AND JULIET"?

IT'S LAME.

LAME!? I LOVE "ROMEO AND JULIET!"

I DON'T SEE WHY.

SHE MARRIES THE GUY, LIKE, THE DAY AFTER SHE MEETS HIM.

WELL, SHE IS ONLY 13.

I KNOW, RIGHT?

SHE HAS HER WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF HER, WHICH SHE TOTALLY JUST THROWS AWAY FOR LOVE.

WHAT'S THE BIG HURRY?

WHAT'S WHOSE HURRY?

CARYN'S READING "ROMEO AND JULIET."

WELL, THAT'S GREAT!

GIRLS LOVE THAT PLAY.

I DON'T. CARYN DOESN'T.

WELL, WHY NOT?

I MEAN, IT'S SO ROMANTIC.

WOULD YOU THROW YOUR LIFE AWAY FOR LOVE?

IN A HEARTBEAT.

EW!

PETER...

LET'S GO!

IT MAKES NO SENSE...

HER WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF HER, AND SHE JUST THREW IT ALL AWAY FOR LOVE?

WHAT'S ROMANTIC ABOUT THAT?


HI!

HOW ARE YOU?

HELLO.

HI THERE!

YOU TOO!

OH, WOW.

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.

SHE'S GORGEOUS.

AND HEY, FIRST DATE NIGHT WITHOUT HER.

BET YOU'RE CHECKING YOUR PHONE EVERY FIVE MINUTES.

STEPHANIE!

COME HERE!

OH, HI. HI. UH...

EXCUSE ME.

SORRY.

[WHISPERING ARE YOU SERIOUS?

CARYN! HI.

THANKS FOR BAILING ME OUT.

NOT A PROBLEM.

THEY CORNERED ME IN THE SUPERMARKET LAST WEEKEND, MY ICE CREAM NEARLY MELTED.

THEY HAVE A LOT OF BABY PICTURES.

WELL, I CAN SEE WHY. IT IS A VERY CUTE BABY.

AND YOURS AND AUSTIN'S WILL BE, TOO, WHEN THE TIME COMES.

IF THE TIME COMES.

STOP IT. IT WILL.

TWO WHITE WINES, PLEASE?

IS BRYCE HERE?

NO, HE WENT UP NORTH TO SPEND THANKSGIVING WITH HIS BROTHER, GRADY.

WASN'T HE JUST UP THERE OVER LABOR DAY?

YUP.

DID HE ASK YOU TO GO WITH HIM?

NOPE.

DOESN'T THAT BOTHER YOU?

THAT YOU'VE NEVER MET HIS FAMILY?

NOT AS MUCH AS IT SEEMS TO BOTHER YOU, SINCE YOU ALWAYS BRING IT UP.

I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE YOU FROM ACROSS THE ROOM.

YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL.

CAREFUL, PAL, SHE'S A MARRIED WOMAN.

I THANK MY LUCKY STARS FOR THAT EVERY DAY.

COPY THAT.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, GREGG?

FANTASY LAND, GREGG-STYLE.

CHECK IT OUT.

IT'S THE FINEST PRIVATE COLLECTION OF VINYL IN THE TRI-STATE AREA.

LOOK AT THIS, ISN'T IT MAGNIFICENT?

GREGG WANTS TO BUY THIS FOR HIS STORE, BUT APPARENTLY, IT'S NOT HAPPENING.

EVERY VINTAGE RECORD STORE IN THE WORLD HAS BEEN TRYING TO GET AHOLD OF THE OWNER.

I'VE EMAILED HIM, WRITTEN HIM OVER A DOZEN TIMES.

WELL, MAYBE HE'LL COME AROUND.

WHY DON'T WE FIND OUT?

HMM?

A FORTUNE TELLER? SERIOUSLY?

COME ON, IT'S FOR CHARITY.

I'M PAYING.

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE FUTURE.

MADAME RUE, I HAVE A CUSTOMER FOR YOU.

GOOD!

YES, HERE WE GO, BUDDY.

THAT WILL BE $10.

OKAY.

HERE YOU GO.

AH, THANK YOU.

NOW... GIVE ME YOUR HANDS.

THIS IS WORTH 10 BUCKS.

THIS IS KIND OF AWKWARD...

YOU...

WILL NEED A BIGGER BOAT.

WHAT?

THAT'S A LINE FROM "JAWS."

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

IT'S A METAPHOR.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR BUSINESS.

THAT'S IT?

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FOR $10?

A READING?

AND YOU...

YOU SHOULD ENJOY THAT DRINK WHILE YOU CAN.

EXCUSE ME?

I REALIZE IT IS NOT ON EVERYONE'S FAVORITE LIST, BUT RUE WOULD BE A WONDERFUL NAME FOR A BOY.

OR A GIRL.

THAT...

IS WHAT YOU CALL A "FREEBIE."

OKAY THEN, WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET BACK TO THE PARTY.

AND YOU, PRETTY GIRL?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW YOUR FUTURE?

I'M GOOD.

NO...

NO, LET'S HEAR WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY.

MY TREAT.

OKAY.

COME HERE.

GIVE ME YOUR HANDS.

YOU WILL RECEIVE A RING BY SPRING...

OR YOU WILL NEVER MARRY.


WOW.

HI! EXCUSE ME?

EXCUSE ME!

HELLO!

HI THERE!

HI!

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!

HELLO!

I'M LOOKING FOR MR. HALSEY'S OFFICE?

CAN I HELP YOU?

HI! YES!

I'M LOOKING FOR MR. HALSEY?

DO YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS?

EXISTENTIALLY, NO.

THREE-DIMENSIONALLY, HE'S ON THIS LIFT, TALKING TO YOU.

HI. MR. HALSEY, I'M--

CARYN BRIGGS, "IN THE DETAILS CONSULTING?"

RIGHT.

NOW, DO YOU PREFER "MS. BRIGGS" OR "CARYN"?

"CARYN." PLEASE.

THAT IS GOOD BECAUSE I HATE "MR. HALSEY."

HI. I'M TOM.

C.E.O. OF THIS MADHOUSE.

BUT DON'T SPREAD THAT AROUND.

OKAY.

UH, FOLLOW ME.

I'LL GIVE YOU A TOUR OF THE ASYLUM.

GREAT.

SO, I STARTED POST-GRAD WHEN I GRADUATED COLLEGE, AND I WAS LOOKING FOR A WAY TO BANKROLL BUSINESS SCHOOL, WHEN I NOTICED A LOT OF STUDENTS WERE LITERALLY THROWING ALL THIS STUFF AWAY.

TEXTBOOKS, FURNITURE, LAST YEAR'S COMPUTER, YOU NAME IT.

SO I CUT A DEAL WITH THE SCHOOL TO SCAVENGE WHAT I COULD, AND I PUT IT ONLINE FOR SALE, AND BOOM, I WAS UP AND RUNNING.

WELL, IT HAS BEEN QUITE A RUN.

YEAH. 'CAUSE I REALIZED EARLY ON THERE'S, LIKE, 4,000 COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES IN THIS COUNTRY.

4,146, TO BE EXACT.

WOW. YOU DID YOUR HOMEWORK.

LIKE MY BUSINESS NAME SAYS, "IT'S IN THE DETAILS."

WELL, I CONTACTED ALL OF THEM, AND SOON, I WAS THE GO-TO GUY, SO I STOPPED SCAVENGING AND I STARTED BROKERING.

DID YOU WANT SOME?

I WAS WONDERING WHEN YOU WERE GONNA SEE THE GREEDY LOOK IN MY EYE.

THEY'RE MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE.

RIGHT?

NUTS, CARAMEL CORN, PRIZES.

IT'S GENIUS.

THANKS.

WE RUN EVERYTHING OUT OF HERE.

ENTIRELY WEB-BASED.

IT'S A 24/7 OPERATION.

WELL, I'M NOT SURPRISED.

P.G.S. IS THE GO-TO BRAND.

YEAH, I WAS FIRST IN. I GOT LUCKY.

MAYBE, BUT YOU'RE ALSO A FAIR DEALER WITH A MONEY-BACK NO-QUESTIONS-ASKED POLICY YOU TOTALLY STAND BEHIND.

YOU HAVE BEEN DOING YOUR RESEARCH.

FIRSTHAND. I WAS A CUSTOMER.

A HIGHLY SATISFIED ONE.

HUH. I'M SURPRISED THEY MISSED YOUR NAME IN THE DATABASE.

DO YOU HAVE THOSE PURCHASE ORDERS?

OH. YEAH.

THANKS, URSULA.

YEAH.

BUT BUSINESS HAS LEVELED OUT OVER THE LAST 18 MONTHS, AND I NEED TO KNOW WHY.

WELL, THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.

THIS IS YOU.

THIS IS ME?

YEAH.

THIS, AND THE--

OH, SORRY.

--THE BOXES IN THIS ROOM.

SORRY ABOUT THE MESS.

I MEANT TO HAVE IT ORGANIZED BEFORE YOU GOT HERE, BUT, WELL, OBVIOUSLY, I DIDN'T.

BUT YOU DO KNOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS, RIGHT?

NOT REALLY.

SO, THESE ARE ALL OF YOUR SALES, FINANCIAL AND EMPLOYEE RECORDS?

I HOPE SO.

THEY WERE KIND OF SPREAD ALL OVER THE PLACE.

I TAKE IT BACK.

MAYBE YOU DID GET LUCKY.

I TOLD YOU.

WELL, IT'S AN EASY ONE.

I ALREADY KNOW WHAT MY FIRST RECOMMENDATION IS GONNA BE.

HIRE A C.E.O. WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING?

THIS IS ME GETTING TO WORK.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL LEAVE YOU TO IT.

WAIT A SECOND, YOU'RE TELLING ME HE DIED AND LEFT YOU EVERYTHING?

YEAH.

HE SAID THAT HE WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT THEY ENDED UP WITH SOMEBODY WHO LOVED THEM AS MUCH AS HIM AND THAT WAS ME.

TO THE OWNER OF THE FINEST COLLECTION OF VINYL IN THE TRI-STATE AREA!

HEAR, HEAR.

ACTUALLY, GUYS...

I HAVE SOME NEWS, TOO.

I'M PREGNANT.

WHAT?

OH, MY GOSH!

STEPHANIE, THAT'S FANTASTIC!

OH, MY GOSH! OH, MY GOSH!

STEPHANIE!

TO MADAME RUE.

OH, YEAH! TO MADAME RUE!

-TO WHO? -THE FORTUNE TELLER.

THE AUTUMN LEAVES FUNDRAISER.

REMEMBER?

SHE TOTALLY NAILED IT.

THAT "BIGGER BOAT" THAT I NEEDED WAS THE BIGGER STORE THAT I'M GONNA NEED FOR ALL THIS SWEET VINYL.

SHE KNEW I WAS GONNA GET PREGNANT!

WHAT WAS YOUR FORTUNE AGAIN?

I DON'T REMEMBER.

I DO.

"YOU WILL RECEIVE A RING BY SPRING, OR YOU WILL NEVER MARRY."

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

THAT MEANS THAT SOMEONE IS ABOUT TO GET ENGAGED.

OH, I DON'T THINK SO.

HEY, GOOD-LOOKIN'!

HEY.

STEPHANIE AND GREGG ARE HERE. SAY HI!

-HI, BRYCE. -HI, BRYCE!

THEY BOTH HAVE REALLY BIG NEWS.

CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR IT.

CAN YOU TELL ME TONIGHT? ARE YOU FREE FOR DINNER?

UH, SURE. ARE YOU OKAY?

YEAH, YEAH...

YEAH, I JUST, UH...

WE NEED TO TALK.

OKAY.

UH, HEARTS OF PALM OKAY? 7:30?

GREAT.

I'LL SEE YOU THERE.

GREAT.

SEE YOU LATER.

HE SEEMED STRANGE.

WELL, OF COURSE, HE DID.

HE'S GONNA PROPOSE TO YOU TONIGHT.

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

OH, COME ON, HEARTS OF PALM, BABY, THAT'S THE MOST ROMANTIC RESTAURANT DOWNTOWN.

OF COURSE, HE'S GONNA PROPOSE TO YOU TONIGHT.

BECAUSE OF WHAT SOME SILLY FORTUNE TELLER SAID?

MADAME RUE'S BATTING A THOUSAND SO FAR.

OH...

I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING.

YOU GUYS HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT MARRIAGE?

NO! I MEAN, WE'VE BEEN DATING FOR A WHILE, BUT I HAVEN'T EVEN MET HIS FAMILY.

STILL.

SO ...

DO YOU GUYS WANT TO GET MARRIED?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'VE NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

WELL, DO YOU LOVE HIM?

YEAH. I DO, YOU KNOW?

I GUESS.

SO HE'LL ASK, YOU'LL SAY YES, AND IT'LL ALL BE PERFECT.

YEAH. PERFECT.

YOU KNOW, THAT SMELLS SO FANTASTIC, THAT I THINK I NEED A LITTLE TASTE.

EW!

ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO EVER STOP EMBARRASSING ME?

I HOPE NOT.

YOU LOOK NICE.

THANK YOU.

I'M MEETING BRYCE FOR DINNER.

UM, CAN I TALK TO YOU GUYS ABOUT SOMETHING?

SURE, HONEY, FIRE AWAY.

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF I GOT MARRIED?

YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED?

NO, NOT YET, NOT TECHNICALLY, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE BRYCE IS GONNA POP THE QUESTION TONIGHT.

"POP THE QUESTION."

THAT'S A WEIRD PHRASE, WHY DO PEOPLE SAY THAT?

WE DON'T REALLY...

KNOW BRYCE ALL THAT WELL...

NO, BUT WE LIKE HIM.

WE LIKE HIM.

GOOD. GOOD! THAT'S GOOD.

SO I WILL JUST GO, AND I WILL...

I WILL GET ENGAGED.

I DON'T WANT TO BE LATE, TO MY ENGAGEMENT, SO...

THIS ALL LOOKS DELICIOUS.

GOOD NIGHT! LOVE YOU GUYS!

HAVE WE MET HIM?

GOOD TALK, GOOD TALK...

WELL, THIS IS A SURPRISE.

I'LL SAY.

ARE YOU READY TO BE A MOTHER-IN-LAW?

YEAH.

I THINK I COULD HANDLE THAT.

THANKS.

IS THAT CREAM?

OKAY...

I HAD A REALLY GREAT TIME WITH GRADY AND HIS FAMILY OVER THANKSGIVING.

I KNOW.

YOU SAID THAT.

ESPECIALLY WITH MY NIECE AND NEPHEW.

KIDS ARE...

SO MUCH FUN WHEN THEY'RE...

WHEN THEY'RE LITTLE LIKE THAT.

YOU HAVE A STRAY HAIR.

HMM?

OH.

THANK YOU.

SO ANYWAYS, UH...

I'VE BEEN SPENDING A LOT OF TIME WITH THEM, AND, WELL, I'VE BEEN...

ASKING MYSELF SOME QUESTIONS.

WHAT KIND OF QUESTIONS?

YOU KNOW.

QUESTIONS.

LIKE, "WHO AM I?"

WHERE AM I GOING? WHAT DO I WANT?"

AH, THE TRIVIAL ONES.

HE DIDN'T BRING ME A SPOON.

OH, IT-IT'S THERE.

SPOONS DON'T GO ON THE LEFT.

WHAT WAS HE THINKING?

YOU WERE SAYING?

THE, UM...

THE QUESTIONS?

RIGHT, UM...

ONES THAT, AT OUR AGE, WE SHOULD BE ASKING OURSELVES.

AND DID YOU FIND ANY ANSWERS?

YEAH.

IN PARTICULAR, THE "WHAT DO I WANT?" ONE.

AND?

AND...

I WANT A FAMILY, CARYN.

A WIFE, KIDS, THE WHOLE BANANA.

OKAY.

AND SO, AS UNEXPECTED AS THIS IS PROBABLY GOING TO BE--

AND IT IS FOR ME, TOO, BELIEVE ME--

I'VE DECIDED THAT I CAN'T SEE YOU ANYMORE.

WHAT?

UM...

I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU.

YOU JUST SAID YOU WANTED THE WHOLE BANANA.

I-I DO.

SO WHY ARE YOU NOT PROPOSING TO ME?

PROPOSING?

CARYN, YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY MARRIAGE MATERIAL.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT MARRIAGE MATERIAL?

AND, BY THE WAY, "MATERIAL,"

THAT'S A VERY OFFENSIVE WORD IN THIS CONTEXT.

I MEAN, YOU DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED.

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?

BECAUSE...

YOU DON'T.

I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

I MEAN, I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?

HOW DO YOU MEAN?

ACCORDING TO MADAME RUE, IF I'M NOT ENGAGED BY-- WHEN DOES SPRING BEGIN?

MARCH 20th.

---BY MARCH 20th, I'M DESTINED TO BE AN OLD MAID.

"OLD MAID"? THAT'S A WEIRD TURN OF PHRASE, TOO.

I DON'T LIKE IT EITHER.

SO, AM I SUPPOSED TO GO HUSBAND HUNTING?

IS THERE, LIKE, A LINK ON CRAIGSLIST FOR THAT?

MAYBE YOU'RE NOT DESTINED TO GET MARRIED.

THAT'S WHAT BRYCE SAID!

DO YOU AGREE WITH HIM?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW, BUT JUST THINK ABOUT IT.

I MEAN, HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN THAT I WANTED TO BE A MOM?

SINCE FOREVER.

AND THAT GREGG WOULD THROW HIMSELF IN FRONT OF A MOVING TRAIN TO SAVE A SHRINK-WRAPPED FIRST PRESSING OF "MEET THE BEATLES"?

-THE SAME. -RIGHT.

BECAUSE WE TALK ABOUT THOSE THINGS.

OBSESSIVELY.

AND UNLESS YOU ARE KEEPING SECRETS FROM ME, I HAVE NEVER HEARD YOU MENTION WANTING TO GET MARRIED.

NOT ONCE.

AND I HAVE KNOWN YOU MOST OF MY...

STEPHANIE?

HONEY, ARE YOU OKAY?

STEPHANIE?

ARE YOU OKAY?

IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP?

NO, NO...

UGH...

REMIND ME AGAIN WHY I WANTED TO GET PREGNANT SO MUCH?

THEY SAY MORNING SICKNESS IS A GOOD SIGN.

MM-HMM.

WELL, WHAT THEY DON'T TELL YOU IS THAT IT IS MORNING-NOON-AND-NIGHT SICKNESS.

WELL, IT WON'T LAST FOREVER.

IT'S OKAY.

IF IT MEANS I HAVE A HEALTHY BABY, I CAN LIVE WITH IT.

"RING, RING, RING," TIME TO GET UP.

"RING, RING, RING!"

TOMMY, TIME TO GET UP.

"RING, RING, RING!"

COME ON, BUDDY!

IT'S ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY!

"RING! RING! RING!"

♪ I'M JUST RINGIN' HERE

♪ COME ON, TOMMY-BOY...

OKAY, SHUT UP.

♪ RINGING--


HEY.

HEY, GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU JUST WOKE UP.

UH, I DID.

YOU SLEPT HERE?

YEAH, IN MY OFFICE.

I DO THAT A LOT.

AND THAT'S YOUR BREAKFAST?

YEAH. YOU WANT SOME?

NO, I'M GOOD.

SO, HOW'S IT GOING IN HERE?

YOU MAKING ANY SENSE OF THIS MESS?

UH, YEAH, I'M GETTING THERE.

GOOD.

UM...

WELL, I'LL, UH, LET YOU GET BACK TO WORK.

I DESPERATELY NEED A CUP OF COFFEE.

YOU KNOW, I COULD USE ONE, TOO.

I'LL COME WITH YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

OH, A LITTLE SLIDE WHISTLE! I LOVE THESE.

HEY, SO TELL ME SOMETHING.

WAS IT YOUR C.F.O.'S IDEA?

TO HAVE YOUR FINANCIALS SPREAD ALL OVER KINGDOM COME?

OH, WE DON'T HAVE A C.F.O., BUT WE HAVE A REALLY AWESOME C.P.A.

YOU'RE A MULTI-MILLION- DOLLAR COMPANY!

I KNOW. SCARY, HUH?

IT'S UNUSUAL, FOR SURE.

I'M THE FIRST TO ADMIT IT, WE'VE BEEN FLYING BY THE SEAT OF OUR PANTS, AND WE CAN'T KEEP THAT UP FOREVER--

NOT IF WE EXPECT TO HAVE A FUTURE.

OH, THE FUTURE.

I GUESS IT'S PART OF HUMAN NATURE TO AVOID THINKING ABOUT IT.

IT'S DEFINITELY PART OF MINE.

HOW'S YOUR BOWLING GAME?

AS IN "BOWLING" BOWLING?

YEAH.

UH, PRETTY MUCH NON-EXISTENT.

WELL, THAT'S PERFECT.

OUR COMPANY BOWLING TEAM MEETS EVERY WEEK.

NOW, WE'RE ALL REALLY BAD, BUT WE JUST DO IT TO RELAX AND HANG.

IT'S OPEN TO ANYBODY IF YOU WANT TO JOIN US.

THAT'D BE GREAT.

GIVE ME A CHANCE TO GET TO KNOW SOME OF YOUR EMPLOYEES.

UGH, "EMPLOYEES." I HATE THAT WORD.

MAKES ME FEEL LIKE LUMBERGH FROM "OFFICE SPACE."

OH, I LOVE THAT MOVIE!

YEAH! IT'S THE BEST!

...HAVE YOU SEEN MY--

--HAVE YOU SEEN MY STAPLER!

UH, SO, WHEN DO YOU GUYS MEET?

SUNDAY AFTERNOONS.

AND YOU BETTER BE AS BAD AS YOU SAY YOU ARE, OR PEOPLE WILL GET REALLY ANNOYED.

I'M THE ABSOLUTE WORST, I PROMISE.

WELL, I GOT TO SAY, WE REALLY WEREN'T THAT SURPRISED.

WHAT, YOU DON'T THINK I'M "MARRIAGE MATERIAL" EITHER?

I STILL HATE THAT.

NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT WE'RE SAYING, SWEETHEART.

IT'S JUST, WELL, LOOK AT YOUR HISTORY.

YOU AND RORY WENT STEADY ALL THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL.

RIGHT.

AND YOU AND THAT MOUNTAIN CLIMBER GUY...

DAVE.

WELL, YOU WERE INSEPARABLE IN COLLEGE.

AND JOSH IS THE ONLY GUY YOU DATED IN BUSINESS SCHOOL.

SEE? I'M A MONOGAMOUS PERSON!

THEY ALL MOVED ON.

AND NOW BRUCE HAS, TOO.

BRYCE!

AND I GUARANTEE YOU RORY DIDN'T BREAK UP WITH ME BECAUSE I'M NOT MARRIAGEABLE.

WE WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL.

IS HE MARRIED NOW?

-YES. -WELL, WHAT ABOUT DAVE?

JOSH ISN'T MARRIED!

I THOUGHT YOU AND JOSH LOST CONTACT.

NOT POSSIBLE IN THE AGE OF SOCIAL MEDIA, MOM.

ALL WE'RE SAYING IS, THIS HAS BEEN YOUR PATTERN.


YOU ARE SETTING THE BAR AWFULLY LOW.

I WARNED YOU.

SHOW-OFF.

THAT WAS AWESOME. YOU MADE THE TEAM.

SO, WHAT EXACTLY DOES A BUSINESS CONSULTANT DO?

I ANALYZE A BUSINESS BASED ON ITS PAST HISTORY AND CURRENT PERFORMANCE AND THEN I MAKE RECOMMENDATIONS ON HOW THEY CAN DO THINGS BETTER, AND THEN HELP IMPLEMENT THEM.

SO ARE WE GETTING A REPORT CARD?

YOU BETCHA!

AWESOME.

WILL AND I ARE ANALYSTS, TOO.

"SYMBOLIC ANALYSTS."

-READ-- -"GEEK."

ALTHOUGH URSULA'S GEEKIER THAN ME.

I TRULY AM.

PRETTY MUCH EVERYBODY AT P.G.S. IS A GEEK, INCLUDING THE BOSS.

I TOLD YOU NEVER TO CALL ME THAT.

UNCLE HARRY, YOU MADE IT OF COURSE.

WATCHING YOU BOZOS STUMBLE OVER YOURSELVES, IT IS THE BEST GAME IN TOWN.

-HEY, WILL. -HOW'S IT GOIN', HARRY?

GOOD TO SEE YOU, HANDSOME.

SO, WHO'S THE PRETTY NEW FACE?

UNCLE HARRY, THIS IS CARYN.

SHE'S DOING SOME CONSULTING WORK FOR US.

HI!

NICE TO MEET YOU.

I'M CHARMED.

I DON'T SEE A RING.

WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER OUT?

DOWN, BOY.

SORRY.

AND... GO!

-GOT IT? -YEAH....

OH, GREGG, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS.

I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

YUP.

WE'RE REALLY SUPPOSED TO CHANGE MATTRESSES EVERY SEVEN YEARS?

YEP.

WELL, I'M ABOUT A DECADE OVERDUE THEN.

DO YOU REMEMBER IN HIGH SCHOOL WHEN YOU ASKED ME TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE?

OF COURSE.

I ASKED THE HOTTEST GIRL IN SCHOOL, AND SHE SAID "YES."

AW...

THANKS FOR THAT "HOTTEST GIRL IN SCHOOL" COMMENT.

THAT'S NOT TRUE, BUT...

YES, IT IS.

AND THEN THAT STUD MUFFIN RORY MATTHEWS SWEPT YOU OFF YOUR FEET.

RIGHT...

THAT HAPPENED.

WHICH WAS TOTALLY COOL, BECAUSE THEN YOU AND I GOT TO BE FRIENDS INSTEAD.

MAN, RORY MATTHEWS.

I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT HIM IN AGES.

RIGHT?

HE WAS SO CRAZY ABOUT YOU, IT WAS RIDICULOUS.

HE REALLY WAS.

SO WHY DID HE BREAK UP WITH ME?

I DON'T KNOW.

AND JOSH?

AND DAVE?

WHY DID THEY JUST MOVE ON?

I NEED TO FIND OUT.

RORY?

HI! IT'S CARYN.

CARYN BRIGGS.

HOW ARE YOU?


TOM!

HEY, YOU EAT HERE, TOO?

YES, I LOVE THIS PLACE.

THEY HAVE THE BEST MOZZA--

--MOZZARELLA STICKS IN TOWN.

HUH.

RORY!

WELL, ENJOY YOUR LUNCH.

YOU, TOO. IS THAT--

OH, YEAH, EXTRA CRISPY MOZZARELLA STICKS.

CRACKLIN' FUN FOR DESERT?

YOU KNOW ME SO WELL.

BYE, TOM.

SEE YOU.

RORY.

CARYN.

IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO.

THANK YOU FOR MEETING ME FOR LUNCH.

NO, OF COURSE.

COOPER'S THREE AND A HALF, AND ASHLEY WILL BE ONE IN A FEW WEEKS.

OH, THEY'RE SUPER CUTE.

YEAH, THEY'RE A COUPLE OF SWEETHEARTS.

THAT'S BRANDI WITH FIONA.

BRANDI'S MY WIFE.

AND FIONA'S--

THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER, GOT IT.

BRANDI'S SUPER CUTE, TOO.

YEAH, I LUCKED OUT THERE.

SO, HOW ABOUT YOU?

ARE YOU MARRIED? KIDS?

NO. NO, I'M, UM...

STILL AN ARMY OF ONE.

WELL, THAT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME.

IT DOESN'T?

NO. NO, YOU WERE ALWAYS SO INDEPENDENT.

SO SELF-CONTAINED.

BRANDI'S THE OPPOSITE.

SHE NEEDS A LOT OF ATTENTION.

SO...

BRANDI IS HIGH MAINTENANCE?

MAJORLY.

AND IF I'M THE OPPOSITE OF THAT, THAT MEANS I'M ...

LOW MAINTENANCE?

IN HIGH SCHOOL YOU SURE WERE.

ISN'T LOW MAINTENANCE A GOOD THING?

I LIKE HIGH MAINTENANCE.

I LIKE TAKING CARE OF BRANDI AND THE KIDS.

I LIKE FEELING NEEDED.

OKAY. SO, I DID NOT MAKE YOU FEEL NEEDED IN HIGH SCHOOL?

IS THAT WHY YOU CALLED ME AFTER ALL THESE YEARS?

ARE YOU WORKING ON SOME UNRESOLVED HIGH SCHOOL ISSUES?

NO. NO, NOT REALLY HIGH SCHOOL EXACTLY, BUT I DO HAVE THIS PATTERN WHERE THE GUYS THAT I'M DATING, IT'S GOING GREAT, AND THEN THEY JUST MOVE ON.

YOU KNOW, LIKE YOU DID.

WE WERE 17.

BUT IF I DIDN'T MAKE YOU FEEL NEEDED IN HIGH SCHOOL, WHY WERE YOU WITH ME?

HIGH SCHOOL RELATIONSHIPS ARE PRETTY MUCH ALL ABOUT HORMONES, CARYN, AND YOU, TOO, ARE PRETTY CUTE.

ANYWAYS, I DON'T THINK "ROMANCE" IS THE RIGHT WORD.

YOU WERE NOT ROMANTIC.

I WASN'T?

NO, UM..

DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR REPORT ON "ROMEO AND JULIET"?

YOU SAID JULIET HAD HER WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF HER...

AND SHE THREW IT ALL AWAY.

FOR LOVE.

YEAH, I DO REMEMBER THAT.

MAYBE THAT'S YOUR PATTERN, WANTING TO AVOID THAT.

GREGG IS HERE TO SEE YOU.

SEND HIM IN.

THANK YOU.

HI, GREGG.

BRYCE... GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HAVE A SEAT.

THANKS.

SO...

WE'RE UPDATING YOUR BUSINESS'S LIABILITY POLICY, RIGHT?

YEAH.

I'M MOVING INTO A BIGGER SPACE.

THAT'S THE NEW LEASE AGREEMENT.

GREAT.

LET'S HAVE A LOOK.

HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN CARYN LATELY?

YEAH. A WEEK AGO.

HOW'S SHE DOING?

SHE'S GOOD, SHE'S...

SAME OLD CARYN, YOU KNOW.

GOOD...

MAN, -THAT WAS HARD, BREAKING UP WITH HER.

YEAH?

YEAH, I STILL CARE ABOUT HER, A LOT.

JUST, UH...

DIDN'T SEE A FUTURE FOR US, YOU KNOW?

RIGHT.

THEN I GUESS IT'S BEST YOU BROKE IT OFF.

YEAH, I GUESS. I GUESS...

I JUST, UH...

I STILL MISS HER.

LET'S GET BACK TO THIS.

UH, LET'S SEE, EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD.

LET'S REVIEW 5-D.

YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT BOOK REPORT.

I MEAN, WE WERE ALL PRETTY SHOCKED.

GIRLS LOVE "ROMEO AND JULIET."

AND WHY WERE YOU HAVING LUNCH WITH RORY MATTHEWS?

I'M ON A JOURNEY.

A JOURNEY BACKWARDS?

MOSTLY.

AND WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO FIND ON THIS JOURNEY?

WHY EVERY GUY I HAVE EVER DATED DUMPED ME.

WELL, FIGURING THINGS OUT IS YOUR SPECIALTY.

ARE YOU GOING TO EAT ALL OF THOSE?

I SURE AM.

I'M FINALLY OVER THE MORNING SICKNESS, AND I HAVE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE TO TAKE A VACATION FROM DIETING AND EAT WHATEVER I WANT.

I MEAN, IT IS THE WHOLE POINT OF BEING PREGNANT.

ALSO, THE, UM, THE BABY YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE.

THAT, TOO.

SO, WHAT'S THE NEXT STOP ON YOUR JOURNEY?

MICKEY SAMELSON FROM JUNIOR HIGH?

EW! NO! AND I DUMPED HIM.

WELL THEN, IT'S GOT TO BE--

DAVE!

HEY, IT'S CARYN!

YES, THAT CARYN.

WELL, I SAW ON FACEBOOK THAT YOU ARE GONNA BE IN TOWN NEXT WEEK, AND I THOUGHT...

SHE HAS A VERY ACTIVE SOCIAL LIFE.

WELL THEN, ASK HER OUT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, COME ON.

...TUESDAY FOR COFFEE SOUNDS PERFECT!

OKAY, DAVE, I'LL SEE YOU THEN.

HAVE A GREAT TRIP.

BYE.


WOW, DAVE, THAT IS AN UNBELIEVABLE VIEW.

WELL, IT BETTER BE.

IT TAKES ABOUT THREE DAYS TO CLIMB TO THE TOP OF KILIMANJARO.

DID YOU HAVE TO TRAIN A LOT BEFORE YOU WENT?

OH, YEAH, DEFINITELY, BUT THAT'S PART OF THE FUN.

WHO'S THAT?

OH, MONICA, ON OUR SAFARI.

BOY, SHE LOOKS REALLY FIT.

SHE IS.

SHE KEEPS ME ON MY TOES.

WE'RE HEADED TO BONAIRE THIS SUMMER.

WHERE IS THAT?

THE DUTCH CARIBBEAN.

SOME OF THE BEST SCUBA DIVING IN THE WORLD.

HERE YOU GO.

COOL.

SO ... NO KIDS YET?

NO KIDS EVER.

WE DECIDED PRETTY EARLY ON THAT WE WERE GOING TO FOCUS OUR FULL ATTENTION ON EACH OTHER.

RIGHT.

I READ MORE AND MORE COUPLES ARE DOING THAT.

YEAH.

LOOK, BETWEEN US, MONICA AND I, WE MAKE A PRETTY DARN GOOD LIVING.

LOW-STRESS JOBS, LOTS OF VACATION TIME, SO WHY TIE OURSELVES TO RAISING A FAMILY WHEN THERE'S ALL THOSE ADVENTURES OUT THERE TO TACKLE, RIGHT?

RIGHT. YES.

SO, WHAT ABOUT YOU?

YOU, UH, YOU STILL SINGLE?

I DON'T SEE A RING.

YEAH. YUP, STILL AN ARMY OF ONE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MEETING ME TODAY.

UM, DO YOU MIND IF I, UM, ASK YOU A QUESTION?

NOT AT ALL.

WHY EXACTLY DID YOU BREAK UP WITH ME?

DO YOU REMEMBER?

SURE. I DID IT TO SEE WHAT YOU'D DO.

WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO?

FIGHT FOR ME.

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

WELL, I'M SORRY IF THAT SOUNDS HARSH, BUT IT ALWAYS SEEMED TO ME, THAT, YOU KNOW, EVEN THOUGH WE HAD GREAT TIMES TOGETHER, YOU NEVER WANTED ME IN YOUR LIFE AS MUCH AS I WANTED YOU IN MINE.

YES, I DID!

WELL THEN, WHY DID YOU GIVE UP SO EASILY WHEN I BROKE IT OFF?

SO HE WAS TESTING YOU?

YEAH.

THAT IS SO MANIPULATIVE.

MAYBE, BUT I FAILED.

NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

NO, A GUY LIKE THAT?

YOU'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM.

SO, WHAT WAS I DOING WITH HIM FOR THREE YEARS?

YOU WERE YOUNG, IN COLLEGE.

DO YOU THINK IT'S POSSIBLE THAT I WAS WITH HIM BECAUSE I KNEW WE WEREN'T GOING TO HAVE A FUTURE?

AND JOSH? AND BRYCE?

BECAUSE "I HAD MY WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF ME, AND I DIDN'T WANT TO JUST THROW IT AWAY FOR LOVE?"

HUH?

HER "ROMEO AND JULIET" BOOK REPORT.

YOU REMEMBER THAT?

SURE.

YOU'RE THE ONLY GIRL I EVER MET WHO DIDN'T LIKE "ROMEO AND JULIET."

SO, WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT ME?

IT SAYS YOU WERE 12, AND, LIKE MOST KIDS, KNEW EVERYTHING.

MAYBE I DID.

WHY DON'T WE JUST WATCH OUR MOVIE.

IT'S NOT A ROMANCE, IS IT?

NO, IT'S A MYSTERY. IT'S BRITISH.

I LIKE BRITISH GUYS.

MAYBE MY HUSBAND'S BRITISH.

ALL RIGHT...

THAT'S THE LAST THING YOU'D WANT IS A BRITISH GUY.

DAD...

YOU ARE GONNA FIND THE GUY OF YOUR DREAMS.

HI, URSULA.

HEY, TOM.

HUH, IS THAT A NEW SHIRT?

YEAH.

IT'S NICE.

THANKS.

YEAH.

ARE YOU WEARING AFTERSHAVE?

YEAH.

SO WHEN ARE YOU GONNA ASK HER OUT?

ASK WHO OUT?

COME ON, TOM, YOU THINK YOUR FRIENDS ARE IDIOTS?

WE'VE ALL SEEN THE WAY YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING AT CARYN.

IT'S THAT OBVIOUS, HUH?

LOOK, HOW LONG AGO DID YOU AND ASHLEY BREAK UP?

LIKE, 18 MONTHS?

YEAH, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

SO YOU'RE, LIKE, WAY OVERDUE TO START DATING AGAIN.

URSULA, I DON'T WANT TO JUST DATE TO DATE.

I WANT TO GET SERIOUS ABOUT SOMEBODY.

YOU GOTTA DATE 'EM FIRST.

SHE'S REALLY COOL, TOM.

JUST GO FOR IT.

YOU SOUND LIKE UNCLE HARRY.

WELL, HARRY'S A VERY SMART GUY.

HEY!

JOSH!

HEY. NICE TO HEAR FROM YOU. IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.

I KNOW!

HOW ARE YOU? HOW'S SAN DIEGO?

SUNNY AND PROSPEROUS.

MY SURFBOARD BUSINESS HAS REALLY TAKEN OFF.

REALLY?

WELL, I'M NOT SURPRISED.

I MEAN, YOU WERE THE STAR OF OUR M.B.A. PROGRAM.

AND WHAT ABOUT YOU?

ARE YOU STILL CONSULTING?

YES, I AM.

I'M ACTUALLY RUNNING INTO P.G.S. RIGHT NOW.

AH, THE SURPLUS GUYS, I LOVE THEM.

LOOK, I CAN'T TALK FOR LONG.

I'M ABOUT TO START A MEETING.

IS THERE A REASON YOU GOT IN TOUCH?

YEAH.

I'M ACTUALLY...

THIS IS KIND OF AWKWARD, BUT, LATELY, I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF SOUL-SEARCHING, AND I WAS JUST WONDERING, WHEN BUSINESS SCHOOL WAS OVER, AND I WAS MOVING BACK HERE, WERE YOU AT ALL TEMPTED TO ASK ME TO STAY?

SURE.

SO WHY DIDN'T YOU?

BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WEREN'T IN LOVE WITH ME.

WELL, WERE YOU IN LOVE WITH ME?

YEAH, CRAZY IN LOVE.

JOSH, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

I TOLD YOU.

DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME?

NOT REALLY.

I'M SO SORRY!

AH, NO, DON'T BE.

I'M OVER IT, AND WE HAD A GREAT RUN.

YEAH, WE REALLY DID, DIDN'T WE?

DON'T DO TOO MUCH SOUL-SEARCHING, CARYN.

JUST EMBRACE THE MOMENT.

YOU'RE ALWAYS REALLY GOOD AT THAT.

THANK YOU, JOSH.

THAT'S SO SWEET.

I DON'T KNOW, COME OUT AND SEE ME SOON.

I WOULD LIKE THAT.

-HI. -HI!

ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING TO BUZZ. GOOD TALKIN' TO YOU.

ONE SECOND. YOU, TOO!

HAVE A GREAT DAY!

HI!

OH, UH, I READ YOUR PRELIMINARY REPORT.

I WAS WONDERING IF YOU HAD TIME TO GO THROUGH IT WITH ME?

SURE. YES, YOU WANNA...

LET'S GO TO MY OFFICE.

SURE.

I KNOW THIS IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS, BUT, UH, WAS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND?

NO, I'M ACTUALLY NOT DATING ANYONE AT THE MOMENT.

OH.

SO I GUESS A LOT OF YOUR FRIENDS JUST HAPPEN TO BE GUYS, HUH?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, THE DINER...

RORY! RIGHT.

AND-AND JOSH.

AND SOMEBODY NAMED DAVE?

BOWLING? PHONE CALL?

NO, THOSE GUYS ARE ALL FRIENDS.

I WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP, A VERY SERIOUS ONE, UNTIL RECENTLY.

AH, DID HE GO COMMITMENT-SHY ON YOU, 'CAUSE I KNOW THAT DRILL.

NO, IT WAS ACTUALLY ME.

I COULDN'T MAKE THE COMMITMENT HE WANTED, SO I'M NOT COMMITTED, EVEN THOUGH HE NEVER ASKED ME TO COMMIT.

I THINK I COULD BE COMMITTED, BUT I'M NOT.

WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK HIM?

BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW I WANTED THAT.

DO YOU?

I DON'T KNOW.

I THINK THAT WHOLE

"SHE HAD HER WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF HER AND JUST THREW IT ALL AWAY" THING REALLY TWISTED ME UP.

THIS IS THE ROMEO AND JULIET THING?

YES. I GOT IT IN MY HEAD THAT IF YOU LET YOURSELF FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE, YOUR WHOLE WORLD CHANGES.

WELL, DOESN'T IT?

YES, BUT CHANGE IS GOOD.

I THOUGHT CHANGE WAS BAD.

WELL, IT CAN BE.

HEY, MARCO.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?

YOU'RE SORRY BRYCE BROKE UP WITH YOU?

YES!

I THINK I BLEW IT.

I DON'T THINK SO.

I THINK YOU STILL HAVE A SHOT WITH HIM.

WHAT?

I SAW HIM THE OTHER DAY, AND HE SEEMED REALLY SAD ABOUT THE BREAKUP.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT?

SORRY I'M LATE, GUYS!

BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO SEE THIS.

MEET...

MY BABY.

WHAT?

I KNOW!

STEPHANIE, THAT'S SO COOL!

OH, MY GOSH. OH, MY GOSH!

I KNOW...

OH, MY GOSH...

WOW...

YOU LOVE BEING MARRIED, DON'T YOU?

WELL, EXCEPT ON THOSE DAYS WHEN AUSTIN DRIVES ME UP THE WALL.

AND NOW, A BABY ON THE WAY?

IT IS A BEAUTIFUL LIFE YOU'RE LIVING, STEPHANIE KIRKWOOD.

WHAT IS THIS?

WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT?

THIS JOURNEY THAT I'VE BEEN ON, IT'S JUST, I THINK I'VE FINALLY FOUND MY WAY OUT OF THE MAZE.

YEAH?

YEAH, I MEAN, ALL THE GUYS THAT I'VE DATED, THEY'VE ALL KNOWN SOMETHING ABOUT ME THAT I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW MYSELF, OR AT LEAST I WOULDN'T ADMIT TO MYSELF.

WHAT?

I'M AFRAID OF MARRIAGE, AND I HAVE TO GET OVER THAT.

I THINK MADAME RUE'S PREDICTION WAS A WAKE-UP CALL.


HI.

HI.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT ME, BRYCE.

I AM MARRIAGE MATERIAL.

I REALLY AM.

CAN WE...

CAN WE TALK?

YEAH.

COME ON IN.

AFTER YOU.

SO, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE GOING TO BELIEVE THIS, BUT I SAW A FORTUNE TELLER.

SHE SAID I WOULD RECEIVE A RING BY SPRING.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

A FORTUNE TELLER TOLD YOU THIS?

YES, BUT A REALLY AMAZING ONE.

SHE TOTALLY SAW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH STEPHANIE AND GREGG.

SO YOU WANT TO GET BACK TOGETHER SO THAT THIS PREDICTION CAN COME TRUE?

NO. NO, BECAUSE THIS IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.

YOU WERE AHEAD OF ME.

I'M JUST... CATCHING UP.

I MISSED YOU.

SO, DID YOU LOOK AT ALL OF THESE MAGAZINES WHEN YOU WERE PLANNING YOUR WEDDING?

A LOT OF THEM.

I HAD NO IDEA THERE WERE SO MANY.

THIS IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG.

HELLO!

DINNER IS SERVED.

WONDERFUL!

I'LL GO SERVE US UP.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOIN'?

BRYCE AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED!

I THOUGHT YOU BROKE UP.

AUSTIN...

I-I MEAN, UH... WOW!

CARYN, THAT'S- THAT'S GREAT.

I KNOW!

THANK YOU FOR PICKING UP DINNER...

GETTING MARRIED?

MM-HMM.

IS THIS FOR REAL?

I DON'T KNOW.

AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, HE HASN'T PROPOSED, THEY HAVEN'T SET A DATE.

BUT THEY'RE SEEING EACH OTHER AGAIN?

APPARENTLY.

IS THIS A GOOD THING?

I HOPE SO.

BUT LOOKING AT BRIDAL MAGAZINES WITH CARYN, SOMEONE I HAVE KNOWN MY WHOLE LIFE, WHO HAS NEVER SHOWN THE LEAST BIT OF INTEREST IN STUFF LIKE THIS?

...I LOVE YOU GUYS.

WEIRD.

BY NOW YOU ALL KNOW CARYN.

THE HANDS-DOWN WORST BOWLER ON THE TEAM.

THANK YOU.

SHE'S SPENT THE PAST MANY WEEKS ANALYZING P.G.S.

FROM TOP TO BOTTOM, FIGURING OUT WHAT MAKES US TICK, AND, HOPEFULLY, HOW TO MAKE US TICK EVEN BETTER, BUT I'LL LET HER EXPLAIN ALL THAT.

SO, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, PLEASE WELCOME CARYN BRIGGS!

FIRST OF ALL, I WANT TO SAY CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF YOU FOR RUNNING SUCH A SUCCESSFUL, CUSTOMER-FRIENDLY BUSINESS.

YES!

NOW, I HAVE ADVISED A LOT OF BUSINESSES OVER THE YEARS, AND MOST OF THE TIME, WHAT I DISCOVER, WHICH NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR, IS THEY'RE NOT WORKING HARD ENOUGH.

WITH YOU GUYS, IT'S ACTUALLY THE OPPOSITE--

YOU WORK TOO HARD!

MOST OF YOU PUT IN EIGHT TO TEN-HOUR DAYS, OCCASIONAL ALL-NIGHTERS.

LIKE THE GUY HERE WHO DOES NOT WANT TO BE CALLED YOUR BOSS.

AND ORGANIZATIONALLY, WELL, THERE IS NOT A LOT OF ORGANIZATION.

AS A RESULT, YOU'RE NOT AS EFFECTIVE AS YOU COULD BE.

NOW, THIS LAYS OUT MY RECOMMENDATIONS FOR HOW WE FIX THAT.

OVER THE NEXT SIX WEEKS, WE WILL IMPLEMENT THEM, WHICH MEANS I WILL BE SPENDING ONE-ON-ONE TIME WITH ALL OF YOU, AND THEN WE WILL CRUNCH THE REAL-TIME NUMBERS AND SEE HOW EFFECTIVE THEY ARE.

HOW DOES THAT SOUND?

SOUNDS GOOD.

I HEARD WE HAVE HOMEWORK?

YES, YOU DO.

OH, BOY...

THAT WAS AWESOME.

WORK 9:00 TO 5:00? WHAT A CONCEPT.

THANK YOU.

LET ME KNOW WHEN OUR ONE-ON-ONE IS GONNA BE.

WILL DO.

I'LL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, THERE'S NO WAY I'M GOING HOME AT 5:00 EVERY DAY.

WELL, I'M A CONSULTANT, NOT A COP, BUT IF YOU DON'T, AND BUSINESS DOESN'T IMPROVE, DON'T BLAME ME.

YOU REALLY THINK THIS IS GOING TO HELP?

YOU BETTER BELIEVE I DO, OR HIRING ME WAS A WASTE OF TIME.

POINT TAKEN.

HEY, ARE YOU HUNGRY?

'CAUSE I AM JONESING FOR SOME MOZZARELLA STICKS.

OH, I WOULD LOVE TO, BUT I CAN'T TONIGHT.

WHAT ABOUT TOMORROW NIGHT?

LIKE A DINNER DATE.

THAT'S, UM...

WOW, I MEAN, THAT'S...

THAT'S REALLY SWEET.

I, UM...

BUT MY-MY BOYFRIEND...

BRYCE AND I JUST GOT BACK TOGETHER.

OH.

THAT WHOLE COMMITMENT THING THAT I TOLD YOU ABOUT, WE WORKED ON IT, AND, UM...

WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED.

MARRIED?

UH...

CONGRATULATIONS.

UM, I MEAN, CONGRATULATIONS TO BRYCE.

SINCE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CONGRATULATE THE GUY AND NOT THE GIRL.

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

THAT'S SOMETHING THAT'S...

WELL, THIS IS...

IT'S GREAT NEWS.

I MEAN, YOU SHOULD INVITE HIM BOWLING.

I WOULD LOVE TO MEET HIM.

OKAY. I WILL.

AND-AND THANK YOU FOR...

ASKING ME OUT.

I MEAN, IF I WERE SINGLE, I WOULD HAVE REALLY LIKED THAT.

SO I'LL GET...

YEAH.


-I'M GETTING THE HANG OF THIS. -GOOD!

-I'M GETTING BETTER, RIGHT? -DON'T YOU THINK?

YES OKAY, ONE, TWO, THREE...

ONE, TWO THREE..

YEAH. OOH, I'M SORRY.

YOU'RE DOING GREAT! NOT AT ALL, HONEY.

YOU KNOW, WE COULD...

WE DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS STANDING UP.

OH, PETER...

THAT'S THE PART OF DANCING PEOPLE FORGET...

DON'T YOU THINK?

OH...

STOP...

OH, THERE YOU ARE!

HI, SWEETHEART.

YOU GUYS LOOK FANTASTIC!

OH, HARDLY.

NO, NO, NO, THE JUDGES HAVE SPOKEN.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DANCING?

UH, SINCE TONIGHT.

YEAH.

THERE'S A VALENTINE'S DAY DANCE AT THE REC CENTER, WE DON'T WANT TO EMBARRASS OURSELVES.

AND WE WON'T.

WE MIGHT.

IT'LL NEED TO BE TAKEN IN.

YOU'RE THINNER THAN I WAS ON MY WEDDING DAY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I DON'T KNOW.

I HAVE ZERO ATTACHMENT TO THE IDEA OF YOU GETTING MARRIED IN THE DRESS I WORE.

YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

I GOTTA ADMIT.

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE MYSELF IN ONE OF THESE.

WHY?

CAN I TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING?

SURE.

MOM, HOW DID YOU DO THIS?

I KNOW THE SACRIFICES YOU'VE HAD TO MAKE TO MARRY DAD.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

NEW YORK, PUBLISHING, YOUR WHOLE CAREER.

THAT WAS JUST A JOB I HAD AFTER COLLEGE.

BUT IT WAS SO EXCITING AND GLAMOROUS.

BUT IT WASN'T WHAT I WANTED, CARYN.

THIS.

AND...

AND YOU, AND YOUR DAD, THIS IS WHAT I WANTED.

I DIDN'T GIVE UP ANYTHING.

I GOT IT.

IS THAT WHERE, "SHE THREW IT ALL AWAY FOR LOVE" CAME FROM?

THE WAY YOU FELT ABOUT ME AND MY CHOICES?

I THINK SO.

OH, BABY, I'M SO SORRY.

DO NOT SPILL THAT.

BECAUSE THAT IS... THAT'S SO NOT TRUE.

I WOULD HAVE SACRIFICED ANYTHING TO BE WITH YOUR DAD, AND NEVER FOR AN INSTANT HAVE CONSIDERED IT A SACRIFICE.

I GET THAT YOU WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING TO BE WITH DAD, BUT YOU GUYS ARE STILL CRAZY IN LOVE.

WHAT IS THE SECRET?

WELL, FOR STARTERS, WE LIKE EACH OTHER.

OF COURSE YOU DO.

WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, AND I SEE YOUR DAD LYING NEXT TO ME, OR I HEAR HIM IN HERE MAKING BREAKFAST, IT MAKES ME SMILE.

IT'S ANOTHER DAY, AND YOUR DAD IS GOING TO BE A PART OF IT, AND THAT MAKES ME HAPPY.

IF YOU CAN'T WAKE UP EVERY MORNING AND FEEL THAT WAY, IT CAN BE REAL HARD TO KEEP A MARRIAGE TOGETHER.

I COULD SEE THAT.

JUST BETWEEN YOU AND ME, IT WAS YOUR DAD'S IDEA, THIS VALENTINE'S DAY DANCE.

MY IDEA OF A PERFECT ROMANTIC EVENING IS THE TWO OF US AT HOME IN OUR COMFIEST PYJAMAS, A GREAT MEAL, FOLLOWED BY A CUP OF HOT CHOCOLATE, AND A ROMANTIC MOVIE ON THE TV.

I'M GONNA GO GIVE THIS TO YOUR DAD.

DO NOT SPILL THAT.

HERE YOU GO, SWEETIE.

OH, THANK YOU.

WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING?

THIS IS THE NEXT EPISODE IN THAT SERIES...

YES!

WOW, LOOK AT THAT.

YES! HAHA!

YOU'RE MY GOOD LUCK CHARM, HMM?

YES!

WHAT IS THAT, THREE IN A ROW FOR YOU NOW?

YEAH, I'VE GOT SOME GOOD GAME TODAY, HUH?

MY PERSONAL BEST IS LIKE... 239.

WOW. I DON'T THINK WE'VE HIT 239 WITH ALL OF OUR SCORES ADDED TOGETHER.

NOT EVEN CLOSE.

MAN, I HAVEN'T BEEN BOWLING IN FOREVER.

CARYN WAS NEVER REALLY INTO IT, SO I WAS SURPRISED WHEN SHE--

HEY, BABE, BABE, BABE-- DON'T. NO...

COME ON, WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS.

YOU'RE HOLDING IT WRONG, THAT'S WHY IT'S ENDING UP IN THE GUTTER.

COME ON, FOCUS, BABY, I CAN'T GO THROUGH THIS WITH YOU EVERY SINGLE TIME.

BACK HERE.

COME ON, JUST HERE.

JUST FOCUS, THOUGH.

SORRY, GUYS.

OKAY.

TWO FEET TOGETHER.

YOU'RE GONNA TAKE THREE STEPS OUT, AND LET THE BALL GO, OKAY?

GOOD, GOOD, GOOD...

LET IT GO-- EXCELLENT!

AW, YEAH.

AND THE BAR PLUMMETS DOWNWARD!

AND A HAMBURGER WALKS INTO A BAR, AND THE BARTENDER SAYS, "SORRY, WE DON'T SERVE FOOD IN HERE."

OH, NO...

TOUGH CROWD.

BUT THE NUMBER ONE "WALK INTO A BAR" JOKE--

A HORSE TROTS IN AND THE BARTENDER LOOKS UP AND SAYS, "WHY THE LONG FACE?"

I DON'T GET IT.

BECAUSE IT WAS A HORSE.

GET IT? LONG?

OH... OKAY.

THAT'S FUNNY.

HEY, LISTEN, WE'RE GOING TO GO TO PAGLIOTTI'S AND GET SOMETHING TO EAT, WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH?

OH, THAT SOUNDS GREAT!

HEY, DO YOU MIND IF WE DON'T?

I'M JUST TRYING TO STAY AWAY FROM CARBS.

OKAY, UM, THEN I WILL...

I'LL SEE YOU AT THE OFFICE.

ALL RIGHT.

GOOD GAME!

YEAH! NICE MEETING YOU.

BYE!

OH!

WHAT?

I'D BETTER ARRANGE YOUR COLLAR.

THANKS, SWEETIE.

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN HOW TO PUT ON A COAT, HUH?

HE IS TRYING TO FIX HER COLLAR?

HE IS SO NOT COOL.

COME ON, YOU GUYS, WE JUST MET HIM.

WHAT IS SHE DOING WITH THAT GUY?

YOU COULD TOTALLY STEAL HER FROM HIM, TOM.

AND WHAT KIND OF GUY DOES THAT, HUH?

A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR KIND OF GUY.

YEAH, YEAH...

SEE YOU GUYS AT THE RESTAURANT.

YEAH, SEE YOU.


OH... BRYCE, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.

YOU LOOK GREAT.

THANK YOU.

HEY, I WAS THINKING, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO STAY IN?

ABSOLUTELY.

I HAVE A GREAT NIGHT PLANNED.

I MADE YOUR FAVORITES, KALE WITH CRANBERRY AND WALNUTS, SALMON, WITH A BALSAMIC GLAZE...

WOW.

OVEN-ROASTED POTATOES...

VERY NICE.

PECAN PIE...

AND I HAVE THE MOST ROMANTIC VALENTINE'S DAY MOVIE EVER.

DO YOU LIKE THE ROSEMARY?

MM-HMM.

THE BABY BETTER HAVE YOUR EYES.

I'VE NEVER KNOWN ANYBODY TO GET SO MANY MAGAZINES HERE.

THIS TABLE'S LOOSE.

IT WAS A WONDERFUL EVENING!

OH, IT WAS!

AND IT'S NOT OVER YET.

OH!

...SHE KNEW MY HEART BETTER THAN I DID MYSELF..

...AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE THING TO SAY, IT WAS ALL THERE EVER WAS TO SAY.

"I LOVE YOU..."

TOM!

YOU'RE LEAVING!

WELL, I HAVE TO, IT'S 5:00.

GOOD NIGHT.

I REVIEWED THE NEW NUMBERS.

BUSINESS IS UP.

I KNOW.

I GOTTA ADMIT, I WASN'T CONVINCED YOUR PLAN WOULD WORK.

WELL, IT MAKES SENSE.

NOW THAT P.G.S. IS MORE ORGANIZED, YOU'RE ALL WORKING SANER HOURS, SO YOU HAVE MORE TIME TO REST, ENJOY YOURSELVES, RECHARGE YOUR BATTERIES FOR WHEN YOU ARE ON THE JOB.

WELL, I AM GONNA MISS MY ALL-NIGHTERS.

YOU'RE NOT IN COLLEGE ANYMORE, TOM.

AND I AM REALLY EXCITED TO SEE WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN WITH YOUR COMPANY NOW THAT WE'VE IMPLEMENTED THESE CHANGES.

SO HOW IS IT YOU'RE STILL WORKING?

DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO.

I'LL WALK OUT WITH YOU.

LET ME GET MY COAT.

HOW WAS YOUR VALENTINE'S DAY?

GOOD.

WE JUST STAYED IN AND WATCHED A MOVIE.

YEAH, ME TOO. MY FAVORITE.

"OFFICE SPACE?"

NO... MY FAVORITE ROMANTIC MOVIE.

WHICH IS?

I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD TELL YOU.

IT'S PRETTY EMBARRASSING.

WELL, YOU'RE DEFINITELY TELLING ME NOW.

"A FOREVER KIND OF LOVE."

THAT...

IS MY FAVORITE MOVIE EVER.

COME ON...

YEAH, WE WATCHED IT, TOO.

WELL, I DID.

COOL.

CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

SURE.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF BRYCE?

OH, UM...

SORRY TO PUT YOU ON THE SPOT LIKE THAT, BUT MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS, AND I JUST WANTED TO GET A FRESH PERSPECTIVE.

OKAY, UH, WELL, HE SEEMED REALLY... FOCUSED, SUBSTANTIAL, SOLID, UH...

AND NEAT.

DOES HE IRON HIS JEANS?

HE DOES.

WELL, THERE YOU GO, HE'S DEFINITELY MARRIAGE MATERIAL.

"MATERIAL..."

THAT SOUNDS KIND OF OFFENSIVE, DOESN'T IT?

I'VE NEVER UNDERSTOOD THAT PHRASE.

I'M SORRY.

WELL, THANK YOU.

SURE.

GOOD NIGHT.


THANKS FOR AGREEING TO BE AUSTIN'S LAMAZE BACK-UP.

OH, HERE YOU GO.

NOT A PROBLEM.

IT'S PART OF THE BEST FRIEND JOB DESCRIPTION.

I DO HAVE TO SAY, THAT INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEO WAS PRETTY GRAPHIC.

YEAH, WELL, CHILDBIRTH IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.

WHICH IS WHY YOU ARE GONNA ROCK IT.

YOU PARKED ON THE STREET, RIGHT?

YES.

-I'M THAT-A-WAY. -OKAY.

-I LOVE YOU. -LOVE YOU.

TOM?

TOM?

HI.

HEY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

UH, IT'S UNCLE HARRY.

HE FELL AND BROKE HIS LEG.

NO...

DID YOU WANT TO SEE HIM?

OH, YES.

WELL, HE HAD HIS SURGERY--

THAT HE WEATHERED FINE--

BUT HE'S STILL IN A LOT OF PAIN.

OH, I'M SO SORRY.

WELL, IT WAS KIND OF HIS OWN FAULT.

HE WAS TRYING TO FIX A SMOKE ALARM THAT WAS ON A STEPLADDER THAT WAS WAY TOO LOW, AND HE... FELL.

HE SHOULD HAVE CALLED ME TO HELP HIM, BUT HE'S JUST ALWAYS BEEN SO INDEPENDENT AND SELF-CONTAINED.

YEAH, THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR.

AW...

I LOVE THAT ABOUT HIM, THOUGH.

ALWAYS GROWING AND TAKING ON NEW CHALLENGES.

IT'S REALLY INSPIRATIONAL.

IT IS.

CORA...

-HEY... TOM. -HEY.

I HAD A DREAM ABOUT CORA JUST NOW.

SHE LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL.

WE WERE IN THE OLD HOUSE, IN THE KITCHEN, AND SHE WAS POURING US SOME TEA.

YOU REMEMBER HOW GRACEFUL SHE LOOKED WHEN SHE DID THAT?

THE WAY SHE HELD THE TEAPOT JUST SO?

I LOVED HER FOR THAT.

HOW YOU FEELING, UNCLE HARRY?

I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

ATTABOY.

HI.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

SO YOU FINALLY ASKED HER OUT.

GOOD FOR YOU.

SHE'S JUST VISITING, UNCLE HARRY.

YEAH, RIGHT.

SORRY ABOUT THAT.

HE'S AN INCORRIGIBLE MATCHMAKER.

I'VE NOTICED.

WHO WAS CORA?

HIS WIFE.

MY AUNT.

THEY WERE MARRIED FOR 49 YEARS.

WOW...

YEAH, SHE PASSED A FEW YEARS AGO.

OH, I'M SORRY.

NO. NO, IT WAS GOOD, IT WAS TIME.

HE KNEW IT BETTER THAN ANYONE AND REALIZED HE HAD TO LET HER GO.

HE STILL REALLY HAS IT GOING ON.

OH, YEAH.

THE OPPOSITE SEX STILL PUTS A TWINKLE IN HIS EYE.

YOU KNOW, I THINK A BIG REASON FOR THAT IS BECAUSE HE LOVED MY AUNT SO MUCH.

HE LOVED FEELING THAT WAY ABOUT SOMEBODY.

YOU KNOW, IT'S PROBABLY NOT IN THE CARDS FOR HIM, BUT HE'D LOVE TO FEEL THAT WAY AGAIN.

BOY, THEY SURE SET THE BAR HIGH.

I GUESS I...

I SHOULD GET BACK TO HIM.

I'LL SEE YOU IN THE OFFICE?

OKAY.


CARYN!

LISTEN...

I WASN'T ENTIRELY HONEST WITH YOU THE OTHER DAY, WHEN YOU ASKED ME WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT BRYCE.

OH.

I MEAN, I MEANT WHAT I SAID.

HE DOES SEEM SOLID AND THE KIND OF GUY A WOMAN WOULD MARRY.

IS HE THE KIND OF GUY YOU SHOULD MARRY?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WHAT I MEAN IS...

HE'S GOT YOU, BUT DOES HE GET YOU?

YOU'RE SMART, AND FUN AND SUPER GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO...

AND OBVIOUSLY, I ONLY MET HIM ONCE, SO WHAT DO I KNOW?

BUT I HAD TO ASK MYSELF, BASED ON THAT ONE AND ONLY IMPRESSION, DOES HE REALLY APPRECIATE HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE AND HOW LUCKY HE IS?

ARE YOU HIS CORA?

DOES HE LOVE YOU LIKE THAT?

IS HE GONNA LOVE YOU LIKE THAT FOR 49 YEARS?

AND ARE YOU GONNA LOVE HIM LIKE THAT BACK?

BECAUSE I KNOW IT'S RIDICULOUSLY OLD-FASHIONED TO BELIEVE THIS, BUT I DO BELIEVE IT, THE ONLY LOVE WORTH HAVING AND WANTING IS THAT FOREVER KIND.

DO YOU HAVE THAT WITH BRYCE?

I'M SORRY, BUT...

YOU ASKED THE QUESTION.

I JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU MY FULL AND HONEST ANSWER.

THANK YOU.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, NOW I'M LEAVING.


YOU KNOW, THAT SMELLS SO FANTASTIC, THAT I THINK I NEED...

A LITTLE TASTE.

EW!

YOU HAVE THE MOST UNCANNY TIMING.

TIMING IS NOT NECESSARY WITH YOU GUYS.

YOU ARE ALWAYS CANOODLING.

YOU LOOK NICE.

I'M HAVING DINNER TONIGHT WITH BRYCE AT HEARTS OF PALM.

OH?

OH-HO.

I JUST STOPPED BY TO SAY THANK YOU.

THANKS FOR WHAT?

FOR BEING WONDERFUL PARENTS.

YOU SEE?

I'VE ALWAYS TOLD YOU WE RAISED A VERY INTELLIGENT DAUGHTER.

EVEN WITH ALL THE CANOODLING?

MAYBE BECAUSE OF IT.

IT IS SUPER ANNOYING, FOR SURE, BUT...

IT'S TRULY LOVELY.

IT'S INSPIRATIONAL.

THAT'S...

THANKS.

I LOVE YOU GUYS AND I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT.

SO, DINNER WITH BRYCE...

COME ON, GROUP HUG.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING.

HMM...

I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE I'LL JUST GO FOR STRAIGHT ICE CREAM...

UH... NO, NO, NO, NO.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO ORDER?

UM, I DON'T... I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT?

WE NEED TO TALK.

OKAY.

ABOUT WHAT?

ABOUT US GETTING MARRIED, THIS WHOLE "RING BY SPRING" THING.

I LOVE YOU, BRYCE.

I REALLY TRULY DO.

AW...

I LOVE YOU, TOO, BABE.

BUT I AM TRYING TO MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN THAT ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN, ALL BECAUSE OF SOME FORTUNE TELLER'S PREDICTION.

AND...

WAIT, SORRY, WHAT ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?

US GETTING MARRIED.

WELL, ME GETTING MARRIED.

IT'S NOT IN THE CARDS FOR ME.

THAT'S WHAT THE PREDICTION SAID, AND I CAN SEE THAT NOW.

AND I KNOW THIS COMES AS A SURPRISE TO YOU, BECAUSE IT DEFINITELY COMES AS A SURPRISE TO ME, AND I AM SO SORRY.

WELL, TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, I MEAN, I LEAPT INTO THIS BECAUSE I REALLY DO CARE ABOUT YOU, BUT...

IN MY HEART OF HEARTS, I THINK MY INITIAL INSTINCT WAS RIGHT.

YOU'RE NOT REALLY MARRIAGE--

OH, PLEASE DON'T SAY "MATERIAL."

LOOK, MARRIAGE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING, BUT IF YOU ARE GONNA TAKE THAT LEAP, AND YOU ARE GOING TO WEAR THAT RING, YOU NEED TO BE COMMITTED, ALL THE WAY, FOREVER--

JUST LIKE MOM AND DAD, STEPHANIE AND AUSTIN, AND-AND SOME OTHER PEOPLE THAT I'VE MET.

SORRY, I...

JUST TO BE CLEAR, WE'RE BREAKING UP?

YEAH, AND I'M SORRY.

AND EVEN THOUGH WE AREN'T MEANT TO BE TOGETHER, YOU ARE GOING TO FIND SOMEONE WONDERFUL, AND SHE IS GOING TO BE SO LUCKY.


CARYN! CARYN! CARYN! CARYN!

CARYN IS A STAR!

CARYN! CARYN!

CARYN IS A STAR!

CARYN! CARYN!

CARYN IS A STAR!

SO, EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE LEAVING US, YOU'RE STILL GOING TO BOWL WITH US, RIGHT?

YOU'RE ON THE FAST TRACK TO EARN OUR "LEAST IMPROVED" TROPHY THIS YEAR.

A HIGHLY COVETED HONOR.

I WOULD LOVE TO.

AWESOME.

TIME TO REFUEL?

DEFINITELY. THANKS AGAIN.

AW...

HEY!

HEY.

THIS WAS SO THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.

NO, IT WAS THE WHOLE GANG'S IDEA.

YOU REALLY MADE AN IMPRESSION AROUND HERE.

SEE, WE NEEDED A GROWN-UP TO COME IN AND WHIP US INTO SHAPE, SO THANK YOU FOR THAT.

[IMITATING OFFICE SPACE CHARACTER]:

AS YOU CAN SEE, I DID NOT GET A PIECE OF CAKE!

DO YOU WANT MY PIECE OF CAKE?

"I WILL BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND."

"I WILL SET FIRE TO THE BUILDING."

THANK YOU.

LISTEN, I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE FOR US.

OH, OF COURSE, THIS HAS BEEN REALLY GREAT.

UM, I DO WANT TO SAY, THOUGH, THAT YOU SHOULDN'T USE ME AS A BENCHMARK FOR WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A GROWN-UP.

I MEAN, I'M JUST BEGINNING TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM AND WHAT I WANT.

WHAT?

IT'S PROBABLY NOT THE BEST TIME TO GET MARRIED THEN.

IT ISN'T, AND I'M-I'M NOT.

BRYCE AND I BROKE UP AGAIN.

I'M SORRY.

NO, IT'S OKAY.

IT WAS MY DECISION.

SO... ALL IS GOOD.

WAIT, YOU DIDN'T BREAK UP WITH HIM BECAUSE OF WHAT I SAID TO YOU, DID YOU?

NO, NO, NO, YOU JUST...

CHANNELED BACK TO ME EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING AND FEELING, AND I THANK YOU FOR THAT.

WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THAT.

AND ARE YOU FREE FOR DINNER THEN?

TOM...

YOU'RE AMAZING.

BUT I'VE ACTUALLY SWORN OFF THE RELATIONSHIP BUSINESS FOR A WHILE.

WELL, I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

IT'S GONNA BREAK A LOT OF HEARTS.

I DOUBT IT.

GOOD NIGHT, TOM.

HEY!

YOU ARE A TRULY WONDERFUL GUY, AND IF THINGS WERE DIFFERENT--

THEY ARE DIFFERENT.

YOU'RE SINGLE NOW.

BUT IF THERE'S ANYTHING I'VE LEARNED OVER THESE PAST FEW MONTHS, IT'S THAT I'M NOT GOOD AT LOVE.

I DON'T BELIEVE THAT.

IT'S TRUE.

I MEAN, MAYBE IN THE SHORT TERM, I'M OKAY, BUT IN THE LONG RUN?

SO...

WHAT, JUST FRIENDS THEN?

GOOD FRIENDS.

YOU'RE STILL GOING TO COME BOWLING WITH US, THOUGH, RIGHT?

YES.

I WILL SEE YOU AT THE BOWLING ALLEY.

OKAY.

GOOD NIGHT, CARYN.

GOOD NIGHT.

THIS WHOLE EXPERIENCE FORCED ME TO LOOK AT MY LIFE FOR MAYBE THE FIRST TIME EVER, AND ASK SOME REALLY IMPORTANT QUESTIONS.

"WHO AM I?"

"WHAT DO I WANT?"

"WHERE AM I GOING?"

AND WHAT DID YOU COME UP WITH?

I MEAN, I HAVE GREAT FRIENDS.

THANK YOU GUYS SO VERY MUCH.

I HAVE WONDERFUL PARENTS--

THEY'RE SLIGHTLY EXASPERATING.

I'VE GOT A GREAT JOB.

I MEAN, I AM GOING EXACTLY WHERE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE GOING.

AND IF I'M DESTINED TO GO THERE ALONE, I'M OKAY WITH THAT.

CARYN, YOU ARE 30 YEARS OLD.

I MEAN, HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY KNOW THAT YOU ARE DESTINED TO BE ALONE?

I CAN'T KNOW THAT, BUT MADAME RUE DID.

SHE'S A PRANK FORTUNE TELLER THAT A CHARITY FUND-RAISING COMMITTEE HIRED.

SHE CAN'T REALLY SEE INTO THE FUTURE.

OH, YEAH?

WELL, HOW'S THAT BIG NEW STORE YOU JUST MOVED INTO?

AND YOU, ARE YOU FAKING?

IS THAT A PILLOW UNDER THERE?

YOU SAID IT YOURSELF, I MAY NOT BE DESTINED FOR MARRIAGE.

I MAY HAVE SAID THAT, BUT...

IT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S WHAT I WANT FOR YOU.

IT'S OKAY, GUYS!

IT REALLY, TRULY IS!


THE THIN EDGE.

WHAT?

MAYBE SHE FORGOT.

SHE DIDN'T FORGET.

SHE'LL BE HERE.

AND A GRAPEFRUIT.

THANK YOU.

WHERE IS IT?

TELL ME YOU LEFT IT AT HOME.

I'M SORRY, HOW DO I KNOW YOU?

OH...

I'M SORRY.

THANK YOU.

MADAME RUE!

MADAME RUE, PLEASE STOP!

WAIT, STOP!

MADAME RUE?

IT IS YOU, RIGHT?

HI!

DO YOU REMEMBER ME?

OF COURSE, I REMEMBER YOU.

OKAY, WHAT DID YOU JUST MEAN, WHEN YOU SAID, "WHERE IS IT?"

AH.

TAKE YOUR GLOVES OFF.

GIVE ME YOUR HANDS.

GIVE ME YOUR HANDS.

IT'S THE SAME THING.

WHAT'S THE SAME THING?

IT'S THE SAME THING.

WHAT IS THE SAME THING?

"YOU WILL RECEIVE A RING BY SPRING, OR YOU WILL NEVER MARRY."

I SAW THE SAME THING.

SAME PREDICTION.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, I DO NOT PREDICT ANYTHING.

I JUST... SEE IT.

I-I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

AT THAT FUNDRAISER, I SAW YOU WITH A RING BEFORE SPRING.

WELL, IT'S SPRING, IN SPITE OF THIS AWFUL WEATHER.

BUT THERE'S NO RING, IS THERE?

SO, I'LL NEVER GET MARRIED.

THAT'S FINE.

FINE? WHY SHOULD IT BE FINE?

WELL, IT HAS TO BE.

THAT'S MY DESTINY.

WHAT?

YOU ARE A YOUNG AND VIBRANT WOMAN WITH YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU!

WHY WOULD YOU JUST THROW IT AWAY?

"THROW IT AWAY?" WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?

PLEASE DON'T SAY THAT!

WHAT?

HERE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

IF I HAVE DOOMED YOU TO A LIFE ALONE--

WHICH WAS NEVER MY INTENTION--

THE LEAST THING I CAN DO IS TO GIVE YOU A REFUND.

WAIT, SO YOU WEREN'T SAYING I'M DESTINED TO BE SINGLE?

I SAID I SAW YOU WITH A RING.

I'M SORRY YOU DIDN'T GET IT.

YES, URSULA, SO CLOSE.

SO BAD.

WHEEL IT OVER A LITTLE BIT.

NEXT TIME.

YOU GUYS WANT ANYTHING FROM THE SNACK BAR?

A LEMONADE FOR ME.

CRACKLIN' FUN IF THEY HAVE IT.

YOU GOT IT.

THE MINUTE YOU STOP HOPING SHE'LL COME, THAT'S THE MINUTE SHE'LL COME.

THAT MAKES NO SENSE.

NOW, LIFE'S LIKE THAT.

QUIT BEING A LOVESICK ROMEO.

YOU'VE GOT A SMART PHONE, USE IT.

I AM FINE, UNCLE HARRY.

DON'T SETTLE FOR FINE!


WELL, LOOK WHO'S HERE.

NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

HI. OH, I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE.

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.

GLAD YOU'RE HERE!

WE NEED SOMEONE TO RELEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD.

YEAH, TOM'S BOWLED, LIKE, THREE STRIKES ALREADY, SO...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, I'M TOTALLY OFF MY GAME TODAY.

AH...

OH, IT'S HEADING A LITTLE WEST.

NICE! GOOD BALL.

ARE YOU OKAY?

NOT REALLY.

BAD DAY?

YEAH.

IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO TO HELP?

NO. I'LL BE FINE.

MAYBE THIS'LL CHEER YOU UP.

THAT'S YOUR BOX.

NO, THIS IS MY GIFT.

FROM ME TO YOU.

THANK YOU.

WHAT?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

EXCUSE ME.

SERIOUSLY?

WHOO!

IT'S NOT BAD.

IT'S MY NEW STYLE.

DID YOU SEE THAT?


I'M SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO FIGURE THIS OUT.

YOU'RE HERE NOW.

I AM.