Robin and the 7 Hoods (1964) Script

Speech! Speech!

No, no. I ain't gonna make no speech.

I want to thank you bums for this wonderful birthday.

The first thing I learned was...

...a poor man with no friends stays poor...

...until he can buy good ones.

Me, I got the best.

Sheriff Glick! Stand up.

Deputy Sheriff Potts!

Guy Gisborne!

All the rest of you mugs! Wonderful pals!

Friends who'd cut a right arm off for me.

I just tell them whose.

The reason I got such loyal friends is that I'm thoughtful.

I never asked nobody to work on a holiday.

Thanksgiving, New Year's, Christmas, Fourth of July.

Only one Saint Valentine's Day...

...a little cleanup job.

I just want to thank all you mugs again.

Only thing I'm sorry is that my good pal Robbo ain't here...

...from New Orleans.

Well, that's all I've got to say for now.

Now get drunk.

Wait a minute! Before you all get drunk.

A toast to Big Jim. Come on, let's hear it.

To Big Jim! Happy Birthday, Big Jim!

Big Jim was a shmendrik. He was no good.

He wouldn't part with a dime.

And besides, he was a slob.

He wasn't an American citizen.

Things are different in Chicago now.

Let me give you the benefit of my thinking.

No more independent operations. Forget them.

We're putting them together.

We'll merge them into one organization.

There's gonna be one big leader.

Is there anybody here that got any ideas...

...who's gonna be the new leader?

Tomatoes.

How about picking names out of a hat?

We're gonna use your hat.

Soon you're gonna have nothing to wear it on.

May I make a suggestion? It's a democratic meeting. Yes.

Thank you. Gentlemen...

...as sheriff, I have to keep law and order here.

Now under Big Jim, it was hard with everyone fighting.

We don't want another mess like Big Jim here.

The crime commission's stronger. People are fed up.

We need a leader with courage, strength, integrity.

There's only one man who fills that description: Guy Gisborne.

I accept the nomination.

Is there any objections before the nominations is closed?

You got something to say?

I motion somebody open a window.

Somebody open a window. That's the stockyard side.

Being a democratic meeting...

...I motion that the nominations is closed.

I'm the only candidate, so I'm the new leader.

So I'm gonna thank you for the whole thing. Next business.

What about Robbo? He joins like everyone else.

He ain't gonna like it somebody killed his pal.

Robbo is in or he's under.

You guys are gonna run things just like always.

Except now you're getting protection.

You're gonna get City Hall protection.

That's beautiful. Of course, you have to pay a small...

...service charge that's based on a percentage of your take.

Soupmeat? How much service charge, boss?

I'm making it 50%. Fifty percent!

Hatrack, what do you got?

Couldn't we get less service?

You can get less service. But you're still paying 50%.

If anyone has a problem, I got a special complaint box.

I can put your whole body in there.

I still say...

Forget Robbo!

Don't tell me about Robbo! What's the matter?

You think you get protection for free? That's not a gift.

What do you think it costs? Tell him.

I'd rather not be involved.

He don't want to be involved.

You're in for 25%. You're involved pretty good.

Sure, 50% is high. But he's grabbing 25.

I don't like it either.

I can't do it for less.

Well, scratch a few cousins.

I'm scratching nothing.

My hands is tied. I'm locked in.

So, gentlemen, let me say this.

Let me nominate the 50% service charge as official.

Is there any objections? All right. Now, listen to me.

This is the best thing for us.

Now we're all together, we're organized.

We're... If I could find the word...

We're all for one.


Pals!

One thing, boss. Exactly what are we gonna get?

Nothing.

Easy. Now just take it easy.

How are you, Robbo? What are you doing here?

I thought you were down in New Orleans doing well.

Who hit Big Jim? Hit who?

Him. You're looking good.

Give the man a seat, get up!

All right, Gisborne, who hit him?

What's the difference? Forget about it.

Who was the brain?

There were 34 killings in the last two months.

This town has had it.

You answered my question.

He had to go for the good of us all.

You take that badge off, you won't live to put it back.

We've got a new setup. There's no more independence.

We merged into one organization.

The boys made me their new leader.

Looks like the day they fixed the power in the death house.

We're still gonna hustle...

...now we're protected from the top.

Fifty percent of the take.

What it is... When they started the United States...

...they put the states in one union.

And I'm like the first president.

Give my regards to Martha.

Robbo, you better think it over.

I'll give it to you straight, Mr. President.

You stay out of the north side.

You don't, I'll send you back like Lincoln.

Like Lincoln.

Excuse me.

I want to throw in a few words...

...about our friend that departed so suddenly.

Now, I know Big Jim a long time, and I want to say this.

He did not have enemies.

He had a lot of friends that didn't like him.

There was people calling him...

...a fink, a chiseler, a crooked hood.

There was people that didn't have nothing good to say.

But I can tell you this.

Big Jim had a... He was...

...a very good dresser.

I mean he looked mean on the outside, but inside...

Well, inside his closet he had 280 suits.

Now I want to introduce Robbo.

Here's a man that...

...was very close to Big Jim in the past...

...and he might even be closer to him in the future.

Well, all I want to say is Big Jim has gone to meet the big G.

Big Jim was an inspiration to me.

When I was a kid, he caught me stealing hubcaps off his car.

He said, "Don't steal the hubcaps. Steal the whole car."

Well, we're gonna miss you, Big Jim.

There won't be a guy like you around for a long time.


I think she come to the wrong stash.

We should say something. It ain't none of our business.

I think it was disrespectful. What do you think, boss?

She's a good-looking dame. A relative?

Big Jim never had no relatives, only a brother.

That dame ain't nobody's brother. Come on.

Relax with the horn. Park it and wait.

There's people trying to sleep. Let's go.

Have a good time? Yes.

I'm surprised. They water the liquor here.

I want to see Robbo. Ain't in yet.

Open up. I'll wait for him.

What'll you have? Nothing.

That guy shooting pool is waiting too.

Who is he? I'm not sure.

He's not a threat with the cue stick.

You play with the other end.

I thought I recognized a friend. I just blew in from Indiana.

Let me give you some advice.

Don't stop for a drink. The bartender's my boyfriend.

All I had in mind was a game of pool.

How come you're chalking your finger?

For short shots.

By the way, where's the boss-man tonight?

I don't know who you're talking about.

I told you to stay out of the north side.

I'm trying to get the record straight.

You're right about the sheriff.

He was behind it. I was thinking...

...we could make an arrangement for you to join.

We do our own laundry. If there's an extra bundle...

Anything else? No, that's it.

Give him a drink and get out of here.

Look at the way he's treating me.

We ain't in-betweeners.

We're either best friends or enemies.

Why don't we be best friends? Your drink's waiting.

It's too bad. He has so much to live for.

You're blocking my way. Take a detour.

I don't take detours.

A little respect, or your friends will carry you in a box.

Let me hit him, Robbo. Robbo?

If you shot pool with your tongue, you'd be good.

I can't stand the taste of chalk.

Who are you? A bird lover who studies pigeons.

You don't mean real pigeons.

No. Name your game.

It's your table. How about a hundred a ball?

A hundred a ball? I don't carry hundreds.

How about a thousand?

IKnock off the lights, Will. Rack them up.

Give me a stick.

Seven ways a game at a thousand a way, 7000.

How about goosing up the action a little? A little side bet?

What kind? Oh, about 25 grand.

All right. That's 32.

You're a stranger. You pick the stake holder.

I noticed you've got an honest face, baby.

Let's see how good you can lag that.

Pretty good. It's your break.

Nothing.

Excuse me.


I bow to a mechanic.

Your cushions are tired, threw me off my game.

Too bad. Pay him.

I like a bank with strong assets, baby.

Thank you. Sure.

What's your racket? I'm a brain surgeon.

Follow me.

Your knitting. Oh, sorry.

Lock it up.

You a drinking man?

Anytime.

Help yourself.

What's your name?

Little John.

You know him? Used to work in Indiana?

Yeah. Like what?

Beer, alky, dice. Nothing big.

Why you in Chicago?

Looking for new connections.

Try Gisborne? Nope.

Why not?

Crooked hood.

This town is down to two slices: him and me.

I know all about it.

He's organized. He's got 85 guns, plus the sheriff.

We're an even dozen...

...if you include a hooker who used to throw knives.

You like the long shots. Want to jump in?

I'm in.

Let me give you the bad news first.

Gisborne's gonna hit, and he's gonna hit fast.

I don't know where. I have no idea.

He can knock over everything at once.

You ever think of knocking first?

This guy don't hear so good.

Eighty-five guns, he can knock seven times harder than we can.

What's his pride and joy? A gambling joint.

Last thing Gisborne expects is a visit.

That's a good reason for paying a visit.

That's not a bad idea. We're gonna get it anyway.

I was hoping we'd have help.

You could also lose a few more guns.

When your opponent's got all the aces...

...there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.

What would you like? Nothing.

Well, in my opinion...

Drink your cocoa. There's only one way to handle this thing.

We pick 10 of the best soldiers to kill Robbo.

If they miss, we'll have a war. This city won't go for it.

How do we get rid of them?

Give them the flu?

Break them. I will.

IKnock over his club.

He builds another. IKnock it over.

He'll be dry soon.

Listen to this.

Suppose he pays me a visit over here.

I got a quarter million dollars tied up here.

He'd have to be out of his skull.

You better be right.

I know I'm right. I'd bet my life on it.

You got a bet.

All right, let's go. Load up. Load up.

All right, load up.

Come on, move.

Get your morning paper!

Get your morning paper!

Hey, that Gisborne over there?

Yeah, it sure is.

Ain't that Robbo over there?

It sure is. Where's he headed?

Wherever it is, he's in for a surprise when he returns.

Where's he headed?

Wherever it is, he's in for a surprise when he returns.


Blue Jaw. Yeah, boss?

Itsy-bitsy pieces. Gotcha, boss.

Out of the way, will ya?

Oh, that's music. That's beautiful. That's my favorite tune, eh.

Oh, that's gorgeous. Play that thing there, eh.

Congratulations, you did good.

Folks, this joint is now closed for new alterations.

Leave quietly and no one gets hurt. Guys, have a good time.


Hey, Will, I thought we was friends.

We are. What are you worried about?

I never miss anything I aim at.

You came awful close. You made me nervous.

I didn't mean to make you nervous.

Take a rest so you won't be nervous. I'll take over.

I appreciate that, thanks very much. I don't feel good, my health...


Hundred thousand hangovers down the drain.

I had the same thought exactly.

Seventy-five feet by 82 feet.

Let's see. That's not important.

I have been a builder for 38 years, but this is a new one on me.

All we want is a club that's 100% knock-proof.

This is it. If anyone can ever build it.

You're the guy who'll do it.

I better give you an idea of what this will cost:

Close to 400,000. All right, start working.

Don't you want a competitive bid? You don't get the idea.

It's secret. We're talking to one builder.

That builder ain't talking to nobody, not even his crew.

They must look at blueprints. They look at nothing!

Break it up so one guy don't know what the other guy is doing.

Yes, sir. How long will it take?

Maybe six, seven months? Three.

But that's impossible... Three.

It's possible. Possible.

Hey, boss. Phone's ringing. Well, answer it.

Why do they always ask me to answer the phone?

Everything all broken up here anyway.

I don't even know where it is. How can I answer the phone?

If there's no phone, I'm leaving. There's ringing, must be a phone.

You keep ringing, baby. I'm gonna find you.

Where there's a wire, there's gotta be a phone.

Just get out.

I done found it, boss.

Hello?

Guess who? It's Gisborne.

Three months. Three months is hardly time.

I'm not a magician. This is a big job...

We'll split the difference. Two months!

Two?

Why do you want to argue? Me, argue? That's ridiculous.

Hello? What do you say, Robbo?

What's new, kid? Nothing much. What's new with you?

Nothing much. I'm sorry I wasn't here when you called.

That's okay. As long as you got my message.

I got the message, believe me. I got it pretty good.

What are you going to do now?

- You gonna build a new joint? Starting tomorrow.

Don't use so many nails. It's hard to take apart.

All right, pal, what's on your mind? I'll tell you.

I've been thinking. Why are we killing one another for?

We're both starting from scratch.

Why don't we build a joint together? Be partners.

I'd rather keep you as an enemy. As long as I hate you, I've got taste.

This guy's a funny bum, this guy. Why you being stupid?

I got you seven to one, not even horse-betting odds.

I'll improve the odds.

Maybe you won't live that long. That's a promise.

You never kept a promise in your life, you bum.

What's he pushing? He wants to be partners.

How come he's so friendly?

There's been a lot of heat since they hit Big Jim.

He figures he'll see action here, so he's being chummy.

That's nice. I'm going to put out a good deal of money on this...

...and you have certain occupational hazards...

Give him 50 G as a deposit.

Tell the help they're on salary and we'll open soon.

Get cleaned up, you look like a bum. Sorry.

Hey, architect, you got two months. You begin tomorrow.

Look at that candy store. Ricks, you count to 50.

How do you do, miss? How do you do, Robbo?

You know my name? Quite well.

I'm Little John. Didn't we meet at the polo matches?

Do you have a place we can be alone? Do I have a place...?

Down, boy. But...

Handle your financial transaction. I have a place we can be alone, Miss...

Please, call me Marian. Marian. Fine.

Excuse us. We had some untidy callers last night.

Where'd he dig that up? At the cemetery.

The upstairs maid couldn't get to this one either.

So I see. How about a chair?

Thank you.

I shouldn't keep you in suspense. It's all right.

I'm enjoying the view.

My name is Marian Stevens.

Don't ring no bell with me. It will.

What were you doing at the funeral? Same as you.

But I was saying goodbye to Big Jim. So was I.

You mean, you knew him? Big Jim was my father.

I was like a son to him. He said nothing about a daughter.

Then you weren't quite like a son.

Where you been all these years? Foxcroft, Vassar, the Sorbonne.

Private schools.

I recognize ones with P. S. in front of them.

You want a little drink? No, thank you.

Mother died when I was born. For obvious reasons...

...Father kept me out of his world.

Stevens was my mother's maiden name.

Sure you don't want a drink? No, thank you.

I liked Big Jim. He was some guy. He was very fond of you.

What can I do for you? Money? Contacts?

There is something.

Let's go to Blackstone. We'll eat, we'll talk.

No, I want to discuss it here, now.

Well, what's on your mind? I want my father's death avenged.

You mean, you want me to sue somebody?

I want you to get the man who killed my father.

Classy-looking dame like you shouldn't be making statements like that.

I'll pay you 25,000. Hold it. Wait a minute. Whoa.

I run a gambling joint. I hustle beer.

I make people happy, not croak them.

Thirty-five thousand.

How about a little drink?

You're upset about your old man. I respect you for it.

But shop for a killer? It's walking in the jungle.

You'll get hurt. Do you know who did it?

The sheriff!

Fifty thousand.

Don't be crazy. Go back to your fox hunt.

You said you liked my father. I liked him!

The cemetery's full of guys I liked! I ain't ready to join that club!

Wait a minute. I didn't mean to holler on you.

I'm just worried. I don't want to see your pretty face pushed in.

How about we have dinner? I want the sheriff settled first.

We can discuss social activities afterward.

You ain't dead, pal.

You just put on high heels and a skirt.

I'm sorry I'm late. You have more to be sorry for.

Sit next to your cousin there.

Look how lonesome he looks by himself.

Is there an ashtray?

He's worried about dirtying the floor?

Before I call the meeting to order...

...I want to apologize for our surroundings.

But there's nothing to worry about.

What you see here is part of the sheriff's plan...

...how we're gonna break Robbo. Don't blame me for this.

You're a big thinker. Anybody can make a mistake.

I called this meeting because I thought you got a new plan.

Like where will I get the 250,000 to fix this joint?

I haven't got that kind of money. You ain't got it on your person.

But you're getting 25% of the juice, that's steep.

I thought in view of the emergency, you'd cut it down to 10%.

Did that ever occur to you?

My people won't stand for it. Well, I was just asking.

I resent you putting the blame on me. Don't be resentful.

I'd never hurt your feelings. You're a marvelous human being.

Is the meeting done? That's all.

I gotta go to City Hall. Coming, Potts?

Didn't you want to wait here?

You were gonna see the new insurance man?

Guy's agent's got a new life policy. Short-term.

There's a man turned out to be a big disappointment.

Deputy? How would you describe the word "insurance"?

It's anticipating a catastrophe and being prepared.

Speaking about catastrophes, suppose your boss...

...caught a virus and there was no more partnership.

What would the new sheriff charge? Ten percent.

Call to order.

Ways to dissolve partnership with the old sheriff. Tomatoes.

Let's pack him in limes. That's too dangerous.

We can't take no chances they'll find any evidence.

How about making a deposit in Lake Michigan?

No good. They tried that last year with Julius.

Two days later, he's cruising into port like a leviathan.

Vermin, you got the floor.

I make a motion somebody open a window.

Somebody open a window. Fellas, let's go!

You're not on a lunch break. Think! Charlie Bananas.

My uncle's a guard at a steel mill in Gary, Indiana.

How about we put him in the boiler...

...throw him in with scrap, he melts in the furnace...

...next thing he's a chassis for a Buick?!

How do we get him to Indiana?

I got it! Parcel post. If we don't insure, it's very cheap.

We gotta stay closer to town.

Now, forget about Indiana and the parcel post!

What, Twitch? You gonna sneeze or say something?

I got a stonemason friend. He's building some cornerstones...

...for the new IKnights of Pythias building, a new bridge...

...and the new police station. Go on.

If someone wants to stash something, not to be found for over 100 years...

The sheriff in the police station?

Will you let the man continue?

The sheriff is over six feet, the cornerstones is only three feet.

How about we fold him once? That'll work. Yeah, that'll work.

In the police station. I think that's very sentimental.

That's like burying a garbage man in the dump.


The sheriff will be real happy here. He wasn't goofing on the job.

He was the first in, and he'll be the last out.

Tell them them seats is taken. Them seats are taken.

Taken? In the back, you'll get nice seats.

Who else is coming? Robbo's coming.

You're kidding. I told him what we did.

He said he wouldn't miss it. I hate to disagree with you, but...

Here he comes.

Glad you could make it.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the honorable chief of police...

...of our great and wonderful city:

Chief Oscar C. Brockton.

Thank you.

Friends, it is a great privilege and a distinct honor for me...

...to dedicate this structure today.

It's more than a structure. It's a symbol of justice and order.

Couldn't find a bigger room?

The IKnights of Pythias, but he wasn't a member.

I must inject one sad note into these proceedings.

The sudden and strange disappearance of a man, a coworker...

...who truly could be called a cornerstone of this building:

Sheriff Octavius Glick. How I wish he were present today.

Present? He's leaning on him.

I trust he's out of town on business and isn't the victim of foul play.

That was no foul. That was a solid hit.

I know you will join me in dedicating this great new building...

...to Sheriff Glick, a man of principle...

...a man of determination, a man who would not bend.

We had no trouble. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

Robbo. Listen, come here.

I squared the books on Big Jim, but I don't hear thanks.

Thanks. That's all you got to say?

I'll give it to you straight. Listen to me.

You're out of line. Get back in line.

Otherwise, I'm gonna have you hit. You do what you have to do.

If that's the way you want it. It's not for myself. I like you.

But they're paying protection, you ain't paying.

I understand. Then there's no hard feelings?

No hard feelings. Forget it.

Liqueur in the drawing room, madame. Thank you.

You're staring again, Robbo.

I can't figure you and Big Jim out of the same stable.

If I'm not his daughter, who am I?

A society dame with the hots for tough guys.

You like society dames? Not especially.

Then why did you accept my invitation for dinner tonight?

That's what my boys want to know.

They're worried you might be a decoy. Care to frisk me?

I just did.

Cointreau, brandy, help yourself.

What color you want? Cointreau, please.

If I'm not Big Jim's daughter, why did I ask you to do in his killer?

For which, by the way, I thank you.

I told you once, that's not my racket. I had nothing to do with it.

With Big Jim gone, it leaves this town up for grabs.

I don't know. There's still Gisborne.

Father often spoke of retiring...

...and the man he said he wanted to follow him was you.

Is that so?

Considering where he finally went, it's discouraging.

You wouldn't be careless as to let anyone throw you a birthday party.

Only if I had a guncheck concession.

It's time for the big move.

Make it and it's all the way.

I get the feeling I'm being had. Had?

Nudged.

Nudged? It's Italian. I'll tell you later.

You misunderstand. You can take over this town. I just want to help.

When I want your help, I'll ask for it.

You want to be a two-bit thief forever?

Big Jim's daughter, sure. I bet you never had a doll...

...just a rattle on your tail.

You like it dark?

Some big guy comes in...

...and gives me this box from Miss Stevens.

It wasn't ticking, so I took it. It wasn't ticking, so you took it.

There's a card too. "Thanks for taking care of things. Marian."

I think Robbo's an old-time mechanic.

Spends an evening with a doll and she sends $50,000.

Some girls is grateful. True, true.

I had one like that. She was a health nut.

Whenever we went out, she'd send me a bucket of yogurt.

I think I got some stashed away.

Maybe she wants some of the action?

Robbo don't need no partners.

This here is yogurt. This is yogurt.

What's this?

It's from Miss Stevens.

Fifty grand. America needs you for the Olympics.

She thinks I hit the sheriff.

Let her be as stubborn as she wants.

Take it back. Take it back?

Back. Back.

It smells good.

Wait. Can't we talk this over, boss?

You'll hurt her feelings.

If she's stubborn, you'll have it back tomorrow.

Dump it.

You mean spread it...

I don't mean that.

I mean, find anything, but get rid of it.

Okay. Hold it.

Sorry.

Back.

This used to belong to Big Jim.

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

Robin Hood sure is a nice guy.

You want a pipe and slippers? You paper moocher, you!

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Robin Hood in Chicago!

Steals from the rich and gives to the poor!

Thank you!

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Robin Hood in Chicago!

This Robin Hood's methods differ from his predecessor.

He uses gambling and bootlegged beer...

...to help orphans.

All the world loves a scoundrel, it seems...

...and its newest hero is Robbo.


Hold it, Robbo.

Did you think this would happen?

Wave your hat, Robbo.

What's the next charity? Which?

I'll answer all your...

How far...? Did you hear him?

Don't get smart.

What's that? I saw it in a movie.

Shut up. How far do you...?

I may not like the climate on page one.

What'd you have in mind? You can't print it.

This is the last? I'm Robbo, not Rockefeller.

No more 50 grand from me. I gotta go to work.

All right, press, let's go.

Who's Robin Hood?

Must be some hood that steals birds.

Who'd want a hot canary?

John, you know him? Who?

This Robin Hood.

He's an Englishman.

He had an operation going for him in the forest.

Snatching birds, like I told ya.

He had a raccoon hat.

Sir Walter Raleigh had a raccoon hat.

What was his angle?

He put his coat over a mud puddle...

...so this naked blond could cross the street.

I thought that was Daniel Boone.

When you read, you larn. Learn.

Hi, boys. Hi.

Go see what's outside. What's going on?

News reels and photographers.

Like the boss beating a federal rap.

Hey, boss, how about a shave?

No. How about a manicure?

I don't need one. Anything?

Surprise me. Okay.

Look at these letters.

"Home for the Aged," they want 10 Gs.

"Home for Wayward Girls"... I'll send something.

This lady has 14 kids, gonna be evicted.

This guy who knew your dad.

He wants to go to Florida for his asthma.

Nice place for asthma. Send a few hundred.

They might be liars. Or not.

You can't send everybody money.

They'll break you. Hey, boss.

There's a visitor. Who?

Allen A. Dale.

Send him in.

He's got the whole town outside.

Is he in? It's in.

Give him $300. He's got problems.

No, perish the thought at its inception, kind sir.

This unheralded intrusion into your presence...

...is not with the purpose of soliciting pecuniary offerings.

I ask of you, do not misconstrue.

He has a problem with his throat.

So you know, I am the amanuensis...

...the secretary at the institution...

...which has benefitted from your gift.

I was so overcome that I couldn't resist...

...the urge to bring happy tidings...

...to communications mediums.

This act, sir, this act of serendipity will be returned.

He does have a problem with his throat.

You talk English? Yes.

What do you want? Well...

...I'm from the Orphan Home.

I told the newspaper about you.

And I made the Robin Hood comparison.

I didn't think it'd take off like this.

So you started this?

I hope you're not disgruntled by my impertinence.

No, sit down, sit down.

Thank you, sir.

Here you are, pops.

Ain't I seen you somewhere before?

I've been trailing you all day.

You're popular, Mr. Robbo.

A real Robin Hood.

You like this character?

He was the most beloved rogue in literature.

Brave, handsome, compassionate.

He's the only hood who really made it.

I'm like him? Even your looks.

Give this kid a drink. No, it's forbidden, you see.

I've been warned since I was brought in.

Brought in? You an orphan?

No, no, not an orphan.

I was left with bread and a blanket.

The old story.

How old were you? Fourteen.

Why didn't you speak up?

I liked the arrangement.

My folks were deadbeats.

We moved every other week.

I learned to skip before I could walk.

I was up for adoption for 26 straight years.

Terribly discouraging.

Who wants a kid that's older than his father?

To fill in the time, I started doing secretarial work at the home.

How about you move in with us? You mean you want to adopt me, sir?

Tears your heart out, don't it? No, I didn't mean that.

Maybe you could help with the mail. Separate sinceres from crocodiles.

Send a couple dollars apiece.

We got no time. We're rebuilding a knocked-over joint.

I'd be of inestimable service. I could write speeches.

Give items to the newspapers, take care of your charities.

I'd make you a legend in your own time.

Start him off with a C-note a week. Thank you, sir, and bless you.

Oh, gee, I'm a hood.

I'm a hood! Ho!

That's a hood?

That's right, right on in. Take your place in line.

There you go. Right back here, there's plenty for everyone.

Right on in. You get right in here, sir.

There you are, Mark. Here's one for you.

You new? Yes, sir.

There you are. Here's your Robin Hood hat.

The feather goes in the hat. In your hat!

I don't appreciate your attitude.

Mr. Robbo was considerate enough to give us this.

Accept it graciously and be a merry man.

That cockamamie outfit? You're nuts.

I got enough trouble being an orphan. Yeah. He gots trouble.

I'm attempting to bring some cohesiveness into this motley group.

If you're going into a snippy snit, remaining aloof...

...I'll report you to the deportment department with 12 demerits.

I think something's wrong with his throat.

That could mean automatic expulsion from the brass band.

What's the rap for shooting an old orphan with a bow and an arrow?

I don't know.

Hear ye, hear ye, merry men of Robin Hood!

I gaze upon you with pride and admiration, 25, 24, brave, fearless...

...courageous warriors dedicated to the cause of right and truth.

All hail Robin Hood!

All hail Robin Hood!

Hip-hip-hooray! Hip-hip-hooray!

Hip-hip-hooray! Hip-hip-hooray!

You may turn in your tuba.

How do you like the sign, Robbo? That ain't bad.

Why not try it there? You got it.

That ain't from the five-and-dime.

The costumes come yet? I ain't seen them.

Maybe you better check.

More flowers. Lovely, ain't they? Yeah, they're lovely, yeah.

Got everything you need? Enough to float a battleship.

How are you doing? What do I do with these?

They usually belong on gambling tables.

5000, 3000, 1000. Yeah.

And count them. Me count?

How about raising the chandeliers? Ridiculous.

What did you say? We're gonna raise them.

How do I know where your knitting is?

What, are you tired, pal?

I've been interviewing cigarette girls all day.

Good thing we only need two. Come on.

Do you think three dozen cans will be adequate?

That's all we ordered.

I'll give the young ladies a promotional talk.

We'll open the joint in two hours, so go home and get dressed.

Dressed, sir? This ain't a Halloween party.

This is a classy opening. You need decent clothes.

I don't understand. Look at how you look.

Better you don't look. Yeah, maybe not.

Am I correct in my assumption...

...you find my habiliments reprehensible?

Something's wrong with his throat. I said that six weeks ago.

I hate to belabor the obvious, but in the interest of semantics...

...I'm impelled to observe you indulged in a mixed metaphor.

It's his throat. His throat.


You look like something of a disaster area.

You think I'm too bizarre?

I think you're too carnival. Get out of here.


Do you mind?

Well!


Hooray! Hooray!


Sweetheart, buy the boys a drink, will you?

14, red. Oh, dear, I lost again.

She lost again, listen to this.

May I have $1 worth of 10-cent chips? Another dollar in 10-cent chips.

How do you figure it?

What's to figure? They're all over at Robbo's place.

All of a sudden the bum's a celebrity.

They made him into a Jean Harlow, a Mickey Mouse.

He gave $3 to a couple orphans and they put his picture in the papers.

People want to look at him. He's a celebrity.

In the meantime, I'm dying here. Look at this joint.

But I've got nothing to worry about.

Because I'm paying you protection.

Just temporary, the novelty will soon wear off, and you'll get the business.

Somebody else will get the business before then.

What do you expect me to do?

Cut down on your cocoa. We'll start with that.

My mind's made up. I'll send 50 of my best boys there with cannons.

They'll wipe out the whole joint. One of them will get Robbo.

Please! That would be a catastrophe.

He has lots of influential friends. The whole town would be down on us.

What should I do with this joint?

Be patient, wait a few days. I have a plan.

We don't have to use violence. We lick Robbo by breaking him.

What was that? We break him!

That's what your cousin, the other scientist I listened to...

Just let me finish. We'll knock over the joint.

This time we'll make the raid official.

I'll use real cops. IKeep the men here in case he should hit back.

How many cops? 20.

Thirty.

Thirty.

We'll move next week. Tonight.

The place is full of big shots, judges...

Tonight.

To the ground.

Something for the cause, please?

Thank you, gentlemen.

Oh, you back so soon?

Honey, you do have the busiest can in the place.

Here you are.

Empty it. Empty it. Empty it.

Thank you.


How do you like it? Good evening.

Congratulations. A wonderful night for you.

Congratulations to you, if it works. It will work, all right.

You got your chance. It better work.

Oh, it will work.

I hope.

All right, everybody knows what to do. Now go to your stations.

You too. Come on! Okay, yeah.

I can't find my clothes. What do you mean...?

There they are. Will you come on?

Everybody set?

Ladies and gentlemen, a slight delay.

Take your chips and go to the lounge, please.

No need for alarm.

Head for the lounge.

That's it.

Move right along there.


Peace be with you, brother.

Club is in violation of code 378. Destroy it!

Peace be with you, brother.

Holy smokes.

I'd have sworn there was a joint here.

Friends, we are gathered here tonight to honor a good man, a righteous man.

We got the wrong place. How could we?

I am proud to introduce to you...

...the Reverend Allen A. Dale.

We are gathered here this evening, brothers and sisters...

...to explore the devious paths of that demon: sin.

Sin can transport you to heights of fame and fortune...

...and plunge you to degradation, demoralization and depravation.

Sin promises many prizes, appears in many disguises...

...and fights like hell before it demises.

So we are met this evening in this hallowed hall...

...so you may recognize sin's henchmen when they call.

And our subject for tonight is the most evil of them all.

Who that? I mean, who's that?

Alcohol.


I'll testify. I want to testify.

Then cleanse yourself, my child.

I know this poor, unfortunate soul...

...and the fight she's waging against sin.

That devil hooch has turned her into an unsightly person.

Give us your testimony, my child. Well, it all began with Daddy.

There's a gambling layout here and we'll find it.

Do you know how old he was when he died?

He was 25.

That's why I've got to come clean.

Why? Because I'm already 17.


I want to testify! You've got to let me testify.

Come forward, dear brother. Come forward.

You see here a man who just last year...

...was the United States Olympic heavyweight wrestling champion.

A shadow of his former self, wasted in health, ravaged by sin.

Give us your testimony, brother.

I was cruel.

I was mean. He was mean.

I was a...

...pickpocket.

Oh, no, not a pickpocket!

Then, sin got me in...

Gin. A little bit of that too.

Sin and gin got me in its clutches. That's why I need forgiving.

Now my hand shakes so much, I can't even make a living.

How do you believe this? I tell you, it walked away?

IKnock down the walls...

It's a revival meeting. It ain't a revival meeting.

Every crapshooter in town's here.

There's a joint here. We'll find it.

I want to testify. You don't have to...

I want to. You don't have to...

Oh, let him testify. Very well.

Then let us lead you on the path of righteousness. Not long ago...

...he was the foremost brain surgeon in this grand and glorious country.

Success was smiling upon him.

Go ahead, tell us your story, oh, downtrodden one.

I used spirits for medicinal purposes only.

I manufactured it for medicinal purposes only.

Then I drank what I manufactured...

...and drank myself out of business for medicinal purposes only.

That's right!


I give up. I'm pulling my men. You can't.

If I don't pull them, I won't have any.

We're leaving.

Peace be with you, brother.

You, brother, you can drop dead.

Peace, all you fine gentlemen.


Now Robbo's a national personality. People love him.

They spend money in his joint while we're dying.

My old man's getting free soup every day.

Not important. Forget about it.

I think he's a threat to the younger generation.

I caught a kid stealing my tires, he pulls a bow and arrow on me.

My old man gets free soup every day...

Forget about that soup already!

If you're so impressed, go join his merry men.

Stick a feather in your ear, walk around in green drag, you'll be happy.

What's the matter? You can't see what he's doing in your heads?

I gotta explain that to you.

This man's organizing himself the biggest bodyguard there ever was:

The people of Chicago.

He's in so thick with them, you can't touch him with a flagpole.

Now once and for all, this man's gotta go.

We can't have any violence, I warn you.

Forget the warnings. Just sit down.

My friend is working on a cornerstone for a synagogue.

No. Even if we get Robbo to convert?

Disappearing is the same as hitting.

Open a window. I got an idea.

Somebody open a window anyway.

Before we offed the sheriff, I took some things from him.

His badge, his gun, his wallet with his driver's license.

IKeep talking, Vermin.

Maybe we could use the stuff.

We could put it in a certain place.

I like what you're saying. IKeep talking. Just keep talking.

I don't have experience in this area.

But I think I can handle it.

Do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth.

I do. Take the stand.

Mr. Gisborne, tell the court of a conversation...

...between you and the defendant after Big Jim's murder.

I'll tell you that story now.

I was in the hotel with some friends...

...we meet to play mahjong.

It's 12:30, Robbo comes in. He don't knock, nothing.

He barges right in, and he declares himself.

He says this, I'll never forget it, now that Big Jim...

...has gone to meet his maker...

...he's decided... He means that the man was dead.

I want you to understand.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Now he says Big Jim is dead, he's the new boss...

...and everybody has to pay him a 50 percent service charge...

...that's for protection.

Tell me, Mr. Gisborne...

...what was your reaction?

Stunned. I was stunned. In other words, I couldn't talk.

Finally, I regained my composure, and I said to him:

"Robbo. Why do we need a new boss for?

We've got an honest man, Sheriff Glick."

What did he say to that?

You want the exact words?

The exact words.

Here's what he said. "Don't worry about Sheriff Glick...

...because I'm going to fix his wagon."

Next thing I know, the wagon is fixed.

Did Robbo say how he planned to...

...fix the sheriff's wagon?

He did not. But I'll tell you this.

When he fixes a wagon, it's an interesting ride.

I object. This comes from a witness...

...who is a convicted murderer and racketeer.

He is under oath...

...he knows the consequences for lying.

Absolutely. Objection overruled.

Thank you. He's nice.

That will be all, Mr. Gisborne. Sit down.

Deputy Potts...

...were there meetings between Robbo and the sheriff...

...prior to the murder. One, in particular.

Robbo said something would happen to Big Jim...

...and asked the sheriff if he wanted protection.

The sheriff threw him out.

I see. Did Robbo contact him after this?

He threatened him. The sheriff was in fear of his life.

In other words, the sheriff could not be bribed.

A man of honesty and integrity.

Yes. An upstanding public official.

A very solid citizen.

I've just returned from a visit with our leader.

What are we now? The merry men of 574392?

I demand to see the warden.

I find your levity tasteless and macabre.

How did he kill the sheriff? He didn't have anything to do...

...with that. Don't you believe him?

Anybody want a hat?

There's a good lesson to learn from this.

Robbo made mistakes in the past...

...but they've come back to haunt him.


Boy can he dance.


I was framed!

Liqueur in the drawing room. Thank you.

Tell me, why did you leave Indiana?

The boss, Grubby Mattson, had a girl named Bumblebee O'Neill...

...she was a dancer and he got worried that I was also with her.

He didn't like somebody else getting the honey, so I decided to buzz off.

You have two weaknesses: women and pool.

The day I find a gal that can handle a cue...

Father taught me the game when I was 12.

I still play once in a while. What kind do you like?

Rotation.

That figures.

Brandy, Cointreau, help yourself.

And you? Brandy, please.

John?

Where do go you from here? Robbo's store.

May take 20 years. At 2000 a week, I'll eat.

John. Yes?

Do you always want to be a storekeeper?

When you see something you want, you should take it.

I'm beginning to get the ringings.

I think we're on two different tracks.

IKeep talking. We'll come to a junction.

Just give me the right proposition.

You're on top of the rightest proposition you've had.

If you're talking about taking over, forget it. Robbo's my pal.

Who's talking about that?

I'm talking about using what you have to its fullest.

Like what? Like the charities.

If I had my way, I'd dump it all.

It's the best horse in the race.

You talk like you want to be a jockey. You look like a front-runner.

I think it's post time.

Let's make it a nice, long race.

How do they look?

Not good, Robbo. We'll appeal.

The prospects are bad, but...

How bad? Twenty.

Years? If you're lucky.

That's a lot of license plates.

Everybody rise.

Cook County, Illinois.

Judge IKomp presiding.

Defendant is present. Have you reached a verdict?

It's irregular, but I would like to make a statement.

Proceed.

For four weeks, this jury has listened to the testimony.

The defendant not only supposedly killed the sheriff...

...he started the Chicago Fire, and killed Cock Robin.

I've been a detective for 34 years...

...and I've seen good ringers.

I think the prosecution deserves congratulations for having...

...the best collection...

...of shifty-eyed, double-crossing two-faced liars.

This jury declares the defendant innocent.

Who mentioned Cock Robin?

Things like this happen.


Hey, boss, welcome home!

Hey, boss!

It's great to be back, everybody.

I want the biggest blowout ever seen tonight.

Balloons and streamers.

I'll get the dough for some shopping.

What's the matter?

It's been changed.

Who changed it?

John, sir. Why?

He thought you'd be...

Change it back.

Where's John been? He wasn't at the trial.

He's working on the charities.

That's your job. There have been changes.

That so?

Let's take a look.

Will he do anything rash? I hope he gets the same jury.

Hi, boys. Hello, men.

Everything seems okay.

Open it.

When did you get out?

Where's John?

Does anybody know where the chief is?

The chief? Yeah, the chief.

He's with her royal majesty.

Yeah, that's where he is.

Reports from Atlanta are great. They passed 50,000 in 48 hours.

Gus, New England is wide open.

Get a soup kitchen in Boston.

If they don't drink minestrone...

...toss in some clams and call it chowder.

IKeep in touch.

You should get up to see if your legs still work.

With something like you, who needs legs?

I don't think... That's a good idea.

Jail's out early today.

I'm disappointed. I'd respect you if you took over alone.

It's not a takeover. We raised the action.

It still has your name. Thanks.

Show him the report.

We got no rules for dames in our racket...

...but you pay if you make a mistake, so no more mistakes.

That, I take it, is a special reprieve for Big Jim's daughter.

You're charitable. I'll tell you how to be even more charitable.

The Robin Hood Foundation stays as is.

You will have an office, where you will be given a pen...

...and an allowance for your benefaction.

With only one slight modification: I take, you give.

My gift to you.

You didn't do that right.

Don't tell him he's a stooge, he's got pride.

He's got nothing!

You should have tried for a partnership.

Robbo is no longer a consideration.

We've got his rep, tonight you get rid of him.

I like Robbo.

I'm not hitting. You're scared.

Not of him, you. You move too fast.

I like things easy. I'm packing.

I take a candy store Romeo...

...stick half of Chicago in his pocket, and this is my payoff?

A guy shouldn't work for a boss with great legs.

IKeeps his mind off business. Robbo, he crosses his legs, nothing.

Liqueur in the drawing room. Thanks.

So you're Big Jim's little girl.

You sure didn't inherit his build.

That's charming. I know some jokes.

We must move quickly.

Guy. What?

Call me Guy. I want you to feel free with me.

By quickly, I mean tonight.

Tomorrow's better. Tonight we get to know one another.

We'll break up the ice a little.

We move tonight or never.

Tonight? I'm not against that.

I'd like to move right now.

Is anyone using this room?

It's very rude to rise when I'm still seated.

Stand up then. Charming.

I can be debonair.

Can I move this chair?

I'm too far from you. You're beautiful.

Mr. Gisborne. Guy. Call me Guy.

While Robbo was away, I got the charities.

John was fronting for me.

So you were behind that?

I didn't think it was John, because what does he know?

I built it, and I have no intention of giving it up.

But I can't fight Robbo alone.

Take care of him and you and I can have a partnership.

I like the whole idea.

There's a few problems.

It's not easy. He could get you with both hands in his pockets.

He could shoot with his navel. Second, he's got friends.

The people of Chicago have made him into a hero.

That Robin Hood's been dead 600 years don't matter.

Number three is his pal John.

They're close, like this here.

You have to hit two, not one. Then hit two.

Hit two?

This operation clears 100,000 a week.

In three months we can double that. In a year, the moon.

What'll we do with Deputy Potts?

Get rid of him too.

Him too. Who was your mother, Dutch Schulz?

I'll hit two, not the deputy. He's protection.

Very well, forget the sheriff. Oh, thank you.

That's two we're hitting.

That's a double jackknife. A double jackknife?

That's a dry dive. You have a phone?

Proceed. Thank you.

Garfield 5525.

Twitchy? Gisborne.

Listen, regarding the stonemason.

I want a double accommodation for Robbo and his pal John.

Not singles. You got a family-size?

What do you got?

No. Wait, what was that last one?

I like it. Oh, I like it.

Prepare. Prepare.

Everything will be all right.

I'm curious, Mr. Gisborne.

Always Guy. You must give me the details.

Can we find a more comfortable place where we could talk? A couch?

How will you kill them?

That is a professional secret. You can understand that.

You can tell me. We are going into business together.

So we'll find a soft location and have a conference.

Would you prefer, Cointreau or brandy?

Anything is fine.

But first, you must tell me all about it.

Guysie.

Guysie? Guysie?

I'll tell you everything.

Hey, you got it.

Oh, but you forgot the rest.

My dear friends...

...when I came to this country 54 years ago, I had nothing...

...but the heritage of six generations of pretzel benders.

Now I had made up my mind to make a fortune in America.

I knew that I had to do more than just make another pretzel.

So I deliberated and deliberated...

...until I came up with the solution known...

...around the world as the Hammacher twist.

Twice as much pretzel in one pretzel.

What's holding Guy?

I'll tell you, That crane's holding him up.

He made one mistake: he tried to do it alone.

So you can shoot from the navel.

You got 48 hours to clear out. Carry the bags, fat boy.

And now, my dear friends, I invite everybody inside the bar.

The schnapps is on Hammacher.

Shouldn't we have one for Gisborne?

Didn't we give him a short beer?

Please don't take my cocoa. Yes, sir.

Liqueur in the drawing room. Thanks.

I am confident you've arranged everything.

I've rented the auditorium...

...contacted the necessary parties and found painters.

We can't afford any slip-ups.

When Robbo says 48 hours, he doesn't mean 49.

Tomorrow will tell the tale.

Tomorrow is in the hands of fate, but tonight is all ours.

Oh, I agree.

I don't know what you're going to do with your part of it.

I'm going to sleep.

Miss Stevens? Good night.

Your hat and coat, sir.

Good night.

Ta-ta.

Ta-ta to you too.

This way out... I know the way!

Are you content to raise your children...

...in a city run by gangsters? No!

Will you let your sons idolize this phony Robin Hood...

...who uses soup kitchens to print counterfeit money?

No!

Thank you. Now I would like to introduce a man who...

...is dedicated to public service.

A great officer of the law.

The man who will lead us...

...in our fight for better government...

...Deputy Sheriff Alvin Potts.

Thank you, Miss Stevens.

May I say that I whole-heartedly support...

...the Women's League for Better Government?

Once a hood, always a hood.

Those with pride in the soup kitchens...

...were shocked to find the kitchens were fronts...

...for a large counterfeiting ring.

The leopard, it seems, cannot change his spots.

Read all about it! Robin Hood a hood!

Paper? I always knew he was a hood.

I must talk to Mr. Jake.

You knit one and you purl two. Okay.

Otherwise you drop a stitch, you know...

I insist on talking to Mr. Jake. Yes.

Give me that.

I don't want any trouble with you bums down there.

Go clean up that soup kitchen.

We run a charity.

I can't work for two bosses. That dame called this morning...

...and she said not to stop, and not take orders from nobody.

Everybody against the wall.

Hello. Hello!

He hung up on me. Let's go down there, make a few ripples.

Holy mackerel! Those little...

Close it and lock it.

You're gonna let them do that?

I can fight hoods or cops, but not the people.

Me first.

I forgot my knitting.

Oh, dear.

Merry Christmas! Thank you!

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!

Ho, ho. Merry Christmas, thank you.

Let's get coffee. Let's see if the boss wants any.

Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas!

How about some coffee?

I'm treating. Where'd you get the money?

Some guy missed the bucket. Follow me.

Ain't that the dame's outfit?

Yeah, "WLBG."

They must be doing good. Yeah, come on.

Happy Yuletide, gentlemen.

This wet snow infuriates me...

...but I can't wear galoshes with evening clothes.

Why, that dirty...

Hey, we blow this job, we won't have a pot.

What happened to Potts? He must be in there.

Happy Yuletide, Mr. Potts.