Robot Wars (2016) Script

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[BATS FLUTTERING]

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This is Maris 2 confirming intruders near marker 475.

Suggest you inform chief of operations.

Gotta be a security check, captain.

Nobody in his right mind's going up against this baby.

That's what I thought, too, Stumpy before yesterday.

ROONEY: Come in.

This is Rooney.

Just happened to be at OpCom, chief, or were you expecting trouble?

Don't be such a wise ass, Drake, Mr. Know-it-all.

We've been here before, remember?

Marker alarm doesn't necessarily mean a problem.

Maybe a coyote took a leak on a sensor.

Could be.

Let's take a look on the hyperzoom.

If a coyote did that, he's got a laser gun between his legs.

[BEEPING]

Damn Centros.

Intruder is at marker 474, sir.

We got ourselves a wild west show.

Did you hear that, Drake?

You're gonna have to throw up a thermal wave, nip this thing in the bud.

Let me take a looksy.

Chief.

Ah, General.

How kind of you to schedule an exercise just for our amusement.

General, we never know whether this is the real thing or if it's something that Washington has cooked up to keep us on our toes.

Ah, the Washington types.

What a lovely bunch of coconuts.

[LAUGHTER]

Three perps, three baby carriages.

They're all moving in separate directions.

I'm putting up 100% mag shield and I'm staying stationary.

Forget the mag.

Wipe them off the screen, soldier.

This ain't no drill, chief, not this close to the toxic tomb.

Who cares?

It's just another local Centro party.

I'm carrying passengers.

How long are we just gonna sit here?

I don't know.

MAN (ON PA SYSTEM): Maximum security conditions are now in effect.

Fasten your safety harness and remain seated.

The captain has put on the "no smoking" sign.

Please extinguish all cigarettes.

Oh my god, we're gonna crash.

Come on, it's a standard security drill.

MAN (ON PA SYSTEM): After checking your safety helmets to make sure the chin strap is snugly in place, attach the body harness across each shoulder.

And above all, remain calm.

Thank you for riding Megarobot 2.

Well, general, you're getting a ringside seat here.

Great pleasure to observe last megarobot in combat.

You'll see firsthand just exactly why the alliances need the new minimech series.

Since the Maris 2 is the only thing that we've got to stop those Centro punks.

Excuse me.

Colonel Pritchard, will you take care of our guests?

Yes, sir.

What do you, Sing?

We will smash them like tortillas.

[LAUGHTER]

Drake.

You rang?

I want you to show these guys what the big boy can do.

You want me to turn a firefight into a sales pitch?

I want you to turn the intruders into stains, and save your little comments for the Sunday funnies.

Tell me it's a bad dream, skipper.

Guess who's gonna have to fix his rickshaw.

It's getting ugly out here, chief.

Request surface troops on the double.

Request denied.

Stop acting like a weak sister.

I got innocent people here.

Call off the floor show or I'm gonna abort.

You'll do what I tell you to do, mister.

Those civvies signed a waiver when they bought their tickets.

Now, put that mother into gear and kick some ass.

MAN (ON PA SYSTEM): Maris 2 has encountered hostile conditions.

Please remain calm.

Your safety is complete assured.

Amazing.

You'd really think we're being attacked.

This is no drill.

We are being attacked.


ROONEY: Drake, what the hell's going on?

We're under fire from remote-controlled laser launchers.

They're triangulating the mag shield.

[SCREAMING]

What was that?

What are you gonna do to 'em, captain?

They mess with the bull, they get the horn.


[BEEPING]

What's the story?

The surface targets eliminated, sir.

Maris 2 might have some damage to the passenger compartment.

Drake, you OK out there, son?

What about the passengers?

Shook up.

No apparent injuries.

I'm heading back to OpCom now.

Let's turn this thing around, Stumpy.

Well, see if you can make up some time.

We got another group we'd better get into Crystal Vista today.

Not with me in the cockpit.

I always said you were the best robot pilot we had, but not the only one.

I'll see you in my office later.

Hook me up to the passenger compartment, Bob.

BOB: You're on.

Good afternoon, passengers, in the megarobot Assault System 2.

This is the North Hemi operations chief WD Rooney.

We have just concluded a simulated attack on the Maris 2 security system.

This was only a readiness exercise.

However, if it had been a real emergency, your safety would have been assured by the Maris 2 magnetic shield defensive mechanism.

We thank you for your cooperation.

And we hope you enjoyed this rare and unforgettable experience.

You knew this was a simulation all along.

Well, he really had us fooled.

You acted as scared as the rest of us.

Yeah, I didn't wanna ruin it for you.

Right this way, folks.

That's it.

That's it.

Welcome.

Good day.

I'm Lieutenant Plunkett, and I'll be your tour guide during your stay here at North Hemi.

Please be sure to remain in your coveralls with your ID badge displayed at all times.

You're with the media.

You should be in a special press group.

No, no.

I'm here visiting a friend.

I'm on vacation.

Very well, as long as you're not using an mcorder.

Ladies and gentlemen, Maris 2 is now returning from routine patrol.

Tomorrow morning, we will board the passenger compartment for an incredible, once in a lifetime ride aboard the world's only surviving megarobot, including a stopover in Crystal Vista, a typical American community, which is preserved exactly as it existed when it was abandoned overnight during the Great Toxic Gas Scare of 1993.

Hard to imagine, isn't it?

A time when the world was frightened by toxic waste?

Well, that was way before we here at North Hemi proved that long term storage of hazardous materials can be safe and fun.

Well, I see that Maris 2 has completed the docking operation and is now unloading passengers.

Believe me, there's some happy people over there right now.


That was no simulation.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

I still can't figure it out.

Was it real or was it simulated?

I don't know.

Let's just get out of here.

Leda.

Fanny.

Hi, Hi, honey.

I didn't expect you till morning.

Well, I caught an early ride out with a tour group.

You really made it sound like it was urgent, and you know me, I'm a journalist.

Shh.

Keep it quiet, will you?

I dunno what I'm dealing with here.

Hey, are you all right?

You look like something's really bugging you.

What is it?

Oh, some cowboy pretending to be a robot pilot had to pick this afternoon to prove what an asshole he is!

Excuse me, miss.

Did you call me an asshole?

You broke my specimens, you jerk off.

Oh, now I'm a jerkoff.

My grandmother could pilot that robot better than you.

Are you suicidal or just incompetent?

Are you busy tonight?

Excuse me?

Let's go to your place.

You know, mine's a mess.

You do have brain damage, don't you?

And you have a great set of lips.

And you've got a lot of nerve, jeopardizing people's lives for your own amusement!

You see, Stumpy?

This woman cannot live without me.

I think you need to be, you know, spanked.

And I think you need an ice pack.

Come on, let's go.

Hey, Rocky, it wasn't my fault.

Wow.

I like her.

She's got some pair of sweater puppies under those coveralls.

Bite your tongue, Stumpy.

That hellcat's gonna bear my children.

Well, I'm thinking you're a little punchy, sir.

She doesn't even like you.

I'm thinking you're right.

That was no love tap, my friend.

Well, she's got a point.

We got no right dragging tourists into a firefight.

What am I supposed to do, Stumpy, ignore a direct order?

Those bastards at OpCom want everyone to think it's for show!

Well, she's no dope, that lady.

Maybe she'll blow the whistle to the press.

Yeah, I hope she does.

I've had it up to here.

Now, captain, don't-- now, don't start saying you're gonna quit.

You're not gonna quit.

Yeah, I am.

This time, I am.

Put a fork in me, I'm done.

Again?

You like, Wally?

I like.

Well, you can arrange to have the same buggy, gentlemen.

That big?

Well, half that size.

And without the assault weapons, of course.

But it will be fully equipped to protect your toxic zones.

As long as we have limited weapon components.

You got it, Sing-Sing.

It's Wan-Sing.

Done deal.

Our alliance is a peaceful one.

Our borders are not in dispute, as yours are.

Is that a crack, general?

What General Wa-Lee is most interested in is the entertainment aspects of--

Shut up, Sing-Sing.

I am most interested in the entertainment aspects of large robotic security systems.

Then I think you'll like this news.

I've arranged for you to travel aboard the Maris 2 to Crystal Vista before you leave North Hemi.

That is good news.

I have authorized it for you to ride up front, behind the pilot in the cockpit.

Well, allow me to return the honor.

Tonight, my officers and I will conduct a traditional Shim-Ku ceremony.

You and your officers and their guests are welcome to observe.

Well, thank you, general.

That sounds very interesting.

Leda, you're asking me to believe the whole ghost town's a fake?

How did a town that was supposedly abandoned in 1993 get built above a layer of infrasorb 8.

Which wasn't even invented until 20 years later.

You're absolutely sure it's infrasorb 8?

Yeah.

And a foot thick in every test hole I've dug.

Which means there's something under Crystal Vista they don't want satellite pictures to reveal.

Look at these.

I mcorded them yesterday.

What is this supposed to be.

A secret tunnel.

I found it looking for an old wall safe in the basement of City Hall.

Come on, what would somebody be hiding under a ghost town?

How about a huge cache of weapons?

Weapons that were supposed to have been destroyed during the Tri-World Arms Reduction Treaty of 2021?

All you've got is infrasorb 8 and some photos of a tunnel.

No, no, wait a minute.

Take a look at this picture, the old Mega-1 robot manual.

You know what this is?

Micron transponder?

Right.

I've been on this for weeks, Annie.

I don't know.

Well, well, well.

I've got a little present for you, chief.

Been to the ocean? What?

No.

Me neither.

This proves that the Centros are firing on us with weapons made by the Eastern Alliance.

That hunk of junk doesn't prove anything.

Look at it!

You're too negative, Drake.

Now, that's your problem.

Am I?

Yes, way too negative.

You're a walking minus sign.

Rooney, you must have grown up in old California with too much sun.

Let me ask you a question.

Was your daddy rich and your mama good-looking?

You're cruising for a court martial, buster boy.

The Eastern Alliance is on our side.

So they sell a few weapons to the Centros.

We sell a few to them.

So what?

It's good business.

Stop the tours.

We're not gonna take any crap from the Centros.

Stop the tours, please!

You still don't get it, do you?

If we don't sell minimechs to the Eastern Alliance, then the North Hemi economy is gonna go belly up.

Money, Drake.

We're talking money here.

Not we.

You.

You're talking about money.

I'm talking about human beings, man.

Life.

Life?

Grow up, huh?

I don't understand how you got a commission in the first place.

You don't have the killer instinct.

Take a real long look at these eyes and tell me what you see.

OK, all right.

Now, why don't you take a long vacation and try new Chicago.

I understand it's nice and windy this time of year.

You know, your little Asian friends are gonna get their asses shot off out there.

Then where are you gonna be?

You're off the pilot roster, mister.

The sooner, the better.

Dismissed!

And don't go near Wa-Lee and Sing, if you know what's good for you.

How do you sleep at night, Rooney?

[DRUM BEATING]

[GRUNTING]

[APPLAUSE]


How's your face?

I'll live.

He was cuter before you popped him.

Shut up, Annie.

Have you met Annie?

Hello, Annie.

Hi.

Hi, handsome.

I'm Drake.

This here is my ace mechanic Stumpy, the stumpman.

[GRUNTING]


[APPLAUSE]

Captain Drake, would you care to go toe-to-toe in little shim-ku?

Shall we dance?

No thank you, general.

My feet are killing me.

Poor excuse for the year 2041!

[LAUGHTER]

I hear the captain was a worthy disciple of ancient arts.

It was an elective at the Academy.

I got a C-.

You're too modest.

I demand you honor me with [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]..

Please!

We'll meet again, Captain Drake.

Yeah, we'll do tea.

ANNIE: Oh, I wanna get into his uniform.

Annie, please.

If he can talk, he's mine.

Stop.

You're gonna make yourself crazy.

MAN: Ladies and gentlemen.

He's mine.

I'll be happy to answer any questions you have about megarobots as we make our way toward our destination.

Please don't hesitate to ask.

I'm here to help.

You know what I think?

Hm?

I think you really missed the boat with that Drake guy.

Annie.

Fine, OK.

Not another word.

Thank you.

Hey, folks, this is your pilot, Captain Boles.

I just wanted to tell you that we're right on schedule, and we should be pulling into beautiful downtown Crystal Terminal in about one hour.

So why don't you just sit back and enjoy the ride?

You really think he's all right?

Who?

Drake.

I thought you didn't care.

I don't.

Girl, you got it bad.

OK, forget it, forget it.

Let's just concentrate on the Crystal Vista, OK?

OK.

Mm-hm.

And we are not gonna come back from here empty handed.

I'm gonna find that micron transponder, and you are gonna get your story.

Capisce?

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh?

You got it real bad.

[LAUGHTER]

I guess the Centros are taking a siesta today, sir.

Hold your tongue, mister.

My special ops are sweeping a 40 mile corridor out there.

Let's give credit where credit is due, huh?

What about General Wa-Lee's request?

Oh, send him out on the afternoon run.

Do you really think that's a good idea Yes I do.

I think it's a swell idea.

I think it's a capital idea.

If I didn't, I wouldn't have suggested it, now, would I?

No, sir.

Don't think too much, Pritchard.

It'll give you migraines.

Oh, one other thing.

General Wa-Lee's requested Drake to be his pilot.

I don't think that's possible, sir.

Well, are you thinking again?

No, sir.

Captain Drake, uh, volunteered for the special ops mission going out to the quarter.

That crazy flyboy is out there playing cowboys and Indians with the grunts?

Well, you know Drake, sir.

I hope he gets his balls shot off.


[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

What would John Wayne do?

Remember the Alamo!

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

Captain.

Hey, hey.

Captain.

Captain, did you see the whites of their eyes?

Why don't you get this off me sometime today?

Here you go.

Well, at least you didn't wreck the megarobot.

Are you saying I'm a Sunday driver?

No, no.

No, no, skip.

This was clearly a drive by shoot.

Yeah.

Brought some tequila.

It have a worm in it?

No.

Forget it.

I never drink the cheap stuff.

What the hell are the Centros doing way out here?

Oh, my.

Oh, man.

Look at this.

Little present for the boys at the lab.

That ought to give those nerds a bionic boner.

Where's the rescue party?

Oh, man.

You're it, Stumpy.

My hero.

Don't get too close, captain.

You got a bit of a smell about you.

How would you like to take a nap under that junk?

No, no, Skip.

I'm claustrophobic.

I start hearing voices and seeing things.

You know, lizards and funny little colored creatures.

We're gonna get you a good bottle of tequila when we get back to operations.

I want you to lay off that bug juice you've been tipping.

Do you hear me?

Huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, we're robot men, captain.

What are we doing out here in the grit and grime, where people can blow our ass away?

We're supposed to be indestructible.

No shit.

Thank you.


MAN (ON PA SYSTEM): North Hemi Recreational Services reminds you to observe all rules and regulations during your visit to this authentic 1990s era ghost town.

The disturbance or removal of any object is strictly forbidden.

You may now exit the passenger compartment.

Thank you, and have a pleasant stay in Crystal vista.

Ladies and gentlemen, Maris 2 has completed to dock.

And if you'll please follow me, we'll proceed out the door, down the ramp, into the elevator, and to the terminal.

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, don't forget your tour packs at the counter.

Ah, and at this time, I'd like to introduce your Maris

2 pilot, Captain Will Boles.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

Well, I hope you'll enjoy yourselves.

I think you'll find Crystal Vista to be both fascinating and informative.

And I'll see you back here tonight for our return home.

Have a good time.

The robot's not waiting here for us?

Are you kidding?

They keep it going constantly.

No, they'll bring in a new group when they pick us up.

You know, it just doesn't make sense that North Hemi's hiding weapons here.

If they were, they wouldn't have all these tourists coming and going.

I'm not asking you to make sense of it.

Just look at what I have to show you.

Ah, yes, Dr. Fanning and her friend from the media.

Oh, I'm not here as a journalist, exactly.

Just visiting my old friend.

Are you going to be staying with the group or going on your project site, Dr. Fanning?

Uh, my project, but we'll ride into town with the rest of the group, if that's all right.

That's fine. well, here you are folks, the last surviving example of a typical Southwestern community from the days when the Southwest was actually part of the United States.

Well, as people around here used to say in those days, ladies and gentlemen, have a nice day.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHATTERING]

Let's stick with the group for a minute.

OK, but do you think we have enough time?

Sure.

I didn't know the Centros had anything like this.

What is it?

A satbound simulator.

It wouldn't be any use to the Centros.

What do you mean?

Their satellites don't use this type of signal compression.

I'll have to run some tests on it before I can give you a guess as to what they're doing with it.

All right, get right on it.

Hey, bud.

Yes, sir?

Where are those kind of satbound simulators manufactured?

Most of this stuff comes out of Asia, sir.

Is this your idea of a little R&R, Drake, Stumpy?

Skimming the desert, looking for Trouble How far, chief?

We didn't look for them.

They found us.

This place is jumping with Centros.

Well, a few rotten beans aren't gonna ruin this barrel, Drake.

Look, sir.

What?

Something smells out there.

STUMPY: Skip, Skip.

Shut up.

I don't wanna hear a word.

These Centros have got a bug in the air about something, and before we're up to our necks in wax, we gotta find out what it is!

You know, Drake, you're beginning to get on my last nerve.

If you send Wa-Lee and his officers into that corridor, they're gonna get whacked, dead.

Your mood shifts didn't figure into my plans, Drake.

General We-Lee and his staff are already aboard Maris 2 en route to Crystal Vista.

In fact, I would imagine, right about now, General Wa-Lee is having the time of his life.

Rooney.

Skip, Skip!

I think I owe you a drink.

Is this the strat-adjuster?

Yeah-- yes.

Yes, it is, general.

Why don't you hold on to this control right here?

OpCom to Maris 2.

This is Chief Rooney.

Yes, OpCom, this is Maris 2.

General Wa-Lee, can you hear me?

I'm right here, Chief Rooney, having a great time.

Well, I'm glad to hear that, general.

Captain Boles let me drive the robot.

How am I doing?

ROONEY: I think you'd make a fine robot pilot, sir.

I hope your officers are enjoying their ride in the passenger compartment.

Oh, they are.

Here, let me show you.

ROONEY: You pick up our systems pretty quickly, general.

Oh, I'm a big, big fan of megarobots.

Well, I'll let you continue with your fun, general.

You're in good hands with Captain Boles.

Thank you, Chief Rooney.

Maris 2 signing off.

Let me do it.

Yeah, you handle the robot like a real pro, general.


I presume we're going someplace we're not supposed to.

OK, if we run into a security guard, we're looking for the tour group, all right?


Let's start down here, all right?


What's going on with the run?

Steady as she goes.

It's clear all the way to Crystal Vista.

What's the ETA?

Should be docking in about an hour.

Wa-Lee is having more fun than a 16-year-old in a cathouse.

[LAUGHTER]

How's his driving?

Hit any cactus yet?

Not yet, sir.

Well, give him time.

Thank God it's not an old fashioned freeway.

He'd be banging off of Chevys like a pinball.

[LAUGHTER]


Remember those underground tunnels I showed you?

Yeah.

I'll go first.

I know the way.

Boy, this is some vacation.

Hey, don't touch your hand.

I'm not touching my hand.

Oh, come on, get him!

Get him, you little son of a--

Oh!

Here's to the past glory of the robot service.

To the best robot captain in the North Hemi.

I'm out, Stumpy.

Rooney's gonna transfer me out.

Oh, he's not that stupid.

I'm nothing more to him than Ralph Kramden on the short line bus.

Who's Ralph Kramden?

You don't have a megadisc, Stumpy?

He's the great one, man, Jackie Gleason.

Here's to him.

I'll drink to that.

That bitch Leda, who the hell does she think she is?

I don't need her, Stumpy.

I don't need this job.

And I don't need that freaking robot.

If North Hemi cuts a deal with the Eastern Alliance to build the minimech series, they'll destroy Maris 2, just like they did Mega-1.

You weren't around back then. How do you know?

No, no.

My grandfather and his crew tried to hide pieces of Mega-1 before the salvagers got to it.

[CHUCKLING]

How the hell do you hide a megarobot?

I guess you don't.

They got caught.

Oh my god.

Look at this.

It's the micron transponders.

From the manual I showed you.

Remember?

They were supposed to have been destroyed when the Mega-1 series was scrapped for salvage, but they're here.

Oh my god, you were right!

Now what?

I don't know.

Where does this ladder go?

Up, I suppose.

Well, could we please climb it?

I need to get some air.

I'm starting to feel like a mole.

You are way too sensitive.

[INDISTINCT SPEECH]

What was that?

What?

I think we have company.


What were those noises?

I don't know.

Church mice?

In a school?

I said I don't know.

But you did hear that?

Maybe it was some noisy tourists.

Screw this story.

Let's just get outta here.

I'll meet you back at the terminal.

I'm not leaving without you.

Go on, get outta here.

You get crazier every year.

Go!

You've got 15 minutes, and then I'm gonna call the international guard.

All right, I'll be there in 10.

Go on.


Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much for your patience.

I know you had a good time today.

We'll be ready to board the robot just as soon as all the incoming passengers have been unloaded.

Hot diggity damn, this has been a splendid demonstration.

And you, Captain Boles, excellent robot master.

Thank you.

Yes, Crystal Vista Terminal, this is Maris 2.

We're ready to begin initial docking procedures.

We're running a few minutes late, folks.

Should be any time now.

Excuse me.

I'm a little worried about my friend, Leda.

Leda, Dr. Leda Fanning.

She hasn't been checked off.

Could we hold the robot for her?

If she doesn't make it in time, she'll have to wait for the next run.

OK, hold it.

What's going on.

They're here!

Who's here?

The Centros.

Centros?

There's no Centros--

Yeah, the whole town is crawling with them!

What are you talking about?

They're coming, I tell you!

All right, folks, we are ready to board.

Lieutenant.

Looks like your friend's stuck here a few more hours.

Ladies and gentlemen, please.


What the hell's going on here?

Thank you for the tour, but all good things must come to an end!

[SCREAMING]

Oh my god.

They're hijacking the robot.

This is mutiny, general!

Lock up all the hostages in that passenger compartment, and secure the town.

Hmm!

We won!

Wa-Lee, Wa-Lee, Wa-Lee, Wa-Lee!

What the hell is going on?

Who woke me up?

Is this another one of your migraine attacks?

What's he babbling about?

They've got the robot.

What are you babbling about, Wa-Lee?

Have you been into the mega juice?

In your dreams, you lazy North Hemi slob.

While you take your sweet Western nap, I learned the whole nine robot yards.

Wa-Lee, how could you do this to me?

I treated you with respect.

Next time I bow to you, you can kiss my ass.

Where's Boles?

I wanna talk to Captain Boles.

Boles?

He's on what you call 20th century ice.

Pritchard, find me Drake.

I think he's indisposed.

Did you say "think"?

No, sir.

Find him.

Damn!

Damn.

[ALARM WAILING]


[BEEP]

People are suffocating in here, you son of a bitch!

Oh, god.

Christ.

I can't breathe.

What?

Get away from that!

We're five stories up!

Let me out!

Let me out!

You're a big embarrassment to the North Hemi.

Have you no shame?

No, I want out!

Be my guest.

[SCREAMING]

Anybody else care to leave?

No!

No.

Good answer.

Wipe that smirk off your face!

[BEEP]

Don't step in that, Stump.

A little hair of the pooch'll do you some good, Skip.

Drink it down, Drake.

That's an order.

What's this asshole doing in my office?

Skip, it's Rooney's office.

And what are we doing here?

OpCom needs you.

Oh, now you need me.

[CHUCKLING]

You know what I need?

A real drink.

[CHUCKLING]

Come on, Stump.

Show me the way to the nearest bar.

Damn it, captain, Wa-Lee has commandeered the robot.

[LAUGHTER]

He's taking a slow robot to China, is he?

He's about to take over North Hemi.

I'm out.

Remember?

They've got Leda.

What have we got now?

Maris 2 has reached the tomb, sir.

Is this it?

Smack dab in the middle of the zone.

Do you have any idea where this mag gun is, Stumpy?

Yeah, I don't know how many of those 20th century landmarks are still around.

Come on, Stumpy, think.

Your grandfather must have told you something.

I don't know.

My dad told me.

I was just a kid.

Stumpy, concentrate.

Think.

I know you got some brain cells left.


It was someplace smack in the middle of Crystal Vista.

I remember a brick warehouse.

Tsk.

Must be long gone by now.

Maybe not.

We'll go see.

It was near the school.

I'm sure of that.

My grandpa and his crew used to hang out there and talk about the Mega-1.

In school?

Yeah, that's where he built his first robot.


Let go of me!


Remember the Alamo!

Drake, Jesus Christ.

Hi, Rocky.

Did you miss me?

She missed me.

Listen, I found the micron transponders.

They're in the school.

Grandpa's old schoolhouse.

Lead the way.

Talk to me, babe.

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

Come on, come on.

I got miles to go before I sleep.

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

Speak English.

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

No, I don't understand Centralese.

English.

Then speak up.

MAN: They now dead.

Dead?

Who is dead?

MAN: Chou-Sing dead!

Chou-Sing?

MAN: Yes.

Who killed him?

MAN: Drake.

Drake.

MAN: And a woman.

The girl, too?

MAN: Yes, Drake and woman.

What we do now?

Don't worry.

They'll find out.

[BEEP]

[BEEPING]

PRITCHARD: There they are.

Drake's locator signal.

Yeah.

What the hell are they doing under a schoolhouse?


There must be a hundred tunnels down here.

The micron transponder could be on the other side.

It wasn't too far in.

I know we heard the same kind of rumbling noise when we found them.

If we're lucky, the gun could be on the other side.

How the hell are we gonna fire it, Stumpy?

It must have a service tube to connect the firing controls.

Let me try.

Geez!

Are you hurt bad?

It's just a scratch.

Don't worry about it.

[BEEPING]

Oh, it's like the whole robot's still here.

Cross your fingers.

Here we go.

Sir, Maris 2 moving rapidly towards Captain Drake's position.

[BEEPING]

Where are we?

It's the Mega-1 cockpit.

Gun controls are already wired in.

It's just like keeping one arm in the brain alive, even though you ground up the rest of the man.

My god.

[BEEPING]

Wow.

Geez, captain, this sucker feels like the whole kit and caboodle is still here.

All right, activate mag gun elevator assembly.

Leda, strap yourself into that comseat.

Mag gun elevator assembly loaded for transformation.

Captain, the comdeck's trying to kick in.

Elevate the mag gun.

All right.

North Hemi operations, this is Drake.

If you read, reply on universal frequency.

They made it!

Hurry up, Drake.

He's in range.

[BEEPING]

Something's wrong.

No kidding!

Fix it!

I think I've got it!

Where are you going?

To engage the transformer.

Give full system override when she locks.

No, Stumpy, don't go down there.

You'll get your ass shot off!

Damn it!

It's coming apart.

Stumpy!

Drake, on the monitor.

Peekaboo, I kill you!

I told you we'd meet again, Captain Drake.

[CLICKING]

Come on, baby, come on.

Stumpy, get the hell out of there!

You're a sitting duck!

Just keep that override down!

[CLICKING]

Come on, come on!

Damn it.

[BUZZING]

Forget the gun!

The whole damn robot's intact!

Yahoo!

All right, let's do it.

Strap in, Stumpy!


No, can't be.

Impossible.

Would you look at that?

It's all there, the whole damn megarobot.

Oh my god!

It's Mega-1!

[LAUGHTER]

Good work, Stumpy!

Way to go, lover boy!

OK, watch this baby dance.

You're kidding yourself, Drake.

What are you gonna do with that rusty old tin can?

Take out the garbage, scumbag.


[CHATTERING]

Drake, my god, the hostages!

Yeah.

[CHATTERING]


[CHATTERING]

Fire, Drake.

What are you waiting for, 10 paces?

Fire!


[BEEPING]

Yes, yes!

[CHEERING]

[BEEPING]

[CHUCKLING]

Beat it, will you?

I'm gonna be busy for the next 40 or 50 years.

Gotcha.

Whoa, Captain.

I don't even know your first name.

Marion.

I had to ask.


[MUSIC PLAYING]