Russkies (1987) Script

"But, comrade, we can be friends."

Our uniforms may be different, but we are brothers.

We must learn to trust one another.

Our countries can live together in peace.' the evil commissar shifted his ferret-like gaze to slammer, who only dug his boot heel deeper into his former captor's bloated face.

'Please, comrade. Peace', he blubbered, his once crisp uniform now stained with fear's sweat.

He managed to raise his puffy hand toward slammer in a gesture of friendship, but quick as a weasel, he pulled a three-bladed gutting knife from his boot, but he was no match for slammer's bayonet.

'Eat Pennsylvania steel, borscht-face, ' grunted slammer, "as he opened the commissar like a ripe melon."

Yeah. That's great.

That's cool. That's my favorite one.

That's the best right there.

Check out this picture.

That's cool! Check it out!

Look at his muscles. That's awesome, man!

The fires of hell are no picnic, my friend... but they are nothing compared to the hell we have made for ourselves right here! It is only...

and top fuel dragsters Sunday, Monday, Tuesday!

It's the race of the century. Be there!







What are you doing? Why aren't you watching in the den?

Dad's down there again with his lawyer.

They're signing the divorce papers.

Well, are they fighting?

Not anymore.

Were mostly higher yesterday, in reaction to a firmer dollar and lower interest rates. Although blue chip issues gave up most of their gains late in the session...

How come we never have pancakes?

How about some sausage?

Adam, do you really want sausage and pancakes?

Yes. Don't you know how that will make you feel?

Yeah, full.

Advancing issues outpaced declining issues by about 5 to 3.

Analysts attributed the market's improvement to a stronger dollar and higher bond prices.

Sure is nice having Diane back from college.

She's just having trouble adjusting to what happened with Steve.

You mean getting dumped?

Adam Vandermeer, you leave her alone!

The dollar was mostly higher on foreign exchange markets.


Nobody moves, or the kid dies.

Morning, Danny.

Just to make sure you don't try anything funny, I've cut the phone lines to town.

Now just stay put for the next hour or so and nobody'll get hurt.

$7 an ounce, and dropped 21.50.

Get your tail out of bed, boy.

0800's come and gone.

I'm up. I'm up.

Daylight wasted is gone forever.

I know, yeah, I know.

Shake your tail, soldier!

You're on lawn mower and weed patrol today!

It's a beautiful day.

When I come home, I want to look in that yard and smile.

Do you hear me, son?


Jason? Jason!

I wish one year they'd have a parade with real American stuff.

Yeah, like what?

Yeah, like what?

I don't know. Tanks.



I'll tell you.

I'll tell you what they should have.

Sgt. Slammer.


You pea brains.

Sgt. Slammer is fictional.

Hi, men!


I think I'm going to have a heart attack.

Yeah. That was awesome! I told you.

Hey, I want to try it! How about a ride?

You weenie! You're never gonna fly one of those things.

Why not? It's just an oversized reaction engine with a throttle and some directional controls.

Yeah, well, so is a car and you can't drive that, either.

Well, eat shit and die, dork face. You homo!

You wuss!

Coming, girls?


Dibs on it, whatever it is.

What is it? It's Russian!

I bet... I bet it washed all the way over from Russia.

Give me a break! How could it wash over two whole oceans?

Hey, it's possible.

I heard about this guy that once ralphed in Daytona beach and two years later, his teeth showed up in Hawaii.

Yeah, well, all I know is that whoever lost it's probably dead now.

How do you know that?

Because, man, in Russia, if you screw up, they don't give you a second chance to explain yourself. They just kill you.

Sounds like my dad.

Yeah, well, if this was Russia and you didn't like what your parents were doing, you just turn them in to the k.G.B.

Put them to work in the beet mines in Siberia.

Yeah. Make them work till they drop.

Yeah. All right!


Hey! What's going on?

Jason! What happened?

I don't know. It snagged.

Man. Great!

Come on, let's get the boat up.

Hey, look! What happened?

Look at that thing. What is that thing?

Man, that sucker will pull you right under.

Careful! It'll get you!

Adam! Adam!

Adam! Adam!

It got 'em, it got 'em. What do we do?

I don't know! Help!

Adam! Help!


You dorks! It's just a raft.

Very funny! Don't do that, man.

"No! What are we gonna do?

My god! My god..."

You wimps.

Hey, guys.

Hey, guys. Adam! Jason! Come here!

I think I know where the book came from.


An invasion.

World war III.


You know what I bet happened?

I bet you this is the first wave and they got caught out in the storm.

Yeah, ripped to shit in the coral.

Yeah. Now they're just waiting for the weather to clear to make their big push.

We're the only ones who know.

Man, we've gotta spread the word!


Come on, Jason, push!

Hey. Hey, wait up!

No, Danny. You gotta stay here and secure the island!

What? You heard me.

You gotta check on our bunker to make sure it's okay!

Yeah, but what if I find the bodies or something?

You chicken? No, but...

Sgt. Slammer wouldn't be afraid!

Yeah, but sgt. Slammer has an m16 and a grenade belt!

Okay, you green berets, follow me.

Get the rpgs ready while I reconnoiter this here cave.

What? Of course I've got my flamethrower!

And don't forget the hand grenades and the assault rifles.

And the agent orange.

Drop your weapon, amerikanets.

Russians! Russians!

They landed on the beach! This is it!

Just a sec. Hey, will you guys please shut up? I'm on the phone!

But, Diane, this is real. We found Russians!

Look at this! Yeah, Russians!

Well, right after I finish this call, I'll get Chuck Norris right on the hotline, okay?

It's the geek patrol.

Who, your dad? No. Adam.

Yeah. My brother's an idiot, too.

I know.

They put boys in military?

You have others outside?


No? I'm not talking.

You read these funny books...

You make pretend.

You play soldier.

American propaganda.

Kill arabs...

Kill gooks...

Kill russkie.

Very nice.


I am...

I... I am...

Okay, boys, let's approach this logically.

Did you actually see the Russians?

Not the actual Russians themselves.

But the raft was all torn up. They must've drowned.

Yeah, the first wave!

Adam, why would the Russians invade key west?

Dad, we don't know that it's only key west.

They could be landing everywhere!

Yeah, just like in "red dawn."

Well, they haven't made it to New York yet.

But, dad, it wouldn't be on TV if they were infiltrating.

Yeah. And we'd never know until it was too late.

Except that we found the raft.

And the book, that proves it!

Yeah. They must've sent their crack squad of librarians.

Diane, please. You're not helping.

The boys are upset about something and I'm trying to find out what it is.

Dad, we're telling you what it is.

It's a Russian invasion. Nuclear winter.

Nuclear winter?

Adam, don't you think you're being a little extreme?

Look, dad, just forget it, OK?

I thought you'd understand.

I thought I could talk to you man-to-man.

You know you can.

Sure, I can talk to you man-to-man.

Unless it's something important.

Then you just treat me like a kid.

I did not mean to...

Keep your creepy apologies to yourself.

I know your game.

The old ploy of sneak attack and cover-up.

"We're sorry.

We didn't mean to invade your country."

Not true! Yeah?

Well, what about Afghanistan?

What about Vietnam?

What are you talking about?

You forced us into that one.


Yeah. You ever hear of the domino theory?

You guys are always trying to bump off other countries so you can take over the world.

Is American imperialism threatens world peace.

Wrong, Ivan!

It's the relentless Soviet obsession for world domination.

This from funny book?

"See-git slammer" number 114.

That just shows how dumb you are.

It's in number 98...

"Sgt. Slammer and the politburo of death."

This one with the poisoned blade in shoe?


And they have duel walking on hands?


At top of kremlin.

Yeah! And then sgt. Slammer, he creams the evil...

Yo, Danny! Hey, Danny.


Who comes? The 9th battalion.

Is no joke, boy.

Hey, Danny.

Yo, Dan.

Hands up!

Over there.

Get the gun!

Pin his shoulder!

Pin his shoulder! He has a bad shoulder. Get the gun!

Get the gun! Freeze!

Look at his gun!

Don't look at it, just point it at him!

Gun no work. What?


Was in ocean.

Not firing.


Just cool out, sucker.

You're in America now.

Hi, Mrs. Vandermeer?

Yeah, hi. This is Jason.

Yeah, good. How are you?

Sure. Yeah.

Would it be all right if Adam stayed over tonight?

What? He's in the bathroom.

Yeah, they're showing "rambo" at the base.

Yeah, again.

What, really?

That's great. I'll tell him. All right. Bye.

Boy, are you in trouble.

Good, you're all packed.

Are you ready to go? What?

Our fun-filled weekend with grandma.


But I can't. I made other plans.

What other plans?

I told dad I was going to spend the weekend with him.

I guess if you feel that's the right thing to do, then go ahead.

Way to go, Ace.

I must go now. What?

I must go.

No. You prisoner.

You stay!

Please, you do not understand.

I must go to bathhouse.


Bathroom. Thank you.

You will untie this?


Please. Is becoming very uncomfortable.

Is not want to go. Is have to go.

N-n-no! Don't make me shoot!

I will.

Please. You must trust.

No. I come right back.

Wait a minute!

Halt! Stop!

Don't make me shoot!

Come on back! Please.



I didn't see you.

I thought you were with your mother.

Yeah, I was.

What are you doing here?

I was wondering, could I take your tape recorder to grandma's?

I'll be really careful.

And, dad, I have a question for you.

Say if... I mean what if a Russian landed on the beach here?

What would you do?

Kill him.

Is finished.

Thank you.

How did you know that I wasn't going to shoot you?

Next time you stand guard, maybe it's good to cock hammer of gun.

Please, maybe now you see I can be little trusted, yes?



Spasibo. In Russian, thank you.





Hey, locals only, you pinheads!

Did you see that?

That was a riva 60 with twin 9200s and a seven seas nav package.

Big deal.

Big deal? You can go around the world in that boat.

Yeah, well, I just hope Adam doesn't start interrogating him before we get there.

Don't sweat it. Adam wouldn't have the nerve to say two words to that guy.

You have any ass?

Ace. Aces.


Right. "Do you have any aces?"

Do you have any aces?


No. Go fish.

Do nabizar.

Do nabizar.




Do you have any Jacks?

Adam! Hey, guys.

I just told him to take a hike.

Hey, guys. What are you doing?

I don't know. He's just...

That's great.

That's a great way to stand guard!

Yeah, well, do you see him escaping?

He's just waiting for his chance!

You guys don't understand. Mischa's all right.


That's his name, okay?

Adam, that's the oldest trick in the book.

Your enemy gets all buddy-buddy with you, and when you're not looking, he conks you over the head. And you fell for it.

You don't know what you're talking about!

Yeah? Well, if he's such a good guy, then why don't you ask him what he's doing here?


A Russian sailor on American soil?

Think I should cover him or should we just keep the gun in reserve?

Look at this.

They love this shit.

A couple of shots of this and he'll talk, all right.

You guys are insane. So give it to him.

No, you give it to him.

I'm not going to give it to him you give it to him.

You already fed him something. He'll take it from you.

Danny, he's not a squirrel!

Yeah, but it's your idea.

I'll give it to him.


Here you go, Mischa.

We brought this for you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Na zdorove!

All right, Ivan.

Time to start answering some questions.

Mischa. You have drink first?


I see. Vodka not for boys.

That's not it.

It's... it's just...

Just? Just give me that bottle!

Vodka not for boys.

Look, this isn't a drinking contest.

It's an interrogation.

You're not answering our questions.

You have not asked.

All right.

Just what the hell are you doing here?

I do not know.

You got to let it get into his system.

How could you get to America and not know how?

Know how. Not know why.

I tell you boys true.

I am lost.

My name is mikhail alexandrovich pushkin.

I am radio operator on Soviet Navy surveillance ship.

What do you mean surveillance?

A goddamn Russian spy ship, that's what!

Let him finish!

Please, not spy.

I am radio technician.

Radio I understand, but not this... This politic.

We come for reason not known to me, but I must go.

And boat... This raft, goes down in storm.

Goes over and under, and I only one who comes up.

Officer is gone.

My good friend Boris is gone.

Ship is gone.

And I am here.

And now you boys do what you must do.

You will take this tape and you will turn me in.

I will go to prison with disgrace for my family and my country, and I make more distrust.

And America makes more "see-git slammer" that teaches boys to kill.

Told you guys.

You do not trust.

I understand.

I wonder what I think if you wash up in Soviet union...

If I find you in my home.

My home.

Four months at sea...

I think of family who maybe I never see again.

I have big family.

Very hug, you know?

Like bear, always hugging.

You boys, you know this good feeling of family?

You're lying!

Would you just cool it?

He's telling the truth. Aren't you, Mischa?

Yes, I am.

I think I see why your country is strong.

You have conviction even as young men.

I am glad to meet such men.


I never barfed up a whole chili burger before.

You could still see the sesame seeds and everything.

I'll never understand why anyone drinks that shit.

It doesn't even taste good.

God, never. Man.

Never again.

So what are we going to do about Mischa?


I mean, we can't just turn him in now that we know who he is and everything.

What are you talking about, Adam? He's a Russian!

Yeah, but why does that matter?

Don't go all liberal on us.

You're starting to sound like your dad.

This has nothing to do with my dad!

Sure, it does.

He wasn't even in the service.

He didn't even fight in Vietnam.

He wanted to, but he just had bad knees!

Get out of here, Adam.

Everyone knows he was a C.O...

Conscientious objector.

Like father, like son.

You don't know what you're talking about, man!

You don't know nothing!

There's a quick exchange there.

He's on the floor. Boba is up and...


Right in that stomach. Goes for a pin.

One-two count. Only a two-count.

Hang on!

A quick exchange of punches.

He's up for a suplex! Quick cover, but he kicked out after a two-count!

I am Sulock.

You break agreement.

What? What are you doing here?

Pal, the deal's off.

I got the damn thing off the base.

Stop. Stop!

Look. You went under.

I split.


Boat return.

Give device now!

Give device now.

You two guys take the cake.

What do you think, I carry it on me?

Hey, device back on base.

Back on the base.

Hey, hey, I don't need that.

The goddamn thing is safe on a truck.

The truck is back on the base.

In a couple days, the whole system will be operational.

And you know what?

I changed my mind. See, we're allowed to do that in this country.

Call it corny, call it old-fashioned, but god damn it, I'm not selling out my country on the 4th of July.

So why don't you and baryshnikov here go to hell?

I'll spell it out for you.

And you don't need the book.

No way.

No way.

What are you doin'?

It's his shoulder, man. It says here, "if you don't relocate the shoulder," it could pinch off the blood, "and you could lose the arm."

I think is worse now. Adam...

Even the Geneva convention says that you've got to treat their wounds.

Maybe I should try again. Maybe no.

Maybe we should take him to a doctor.

That's brilliant. And then what are we going to say when they ask him who he is? Don't know.

We could say he's a relative visiting from... From Sweden.

We could say he's my uncle.

Okay, Danny's uncle.

Why does he have to be my uncle?

Jason, where are we going to find someone in the medical profession who's that stupid?

No. No way.


Diane! Diane! You got to help!

What? It's, Danny's uncle.

He dislocated his shoulder.

Well, is he here? Bring him in.

Well, we can't. He's from Sweden.

So? Well, if we bring him in, they're going to ask him who he is. So?

Well, Danny's uncle's a Swedish fisherman.

And they've put a ban out on him because of all the Swedish fishing boats that have been fishing illegally off the coast of U.S. waters. Adam.

It's been on the news. Adam.

Look, maybe you could just help him out or something.

Adam, what the hell are you talking about?

Okay, Diane, I'm going to try something new.

I'm going to tell you the truth.


I still don't see why he has to be my uncle.

Dr. Stitch, Dr. Patricia Stitch to pediatrics.

Diane, this is Mischa.

Mischa's a Russian sailor, and he's stranded here.

And if anyone finds out, he's totally screwed.

So we're just trying...


Dr. Engelberg.

Dr. Engelberg to proctology.


Here it is.

I knew it was in here somewhere.

Okay. Here's what we've got to do.

Now first, you're going to have to relax the muscles in your arm. Okay?

Then I'm going to put the book in your hand, and the weight will stretch the muscles, and your shoulder will slip back.

Dr. Mackleford.

Hi, Diane.

What's going on here?

It's, well, it's Danny's uncle.

He dislocated his shoulder.

All right. I'll take a look.

Well, no. He's from Sweden.

And he doesn't speak any english.

Does this hurt? Yes!

He speaks a little english.


I'm sure he'll be all right.

Thank you.

There's one more thing.

This is really gonna hurt.


This tastes like...

It tastes like America. Well, sure.

It's an American institution.

It's as American as apple pie.

Come on, you guys. We're wasting time.

What are you talking about?

You know damn well what I'm talking about.

Yeah, well, I think it's time we reconsidered.

Great, Adam. What do you want to do, get him a job at the gas station?

Or should we keep him in the backyard?

I know what we could do.

We could sell some tickets.

"Come see the Russian spy."

We should have turned him in at the beginning.

Okay. You want to turn me in so much, turn me in right now!

All right, Ivan, let's go!

Would you guys just cool it?

Hey, I say that we do this democratically.

Majority rules.

I vote that we don't turn in Mischa.

All in favor?

Well, not yet, anyway.

All right.

But what the hell are we going to do with him?

There is always such celebration in America?

Of course not. It's just the 4th of July.

What is meaning of this? It's independence day.

It's the anniversary of the American revolution.


Yeah! All right!


Okay. They're coming in.

All right!



Mischa, you saved America again.


Hey! What are you, homo or something?

You boys do not use hug to show this feeling of friendship?

No way, man. No.

Come on.

Come on, let's go.

Look how Danny looks! He looks funny!

I know, man. Look at that.


I have no words to thank you for this day.

It's like part of me was sleeping and now is awake.

America takes such big bite of life...

Such big color and music...

And freedom.


Man. I got to go lie to my folks for another day.

Shit. My dad.

You lucky bastard.

You got the best setup of all.

Stay here with Mischa.

And we'll meet you back here in an hour.


What Adam means, best setup of all?

My parents are getting...

Well, are divorced.

Divorce? Well, see...

My dad, he doesn't live with my mom anymore.

So I can pretty much do whatever I want.

And this is best setup of all?


Hey, Neidermeyer, want to clean this sucker for me?

Give you half.

Hey, raimy, can't eat those.

What? Manta ray.

Tastes like shit.

I knew that.

Look. He's dyin'.

Nah. Those suckers live forever.

Can't kill it with just one shot.

Since when are you such an expert?

I say it's dyin'.

Okay, you say it's dyin'.

And 10 bucks says it'll live for half an hour.

You're on.

What do they do?

They're bettin' on when it's going to die.


Hey, raimy, took a lickin', but...

We'll just see, fat boy.

We can't just let it die. What can we do?

Stop! Mischa!

Who the hell are you?

Hey, asshole, I'm talking to you!

You some kind of Greenpeace commie?

Talk, asshole!

Mischa, hit him.



What kind of name is that?

Mischa, come on!

Come on, Mischa. Hit me.

Come on, Mischa. Lay one on me!

Cool it, raimy.

This isn't over. I'll get you, asshole.

Mischa, come on.

Come on! Come on!

Cool it, guys!

Danny? Danny?

Quick. In here.

Mischa, you were great!

No, is very bad.

I am stupid. No way!

Listen, I am Soviet in America.

These men are American military.

They see me. They hear my name.

I almost fight with them.

This could be act of war.

My friends, this day has been very wonderful.

Like holiday.

And I forget almost where I am and who I am.

But now I am... How to say?

Between a rock and a roll.

A hard place.

Yes, a hard place and a roll. Spasibo.

I cannot go home.

Now I see that I cannot stay here.

I would be discovered in time, and this would be very bad for all of us.

For you just to be with me would be...


I think that you have answer from beginning, Danny.

You will turn me over to authorities.

Adam. Yeah?

Could you come here a minute, please?

I've been looking at this book you boys found.

I'm convinced you're on to something. What?

I'm sorry I didn't believe you before.

This is the real thing.

Hi, dad.

Danny, why not tell me what is idea?

'Cause I don't know if it's going to work until I...

Come on, kids. Let's go.

All right.


Come on! In here! What?

What? That was my dad!

Your dad? I would like to meet him.

No, you wouldn't! He hates...

Hey, give me a beer, will you?

Come on, get in here. Okay.



From out of town?

How do you like our fair city?

Well, my friend, here's to being alone on the 4th of July.

"No way! No way!"

Yes way.

I'll tell you. I'll tell you about being alone.

Alone is being an 11-year-old boy in Hungary in 1956.

Christ. 11 years old.

Still in shorts, going to school, interested in nothing but...

Kid stuff.

I belonged to a radio club, not knowing what politics is all about...

What it meant...

Except that my father used to go to meetings that I was forbidden to ask about.

He seemed worried all the time.

And then the Russian tanks rolled in, and I found out why.

The last thing that my father ever did was throw a rock at a tank.

Can you believe it?

A rock.

He just went crazy.

And this Russian soldier, he comes out of the tank, and he just...

A rock.

Mom, why couldn't I have gone to Carrie's house?

Because today is a family day.

Yeah, but what about Danny?

He's with your father.

No, he's not. He lied.


What? Hi, Jeannie.

No, no, no. He's not here right now.

Some sort of summer project.


He did?

There isn't?


Hey, how's it going, Mr. V.?

What's that? No, I haven't.


How would I know where they are?

I don't know anything about it.

Jason? He's right here.

That's right, Jack. He's home.

Lawn and weed patrol.

We'll have to do fuel consumption calculations, get the weather report.

But I don't know what we're going to do about the coast guard on the way back.

Man, we're in big trouble!

Quiet! There they go.

Yeah, but listen. I mean big trouble!

Hey, Jason, you still got all those navigation maps and stuff?

Yeah, but listen...

You know, the sounding charts for the keys and the Southern waters?

Would you clowns listen to me for a minute?

Our parents... they're all talking to each other.

They're looking for us right now!

Doesn't really change anything.

If anything, it makes the plan more valid.

What are you guys talking about?

We're taking Ivan... Mischa...

To Cuba on the American dreamer.

And you're driving.

Down to there, over to here.

Okay. Curve over there. Yeah, down.

Moving northwest.

15 knots.

Moderate seas.

Yes! Look!

Okay, yeah.

I am radio operator on Soviet Navy surveillance ship.

What do you mean, surveillance?

A goddamn Russian spy ship, that's what!

Let him finish!

What's all this about the Russians landing?

Where are the boys? Where's Adam?

Now, Cathy, don't panic. We just found some evidence, that's all.

What do you mean evidence? Everything's fine. Don't worry about it.

Who are you calling?

The president.

We're taking Mischa to Cuba.

You're what?

We're taking Mischa to Cuba.

Are you crazy? You can't go to Cuba.

We're just going to drop him off.

Look, Diane, it's only 86 miles in calm seas.

And that's including the 12-mile limit, which we don't have to cross, anyway.

Because Mischa's going to do that part in the dinghy.

We've got it all worked out.

Well, most of it, anyway. Adam.

Come on, you guys. We got to... She knows.

Where is he? He's safe.

He better be. Everyone in town is looking for Russians.

Our folks found the tape. And the gun.

Okay. Well, we're just going to have to move faster.

We got to leave while everyone watches the fireworks.

That gives us until 2130 hours.

We're gonna set 2010 right now.

You guys are crazy.

But, Diane, there's nothing else we can do.

Mischa can't stay here.

We can't just turn him in. He's Mischa.

If you want to help, the best thing you can do is take care of Mischa while we get ready. No problem.

Yeah, I didn't think it'd be too hard to talk her into that one.

Where is he?

Look, just keep him out of trouble and we'll meet back here in 20 minutes.

Where is he? The Fisherman's pier.

Come on!



How's your shoulder?

You have repaired it well.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Hi. Anyone get word?


That gun has me worried.

I think we better find them fast.

Let's get in the cars. We'll split up.

Pocketknife. Check.

Flashlight. Check.

Nestle crunch. Check.

Hut, hut. Move out!


Mischa, come on, it's time!

They started the fireworks early. We've gotta move.

But, Diane, before we go, you got to do one more thing.

You've got to run interference while we take Mischa to the boat.

No, I want to go with you. Diane, please, it's our only chance to get Mischa to Cuba.

Come on, we got to go. Okay.



Not good. Bad-bye.

Let's go! Come on!

Come on! Come on!

Let's go, hurry!

Hello, Mischa.

How does he know Mischa? Don't ask.

Get the kids out of here.

Leave him alone. Yeah, man, what's your problem?

Who are these, Mischa, your bodyguards?

Leave him alone. You're hitting his bad shoulder.

Hurt it lifting something?

Hey, stop it!

All right, asshole.

Run, boys! No, men.

"Sgt. Slammer," number 99!

You men. Yeah!


Good job, men.

So cool.

That was really cool.

My knee.

There it is, straight ahead.

It's the biggest one out here.

Hey! Wait!

Wait, stop! Come back!

Get back here! No! No!

I thought you said it was going to be here.

Yeah, well, I thought. Way to go, Ace.

Hey, give me a break. Nobody's perfect.

Yeah, especially you. Shut up.

I'm the one who put together this whole thing.

Yeah, and look at it now, you wuss.

You homo. Geek.

Dickhead. You asshole. Come on.

Boys, boys, boys! Enough fighting.

Is not fault. Is done.

Mischa, I'm sorry.

What are we going to do?

I don't know.

Mischa? Couldn't you just stay here?

It's nice here. You could live with us.

You are very generous, my friends.

But you love your country and your families, yes?

Well, is same with me.

Someone's coming.

Let them come.

What is difference now?

They've got guns, man.


Boy, I thought a lot of ways of Russians, but I never thought they'd look like shriners.

Guys, you know what I'm thinking?

I'm thinking, "what if Mischa's" just been leading us on all this time?

"I mean, what if he's just been acting..."

Boys! I go home! My ship not gone, just waiting.

Mischa, that's great.

Yes, it come in six hours.

We go meet in boat, yes?

Mischa, the American dreamer's gone.

No, no, no, no. No, only need small boat. We go in pt-109.

No way.

Yes way.

My dad's got a boat.

Boys, you do wonderful thing.

I am so excited. Where do we get boat?

We'll get it, no sweat.

Come on, men. Duty calls.

You guys don't need me.

I'd better stay here.

Well, okay.

You guys just lay low till we get back.

Is bitchin', yes?


Yeah, well, fine, lieutenant.

You do what you have to, and I'll do what I have to.

My kid's still missing.

Yeah, that's the way, Jack.

That's the way I feel about it.

You got the right idea.

If anything happens, we'll hunt those bastards down ourselves.

Hey, you know, maybe everything's okay.

Well, maybe the Russians are just stranded here.

They're probably as worried and frightened as we all are.

I mean, we're all just people.

You know, just sitting around here waiting is going to make things worse.

I think we ought to get in my boat and go back out to that island.

What are you doing? Stop it!

Stop him!

Mischa! Sulock!

Stop it. Mischa!

I'm sorry.


Adam, would you let me do it? You're flooding it.

Back off, Clyde! I'm doing it!


Adam, come on. Somebody's coming.

Come on, baby.

Hey! Hey! It's them.

The kids? The Russians.

I'm calling the base. Use my car phone.

You think there's really been a Russian landing?

I hope so.

Somebody's trying to come in the fence.

Let's go, men! Move it!

Hold it, soldier.

Sorry, sir. Corporal.


I want every available man in a Jeep and moving in 30 seconds. Let's go! Yes, sir... corporal!

Soldier, I want you to take responsibility for arming these men!

Me? Move it! Move it!

Corporal raimy, telephone call for you.


At 2310, the enemy violated the perimeter, but the base is secure.

In pursuit.

What? In boats?

Come on, we're going to the base. The base? Why?

The Russians, they tried to infiltrate.

The base? I thought they were in the boat.

I knew it. I knew it.

It's an invasion... Nuclear winter.

What about the kids? Was there shooting?

I don't know, but you know who's running security up there?

That clown raimy. Let's go!

I'm telling you, Adam, that sounded like shooting.

Jason, you know what your problem is?

You're always worrying about something.

You know, things do go right once in a while.



I told you. I told you. You can't trust a Russian.

What happened? Where's Mischa?

I'm trying to tell you. He and his comrades tied me up and went out towards the base.

Mischa? Our Mischa?

No, my aunt Mischa. Would you guys untie me?

I don't know. I just can't believe...

Mischa, what the hell's going on here?

Boys, listen to me, you must trust what I say.

I am friend to you.

And I will always be friend to you, but friendship now is prevented by...

By stupidity.

Now going home is not happy thing.

Now is lucky if nobody killed.

Danny. Danny! Danny! Can't you understand?

Can't you forgive?

You go.


Go! Call for help.

Tell where we are, if this is what you must do.

I put our future in your hands, my friend, in your heart.

I know is safe there.

Your head doubts, Danny, but your heart... Your heart I trust.

My god, will you look at this.

It all made so much sense.

They were going to steal a boat and take him to Cuba.

Move it, move it! Let's go! But, mom, I'm really worried because something must have gone wrong.

Don't worry, sweetheart, the boys will be okay.

Well, I know that.

But it's Mischa I'm worried about.

Is everybody crazy?

They must have taken my boat to Cuba.

Damn. I sent raimy after them.

We've got to help them. How?

Borrow someone else's boat.

I knew that.

Let's get those vehicles in here!

Move it. Move it. Move it.

What are you doing on my dock?

Trying to stop a Russian invasion. Now, get out of the way.

I assume you have some paperwork on this?

Paperwork? I don't have time for paperwork.

I want to see your orders, corporal.

No papers, no boats.

You stupid asshole. I can't believe this.

Believe it, dude.


Sgt. Slammer. Sgt. Slammer, open up.

Look, I know you're really not sgt. Slammer, but you're the only person in the world that can help me.

My friends are out there, and they're about to be creamed.

You've got to warn them. Stop them.

They're going to be killed.

You've got to fly, sgt. Slammer.

You've got to fly.


Sgt. Slammer?

Sgt. Slammer, wake up.

Wake up.

Got 'em! Where?

Over there. Moving fast.

Don't look like Russians to me.

Looks like people.



Over there!

Hello, Mischa.

Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!

Corporal, what the hell is going on here?

Russians, sir! And I caught them.

Hi, dad. Not now.

Corporal, put that weapon away.

Sir, I don't think that's such a good idea.

Are you questioning my orders?

Yes, sir!


Where's Danny?




Look out! What the...?

Freeze, asshole! Danny!



What the hell was that? I don't know.

Freeze, asshole!

Nobody moves, no way. Yes way!


Danny? Dad! Dad, he's been hit!

Danny, you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Mischa's down there. You got to save him!

Go back to the boat. Okay.




Dad? This is Mischa.

We've met.

Dad. Dad!

Look at it. Alpha class!

You're crazy, man. That's a Victor III.

Man, not again.

This is not going to happen, corporal.

Not tonight.

And if you want to do some more shooting, corporal, you're going to have to shoot through me first.

That goes for me, too!

Honey, no!

So put it down!

Put your gun down.

Yeah, put it down. You heard the man.

You bozo.

Put your gun down.

Put it down!

Put it down!

Thank you.



How many times do I have to tell you?

The goddamn device is back at the base.


Come in, captain.

Do you or do you not need backup assistance?

Negative. Negative. We do not require backup assistance.

Negative on backup?

That's right... False alarm.

You're in deep shit, Jack.

You acted without authority, disobeyed a direct order, and you could have gotten people killed here last night.

Now, you will be court-martialed.

How's your arm? Is it okay?

Only wound.

Wounds heal.

I never thought I'd...

That is...

Thank you.

Thank you for my son.

Thank you...

For my life.




It's time. You must go.

Will we ever see you again?

I do not know.

Is possible.

But I take you home with me...

In here.

Bye, Mischa.

Goodbye, Jason.


Goodbye, Adam.

Do svidaniya, drug moi.

"It was time for prince vasili to go," and the comrades with whom he had campaigned so valiantly drew close.

About them, the sound of the weary men hung in the cold air as the soldiers tended their horses.

The man they had come to call their friend smiled.

'You must remember what I've done here today, ' he said, 'and keep it close to your heart.

There are those who may think it dishonorable, but I succeeded in uniting all parties.

And besides, my idea is simple and clear.

I say let those who love what is right join hands and let our whole watchword be action and virtue.' prince vasili nodded once to his company, "and without a further word, he turned and walked away."