Same Boat (2019) Script

How about a little sunscreen action here?

There we go.

All right, so tell me your name?

David.

Boule.

Do something fun.

Something like sexy.

Uh huh and what would you say if I were to tell you that I slept with another man last night?

Come on, drama.

Don't do that on our honeymoon.

Come on.

I didn't.

It's our honeymoon.

But I did.

While we're on our honeymoon, please.

But I didn't.

I don't wanna work on the realism television while we're on our honeymoon please.

It's called reality TV.

Okay, whatever it is I just like, I wanna be intimate and like together and like come on.

Just give me a hug. Oh my God no.

Get away from me.

What are you doing?

Ew.

Oh my God.

Happy honeymoon.

Happy honeymoon.

Beautiful day, huh?

Yeah.

Leah, right?

Leah Boule.

Yeah.

Sorry I don't think I know you.

Hey babe, Roman David sculptor?

Not Michelangelo though.

Doesn't fit.

Bernini.

Oh.

Yeah, it fits.

Ah, what the?

Now?

Yes, Mot, now.

What are you doing?

Help, get off me.

You got this, Mot?

Who are you?

Get off me.

Hey, that's my fruit.

You're living in the golden age of fruit, man.

Leah.

Baby, help.

She died peacefully.

What?

We work in television.

We just put in a in ground pool.

Beautiful.

Let me up.

Sorry for the delay.

I was gonna swim.

Goddamn.

I messed up, huh?

No, it's all right.

Mission complete.

I'd love to redo this mission.

He would die.

Yeah but if I didn't?

Yeah, but I just want you to be sure you know that if you redo a mission, you die.

I just rather not humiliate these people even if they are bad.

I think all the trouble started from your hesitation.

I just wanted to be sure.

I know but in general, once you get started, it's best for everybody if you just go for it.

What?

These two would've created reality television, warping people's ideas of what is real and accelerating the corrosive effects of capitalism leading to personal and political cataclysm.

Yeah, they're bad for humanity.

They're not bad people.

There's a difference.

You're gonna write that down?

Yeah.

I'm sorry if I messed up today.

Chin up, Mot.

There's always more people to kill.

Come on.

Oh my gosh.

I've taken 900,000 steps this month.

Isn't that crazy?

Like, how do I do the extra steps?

You know what I mean?

What was I doing?

Maybe I was at the mall or something.

I don't even remember.

I would've thought maybe like 800,000.

Rob.

But 900,000 steps crazy.

Rob.

Yeah, buddy.

Don't.

Not supposed to call you buddy.

I think this was a mistake.

I'm breaking up with you.

But.

We just hit sail.


I got you some ice.

What am I supposed to do with that?

I don't know.

Okay.

Do you get seasick often?

I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay.

How you feeling?

Sometimes after I vomit, I feel rejuvenated.

Just take care of it.

I prefer to have you come along.

You know, for learning.

What do you think?

Think I wanna be alone.

Oh okay.

Sure.

Turn off the lights.

And leave a bucket for my vomit.


Mot.

Mot.

Hey, Mot.

Mot.

Mot.


Oh, excuse me.

Say I wanted one of those.

I wanted one of those.

Sorry.

Idiomatic joke.

Ah, that's really good.

Thank you.

How do I get one?

Oh, you just go over there.

You get a cone.

You pull a lever.

Who do I pay?

No one.


Come on, buddy.

Time to wake up.

Get up, shit head.

Hey. Easy, Katja.

Come on.

Let's get you back to your room.

What time is it?

It's 7:00 a.m.

Oh no.

If you're worried about missing church, there's another service at 4:00 p.m.

Okay, look at this guy.

He's not worried about missing church.

He is an atheist.

Who's to say?

Who's to say?

No, she's right.

She's right.

I'm an atheist.

Although, I'm interested in Buddhist thought.

Who fucking isn't?

You know, Richard Gere's a Buddhist.

Richard Gere?

Richard Gere?

Anyone?

Maybe he's a Taoist.

I don't know.

I gotta go.

Yeah, no shit Sherlock.

That is what we've been saying to you.

Katja, please just watch.

Okay.

Oh, sorry.

It's okay.

Have to clean these now.

Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh.

This could be you but you playing.

My papers blew away.

I got locked out and I had to sleep outside, so it was a rough night.

Oh, you smell.

Yeah, I think I had a pepperoni.

Here.

Well, I feel worse than yesterday.

I threw up like seven times.

I got this.

Ugh, this is just what I need.

Hey, I think my abs got strong from all the puking.

Here, check it out.

Nice.

Hit me.

I'm not gonna hit you.

Try it.

Ugh.


Wait a minute.

James.

Hey man.

Hi, do you know?

Hey, yeah.

Last night we met.

You were pretty drunk.

Oh yeah?

I stopped you from eating some calamari that you found.

Oh thanks.

Well, you actually ate it anyway.

Oh.

And then you gave me some great advice about my broken heart.

Oh yeah?

What I say?

You said live it up.

You're in a golden age.

You're a single man on a cruise in the twilight of America.

Yeah, it sounds like something I'd say.

You just saved my life.

What do you mean?

Yeah, I was gonna jump off the boat.

Classic vacation suicide.

How is that classic?

Oh you don't know?

In the past 13 years, over 200 people have gone missing from cruise ships.

Anyway, I'm thinking of giving up.

What?

What about my advice?

I just keep thinking all the things she's doing right now and it kills me.

You know, camping with some guy.

Dancing.

She drops her umbrella and he helps her pick it up.

Reading together.

They go to a slumber party and she puts...

Listen.

Hey, listen.

She can't be doing all of these things at once.

Feels like she is.

The person that you love can only be doing one thing at any given time and it's probably not even the thing you're afraid of.

Sorry.

Your arm's a little heavy on my shoulder.

Yeah okay.

Hey, you excited for pie?

What?

Key West tomorrow.

Key lime pie.

I'll buy you a slice.

Oh, I don't think I'm gonna be here actually.

Damn, I love it.

You're a mysterious dude.

You got that right.

You ever fucked a felon?

Excuse me?

Have you ever fucked a felon?

I don't think that's appropriate.

I came to sea to avoid appropriate.

You know what they said that the sea is the last bastion of truth and lewdness.

Quite the opposite actually.

Maritime law is far more severe than any land based law I'm aware of.

It's a bit part of the reason why I came out here.

Have you?

Been with a felon?

No.

Shocker.

My college boyfriend.

He burnt down his preschool.

As an adult?

No, he was four.

Still turned me on.

I like you, Katja.

Kiss me.

It's wrong.

I'm your boss.

There's rules.

Rules are for fools.

I'm afraid you'll hurt me.

I'm counting on it.


Oh.

What's this?

Oh, it's like a...

Wait, I know you.

Who do I pay for soft serve?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah, that's right. No shoes.

See, the carpet is really soft so.

This carpet?

Yeah.

I'm just trying to.

Eh.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Oh, are you enjoying your cruise?

Trying to.

Yeah.

Actually, do you know if there's a good quiet bar on this deck because I really need a drink.

I don't drink.

Okay.

Okay.

See you around.

Yup.

Do.

I stopped using toilet paper because it chafed my asshole.

You're a mess, Mot.

I know.

Can we leave?

Soon.

Tomorrow.

Okay.


Hey.

Thought I told you to get off my ship.

Just kidding.

You should see the look on your face.

It's not my ship.

Actually, a bunch of Greek dudes own all of the cruise ships in the world.

You mind if I join you?

Sure.

What are you doing all by yourself in the library?

I just wanted to find a quiet place to have a drink.

Oh, I'm Gary.

James.

James, nice to meet you.

Yeah.

James, let me ask you a question.

Do you like magic?

'Cause you look like a man who likes magic.

Can I do a trick for you real quick?

Sure.

Yeah, okay.

So I have to shake your hand again.

I totally screwed that up.

I should've shaked in your hand in the first place, but bear with me.

James, pleasure to meet you.

You look like you have the silver touch.

Oh, oh, oh, okay.

But I have the golden touch.

Oh crap, sorry.

Oh, it's right there.

You got it?

Yeah, I got it.

Sacagawea.

Nice.

Eh, it was okay.

Ah, I always get like you know nervous at the point of completion, you know.

So you're the cruise magician?

Funny story, no.

I actually I'm just in charge of polishing the rails and stuff.

General cleaning.

I kind of just throw the magic in for free.

Awesome.

Well you know, I believe in getting the job you don't want and then turning it into the job you do want.

Hey.

Heads up.

Well, well, well.

Oh hello.

Hi.

What's happening here?

Well this guy told me he doesn't drink.

Oh, he drinks.

He's drinking right now.

I know.

International waters, guys.

Spill 'em.

What?

It's a tradition.

When you first hit international waters, you tell all your secrets.

I'll go first.

This is really generous and nice.

I've actually been cultivating this fantasy of taking over the entire ship.

A mutineer.

Exactly.

So, I go down into the corridor past the engineers and like past luggage and stowage and then finally I get into the captain's room.

And I say I'm taking command of this ship.

Then I strangle him and I shower.

I put on his jacket.

You know the ones with like the golden.

Epaulets.

With epaulets, yeah.

Then I walk up to the deck and take the helm.

And then what happens?

Where do you go?

I don't know.

I don't know how to ride a boat, so I'm not gonna do it.

I'll see you guys.

Hey.

Well that was nice.

Yeah.

To international waters.

No rules.

For someone who doesn't drink, you drink extremely fast.

Tonight has been very nice and I'm gonna go to bed.

Guys, sorry.

There was a credit card minimum, so I had to get two more drinks.

Some day.

I love being on this boat.

It's growing on me.

I mean, it should be disgusting.

It's all this waste and consumption.

It isn't.

It's like.

Like I saw this grown woman screaming at her mother and it was like that is you as a 12 year old.

It was very sweet.

It's like life.

We're all just squished in here together.

We're trying to have fun.

Yeah.

What's your international waters secret?

Well.

No secrets.

Bullshit.

Okay.

My secret is I don't think I'm as good at my job as everyone else does.

What do you do?

It's hard to explain.

Okay.

Well what's your percentage?

What's my what?

Your percent.

The percentage of your job that you like and that fills you up versus the part that doesn't.

Like 18 or 20%.

That's the good part?

Yeah.

That's tough.

Oh yeah?

Yeah.

My percentage in the 70s.

Maybe even 80s.

Wow, that's very good.

I'm very good at my job.

I'm extremely good.

It's like I was born to do it, but there was a time though when it was really bad and I figured out a way to make it work.

What'd you do?

I just committed more of myself to the job.

I figured being half in, half out, that's a cop out.

So I just pushed through.

Yeah, that's smart.

Do you want another?

♪ There is a house in New Orleans ♪

♪ They call the rising sun ♪

♪ And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy ♪

♪ And God I know I'm one ♪ I was gonna say don't start too high.

Oh.

Was that too high?

Yeah, yeah.

All right.

You got this?

♪ My mother was a tailor ♪

♪ She sewed my new blue jeans ♪

♪ My father was a gambling man ♪

♪ Down in New ♪ Ooh, it's chilly out here in the waters.

Here.

No, I'm gonna stretch it out.

Whatever.

I make money.

Buy a new one.

Who cares?

Oh.

You are living in a golden age of detergent.

Really?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Kind of think I over wash my pants.

It's like I wash them every time I wear them.

Yeah, you should.

No. You should.

It's a golden age like I said.

What is with you and golden age?

Do I say that a lot?

Yeah, you really say it a lot.

Well, I read it once and I liked it.

I like how it sounds.

Golden age.

It's nice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I got that way with it's a live show, folks.

You know that one?

No.

What does that mean?

Like when I'm at work if like I do something and I make a mistake.

It's like it's a live show, okay folks.

Give me a break.

Hey.

Doing my best.

I'm a human.

Hey. Come on.

I like that.

I like it's a live show, too.

Hey, you wanna go up and see if there's stars?

I guess.

There are no stars tonight.

I'm drunk.

I mean, my eyes are as wide as they go.

There are no stars tonight.

I already said that.

Oh, I thought of that.

I didn't know if I had said that or thought it.

Or you had said it.

Lilly, I have another international waters secret to tell you.

I've been sent from the future to kill you.

Lilly.

Sorry, you seem so nice.

Golden age of not seeing stars.


Ugh.

I don't eat chocolate that's like any less than 75% kakow okay 'cause it's low class.

That chocolate is not for the crew.

It's for the guests.

They're not gonna miss what they never had.

So I heard you having sex last night.

Who'd you hear me having sex with?

Rupert.

Oh yes.

Yes.

Mhm yeah.

That was, that was.

He's been looking good and I like the way he smells.

I'm seeing tunnel vision right now.

Okay, come on.

No, the only thing I can hear is blood running through my ear veins.

Katja.

Okay.

Okay.

You're okay.

Yeah.

I thought we were something.

We are something.

We're animals.

I'm sweating so much right now.

Hell yeah 'cause you're an animal, too.

You can stop your body from passing out.

It's like you couldn't stop having sex with Rupert.

Well he did beg me to stop several times.

Hey Rob.

Rob.

Rob.

It's too tender, Lilly.

Listen, you know things weren't great.

We haven't been intimate in a very long time.

You mean romantic.

Yeah romantic.

Sex right.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

I know it's been awhile.

I just I thought I didn't need it anymore.

I know but I think maybe you do.

Do you?

I failed you.

No.

I failed you.

Or no one failed anyone.

What was the best part about being with me?

I never had to do anything.

What was the worst part?

I was constantly debating whether liked you or not.

What about me?

Best thing?

You listened to me.

And the worst thing.

You dumped me.

Next level enter.

Have fun on Key West, Lilly.

Don't forget your sunscreen.

I won't, Lilly.

I won't.


Jaime.

Hey, man.

Whoa, Rob.

What, the hat?

Too much?

Kara said I looked great in it.

Who's Kara?

She's the woman selling hats.

That shirt though.

I'm living 100% on impulse right now.

I took out all this cash to swim and snorkel with dolphins, but you know it's like John Lennon said.

Who knows what's gonna happen?

Hey man, I'm going to the Hemingway house.

Do you wanna come with me?

He killed himself.

Rob, you seem pretty amped right now.

Are you okay?

I just wanna thank you, man, for all the care and concern you've shown me.

You're a really good friend.

I have to run.

I don't wanna miss anything at the Hemingway house.

He killed himself.

Yeah, you already mentioned that.

Yeah, even after he wrote all those stories.

Well, he couldn't have done it before.

Hey.

Hey Rob, I'm worried about you.

I've met you twice and you've mentioned suicide three times.

I'll tone it down.

And.

I really think you should turn the shirt inside out.

Wherever you go there's bound to be kids.

And I think their parents should be the ones that teach them about...

Pounding pussy.

Yeah.

Okay, bud.

Okay.

You kill all these fish?

Who wants to know?

Aye, aye, aye, I ask the questions around here.

This is a goddamn bloodbath.

Go easy.

Once I started, I couldn't stop.

I came by your place this morning.

You weren't there.

Oh, work emails.

The law doesn't sleep I guess.

How'd you know I was a lawyer?

What?

Yeah, I'm a lawyer.

How'd you know?

Oh.

I don't know.

Maybe you said something last night.

Did I?

Shit, what else did I say?

Nothing much.

That boring?

Yeah, but it was wonderful boring.

Oh, this place is supposed to be excellent.

Great.

Hold on.

Wanna scope things out a bit.

I don't know when I'm gonna be here again.

I wanna make sure I get the best pie.

Okay.

Oh, let's check this one out.

Oh yeah.

Okay, I've got it.

Yeah, me too.

Yeah, ready?

Yeah.

This one.

Same one. Yeah.

That's it.

Oh yeah. This is it.

I'll always think of that as our favorite.

Of course you will.

Why wouldn't you?

Where's it from?

Key West, Florida.

Which store?

I don't know because all the pies have been mixed up.

This is good.

We're still free, right.

We've had the best pie, but we still don't know where it's from.

It's the best of both worlds.

You're a strange person, James.

That's why we get along so well.

Do we?

Yeah.

This is going really great for the both of us.

So tonight we have fancy dinner.

Who's we?

You and I together if you're in.

I'm in.

It's a date.

I'll date you.

Lilly.

You're gonna die, girl.


I got your Hemingway hats on sale for a buck.

I only got a couple left.

I'd be buried here.

Seems really peaceful.

There's coconuts here.

Strangers would come and visit your grave.

Exactly.

Seems nice.

Yeah, until the oceans rise.

That's not really gonna happen.

I think so.

Cool.

I'll be underwater.

Sounds great.

Lilly.

I really liked today.

Me too.

Sorry.

No, no, no.

I'm sorry.

I thought.

It was like.

You're with someone.

No, no, no, no.

I have this agreement with myself.

I'm just trying not to get involved with anyone right now.

Okay.

But I want to.

And you smell like key lime pie.

You smell like key lime pie.

You're an enabler.

We ate too much pie.

Way too much pie.


Hey James.

Oh Rob.

You okay?

Never better.

You got a date for fancy dinner?

Actually I do.

Do people really call it that?

Fancy dinner.

Fancy diners say fancy dinners.

You got a suit?

I don't but I don't feel like this is...

Hey, why don't you borrow one of mine?

No, I couldn't.

That's too generous of you.

It's all right.

It's good. Pish posh.

I lucked out.

They usually don't have extra rooms available, but somebody died.

Swish.

Ca-ching.

Nice.

You like my suits?

Yeah, they're great.

Which one are you gonna wear and then I'll just use whichever one you're not...

Oh, I shan't be attending fancy dinner.

What?

Come on, no.

You gotta come.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Here, I like this tie.

Thanks.

Allow me.

Father and son style.

Okay.

I know what you're doing on the boat.

What's that?

Lilly.

Do you have something you wanna tell me?

No.

Ow. Say it.

Say it.

Rob.

Rob, that's a little tight.

Rob.

Say it.

I saw you making out with Lilly, you son of a bitch.

Wait what?

Yeah.

My new best friend and my new ex girlfriend.

We weren't.

Your ex girlfriend?

Making out in the graveyard like a couple of sexy ghosts.

I didn't know that you and Lilly were together.

Yeah, we've been to all the bases if that's what you wanna know, you sicko.

Listen, Rob.

No.

No. I'm sorry.

It makes sense.

You're great.

Lilly's great.

It's just sad.

I could tell from the graveyard kisses that this is a good thing.

I had this stupid plan to sabotage you by giving you an ugly tie.

Here.

This one's nice.

It's very fancy.

It's a Kenneth Cole reaction.

Thanks.

You know, Rob, you are a nice guy.

You're very generous.

If it makes you feel any better, we didn't actually kiss.

Save it, Romeo Montague.

Thank you for making me a better person.

Thank you for making me fancy.

You can't make someone fancy if they weren't already.

I just showed you how fancy you already are.


Hi, room service please.


Hi.

What happened?

I got slammed with work.

I'm so sorry.

How was it?

I saved you some.

What is this?

Oh no.

That's so nice of you.

It's really romantic of you for this if it makes you think of me.

Do you wanna get whiskies?

I was gonna say do you wanna get ice cream?

Yes.

Ice cream and then drinks?

All right great.

Done.


So.

Dance.

I like how I feel when I'm with you.

You give me hope.

Hope.

Yeah.

You help me believe in the things that I wanna believe in.

Like what?

That good things can still come.

That life can get better all of a sudden.

Yeah.

I know what you mean.


When I'm with you I feel like I don't know have to divide myself against myself, you know.

I can just completely be the thing that I am.

This feels really good.

You know?

Gotta go.

What?

I gotta go do something then I'll come right back.

This is so weird.

I know but I'll be right back.

I'll be quick.

Are you gonna go jerk off or something?

No, masturbate?

No, no.

Why would you think that I would?

I mean, look at me.

No, I'm not gonna.

I mean, I know that the more that I talk about it, seems like I might do it but I'm not gonna do it.

I know a masturbator when I see one.

What can I say to you to prove that I'm gonna jerk off right now?

You just said it.

No, no, no, not jerk off.

Too late.

No jerking off.

Bye, bye, have fun.

All right, I'll be quick.

Be right back.

Okay.

Okay.

That's the last one. Okay.

I mean for now. Okay.

There'll be many more.

There'll be a lifetime of kisses after this.

Wow.

Well one casual evening of kisses and then we'll take it from there.

Did I give you the gift?

Shark mouth?

Yeah, I did.

Yeah. Good.

I like you.

I like you.

Oh Mot, you're feeling better.

Yeah, thank God.

We ready to go?

That's the thing.

I wanted to do something, but I wanted to talk to you first about it because I wanna be honest.

That sounds like something someone who hasn't been honest says.

No.

I think I'm in love.

With her?

Ow.

You let me stay here sick while you lied to me?

Mot, uncle, uncle.

Ow.

Yeah.

I was enjoying the cruise.

They have great fruit and endless ice cream.

Anyway, my papers blew away and I got a drink with Lilly and then today we almost kissed in a graveyard.

Well, that sounds romantic.

Yeah, it was.

Okay, well I'll do it then.

No, Mot, you don't understand.

I don't want you to do it.

You're on a cruise.

I'm sick.

The cat was away so the mouse did play.

You're not the cat.

I'm the cat.

The mouse got sick and the cat had free time for the first time in awhile, so he took care of himself for a change.

Our work is lonely but it is an honor to be...

Okay.

I get it. Not finished.

Chosen to travel through time.

The future trusts us to help them.

When I get gloomy, I just think of that trust.

Don't throw my own words back in my face.

Do you think it fulfills me to hold the hands of little brats?

To cover their fuck ups again and again as they continue to maim and traumatize and drive men to emotional breakdowns where they kneel on their backs.

James, I didn't mean to do that.

You didn't wanna get sick all over yourself?

Make me have to clean up after you.

Wait on you hand and foot.

Goddammit, Mot.

You think I'm a stupid brat?

No.

I'm sorry.

Are you okay?

I didn't mean that stuff.

That was wrong.

It won't happen again.

I will do it.

I can do it.

Can you?

You know I can.

Would a deadline help?

Maybe.

Okay.

Sunrise tomorrow.

No, there's a 7:00 a.m. yoga class I wanna check out, so let's say eight, 8:30.

Okay.

Everyone thinks you're the best.


James.

Yo, what's up, man?

Hey.

How's it going? What are you doing?

I'm just thinking.

Nice, nice.

Ah.

Can I show you a trick real quick?

Sure.

So, this is an ordinary cigarette, right.

Watch this.

Ooh.

What do you think?

I kinda hate it.

I think it's great.

You liked it?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm proud of it.

It's good.

You look sad.

I am sad.

Women?

No.

Well kinda I guess, yeah.

I knew it.

Here's my advice.

Keep your promise to whoever got there first.

I made a promise to one woman, but what about a promise to myself?

Well that sounds like you're talking about polygamy or at least that's what I'm getting.

Have you seen the motion picture "The Short Bus"?

No, what's it about?

I don't really know actually to be the more I think about it, but there are a lot of like really raw, explicit sex scenes with non actors in it so.

Anyway.

I guess I just feel trapped.

Well, do you know Harry Houdini?

Yeah.

Great.

Okay, this is perfect.

So he said and this is actually like perfect advice for your situation.

Kind of wish there was some other people here to see this.

You know?

Because it's so rare that you have like a perfectly apt, concise whatever, you know.

Anyways, he said that sometimes the task before me is very hard but one thought fills my mind.

To get free.

To get free.

The intoxication of that freedom that success is sublime.

Get free, huh?

Yeah, the success is sublime.

Well.

I gotta go.

Some kids have been clogging up the shitters and it's a fucking fiasco.

I'll tell you.

The things people do to toilets when they're on vacation.

It's vulgar.

They don't have to clean it up.

I have to clean it up.

I'll tell you.

I mean, human beings are complicated.

All right, goodnight, buddy.

You'll figure it out.

Hi.

Hi.

I wanna be with you.


I don't wanna get old.

You have to.

There's this Japanese phrase.

It's.

What's it mean?

Untranslatable.

Oh.

Yeah.

Well. Yeah.

No, it means like

sadness of time passing.

Come back to sleep.

Lilly.


I'm very hungry.

Me too.

I'll get us breakfast.

Okay, I'll come with you.

No.

I wanna help.

Stay.

Okay.

I'll BRB.

BRB?

Be right back.

Oh yeah, BRB.

Yeah.

Those are my pants.

Are they?

Have fun.


Housekeeping.

Someone's showering.

Wait, we'll come back later.

Wait.

Let's be bad.

Hey, Lilly.

How's it going?

Hi.

Can I show you a magic trick real quickly?

Absolutely, yes. Awesome.

Okay sweet.

So here, pick a card.

Okay.

Doesn't matter which one.

There you go.

All right, now put it in the middle of the deck.

There you go.

Now I'm gonna cut it once.

Okay.

All right.

And then I'm gonna cut it again twice.

Okay.

Is this your card?

No. No?

Oh, that's the instructions.

That's not even a card.

Okay, that's fine.

What about this one?

No, that's a joker.

That is a joker.

Dammit.

This one?

It's the joker again.

Another joker, crap.

Yeah.

It's a work in progress.

I liked the beginning.

Okay, that's something.

That's something.

I'll take it.

Yeah.

Actually, you know what?

Do me a favor.

Check your pocket.

Yeah. This pocket?

That pocket.

Check it.

Okay.

Oh. Right.

Tada.

What?

That's your card, yeah.

Yeah, I know.

That's really good.

Thank you.

What the hell is this?

The ace of spades.

Well the ace of clubs.

Or wow.

That's actually the best reaction I've ever gotten.

Who are you?

Hello, madam.

Busted.

Get out.

Get out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Got it, got it, got it.

Got no key and can't go wrong.

Who are these people?

Oh god.

Lilly.

Whoever she is, she's not better than you.

It's me.

Okay.

Lilly, I can explain this.

How'd you get this?

Get the fuck out.

Lilly, please.

Will you just listen?

Take all your shit.

Get the fuck out of here.

Listen.

I can explain.

Go.

You're wearing my pants.

Turn around.

Don't want you looking at me. But we already.

Yeah, yeah.

That's before I knew you're some kind of creepy fucking stalker.

How'd you find all this shit out?

Lilly.

This is a lot but just please.

Well first thing is I think I'm in love with you.

I mean I know I'm in love with you.

I love you.

And I'm also sent from the future to kill you, which I'm not gonna do.

I won't do it.

I just wanna stay here with you forever.

We can grow old together and be free.

Lilly.

Say something.

Put some pants on, James.

Mot, no.

I gotta do it, James.

Mot, please don't.

Stop, put it down.

Put down the device.

No.

Please.

No. Listen.

Look at your device.

Here, look at mine.

What's it supposed to say?

Pending.

What does it say?

There's three dots.

See.

Is this your wife?

Mot?

No.

Not my wife, no.

He's kind of my boss.

I think of it as more of like a mentorship or partnership.

Anyway, he's supposed to kill you.

What?

But he hasn't because he thinks he's in love with you.

But we're not in love.

We just met.

I feel it.

James usually spends a very short amount of time with the people that he meets and then he has to kill them.

So this past four days have been like a summer for James.

How did you expect to be able to kill her?

We don't have to do like.

Just everyone if we could just.

James?

I just.

James?

Hey James.

You all right?

I have vasovagal response.

I pass out when I panic.

Hi, door was open.

I'm coming in.

Lilly, your pants.

James, your pants.

Oh, I get it.

What do you get?

Sex stuff.

Hi, I don't know you.

I'm Rob.

I used to date Lilly and I'm new friends with James who now dates Lilly.

I'm Mot.

Oh, and what do you do, Ot?

Mot.

Mot.

She's a time traveling assassin.

Okay, I guess everyone's gonna know now.

So am I.

They're gonna kill me.

What?

She discovers a legal loophole that allows for rampant pollution.

Really?

Yeah. Yeah.

You get assassinated for that?

Rob, what are you doing here?

Oh, Lilly.

I wanted to see if you might still love me.

Sorry James.

I understand.

Rob.

I watched the sunrise and I thought even though we're not together, we still live on the earth in the same time together.

Statistically it's so unlikely.

Even though I'm sad I can't be with you, we're both so close on this boat.

I just felt purely grateful that I can see things as they really are even for a moment.

We're here together and that's incredible.

Well thanks, Rob.

So what do you think?

I'm not getting back together.

Is he a better kisser than me?

Okay, that's enough.

You know what?

I'm actually starving.

Does anybody else wanna get breakfast?

Rob, I don't think...

Actually I could eat.

Yeah sure.

Okay.

Great.

Hi, yeah.

We're gonna order some breakfast.

Can I get scrambled eggs and pancakes?

Do they do oatmeal?

Do you do oatmeal?

They do.

Great, some oatmeal.

The usual.

Two eggs over easy.

Rye toast well done.

A fruit plate, six hard boiled eggs, and ask about the breakfast sandwiches.

Do you guys do breakfast sandwiches?

Oh actually that sounds really good.

Can I cancel my order?

No scrambled eggs, no pancakes, and do one of those.

They have something called the cap.

It's called the ship's captain.

It's bacon, egg, and cheese on white bread with aioli.

Sure.

Great.

All right, fantastic.

I want pancakes.

In addition to or instead of the oatmeal?

Instead of.

You know what?

Let's 86 the oatmeal.

Go with some pancakes.

Recap.

Two ship's captain, six hard boiled eggs, one fruit plate, two eggs over easy, rye toast well done, pancakes.

Just get a mess of hash browns for everybody.

Great.

Thanks.

Screw it.

Shit, I forgot drinks.

I think you're nuts.

Makes sense to me.

These people are not from the future, Rob.

I don't know.

Are you familiar with Moore's law?

Every year technology doubles.

If we can land a rocket right side up, I don't see why we can't send people through time.

I mean, I'm not crazy about the whole killing people part.

It's insane.

Haven't figured it all out, but I think we discovered a way that we can change the future without killing people.

Like last night when we were talking I felt like...

Why didn't you kill me then?

Excellent question, Lilly.

I don't wanna kill you.

I like you.

Anyway, the plan was to kill you, but when we were talking last night about your secret self just doing nothing right before we.

What?

Nothing.

No, tell us.

We slept together.

Does that answer your question, Lilly?

Mot, hear me out.

Our device is supposed to say pending or complete.

Right now it says dot dot dot.

I think that means we don't have to kill you.

Or it means it's broken and we're trapped here forever.

Mot, we can change the future just by being kind.

By being good to people.

By helping them feel free to be whoever they are.

I know what you're talking about.

I was at Madison Square Garden and I started this let's go Rangers chant.

And I first it was only me, you know.

Let's go, Rangers.

But then a couple more people did it and then a couple more and all of a sudden everyone was doing it.

Let's go, Rangers.

And I looked around and I was like I did this.

I made all these people happy, you know.

And it wasn't even a hockey game.

It was a Billy Joel concert.

See?

See what?

That guy's story.

People just wanna feel like they're okay.

Lilly.

You're okay.

Rob.

You're okay.

Mot.

You're okay.

You know inside yourself the right thing to do.

Lilly.

What are you doing?

I'm just trying to trust my instincts.

I was just explaining to you what was happening.

Yeah, but you told me that once it gets going, it's better for everyone to just finish it.

We didn't have to kill her.

Yeah, but now we can leave.

Ah.

James?

Ah.

Ow.

I'm so sorry.

Sh.

Don't leave me.

I won't.

I'm here.

This is nice.

For $40 more dollars you get the balcony.

Here.

Read this.

No, read it out loud.

No, to me.

I'm dying.

Okay, okay.

Sh, sh.

Why did it take so long for me to get lenient?

What does it mean?

One life only?


Oh my god.

Water's perfect.

It's a little too salty though.

I don't like burning my eyes.

Ah, that's awful.

Oh, I shouldn't.

You still sad?

Yeah.

What happened?

Just killed everybody I ever loved.

Yikes.

Now what?

I don't know.

Come on.

You need a swim.

Let's go.

Come on.

In the water, buddy.

Beautiful friendship.

I have a time traveling question.

Yeah.

Why didn't you kill Hitler?

We did.

We killed Hitler like 400 times.

I don't know.

There's still a Hitler.

Yeah well the person who does whatever Hitler does, kind of keeps coming up.

It's like at school when the bad kid was absent, someone else would step up and be bad.

God, that's depressing.

Hey, why don't you just go back in time and save your friends?

If we redo a mission, we die.

Why?

Well, think of it like you're on a roller coaster.

You wanna go back to the beginning of the roller coaster.

You can but you take some of the track with you, so that when you get back to that point of the track, you fall off then you die.

Oh, you take the track with you.

Yeah.

Yeah actually you know, my favorite part of a roller coaster is always the ascent

'cause that's the only time you can talk to the people around you.

The rest of it's just screaming, puking, and barfing.

Hey, see how long I can hold my breath for.

Where you going?

I gotta go talk to other people on the ride.

There's no roller coasters in Cozumel.

No, remember the metaphor we were just talking about?

You're going back in time?

Yeah.

Take me with you.

Why?

I lost my wallet.

Where's the last place you remember having it?

But now it's all wet.

You're a good person, James.


Hey.

Hey.

Great work.

Oh, thank you, sir.

This might not make sense, but take your wallet out of your pants before you go swimming in Cozumel.

Okay.

Did you get the ice?

You look different.

I got you some Dramamine and an egg.

Mot, I'm redoing this mission.

Already, what happened?

No, I mean, I already restarted it.

James, why?

Is this my blood?

Yeah.

Did I die?

Yes.

How did I die?

A tiny knife.

Lame.

So you came back to save me.

I came back to teach you something.

Okay, what's the lesson?

We don't have to kill people.

We can make them change through kindness and attention.

Wow, that sounds really weak.

I know.

I got part of the way there, but then it went bad.

How?

It's not important.

It's good to see you.

Do you have a second to talk?

Hi.

Lilly.

Nice to meet you.


You do good work.

Had a good teacher.

Here.

This is yours, but I wrote you something.


So what are you gonna do now?

Enjoy the cruise I guess.


They really didn't leave any color behind.

Yeah, I'm just trying to find a way to enjoy these.

These aren't real paintings.

These are prints that some computer puts paint on top of to make them seem real.

It's capitalism at work.

Well, now I can not like them and not feel bad for the artist.

It's just computers somewhere.

It's a relief.

No, that's a leather-graft.

Guitar joke.

It's very good.

Thank you.

Well, enjoy trying to enjoy them.

Will do.


There they are.

You see this?

You know, she was my mentor for awhile.

She really that good?

Oh yeah.

People just instantly connected to her.

She hates boats.

Boats?

For me, it's spiders.

Yeah?

They move so quick and nothing should have that many legs.

Good point.

All right, let's go meet David and Leah Boule.

Are you really afraid of spiders?

Yeah, they're terrifying.


New?

Ready for pie?

What?

I said ready for pie.

You better hurry if you want pie.

Pie?

Pie, sir.

Key lime pie.

It's holly bistro.

It's pastry stroll.

It's very real.

We just stopped ashore at Key West and everyone's hungrily in search of pie.

I could get some pie.