Samurai Jack S1E12 Script

Episode XII (2001)

AKU: Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shape-shifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil.

But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword stepped forth to oppose me.

(SWORDS CLASHING)

Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future where my evil is law.

Now the fool seeks to return to the past and undo the future that is Aku.

Got to get back, back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out!

Got to get back, back to the past

Samurai Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Got to get back, back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out!

Got to get back, back to the past

Samurai Jack

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Got to get back

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack Watch out!

Got to get back

Jack, Jack, Jack

Samurai Jack

Watch out!

(KNOCKING)

Yeah?

MAN: Ricko Benny Giordano.

Come on in.

Welcome to the Blue Monkey.

(NIGHTCLUB BAND PLAYING)

(ELECTRIC BUZZING)


(SNIFFING)

(APPLAUSE)

Welcome, friends.

And a warm welcome to the Buddy Righteous Orchestra.

And, without any further ado, please welcome the lovely Lula Lillywhite.

(APPLAUSE)

(SLOW PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

We stood

Under the moon

We had to part too soon

What I'd give for you to say

You'll stay just one more day

(GUNS COCKING)

(WHOOSH)

(GUNS FIRING)

(SCREAMING)

(SINGING CONTINUES)

(GUNS COCKING)

(GUNS FIRING)

...eternally

I know while you're near me...

(LULA CONTINUES SINGING)

(EXPLOSION)

Okay, Mac, that's enough.

Nice and slow.

That's right. Put the butter knife away.

Come on. Move it before we throw you out.

MAN: Wait. Let him stay.

It's okay. Let him go. See? Yah.

You know, we could use a guy like you.

-"We?" Me and the boys, see?

Stitches, Mr. Shine, Mr. Pibbles, and Knuckles.

Yeah, well, actually, my real name is Joe--

Mr. Pibbles.

What exactly does your organization do?

Why, me and the boys, we sort of run things around this town.

Know what I mean? Yah. Yah.

Say, how'd you like to...

It's all right. You can put 'em down now.

How'd you like to be a member of the most feared gang in the city, see?

What activities does your "gang" participate in?

Stitches, break it down for him.

(CLEARS THROAT) Um.

We, uh, fix things.

Know what I mean?

Make sure the money goes to the right places around here.

The horses, casinos, banks.

You follow?

You are involved in crime.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Now, did I say that?

Enough has been said.

Your activities are of no interest to me.

I wish to be no part of your group.

(SPITS)

So, a prima Donna, eh?

Get out of here. Go on.

Beat it, altar boy.

What? Are you crazy? Are you out of your mind?

Nuts to do something like that.

Look at this guy, huh. I don't know.

Well, what are you all standing around for?

We got a delivery to make for Aku.

Do you mean the great and powerful Aku?

Of course. The master of darkness.

The shogun of sorrow. The big boss himself. Aku.

And you have dealings with Aku in person?

Sure. All the time.

What's it to you, anyway?

Please forgive me. I thought you were--

Small-time?

Well, no. I, uh--

Ah, so now Mr. Goody two-sandals feels like talking, eh?

Please understand.

I have spent my lifetime preparing to come face-to-face with Aku.

Fulfilling this goal would forever change my life.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

Okay, boy, we'll give you a shot.

But, uh, you gotta pass a little test first, see? Yah.

You know, to prove you got the stomach for it.

All right. Here's the skinny.

It's not a hard job, but your heart's gotta be in the right place, see?

One of our clients, see, hasn't been paying his protection money, yah.

So he needs to be rubbed out.

(MEOWING)

BOSS: Now you tell him that The Society for the Preservation of Animal Love has sent a surprise gift, yah, as a token of appreciation for his ongoing love of animals, see?

Then you got about 20 seconds to hightail it outta there and then it's bang.

(CHUCKLES)

The gift that keeps on giving.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Well, kid, how'd it go?

It went exactly as planned.

The old man took the package, I said my lines exactly as I was supposed to.

He never suspected a thing, after which I immediately left the premises.

He never knew what hit him.

You should not be concerned with any further payment problems with your clients.

Pretty cold-blooded, kid.

I'm impressed, see? Yah.

A price must be paid for disobedience.

(LAUGHING) I like this guy.

BOSS: Boys, meet Jackie, the blade.

(BOYS WHISTLING AND CHATTERING)

BOSS: With all the accouterments, see?

Yeah, great. How come he gets the cool name?

All right, you knuckleheads, listen up.

We're here to talk about a very big job.

One of very special interest to the big boss himself.

Aku?

That's right, Jackie.

Now nobody's ever pulled this one off, see?

But with you on our side, we'll smoke it.

And we will get to meet Aku?

Mm-yah, not only will we get to meet him, but if we pull this off successfully, the big boss will make us richer beyond our wildest dreams, see?

Boys, say hello to the Public Works and Utilities building.

Hello!

It's a well kept secret that deep inside this building lies the legendary Neptune jewel, see?

And it's our job to get it out.

You mean, uh, we gotta fit inside that little thing?

What is the importance of this jewel?

Here's the short version, Jackie.

Long before you was born, or I was born, or anybody was born, the Neptune jewel was kept inside this mountain, see?

Now legend has it, it was placed there by an ancient spirit who gave the jewel special powers that would give it control over all the waters of the world, see? Yah.

Naturally, Aku wanted the jewel's power so evil could control the world, which it should.

But then this no-good goody two-shoes good-for-nothing got in the way, see? Yah.

I don't know how she did it, but she beat our boss.

(EXPLOSION)

And she summoned the forces of nature to guard it.

Earth...

(THUNDERCLAP) wind...

and fire.

And so earth, wind, and fire have guarded the jewel for centuries, see? Yah.

Making it impossible for Aku to get his hands on it.

And since the big boss himself couldn't close the deal, it's been centuries since anybody's even thought about it.

So, you see, see?

You'd have to be pretty nuts to try to swipe the Neptune jewel, yah.

At least that's what I thought... until I saw Jackie here in action.

The way you cleaned up them robot thugs back at the Blue Monkey made me think we're just nuts enough to pull this one off.

So, are you game, Jackie?

To stand in Aku's presence, I would consider no feat too great.

(ALL CHEERING)

All right, here's the plan, Jackie.

We strike this Sunday at midnight, see?

(SQUEAKING)


(WATER SPLASHING)

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

(WATER SPLASHING)


(BUZZING)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)


(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)


(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES)

(CRASHING)

You will never possess the Neptune jewel.

You will not escape.

Come and get me.

Insolent fool!


(SWISHING)


(SCREAMING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, look.

He did it!

Hey, you did it, Jackie boy.

How 'bout that?

That's really something.

Who dares to summon...

Oh, it is you.

Uh, yes, uh, you see, uh--

Do you forget that you are forbidden to come here?

(STAMMERING) Uh, yeah, boss, I know.

But this time we, we really got something.

Something big, see?

What can you possibly have that the all-mighty Aku cannot attain?

The jewel of Neptune.

What? It cannot be!

The power to control all the water of the world!

Only for you, my Lord.

Yes, it truly is a magical jewel.

But how did such an elusive treasure come in to your possession?

Well, it wasn't easy, master, but we, uh, got a little help from our newest member.

Come on out, Jackie.

Jackie?

Actually, it's Jack.

You!

(GRUNTING)

Uh, what the heck is going on, man?

You will not defeat me so easily.

(GRUNTS)

Yes, it won't be easy, but it will be worth the effort.

(GRUNTING)

The sword!

Uh, why is Jackie fighting the big boss, boss?

I don't know, see, but we better save Jackie before he ain't no more.

(GRUNTING)

(GROANING)

(GASPS)

(GROANING)

No tricks will save you this time, Aku.

(CLOCK TICKING)

(GROANS)

Aku?

Easy there, Jackie boy.

What? Where am I?

What happened?

(LAUGHING)

Can you believe this guy?

What happened, Jackie, is that we saved your life.

You what?

Well, you see, you lost your mind back there and started to duke it out with the big boss himself.

So, uh, we nailed you over the head, man.

(LAUGHS) Wham!

Lights out, and, uh, here we are.

Yeah, and we saved you before Aku had a chance to put you out of commission permanently.

I cannot believe this!

What's not to believe?

We saved you like you saved us.

No! You do not understand!

You must take me back immediately.

Aren't you listening, Jackie?

We can't take you back.

Aku would destroy you, see? Yah.

Besides, we couldn't even if we wanted to.

When we dragged you out, Aku's castle disappeared.

Who knows where it'll pop up next?

Hey, what's all this about, anyway?

You got some kind of death wish or something?

No, you don't understand!

(SIGHS) I have deceived you.

Hey, you mean, uh...

You ain't one of us, man?

No. You are criminals.

It is not honorable.

You see, long ago this land was good.

Its people, honest, but then Aku came...

It does not matter.

My quest continues.

I am sorry about the deception, but it had to be done.

Now, if you please, the jewel.

Uh, we don't have it, see?

Uh, we gave it to Aku.

Mr. Pibbles?

Uh... (LAUGHING)

Yeah, during all the, uh, commotion I, uh, I kept it, you know, for, uh, safe keeping.

Thank you. I must return it to its proper place.

Wait, Jackie, uh, let us do it.

Why? Well, uh, all this crime business has suddenly put a, a bad taste in my mouth, yah.

Yeah, we're going legit, see? Yah.

And for our first gig, we're gonna return the jewel.

It's the honorable thing to do, yah.

I feel you will be happier on the path of righteousness.

Good-bye.

(DOOR CLOSES) Yeah, I think we will, too.

Sucker!

Step right UP!

Get your water right here only.

Five hundred smackers per ounce.

(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

Watch out!

Got to get back, back to the past

Samurai Jack

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Got to get back, back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out!

Got to get back, back to the past

Samurai Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Got to get back, back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out!

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Watch out!

Got to get back

Jack, Jack, Jack Samurai Jack

Watch out!