Samurai Jack S3E1 Script

Episode XXVII (2002)

AKU: Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shape-shifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil!

But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword stepped forth to oppose me.

(SWORDS CLASHING)

Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time, and flung him into the future where my evil is law!

Now the fool seeks to return to the past and undo the future that is Aku!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ Gotta get back

Back to the past Samurai Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back Back to the past

Samurai Jack Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Gotta get back Back to the past

Samurai Jack Watch out

Gotta get back Back to the past

Samurai Jack Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Gotta get back Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back Jack, Jack, Jack

Samurai Jack

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack Watch out

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Yeah, and so I was saying...

Whoa! Look out, man! (BELL CLINKING)

How much did you say this was?

(BELL CLINKING)

It's free! (TIRES SCREECHES)


(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Looks like there's a storm brewing.

Indeed. How much for the soup?

Was it the fish?

No. Chicken. (COINS CLINK)

Thank you.

Oh, excuse me. I did not see you there.

That's it!

People, always bumping into me.

Always!

Oh, great. Just what I wanted to do today.

Go get another manicure.

(CLUCKING)

Hey, you dirty chicken!

Look what you did to my pant leg!

I'll show you.

(LAUGHTER)

Please. I wish you no harm.

(CLUCKING)

(SLURPING)

(COUGHING)

(LAUGHTER)

This is the silliest chicken I've ever seen in my life!

(LAUGHS)

(HONKING)

(TRUMPETING)

Hmm.


Could it be?

No.

(ELECTRICITY BUZZING)

That sound.

(CLUCKING)

(BELL CLINKING)

You! You in the robe!

(CLUCKING)

I demand that you cease your walking this instant.

(CLUCKING)

(BELL CLINKING)

You look like a good chicken, and I know a good chicken when I see one.

(LAUGHS)


(RUMBLING)

(CLATTERING)


It's time, chicken.

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

(CROWD CHEERING)

All right, you swines.

The chicken pays two to one.

Place your bets.

Place your bets.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(CROWD CHEERING)

(CROWS)

(CHEERING)

(BUZZING)

(CRACKLING)

(CHEERING)

(POWERING UP)

(CROWD EXCLAIMS)

(CROWD CHEERING)

You going nowhere, chicken.

You'll fight till you win or you die!

(CROWD CHEERING)


(WHIRRING)


(CRASHES)

(CHOKING)

(WHIRRING)

(POWERING DOWN)

CROWD: (CHANTING) Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!

Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!

Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!

Chicken! (CROWD GASPS)

(CHANTING STOPS)

(CLUCKS)


(MOCKINGLY KISSING)

(CROWD CHEERS)

(EVIL LAUGHTER)


(CLANKING)

(BUZZING)

(CROWD EXCLAIMS)

(MOCKINGLY KISSING)

(SNAPS)

(CROWD MURMURING)

He's okay. He's okay.

(CACKLING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

(CACKLING)

(RUMBLING)

(SCREECHING)

CROWD: (CHANTING) Get up! Get up! Get up!

Get up! Get up! Get up!

Get up! Get up! Get up!

(SCREECHING)

(HISSING)

(COUGHING)

He's injured. (SNICKERING) Bring out the finisher.

But... But that's two opponents at once.

That's... That's cheating.

Do it!

It's always me.

I always have to get the finisher.

Every time. "Do this. Do that.

"Go get the finisher."

I always have to!

(CROWD CHEERING)

(SNIFFING)

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

(CROWD BOOING)

(GRUNTING)


(SCREECHING)

(SCREECHING)

CROWD: (CHANTING) Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!

Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!

(EVIL LAUGHTER)


(INAUDIBLE)

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

(CHOMPING)

(GULPS)

(GULPING)

(BURPS)

(STOMACH GURGLING)

(CLUCKS)

Of course.

How thoughtless of me.

(SLURPING)

I almost forgot about the lasagna.

(LAUGHS) Silly me.

(CHOMPING)

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Huh?

What's the matter? Can't you read?

(SPITS)

May I come in?

Uh, why, yes.

Yes, of course!

Please, have a seat.

Yeah, yeah, sure. You're probably wondering why the biggest fight promoter in the business is paying a personal visit to a bum like youse.

Well, the answer's simple.

I'm offering your chicken the main event.

The main event?

Huh. Here's my card.

I take it I'll see you there with your chicken.

Oh, and another thing.

If you're going to play with the big boys, try dressing like one.

Sure thing! You got it! No problem!

Did you hear that, chicken?

"Play with the big boys."

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

Looks like this is the place.

Yes, this is the place.

Magnificent.

Well, what do you think, chicken?

(LAUGHS)

Maybe next time, we find you a new leash.

(LAUGHS)

Hey! Why don't you watch where you're going?

You almost stepped on my champion.

(CLUCKING ANGRILY)

(WIND WHOOSHING)

Ah, you're back.

What'll it be? The chicken, right?

No! No chicken!

Ahem. I mean, no, thank you.

Actually, I would like to try the shrimp today instead.

(THEME SONG PLAYING) ♪ Watch out

Gotta get back Back to the past

Samurai Jack Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Gotta get back Back to the past

Samurai Jack Watch out

Gotta get back Back to the past

Samurai Jack Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Gotta get back Back to the past

Samurai Jack Watch out

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back Jack, Jack, Jack

Samurai Jack Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack Watch out