Samurai Jack S4E3 Script

Episode XLII (2003)

AKU: Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shape-shifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil, but a foolish Samurai warrior wielding a magic sword stepped forth to oppose me.

(SWORDS CLANGING)

Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where my evil is law.

Now the fool seeks to return to the past and undo the future that is Aku.

Gotta get back

Back to the past Samurai Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back

Back to the past

Samurai Jack Hack, Jack, Jack Jack

Gotta get back, Back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back

Back to the past

Samurai Jack

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Gotta get back

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back ♪ Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Samurai Jack ♪ Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Watch out

(THUNDER)


(THUNDER)

(GLASSES CLINKING)

(DRIPPING)

I would like some hot water, please.

Over there.

(STEAMING)

Thank you.

(SNIFFS)

All right

(FUNK MUSIC PLAYING)

All right

(THUNDER)

All right Wassup, yo?

Da Samurai is in the Hisserie house!

Da da da da Samurai.

That's right. Mm-hmm.

Ain't no bout adout that.

Don't call me bad. Call me badder.

I'm the Samurai dude who invented rude.

There ain't no stoppin' this booty-kicking brother.

(SIPS)

And this here is my mama.

Don't you be talkin' bad 'bout my mama, or she'll give you a whoopin'.

Ain't that right, mama?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's right, baby.

'Cause... I... am...

Da Samurai!

Catch, sucka.

Wassup, fellas?

Nice hat.

That's better.

(LAUGHS)

Yeah! Now, that's what I'm talking 'bout.

Mmm!

(SMASH)

(GIBBERISH)

Hey, what kind of swill are you trying to serve me?

Now, you lucky I'm in a good mood, 'cause mama would knock you out.

Well, hello. I didn't see you up on the menu.

You must be the chef's special, 'cause you sure ain't no appetizer!

Hey, now!

(ROBOTIC VOICE) Release the female.

'Scuze me, darlin'.

It's whoopin' time.

Whoo! Hiya! Ah-zo!

Yu-hizza! Whop! Hey! Whop whop!

Hey, hey!

Look out!

It's helicopter time.

(SWORDS CLANGING)

Uh-oh. Here it comes.

Uh... The crazy eight!

Ha ha!

Then there's the sucker punch.

Did you look up... pow!

Sucka!

Yeah! And finally, the monk dunk!

Monk...

Dunk!

Any more suckas want to mess with me?

Huh? Oh, you want some?

Huh?

That's right!

Nobody messes with Da Samurai.

Now, gimme something I can really drink.

Yes. Yes, sir.

(GASPS)

Bounty hunters!

(THUNDER)

Samurai Jack!

Yes, Samurai, it is I.

These are my newest and mightiest assassins.

Bye-bye, Samurai.

Destroy him. Destroy him!


(STATIC)

More hot water, please.

So you're Samurai Jack, huh?

The poser who's been biting my style.

Nah, nah, that's all right, son.

You looked pretty good out there.

Your little moves be lookin' all right...

Almost as good as mine.

Thank you.

Say what? Say what?

Yo, no, don't you turn your back and walk away from me.

Didn't you hear who I am?

I believe everyone heard who you are.

Say what?

Ah... Snap! It's like that, huh?

Well, here's a 4-1-1, Samurai Jack.

I am Da Samurai, and, you see, you are a Samurai, but there can only be one Samurai, so me and you are gonna throw down, and after me and mama whoop your sorry butt, I will be the one and only Samurai.

Excuse me.

May I please have some more hot water?

I guess so.

Thank you.

You got to be kidding me.

You know, I think I done figured it out.

You're scared to fight me!

You don't want none of this.

That's right, isn't it?

Ha ha! Hey!

Thank you very much.

I'm sorry. Can I bring you anything, sir?

Yeah...

(HISSING)

(CRASH)

Lookin' for this?

Heh heh heh.

Ha ha ha!

(SLURPING)

(GARGLING)

(BURPS) Ahhh!

Very well.

Ha ha ha!

Well, let's get this party started, fool.

Outside. Huh?

We will fight outside... in the shadow of leaves.

What?

Yeah, but it's raining...

Oh, I get it.

I wouldn't want to spoil your reputation for you.

Ha ha ha!

All right, Jack.

Draw.

What the heck is that?

It is your weapon.

(LAUGHS)

Man, I didn't say I wanted to go fishin'.

You got to be kiddin' me with that.

Heh heh heh! You crazy.

I like it. I do like it.

Draw your weapon and quit stallin'.

Baby, I'm ready to get maulin'!

It is your weapon that remains to be drawn.

Man, I said I ain't gonna fight you with that old toothpick.

You have not yet earned the right to face my blade.

Uh... Yo.

All right, fine.

I'll earn your blade. Now, come on!

Well, come on! I ain't got all night!

Got to save some time for the honeys.

He who runs with aggression walks without dignity.

Now I see your tactics.

You gonna bore me to death.

Ay-yi-yi!

(BANG BANG BANG)

(SPLASH)

You can never defeat another if you know not how to defeat yourself.

Man, what is this, story time?

Ow, man!

Oh, I'm gonna tear you a new...

Ooh!

You know how much I paid for those things?

He who wears a mask cannot see what lies within himself.

Now, what the heck is that supposed to mean?

I'll teach you to play me the fool!

Why, you...

Aaahhh!

The shell of an oyster only hides the pearl inside.

(HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM)

Heh heh heh!

What kind of...

(CRACKING)

Ha! I'm finished playing around with these old silly sticks.

When I finish you off, I'm gonna do it with a man's weapon, not some old... Shh!

Don't you be shushing me when I'm talking!

Now, I told you that I'm...

Be quiet!


(CLANG)


(GASPS)

Later, Jack!


(RAIN STOPS)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(BUZZING)

(CLANG)

Man!

I guess I...

I guess I ain't so bad after all.

Man, that was pretty amazing.

(GASP)

Look out!

(GASP)


You have taken the first step toward the true path to the way of the Samurai.

Yo, sensei!

What's the second lesson?

What's tomorrow... three and four?

You got a videotape I can look at?

Gimme some homework, man!

Should I just think positive thoughts? Wassup?

Watch out

Gotta get back

Back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back

Back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back

Back to the past

Samurai Jack

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Gotta get back

Back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Samurai Jack

Watch out