Samurai Jack S4E5 Script

Episode XLIV (2003)

AKU: Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shape-shifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil.

But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword stepped forth to oppose me.

(SWORD CLASHING)

Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where my evil is law.

Now the fool seeks to return to the past and undo the future that is Aku.

Gotta get back

Back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back

Back to the past

Samurai Jack

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Gotta get back

Back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back

Back to the past

Samurai Jack

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Gotta get back

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Samurai Jack Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Watch out

(CHAIR SQUEAKING)

MAN: (IN ITALIAN ACCENT) Okay, so you want a little off of the top, eh?

Yes, sir, it's no problem.

Ha! Well, we don't get many people up in these parts, kind of slow, you know.

But I will make you look-a sharp, yes, sir.

You are in good hands with Tanino, because I'm the best, eh?

I've been cutting hair all of my life.

No matter how big or small, I cut them all.

Mamma Mia!

It's Jujunga, the aboriginal bounty hunter.

His blowgun has captured the most elusive prey.

A tattooed terror!

What is he doing this far north?

Must be on some kind of hunt.

Certainly ain't here for the night life.

(CHUCKLES)

So, as I was saying...

Hey!

It's "I" and "Am," the infamous twins, bounty hunter legends.

Their techniques are so cunning, their abilities so in tune, it's rumored that they share the same mind.

Hey, that reminds me, back in the old days, how I used to hang around the barber shop with all of the customers... some with nice, black, thick hair, you know, like all of... oh!

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

It's the gentleman.

He's a nice fellow but deadly.

This bounty hunter dueled with many, but none could escape his skill.

The knives are his weapon of choice.

Look at him. So stylish, oh, so fancy.

Great hair.

Eh? What's this?

Huh? I've never seen this one before.

Curious.

Hah! A strange fellow.

I wonder...

(GRIPPING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(GASP)

Oh, my-

You. You're... you're...

Boris... biggest, baddest bounty hunter of all.

Da!

(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

(RUSSIAN FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)


(SINISTER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)


What is up here?

It seems there is a problem you cannot deny.

We are all here for the same samurai.

Indeed we are, but I see no reason to discuss this in the most frigid of temperatures.

I suggest that we confer on this delicate matter inside this nearby vacant structure.

Da! It is cold.

Mmm-hmm. Hmm.

It seems we have amassed quite a committee.

But only one of us can claim this bounty.

It seems that the one who goes first will have the best chance of collecting everything.

Pa-tooey!

I have come here before everyone.

I will go first.

He has no chance against the power of Jujunga.

As the Samurai approaches, I shall sit by the roadside playing the flute.

He will pause a moment and listen to the beautiful sounds...

(MYSTICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Slowly being lulled into false security.

At the moment he's at his most vulnerable, my trap is sprung.

(WHACK)

My flute is really a blowgun with darts dipped in the most lethal of poisons.

This bounty will be mine.

WARRIOR: You will fail.

Your plan is flawed.

How? It has never failed me before.

It cannot be defeated.

The samurai's senses are too acute.

He will hear you take a breath before you fire, and easily avoid your dart completely.

You wouldn't stand a chance.

GENTLEMAN: The gentleman reluctantly must agree with our mysterious friend.

You lack a certain style, a savoir faire that is required for this particular bounty, whereas I, on the other hand, have all the wit and panache necessary to take on such a worthy adversary...

(WESTERN INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

For I shall meet my most studious of samurais out on the field of honor in a duel... a duel of epic proportions.

It is true the Samurai has great skills.

That, no one can deny, but on this day, my friends, it is the gentleman who will prevail, for my talents are far superior and my strategy is as sound as I am elegant.

Yes, I will take advantage of his intense concentration and split his focus, forcing him to choose between life and death...

My cloak acting as shield and decoy for the coup de grace.

Now, I'm not one to brag, but I must say that my blades fly faster than any bullet.

He will not be able to escape them.

(CHUCKLES) I assure you, indeed, this bounty will be mine.

WARRIOR: It is definitely the end for you.

Pardon me?

He is too disciplined to fall for your tricks.

Your decoy alone is not strong enough.

A stylish plan it sounds, indeed, but he is right.

An attack like that will not succeed.

Listen to our plan and you will see It is "I" and "Am" who will claim this bounty.

(ORIENTAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

As the Samurai enters the town, we will wait for the final showdown.

Concealed we will be.

Our surprise he will never see.

"I" will attack from the rear...

And "Am" from the sun will appear.

A thousand bombs will fall from the sky.

In his confusion, the Samurai will surely die.

(BOTH CACKLING)

WARRIOR: You're on the right track.

But the two of you can never defeat Jack.

Jack is cunning and hard to restrain.

By leaving him a sword, he stays in the game.

(EXPLOSION)

BORIS: Bah!

Enough with this kiddie talk.

(SPITS)

Boris is best. Bounty belongs to Boris.

(RUSSIAN FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)

Little man is coming.

I do not wait.

Bah!

He will attack with sword.

It breaks against my belly.

Then I break him!

Break him! Break him! Break him!

That's how Boris gets the bounty!

Any questions?

WARRIOR: Have you always been this stupid?

Yes!

What? What? No, uh, uh...

You've underestimated your opponent.

You have no idea what you're up against.

You will all run headlong into death.

What?

(GROWLING)

Your skills are most impressive, and your talents certainly seem to match your wisdom.

If you would be so inclined, kind sir, to reveal yourself to us.

(MYSTERIOUS INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

A woman?

Oh, my!

I am Princess Mira of the Andaluvians.

Oh.

I've heard of her. She's powerful.

Is she the one who captured that guy on that planet, uh...

Yes.

Oh, my. Well, she is good.

I have more power and skill than all of you.

It seems her tongue bites as hard as her stick.

But even I cannot defeat the Samurai on my own.

What's that?

The only way to defeat him is to join forces and attack him together, all at once.

A wise and powerful plan this would be... but who is the one to claim the bounty?

I am!

BORIS: No woman will!

Silence! I must claim this bounty.

But not for the money.

For freedom.

The freedom of my people and my kingdom.

Aku has enslaved my nation for many years, plundering our wealth and resources.

I will collect this bounty.

And for payment, I will ask for my people to be freed and my kingdom restored.

In return for your help, I will pay you the sum of the bounty, plus tenfold!

My, my!

That is much money.

Her land has priceless resources.

Priceless?

So it seems.

It seems to me that Boris does agree.

Da! Much money, please!

You'll get it. I better.

You will. I better.

You will.

Okay, what is plan?

This is what we'll do.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)


This is the plan.

Well, it certainly seems to be a wise and prudent plan, my dear.

It is good.

Phooey! Plan okay.

Boris would have had better plan.

Da.

Good. Let's get to work.

"Am," you head up the road and hide in the trees.

Watch for the samurai and alert us when he comes.

The rest of us dig.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

I hate taking orders from woman.

Hey, you, country boy man, how about you and me team up and collect bounty, no?

The gentleman never goes back on his word.

Besides, our present course of action is, in fact, the most lucrative for all parties involved.

You must be crazy, sir.

Simple answer... da or no?

Keep digging!

Okay.

(PLAYING MUSIC)

(YAWN)

(SNORING)


AM: He's coming.

He's coming.

(GRIPPING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Positions!


(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(WIND BLOWING)


(CHIRPING)


(SWORD CLASHING)

(SWORD CLASHING)

(SWORD CLASHING)

(GRIPPING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)


(SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Watch out

Gotta get back

Back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back

Back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back

Back to the past

Samurai Jack

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Gotta get back

Back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back

Jack, Jack, Jack

Samurai Jack

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack ♪ Watch out