Santa Claws (2014) Script


Listen, kid, I been around a few Christmases.

It's true. No way.

I swear on my life.

All nine of them? Yes.

[ whoosh ]

Now quiet. Here he comes.

[ humming a tune ]


CAT: Magical, right?

KITTEN: Where's his claws?

He--He's so fat.

[ chuckles ] It's his jolliness, Rigby.

That's why he's so big.


Is that the record Julia wants? How did he know?

He is Santa, Rigby.

He knows.

Hey, I'm gonna tell Santa what I want.

Hey, hey, kid, where are you going?

I want to say hi to Santa.

No, you can't. Santa's allergic to cats.

[ meows ] [ chuckles ]

Well, hello there. Who are you?

Hi, Santa. I'm Rigby.

Shoo, shoo. Go away.

I'd love to pet you, but I better not.



[ sneezes ]

Eww. Gross.

[ laughing ]

[ purring ]

Excuse me, Santa.

Go away.


[ gasping, sneezes ]

BAXTER: Oh, you made him sneeze again.

Go away. [ gasps ]

[ sneezes ]

[ sniffles ]


Ah, cookies.

BAXTER: Rigby, get back here!

[ Rigby meows ]

SANTA: Hello?

Is someone there?

[ meows ] [ screaming ]

A cat! Whoa! Chill out, dude.

[ sneezing ]

RIGBY: Oh, no! Julia's record!

See, kid? I told you.

He's allergic to cats.


[ gasps ] Oh, I can't let her see me!

Santa, wait!

[ sneezes ]

[ sneezes ]

Santa! Cats!

[ sneezes ]

[ groans ]

[ bells jingling ] Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!

Dang it.

Mom, pop the trunk.

[ kisses ]


Nathan has a tree.

Tommy, please.

But, Mom, everyone else has a tree.

Tommy, we talked about this. Inside.


Little dusty.

Kittens, I'm home.

Hey, Tommy's home.

Heh. No.

No, I'm not gonna go talk to her.

You go talk to her.

I don't know what to say. You're Santa.

You're the one who knows all this stuff.


Don't forget to shut the door, or the kittens'll get out!

Get out? She's crazy.

Why would we want to get out?

Hey, guys. I missed you.

And put the milk away, or it'll go bad!

TOMMY: Okay, Mom!

KITTEN: Did someone say Milk?

[ sighs ]

[ kittens gobbling ]

I've been starving all day.

Oh, no. Here she comes.

[ sighs ]

KITTEN: Oh, this tastes so good.

Mom, it's Christmas Eve.


We don't even need to get a big one.

We've already discussed this.

Christmas is just something marketed by companies to sell toys and other items they have too many of at the end of the year.

KITTEN: Here comes another sermon. I'm out of here.

I remember.

You know I love you very much, right?

And that's why I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you Santa's real.

He was made up by a soda company.

You have to learn to be self-sufficient, not rely on someone to bring you the things that you want.


Hey, where'd you guys go?

That's why when you do your chores, you get an allowance, so you can buy the things that you want.

Trust me. When you get older, no one's gonna hand 'em to you.

I know.

I love you very much.

I love you, too, Mom.

Hmm. Those little rascals didn't leave any food for me.

Let's make a deal.

I will finish putting away the groceries, and I'll post my new article, and then you can do your chores.

Dust the living room, water the plants, and then we go to dinner. Deal?


Are yours this much trouble?

You have no idea.

Ah, I'm bored.

KITTEN: We better not go anywhere.

It's almost nap time.

[ sighs ]

Quick Get it! But it's almost nap time.

Oh, lighten up.

Ha ha ha! You paper towels thought you could escape me! Never!

You're right! This is fun!

Quick! Don't let it runaway. I got it! You're through paper towel.


We gotta make sure it never escapes again!

That's it guys!

Nice job, Mittens!

This feels great on my claws!

Ah! It keeps falling on me. uh oh! It's still escaping over here.

I'm on it! Hey! tear it apart. You're mine paper towel.

Whee! Look guys, it's almost like we have snow in the house now.

Oh quick! Grab it guys.

Not cool, guys.

How's it going?

What happened?

The kittens.

It doesn't matter. Just clean it up.

They'll be out of our hair soon enough.

Kittens, what did you do?

Uh, we may have gotten carried away.

I tried to tell them, Mom, but they wouldn't listen.

Oh, yeah? You weren't the one I saw leaping through the air?

Shut up, Hairball! Enough!

Kittens, you know Tommy and Julia can't always do everything for us.

If we can't show them that we can take care of ourselves, they'll...

They'll what?

[ sighs ]

They'll give you a new home.

A new home? No!

They can't do that!

Yes, they can. Listen to me when I say we need to take care of ourselves.

I picked a heck of a week to quit coughing up hair balls.

[ coughs ]

[ playing Christmas carol ]

Hmm, I'm hungry.

HAIRBALL: Did somebody say food?


Always thinking with your stomach.

Can you change that, please?

[ playing different Christmas carol ]

[ sighs ]

Do you think Tommy will put out some food?

No, Mittens. Mom says we need to take care of ourselves.

I say we find our own food.

No more loafing.

Huh? No more what?


Come on, Hairball.

Let's get that food.

Ah, you know I would, but it's a little high, and nine lives is short if you really think about it.

Fine. I'll go myself.

Just try not to land on your head if you fall.

Whoa, cramp!

MITTENS: Be careful, Patches!

Uh-oh. Here it goes.

Whoa, oh, oh! Oh, no!

Heads up! Incoming!

[ meows ]


[ meows ] HAIRBALL: Bail!

Let's get out of here!

MITTENS: Sorry, Patches.

PATCHES: Oh, no.

I just mopped in here yesterday.

Now I'm gonna have to do it again.

I'll help you clean up.

No. You go outside, and water the plants.

I will clean up.

They probably didn't mean it.

I'm sure they were just hungry.

I'm sure. Outside, please.

[ sighs ]

And don't forget to close the door!

"Tommy, do this.

Tommy, do that."

Why can't you do something for a change?

Guys, I feel sorry for Tommy.

Way to go, Patches!

Hey, it's not my fault, Mittens.

It's always your fault.

Shh! Listen!

What is that?




I thought you two broke it.

We did!

Yet there it is!

It's impossible! It's horrible!

It's the Devil!

[ whirring ]

Run! Run!

It'll eat us all in one bite!

Gotta go! Gotta go!

We gotta get out of here! Go! Go! Go!

Right behind you, guys.

[ sighs ] Hello, tail.

Don't look back! Patches, slow down!

Wait! PATCHES: It's still coming for us!

Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta go!

No, no, no, no, no, no!

MITTENS: Patches, look out!

Ouch! Timber!

No. Oh, no!

Tommy, how about we try to keep the kittens off my lawn?

KITTEN: And that's my cue to leave.

Okay, buddy?


[ clatter ]

Sorry, Mr. Bramble. I'll help.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's okay.

Now, Tommy, I'm gonna level with you.

These Santas have been in my family for generations.


[ chuckles ]

It's not creepy.

It's a tribute to the true meaning of Christmas.

Sad. I have to tell a grown-up that Santa isn't real.

Of course he is.

It's okay, Mr. Bramble.

You don't have to lie to me.

My Mom already told me the truth.

She did?

Well, if you'll excuse me, Tommy, uh, I'm gonna have to find myself some superglue, so...

Santas, hang out for a bit.

KITTEN: This chair is boring. Let's go somewhere else.

Hey, where do you think you're going?

KITTEN: No, not the chair.

We'll die of boredom.

Don't be so melodramatic, Hairball.

Hey watch the fur! Let me go!

No, no, no, or you're gonna get in trouble.

Hey, Trouble's my middle name.

Haha, you can't get us.

Try and catch us now.

Hey, watch that fur.

Yeah, Mom just gave us a bath.

Judge Tommy? Yeah, since when does he hate fun?

[ doorbell rings ]

Tommy, can you get the door, please?

[ exhales ]

Hi, Tommy.

Is your mom here?

Look, I'm sorry if I was short with you earlier.

It's just those Santas, they're very special to me.

It's okay, Mr. Bramble.

Your childhood delusions are causing you to revert back to a childlike state.

Heh heh. Who said that?

Mom. She writes about it in her blog.

Yeah, I know.

Is she around, by any chance?

Mom! Mr. Bramble's here!



Macaroni and cheese?

Oh. You cooked.

Oh, actually, I also came over because I wanted to see if you had any superglue.

See, one of my Santas fell outside, and I want to fix it before tonight.

All the stores are closed.

Why by tonight?

[ chuckles ] Well... so Santa can see them.


There you go.

Uh... thank you.

You're welcome.


Well, actually, if you guys aren't doing anything tomorrow night and you wanted to come over for dinner, you're more than welcome to stop by and...

Marcus, thank you, but Tommy and I will be busy settling everything for the kittens' adoptions.

Bramble? What is he doing here?

It smells like poo!

We would have done it sooner-- Ick! Gross! but everything's closed for the holidays.

Smells like you, Patches.

PATCHES: Geez, you roll in fertilizer one time--

Well, let me know if you change your mind about dinner tomorrow night. -KITTEN: Ew. Hey! Where you going with that shoe.

These shoes really stink! Wait! Where's he going? No kidding.

KITTEN: Hey get back here!

[ stammering ] HAIRBALL: Look out!


HAIRBALL: Timber! Bullseye!

Oh, my gosh!

I am so sorry.

I'm fine.

[ gasps ]

I'm fine.

HAIRBALL: You got something on your face.


I'm fine.

PATCHES: Better luck next time, Bramble.

Tommy, we need to talk about the cats.

Mom, they're like family.

No. They are family.

Tommy, I can barely keep up with the two of us.

I promise I'll watch them.

We've already had this conversation.

Money's just too tight.

I can't afford vet bills for four cats.

Mom, please?

I'm sorry, but you know that they're gonna have to go up for adoption.

You never listen to what I want!

I'm old enough to choose whether I celebrate Christmas or not.

I bought this after school the day before Christmas vacation.

TOMMY: Hey, you guys want to hear a Christmas story?

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

I like that story.

Did you like that story?

PATCHES: This kid has talent for telling great stories.

[ knocking on door ] Oh, no!

HAIRBALL: I want to eat that book. Mmm.

KITTEN: Oh no! The Christmas tree!

Is everything okay?

Yep. Just getting ready for sleep.

Tommy, honey, we have to talk about the kittens.

Well, good night. [ snoring ]

[ continues snoring ]

Good night.

What is this?

What's what?


My Christmas tree.

Please don't take it away.

Where did you get it?

You said people should work for what they want, and I bought it with my allowance.

Tommy, I'm glad you understand that if you save, you can get the things you want, but I can't allow you to have that.

But, Mom... Tommy, how many times have I told you?

Santa isn't real.

And there's no need to have a tree if we're not gonna put presents underneath it.

I know, but-- Tommy.

Go away. Tommy!

I said go away!

I'm sick of having to act like an adult!

I'm gonna prove that Santa's real!

[ sighs ] Tommy.

I said go away!

First, Christmas?

I wonder what she'll take away next?

I wonder what Easter's like around here.

Poor Tommy.

I built this box for you.

I'm gonna put you in it.

I'm gonna give it to Santa.

You're gonna be nice, because he's gonna take care of you.

KITTEN: I promise, I'll never do anything bad again.

What--What--No. Wait. Wait. What?

Wait. Aww!

HAIRBALL: Ehh! Can I even fit in here?

I'm gonna miss you guys.

HAIRBALL: We got to get out of here.

MITTENS: Maybe Mom will hear us.

[ kittens meowing ]


[ meowing continues ] KITTEN: She can't hear us. She must be sleeping.

[ meowing continues ]


He's taking us to our new home.

MITTENS: But we want to stay here!

Where's Mom? Mom?

I don't want to go!

Mom? Mom?

PATCHES: Don't worry. I'll get us out.

We promise we'll be good from now on!

I swear!

Ouch! You stepped on my tail!


Guys, I'll be right back.

Does that mean we can get out of this box soon?

I don't know.

He said he'd be right back.

I'm really gonna miss you guys.

PATCHES: I'm gonna miss you, too, Tommy.

You guys were my best friends.

MITTENS: Oh, no! Mom, help!

Tommy, wait!

Tommy wasn't kidding, then.

He really is giving us to Santa.

Oh, he's close. He's close.

Come on. Where are you?

There you are.

[ bells jingling ]

He's here.

Come on.

[ snorting ] Whoa! Whoa!

Good job, Donner, Blitzen!

Those Thompson twins almost caught us.

What am I doing here?

I haven't been here for years.

I have no presents for this address.

Records indicate a pick-up at this site.

Please proceed to the chimney.

No, no. You don't--

I don't think there's any presents for this address.

Records indicate a pick-up at this site.

Please proceed to the chimney. [ chuckles ]

All right.

All right.

Here we go.

Come on. Tune in. Tune in.

No, tracking node, come on.

Flip over. Flip over.

[ whoosh ]

Heh heh. Wow, it has certainly been a while since I've been here.

MITTENS: This guy needs to lay off the cookies.

Wait. Is that Santa? PATCHES: It is.

Maybe he's gonna take us to our new home.

HAIRBALL: But I like this one.

"Dear Santa, Mom--"

[ sneezes ]


Oh. Cookies.

HAIRBALL: He gets cookies?

Aw, that's not fair.

[ footsteps thumping ] Mom?



Wait! Whoa!

Wait! What's going on now?

Hey, guys!

Where is he taking us?

I never even got to say goodbye to the litter box!

What's going on? Whoa! Whoa!

Wait! Why are we up on the roof?

Whew. That was close.

Let's see what we have here.

We have a note.

It's Santa.

[ chuckles ]

I gotta record this.

Tape. I need a tape.

What have we got here?

"Dear Santa, Mom won't let me keep kittins.

Please take--" Kittens?

Fifth grade recital, no.

Ballet classes, no.


No, no. N-No. No kittens.

"Sharknado," definitely not.

Dad's farewell speech, yes!

Come on. Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Come on.

Kittens. Kitten.

[ yelling ]

[ shrieks ]


I'm gonna hurl! My tail!

[ coughs ] Just a hair ball.

Oh, jeez. Come on.

[ screaming ]

Oh, no!


That was weird.

MITTENS: Uh, guys?

I think we broke Santa.

He's not moving.

Tastes like cookies.

Hey, guys, I think we broke him.

Let me check his pulse.

Psst! Up here, dudes!

PATCHES: Whoa, you can talk?

Whoa! Like, so can you.

Come on. Clock's a-ticking, little dudes.

What do you mean?

These presents aren't gonna deliver themselves, little bud.

You'll have to fill in for the big man.

Things just can't get any worse.

And then this happens.

Come on! I'll drive.

You can't even walk on four legs.

How do you expect to drive this thing?

Ooh. Hey. Hey.

Fish sticks.

Aw, you guys.

I can't get in, you guys! Wait!


Are you here?


Hmm, how do you work this thing?

Hey, furry dude, hit the little red button next to the screen.

This one?

Hello, and welcome to the Santa Sleigh 3000.

I'm Tinsel.

I will be your liaison to the H.O.L.I.D.A.Y., Helpful omni-longitudinal, international, directional, accurate yuletide system.

[ sighs ] System complete with CPS, Christmas Positioning System.

It appears that the sleigh has not moved in the recommended amount of time, and the weight ratio is incorrect.

The last call was a distress call.

If the last call is incorrect, please select the Home button to recalibrate.

Otherwise, please select from the following, Santa emergency, sleigh emergency, reindeer emergency.

Santa emergency. Hit "Santa emergency," Patches.

You've selected Santa emergency.

Please choose from which type.

Present malfunction, lack of cookies, incapacitation.

HAIRBALL: Incom-pasa-what?


Push the button, Patches!

Remain calm.

In case of Santa incapacitation, please retrieve Santa's cloth receptacle if it has not already been located.

Then procure the supersonic aerial vessel, and reassure the rangifer tarandus are in adequate condition to help aid you on your journey.


TINSEL: The content in the cloth receptacle must be cross-referenced with the most current behavioral scroll.

The scroll, or naughty and nice list in layman's terms, can be located underneath the aerial vessel... or sleigh's dashboard.

I think we found it!

PATCHES: Good job, sis!

This list features all those who are naughty and nice from around the world.

The glowing name indicates who's next in line for content delivery.

Just say the name on the list, and the rangifer tarandus and aerial vessel will allow you to fly off to your next destination.

But, remember, you must stay on schedule.

All content, presents, must be delivered by sunrise.

Sunrise? That's like in six hours!

If the younger humans do not receive presents on Christmas, there will be riots in the street, and everyone at the North Pole will be out of a job, including me, so good luck, and please refer to the H.O.L.I.D.A.Y guide anytime if you are in need of assistance.

Now what?

Now let's gt this show on the road.

MITTENS: We'll have to hurry!

This is to keep our home, guys!

Carrie Bailey up next!

REINDEER: Awesome!

Carrie Bailey! Let's go!

Whoa! Where are the seat belts?

Whoa! This is amazing!

Oh, my God.

Oh, he's leaving!

[ whoosh ]


[ stammering ]


[ bells jingling ]

Help! No. Oh, God! No, don't leave!

Please. Oh, Lord. Oh, come on!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Whoa! Slow down! How do you fly this thing?

He's going around the other way!

Whoa! We're gonna die!


Kittens? KITTEN: Whoa! Where are the brakes.

Come on, come on, come on. Come on.

No, no, no, no, no, no. [ screams ]


KITTEN: Bye Tommy!

[ whoosh ]

REINDEER: Hey, man, did I ever tell you guys about that time that I took the sleigh out by myself?

Man, I was in so much trouble when I got back to the North Pole, but it was sweet!

Great. There went my one chance to meet Santa.

That's not Santa.

Those are my kittens.

Well, if those are your kittens, then where's Santa?

[ snoring ]


All right. Let's get you inside.

[ grunting ]


¶ Da da da Wake up!

Santa, why are you so fat?

[ snoring continues ]


[ bells jingling ]

Whee! Whoo- hoo!

TINSEL: Getting down the chimney.

All you have to do is touch the bag, and it will do the rest.


Oh, great!

How are we supposed to get the presents up in the stockings?

I'm not sure.

HAIRBALL: I got it.

Catapult ready. Fire!

PATCHES: Great job!

HAIRBALL: Three-pointer. Heh heh. Yes!

All this work is making me hungry.

MITTENS: Whoo-hoo! Milk and cookies!

Oh, pretty. The lights.

Any tuna flavor?

[ meows ] Ohh.

[ burps ]

Guys, I'm kind of stuck here in the tree.

Help. Help, guys!

Coming. Ah, boy. Here we go.

We'll get you out!

Just hang on, Hairball!

Don't move!

I moved. Now the tree's moving.

PATCHES: Stop moving, or else you'll--

Or I'll what?

[ yelling ]


[ grunting ] [ snoring ]

[ snoring continues ]


Those were for Santa.

[ snoring continues ]

Whew. Okay, big guy.

[ grunting ]

[ meows ]



Oh, there you are.

What's wrong with you?

[ meows ]

There's nothing there.

Fine, but I'm going back to bed.

Let me know if you capture Santa.

[ snoring continues ]

[ sighs ]


Honey, don't touch me there.


No, Mrs. Claus, don't.


[ snoring ]

[ sighs ]

Santa, this is gonna be a long night.

HAIRBALL: How does it look, guys?

Um, looks good?

Hey, I did my best.

[ rustles ]

Hurry. Someone's coming!

Quick! How did Tinsel say to get out of here?

[ whoosh ]

That was close.

Hey, guys? Uh, could we make a pit stop?

You'll have to hold it.

We have a schedule to keep to.

[ moans ]



[ snoring ]

[ snoring continues ]

This is made with organic cinnamon essence.

There's gotta be something else.

I thought Mom didn't celebrate Christmas.

[ chuckles ]

[ panting ]

[ gasping ]

[ grunts ] Ohh!

[ crash ]

[ groans ]

[ snoring continues ]

Why isn't this working?

[ snorts ]

[ screams ]

[ screams ]

Who are you, and where am I?

I'm Tommy, and you're in my house.

Well, go close those blinds.

I can't have anybody see me.

Ah, come on.

[ sighs ] Thank you.

I'm--I'm sorry. I just--

I just can't have anybody see me.

It'll be the whole end of my career.

[ sneezes ]

Are you allergic to cats?

Why does everybody always ask me that?

I'm allergic to a lot of things, cats, legumes, certain metals, nightshade plants like tomatoes and peppers.

Really? Don't worry.

It's okay. It's fine.

My mother was allergic to all those things.

I am, too. Heh.

It's genetic.

Who would have thought that Santa is such a mess?

[ Maisy yowls ]

[ growling ]

[ sighs ]

Hi, kitty.

[ growls ]

Nice kitty.

[ meows ]

Stay. Stay, kitty.

[ yowling ]

S-Stay. Stay, kitty.

Ah, no.

No, no. Ow, ow, ow. Don't-- Don't do that.

[ meows ]

Kitty. Kitty. W-What are you doing--

Ahh! [ yelling ]

[ laughs ] Gotcha.


[ grumbles ] Cats.

Cats. Meow!

Purr! Rawr!

I'm gonna get those cats!

Guys, look. There. Right there!

There's a giant litter box.

Jeez, fine.


Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta go.

Aw, man. Gotta go.

Can't wait! I'm gonna get all dirty again!

Hairball, wait! Mittens, wait!

We'd better get adopted to some really nice homes, Santa.

I mean, come on!

You look over there!

[ meows ]

[ meows ]

Guys, a little privacy?

Oh, sorry. Oh, um...

[ meows ]

Don't listen to me go!

[ whistling a tune ] [ humming ]

Never mind. Just gonna go over here.

Guys, you should take a look at this.

We're on a house.

Heads up Mittens. We're coming down too.

HAIRBALL: Ugh! This place gives me the creeps!

MITTENS: Hairball, a litter box gives you the creeps.

Whoa! look at this tree!

[ door opens ]

PATCHES: Hide! Someone's coming!

[ girl laughs ]

PATCHES: What was that?

MITTENS: I don't know.

Hello! [ shrieks ]

Oh, God!

It's just a nice little girl, guys.

You're not Santa! MITTENS: And you're not little.

But you are cute.

PATCHES: She's starting to freak me out.

Are you thirsty? HAIRBALL: Could I get a cheeseburger?

I'll get you some water.

I thought she'd never leave.

Okay, we've gotta get out of here.

Yeah, let's just leave the present and skedaddle.

You guys, she could be the one, the one that'll take care of us.

Yeah, maybe if you want to end up with a missing eyeball or tail.

Did you see those pigtails?

I'm back! I brought you some water.

And my cheeseburger?

I have a bad feeling about this. Come here, kitties.

Patches, no! Kitty, come here!

BOTH: Patches!

Ah, that's much better. HAIRBALL: He's doomed.

You can live with me now.

We'll be best friends.

[ laughing ]

HAIRBALL: We don't have time for this.

We have a schedule to keep. And still have a lot of presents to be delivered.

We need Patches. We must do something.

Let's dress you up.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

That one's horrible.

[ Patches meowing ]

What's she doing to him?

Listen. I have a plan, but you're gonna have to trust me.

Perfect! Hey!

Ow! Aww. Poor kitty is sick.

Kill me. [ meow ]

Oh, no! My other babies are sick, too!

[ both meow ]

You guys need rest.

Two of you have been sick, and one of you has been a very naughty kitty.

This is humiliating!

But I still love you.

Come on, Pedro.

Good night, my kitties!

Oh, guys, a little help, please?

[ both laughing ]

MITTENS: I think you look cute.

Okay, not funny, guys.

I think she's asleep.

Maybe we should stay.

She seems to really like us.

[ whistles ] I'm a prisoner.

Get out! [ whistles ]

Okay, let's make a break for it!

Run! Run! Run! Run!

Where are you going, my kitties?

[ screams ]

Run! Run! Run! Run! Get back here!

Run! Run-- Oh, my shadow.

I did not look cute in that dress.

[ Hairball and Mittens laugh ]

We gotta hurry! Some many couple hours left till sunrise.

And we still have the country to go!



Oh, cute!

I say we keep 'em.

Yeah, let's get 'em!

Nope. Not playing dress-up again.

Let's get out of here. [ laughs ]

Get 'em! Let's go! I'm coming!

Are we done yet?

Not even close.

HAIRBALL: Aw, man!

MITTENS: Now who's next on the list?

[ bells jingling ]

Oh for Ashley.

And one for Rachel.

Ashley. Ashley.

Mm. Huh? Wake up.

[ gasps ] Wow.

[ dog barking ] Okay, got it. Run! There's a dog!


MITTENS: Ha ha. Hairball, stop playing around.

Thank you.

MITTENS: Merry Christmas!

[ laughs ]

HAIRBALL: I'm starting to get hungry.

On your mark, set... Go!

[ bells jingling ]

[ Maisy purring ]

[ radio static ] Squeak!

Squeak, Maisy.

Oh, no, look at me!

I'm a poor defenseless little mouse who's in the middle of this wide-open grassy knoll thingy, and I am way too old, blind and slow to move, but yet you cannot catch me.

You must be the silliest, stupidest cat in history.

Oh, oh, look how close you're getting.

Oh, you're so close now.

Can't you smell my goody mouseness?





[ yowling ]

[ chuckles ]

I got you. I got you, kitty.

Yeah, not as smart as you look, are you? Huh?

I can't believe you fell for that mouse, you silly little four-legged rodent.

[ hisses ] That's right.

What? [ yowling ]

Oh, shut up, cat.

MITTENS: We're almost done, guys.

PATCHES: That's great. Homeward bound soon.

[ whooshing ] What's that sound?

Nothing, Hairball. Probably just the wind.

Look out!

[ all yelling ]

[ Maisy yowling ] Shh!

Quiet. Shh!

[ thumping ]

Not a word. Not a word, cat.

[ yowling ] Not a word.

Not a word from you.

MITTENS: Ah, no! We're gonna crash!

Patches, do something!

PATCHES: I'm trying! I'm trying!

I think I'm gonna be sick!

Ah, no!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! We're going down!

[ screaming ]

We're out of control!

Patches, put us down in the snow!

If you would be so kind to point out where my reindeer and sleigh are.

I am on a tight schedule, you see, and I've gotta get going.

Get away from my son, you shopping mall freak!

Wait! Wait!

I'm Santa Claus. Oh, sure.

And I'm Kate Middleton.

Listen. Stop.

Put that down.


That's just a magic trick. [ sighs ]

You had a candy cane in your other hand.


Watch that.


Nice try.

[ sighs ]

Tommy, go to my bedroom, and get my cellphone.

No, Mom. That's the real Santa.

Tommy, we've talked about this time and time again.

Santa's not real.

Yes, he is.

I saw him fall off the roof.

Well, now I know you're just making things up.

Come on, Santa. Show her.

Tommy... did you buy a Christmas tree this year with your own allowance money?

Do you know where that tree is now?

Well, why don't you go look in the garage?

You couldn't do it, could you?

You couldn't throw away his Christmas tree, could you, Julia?

Who are you? How do you know my name?

And who told you about that tree?

Did Tommy tell you?

I'm Santa Claus. Is that so hard to believe?


Ah, there you are.

[ Maisy yowling ]

Maisy. Stop it. God.

Whoa! What the--

What has gotten into you?

[ gasps ]

Here you go, Santa.

Why, thank you, Tommy.

Enough with this phony baloney. I'm calling the cops.

Mom, wait!

Just watch. Watch.

SANTA: It's there.

Come on. You're in there.


Ho ho ho ho! Whoa!

Yes. [ laughing ]


SANTA: Merry Christmas!

[ gasping ]

[ yowls ]

[ Santa laughing ]

[ screams ]

Mom! You gotta come out! No!

Julia! Julia, I'm here!

Mom, please!

I'm calling the cops!

Wait. Julia...

Come on.

Come on, come on.



Santa's hat.

[ laughs ]

It's real.

Santa? I'm scared.

I want to go home. Wow, what's up dudes?

Oh my -- Come on.

We gotta get out of here. I'm hungry.

Let's find that list. Just stay together.

Oh, Maisy.

I'm glad you're here.

I'm gonna need your help.

You were eight years old that Christmas.

You had two cats, Baxter and Rigby, and you wanted that 45 more than anything else in the world.

What's a 45?

It's a record.

A what?

Do you know what a CD is?

A what?

Oh, never mind. [ sighs ]

Julia, the cat scared me, and I stumbled, and I knocked that record down, and I broke it.

But you kept it even though it was broken, because you wanted to remember that Christmas when you actually saw me.

And Marcus Bramble, he saw me, too, that night.

And for a while, the two of you were inseparable.

And you put up with a lot of hazing and teasing by the other kids because you believed in me.

But finally you couldn't take it anymore.

Marcus could, and he kept on.

That's why you hated him, because he could do something that you weren't able to.

Mom, I saw the ornament in the front closet.

I know you believed in Christmas.

Julia, you didn't want to put Tommy through that same hurt, through that pain, and so you denied that I existed... but here I am.

Your son, he believed in me, and here I am.


[ laughs ]

It really is you!

Yes, it is. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, dear.

But why?

Why did you let them tease us like that?

I begged and I begged you to bring us proof so that we could show the other kids, but nothing ever came.

Julia, Christmas isn't about proof or evidence.

It's about sharing in that spirit and spreading the joy.

Now, if I gave you evidence of my existence, all that would be in danger, the North Pole, Mrs. Claus, the elves and the reindeer.

It wouldn't be very fair, now, would it?

I guess I have pretty good proof now.

[ chuckles ] Here I am.

See, Mom? I told you I could prove Santa's real.

Tommy, I'm so sorry for giving you such a hard time.

It's just I didn't want you to get hurt.

I know, Mom. [ chuckles ]

Uh, now that my life is no longer in danger, maybe you guys can help me.

I really could use some help getting my reindeer and sleigh back.

I mean, it's getting very late.

I thought you knew.

Knew what?

The reindeer took off with your sleigh.

Huh? And my kittens.

You mean the kittens that were in that box?


Oh, this is a disaster.

It's almost sunrise.

My magic runs out at sunrise.

If it comes out that Santa didn't finish Christmas, I'll be ruined!

The kids'll riot in the streets!

They'll be--

They won't go to school anymore!

And grown-ups wouldn't be able to force them to--

It'd be mass chaos and hysteria!

It's terrible!

It'd be a catastrophe!

Santa, snap out of it!

[ gasping ]

Oh. O-Okay.

All right.

[ Hairball groans ]

Way to be the designated driver, Patches.

MITTENS: We lost the list!

Where are the reindeer?

They're gone!

You think they'll come back for us?

Pfft. Yeah, right.

Those dummies probably don't even know we're missing.

Let's find that list.

Just stay together.

I'll find it!

PATCHES: Mittens, wait! Mittens!

SANTA: Who knows what kind of trouble those kittens could be in, but we need to figure a way to help them.

[ sighs ]

This requires some brain food.

[ gasps ] We have cookies.

Did you say, "Cookies?"

Hmm. A plan to save Christmas.

Well, Tommy, I figured out if I could take the Christmas spirit from my hat and add it to some Chris--magic--

My hat!

W-Where's my hat?

Ever since that Christmas where Julia and I saw Santa, I've been so sad that she didn't back me up when the other kids made fun of me for it, and I spent every Christmas since then paying tribute to Santa and trying to prove that he is real.

But now the power of Santa's hat has shown me that Christmas isn't about paying tribute to Santa.

It's about loving others and being kind to others and helping those who need my help, people like Julia and Tommy and you and your poor little defenseless babies that are lost out there in the cold of night all alone!

I can help them!

We can help them!

Yes, let's go find your kittens!

Great. I'm talking to a cat.

[ meows ]

Mittens! Hairball!

Where are you?

Where are you guys? [ meowing ]

We can't go on without you, list.

Come on. Where are you?

Come on. Where are you?

Dumb list!

Patches! Mittens!

Where are you?

I'm so cold.

PATCHES: Please, I'll never ask for anything again.

All I want for Christmas is my family back.

[ sniffles ]

Hey, man.


Who were you talking to?

Uh, nobody.

I lost Mittens. I don't know if I can find her.

Oh, found her.


Miss me? Told you I'd find it.

PATCHES: What are we gonna do?

Our elf support won't answer.

We're stranded.

[ static buzzing ]

Okay, Maisy, let's find 'em.

Let's see if we can break into the Santa network and stop from where they're going.

Oh, God. It's blocked.

Oh, boy.

I need some help on this one, Maisy.


Oh, perfect.

[ telephone line ringing ] Please be home.

Please be home.

Come on. Answer.

NEDRY: Hello.

Nedry. Oh, thank goodness.

I am so glad you're home.

Listen, I need your help with something, okay?

What is it that you need this time?

Look, um, I need a favor.

Are you on Santa Tracker 10.8.1 right now?

I've been on it all night.

Okay, perfect. Look, I really need your help with something.

I'm trying to break into the Santa network so that I can help the sleigh.

Can you help me with that?

Why do you need to break into the sleigh?

Look, it's a long story.

I'll tell you about it later, but just, please, if you'll help me, I'll owe you big time.

All righty, but you're gonna owe me big time.

Oh, thank you so much. I appreciate it.

[ Hairball shivers ] It's c-cold.

PATCHES: I want Mommy!

MITTENS: How are we supposed to deliver these presents?

How are we supposed to get home?

BRAMBLE: Kittens?

Kittens? Bramble?

And Mom?

MITTENS: Get closer so he can see you.

Oh, there you are.

It's me, Mr. Bramble, with Maisy, your Mom.

Look, I need you to listen and do exactly as I say, 'cause we're gonna try to get you back home, okay?

Now, the sleigh has backup rockets.

I can activate them from here, but you're gonna have to do the steering from the sleigh.

Think you could do that?

MITTENS: Rock on!

Let's go home, Patches.


BRAMBLE: Hang on!

Remember, you have to steer.

Whoo- Hoo! Oh, no, no. Left.

Whoo! Whoo- hoo!

Mom never lets me have cookies at night.

Santa, would you like some cookies?

A cookie.


Thank you, Tommy. You're welcome.


[ stomach rumbles ]

[ gasping ]

Are these peanut butter cookies?!


I told you I was allergic to peanut butter.

You never said that.

[ gags ] I said I was allergic to legumes!


[ gasping ]

I killed Santa!

Tommy, go grab the EpiPen.

It's in the first-aid kit in the bottom of the cupboard. Hurry!

[ gasping continues ]


Santa, hold on. Hurry!

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Santa, it's gonna be okay.

You're gonna be okay.


[ yelling ] [ screams ]

Hurry! Santa's fading fast!

Nope. Nope.

Hold on, Santa. It's gonna be okay.

[ coughs ]

You look great.


Ah. Got it.

Tommy, hurry!

I'm going. I'm going.

Found it! Hurry!


[ Santa screaming ]

[ gasping ]

[ sighs ] You all right?

Feel like I won the lotto.


[ Santa chuckles ]

Thanks for saving Santa.

Thanks, Tommy.

Now, that's Christmas magic.

[ chuckles ]

Thank you.

You'd think... here's a man that can take millions of packages around the world in a night.

I can't even drink any water or find my way home.

It's almost sunrise.

HAIRBALL: I can't believe Bramble is the last name on the list. -I know, weird, huh?

The sun is rising!

Hairball, do you see Bramble's house yet?

What are you talking about?

They all look the same.

Kittens better hurry.

When the last snowflake falls, it's over for the year.

All right, Maisy. They're getting close.

We better get ready for them.

[ whoosh ]

What's that?

It sounds like my sleigh.

PATCHES: This is Kitty One coming in.

HAIRBALL: I think I'm gonna be sick.

[ gasping ]

Yeah. Wait.

They're going to Bramble's house!

And he hates the kittens!

Oh, go! Go! Go!

Whah! You decorated the outside of the house, too?

I couldn't help myself!

Hurry! Hurry!


[ Bramble chuckling ]

Hi, baby. Hi.

[ laughing ]


Mr. Bramble?


Uh, this is exactly what it looks like.

Marcus, get up.

Come on up, boy. Come on up.

[ laughs ]

Give us our kittens back.

No, no. No, no, no, no, no. I can explain that.

I can explain. See, what happened was is I--

[ laughing ]

I love you. -Calm down.

I found Santa's hat, and then I found Maisy, and Maisy and I, we hacked into the Santa network.

And we saw the kittens were on the sleigh, and the sleigh was lost, so we got up, and we got into the sleigh through the GPS, and then we redirected the sleigh back here... -Really? and then we found the kittens in here as they're--

They're so cute. Look at 'em. I love 'em so much.

Just the best. Just I love 'em so much. Look at 'em.

Look at 'em playing with each other.

[ sneezes ]


[ sneezes ]

What is wrong with you?

Do you want, like, a hot shower or some Vicks?

No, no, it's the cats. I'm allergic to 'em.

[ sneezes ] [ sprays ]

Um, can I-- Sorry.

I'll be right back.

Boy, is he a couple of bricks short.


Kittens, you had me so worried.

I took care of us, Mom, just like you said we should.

Oh, kittens, I know what I said, but you are still my babies.

Never think for a second that I will ever not worry about you, no matter how strong and self-sufficient you become.

I'm your mother.

I will always worry.

I love you guys.

MITTENS: We love you, too, Mom.

Self-sufficient wha--

Ah, too many big words for me.

Ah, that's nice.

Thank goodness you guys are okay.

But what about Christmas?

Aren't there still presents to be delivered?

You're right.

Bramble's the last house.

Here, Santa.

Oh, thank you, Tommy.

But it's empty.

There aren't any presents left.

My magic's gone.

It's completely gone.

And if I can't deliver this last present, it'll be gone forever.

We have to do something!

Tommy's right. Mm- hmm.

Christmas just can't be canceled.

I thought you hated Christmas.

I don't hate Christmas.

I just-- I didn't believe in it, but someone gave me a reason to believe again.

Thank you.

Does that mean we can celebrate Christmas next year, too?

Of course it does.


But that won't matter if we can't deliver the presents this year.

[ sighs ]

Couldn't we give Mr. Bramble cookies or decorations or something?

[ whoosh ]

[ hooves clopping ] Hey.


[ bells jingling ]

Whoa. Smooth landing.

Whoa, another perfect 10, bro.

High hoof!


[ laughs ]

Here, Santa. I think this belongs to you.

Yes, it does.

Thank you, Mr. Bramble.

Merry Christmas.


Is there anything I can do to help?

Help us? I thought you hated us.

Besides, you can't give a present to yourself.

You stopped talking to me.

I wanted to reach out, but you never wanted to talk.

I even started following your blog.

How do you know about my blog?

We've been neighbors since we were little kids.

Ever since we stopped talking that one Christmas that we saw Santa and the other kids were making fun of us for it, I hated the fact that I lost my best friend.

I connected with you the only way I knew how.

I'm sorry I stopped talking to you.

It's just that... it was too painful to be reminded of.

Well, that's why I started putting all those Santas in my front yard.

I figured maybe if you saw what Christmas was, that you would believe again and I could have my best friend back.

[ chuckles ]

[ laughs ]

[ sneezes ]

[ sneezes ]

Santa, are you okay?

[ sneezes ]

Where did Santa go?

And he didn't even say goodbye.

Wait. Wait. Listen.

The roof! Quick! Outside!

[ bells jingling ]


[ chuckles ] Yes!

Tommy, I want to thank you.

Without your help, Christmas could have been ruined forever.

Glad to help, Santa.

And you guys.

I couldn't have done it without you.

[ sneezes ]

Thanks, Tommy.

Tommy, tell me what you'd really like for Christmas.

Well, what I really want is for the kittens to stay with us, but Mom said we can't take care of them.

But that's what I really want.

And I'll save up my allowance to help pay for them.

Well, I'll take the kittens.

I could use the company, and that way, they can see Maisy anytime they want.

Really? Really.

MITTENS: Do you guys see what I see?

And this is for you, little ones.

Mmm. Is it my cheeseburger?

Thanks, guys.

And here's a little token of my appreciation.

This is the coolest thing ever.

And this is for you, Tommy.

Thanks, Santa.

Merry Christmas.

I think you know what this is.

Thank you.

[ Santa chuckles ]

Marcus, this should help you get you in touch with your inner child.

And you won't have to wait so long to get it recharged.

[ laughs ]

Heh. Come on.

[ laughs ]

Thank you, Santa.

Heh. Merry Christmas to you all.

I have to go now.

It's getting rather late.


Travel patterns indicate clear weather.

It'll be smooth sailing all the way back to the North Pole.

Welcome back, Santa.

Hello, Tinsel.

Ho ho ho!

Merry Christmas!

[ laughing ]


REINDEER: Let's go, dudes!

SANTA: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!

And I didn't even get a picture of Santa.

Wait. I have an idea.

Why don't we take a picture of us?

[ laughs ]

Everyone say, "Merry Christmas."

ALL: Merry Christmas.