Scandal (1989) Script

♪ Those fingers in my hair

♪ That sly, come-hither stare

♪ That strips my conscience bare

♪ It's witchcraft

♪ And I've got no defence for it

♪ The heat is too intense for it

♪ What good would common sense for it do?

♪ Cos it's witchcraft

♪ Wicked witchcraft

♪ And although I know it's strictly taboo

♪ When you arouse the need in me

♪ My heart says yes indeed in me

♪ Proceed with what you're leading me to

♪ It's such an ancient pitch

♪ But one I wouldn't switch

♪ Cos there's no nicer witch than you

♪ Cos it's witchcraft

- Thank you. Here you are, guv'nor.

♪ That crazy witchcraft

♪ And although I know it's strictly taboo... ♪

♪ She wears red feathers and a hooly-hooly skirt

♪ She wears red feathers

♪ And a hooly-hooly skirt

♪ She lives on just cokie-nuts... Hello, Jamie!

♪ Fish from round the sea How are you?

You've met Barbara and Honey and Aziz, here.

Good to see you. Good to see you. Come on, darling.

Come on, this way.

♪ I work in a London bank, respectable position

♪ From nine to three, they serve you tea

♪ Or ruin your disposition

♪ Each night at the music hall Here we go.

♪ Travelogues I'd see Cigarettes?

♪ Till once a pearl of a native girl

♪ Kept smilin' right at me - Cigarettes.

♪ She wears red feathers and a hooly-hooly skirt

♪ She lives on just cokie-nuts

♪ And fish right by the sea

♪ Her rose in her hair and gleam in her eye

♪ And love in her heart for me...

♪ She lives on just cokie-nuts

♪ And fish from 'round the sea

♪ Her rose in her hair and gleam in her eye

♪ And love in her heart for me ♪ So glad I could come.


- I have to go. Yes, darling. Call back.

See you soon. Yes.

Well, well, well.

Who's this, then?

He is a very wicked fellow.

Wonderful show. Great fun. Fun to do.

You shone.

I didn't have that much to do.

Didn't she? Like a light. To the trained eye.

Dr Ward has the most highly trained eye in London.

Isn't that right, Stephen?

Care to dance?

She's upset, your girlfriend.

Just give me your telephone number.

Impossible.

Nothing's impossible enough for you.

I've seen her on the telly, haven't I?

She's on the telly, isn't she?

Except when she's flat on her back.

Oh, Chris, it's lovely! It must have been ever so dear.

It's from Marshall & Snelgrove.

Oh, you shouldn't spend your money on me.

Why not? I enjoy it.

Oh, it's lovely! I love yellow.

Suits you. Ooh.

I don't know what your father's going to say.

How is he?

He worries about you. We both do.

Well, you shouldn't.

I'm having a smashing time.

You can always come home, you know that, don't you?

If... anything should happen.

Nothing's going to happen.

Oh, Lord!

Who is he? I met him last week.

He's a doctor.

A doctor? An osteopath.

A what? He does people's backs.

All sorts of famous people. Oh, whatever next?

Christine. Hello.

I was just passing.

And this must be Mrs Keeler? Oh.

Delighted to meet you.

Ah, how very nice!

Lovely setting. Perfectly lovely. Looks a picture.

This is Dr Ward.

It's, er, nice in the summer.

How did you find me?

It wasn't hard.

I'm a very determined fellow, my dear.

I'll stop at nothing... when aroused.

Stephen, it's wonderful!

You said a cottage.

Oh, it's just a little place for weekends.

Bill lets me have it for a pound a year and I let him cheat at bridge.

Who's Bill? Lord Astor.

He's very sweet. You'll meet him. Come.

Are you married?

Good heavens, no!

I was married once, for 40 days, years ago.

It's the worst mistake I ever made.

Come and look at the gardens. They're widely acclaimed.

You've probably seen them on the front of Country Life.

Feels like a million miles away. Oh, it is.

See, this is all Bill's, as far as you can see.

Oh. Eighteenth century.

Winston sank like a stone!

That's it...

God gave you beauty, Christine. You're lucky. You should enjoy it.

You move like a racehorse.

You walk like a Derby winner.

You must let me help you.

Introduce you to some friends of mine, some photographers, film people, television people.

It's my vocation, you see.

My vice.

When I see beauty like yours - wild, untutored, elemental beauty -

I long to liberate it.

It's my life's work, in a way.

I could do wonders with you, little baby.

Could shock the world.

I should be getting back. Mum will be wondering.

Er... No.

Don't say anything.

I'm doing your lips.

You must be joking!

So I told Frank... 'course he had a bloody fit, I said, look, I don't mind. I'm the one that's gonna feel sick.

If you got one, you might as well have two. They can wear each other's things.

But you know Frank...

It's only small, but there's hot and cold running water.

And the bathroom is a scandal.

You're out all night, I'm in the surgery all day - what could be better?

Where would I sleep?

You could always curl up with me.

Ah, so that's it. Don't be silly.

That's not what I meant.

Oh!

Well, we can if you like, but it's really rather up to you.

No, we're going to be friends, Christine.

Very good friends. Very good friends for a very long time.

You'll have to do something about that hair.

You don't like my hair?

You'll be happy here with me.

With my friends.

You make it sound like a dare. Oh, do I? Well, perhaps I do.

Oh, never say no to a dare, Christine. You never know what you might miss.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

Thank you.

Are you going to be in there forever?

Ta-da!

Little baby!

That is wonderful!

You don't like my eyelashes?

I prefer your eyes.

It's wonderful.

And so we leave the Prime Minister, Mr Harold Macmillan, in his constituency, leading the Conservatives into a third term of government.

My lords!

My lords, ladies and gentlemen, you lucky people!

All together now - you've never had it so good!

I'm sure... I'm sure I speak for each and every one of you lucky people when I call three cheers for the Conservative Party, three cheers for Harold Macmillan.

I give you the new Conservative government. Hip-hip...

Hooray!

Hip-hip! Hooray!

Hip-hip! Hooray!

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow...

...victorious Member for Stratford, widely tipped to be one of the rising stars of the new administration, John Profumo and his lovely wife, the actress Valerie Hobson, seen here outside their London home tonight.

I have always had a preference for what the Americans call 'heavy petting'.

Well, it's something that I was studying

- over there at college in Missouri. More brandy, sir?

And I adore the oh-so-painfully slow escalation of touch and caress.

Tiny, nibbling kisses.

The sigh of silk on milk-white flesh.

I love the ache. Monsieur?

Can go on for hours and hours.

Stephen, you're such a tease.

But it's worth the wait.

When you come, it's like a sigh.

Like a delicious, drawn-out sigh.

Dr Ward is the son of a vicar.

He's a connoisseur of sin.

It's rather fun, isn't it?

Clive picked it up in Copenhagen.

Where's Jennifer?

'A' deck. Popped up to tuck the kiddies in.

Oh.

They come in all shapes and sizes. Bound to come in handy, don't you think?

For something.

Well!

All hands on deck.

I'll just put a record on.

Aye aye, Captain!

Wet your lips.

You could have said something.

Were you shocked?

Just a bit.

But you enjoyed yourself.

It was funny.

That... That thing on the table.

I hated that Clive.

Oh, he's a nasty piece of work, Clive. I'm told he killed his first wife.

Never came out, of course.

Were you frightened?

No, I was not.

You mustn't be. There's nothing to be afraid of.

We're all flesh. There's no harm in it, so long as nobody gets hurt.

Trouble with this world is everybody's afraid to enjoy themselves, or they're too ashamed to admit it.

You're the doctor.

You're not going to leave me, little baby? Not going to run away?

Would you run after me?

Don't know what I'd do.

You'd find someone else.

Another racehorse.

I'd never find another Derby winner.

What's she doing?

Chris, this is Mandy. She's new.

Well, she's in my place.

Tell her, somebody. She's in my place. Tell her yourself.

I'll sit where I like.

Hop it. Take all this rubbish and hop it.

She can't just barge in here. You can't come barging in like the Queen of bloody Sheba.

Do as she says. There's a good girl.

There's a space next door. It'll be cooler there.

Thank you.

Theresa! Hold on.

Where's my top? Somebody's had my top!

Come on, you lot, don't be silly. Which one of you's nicked my top?

Wouldn't worry if I were you, love. Shouldn't think anyone will notice.

Christine! Mandy! Where are you?

♪ Ooga, ooga, ooga, ooga, ooga, ooga, ooga, ooga

♪ On the bank of the river

♪ Stood Runnin' Bear, young Indian brave

♪ On the other side of the river

♪ Stood his lovely Indian maid

♪ Little White Dove was her name

♪ Such a lovely sight to see

♪ But the tribes fought with each other

♪ So their love could never be

♪ Runnin' Bear loved Little White Dove

♪ With a love big as the sky

♪ Runnin' Bear loved Little White Dove

♪ With a love that couldn't die ♪

♪ Runnin' Bear loved Little White Dove

♪ With a love big as the sky

♪ Runnin' Bear...

♪...loved Little White Dove

♪ With a love that couldn't die

♪ With a love

♪ That couldn't die ♪

Hello, Mum? It's me.

I'm in London.

- No, I'm all right. Really. Night, Christine.

I got a job.

Yes, I got a part in a West End show.

No, it's only a quite small part, but if I do well, Mr Laurie says...

He's the producer.

They're putting me up in a hotel till I find somewhere.

Ever so smart, it is.

It's the Piccadilly Palace Hotel. Right on Piccadilly.

Yes, well, it's not really a theatre.

It's more like a nightclub, really.

Of course I miss you. I miss you both.

Mum, you mustn't worry, really. I'm a big girl now.

Mum, I've got to go, there's lots of people waiting for me.

All right, I'll write to you, I promise.

All right. Bye-bye.

Fancy a drink?

Where will we go?

We could always try the bar at the Piccadilly Palace Hotel.


Caught ya!

Forty quid, miss, or it's the police.

Oh, Bill it was awful. What's happened?

I was so frightened. What's the matter?

It's Mandy, she's been caught!

We can't leave her there, she'll go to jail. She's only 16.

What exactly has she done? She owes the landlady £40.

Well, it's a bit steep, you know.

It is, honestly.

I don't mind giving you a lift. I don't mind that.

You could have told me you were doing a bunk.

It's really unfair. I didn't want you to know.

I'm sorry, Bill.

I feel awful, really.

I don't know why I do this, you know.

I feel so ashamed.

Mmm.

There, £40.

She'd better be worth it, mm?

Peter!

Ex-boyfriend.

He's filthy rich and owns half of Notting Hill.

Mm.

You like older men, don't you?

Christine.

This is my friend Mandy.

Hello.

Peter Rachman.

What did he say?

He said he likes your tits.

Cigarette? Thank you, Peter.

Ward.

Eugene Ivanov, Peter Rachman.

Peter disapproves of me. Not at all.

Thinks I'm wicked. Are you wicked?

Not as wicked as Peter.

I did some sketches of Madame Futseyva. Whatever became of her?

Madame Futseyva? Mm-hm.

Oh, she's delightful.

She says that Khrushchev eats with his fingers. Is that true?

Drinks straight from the bottle, so she says.

It's good, this.

Peter said he'd take me to the opera.

Lucky duck.

I rather like opera, as a matter of fact. Mozart and that.

You've never been to the opera in your life.

How do you know? It's obvious.

I've been to The Mikado.

Where's the hairdryer?

Where are you going? Where's Stephen?

Hmm?

Where are you going?

Dinner. Where?

21 Club.

I know all about the 21 Club.

The 21 Club's a knocking shop. Don't tell Stephen.

He'll be furious. Not if you don't tell him, he won't.

You can come if you like.

You don't have to do anything. Not if you don't want to.

That's what Nikki says.

Nikki's on the game. She's a prostitute.

So? There's no harm in it.

We're all flesh, you know.

Not me.


Good evening.

Gin and It. Champagne cocktail.

Certainly.

Don't look now!

He saw us!

Here he comes. Wet your lips.

I'll take care of that, barman, thank you very much.

Thank you, sir.

Hi, girls.

Hello.

Hi.


Ooh!

Ooh-ooh!

Aaah!

Aaah!

Yaaaah!

Exciting?

You'll never guess who that was.

Animal, vegetable, or a mineral?

Fictional.

Oh, I give up. I never read.

James Bond.

Oh. What did he want?

Let me guess. A beautiful blonde with her legs in the air.

You think I'm joking, don't you?

You're always joking.

Between you and me and these four walls, that was the voice, my dear, of British intelligence, MI5.

Tie me down.

I think he had a spot of hay fever.

Hay fever. Good of you to come.

Not in the least.

Always happy to be of help if there's something I can do, something useful.

Your friend Ivanov, the naval chap.

Is he a spy?

No idea. What do you think?

It crossed my mind.

Talk. Discuss things.

Exchange views.

I'm a curious fellow, Mr Woods.

Insatiable in my way.

Always interested in the other fellow's point of view.

You know a lot of people.

A lot of young women.

Has he ever... asked you a favour?

Took a copy of Lady Chatterley's Lover.

If he should... ask a favour,

anything at all...

I'll let you know. Do.

I will.

Good.


What a little baby. What do you think, Eugene?

Come on, come on, let's have it off!

Looks like something my grandmother would wear.

Come on, let's have it off!

Oh, baby!

Oh, it's lovely to have you. Well, it's been a cow of week.

Huh? This Kuwait business.

The PM is chewing the carpet.

Terrible place, Kuwait. Stinks of piss.

What's that?

What's what? I heard a laugh.

Laugh?

Get it off, girl!

Hey, hey, goodgirl! Goodgirl!

Splendid girl!

Whoa!

Hello, Bill!

Got you.

Christine, meet John Profumo. Minister for War.

Oh. Hmm.

You'll want this, my dear.

Golly.

♪ Roll out those

♪ Lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer

♪ Those days of soda and pretzels and beer

♪ Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer

♪ Dust off the sun and moon and sing a song of cheer Smile. Set...

♪ Just fill your basket full of sandwiches Ah-ah-ah!

♪ And weenies Go!

♪ Then lock the house up, now you're set Come on, John!

♪ And on the beach you'll see the girls in their bikinis You walked underwater! At the other end there.

That'll teach you to trust the British, won't it?

♪ Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer

♪ Those days of soda and pretzels and beer

♪ Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer

♪ You'll wish that summer

♪ Could always be here ♪

And this is my favourite painting of my favourite city.

That could be you and I in the gondola.

The trees, I mean, they have such fine brushwork. Do you agree?

It's lovely, yes. It's a lovely painting.

You have never made love until you've made love in a gondola.

I remember a rowing boat once, but never a gondola.

Hello, you two.

I'm afraid I can't take you home tonight. I've got a slow puncture.

Oh.

It... I've asked Eugene to take you.

You know what I see when I look at this country?

Doom. Decay.

A land without honour. It's not that bad.

You saw this Profumo, you saw what he did.

He was walking on the bottom at the shallow end. What kind of man is this?

You're just angry cos he beat you. He cheated!

He was walking on the bottom.

He's a Cabinet Minister and he cheats at games!

Anyway, I bet you don't have houses like Cliveden in Russia.

Cliveden is a museum.

Our Russian museums are open to the public.

Looks like rain.

Poor Eugene.

You look so unhappy.

Why don't you come up and have a cup of tea?

Tea?

In Russia we drink vodka.

Christine?

Morning. Well?

Well, what?

Well, what happened?

When? Last night.

Last night?

With Eugene.

Oh, you know Eugene.

Belly-ached all the way back, had a quick cup of tea and went home to dream of Mother Russia.

Coffee?

I know Eugene better than that. I know you both.

Nothing happened. Really. I promise.

He was talking about his wife, she's a schoolteacher or something.

Look at me.

Well, if you must know, it was awful.

Awful?

Why?

He wept. He wept?

Aren't you going to answer the phone?

Hello.

Wept! - Practically.

Oh, Jack! Stephen Ward here. I'm just about to go out.

Would you like to talk to Christine? - Yes. Thank you.

It's Jack. Profumo.

Hello, Jack. - Christine, can we meet for lunch?

That would be lovely.

Hello, Jack!

Bye, Jack!

Hello?

Mr Woods? - Yes.

Ward. Stephen Ward. - Oh, yes.

I've just spent the most enjoyable weekend.

You've changed your hair.

I just washed it.

Eugene says you cheated.

Ivanov?

He says you were walking on the bottom of the pool.

He's a liar.

What?

I've never been in a Rolls-Royce before.

I feel like the Queen.

- Is that all? That's all.

Didn't touch you?

- He was shy. Shy? What's wrong with the man?

He wanted to talk.

You know, chat.

But I saw him at Cliveden. We all did.

He was all over you like a cheap suit.

Honestly, Stephen, what did you expect?

Did you think he was gonna rip my knickers off in the back of the Rolls outside Number Ten?

I expect too much, that's the trouble.

Don't worry. He'll ring again.

Do you think? That would be a dream.

No, can't see anyone.


Ask him.

You ask him.

No, he'd never sell it to us, silly.

He'd think we're from Scotland Yard or something.

Oh, come on, Christine, be a sport.

Give her ten bob, old chap.

Good girl.

Y'all right, sister? You looking for something?

Erm, I'm with some people... in the car.

And they thought... well, they wondered, they thought there might be some pot about.

Pot?

Yeah. You know.

Yeah.

I think she's got it.

What's it like? Pot?

Mm. No idea.

Stiff Pimm's, I suppose.

This is Lucky.

Hello, Lucky. He wants us to go to a party.

What, right now? Right now, man.

The Sound System.

Can think of nothing better.

The young sound of Jamaica. I love it.


Getting anywhere?

Nothing yet.


Well, I don't know about you, but I think I'd rather have a stiff Pimm's.


Do you know what I like about you, Christine?

My arse.

Correct.

You're always so happy, dear.

L don't know how you do it. You make me happy, Jack.

I must dash.

You're always in such a rush.

I have an army to run.

I have to go down to Leicestershire, stand on the back of a lorry in the pissing-down rain and salute the Territorials.

Paddington 5268.

Y'all right, sister?

Oh, you're wonderful, marvellous. You're so...

Ow! What are you doing?

I'm a witch.

I'm keeping this to put a spell on you.

I'm gonna be all yours, Jack.

Whenever you want me.

I wonder for how long.

As long as you want me.

And when I'm gone? Hmm?

When I'm in Leicestershire with a room full of boring old colonels, where will you be then?

I'm going to buy a present for my mum.

It's her birthday.

Here.

Buy her something from me.


♪ Oh, Doctor, I'm in trouble

♪ Well, goodness gracious me

♪ For every time a certain man is standing next to me

♪ - Mmm? ♪ A flush comes to my face

♪ And my pulse begins to race

♪ It goes boom, boody-boom, boody-boom, boody-boom

♪ Boody-boom, boody-boom, boody-boo-boo-boom

♪ Oh!

♪ Boom, boody-boom, boody-boom, boody-boom

♪ Well, goodness gracious me

♪ How often does this happen?

♪ When did the trouble start?

♪ You see, my stethoscope is bobbing

♪ To the throbbing of your heart

♪ What kind of man is he

♪ To create this allergy?

♪ It goes boom, boody-boom, boody-boom, boody-boom

♪ Boody-boom, boody-boom, boody-boo-boo-boom

♪ Oh!

♪ Boom, boody-boom, boody-boom, boody-boom

♪ Well, goodness gracious me ♪

I shouldn't be saying this, but it's so funny.

They were practically bumping into each other on the stairs!

Oh, hello. You know Mariella, little baby.

Mm-hm. She's the best-bred harlot in town.

Her father is the president of Czechoslovakia.

Oh, no, darling, my uncle.

But he's been dead forever.

Mariella could teach you a thing or two.

She had a fling with JFK.

Stephen... can I ask you a rude question?

Please do.

Why don't you take your socks off?

Cold feet.

Drink, madam?

Uh-uh-uh.

Bit warm.

Warm, madam? Don't you think?

Definitely a bit on the warm side.

If you say so, madam.

Oh, I do.

Thank you, madam.

John Profumo.

Never heard of him. He's in the government.

He's the Minister for War. What's he like?

You'd like him. He gave me this lighter.

Oh, Chris, it's terrific!

It's from Asprey's.

How do you know? Seen it in the catalogue.

I read all the catalogues.

What does Stephen say? You know Stephen.

He thinks it's a scream, especially after Eugene.

I don't know why you put up with it. Neither do I.

Peter says he's a pimp. 'That ponce', he calls him.

Stephen's not a ponce.

He just loves the intrigue.

He can't get enough of it.

Sooner you get away from him the better.

You should talk to this agent I know. You could do ads on the telly.

He wants me to get a flat. Profumo.

I hope you said yes.

I can't.

I can't leave Stephen.

He'd be lost without me.

I wish you wouldn't smoke those things in the flat.

It's only a roach.

I won't ask you again.

Is he?

A spy? Eugene?

Bound to be. All Russians are spies, it's the way they're brought up.

Oh. Looks like an invitation.

So he is, then?

Well, I expect so.

Why not?

Sounds like fun. A lot of money in it.

You'd be hopeless. You'd be the worst spy in the world.

You can't keep your mouth shut for five minutes.

Well, thank you.

What is it?

Someone's having a party.

Where's your wife?

Isle of Wight.

Fun, aren't they?

Valerie bought them in Vienna on our honeymoon.

The Queen was here to dinner the other night. She made such a fuss of them, I'm afraid I shall have to send them round to the palace.

The Queen?

Trouble is, I think they're probably fakes.

It must be fun chatting to the Queen.

What do you talk about? Corgis?


Thanks. I'll phone you.

If you like.

Wait. Get in.

What? Who is that? By the bins.

She lives here.

She owns the shop round the corner.

We can't go on like this.

You living here, ducking and diving.

You must let me find you a place of your own.

I've told you. I'm happy as I am.

I can't go on seeing you while you're living here with Ward.

Don't be silly.

He's not my boyfriend. You know that.

I don't know why you don't like him. He can't keep his mouth shut.

He's vain, shallow and empty-headed. That's not true.

I must get you out of his clutches.

He doesn't clutch.

I'm serious, Christine.

We can't go on seeing each other while you're living with Ward.

Well, that's it, then.

Now, darling, please.

You must see people talk. People listen.

I have to be careful in my position. Well, be careful, then. Do what you like.

I'm not leaving Stephen for anyone.

And I don't care if you're the Prime Minister!

Christine! Come back!

Christine!

That's a smart lighter. Jack gave it to me.

It comes from... Asprey's, I know.

What's the matter, Christine? Why so pouty?

Nothing.

Quarrelled?

Nope.

What about? Not about me?

No.

He'll be back.

I don't care. I don't like him anyway.

He'll phone. He'd better not.

Be a shame to lose him, he could be Prime Minister one day.

You can't be serious. Well, he looks the part.

Youngest MP of his generation, he was decorated in North Africa, he's got a spotless reputation.

He wants me to get a flat of my own.

I hope you said yes.

That's what Mandy said.

What did you say?

Obviously I made a mistake.

Never mind, just never mind.

He doesn't want to come here any more.

He doesn't trust you.

He thinks he's being followed or something.

Followed? Watched.

Watched? I don't know!

Well, you must ask him! You ask him!

You're the one who's so bloody struck with him.

Why don't you ask him about the Queen? He loves talking about her.

You'd find that riveting.

I've had enough.

Stephen, I'm 18.

I want to go out dancing. I don't want to be s...

I feel like...

I want to have some fun for a change!

♪ Come on, baby

♪ Let's do the twist

♪ Come on, baby

♪ Let's do the twist

♪ Take me by my little hand

♪ And go like this

♪ Ee-oh, twist

♪ Baby, baby, twist

♪ Whoo, yeah

♪ Just like this... ♪

Christine.

Christine!

Put the money there.

I say I put the drug money!

Huh? Just give me my money!

Don't do that to me! Don't.

Johnny. What's the matter now?

Take me home. Huh?

Take me home. Later.

Not later, now!

All right.

- What you talking about? What you mean, man?

Look, Lucky, man, why the fuck did I have...

Don't fuck with me. That's all. Don't fuck!

Come to me now.

Lucky!

Why you do this to me, Christine?

Come out of my house, man!


Fuckin' blood claat!

Christine!

Christine!


Coffee?

It's all right, baby, you're at home now.

It's all right now.

Tell me about Johnny.

Was he huge?

You can tell me. You can tell me everything.

There was a chap in the Sudan who had one one and a half foot long.

I have a photo somewhere. One and a half foot!

It was knocking against his kneecaps.

You don't care.

Oh, yes, I do.

More than I can say.

Stephen?

Stephen! Stephen!

Mandy?

Mandy!

Guess what? What?

I got it. Got what?

The Camay ad. They said yes on the spot!

You don't even use Camay. I use Camay.

Don't be spoilt. Come on, get up, let's go to the hairdresser's.

Got a headache. Take a pill.

You know what'll happen. We'll end up in some flat full of black men smoking hash and I'll end up having to walk home on my own.

No, we won't, I promise. I've finished with all of that.

You're full of promises, you are. No, I mean it this time, really.

That agent of yours has lined me up with another ad for next week.

It's £90 an hour.

You don't even have to take your clothes off. You just stand there and wet your lips.

Christine!

- Christine! It's him.

Who?

Johnny.

Christine!

Go and look.

You go and look.

Tell him I've gone to the hairdresser's or something.

Go on.

What do you want? Where is she?

She's not here. She's gone.

I'm just gonna talk to her. No big thing. Just a couple of minutes.

She's gone to the hairdresser's. She's not here.

Christine!

He doesn't believe me. - Christine! Christine!

Johnny... Open the door for me now.

You must go away. You'll get into trouble.

Open this door, I got a taxi waiting!

Johnny, please!

Christine, Lucky Gordon, him after me and gonna kill me.

L got nowhere to go. I can't!

Christine, please! I can't.

Please!

Here.

Take this... and go away!

Bitch.

Come on, you bitch, you see this?

He's got a gun! Call the police. Oh, smashing!

Christine, come and get in this taxi, you bitch! Come now!

Johnny, listen to me.

Put the gun away.

Get me the police. Blood claat!

There's a man with a gun...

Christine, I tell ya!

Christine!

Let me in now!

Oh, Dr Ward.

I just thought you should know, there's a black man shooting at your front door.

It's very kind of you to call.

Go on.


He's gone.

Are you laughing?

No.

You think it's funny!

Sorry, I can't help it.

Can't stand it!

There is a limit.

I'm sorry!

There comes a point when I say no, that's enough, no more.

I've said I'm sorry. I'm sorry!

The Express was there, the Mail, the... the Mirror!

They were all there before the police were there.

I'm a doctor. I can't have it, Christine.

I've got patients, I've got a certain position, I've got a... I've got a reputation.

I... I can't have lovesick jungle bunnies running amok on the front door, taking pot shots at the windows.

It's... It's... It's monstrous!

You took me down there.

It was you who wanted to go snooping around Westbourne Grove at one o'clock in the morning.

I never wanted to go. You made me.

I'd never have met Lucky if it wasn't for you.

I'd never have met Johnny, I'd never have met any of those people.

It was all your idea. You go too far.

'Be a devil, ' you said. 'Never say no to a dare, ' you said.

You took me to all the parties. You introduced me to everybody I know.

I'm yours, Stephen.

You pull the strings.

I'm what you made me.

I'll drop you. Where?

I don't know, wherever you want to go. Vicky's.

I can't go there.

Well, you say.

Well, let's go for a drive.

Please, Stephen.

Take me home.

It's over, little baby.

It's over.

Evening, miss.

Miss Keeler?

My name's Kevin, from the Sunday Pictorial.

I wonder if we could have a word. Sit down, cup of tea?

Miss Keeler, I know a place not very far from here.

Cup of tea?

It's all Stephen's fault.

It's all his idea.

Did he give you money, Christine?

Who?

Profumo. Did he pay you?

I'm not a prostitute!

No, I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry.

What I meant was, a little gift, you know, a token of his affection.

That's all.

He gave me this.

Did he ever write you any letters?

Maybe a couple of notes.

Notes? You kept them, did you?

I may have put them away somewhere.

It was months ago.

Yeah, well, you really should look for them, Christine.

It's all Stephen's fault.

You got your gumboots on? Why?

Why? Because the shit's deep.

Never mind your little West End shoot-'em-up, run that tomorrow.

Say, 'West Indian held in West End shooting.'

Use a nice big picture, that'll make 'em sit up.

Yeah.

But listen, that's not the half of it.

If what this tart has just told me is true, then we are sitting on dynamite.

Mm-hm?

Let me give you the headline.

'The War Minister, the model, and the Russian spy.'

Oh, yeah? You're right, great!

Yeah, I thought you'd like that.

Get her to sign us something, Kevin. You hear me? She must sign something.

Offer her money, anything. Just get her signed!

All right, guv'nor, will do. I'll be there later.

Ted!

Thank you.

Isn't that the girl we saw at Cliveden?

You know, the one by the pool.

Is it?

You must remember.

Yes.

Christine something. Sure it's her.

Keeler.

Times, please. Times.

Well, well, well.

Hmm.

Isn't that, er...? Yes, it is.

Well, that's torn it.

She must be stopped. She's talking to everybody.

Yes. If it's a matter of money... What Christine needs is a holiday.

A bit of sun on her back. Somewhere quiet. Spain, Portugal. That's what she needs.

Yes, just the job. Do her the world of good.

You don't think she might, er... kick up a fuss? Christine?

Leave Christine to me, Jack. I dreamt her up.

I can make her vanish.

Who's that? Hmm?

Oh, it's a cousin of mine.

Er, I won't be a moment.

Excuse me.

There was a letter. A note.

I know. Silly of me.

Yes, it was, rather.

I'll see if I can get it back, if you like.

Oh, there was nothing in it.

I've nothing to hide.

Come off it, Jack. We all have something to hide.

What a rum life it would be if we didn't.

I never touched her.

You know that. Never laid a finger on her.

Goes without saying.

Thanks, Ward.

Not a bit.

What are friends for?

Stephen. All right?

- Where's my cigarettes? You want to wake up to yourself, Christine.

The newspapers haven't stopped ringing all day.

Play your cards right, you can buy your mum a new house.

I feel sick. You deserve it. You've worked for it.

You deserve every penny you can get. There'll be trouble. There's bound to be.

What have you got to lose? Look at me. All that time with Peter and what have I got?

Earrings? Earrings.

You want to wake up to yourself, Christine.

What are you waiting for? What did Profumo ever do for you?

He's not going to look after you in your old age.

You might call it a bit of fun, he might call it a bit of fun.

I'll tell you what I call it-- I call it theft.

Stephen'll kill me.

Stephen's a rat. Doesn't care what happens to you.

All he cares about is his own neck.

That's not fair. He threw me out.

I paid him a month's rent and he threw me out.

You should just hear what he says about you, Christine.

'Oh, that Christine, ' he says.

You should have heard him the other night. He reckons you've ruined his life.

It's not true. He wouldn't say that.

Ask him! Ring him up.

I'll ring him up if you like. No.

Look, he's no friend of yours, Christine. You want to wake up to yourself, girl.

That's lovely.

Lovely stuff.

A thousand pounds. There's a lot you can do with a thousand smackers.

I need a break.

I shall miss you.

Take care, my friend. Be careful.

Today it's my neck. Tomorrow it may be yours.

Don't worry about me.

No salt mines here.

They will be looking for someone to take the blame.

In Russia we say a goose.

You mean a goat. Scapegoat.

Ah, it'll all blow over, you'll see. These things always do.

Next week they'll all be talking about something else.


Mr Profumo?

Sir? Mr Profumo!

Do you know where Miss Keeler is, sir?

Excuse me, sir!

This way. Do you know her whereabouts, sir?

This way, please.

Just a few words, sir!

Can't you do something?

Make them go away.

What can I do?

Do something.


Order! Order!

The Right Honourable John Profumo, personal statement.

With permission, Mr Speaker, I wish to make a personal statement.

I understand that my name has been connected with the rumours about the disappearance of Miss Keeler.

I last saw Miss Keeler in December, 1961, and I have not seen her since.

I have no idea where she is now.

Any suggestion that I was in any way connected with or responsible for her absence, is wholly and completely untrue.

My wife and I first met Miss Keeler at a house party in July, 1961, at Cliveden.

I met Miss Keeler on about half a dozen occasions at Dr Ward's flat when I called to see him and his friend.

Miss Keeler and I were on friendly terms.

There was no impropriety whatsoever in my acquaintanceship with Miss Keeler.

Hear, hear!

Order! Order!

The Estate Agents Bill, second reading.

I beg to move that the bill be now read a second time.

This bill concerns members of a profession and others who provide a service to the public.


Oh, Miss McCauley, get me Scotland Yard, would you, please?

Thank you.

Good shot, dear. 30-15.

Your serve, Bobby.

Mariella Novotny?

DI Herbert, Scotland Yard.


Lady Astor?

It is Lady Astor, isn't it?

I did the right thing. I kept my mouth shut.

I've been put in the most appalling position.

I find that I'm under investigation myself, it's monstrous!

They've been talking to all my friends.

You're a very hard man to ignore, Dr Ward. You have so many friends.

It's monstrous. You know such a wide variety of people.

I'm on trial by hearsay.

You see, I don't think I quite understand what you're getting at, Dr Ward.

Call off the dogs.

If the police persist in ruining my reputation and destroying my livelihood, badgering my friends and digging up women that I haven't seen for years, then I have no choice but to defend myself.

In the first place, Doctor, I need hardly remind you that the police are not under the jurisdiction of the Conservative Party.

They go about their business as they see fit.

I'm in no position to call them off.

You leave me no alternative.

And in the second place, Dr Ward, it would appear that you are proposing to blackmail the government.

Now I must tell you that that would be most unwise.

I've always been a very good friend to Jack Profumo.

I like to think that I'm loyal to my friends and that my friends are loyal to me.

Yes, I hope they are, Doctor.

Because you're going to need all the friends you can get.


Take it easy, come on.

Mum.

Front page tomorrow, I think.

Are you all right? Oh, Chris.

Look at you.

What have you gone and done now?

It's not me.

It's everyone else.

Oh...

Christine!

Hello? Just one moment, please.

A Dr Ward.

I'm terribly sorry, there's nobody here by that name.

Yes, quite sure. Goodbye.

Paddington 5628. - Stephen. Er...

Hello, Bill! - Yes.

Your whisky and soda, sir.

I'm sick about this, Stephen.

Cheer up. We'll all pull through. We all are.

Just as long as we all stick together. Cigarette?

No, no. No, thank you.

How was New York?

Oh... you know.

Bronwen likes it.

The shops.

I'm glad we could meet and talk.

I've been thinking about the cottage.

Cottage?

Yes.

I...

I've had a talk to one or two of our legal chaps.

They seem to think...

I should have it back off you with things as they are.

Have it back? The cottage.

I'll fix you up for the improvements, of course.

Bill.

You're throwing me out.

Well, you see what a spot I'm in.

I think it would be better all round.

I thought about £200, you know, for the improvements.

You could pop the keys in the post.

Yes, of course.

You've been under a lot of strain.

I know that, I can tell.

You're worried sick, frightened. You don't know what's gonna happen.

- You're frightened you might go to prison. I haven't done anything.

With Johnny Edgecombe... Piss on Johnny Edgecombe!

D'you see my point?

Johnny Edgecombe, Lucky Gordon, they're bunnies.

The jungle's full of bunnies like them.

Now, Ward...

He's a different class of animal, your ponce.

He's not a ponce.

I've known a lot of whores, Miss Keeler, a lot of prostitutes.

I used to be at Mayfair, North End. I can smell 'em.

Can't I, John?

I can smell the pink Camay.

I'm not a whore. These clients of yours, these... gentlemen friends that Ward introduced you to, how much did you charge them?

Twenty quid?

Thirty?

I'll bet you charged them thirty quid at least, eh?

A beautiful young girl like you. How much of that did you give to Ward?

Nothing. Nothing?

Nothing! I've told you! I've told him!

How many more times do you want me to say it? I never gave Stephen money.

I chipped in for the phone bill.

I may have bought a tin of Nescafé.

We were friends, we shared.

He didn't keep me. Tight, was he? Mean?

I should think you kept him, more like.

Why do you hate him so much?

Hate him?

I don't hate him.

It's not my job to hate people, Miss Keeler.

My job's to root out the filth.

Cup of tea?

Thanks.

You can't save him, Chrissy. We know it all.

Profumo, Ivanov, Rachman.

The man in the mask. The works.

Ward's for the drop.

Nothing anybody can do for him.

Profumo's an MP. Astor's a lord.

Ward's just a trumped-up little ponce from Torquay.

He's not even a proper doctor.

You don't understand.

I love Stephen.

He's the only man I've ever loved.

Morning. Good morning.

The Secretary of State for War has written to the Prime Minister, and the Prime Minister has asked me to read that letter to you.

'Dear Prime Minister...'

'You will recollect that on March the 22nd, 'following certain allegations made in Parliament, 'I made a personal statement.

'In my statement I said that there had been no impropriety

'in my relationship with Christine Keeler.

"To my very deep regret, I have to admit that this was not true."

'I cannot remain a member of your administration nor the House of Commons.

'I cannot tell you of my deep remorse

'for the embarrassment I have caused to you, 'to my colleagues in the government, my constituents, 'and the party I have served for the past 25 years.

'Yours sincerely, Jack Profumo.'

Sorry, gentlemen, that is the end of the statement.

♪ Listen, do you want to know a secret?

♪ Do you promise not to tell?

♪ Whoa, whoa

♪ Closer

♪ Let me whisper in your ear

♪ Say the words I love to hear

♪ I'm in love with you

♪ Closer... ♪ Of course it's a security problem, don't be so silly.

A Secretary of State for War can't have a woman shared with a spy - or if he was a spy - without giving rise to a security risk.

The question is not whether it was a security risk, but whether there was any actual breach of security. Be sensible.

It's silly to make a party issue of this.

A scandal can arise in one party or it can arise in another!

Let's recognise it for what it is, a scandal!

A great party is not to be brought down because of a squalid affair between a woman of easy virtue and a proved liar.

A party of great principles and policy, a party which believes things about the country and the world, a party that wants to achieve and represent great interests and convictions does not depend upon squalid morals.

What we've got to do is to clear up the facts, establish the facts, punish the guilty.

Thank you. Lord Hailsham, Conservative leader of the House of Lords.

Always been afraid of this.

Dreaded it. Nightmares.

Always been afraid that the day would come when they'd throw me to the dogs.

Ever since I can remember, since school.

There was a boy there... who snored.

Called Follett.

Slept in the next bed to me.

I don't know, he suffered from asthma or something, but kept us all awake, and one night one of the boys got fed up and hit him.

Didn't hit him hard, he just slapped him across the face, but unfortunately it fractured his skull.

He had a weak skull, Follett.

He was in a coma for weeks, so you can imagine the hue and cry.

I knew who hit him, of course. A few of us did.

Nobody would tell.

You just didn't do that.

So, because I was the nearest, they picked on me.

They knew I hadn't hit him, but they knew I knew who had.

But I didn't sneak.

You simply...

simply didn't do that.

Well, the housemaster dragged me out in front of the whole school and gave me a thrashing.

And a few years later I met him at a wedding or...

God knows what he was doing there.

I asked him, I said, 'Did you really think that I was to blame?'

Do you know what he said?

He said... 'someone had to have a thrashing, Ward.

'It just happened to be you.'

Just happened to be me.

Well, not again, not this time.

This time I'll spill it.

This time I'll drag them all down with me.

Bet you don't.


Hello, Stephen.

Let's get back to the old in-and-out.

What about the man in the mask?

Did she tell you all about that? Christine?

She told us the lot.

Well, she missed out the best bit.

Oh, yeah, what was that? You tell us the best bit.

Well, I mean, it really was rather... rather extraordinary.

Um...

Mariella had this little glass jar full of bees.

Bees? Bees. Angry bees.

And somehow she managed to screw this little glass jar onto his bollocks.

And you can imagine what that was like.

And, er, she'd sprayed Chanel onto his bollocks and apparently bees can't stand Chanel, so...

It drives them mad.

You're for the drop, Ward.

You know that, don't you?

You're finished.

They've all dropped you.

All your mates.

All your lords and ladies.

All your MPs, your royalty.

They're all rushing off to America on urgent business, aren't they?

Nobody wants to know.

You haven't got a friend in the world.

And there's no use you thinking your mates from MI5 are gonna come paddling up the Thames in a midget submarine.

This isn't your James Bond.

I said, it's not your James Bond!

No.

You stink, Ward.

You're a stinking little ponce!

And I've got 147 people say the same.

One hundred... and forty-seven.

Do you know how many witnesses we'd normally interview on a charge like this... ponce?

Three or four.

Five at the most.

And we generally get a result.

A hundred and forty-seven, Ward.

There's 147 different interviews.

We've been busy boys, me and John. We've been at it round the clock.

And you'd be amazed at some of the people we've dug up.

Real filth!

Eh, John?

Real pox-ridden harlots.

Oh, dear.

Look at that.


A prostitute, ladies and gentlemen, is not necessarily the kind of woman that one pictures when one normally uses that word.

It is not necessary for her to ply her trade upon the street corner.

Prostitution, as a matter of law and for the purposes of this case, is where a woman offers her body for sexual intercourse- that is, normal sexual intercourse- or for any act of lewdness... for money.

I swear by almighty God that the evidence I shall give shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

How did you pay the rent at Comeragh Road?

I didn't pay the rent at Comeragh Road.

How was it paid? By cheque.

Whose cheque?

Lord Astor's cheque.

Had you met Lord Astor?

Yes. Who introduced you to him?

Stephen.

Did you have intercourse with him?

Not when he paid the money. Two years later.

Where you having intercourse with any other man or men at this time?

With Peter Rachman. Anyone else?

David Fairfax, Junior.

Anyone else?

Boyfriend of mine.

In October, 1962, when you were living with Ward at Wimpole Mews, did you have sexual intercourse with an Indian doctor?

- Yes. Did he give you any money?

Yes, he did.

Sometimes he gave me £15, sometimes 25.

How much of this money did you give to Stephen Ward?

I paid the rent. Apart from the rent.

Some money for the phone, about... £25.

I paid for the food as well, you see.

This is not a laughing matter!

Miss Davies, is it not true that you have been negotiating with a number of newspapers to sell your story?

I did, yes.

Does the value of your story not depend upon the conviction of this man?

No.

Do you realise that because of the laws of libel, your story will not have the same value if he is acquitted?

I hope he is acquitted.

Are you still friendly with him?

No.

But I know what it's like in jail.

Mr Burge.

You know quite well that before you ever came on the scene, Lord Astor, who was an old friend of the accused, had lent him substantial sums of money through a solicitor?

I did not know that.

Are you aware that Lord Astor denies any impropriety in his acquaintanceship with you?

Well, he would, wouldn't he?

Just a moment.

Mandy!

Mandy!

I hate this.

I don't know what to say.

Just tell them the truth, Christine. Can't go wrong.

Nothing's gonna happen to you as long as you tell them the truth.

What about Stephen?

What are they going to do to him?

That's his problem, isn't it?

Miss Christine Keeler.


Take the book in your right hand and read what is on the card.

I swear by almighty God that the evidence I shall give shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

When did you first meet the defendant?

When I was at Murray's Club.

Did he start taking you out? We used to go for a coffee.

Did you go down to the cottage at Cliveden?

Yes.

Is it true that you have never had sexual intercourse with the defendant?

Yes.

Were you having sexual intercourse with Peter Rachman?

Yes, I was.

Were you paid anything by way of money or presents by Rachman?

He looked after me. Will you answer the question?

Did Rachman give you money?

Yes, he gave me money.

Did you introduce Mandy Rice-Davies to Ward?

Yes, I think I did. And to Rachman?

Yes, I did.

While you were living at Wimpole Mews, did you have intercourse with any other men?

Yes. How many?

Two or three.

While you were there, did you meet Mr Profumo?

Yes. Did you have intercourse with him?

Yes, I did.

Did he pay you any money?

No.

Once he gave me money for my mother. He gave you money?

On one occasion, yes.

Did you meet a man, Ivanov?

Yes.

Did you have intercourse with him? Yes.

Did you ever introduce girls to Dr Ward?

Yes, I did.

You say you were highly influenced by him. Yes.

What do you mean by that?

Dr Ward has a very charming personality.

He had full control over my mind.

And you left him from time to time?

Yes. How many times, all told?

About eight or nine times. Why did you do that?

Because I knew he had control over me.

And you went back to him? Yes.

How did you come to go back?

He's a very dominating personality.

Mr Burge.

You know, Miss Keeler, the prosecution are endeavouring to prove that Ward has been living on the earnings of prostitution.

Yes, I do. I would like to say that I am not and have never been a prostitute.

While you were living with Ward at Wimpole Mews, is it right to say that you were frequently hard-up for money?

Yes.

And that Ward gave you spending money.

Yes.

It is quite obvious to anyone who has seen you, if you wish to earn money by selling your body you could have made very large sums of money.

Yes.

But while you were living with him it was obvious to everybody that you were not making large sums of money.

Yes, that's right.

Was it not the case that Dr Ward was anxious that you should give up smoking reefers?

No, he smokes them himself.

You have referred to domination of the mind.

Dr Ward, you said, had 'full control' over your mind.

Is this not an expression that appears in your memoirs?

Yes, it is.

That were written for you by a journalist.

Yes.

In fact, you've done pretty well out of this, haven't you?

You sold your story on the most recent occasion to the News of the World for £23,000.

And that's only for the local rights, - nothing to do with the international rights. I had to think of my future.

Is it not the truth of the matter, Miss Keeler, that you have milked the notoriety this sorry affair has given you for every penny piece you can get, without a care in the world for the only man who ever stood by you?

The man who picked you up every time you fell, a man whose only crime, if crime it was, was to be your friend?

This is not fair!

Mr Burge.

I beg your pardon, my lord.

But this... this... this is not fair.


Move back, sir.

Get back!


It's really more than I can stand, the horror day after day in the court and in the street.

It's not only fear, it's the wish not to let them get me.

I'd rather get myself.

I do hope I haven't let people down too much.

I tried to do my stuff.

But after Marshall's summing-up, I've given up all hope.

♪ Come on, come on

♪ Come on, come on

♪ Come on, come on

♪ Come on, come on

♪ Please please me, whoa, yeah

♪ Like I please you... ♪ Turn this way, love.

Once again, this way. That's good.

Smashing. Lovely.

I'm sorry to disappoint the vultures.

I only hope this has done the job.

The car needs oil in the gearbox, by the way.

Be happy in it.

Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen...


♪ Mandy's in the papers cos she tried to go to Spain

♪ She'll soon be in the dock and in the papers once again

♪ Vicki's got her story about the mirror and the cane

♪ It may be false, it may be true

♪ But nothing has been proved

♪ Stephen's in his dressing-gown now, breakfasting alone

♪ Too sick to eat, he's on his feet and to the telephone

♪ The police inspector soothes him with his sympathetic tone

♪ It may be false, it may be true

♪ But nothing has been proved

♪ In the House a resignation

♪ Guilty faces, every one

♪ Christine's fallen out with Lucky, Johnny's got a gun

♪ Please Please Me's number one

♪ It's a scandal, it's a scandal

♪ Such a scandal

♪ Now Stephen's in the dock for spending money that was earned

♪ By Christine, and the prosecution says that money burned

♪ A hole in Stephen's pocket, for expensive sins he yearned

♪ It may be false, it may be true

♪ But nothing has been proved

♪ In the news the suicide note

♪ In the court an empty space

♪ Even Mandy's looking worried, Christine's pale and drawn

♪ Please Please Me's number one

♪ It's a scandal, it's a scandal

♪ Such a scandal

♪ Last night he wrote these words to his friend: Sorry about the mess

♪ I'm guilty till proved innocent in the public eye and press

♪ The funeral's very quiet because all his friends have fled

♪ They may be false, they may be true

♪ They've all got better things to do

♪ They may be false, they may be true

♪ But nothing has been proved

♪ Ooh ♪