Oh, shit. What happened?
What the fuck is this? Damn.
This whole thing is too high.
Oh, Mr. George, help us.
Help us! He doesn't understand what I'm saying. Help us!
Help us. Sorry.
You fucking pig!
Don't go away. You fucking pig!
I wanna get out of here! Shut up!
I'm gonna tie your coat to this.
Please, take it off. You take it off.
Okay. I throw this end out...
...and it will catch something, ok? Hang on to this end so it won't...
...won't fly off.
Okay. Hold it tight! Okay. Okay.
Nadja, we are only short a little bit now.
Hi, my name's George Cinders.
And I'm the president of Palisade Defence.
We're hitting a home run for freedom.
And a time-out for terror.
We work hard to bring you up-to-the-minute technology.
Memo: Must congrat George on terrific performance.
Oh, no, delete "terrific." Make that "fabulous" performance.
For 75 years, we've been supplying the world's greatest nations...
...with the world's latest weaponry.
So when you see this symbol...
...you know you're in safe hands.
We have offices in New York, London, Tokyo, all over the world.
Go on, yeah, yeah. What are you doing?
Ordering myself a little birthday present.
All right, team. Can we have a little less talking, please?
Am I the only one who cares about our marketing strategy?
Or what about our CRM- 114 landmine?
The platoon buster.
What? Ordnance Magazine calls it:
"The most exciting development in concealed termination in years."
Weapons you can trust. Anti-personnel devices you can rely on.
As I speak...
...our team of dedicated individuals are touring Eastern Europe...
...bringing the Palisade message to you.
And they couldn't be more excited.
Richard, why are all the actors in this video white?
They are not all white.
It's just a coincidence, that's all.
So if they were black, that would be a coincidence too, would it?
What is your problem exactly?
You've made a recruitment video for the Hitler Youth.
Oh, there. There you go. See?
What's he? An albino?
Here's the P-40 version 5.
Oh, yeah, okay, that's very sensitive.
It's not funny, Harris.
Freedom, democracy, justice.
Palisade Defence: We'll win the war on terror.
I bloody hope not.
Thank you, Harris.
Something's wrong, it's a short circuit or something.
Smoking is prohibited!
Fire officer, coming through. Gordon, sit down.
No smoking. No smoking. Yes, yes, I know.
Throw it out!
Hey, Billy. What's the plan?
George should be at the lodge waiting for us, with the food.
Good. Good. And the paintball gear?
It's all in the brown bag. Okay.
I'll give you $50 if you stop eating.
I bought some mushrooms off the security guard, Gave him 20 euros. Look how much he's given me. Look.
They look horrible.
Yeah, that's because they're magic mushrooms.
How do you know he didn't pick them off the side of the road...
...and sell them to you?
No, they're proper.
You can tell by the stalks, look.
You eat those, you're gonna go crazy.
I've had these ones before.
You know, they give you a really nice, like, chilled-out high.
And if you're wrong?
Then I'll be somewhere over the rainbow getting fucked by the Tin Man.
What the fuck's going on? Everybody all right?
You all right?
You all right, Jill? Yeah.
The road's blocked. Anybody need first aid?
I might do in 20 minutes.
We can go this way.
No. I heard so much bad about this route that I'm not going in there.
No, I'm not going in there, no way!
But I don't understand what you're saying. The road is fine.
Don't you understand what I'm saying? You don't understand what I'm saying?
This is my last word: No!
The two roads meet up again. You see? Look.
You are a total wacko! Which part of "no" don't you understand?
I'm telling you for the last time, you faggot, I won't go in there!
Why do I have to be shouting all day?
Try to understand that I'm not going on that route, because I'm not!
It's just a detour!
Fucking hell, enough is enough.
It's very dangerous, and I'm not driving there, whatever happens.
There is absolutely no way that I'm going in there.
Go on, Rich.
All right. That's quite enough.
I won't stand for this unprofessional behavior.
You hear me?
Now, you're hired to drive. And drive you will, buddy.
Is that clear?
Great management skills, Dick.
Really, really world-class.
I know it doesn't appear far on the map...
...but it all depends on the scale.
Well, what is the scale?
It's not on here.
Well, an inch is usually a mile, isn't it?
Well, we'll assume that it is.
Well, we can assume, but it's probably safer not to.
Every map I've ever seen, an inch is a mile.
You saying I don't know how to read maps?
No, no. I'm sure you have an excellent knowledge of maps.
It's just that, well, an inch could be two miles or ten.
I'm just saying goodbye.
I'm going back to the hotel. You're doing no such thing.
Then show me the lodge.
The lodge is... Is a mile down that road. No, no, no, hang on a minute.
You're not listening to me. I'm not walking anywhere.
Hey, hey, come on, don't squabble, gang.
It's supposed to be a team-building weekend.
Maybe you can tell Richard...
...because he seems to think we're on a walking holiday.
Wait a minute. Stop the coach. Stop.
Stop the bus. Fucking hell.
Come on, now.
What was that?
Probably just a bear.
Just a bear? There are no bears in Hungary.
Are you sure? Yes.
Well, that's assuming we're still in Hungary.
If we cross the border into Romania, then there are bears.
If we're in Serbia...
...then I'm not sure.
Well, that's really interesting, Richard.
Are bears required to stop at borders?
I mean, is there some sort of passport control for bears?
Better watch your tone, young man.
Or what? Oh, please.
No. Or what?
That sounded further away. There.
If it was a bear, which it wasn't...
...it's moved on. Come on.
Richard, I really think we should stick to the main road.
No, no. This way's much quicker.
Come on. I'm with Richard.
Have I pissed myself?
I feel damp.
Well, you look all right. I'm not gonna touch you.
Have I pissed my pants? I'm just saying I don't think so.
What's wrong with you? I feel all damp.
You're fine. You're fine.
Okay, so working on the assumption that an inch is not a mile...
...what's the worst-case scenario?
An inch is a thousand miles?
If he's messing around then he's in big trouble.
We should stay with the bags.
Steve, you're all right, mate?
I saw someone.
I don't know.
The weirdest thing's just happened. Hear?
I needed to have a slash, so I pulled me trousers down...
...you know, I felt a little bit damp and I didn't wanna get a rash.
I was about to have a piss...
...and I saw a geezer with a balaclava...
...and a suitcase.
No, more of a travel bag.
So you've come over... Steve.
Yes? The mushrooms.
What mushrooms? You ate them.
Look after him, okay? Yeah, sure.
Now, I know we're mates...
...but if you look at my cock one more time, I'm gonna kick off.
What are you talking about? I have not once looked at your winkie.
You turn around.
Okay, everybody. Prepare to smile.
Isn't it wonderful? It's a dump.
What do you expect, the Hilton? The Hilton would be good.
We're in the country.
You're not gonna stay here, are you? Right now, I'd sleep in a cave.
That's the spirit.
Someone in the woods.
Yeah, you already said that. Come on.
This isn't the right place. This is the right place.
This obviously is not the right place.
It is the right place. Billy.
Well, there's only one lodge on the map, so I suppose...
...just the lobby.
This place is fantastic.
Steve, it's just a rope. It's just a rope.
As a big thank-you for the last few weeks on the road...
...George and I cordially invite you to join us on a team-building weekend...
...in Palisade's newly-acquired luxury lodge."
Okay, okay, okay. Now listen up, everyone.
This is not a holiday.
This is a business.
And team-building weekends...
...like it or not, are part of that business. Hear, hear.
This is our chance to find out about ourselves.
Oh, yeah. Sure, we'll have fun...
We need to take ownership of the weekend.
And that means working together.
Richard, I have an idea... Now... Shh!
I can't spell "success"...
"Success" has only one U.
Daddy couldn't put us all through Cambridge, could he, Harris?
Now, George wants us to be the best team possible.
And if that means digging in a little, then I'm sorry.
You think this place is a dump? Well, think about this.
Maybe it's supposed to be.
I've had tougher challenges.
Now, let's make this our challenge.
Explain to me how staying in this shithole...
...is gonna help me sell landmines.
Look, all I'm asking is don't be so happy all the time.
I'm only trying to be positive. No, you're not.
You're like a dog tied to a radiator, wagging its tail.
That's not a compliment.
Look for the generator in there, will you?
You got any light bulbs in your bag, Gordon?
Yeah. Give me two secs.
You should go and get some sleep.
I think you're right.
I've been waiting for you, Richard.
I want you to fuck me.
I mean, I'd like to.
Fuck me now, and fuck me hard.
...what's going on?
Great management skills, Dick.
I can't believe it.
I had no idea Palisade were this involved in Eastern Europe.
You're joking, right?
Where did you get this stuff?
Found it next to the generator.
There's stacks of it out there. It's all Soviet.
That doesn't mean it's one of the asylums.
Well, it doesn't rule it out either, does it?
Right, you lot.
Do you wanna put those cards away, please, Jill?
Feast your eyes...
...on this. Mind yourselves, it is hot.
It actually smells quite nice.
Not eating, Maggie? No, thanks. Not hungry.
Okay, rest of you then, get stuck in, there is plenty to go around.
Do you wanna get some spoons out, please, Jill?
You're all right, Steve? Feeling okay? You know what, piss off.
Are you still tripping? No.
Why are you naked?
Harris, you were saying about the asylums.
Harris seems to think we're staying in an old lunatic asylum.
Are we? No.
Go on, tell us about the asylums.
Are you sure you want me to?
Because, you know, it's pretty scary, mate.
I'll take my chances.
This story takes place a long time ago, way back before the first World War.
When movies were silent and women were even quieter.
The government had been getting these strange complaints about the asylum.
So the sent an inspector around to check it out.
He arrives late one night to see what's going on.
Everything seems fine when the wardens agree to show him around.
But everything isn't fine.
Everything's not fine at all.
All the inmates are going crazy, screaming at him to let them out.
Then he realizes what's wrong.
The inmates have taken over and locked up all the doctors.
And then they turn on him.
He tried to reason with them...
...but there's no reasoning with the mentally insane.
Guess who they called to sort out the mess? Us.
Palisade sent the boys in...
...spread the place with nerve agent, killed everyone. It was a massacre.
But rumor has it...
...one inmate survived.
Hell-bent on killing any Palisade employee that should cross his path.
They say he's still on the loose.
So that's supposed to be scary? Well, it was at the time.
Believe it or not, there is a tiny bit of truth in his story.
Damn right there is. A tiny bit.
It actually occurred in the early '90s when the Soviet Union broke up.
Places like this were detention centers for war criminals.
Soldiers who liked the killing a little bit too much.
They were lunatics.
They wiped out whole villages...
...burnt people alive, put heads on spikes. They were savages.
Their government locked them away, tried to cure them, but it was no good.
...hid in some empty buildings nearby, but not for long.
Obviously, it wasn't Palisade who killed them.
It was their government.
But it was us who supplied the weapons.
Oh, and Harris...
...if anyone did survive...
...revenge would be the last thing on their minds.
What would be on their minds?
These guys were war criminals, remember?
Yeah. Well, excuse me...
...for being the only sensible one here, but this place is a lodge.
Okay? It's not a mental home, it's not a prison, it's a lodge.
It was a sex lodge.
Right. It was.
I'm telling you.
You see, back in the '60s...
...these places were hospitals for rich old men.
And all the nurses were these naughty looking birds with great big shooters.
Anyway, being stuck all the way out here, they used to get really lonely.
So they tried it on with the old boys.
These poor old fuckers, they was on death's door.
They couldn't get it up.
So they decided to just get hold of each other.
One day this fellow turns up out of the blue.
Young geezer, bit of bollocks about him.
They chased him.
They caught him and...
...well, he was fucked.
Have you ever taken anything seriously in your life?
Ecstasy and weed, I think.
Hey, gang. How are we all doing? Brilliant.
Hi, Maggie. Hi.
Why are you all so obsessed with what I eat? I am not too skinny.
No, no, no. I don't mean...
Just that you'll need your energy for the team games, you know.
I mean, you're perfect just the way you are.
And, when I say perfect, I obviously don't mean that in a sexual way.
I mean perfect in a neutral way.
As if I were another woman saying that you were perfect. You know?
Just one woman to another.
Not that I'm implying anything like that.
Or that there's anything wrong with that...
...sort of thing.
Keep digging, we can still see you.
A bit young to be losing your teeth, aren't you?
It's not mine.
It's not my tooth. Maybe it's just a clove.
Does it look like a fucking clove?
I'm gonna puke. Could it be the cow's tooth?
A cow with gold fillings?
Who made the pie?
No, I didn't make it. I found it.
I found it. You found a pie?
It was wrapped in foil.
Oh, well, that's a relief. Jesus.
You dirty bastard.
Okay, everyone calm down.
Come on, Jill. Jill, come with me.
I'm gonna be sick. No.
Okay, look, I'm sorry, everybody. I thought it was a welcome gift.
From who? I don't know.
George wouldn't bring a pie.
No. It could've been sitting here for months.
Look at this place. I cooked it for the full hour.
What, it had instructions on it? No, but it's a pie.
You don't cook every pie for an hour.
You don't think I undercooked it, do you?
Yeah. Okay, fine. Look, it's gone.
I'm throwing the pie in the bin. It's gone.
All right. That makes me feel better.
Good night, sweetie. Good night.
Hey, hey, hey.
What's the matter? What's going on? There was a man at my window.
What happened? I saw someone.
Where's...? What's going on?
Jill saw someone.
Who? What did he look like?
He had a mask.
Nobody ate my mushrooms, did they?
Shut up. Gordon, do you have anything to help calm her down?
I'll check my bag.
Have you seen anything? No.
What do you think? You're the boss, you think.
Perhaps you were dreaming.
I saw someone. I wasn't dreaming, look at me.
His face was covered in a mask. I was not dreaming.
I found some Calms. They're herbal.
Come on, there's no one here.
It was probably just some locals messing around.
Looking through a window one story up?
We need to get out of here.
Yeah, I'm leaving.
Fifty says I'm going with her.
No one is going anywhere. What did you find?
There's some structures in the trees, but they're too far to reach the window.
There, you see? Gang, this is what's gonna happen.
Tomorrow morning, we go to the top of the hill, see if we can get a signal.
Get somebody to pick us up, take us back to the hotel.
What, my son?
Great idea, Harris.
No, that is not a great idea.
Anyone who leaves won't have a job to come back to.
I don't care. Count me in. Yeah, I'm with her.
I'm sorry, but he's right.
Should I make some tea?
All right. Listen.
Jill, I want you to sleep on it.
Then, in the morning, if you still feel the same way, well...
...I'll come up with a plan.
I feel the same way.
Okay. Listen up, everyone.
Get over here. Come on.
I've made a decision.
We're gonna sit tight. We...
We sit tight, while...
Harris, I want you and Jill to go up the hill.
To go up the hill and see if you can get a phone signal.
Get the coach driver...
...to come and pick us up. Oh, sweet.
I've made this decision purely because of the food situation.
And... And it is conditional.
While they're gone, the rest of us will do a little team-building.
Excuse me. I just wanna make it really clear...
...before we begin, that paintballing is about teamwork, all right?
So no Rambos.
I repeat, absolutely no Rambos.
Hey, how is your project going?
Pretty good, thanks.
So what are these things? They're humane landmines, right?
They're not landmines.
They're mobilization units. Right.
And they do what? They... They sort of grab you, yeah?
They pin you to the floor. They don't blow children's legs off.
They're humane. They're a hard sell, that's what they are.
I'm sorry, I don't understand why in the 21st century...
...we create such sick weapons.
The guillotine seems humane.
There's nothing humane about the guillotine.
Well, at least it's instantaneous.
There's nothing instantaneous about the guillotine.
When your head's chopped off, your brain can think for about 2 to 3 minutes.
What, you're saying that you're aware that your head is cut off?
I'm saying that when Marie-Antoinette had her head chopped off...
...she felt it hit the basket.
She saw blood pumping out of her own stump.
That's not true.
It is a hundred percent biological fact.
Do you think he crashed?
I don't know.
Oh, my God.
We gotta get the others.
We can't just leave him here.
I'm not saying that I fancy anyone in particular.
I'm just saying that if I did like someone...
...I wouldn't know the best way to approach them.
Dating is complicated in England. What are you talking about?
English birds ain't complicated.
You buy them a Bacardi Breezer and they'll ride you like Seabiscuit.
But what if she's not English? What if she's French, or Spanish, or...
So what do you think?
I don't wanna be unkind...
...but I think you got more chance of getting shits out of a rocking horse.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Come on, I got you.
Get up, you cheating bastard.
See, all this Maggie stuff...
...it's because your bird left you.
It's because your plums are backing up.
It's driving you nuts. It's confusing you...
...making you think you love her.
Anyway, I think she likes you.
What are you talking about? Go, go, go.
We won. You're dead.
Oh, the bullet missed my vital organs. I survived, it's a miracle.
Here we go. Safeties off.
Here comes the ref. Right.
Oh, you really got into that. Brilliant.
I think we bent a few rules here and there.
Steve shot Richard and he didn't die.
No one shot me. We shot someone and it wasn't Maggie.
All right, well, I think that someone, and I'm not pointing any fingers...
...has been wiping off paint.
And it does clearly state in the rules...
This is total war, there are no rules. Right, well, it do...
Stop it. Stop!
That is really dangerous.
If you got one of those in your eye, it could pop like a Ping-Pong ball.
It's not funny. That hurts.
I expect more from some of you.
Gordon, you gotta be still.
Steve, get on the other side. Quick.
Get it off! You have to stop moving.
Pull your leg out.
Now, pull it now.
Pull your leg out now. Stop!
You gotta fucking move it.
Now! Pull your leg out.
Steve, you fucking idiot. All right, for fuck's sake.
We'll get you out.
Pull it out, pull it out.
Okay, Gordon. Shit.
Okay, we gotta stop the bleeding. Billy, give me your belt.
You're gonna be okay. You have to calm down for me, Gordon.
We're gonna stop the bleeding. Yeah, yeah.
What the fuck's going on here?
Billy, hold his hand.
Will you help me?
What are you doing? What are you doing?
Steve, help me out here.
You're gonna be okay.
Get on the coach... Stop!
We gotta go right now. Don't move.
What the fuck happened? They're bear traps. They're everywhere.
Someone's trying to kill us. Like they killed the driver.
All right, just get on the coach.
Will somebody help us, please? What are we gonna do?
He could be watching us right now. Jill, you're not helping.
What are we gonna do with his leg? We need to keep it cold.
There's a refrigerator in the coach. Great, thank you.
Oh, you're shitting me.
All right, all right, for fuck's sake.
Don't stop. It's going as fast as it can.
Steve, I need something to cover his leg.
Harris, slow down. I think you're going too fast.
Someone give me something to cover his leg, for fuck's sake!
I think I've broke me arm.
We've gotta head back to the lodge.
We've gotta find Jill.
Keep your voice down.
Someone's killed Harris, you understand?
Who's to say he didn't kill Jill as well?
Now, we head back to the lodge, and we lock ourselves in till morning.
And then we walk. Where?
I don't know. Well, glad we got that solid.
Hey, unless you have a better idea, we go back to the lodge.
You little bitch!
You gonna die!
You gonna burn like a witch!
Just put him down.
We need to lock off that thing.
This is bollocks. This is fucking bollocks.
It's safer in here.
Listen to me, I'm not waiting here for him to turn up. It's madness.
What do you suggest we do with Gordon?
I'll carry him myself if I have to. Just keep your voices down.
What if the stories about this place were true?
Well, mine wasn't. What stories?
There were asylums, someone escaped. Someone who knows we're Palisade.
Yeah, but how would they know that? Well, the bus. It's not exactly subtle.
Those stories are nonsense.
Who told you? Jill? Harris?
Do you know how many conspiracies I hear regarding weapons companies?
No, Richard. How many? I'll tell you how many I believe.
None. We're a public company.
Members of both our governments are on the board.
They're not going to do anything immoral.
Arguing is not gonna help us out, okay?
You said you wanted us to work as a team. Well, now is the time to start.
Look, just help me get some wood.
We need to board ourselves in, all right?
With what? I don't know.
Check Gordon's bag or something.
Well, he's not gonna have hammer and nails in there, is he?
Oh, for fuck's sake.
I've got some pills.
What kind of pills?
Have a party.
No, not for me. For him.
What do you mean?
Well, we're not gonna get him up tap-dancing...
...but, you know, it'll take the edge off for a while.
Take one of these, yeah? It’ll sort you out.
I don't do drugs.
It's okay, sweetheart. These are painkillers.
They're gonna make you feel better.
Just take one.
Here. Here you go. Here you go.
You're all right?
I'm sorry about earlier, flaring up and all that.
You were okay.
Listen, I wanna say something to you.
Sometimes I act like an idiot, you know.
I say things when I shouldn't. And...
Shit, I've left Gordon's foot on the coach.
I love you, Maggie.
Of course you do. No, seriously. No, I mean it.
I really mean it.
It's just the drugs, Gordon. No, it's not the drugs.
I'm really... I'm really, really...
I love you.
And I loved Jill. I really... I really, really, really loved Jill.
Steve, you got any downers?
Not in my things. Maggie, Maggie, I told you, I love you.
Where are you going? Toilet.
Can't you hold on?
Don't worry, I'll be right back.
If we don't get him to a hospital, he's gonna die.
I think maybe we should leave him.
What are you saying?
I think our best chance for survival is if the four of us get to the main road.
And I think it's Gordon's best shot as well.
I think you're right. I think we should go.
This door was locked.
Gordon. Billy, be quiet.
We should go back upstairs.
Yeah. Well, I'd hate to be accused of not killing him when I had the chance.
...I think he'll be all right there.
Don't you fucking move!
We got a problem.
Yeah, no shit.
No, we got another problem. That was our last bullet.
Put your fucking guns down.
Put your guns down or I'll blow your motherfucking balls off!
Come on, guys, let's get them!
On your left! On your left!
What are you doing? Don't move.
The place is mined, the whole place is mined.
How do you know?
I'm standing on one.
CR-1 platoon buster.
One of ours.
Oh, shit. Yeah.
Richard, they're coming.
All right, follow my footsteps.
Then jump to the trees.
Hey! Come on. Come on!
Over here. Come on!
Hi! I got your dumb ass!
He won't go anywhere now.
He's already a dead man.
Oh, you're laughing at me?
You won't be fucking laughing when I take my foot off this.
There was no use running around from us, it's all over now.
Step away, Borya.
Eat it, bitch!
Hey, Maggie. Steve. Where the hell you been?
Are you Mr. Steve?
We are Nadia and Olga from the escort agency.
No, no, there are mines.
Let's walk on the logs.
On the trunks.
Come on, guys, follow me!
Yeah, yeah. Come on, everybody.
Why not be my fucking guests?
Is this where we are?
What are...? Have you been to the lake?
Yes. Are there boats there?
Yes. Okay, leave your shit and follow us.
Would someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?
There are about five seriously sick fuckers coming our way to kill us.
So you can either help us...
...or fuck off.
When you say "sick fuckers," what do you mean here? Terrorists?
Call them what you want.
Come on, let's go. Hold it. No one's going anywhere.
I've been waiting to demonstrate this for a while.
You stamp "terrorist" on it, and I'll kill it.
Wait till they get a load of this. Sweet.
Those the little bastards?
All right. Get back.
Where are you?
Maggie? I'm in some kind of trap.
Steve, he's coming!
Oh, my God.
Get off of me!
Get off... No!
This is gonna hurt.
Hello? Hello. Do you speak English?
English? Yes, English.
I need you to send help. I need help.
Yes, please hold.
Come on, then, you fuck! You...!