Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators S2E7 Script

Nothing Will Come of Nothing (2019)

Let's do it for Papa.

I'm a dead man.


Morning, Jim!

Morning. Y'alright? Ooh, sorry to put you off!

Wow! Hi!

You look like, erm... oh, who is it?

From ABBA.

Oh, yeah. The blonde one?

No, the one with the beard.

Where's your toy car?

It's parked a few streets away so I can get a little jog in before work.

Yeah, I'm currently studying "surveillance and pursuit."

Really? Yeah.

My tutor says it's important for PIs to keep fit, you know?

In case they have to chase suspects.

So, from now on my body is a temple.

And it's just gonna be exercise, no junk food.

Oh, you won't want one of these then, will you?

Look at them...

Ooh, no, no, no.

Mm.

Oh... Mm.

Tenner says you won't make it. You're on!

Oh, hello. Morning. This is Ava Foyle.

Please, I need you to find my husband. He's gone missing.

Oh, come through, let's take some details.

Very retro.

Is there any coffee in the pot? Yes.

And for Miss Fonda?

A-ha!

No, I only drink water now.

We will require payment up-front.

A small deposit will be fine.

So, have you told the police yet?

They're not interested.

Lorenzo's only been missing for three days.

Well, how d'you know he hasn't just gone... He wouldn't leave me, I'm pregnant and he's really happy.

Did he have any money on him or valuables?

No, he's flat broke.

The only thing he owned was the air that he breathed.

Um, I brought a photo.

Oh, well... he's... isn't he?

He's got a nice suit.

He has that effect on most women.

Oh, my... And men, for that matter.

Isn't...?

Yeah, he's, um...

He owns the butchers. Foyle's Butchers on the high street!

Yeah, we closed.

Lorenzo's a compulsive gambler.

I'm guessing he owes money.

Yeah, to lots of places. I've made a list.

Where was the last place he was seen?

The Globe Casino. It's where I work.

And it's where Lorenzo spends all his time.

After you, dear sister.

No, no. After you, dear sister.

I've been trying to contact you for days.

I've been away.

Naughty weekend with Lorenzo, eh?

What on earth do you want with me? A proposition.

Ah, thank you for both being so punctual.

As you know... you're our most valued customers.

To the point, dear sister, to the point.

Patience, dear sister, patience.

Now... both of you have gone beyond your credit limit and the matter needs to be addressed.

Well, that's clearly fake.

Nonsense.

Ah, Ava, my dear...

This is Mr Hathaway.

I've hired him to help me find Lorenzo.

A private investigator.

It is indeed a pleasure to meet you, sir.

I am Ms King and this is my sister, Queenie.

I was hoping to ask you a few questions...

It's a heart.

It was addressed to...

"the casino locals."

"All my love...

Lorenzo."

No.

Ava?

A pound of flesh, eh?

All I get in the post is final demands.

I'm just waiting for a taxi.

What are you doing with it?

I've got an old mate in forensics.

Surely you don't think it's Lorenzo's?

I mean, he clearly sent it.

Well, I'm just gonna get it checked out.

I hope you don't mind me asking, when was the last time you saw him?

The day he went missing.

We were out here.

He was planning to leave Stratford. What, he told you that?

He felt trapped at the prospect of becoming a father.

That's a bit of a personal thing to reveal, isn't it?

I thought he was just some punter who played in the casino?

Well, you don't have to be a private detective to work that one out.

I wasn't the only silly old fool to succumb to his charms.

Lorenzo!

Well? Didn't you miss me, babe?

I've been worried sick about you.

How could you just leave me?

I had to take care of a little business.

That's what you used to say when you were with her.

Ah. You know that's all over, huh?

Come over here, babe.

Come over here.

You know that you're my little passion fruit.

Huh? Am I?

Yes.

I told you, I'm not going anywhere.

This is a new start for us.

For me, for you and for the little bambino.

Huh?

Come over here, vieni qua, dai.

Come over here, babe.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Ava. It's Lu.

Frank said you were a bit upset so I thought I'd just come and see if you're alright.

You'd better come up.

Frank told me about the heart.

I don't know what to think.

Shall I pop the kettle on?

Lorenzo sold it... along with everything else.

Right, to pay for his gambling?

Ava...

I hate to have to ask you this, but... do you think there's a chance that Lorenzo's committed suicide?

No!

Right.

Good.

Turns out it was a pig's heart.

I've been in touch with Ava.

No doubt a goodbye joke from Lorenzo to his admirers.

He has a macabre sense of humour.

Bit of a joker, is he?

He once put a sheep's eyeball in a punter's drink for staring at his groin.

Wow.

He would've had ready access to animal parts, being a butcher.

Used to make lovely pies though.

Mr Hathaway?

They were prosecuted for using dog food.

Anyway... is there any CCTV footage of the day he went AWOL?

No.

The wires of our security cameras were recently cut.

By who? Suspected thieves.

This place is a magnet for pickpockets.

But you did see Lorenzo before he took off?

Yes.

He lost a lot at the roulette table.

Must've needed a big win.

How much did he owe the casino?

Not a penny.

Like taking candy from a baby.

Jasper Snout. He often plays poker with Lorenzo.

Right.

Room for one more?

So, how do we play this then?

Do you want to give me some tips?

I don't think so.

Oh...

Hit me up.

I don't know...

Hello.

I thought you worked as a croupier?

And as a cleaner and bar staff.

I need all I can get to pay off Lorenzo's debts.

Debts? You mean the money he owed the casino?

Yeah.

Thousands.

Oh, shh... sugar.

Sister... please play your hand.

All in good time, dear sister. All in good time.

Some of them haven't got a clue what they're doing.

I didn't know you could play poker?

Sort of picked it up just now, watching.

See, Jasper should have folded.

Ms King has got absolutely nothing.

It's Queenie's game.

I think you'll find it's mine.

See? There you go.

It's just numbers, isn't it?

You've been counting cards without even knowing it.

You're a genius.

Shh! Go away.

You're gonna blow my cover.

I'll go back outside. It's the last place Queenie saw Lorenzo.


I got your text.

Yeah, someone threw this at me in the casino yard.

I didn't see who.

Are you alright? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

I'll send it off to get tested for fingerprints, but...

I bet they were wearing gloves.

Do you think someone was trying to scare you off the case?

Maybe, but who?

Oh, is that the package the heart came in? Eh!

I'm trying to get rid of the stain so I can see the postmark.

Let's have a look. Uh!

I know what you need.

Hydrogen peroxide...

Don't tell me, you got it on an online course?

No. I'm doing my mum's highlights after work.

Careful.

Ah!

Newcastle.

Well, I suppose we start looking for Lorenzo there.

Yes, if things added up round here but they don't, do they?

Look.

Lorenzo told Queenie... he was leaving.

Ava said the opposite.

Now, Ms King said Lorenzo owed the casino nothing but Ava said he owed thousands.

So which one's telling the truth?

Oi, mate! What you doing?

Sorry.

We need to get into the casino office see if we can find any files on Lorenzo's debt.

Yeah, except if we get caught, we'll never be allowed back in there.

We need a third party.

Someone who likes disguises.

No offence, but you look like a '70s pimp.

Really?

Shucks.

Update on Lorenzo's bank account and phone records no activity for days.

Oh, well, sounds like he doesn't want to be found.

Mm. So where's this office?

It's round to the left. Frank's gonna keep a lookout for you.

And while I risk prison, what perchance might you be doing?

I'm... gonna have a little chat with Lady Chaucer.

Cos I think something was going on with her and Lorenzo.

Wish me luck.


Code red, code red. Get out of there now!

Sebastian, get out.


Are you alright?

Yeah...

No. No, not really...

But then it's my own fault for falling for a younger man.

The one with the trilby?

I couldn't help noticing you together.

I should have just stayed well clear.

They always let you down.

You sound like you're speaking from experience?

His name was Lorenzo...

Oh! Italian.

He said he was going to win a fortune... and then he just left.

Typical.

So you're not in contact anymore?

Not exactly.

The nights are the worst...

No, the nights, yeah.

Still, maybe... maybe one day he'll get back in touch.

You never know.

Is he... is he local?

He's not far.

He's...

Oh! Sorry.

I need to go.

Oh... well, that's a shame.

Cos I was really enjoying this, just chatting you know, having so much in common...

Me too.

Maybe we could do this again sometime, you know?

I'd like that.

Yeah? Yeah.

You know, just maybe a glass of wine, maybe a coffee or something?

Would be nice, wouldn't it? That would be nice.

Oh, great.

Thanks.

A word.

Excuse me. About my proposition...

I haven't got that sort of money at hand.

Then pawn those.

Ugh, I knew it.

Fakes.

Well, you better sort something out soon.

Where's your disguise?

Cloakroom.

I checked in the office.

Lorenzo had paid off his debt to the casino.

So Ms King was telling the truth. But why didn't Lorenzo tell Ava?

Perhaps it wasn't money he paid his debts with?

Or Ava was lying?

But then why hire you?

To make herself look innocent.

Mm... innocent of what?

Hello.

Are you new here?

Mm, just looking for an old friend.

Lorenzo.

Lorenzo Foyle? Don't talk to me about him.

His name alone makes my skin crawl.

He upset you then?

Here we are, my friend.

Two Bloody Mary's.

So what's this plan of yours?

I can't tell... but my life is about to change forever.

More hot air.

You're a clown, Lorenzo. No.

No, because this time it's different.

And I'm going right to the top!

Cheers.

Vodka and lamb's blood!

Eurgh...

Ugh... Cheers!

God...

Such a warped sense of humour.

Oh... have you seen him since? No.

Probably lying in the gutter somewhere.

You don't think something bad's actually happened to him, do you?

If it has, I can guess who's responsible.

You'd think the same if you saw my pocket rocket.

Oooh! Mm...

Oh, how intriguing...

Ah! Naughty.

Lady Chaucer seems to know where Lorenzo is but she's not saying.

Well, we need to follow that up.

In the meantime, keep an eye on Sebastian.

Some slime-ball's taken a shine to him.

Well, where is he? In the bar.

Well, I'm in the roulette room.

Me too.

Hey.

Jasper has info about Lorenzo on a USB stick.

Time for my swift exit.

I, uh... hear you've got something that might be of interest to me.

Ugh... so pretty boy was working for you?

The little tease.

You're obviously a gambling man.

How about a game of poker?

You lose, you give me the USB stick.

You win, you get a grand.

It's worth a lot more than that.

Ten thousand.

Ten grand? You're having a laugh. Pah!

OK. OK.

How do I know you're not some card shark?

Because you won't be playing me.

Meet your opponent.

Oh...

Bring it on.

What are you doing?

I can't play poker, I've never played poker in my life.

Remember when you were counting the cards?

Hm? Just do that.

You are a genius. You're a genius.


I've bought you some more passion fruit.

Are they really an aphrodisiac?

Don't be mad.

I was so close to telling, but then... I got scared.

Things have changed now

and I'm going to do the right thing.

Stroke my head like you used to.


I just realised you can't count cards when there's only two players.

Uh, no helping.

Yeah...


Ava, could I just, er...?

Your call.

Yeah, erm...

Left...

What?

I think I "left"... I think I left my brain at home.

I'm just...

You know. Mm.

So, I...

All in.

Beat that.

I think I just have.

Ugh.

Come to Mama.

Where'd you park the car?

Couple of streets away so I could get another power-walk in.

Hey, good work.

Oh, yeah! Who knew?

Oh, I should ring Lady Chaucer, shouldn't I?

See if she wants to meet up now that we're BFFs.

Hello. Lady Chaucer... - Help me.

Help me!

Hello? - Help me!

Bludgeoned to death.

Any witnesses? No.

So how do you know her?

Regular at the Casino. She was having an affair with a bloke we're looking for.

OK. I'm gonna need statements.

I mean, wow. Talk about obsessed.

Should we be giving them the USB stick?

Not yet.

Funny how the killer chose the heart sculpture, isn't it?

Do you think it was one of Lorenzo's jokes...?

Ooh! Mmm.

Present from Gloria.

D'you want one? Yeah!

No. No, thank you.

Oh, here we are.

I want this...

Oh, he's even more handsome on screen.

"Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till tonight..."

Anything yet?

They're playing... uh, it's poker?

Strip poker.

Mm...

OK, I see what the big appeal is.

Murdered?

But why?

I dunno.

There was a certain film we came across.

Do you know anything about it?

It belonged to Lorenzo.

But he agreed to give it to me.

You?

In exchange for wiping his casino debt.

That's very generous.

Lady Chaucer was a dear friend.

I wanted to protect her reputation.

He was going to blackmail her.

Are there any other copies of the film?

Not that I know of.

I warned Lorenzo that if any surfaced, that would be the end of the deal.

And you gave it to Lady Chaucer?

That was indeed my intention. But before I could...

it vanished.

Ava. all these tears.

He's not worth it.

It's time you knew the truth.

Lady Chaucer wasn't the only one.

What?

There were... others. I'm sorry.

So, you stole the USB from Ms King.

Were you gonna blackmail Lady Chaucer with it?

That gold chip... that's a broach.

Lady Chaucer was wearing that.

Police are looking for the killer.

Shall we have a word with them? No.

Don't do that. Inspector...

I'm innocent. She had it first.

What's going on?

Jasper just placed a bet with Lady Chaucer's broach.

Where did you get it from?

From the body? No!

I...

I stole it from Ava's bag.

I found it on the floor.

On the floor? Ava's the killer!

Not me!

She hated Lady Chaucer.

OK. Arrest him for theft, for starters.

And I'm bringing you in for questioning on suspicion of murder.

No! No!

Ava! No!

"Rose cheek'd Adonis..."

Oh, you naughty boy, you.

No, I was just trying to get a closer look at his face.

Yeah.

You don't really think that Ava killed Lady Chaucer, do you?

Well, she had the motive.

Yeah, but...

So, if the police are after Ava now, does that mean we're off the case?

No. We were hired to find Lorenzo, we haven't done it yet.

What's he eating?

Passion fruit.

There was a mouldy passion fruit in the casino yard.

What, so you think Lorenzo has been there?

Yeah, but why? There's nothing there.

I'm gonna take another look.

Hello?

Oh, Ava.

Alright, alright, calm down...

Yeah...

Look, my car's parked on Shylock Road.

Why don't you meet me there? OK. Bye.

Be careful.

Ava's not the killer.

How do you know? She's just not the type.

"One may smile, and smile... and be a villain."


Oh!


Slashed by Jasper.

That's how the broach ended up on the floor.

You took it from Lady Chaucer to plant on someone else.

After you murdered her.

Ava?

Ava, are you there?

Lu!

I need your help. The police are watching my flat.

You really should just turn yourself in.

No.

Trust me, as soon as they find Lorenzo, everything's gonna be fine.

God, I wish I could believe that.

I'm probably being silly but it's just something that Queenie said...

About the affairs?

Maybe she's lying.

He said it was a fresh start for us...

And you believed him?

He loves me. He always has.

Look, Ava, I know it's not my place to say this but I really do think you could do better.

Ava!

Stay where you are.

You led them to me. No!

Actually, you did.

We had a feeling that Ava might be in touch so we put a tail on you.

Sorry. Ava, I'm sorry!

I... I'll put everything right.

Lady Chaucer was my friend.

Why would I murder her?

Because she knew what happened to Lorenzo.

Well, why didn't she tell someone sooner?

You were blackmailing her with the film.

And when she realised you didn't have it anymore...

She could reveal the truth.

The stakes must have been high.

That passion fruit in the yard splattered, like it had been dropped from a height.

Did she see you kill him?

You tell me.

Lorenzo said he was "going straight to the top."

Up here, perhaps? Such a clever fellow, Mr Hathaway.

He also said he was gonna win a fortune.

You have some kind of bet with him?

But he had nothing to gamble with.

Ava said all he owned was the air that he breathed.

Exactly.

He gambled with his life?

Ms King, I will do whatever it takes to become a winner.

Is it just a myth?

How you won your fortune playing the Roulette of Death?

Years ago in Vegas.

I risked my life twice.

Would you play again...

with me?

All or nothing?

If I win, I want a million.

If I lose...

I forfeit my life.

I take it he lost.

That's when he ended up down there.

Come on... let's do it for Papa.

I'm a dead man.

Indeed you are.

The police will catch you, you know that.

Huh? A bet must be honoured.

No, no. You won't get away with it.

After what you did to my sister... it will be a pleasure.

Is that why you threw the knife at me?

Cos I got too close to the body?

So where is Lorenzo Foyle?

Mm, I dunno... maybe under the sewer grate?

You are indeed a match for me, sir.

Is that when Lady Chaucer saw you?

Mr Hathaway, my entire life has been about gambling.

My parents ran a penny arcade on the coast.

We're talking about murder... Gambling is in my blood, sir.

It is what I live for.

Lorenzo had to pay his debt.

With his life?

Come, come, I had no choice.

If we do not adhere to the rules of the game, what is the point of anything?

Frank.

Please refrain from making any sudden moves.

She must be the killer.

Now, if you would be so kind as to step into the back room.

I have a little proposition.

I'm going to give you the same chance I gave Lorenzo.

Red... you both live.

Black... you both die.

No, you can't...

Spin it.

Last chance... before I shoot you.

I should tell you that... Spin it.


Yes!

As I said.

My life would be meaningless... if I did not honour my bets.

I shan't kill you.

But my sister will.

Wh...

House always wins.

Y-you had a thing with Lorenzo?

He used me!

Conned me out of thousands then... discarded me.

Surely you can't agree with what your sister's done?

I hated him.

When I heard about his proposal, I pushed to make it happen.

The Roulette of Death!

Just like the old days in Vegas...

Is Lorenzo with you now?

You won't go through with it, dear sister.

You've softened.

I'll bet you anything you want.

Name the wager.

What was the bet for?

I almost forgot...

A one pound chip?

It's the winning that counts, Mr Hathaway.

Everything's just a game to you.

Did you send the pig's heart from Newcastle?

I was there for a meeting.

We had to make it look like Lorenzo was alive and playing one of his sick jokes.

To the point, sister, to the point.

Time to dispose of them.

No, I have to let you know that Frank signalled to me from the balcony.

So I have called the police.

You would have said.

Yeah. I tried to tell you earlier.

You're bluffing.

Maybe.

But I've watched you play poker and I know you don't play like your sister.

You don't take risks. You play the long odds.

Get on with it!

Just think about it if the police arrive and they find us dead, you will be arrested for murder.

But if you let us go...

You'll only be charged as an accessory.

Just shoot them!

Don't leave this to chance.

There are only low numbers left in the pack.

Just do the maths.

Sister... Shut up!

Calculate the odds.

Are they in your favour?

Yes or no?

Sister!

Play or fold?

Fold.

Call Marlowe.

Give me DI Marlowe.

It was a bluff.

You fool.

Can you take her?

Thank you. Give me the cane.

Give me the cane.

Thank you.

You almost got yourself killed. Again.

Maybe you should think about early retirement. Again.

Well, and do what? Take up boules or bingo, or...?

Well, it's better than ending up in a body bag.

Yeah, which you would, if those two were playing.

Yeah.

Hah! Oh!

Oh, I knew you wouldn't last.

You owe me a tenner.

Uh, no, actually, cos I didn't take a bite.

Wh...?

Lu.

Hello, Ava, how you doing?

Well, it's awful, what's happened to Lorenzo.

You deserved better.

You gonna be OK, though?

Well, I've got to be strong for this little one.

This is what I owe you. Cheers.

Thanks for everything... you've been great.

What?

She's got a baby, come on.

Ava!

When a missing person turns out to be deceased, er... we, um... it's our policy to give the money back.

Oh!

Right.

You're gonna need every penny you can get when this little munchkin comes along.

Well, actually, I'm doing alright.

Lorenzo's life insurance came through.

Eighty thousand. Oh, good.

He must have set it up before his bet with Ms King.

So he knew that even if he didn't win... you'd all be alright.

Thanks very much.

She's gonna need every penny she can get, huh?

It's your good deed for the day.

Gone but not forgotten.

Isn't it dreadful?

Dreadful he put so much dog food in his pies.

I ate loads of 'em.

Hey.

Thank you.

Hey, I've had an idea.

We could make a fortune as a poker duo.

Are you being serious?

Well, with your card-counting skills and my ingenuity...

Not a chance.

To make some serious dosh, you have to take risks.

Or, as the Bard said... "Nothing will come of nothing."