Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre (2015) Script

Perfect.

They ought to be happy with that one.

Two more to come.

Let's wait for 'em.

Was that thunder?

Sure hope so.

We could use some rain around here.

I don't know, sounded more like an explosion to me.

Come on, ladies. You know the drill.

Do we ever, Screw.

♪♪


It's Miller time.

Beer?

It's only 11:00.

We've been at this since, what, 7:00 A.M.?

Yeah.

Four hours under the broiling sun, ain't a real man deserve a brewski?

Guess so.

I know so. So where, then?

Archway? Forget it.

The beer's always lukewarm over there.

That's true. I'm thinking Tommy's.

But that's ten miles out of our way.

Not if we cut across the stream over here.

I know a shortcut that will get us there in half the time.

You think you can make it through that?

It's a bog out there. It's not that deep.

I have a four-wheel drive.

So fine. It's not my ride.

Go for it.

Hold on then.

♪♪

You're not gonna make it, Sam. It's too deep.

Oh, yeah? Watch this.

♪♪

Ah, yeah. I'm watching. I'm watching.

♪♪ Fred, I have it under control.

Hey... what's that?

♪♪


See anything?

Not yet.

I doubt we will.

Racket from that motor gives 'em plenty of time to lay low.

You want me to turn back? Give it a few more minutes.

You got it, boss.

There. You see it?

No, can't say that I do.

Lake to the right. Water's all muddy.

That could be where they went ashore.

Head over there.

Will do.

And kill the motor.

How am I supposed to... Stroke.

Really?

Worked for the Indians, didn't it?

Whatever you say, chief.

Somebody's been here lately. Grass and vines all trampled.

Eh, you think it was them?

Maybe. Maybe not.

You know, that's what I love about you, boss.

You're very noncommittal.

Men are noncammittal, Adam.

Women are... well, let's just say we're mysterious.

All right. All right, I'll remember that.

You do that, you'll make Detective First Grade in no time at all.

All right, so now what?

Look for clues, silly.

You go right. I'll go left.

And? And watch your butt.

If those guys are still around here, they're armed and dangerous.

You don't think those guys are gonna stick around here, do you, with all that money on 'em?

No telling what they'll do.

My last partner got complacent, did a year in rehab.

All right, well, if I find anything, I'll come get you. You do that.

♪♪


Whoa. Whoa.

Kid, you almost got yourself shot.

Come on. There's something you gotta get a look at.

What is it?

Best you see it for yourself.

This better be good.

Woman: What the hell happened here?

Got me. I mean, looks like somebody was torn apart.

Gator, maybe?

No. I grew up in these parts.

I ain't ever seen a gator do anything like that.

What, then?

Shark. Sh-sh-shark.

Sh-sh-sh-shark.

Uh...

I'm gonna go call this in. You do that.

Sh-sh-sh-shark. Shark.

Relax, rookie.

This is a slack assignment.

The only thing you gotta worry about is the heat.

Yeah, a walk in the park.

Get out your paperwork. We're almost there.

♪♪


All right, ladies, we all know who you are.

The rules state we gotta take roll, so when Mike calls your name, give me a "yeah," a "yo," or a "yum"

Sarah Mason. Yo.

♪♪

Michelle Akila. Here.

♪♪ Shannon Hastings. I'm here.

♪♪ Samantha Pines. Right here as usual.

♪♪ Last but not least, Anita Gunners.

Yuppers.

♪♪ They're all present and accounted for, sir.

I told you this was a piece of cake.

All right, ladies, I know it's hot and it's sticky and you'd rather be anywhere else, but the warden wants these stumps cleared by the end of the day.

Understood?

I think we get it. Yeah, you want us to lay out, relax, and catch some rays.

See, ladies, a tan'll look mighty nice at the lesbian softball invitationals next month.

Okay, joke time's over.

Let's get these stumps cleared by sundown.

Water in the cooler, and finger sandwiches will be served promptly at 1:00.

Here's one without the bread.

And listen, if any of you are thinking about pulling a Richard Kimble, don't.

The nearest 7-Eleven is 50 miles away.

It's not gonna be worth that Slurpee.

Oh, damn.

I would kill for those cola Slurpees just about now.

I'm afraid killing's the only option you've got.

Don't tempt me.

Whatever. Ladies.

Shovels are in the rear.

Let's get it in motion. Come on.

Whatever. I hate him.

I hate slave labor.

♪♪


Hey, Mike, you think it'll be all right if I took a moment alone over by the stream?

You know the rules, Pines.

If I break 'em for you, gotta break 'em for everybody else.

But... But what?

Look.

Ah, jeez.

What happened? I cut my arm on a beer bottle some jerk litterbug tossed here ages ago.

Come on. Let me at least clean it out.

Can't you wash it right here?

No. It's muddy and disgusting.

Come on, honey.

I'll make it worth your while back at holding tonight.

All right, two minutes.

Two minutes and counting, baby.

♪♪


You gotta be kidding me.

Day's almost over, Mike.

One more hour, and we can take 'em home.

Roger that, Carl.

Hey, where's Sammy?

Last I saw her, she cut her arm with some glass.

Yeah, it looked pretty bad.

I thought she came back here to the van for some first aid.

Like they'd have anything more than a 10-year-old Band-Aid.

So, where is she? Beats me.

Maybe she took an unscheduled vacation.

Get my drift?

That wouldn't be wise.

Where's Pines? She cut her arm.

I sent her to you to get it fixed.

Well, she never showed. You better go find her.

Ladies, question.

Where's Pines?

All right, look, if you know something, anything, it'd be better if you tell me now before it goes any further.

Understood?

Okay, three words, guilt by association.

You know what the warden's like.

This will not go good for any of us if Pines somehow gets away.

Just a guess, she was jonesing for a swim in that stream over there all afternoon.

Maybe she went skinny-dipping.

Mike, she may be down by the stream.

Go check it out. But...

No "but," all right? Just check it out now.

Right.

Let's just hope this is one big misunderstanding.

Hey, Carl, get down to the stream quick.

All right, ladies, let's go see what Mike has found.

After you, sir.

On the contrary, Ms. Gunners, after you.

Arkansas manners still apply here.

Is that...

Yeah, it's hers.

So, what'd she do, strip down and escape in her undies?

Not if some accomplice was waiting with a new wardrobe for her.

That's not possible.

One of us would have known.

Yeah.

Tough keeping secrets in stir, especially an escape.

How would someone from the outside have known we were gonna pull over right here?

I didn't even know where we were gonna stop till we got here.

Nevertheless, she's gone.

I gotta call this in immediately.

Mike, take 'em back to the van.

Keep 'em rounded up close.

Yes, sir, boss.

You heard the man, ladies. Let's get moving.

Michelle, you're bleeding, girl.

What? Your arm is covered in blood. How'd you get cut?

It's not me bleeding, hitches.

It's this tree. It's covered in blood.

That's right, sir. She just up and disappeared.

Seems weird.

Her sentence was up the end of next month.

That's right, Warden.

Chopper's in the air before we left the site.

I'm sure we'll find her.

Warden, I...

Sir, are you there?

Sir?

Damn cell towers ain't worth a damn.

Yeah, I lost my bars about ten miles back.

Stop, and see if we can help.

That's against regulations.

Clearly states that you're not...

Give it a rest, will you?

Stop the van.

Do you need a doctor?

Our cell phones are down, but we can take you to the nearest hospital.

Y'all might need some looking after yourself, kind sirs.

You, we can do this one of two ways, slow and easy or just plain dead.

Your choice.

Easy.

We do it easy. Just keep your cool.

We'll cooperate. Good.

Hand over your guns. Slowly.

Good buy.

Now, it's time for all of us ladies to mosey on out of here. Now, hold on there.

You got something to say, cowboy?

No, nothing. Nothing at all.

I didn't think so.

Now, open up the side door, and let 'em all go.

Whoa there, dude. Easy, lady.

I'll do it from my side. Good idea.

So long, suckers.

Baby, you just rock my world.

Hmm.

This is seriously messed up.

It's the last thing I need.

Look, just stick close to me. You'll be fine.

To be continued, sweetheart.

We're in the middle of a felony here.

Try that again, cop, and you'll be playing pocket pool with no balls.

Yeah, creep. My girl here means what she says.

All right, listen.

Nobody wants to he a hero here, right, Mike?

Right, sir. All right, let's just stay calm, and we'll all get along.

I don't know about these two prom queens.

I'm in.

What do I do?

Well, for now, until they decide to join us, cover 'em.

You two screws back in the back with the regular folk.

Now.

Earth to Adam. Come in, Adam.

Over.

Ah. I'm sorry.

What you thinking 'bout?

How impressed you are with my detective skills?

Nah, not exactly, no. 1..

Just thinking about that scene back there, you know?

I... I don't really know if I'm cut out for this kind of work.

Hey, I felt the same way when I first started.

No joke.

You just gotta do what I do. What's that?

Whenever you want a break from the job, just crank up the tunes.

This? This is what you do to unwind?

This is what you like to listen to?

What's that supposed to mean?

What do you like listening to, that techno music, some disco?

Terrible.

Reporter: So, be on the lookout for these four female escapees and their driver.

Once again, these women escaped from custody earlier today and should be considered armed and extremely dangerous.

If you encounter them, call your local law enforce...

So much for getting your mind off it.

Looks like our laundry list just got longer.

♪♪

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to welcome you nice people on this nonstop service from the big house to freedom.

We'll be going at the speed of whatever Captain Honey here damn well pleases, so at this time, I'd like to invite you to fasten your seat belts and make sure your tray tables and seat backs are in their full upright position.

Lastly, if anyone decides to get cute or do anything stupid, I will gladly blow your heads off.

They got some surveillance cameras a couple miles up where Route 40 crosses.

Maybe we can attract some attention.

Do what, dance? Tell jokes?

Now what?

So much for our act for the cameras.

So, where the hell is she going?

Who the hell knows?

Excuse me. Excuse me.

This is my stop.

Just hold your water, babe.

It'll be everyone's stop in just about two minutes.


Okay, baby, get everybody out.

Out, out. Everybody out.

Move, move.

Move it. Get over there.

Get over there. Move.

What now?

What's wrong with you, princess?

I'll tell you what's wrong.

I got six months left, and you just tacked on ten easy.

Give it a rest, dragon lady.

What do you got waiting for you when you get out, anyway?

My boy.

Got a little boy.

Okay, ladies, strip.

Get rid of what you're wearing.

Even me? Yeah, sweetheart, even you.

Here. Put this on.

You ain't got nothing we haven't seen, girl.

Do it. You first.

Hey, if you feeling froggy, you might as well jump.

Come on, soy sauce, make your move.

I told you.

I'm gonna rip your eyes out.

You don't...

You know what?

Get your hands off me.

Enough. How you like that, huh?

♪♪ Off me. Get off me.

Honey, he's getting away.

Oh, no, he's not. Cover the old fart.

Got it. Keep your hands off my head.

I ain't going anywhere.

Damn you.

I think your boy just bought it.


You didn't think you could outrun old Honey, now, did you?

Crap on a cracker.


Where are they?

I got 'em waiting in the other van.

Did you get him? I got him.

I just hope you don't have any of the same stupid ideas your friend had.

No, not at all.

Good.

Let's get the hell out of here.

Water.

Water.

Water.

Thank God.


Ah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.


I hope this baby has four-wheel drive.

Why is that, Screw?

This is the old road to Wrightson Swamp, gets pretty mucky the further you get in.

We'll just see about that.

Honey, did you hear what he just said?

What's that?

That we're headed into the swamp.

Yeah, I heard that from the guy who rented me the place.

What place? You'll see.

It's only a few more miles.

Sure as hell hope this place of yours has indoor plumbing.

As a matter of fact, the old man said it was pretty well-equipped.

What old man? Don't worry, baby.

He won't be talking to anyone.

How's that?

Let's just say I pushed him into early retirement.

Aha.

Hell, it's even nicer than I expected.

It's even got a hot tub.

Excuse me, but what the hell are we doing here?

You know, for someone enjoying a little taste of freedom, you sure got a hell of a mouth on you, girl.

So I've been told, but answer the question.

Just chill. Chill.

We're gonna settle in here and just wait. Wait for what?

Cops? Bloodhounds? Choppers?

Et cetera, et cetera? Yeah, yeah.

Something like that.

Nah, this is gonna he our little home away from home.

Ladies, pardon your delusion, but this is the first door they're gonna come knocking on.

Trust me. She's right.

This is absolute B.S.

All you crazy bitches are gonna do is get more time for us or worse yet, get us killed.

I want out, now.

You ain't going nowhere, bitch.

I'd think twice about doing that again, sweetie.

Next time, I might get mad.

Soy sauce.

You are here, and you are going to stay here with the rest of us until I say different, understand?

Yeah, I get it, but I don't gotta like it.

That's all I'm asking for, really.

You got anything else to say, sweetness?

Yeah, one thing. And what's that?

Don't go to sleep.

All right, everybody get in the house.

Make sure the man here is tied up good.

He's our insurance policy.

You got it, baby.

And by the way, thanks for earlier.

Don't mention it.

You, out.

Boss.

Here you go. It's still hot, I think.

Thanks, kid.

Yeah, might be a little watered down, though.

I couldn't find a lid. Cop coffee.

It's supposed to be watered down.

I think it's in the bylaws. Right.

Did you hear anything from the hospital about the call today? Yeah.

I talked to the doctor.

He says the guy's still in shock.

He keeps raving about his buddy being eaten by a shark.

Well, after what we saw, I kind of half believe him.

Yeah, right. What about you? You find anything?

What is that, evidence?

No, but don't you just love it?

It's a vintage Coca-Cola bottle, solid glass, not like this plastic and cans we have today.

It must have been lying around here for 80 years.

Now, mind you, it needs a little work, but once it's polished up, it's gonna look great in my minibar.

I meant about the case. I know what you meant.

Take a look around.

It's pretty obvious this is where they changed vehicles.

Yeah, but what make and model?

I don't know. Something big.

The warden said one prisoner escaped.

That still leaves six more passengers to cart around.

True. Let's get on the horn to all the rental car companies within a 50-mile radius, see what they've got on the road that meets our criteria.

I don't know.

I think most of those places are gonna be closed now, don't you think?

Let's go wake 'em up.

All right.

Now stay put, and you might just make it through the night.

Yeah, like that's gonna happen.

Your girlfriend'll put a slug in me the moment I'm no use to you.

That's not true. Yeah?

Then who made Samantha disappear?

It was her, right?

She knocked off Pines to put us on the road before nightfall, right?

You're crazy. She's not like that.

Yeah. Tell that to Mike.

Just shut up, or I'll kill you myself.

So, what now?

I've been in stir for five years.

I'm gonna go slip into something more comfortable.

I hate the rain.

Really? I kind of like it.

Sounds like a... like an atmosphere or something.

So better than the cell block, isn't it?

It's the same thing. We're trapped here.

Prison's a prison.

Suit yourself, but I'm gonna make the best of it.

Well, I know how you could start.

How 'bout a hot bath before we go to bed?

Now, that sounds like a good idea.

I haven't had one of those in so long.

Where is it?

Second bathroom down the hall.

I turned it on the minute we got here.

Should be coming to a boil just about now.

Sounds good. I'm game.

How 'bout you, Sarah?

No, you guys go ahead.

I'll meet you in a few minutes.

Suit yourself.


Anything good?

Yeah, actually.

I just found this first-edition copy of Charles Dickens' "A Tale of Two Cities."

Yeah, so?

You've heard of it, right?

You actually read books?

In prison, there ain't nothing better to do.

Let me see that.

"It was the best of times. It was the worst of times."

Honey, I don't want nothing but good times from here on in.

I know, hut...

I've had enough of the bad times.

I know, baby. I know.

Where the hell is she, for God's sake?

Relax. Enjoy her not being here.

Sharon, you know we have to get out of here more sooner than later, right?

- You think it's gonna get bad? Girl, I've been smelling bad crap all my life, and this is the limburger of bad.

I know what you mean.

Yeah, you do.

Someone does something stupid, a gun goes off, and we're all accessories to murder.

I got a kid back home. I can't go back to the joint.

I know.

- Hey, guys. What'd I miss? Not a thing, girl.

Michelle and I were just talking about our recent benefactors.

Yeah, they are kind of harsh.

Harsh? Heh. Nice word. Love it.

They did get us out.

Get us out to where, some "Friday the 13th" cabin in the woods?

Yeah, this is not my idea of getting us out.

Look, tomorrow they'll most likely go their separate ways.

Then you'll have the option to either give up or take off running.

You're forgetting the third option.

Yeah, what's that?

They shoot us all to keep us from talking.

Bad option, very bad.

You think they'd go that far?

"Do you think they'd go that far?"

Do you remember what they just did to Mike a couple hours ago?

Yeah. You got a point there, girl.

Yeah, I most certainly do.


Yes.

If you don't mind, I could really use a bathroom break.

You, untie him, and watch him unload.

What'd you say to me?

"Untie him..."

No, I heard what you said first.

What came after that?

Egg roll, either you watch him poop, or you watch him poop his pants.

Your choice.

If it's any consolation, it's not a lat of fun for me either.

Yeah, it better not be. I'll tell you that.

This may take a while. I have prostate issues.

Lord, what did I do to deserve this?


Help. Oh, my God.

Yes, sir, we're looking into it right now.

Yes, he is.

I'll let you know as soon as I hear something.

Of course. Okay.

Give it to me, Chin. What you got?

Chin?

Obscure reference. Never mind.

What'd he say?

Well, turns out you were right.

The guy inside says he rented a minivan to a lady using a stolen credit card yesterday morning.

And they decided to keep it secret till this morning?

Well, the card only got flagged late last night after the place had already closed, so...

Let me guess. White minivan.

Yeah. How'd you know?

It's the most popular color in rental car fleets, followed by black, off-white, and beige.

You're good, boss.

You're real good. That's what they tell me.

Listen, now we actually caught a lucky break.

There's two blue stripes running down the side of it.

Excellent. You get the plate?

Already up on the comm lines.

And by any chance, is there LoJack on any of these vehicles?

I don't think so.

Mm. How 'bout a description of the woman?

Well, the guy inside said she was a real looker, had red hair.

Hmm. That's helpful. You pull the videotape?

Nothing. What do you mean, "nothing"?

Well, they have two video cameras, but both of them are fake.

Well, that'll teach 'em.

Yeah. So, where to new?

I'm hungry. Lunch.

Good idea.

Here we are.

Peaches and beans, my specialty.

Breakfast is served. Oh, no, I'm good.

I just got a heaping helping of Carl's peaches and beans, and I'm done.

Sorry. Yeah, I bet you are, Spungebob Brownpants.

Tie him up again.

He's an old man. He's not going anywhere.

Just let him sit here.

I said tie him up.

Why don't you tie him up?

I'm gonna go have a cigarette.

Hey, hey. Just wait a hot second here.

I'm tired of waiting.

So, can I interest anyone?

Sarah.

Everybody.

Oh, no. Sarah. What's going on?

Something's happened to her. Come on. Hurry.

What happened?

I don't know, but she's dead.

Looks like she fell into a wood chipper.

Come on. We better go take a look around.

That is so not a good idea right now.

But we're doing it anyway.

Even him? Him most of all.

Come on.

Okay, move it.

♪♪ Here. Over here.

Oh, my God.

That was no wood chipper.

This is a tooth.

Not just a tooth. That's a shark tooth... like this.

But then what happened to her?

Yeah, there ain't no sharks in these woods.

Yeah, not that we know of.

How do you know there ain't one swimming in that stream over there?

Last time I saws "Jaws," they were limited to salt water.

Plus, when she crawled in, she was bone-dry.

Those ruts over there, they were made recently.

Whatever killed Sarah made them.

What kind of creature does that?

Honey, have you got an idea?

Not a clue, but we got a body to bury, ladies.

You want to tell me how she ended up here with this sticking out of her leg?

I don't know.

Maybe it was just laying on the ground for some strange reason.

Yeah, it could be a fossil or something.

It's a shark's tooth.

It's some kind of mutation, a monster.

Oh, it's a monster, all right.

Hold it right there, buddy.

Whoa, nice to meet you, too. Put that away.

Or don't.

What the hell are you two doing here?

Ah, we're waiting on the next bus out of the swamp.

Why? What happened to your ride?

It was eaten. Eaten?

Eaten by a monstrous prehistoric shark.

Oh, my God. We gotta get out of here.

Sorry, ladies, but our van is staying put right here, and so are you.

You two, come along.

You got this? Yeah.

They're kidnapping us.

I know, but look at that rack.

What were you two really doing out there?

Hold on. I got a question for you first.

Do you know of anyone doing any blasting or drilling in the area?

We're not from around here. Don't know.

All right, look, I'm a geologist.

John here is my assistant.

We're here to monitor vibrations.

What kind of vibrations?

What, like good vibrations, like the song?

Bad vibrations, actually.

Yeah, about two weeks ago, Delgado Petroleum started fracking some old wells in the area.

What the hell's farking?

Fracking. It's short for hydraulic fracturing, and it seems like Delgado may have gone too far and completely shattered the subterranean shale bed.

Mister, all I just heard was blah-blah- blah.

Now, you start making sense before my trigger finger gets itchy.

Hold on a second. Look, in 2007, scientists discovered an ocean lying 1,400 kilometers below eastern Asia about the size of Texas.

Now, if I was a betting man, and I am, I would say the good old U.S. of A.

Has an underground ocean of its own.

What the hell does that have to do with what happened to Sarah and your van?

Oceans are teeming with life, including predators like sharks.

Now, my fear is that Delgado may have inadvertently opened a superhighway between the Earth's surface and one of these vast underground waterways.

And while Delgado's greasing palms in Little Rock and Washington, we might be facing a prehistoric monster we haven't seen in about 40 million years.

A sharkasaurus 13 to 20 feet long, and a natural-born killing machine, both in water and on land.

On land?

And believe me when I say this is definitely not a fossil.

Crap on a cracker. Everybody listen up.

We are getting the hell out of here right now.

Hallelujah. But how?

That creature may be out there waiting for us.

We'll figure a way. Pack your stuff.

Shannon: You think we can make it?

Who can tell?

I say we risk it.

It's only 100 sweet yards to that van.

Then by all means, chopstick, lead the way.

Here's the keys. We're right behind you.


Well, what's the matter, Tokyo Rose?

Thought you were willing to risk it.

I'm thinking. I'm thinking.

Give me those. I'll do it myself.

Hey, get back here!

Come on!

Get back here.

Get, come on, come on.

Anita: Hurry! Come inside!

Come on, come on.

Anita: What is he doing?

Oh! what's going on?

What are the... Oh!

Just... Just go.

Oh, my God.

This is crazed.

Okay, does someone have just a cell phone, a AAA card?

So, what do we do now, professor?

Well, first, stop waving those guns.

I don't know. I need to think for a minute.

Oh, come on.

Pretty hyped-up group.

Yeah, they got good reason.

I don't think we've been properly introduced.

I'm John.

Shannon. Pleased to meet you.

50, what do you do when you're not fleeing prehistoric monsters?

Five to ten.

♪♪

I'll take this when you guys are ready.

Yours from Wilson, too? Yeah.

Read it to me, will you?

Left my glasses in the car.

What?

Nothing. I just thought I saw something.

Um... says the choppers may have spotted a van parked nut near Wrightson Swamp.

So, did they land and check it out?

Negative. Wilson says the area was too heavily wooded to put the choppers down.

Pack up your chalupas.

Let's blow this taco stand.

Did you pay?

It's your turn.

It's always my turn.

What's cooking?

Just more peaches and beans.

Hold the beans, please. Yeah, me, too.

My Lord.

God bless Ronald Reagan.

What is it?

Two words...

Merry Christmas.

Well, this ought to even the odds a little bit.

And there's a lot more in there.

You okay?

We're gonna get through this, you and me.

I'm tired.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

When you grow up the prettiest girl in Martin Springs, you think everything's gonna be a bed of roses.

Marry the captain of the football team and live happily ever after, but he turns out to be a raging psychotic who gets hooked on OxyContin.

Every night he heats you, and every morning, he begs your forgiveness.

You wake up wondering if this is the day he finally kills you, and then you do something about it.

I'm tired of being so scared all the damn time.

I'm tired of just getting by instead of living.


Excuse me, if I could just have a moment of your time.

What was that?

I don't know.

The man asked for a moment of your time.

Is that too much to ask?

All right, so if you don't mind giving my man Carl here your undivided attention, that would be great.

Go ahead, sir. To begin with, the kidnapping and prison escape is now officially over.

Sorry, folks. Better luck next time.

The business of getting out of here without getting eaten by whatever's outside has begun.

Where did you get those?

Well, the owner of this cabin is obviously a crackerjack survivalist, and we found enough guns here to start World War III.

So, if you're good and promise not to shoot each other in the head, my friend Carl will give you the weapon of your choice.

But should you choose to he a fool or a hothead, and I am talking to you and you, then my good friend Carl here will have to blow your heads clean off.

And I will do that. So, that's that.

Let's go into the kitchen and load up.

Well, it looks quiet enough.

Maybe it went away, just some dumb animal.

Smart enough to flatten our tires and maroon us here.

Let's see if this stirs the pot a little.

Must be gone.

Wrong, buddy.

Wrong in a big way, junior.

I got a had feeling about this.

All right, everyone hold your ears.

Fire in the hole.

It's just as I thought. There's more than one.

You gotta be kidding me. How many?

Six, seven, maybe a whole mess of 'em by now, I don't know.

All is I know is when they smelled blood, this place became the hometown Buffet.

We're never getting out here now.

Damn. "Damn" is right, girl.

You bitches hadn't done what you done, I'd be sitting in a warm cell right now waiting for my dinner like these sharks.

Carl: All right, enough of the blame game.

This is serious.

We're almost out of food, and we're next on the menu.

Hey, wait a minute.

Anyone notice if there's a well anywhere on this property?

No well, but I think I saw some sort of cave out back.

Cave, even better. Why's that?

All right, everyone, back porch right now.

He's right. Let's go. Hurry.

Come on. Come on. Hurry.

What would you say, fellas?

300 feet maybe.

I'd say more like 400.

What do you think, professor? Well, I asked for a well

'cause I was hoping we could climb down and reach the subterranean caverns that are known to crisscross this area, but a cave's even better.

It's sure to lead us downward.

But how do we all get over there safely?

And how do you know that shark's not gonna follow us into the cave?

First question, not exactly sure.

Second question, cave floors usually consist of solid stone, so sharks won't be able to burrow through.

Anita: Okay, I've got a great idea.

Why don't we just stay put right here till help comes?

Not a great idea, babe.

We don't want that kind of help.

Oh, yeah, sorry. I forgot.

There's an even better reason to leave soon.

Well, spit it out. Yeah, give, professor.

What's got you so spooked?

Well, every year, sharks swarm, sometimes 15,000 in an area less than two miles wide.

They define hunting territory, mate, devour everything in sight, then move on.

I'm concerned that what we've got in the front yard is just a scouting party waiting on a thousand of their dearest friends.

No, this doesn't sound good at all.

No, it doesn't. So, we gotta figure a way to get to that cave without becoming fish food.

Exactly.

And how the hell do we do that?

Professor, you said sharks gravitate toward human blood, right?

Like ants to honey, Honey.

So, let's just give 'em what they want.

What?

Got 'em.

I found this shirt.

Pants.

♪♪ These might work.

It's ready.

Come and get it.

Okay. Ready?

Let's do it.

Hey, guys, how's it looking over there?

Nothing in sight.

Let's hope it stays that way.

Who's the best shot?

Just don't miss. I don't intend to.

All right, everybody, let's get ready to rumble.

Okay, how do we know exactly when?

Oh, you'll know. Don't worry.

I'm not gonna let anything happen to you.

Stay frosty, everybody.

Here goes nothing.

Oh, my God. There are six of 'em.

I sure hope Dirty Harriet can shoot a gun as well as she shoots her mouth off.

Get ready.

Don't sweat it. I was born to do this.

Better.

Let's hope so for everybody's sake.

Right. Go, go, go.

Nice work.

Thank me later.

Quick.

Quick. Go.

Go, go.


Oh, my God. Come on, you guys.

Here comes one now. Hurry, hurry.

Get up, get up.

I think I sprained my ankle.

They're coming.

Guys, one of 'em now.

Hey, come on. Come on, come on, come on.

Sprain or no sprain, you gotta rise to the occasion.

Come on.

Let's go. Anita: Hurry.

Honey, they're coming.

Hurry. Honey: But it won't stop.

Won't stop. Bullets aren't working.

Just go. Save yourself. Go.

I've gotta help him. No, stay here.

You'll get killed. I'm going.

Michelle: Bad idea.

Guys, get hack.

Hey! Hey!

Look over here!

John, no. Get out of there.

No.

Come on, dollface, help me get him up.

What'd you call me?

God help me.

Come on, guys. Come on.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Wait. Wait. Come on, come on.

[crying ]

He gave his life.

I know.

John was a fine young man.

He left us much too soon.

I'll mourn him for the rest of my life, but I know he'd want us to push on, so just follow me, and let's just get the hell out of here.

You know, if we go by the G.P.S. we got from Wilson, we're just about a mile away from the coordinates.

Is that so?

Yeah, but don't you think we should call him, let him know we're going in without backup?

No. Why not?

'Cause the minute we call it in, every black-and-white from here to Fort Smith is gonna come blazing through these gullies like they're gunning for Bonnie and Clyde.

Who? What?

Who are Bonnie and Clyde?

How old are you? 29.

And you've never heard of Bonnie and Clyde?

No. How 'bout Ma Barker?

From "The Price is Right." Oh, for the love of...

Hey, look. White van, blue stripes.

Oh, yeah. I see it.

Where you going?

I don't know. Just anxious, I guess.

Well, relax.

If they're in there, we have to wait for them to make the first move.

If we wait for them... I said get your ass back in here.

Sorry.

Give me the binoc.

Here.

See anything?

Well, we got a plate match.

Then we got 'em.

Not yet.

Huh. What?

They got four flat tires, and there's something weird laying in the front yard.

Here. Take a look. Tell me what you think it is.

Adam: That is strange.

It looks like a piece of a dummy all ripped up.

That's exactly what I thought.

So, how do you want to play this?

Like always.

Did you see that? What is that thing?

Let's get out of here.

Wow.

This place is huge. Cavernous.

♪♪

You sure there's another way out of here, Doc?

It does, and I'd imagine we just need to find one with easy access to the surface.

So, once we're up top, what next, girl?

Quiet. No.

Quiet time's over.

These people have worked way too hard and lost too much to have it end badly once you and Blondie here take off to parts unknown.

Listen, bitch, I'm the one who came up with the escape plan.

I'm the one who rescued us from those sharks.

Now, don't make me shoot you out of lack of respect.

Excuse me.

The only one allowed to shoot anybody anymore is me.

And how do you figure that, cop?

Because you're out of bullets.

You blew your last round shooting at the sharks.

Okay, you need to give her her weapon back right now, along with whatever leftover ammo you might have.

Do you really think I'd give a psychotic like you live ammo?

What? I was defenseless hack there.

No, you weren't.

You had me, John, Michelle, the professor.

You don't have any faith in me either?

Sweetie, I know your backstory.

There's no way you'd ever raise your gun to shoot at anything.

What the hell was that?

It's those creatures.

They're speaking to each other like whales.

Crap on a cracker. For once, professor, I agree with Honey's assessment.

I say the sooner we get out of here, the better off we'll be. Speak for yourself.

Yeah, Screw.

There's a breeze coming from this direction.

Good possibility there's an opening somewhere up ahead.

All right. You heard the man, ladies.

Let's move.

You know what, boss? What?

You're okay. Thanks for the trust.

You're welcome.

Don't make me regret it.

Thank you.

♪♪


So, doc, why so bright down here?

Yeah, it looks like the walls are lit from behind.

Professor: It's the phosphorous from the limestone.

It creates its awn type of cold light.

Michelle: Learn something new every day, huh?

Sounds like water running.

There's a good chance.

Guess we're not the first ones here, huh?

Carl: No, I read they were mining for minerals about a decade ago, but they didn't find anything worthwhile.

So, they just left their stuff there and lit off?

Guess so.

I don't blame 'em one bit.

Is that water, professor?

I think that's an underground river.

That could lead us to the surface. Let's go.

Hey, come here, all of you.

Is that daylight?

It sure is. Maybe we're saved.

That's most definitely a way out.

Only... Only what?

Only to get to it, we're all gonna have to wade through about 100 yards of water waist-deep, maybe higher.

You're thinking some of our friends are just below the surface lying in wait?

It's a distinct possibility.

Well, I don't see any fins.

Oh, it doesn't matter.

We could get ten feet out, and they'd be on us before we knew what hit us.

What can we do?

Well, we got a couple options.

We can go back the way we came and choose another path...

No, no, no, no, no, no. Miss me with that crap.

That ain't happening.

Oh, I actually agree with you.

Plus there's no guarantee we'd find another exit.

Or we may find more water we can't get through.

Precisely. What's our other option?

Send one of us through to test the waters, if you get my drift.

Oh, I get it, all right.

One of us goes through, and if he or she doesn't get eaten, we send the rest of 'em through, right?

I didn't say it was a great option.

Well, I, for one, am not down for a fun game of sharkasaurus roulette.

Look, the water may ultimately recede, but not necessarily on our timeline.

Okay, so what you're saying is we'll run out of, like, food and air?

Air, we got. We got plenty of water.

Food, I got a protein bar and a pack of Twinkies.

Yeah, I'm in the same boat.

All I've got left is half a pack of Tic Tacs.

Wait a minute.

Michelle, you may be on to something.

What? Tic Tacs?

Yeah, I don't think sharks eat Tic Tacs.

No, you said, "Boat."

We got a raft. Oh, shoot. That's right.

Well, let's go get it.

Easy now. You two stay here.

You monitor the water.

You see a ripple, vibration, anything, you take note.

Aren't you afraid we'll try to escape?

Nope, not at all.

You still see it? No, I think it's gone.

Jeez, what was that thing?

I don't know, but if I didn't know better, I'd think we just had an encounter with a land shark.

A land shark?

I mean, what, you mean like from "Saturday Night Live"?

Oh, that, you remember?

So, that guy was right. It is a shark.

Oh, we gotta warn somebody.

What are we gonna say? Who's gonna believe us?

I mean, they're gonna think we skipped the donuts and went right for the hard stuff.

Yeah, but I mean, it was real. We saw it. We felt it.

Yeah, and if we did, I'm sure the escaped convicts did as well.

Wait. You mean...

I think that that thing, it took away their only means of escape, and it trapped them in the hideout.

50, that ripped-up dummy that we saw, what was that, some sort of a decoy?

I'd stake my pension on it.

What do you think? Are they still trapped inside?

Hard to tell.

Pull up the geological schematics on that fancy gadget of yours.

You mean the iPad? Whatever.

See if there's anyplace they could have escaped to given the chance.

Come on. All right, all right.

According to this, there is a cave entrance about 200 yards from the back of the cabin.

That's it, then.

What's it?

They threw the dummy to the wolf, and they made a run for it.

Well, assuming they made it, where do you think they went?

If it were me, I'd use that cave to get the heck out of there as quick as I could.

I mean, not only do they have us hunting them, they've got that creature hunting them, too.

Where did they come from?

I think Hell'd be a good place to start.

Se?

Well, it looks sound enough, provided those things don't slice it in half.

Distinct possibility, my friend.

Distinct possibility.

Yeah, and we have oars, so I don't have to stick my hands in the water.

Yeah, I wouldn't suggest doing that.

Yeah, why make yourself an appetizer?

Look, I found some rope, lots of it.

Good girl, Michelle. Bring it all.

It'll make things a hell of a lot easier.

Sounds good to me.

You ready to see daylight again, professor?

Oh, I'm looking forward to it.

Oh, my God. Did you just hear that?

Yeah. Do you think that maybe...

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know.

Honey, we are officially in the sauce.

Take it easy, baby.

If we have to go this alone, we will.

Yeah, but how are we gonna... Put a hold on the play.

I still got a good feeling about this.

He may be a relic, but that old guard has what it takes.

I hope you're right.

Come on, Sham.

You can't afford to go to pieces right now.

We've come too far.

Just leave me. I don't care. I don't care.

Look at me, little girl.

I know you didn't ask for this, but we're here.

Now, we gotta make the best of it.

And that young man who put his life on the line for you, he wouldn't want you to give up, and neither do I.

That goes ditto for me, girl.

So, dry those eyes, and let's get topside, okay?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's okay. It's okay. Don't worry.

Now, listen, we get out of here in one piece, I'll have a nice, long talk with the warden about your case, okay?

Michelle: Hey, what about me?

No love for your lotus blossom?

You, too, Michelle.

You, too.

Anita: There hasn't been a ripple.

Maybe we should just risk it.

Personally, I'd rather wait for the raft.

Yeah, the raft that may or may not be coming.

Hey, you two.

Honey: Praise the Lord.

I thought you were never coming back.

Where's the professor?

He didn't make it.

We heard gunshots. What happened?

Let's just leave it at, "He didn't make it."

Okay, well, how are we gonna get this party started?

Okay, listen, I'll go first, all right?

If I get across safely, tie a rope to both ends of the boat, pull you all across.

In this thing?

Good idea.

Michelle, help me with the ropes.

Done.

All right, make a left at the mile marker.

You sure? Yeah, I'm sure.

According to the geological survey map, there's an entrance to the cave about a half a mile west of here.

Okeydokey.

Just watch out for any more of those land sharks.

You had to remind me. How could you forget?

Now, if something goes wrong, I'm counting on you.

Pull me back with all you got.

We've got your back, sir.

Good luck.


He made it. That, he did.

See, I told you he had the guts.

Okay, pull the boat back.

Come across two by two.

Will do.

Honey: Come on, pull.

All right, ladies. See you on the other side.

Gut it?

Oh, what is that?

I don't know. Let's just keep on rowing.

Oh, my God. No, no, no. Don't worry.

Oh, my God. Don't get scared.

No, let's go. We can do this.


Okay, I got it.

I see him.

There he is. Go, go, go.

I'm going.

Oh, my God.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

We're almost there. We made it. We made it.

We got it. Give me your hand.

Here we go.

All right, pull it back.

All right, baby, time to get the hell out.

I'm right behind you.

Come on. come on.

Come on. We gut this.


Whoa.

Whoa. Watch out.

Shannon.

Anita.


Let's get the hell out of here.

Give me your hand.


Suppose you'll be wanting this back now.

You know, I been thinking... it's too bad everyone but me had to die down there.

Only Shannon's body to recover, the rest devoured by those creatures.

It's gonna make recovery and identification damn near impossible.

The girl I feel most sorry for is the one with a kid waiting for her.

Child needs a mom to grow up well.

So, I'm gonna turn around now and start looking for help.

If I see one of those damn land sharks, I'm gonna look that son of a bitch right in the eye and tell him to bugger off.

Hell.

I fought with Michelle Alika.

Thank you.


You all right, buddy?

The prisoners?

I'm the only one.

Do you know what we're up against?

Yep.

Crap on a cracker.

♪♪