Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (2015) Script

[ chainsaw buzzing ]

[ buzzing fades ]


[ tires skid ]

Mr. Shepard, the President needs you right now!

I didn't think I was gonna make it.

We'll get you there.

I'm Agent Devoreaux, office of the President.

FIN: There's a storm coming. I can feel it.

Package is en route.

[radio] The National Weather Service has issued a significant weather advisory for the mid-Atlantic region of the east coast.

April, my car died.

I'm with the Secret Service now. It's not looking good.

I'm almost there, Fin.

Please be safe. Do you hear me?

I know. I love you.

Can you radio ahead? Right. Copy.

We'll pick up our escort up ahead.

Hang on, Mr. Shepard!

[ sirens blaring ]

[ radio ] All units, alert. Heavy traffic congestion reported in the vicinity of the Key Bridge.

Proceed to alternate route.

[ crowd clamoring ]

This is Agent Devoreaux inbound with the package.

I need First Street Southeast cleared now!

What do you think you're doing?

Semper Paratus.

You must repent!

The end is near! Repent!

Repent! No!

I was inside the belly of the beast!

Whoa!

Oh, I gotta get in there!

You need to go! Back away!

Whoa, whoa! Whoa! No, no!

I'm just taking my license.

I'm Fin Shepard!

Fin Shepard!

Tim! Reese! Let him in.

Sorry, sir.

Mr. Shepard, I'm Gary Martin Hayes, Chief of Staff.

I am so sorry about that.

Thank God you made it.

Colonel Shepard make it in yet?

I'm sorry. There's been no word on the Colonel.

How soon can you get in touch with National Weather Service?

Soon, but the President's started.

I gotta get you in there right now.

Here. Time to clean up.

Come on, Mom. Let's go.

Careful. Slow down.

You got a little one in there.

I've done this many times before. Heh.

Well, you had two hands then.

Really? Are you gonna go there?

I'm just saying it's okay to ask for a little help.

Besides, your husband should be here.

And where is he?

Oh, he's probably trying to get eaten by another shark.

[ radio ] The National Weather Service is now reporting that a massive tropical storm is headed directly for Washington, D.C.

The NASA Weather Satellite Center is tracking the tropical depression and recommends residents make arrangements to evacuate if necessary.

[ crowd applauds ]

Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.

Ladies and gentlemen, for his heroic actions in both New York and Los Angeles, for saving countless lives and alerting the world to a new, terrifying threat, it is my great honor to present the country's highest civilian commendation, the Presidential Medal of Freedom, to Finlay Allen Shepard.

[ applause ]

What's your opinion of these shark storms, Madam Vice President?

I feel for the sharks, but they're wrecking our schools, our hospitals, our roads...

It's heavier than I thought it would be.

[ laughs ] Oh, Ms. Alves from the "Times."

One question, okay? Yeah. Hey, so now that you've been awarded the biggest award in all of the country, Mr. Shepard, where do you go from here?

Home.

Okay. Thank you so much.

Uh, Mr. Benchley from the "Post."

Mr. Benchley. Fin!

Oh, Martin. How you doing?

Ellen and the kids?

She's good. She's good. She says hi, and she wanted to be here, but it's kind of hard for her to get on a plane now. You know what I'm saying?

Madam Vice President, this is my brother-in-law Martin.

I'm the good-looking one.

Yeah. Now you know how I feel.

I like her.

Mr. Shepard, follow me, please?

Say, "Sharknado"!

Sharknado. Cool.

You don't mind if I post this, do you?

No. Cool.

Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.

Fin, I got a surprise for you, buddy...

[ applause ] the Mayor of New York City.

It's good to see you again, Fin.

Hello, sir.

By way of a thank-you from the people of the city of New York, we want to present you with this!

You are the very first member of the Order of the Golden Chainsaw!

Go ahead. Try it.

[ chainsaw buzzes ]

You know, there's just so many questions I wanna ask you, and there's...

FIN: Martin. Sidekick to the rescue.

Go ahead. Get out of here. Excuse me.

Ladies and gentlemen, I was in New York, too.

I'm Fin's brother-in-law...

The documents you asked for.

N.W.S.? Yes.

Thank you.

Oh, Fin, hi. I'm Jackie Collins.

And, um, I know your wife wrote a book, and, uh, it was very good, but you, you have a great story to tell, and I want to be the one to tell it, and here is my card, and call me, okay?

Thanks. I'll give it some thought.

Okay. What a lovely man.

[ radio ] The National Weather Service now reports the storm is only a few miles from the D.C. area and to stand by for evacuation orders.

Not again.

They used to call me a shark, but now I'm looked upon as a beacon of hope, a symbol of change.

It comes with a lot of responsibility, Fin, but you'll get used to it, the spotlight.

The spotlight, I can handle.

That's not what I'm worried about.

D.C. isn't safe. What?

I know how this is gonna sound, but I can sense these storms now, the drop in temperature, the humidity, these crazy cloud formations.

These sharks, they have a scent, and it's not a pretty one.

I lost a friend in New York last year.

Sorry.

Every time a northeaster comes off the Atlantic, I worry. Is this gonna be the big one?

Is this gonna be one we can't contain?

I need to speak to the N.W.S.

I can make that happen.

Where's the First Lady?

She's in Oklahoma with the family.

They're okay.

We better get you inside, Mr. President, now.

[ wind blowing ]

The storm is getting close. Get the President down in the bunker.

Oh, my God.

[ crowd screaming ]

[ overlapping chatter, screaming]

Come on, Mr. President.

Let's go!

It's my job to protect her!

Don't make me angry.

Come on, let's go!

Aah! [ screams ]

We gotta go. Don't look. Come on. We gotta go.

I've gotta get you out of here, Madam Vice President.

Hey, where you going?! Wait for me!

Let's go! Out! Sir, they're everywhere!

Mr. President, Sir, Agent Webb is down. We're moving you to the bunker.

Fin, come with us. This man is not cleared!

I just cleared him! Let's go!

Maverick is on the move to P.E.O.C.

Hey, I am the Chief of Staff!

[ screams ]

We gotta get out of here!

You can't do that!

There's no time, Madam Vice President.

Let's go! Come on!

On three. Ready?

1, 2, 3!

Move! Let's move!

FIN: Give me a gun! Can't do that!

Where's this bunker? Here in the basement!

The base--Whoa! Let's go!

Water flows down! This is a bad idea!

Move! Move! Move!

Come on, come on! Give me a gun!

I can help!

Only the Secret Service can have a gun this close to the President.

What? This doesn't buy me any trust?

Mr. Shepard, this literally is one of the most secure areas on the face of the Earth.

[ yells ]

PRESIDENT: What do we do now?

We fight, but I'm gonna need some more firepower than that!

The armory! Let's go!

[ vacuum whirring ]

Thought your policy was to save the sharks.

Nobody attacks my house.

This time, it's personal.

[ screams ]


Hail to the Chief.

This is for America, baby!

Aah!

Go, Mr. President! We have to get out of here!

Let's get the hell out of here.

Let's do this! Right behind you, buddy!

MARTIN: Come on, hurry!

Martin, you all right? We're fine!

Mr. President, you all right?

Can it do that?

Looks like the rules have changed.

[ yelling ]

Come on! Get it! Get it!

Come on! [ grunts ]

God bless America.

¶ Shark! ¶

¶ Go, go, go, go, go, go, go ¶

¶ Run away from the sharknado ¶

¶ It's your greatest foe, foe, foe ¶

¶ Don't wanna get eaten by a sharknado ¶

¶ Sharknado ¶

¶ Sharknado ¶

¶ Sharknado ¶

¶ Sharknado ¶

¶ Sharknado ¶

¶ Sharknado ¶

¶ Shark! ¶


It's fine. He called last night, didn't he?

Yeah, I know, but I just wanted him to be here to enjoy your birthday.

It's okay. I'm used to it.

Don't say it. I said nothing.

Except, "Happy birthday."

Thank you, Grandma May.

Love the new hair, by the way.

Oh, thank you. I love it, too.

Okay, birthday girl. Have some fun.

Get in a little trouble.

All right, I will.

Are you sure your friend's inside?

Yeah, Jess is there.

Well, I want to see you home by 9:00.

I'm 18.

10:00. Mom!

11:00.

Okay, bye. Love you.

Bye, little growing thing. Have fun.

Okay, let's take the bus back to the Cabana Bay Resort.

I want a cocktail.

It's here. Let's walk.

Hi. Welcome to Universal Orlando Resort.

Thank you. You bet.

[ cellphone rings ]

Hey, baby. Sorry I didn't call sooner.

I was getting worried.

Well, they grounded all the flights out of D.C.

I rented a car. Martin's on his way to New York.

He's fine. What about you? It's all good The doctor just said that the baby is doing great.

As long as it's healthy and I'm there when it's born, that's all I care about.

Okay. So you're coming home?

Yeah. I'm gonna drive straight through. I'll see you tomorrow.

Oh, I have a few things to say if he wants to talk to me.

[ chuckles ] All right, I love you. Bye.

Okay. Bye-bye, babe.

I'm Matt Lauer, along with Savannah Guthrie.

"The Today Show," reporting live now from Washington, D.C., following the violent storm that devastated this capital area yesterday.

The Washington Monument, the White House not far from where we are right now, both destroyed by the worst sharknado this country has seen since the first formation two years ago.

We can now go live to Hoda and Kathie Lee.

They are broadcasting from Universal Orlando.

Now there's no indication that there's any storm on the horizon here, is there?

No, beautiful blue skies.

People are hanging out in their thongs. It's great.

By the way, we're just having a...

Good time. good ol' time.

Hi! You must be Claudia Shepard.

Yep, and my friend Jess is up there.

Oh, great. I've got a couple of V.I.P. treatment, front-of-the-line express passes for you.

Awesome. Great.

You want me to walk you up? Yeah.

Oh, I heard your dad saved the President.

Oh, yeah, that's my dad, ruler of the universe, savior of mankind with his almighty chainsaw.

Oh, be good to him. You know, he's the only dad you have.

Well, I'm Babs, and I'm here to help you out with anything you need.

Well, I hope you have a wonderful day.

Thanks. And remember, these passes allow you full access to the park, front of the line.

Awesome. Yay! Great. Okay, good.

Jess!

Hey! Hi.

You look so good!

Your hair is amazing!

Super rebellious. [ cellphone rings ]

Yeah, you know. Hey, Dad.

Mom's worried about you. Hope you called her first.

Of course I did.

Are you here?

If I turn around, are you gonna surprise me?

No. I'm just outside of D.C.

I'll surprise you tomorrow, though.

Well, it's not a surprise if you tell me.

Okay, see you soon, Dad.

Excuse me Just put your phone and your purses over in the cupboard over there. Oh, ok And then step over here... Thank you. for the front-row experience.

BABS: Have fun.

On second thought, I'm actually gonna sit this one out.

Go ahead. What?

Front-row seat!

We need a single rider over here!

Perfect. Look at this.

All right! It's time for the Bruce to let the rocket loose!

Here we go!

See you later! Later, gators!

Have a good time!

Whoa! [ laughing ]

Whoa!

Whoa.

All right, here we go. [ screams ]

We're gonna go right now to NBC news correspondent Tom Levinson, who is about to interview Congresswoman Michele Bachmann.

Well, as I understand it, the President of the United States called for an immediate evacuation of all of the cities that are on the eastern seaboard of the United States, but it's still very premature.

And do you know anything about the nature of these shark storms?

Are they growing in size?

It appears that they are, but no one knows for sure. It's still premature.

I'm sorry, Tom. I've got to go.

I've gotta get to a vote.

[ laughs ]

Billy.

Claudia.

There you go.

Fun, right? Yeah.

BABS: So you enjoy it?

Fun, right?

You enjoy the ride? Yeah.

I have your things. Thank you.

Now remember, if you need anything else here at Universal Orlando, just ask for Babs.

All right. Okay?

Thank you. All right.

Have fun, guys.

She forgot her phone!

Hey! Your phone!

They always come back.

FRANK: This is the "Heidi and Frank Show," and we are covering the destruction and mayhem that is Washington, D.C., right now.

The Sharknado has pretty much destroyed everything in sight.

HEIDI: Traffic continues to be at a standstill on I-95.

You might want to try Route 17.

I don't blame the sharks on this destruction.

I blame one Fin Shepard. It seems like everywhere he goes, destruction follows.

Do not think it's a weather anomaly.

I think he has a plan, and wherever he goes, he destroys.

Nobody else survives, yet Fin Shepard and his family seem to always survive just fine.

We'll be back in just a moment right here on the "Heidi and Frank Show."


What the... [ crowd screaming ]


FIN: Great, fognado.


[ chainsaw buzzing ]

Yeah! [ laughs ]

[ chainsaw buzzing ]


Nova?

Hey, Fin.

We are proud to announce today that we have here on loan from NASCAR Brad Keselowski's stock car along with the Xfinity stock car.

These are the exact replicas of Brad's car, and he will be here today onsite to sign autographs for all of you after the Daytona 500.

You didn't look very Semper Paratus in that ditch.

I rented a car. I had to improvise.

How'd you know where I was?

I've been tracking all this activity since L.A.

Teamed up with Lucas, and we decided to learn all that we could, plan ahead, saving as many lives as possible.

Of course, slaying sharks along the way.

And, um, my tracking app showed that you were close.

Tracking app?

You know where I'm at at all times?

Friends are supposed to look out for each other, right?

Yeah. You know, as a matter of fact, that works both ways.

Nova, where have you been? It's been over a year since I've heard from you. I was worried.

If you really wanted to find me, you could have.

There's a lot of work to get done.

A lot of it. She's quite obsessive, a little bit insane, bordering on savant, and, uh, rocks leather like no one I've ever met.

Yeah. If the world goes to hell, it's her you want by your side.

The feeling's mutual.

April's due any day. I was on my way to Orlando to meet up with her and Claud.

You're having a baby?

Another child with April.

Fin Shepard.

I guessed. Lucas Stevens.

Yeah, sorry. This is Lucas.

He helps maintain the Beast.

You travel with your own mechanic now?

Well, mechanic- slash-bodyguard.

Anyway, I gotta check the data.

I think you're gonna love what we've done with the place. Come on.

You gotta be kidding me.

I don't know whether to be impressed or concerned.

MAN: I have intel on that big storm you were asking about...

The data on Washington is still coming in.

Lucas: Great, send it over Who are you talking to? MAN: Intel on its way.

Nova and I made a pact we wouldn't tell anybody where we get--

I have some connections over at the N.W.S.

What we've done, what we do, what we can do, it's polarizing.

You know, we're still getting crap for bombs in the tornado, but the collateral damage that the tornadoes made themselves was worse than anything the bombs could have done.

But at the end of the day, the crazy chick with posttraumatic shark disorder, my abnormally genius best friend, and the man with the chainsaw, no one else can get the job done like we can.

Boy, have you changed.

We analyzed every aspect of the storms in L.A. and New York.

That Freon thing you did in New York was way cool, by the way.

What'd I say?

I lost my friend Skye in that storm.

She sacrificed herself for April and me.

I'm so sorry.

Fin, hey, I've been wanting to show you this.

Look, I think this is where you found me.

I mean, I got swallowed whole.

There's no way I could have passed through the intestines.

You need to let this go. It's over.

This isn't over at all.

It won't be over until we figure out why this is happening and why it keeps coming back.

Or what? Or we can just kill 'em all!

Just kill them all, shoot, bang! Look.

Nova, relax!

You know, you can find some pretty amazing things in a shark's gut, license plates, sneakers, mini trampolines, anything they swallow in the ocean.

But you know what the most common thing regular sharks eat is?

Fish.

Yes, fish. But sharknado sharks, they eat something that regular sharks don't, birds.

And look. This one...

and this one... we found ice.

They're staying up in the clouds for long periods of time.

They're surviving up there, Fin.

The storm in Washington got sucked up right into the sky.

I've never seen anything like that before.

It's the only reason I'm alive.

Yeah, well, I mean, tornadoes in general, they touch down, dissipate, and reform all at low-pressure zones.

The entire east coast is a low-pressure zone.

[ kids laughing ]

Hey, no running. No running.

Woo!

How do you see the role of social media assisting...

There are redditors on the OurSharknado subreddit sharing photos and updates, and so that's how we know it's on its way.

Internet's gonna go down.

You can sit in your basement hiding from the apocalypse upstairs all you want.

But understand... Okay, let's talk names.

Well, if it's a girl, I like the name Brittany.

Eww. I knew a Brittany once. She was horrible.

[ laughs ]

How 'bout June?

No. April, May, June?

That's ridiculous.

Fin, we could really use your help.

I have a thousand questions, especially about New York.

No, no. I'm going to Orlando. April's expecting me.

We're starting a new chapter in our lives after all she's been through.

And you.

And me.

We could just drive you.

To Orlando?

Nova, the plan!

I thought we have work to do. I mean, we've been tracking this formulation for eight months.

You said so yourself, focus, no detours.

This isn't a detour, Lucas.

The eye of the storm is heading south.

We've been tracking it. You know this. Come on.

Well, there's less safe ways I can get down there, yeah.

Let's do it. Nova.

This is supposed to be our thing.

Hey, check this out.

Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm sorry to let you know that we're gonna have to turn you two in.

You're what?

Oh, okay. You will have to get through me first.

Should I be afraid?

Have you ever met someone who survived a sharknado?

No, but my boy survived an alligator apocalypse.

How 'bout that? Alligator.

Oh, my God.

He's kinda cute.

Whose idea was the Beast?

Mine. These storms are getting more frequent, and they're growing in size.

Someone's gotta prepare for what's really coming.

And we can't always assume that you're gonna be the one that saves the day the next time the big one hits.

Oh, yeah? So this is the answer?

[ sighs ] Saved you, didn't it?

Is it strong enough to survive a storm as big as New York or Los Angeles?

She sure is.

We have a failsafe.

These new storms are completely unpredictable.

But I saw a formation about 50 miles ahead.

Come on.

Time to play.

Living on the edge, eh, Nova?

What if it's a boy?

Well, Fin likes the name Charles.

Charles Shepard? I read somewhere that 25% of all serial killers are named Charles.

You did not read that. You just don't like the name.

[ overlapping chatter, screaming]

[ screaming continues] [ diners chattering ]

April, no!

Get out of the pool! Get out of the pool now!

Shark!

There's a shark in the pool!

[ whirring ]

Please! You have to save my daughter!

[ girl screams ]

No, you're not going anywhere!

APRIL: I could have saved him.

ou are just joining us let us bring you up to speed. We're in Washington, D.C., and we thought that this storm had passed.

It now appears, though, there is a lot more trouble brewing.

I think we're gonna start calling it the Feast Coast, and that's because, for the first time, it looks like there's not one incident, but multiple pockets of sharknadoes developing and that cities up and down the eastern seaboard are being put on red alert today.

Hey, sweetie. APRIL: Fin, are you okay?

I got into some trouble on the road.

Are you gonna be here soon?

Yes. You're never gonna guess who's giving me a ride.

Let me guess. Nova.

Yeah, I'm with Nova. How do you know that?

Who else would give you a ride in the middle of a sharknado?

Wifey sense. Hi, April!

Still not a stripper!

Yeah, okay, I should be there by morning.

But I just heard this trough is moving into Florida, and I know you could take care of yourself, but you're playing ninja for two now, okay, so promise me you'll stay safe.

Fin, we got some trouble here.

A shark fell from the sky.

It came out of nowhere.

You need to find Claudia and get somewhere safe.

Let's just go.

Mrs. Officer. You know, earlier we did some stuff that I'm not proud of, so let me make it up to you.

Let's go on the ride.

Come on. Come with me.

We could--You know, I'm fishing here.

Don't leave me hanging.

Let's go. Okay.

There we go.

Come on. You're cute. Come on.

Gotta love best friends. Yep.


So what's it like having a famous dad?

What's it like having a tool for a best friend?

Uh, yeah, okay. I get it.

Don't want to live in his shadow.

Be your own person.

Did you dye your hair to make a statement?

I was--I was kidding.

It's true. It's fine.

Don't worry about it.

She's such a flirt. Yeah.

They're made for each other.

Pretty much.

[ knocks ]

Guys, we have a little problem!

We just missed the storm. Or it missed us.

We gotta circle back, take the long way back north--

No, no, we're going this way. It's the quickest way south.

The bridge is gone.

We can't go that way.

I'd get you to an airport, but you know the flights are grounded.

We're near Charleston, right?

Yeah. Okay.

Not all the flights are grounded.

Sorry, the base is on lockdown. No visitors.

Sergeant, my name's Fin Shepard.

Is General Gottlieb still the commanding officer here?

Fin Shepard?

The Fin Shepard?

The Medal of Freedom, kills sharks with a chainsaw, saved L.A., New York, and the President of the United States Fin Shepard?

Yeah, that Fin Shepard.

And I'm the Easter Bunny. Y'all better move along and take this Mystery Machine with you.

I am Fin Shepard.

General Gottlieb is a personal friend of mine.

Can you please get him on the phone and tell him I'm here to see him?

Looks good, Sergeant Warren.

All right. I'll call the C.O.

Wait here.

Thank you.

You can go in.

The General will meet you there.

Thank you.

Yeah, you better hurry. The base is being evaced.

They're saying that there's no way to predict when one of these storms might hit, so they're sending all the planes inland.

I really hate sharks.

Yeah. You and me both.

Could be worse. Could be zombies.

[ soldiers chattering ]

I'll take you to the General.

General.

Fin, you old surf bum.

This is Nova and Lucas.

Nice to meet you. Heard your son's doing a tour.

That's right, another eight months.

I'll look out for him. Appreciate that.

You guys picked a hell of a time to shoot the breeze.

Apparently, the storms are getting dangerously close together.

NOAA's monitoring them every second.

One of my computer-modeled scenarios was a large low-pressure cell with multiple sharknadoes. If enough of them merge, the whole storm will start to rotate.

Merging sharknadoes?

Sharkicane.

Can there be such a thing?

I could be wrong.

Biometeorology is not really an exact science yet.

If the storm heads south, it's gonna get warmer, and it's gonna get stronger, could destroy the entire east coast.

That's what the Pentagon said, too.

We've almost evaced the whole base.

I'm about to get on the last transport.

We're heading up to Indiana.

General, I need a plane.

My family's in Orlando.

Yeah, I know. That's what they told me.

I've got one last plane to be still taken.

It's an old one. We call her Bessy.

We still use her for training. Come on.

[ soldiers chattering ]

This is it.

I've gotta go.

Sergeant Rock will take care of you from here.

Be safe. Good luck.

Mr. Fin. The General speaks very highly of you.

And since he's letting you take Old Bessy up, I assume you know how to fly.

Yeah, a little bit. My son taught me how.

But she's supersonic.

I can fly.

She can do anything.

I've got over 100 hours in a T-38, plus demo flights in an F-14, F-15, and F-22.

Well, what'd you think I'd been doing since L.A.?

Semper Paratus, right? The world is ending, Fin.

You need to be prepared.

You don't believe that. It's not ending.

Uh, yeah, I do. The signs are all around us.

Just because it's raining sharks and not frogs doesn't mean it's not coming to an end.

Well, I'm not gonna buy into any doomsday scenario, not while my family needs me.

Ma'am, your bird's all gassed up.

Flight suits in the back. Come on.

Go! Go, go, go, go, go!

Go! Get in the plane! Hurry, go!

I'll take care of it! The Beast can handle this.

That's what I built her for!

Hey, Nova... what? good luck!

Thank you.

Be careful, okay?!

Failsafe, remember! Okay.

[ screams ]

[ screams ]

Flaps. Check.

So who taught you how to fly?

Same person as you.

Matt.

Before he deployed.


Lucas!

[ yelling ]

Lucas! Oh, my God!

[ yelling ]

[ grunts ] My God! It's too late!

You can't save him!

Damn it!

I know! I know!

Nova, we have to go!

We have to go now, or he died for nothing!


Damn you! All of you!

Why does this keep happening?

I'm gonna kill all of 'em, every last one of them!

Tried that three times.

Didn't seem to work.

How do you do it, Fin?

You been to the same place as me.

I think about my family.

Thinking about them, I'm not thinking about the sharks.

And friends?

Yeah.

Of course.

You're not alone, Nova.

When you pulled me out of that shark, I thought I was dead.

Afterwards, nothing was the same.

Let's hit it!

[ grunting ]

She always answers her phone.

This isn't like her.

Where is she?

This day is such a disaster.

We're making good time.

Approaching Daytona.

How do you know?

NASCAR.

A twister's forming at one o'clock!

Well, head towards it. What?

There's 250,000 race fans down there.

We have an external tank.

If we drop it into the funnel high enough and at a safe distance, detonate it, it'll dissipate the storm, or at least it'll kill all the sharks.


[ indistinct announcements playing ]

What's going on?

That.

Oh, hell, no!

Releasing on three.

1, 2, 3.

Take that.

[ gunfire ]

Yeah!

Damn.

The sharknado is dissipating.

I think we're--

Up ahead! Ohh!

I can't hold it, Fin!

Oh! We're going down!

Let me take it! I can land it!

Don't worry!

I've done this before!

COMPUTER: Warning. Warning.


Any idea where we are?

Right where we want to be.

It's still going straight to voice mail.

There's an app for everything, and you don't have one to find your daughter?

We actually have one. Great idea.

You complain about me hovering.

Xfinity just popped up.

That's the Wi-Fi.

[ thunder rumbling ]

Okay, this is impossible.

We're 50 miles from the ocean.

The app says they're over here.

Come on. Let's go get Claudia and Jess.

Mom, I need you to go somewhere safe.

I have to find Claudia.

I'll do no such thing.

April Dawn Wexler Shepard!

I am not leaving you and my grandchild.

I know what I'm doing.

Now you get somewhere safe, and I'll find you afterwards, I promise.

[ brakes squeal ] [ riders screaming ]

Excuse me! Wait!

Have you seen my daughter? She's 18.

She's about this high. She has long brown hair.

That describes half the girls in the park.

My tracking app says she's right here.

I don't know. Maybe she's up here. I gotta go.

I gotta go find her. Okay, listen.

Follow me, and stay close!

Oh, please, here. Take my picture Please, please, take my picture! Real fast, just a picture.

There's no time for this! You have to get out of here!

Nova, come on!

[ screams ]

[ riders gasping ]

BILLY: Hey, look at that. Pretty cool, huh?

Hey, is that a shark?

Run faster! Go! Go!

All right, listen!

I want everyone to listen to me! We're shutting down the ride, so I want everyone to exit the ride in a quick and orderly fashion! Do you understand?

Okay, we're gonna start at the front, one row at a time in single file.

Come on. Here we go.

Have you seen my daughter?

Have you seen my daughter?

Have you guys seen my daughter?

Sorry. I haven't seen her.

[ screaming ]

Let's go! Come on!

Move, move, move! Jess, come on!

[ shrieks ]

Come on!

[ screaming ]

Come on!

Get clear!

Have you seen my daughter?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?

That's my wife. April! Fin!

It's a family full of crazy maniacs!

I can't find her. She's not here.

Come on! The storm isn't over!

No, it's just beginning.

How could both our phones be wrong?

It reads like she's right here!

You looking for this?

There's a shark on the track! Come on! Let's go!

Baby, what are you doing up here?

You're not the only hero in the family.

BRUCE: Here he comes again!

Come on! I'm almost done! We gotta go! Come on!

[ gasps ]

[ screaming ]

Fin!

April! Fin!

[ crash ]

[ wind blowing ]

[ groans ]

[ chainsaw buzzing ]

[ cheering ]

Fin, Claudia!

Finley, where have you been?

Nice to see you, too, May.

Claudia!

Claudia, I was worried sick about you.

Fin! Fin! Don't do that again.

The storm is too close. Come on.

We gotta find shelter. Let's move! Move it!

MAN: Come on. It's safer inside.

[ audience gasps ] [ screaming ]

[ crowd screaming ]

Get to the Globe! The Globe!

Ah, hell, where are the keys?!

Where are the keys?!

Where's the handle? Aah!

This is Lester Williams reporting live from Orlando!

[ screams ]

1, 2, 3! 1, 2, 3!

[ both scream ]

It's ti--Aah!

Get in the globe!

Come on, come on, come on.

Hang on tight!

[ all screaming ]

Don't let go!


April, are you okay?

Yeah. I'm fine.

Claud? Yeah.

My mom bumped her head!

I'm gonna go get some help.

Next time, we have to think these things through.

I love you, andma y.

Look, I'm really okay.

I just got dizzy with all that tumbling.

I guess you're used to that sort of stuff.

You never get used to this.

Finley, I can see why she loves yo Glad you're okay, Mom.

MEDIC: Hey, we got to go.

Mom, I love you.

I love you.

This is the scenario that Lucas modeled.

If these sharknadoes merge, they can take out the entire east coast.

He produced two plans, but I don't think we can go through with either of them.

Why is that? Because look.

For this one, it involves letting the storms merge first.

What else we got? Uh... this one involves several nuclear weapons.

All right, let's go back to the first plan.

Well, for this one, we're probably gonna need NASA.

NASA?

Yeah, we need to create a tower of flames

60 miles high burning at temperatures hotter than the surface of the sun.

Fin... you gotta do it.

What?

Dad, it's Fin.

It's hard to get your arms around what's happening, but here's what we know.

Cities are emptying out.

The President has placed this entire nation on high alert.

And as of now, we're hearing that three sharknadoes have hit Charleston, wiping out the entire city.

In fact, sharknadoes have now been reported all up and down the east coast.

There is concern the storms will grow in frequency and then, of course, in size.

How are we gonna get to Cape Canaveral?

FIN: That's how.

BABS: You can't take those cars!

You can't take those cars!

I'm gonna lose my job! [ sighs ]

[ screams ]

You guys need anything else?

No, Flo. We're good to go.

Thanks, darlin'.

So your son's got himself in a little situation, huh?

Knowing Fin, he's just making it up as he goes along.

I've been shot down over Da Nang, flamed out over Kuwait.

Pretty sure I saw a UFO when I was in the space shuttle, but I wouldn't want to fight a shark.

[ shudders ]

[ chuckles ]

Are you okay?

Yeah. I'll do this myself.

So Neil says--You know, how serious Neil can be.

Totally straight-faced, he says, "Buzz, still think it would be good on your résumé."

[ laughs ]

Oh, my gosh. That's Fin Shepard. Yeah, it is.

Oh, hi, Fin.

Well, we'll let, uh--We'll let you two talk.

Hey, Dad. I take it O'Malley's is closed.

O'Malley sold the bar to his idiot kid, who turned it into a fast-food fun-land kiddie monstrosity, so I bought it back, changed it into this.

You know why?

So I could have a place to come home to.

That Claudia out there?

Yeah. Wow.

She's even prettier than her pictures.

Do me a favor, huh?

Just ask her to call me Colonel, okay?

Yeah, sure thing.

Who's the other one?

Boy or girl?

It's gonna be a surprise.

You know, kid, the best thing you ever did was winning the heart of that cheerleader.

Too bad you screwed it up so royally.

Dad, I need your help.

In fact, we all need your help.

I got a plan.

These storms, they're gonna merge, and when they do, it's gonna destroy everything.

Those bombs we dropped last time, it's not gonna cut it.

We need to create a lot of heat in the eye to equalize the pressure, and then we need to give these storms a place to go and take these sharks with them so they don't rain down on millions of people.

So you really are saving the world.

How do I fit in?

[ thunder crashes ]

We gotta go. The storm is coming.

Gilbert Grayson Shepard, but you can call me Colonel.

Sit down, darlin'.

It's nice to meet you.

Fin says you work at NASA.

I was in the astronaut program.

The shuttle's solid rocket boosters and the engine combined could produce enough heat.

It'd be like a column of flame that would dissipate the storm.

Everyone knows the space shuttles are retired, kind of like me.

A whole career, never once got into outer space.

Well, there always has been rumors about a secret military shuttle.

Don't believe everything you hear.

If there's some top-secret classified shuttle, we have to use it.

Millions of people are gonna die.

This could be a chance to save them. You could save them.

If this shuttle exists, we have to try.

Divulging classified information will get you 25 years in Leavenworth.

Maybe you could talk to your friend, the President, and he could help us out.

I could ask.

Jonesy? Shepard here.

The Independence needs to fly.

[ thunder rumbling ] l now is collecting speed and size and forming into a--

I can't believe I'm saying this, but a massive sharknado wall that stretches literally up and down the east coast.

What is the safety zone for people who want to be away from this Sharknado haboob?

10 miles, 30, 100.

100 miles?

We're less than 100 miles from there.

That's right.

We are.

ANNOUNCER: Of course, the weather along the eastern aboard from Canada to the Carolinas continues to be downright apocalyptic, with a massive low-pressure trough dominating the region.

Gilbert, I got your message. Are you crazy?

Brian "Jonesy" Jones, NASA Administrator, meet my son Finlay.

Mr. Shepard, heard a lot about you.

The Colonel can't stop talking about you.

Can't?

Look, I passed your message on to the White House. Everything's fine, but...

But what? We're not ready.

Look, we've only got Independence at the 80% fuel capacity level, and you're gonna use that to dissipate the storm, and that means pfft. I understand that.

That's why I'm going on this mission alone.

No, we're going alone.

No, we're not. You heard what he said.

It may not work. Now, you're gonna be a new dad.

I can handle this myself.

It might not work is exactly why I have to go.

What do you know about sharknadoes?

Why do you always have to be the hero?

I'm gonna take your dad so we can prep the shuttle.

This is gonna be one hell of a father and son road trip.

Sir, the sharknado wall will hit the coast in 10 minutes.

Okay, team, listen up!

I know this is a last-minute call-up, but you are the ones to pull this off.

I'm counting on you to complete the countdown process and launch Independence. You'll be fine.

SUPERVISOR: The fate of the entire east coast depends on it.

Now get to work.

Colonel, there's a thousand things that can go wrong.

Ted, I don't think we have a lot of choices, huh?

This is a Hail Mary at most.

I'm not gonna risk other peoples' lives with our plan.

It's gonna be me and my son. That's it, me and my son.

About that, he's not prepared.

He's never even flown the sim.

Not open for discussion.

Gilbert, listen.

I know you helped design the flight systems, but this isn't a simulator.

You've never actually flown a shuttle.

Nobody has ever flown it though a sharknado before.

I'm as qualified as anyone.

Just promise you'll be careful, and keep her in one piece.

For this to work, we gotta blast off at the right moment and find a hole in the wall.

[ sighs ] I don't think being careful is an option, guys.

The shuttle would never make it through that wall.

Not to mention the sharks.

You're all set, astronaut Shepard.

I'm not an astronaut. That's my dad's gig.

Heh. You're going out in space, aren't you?

Yeah. Last I checked, those were the only requirements.

And don't worry about all that Buck Rogers stuff they talk about.

Not as hard as they make it seem.

Computers do most of the work.

It's not space I'm worried about.

It's the sharks.

Maybe the sharks will help with the aliens.

Aliens?

[ laughs ]

I'm just kidding.

You good to go? Yeah.

Safe flight. Thanks.

The wall is hitting the coast in five minutes!

Hey, there's a fighter on the airstrip out there.

I'll try to clear it up for you.

Don't go being a hero, Nova.

Oh, you're the only one who can take risks?

Anyway, your dad sent me to give this to you.

I think he has a crush on me.

I made some modifications of my own.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, um, I've been meaning to tell you, I think you're gonna make a great father this time.

Just don't die, okay?

I'll work on that.

You take care of yourself now.

I always do.


Director Regina, the sharknado wall is moving in.

Prep status?

We're ready to go!

Oh, hey.

You're really lucky.

You guys are a great family.

Thank you.

It's kind of crazy, huh?

Can't believe Fin's going up in that shuttle.

He's what?

He didn't tell you yet?

No!


[Elevator dings]

The Sharknado wall is going to hit! Let's move it, people!

We gotta get them in the air now!

Independence, Control.

We have to get you in the air now.

You won't be able to launch if the wall reaches you.

Okay!

Fin! Fin, stop!

Hey, what are you doing here?

Get back down to Mission Control!

You're not getting on that shuttle.

You're coming back with me! That's not an option!

Are those sharks falling?

They're gonna hit the shuttle!

Shouldn't we stop the launch?

No, we'll send the National Guard to protect the shuttle.

I can't believe you're doing this, and you didn't even tell me!

Because I knew you would talk me out of it.

COLONEL: Son, we gotta go now.

My mom was right. About what?

That you don't know how to stop being a hero.

This isn't about being a hero.

This is about us. This is about our family.

Have you seen what's going on outside?

These storms, they just keep getting bigger!

Every shark in the world must be flying around out there.

If I can do this, maybe we get some peace.

I'm coming back, and when I do, I'm never gonna leave you again.

Promise?

COLONEL: Fin, get up here now!

I promise.

I love you.

Come on.

Fin!

April!

Give me your hand!

Come on.

We're at 30 seconds and counting.

The National Guard has arrived.

Put yourself in front of the shuttle.

Don't let any sharks hit it.

Open fire!

Not one shark gets back to the shuttle!

[ gunfire ]

Come on!

Colonel Shepard, We're about to initiate the launch sequence.

Copy? Colonel Shepard?

COLONEL: Fin! They're starting the countdown!

Come on, we've got to get you suited up!

Hurry up! Get in the chair, and buckle up!

We're now at T minus 10.

Welcome aboard, son!

8, 7...

Helmets on.

T-They're not gonna make it.

5, 4... They're not gonna make it!

LAUNCH DIRECTOR: Abort! Abort!

Sir, are we launching?

We can't.

The wall is too thick.

FIN: We need to make a hole in the wall.

APRIL: I think we need Nova. All right.

FIN: Mission Control, find Nova!

Are you okay?

I'm not good, but save yourself.

You're too late for me. Get out of here!

More sharks! Sharks!

[ gun clicks ] I'm out of bullets.

There's no time for makeup, man! Get out of here!

Trust me, they are real.

.75 caliber mascara.

SOLDIER: Mascara shotgun.

You owe me one, Fin.

I've got visual on the shuttle.

[ screams ]

Starting spiral heat now!

Are you crazy? We can't go out there.

Yes, we can. Let's go.

COLONEL: She's clearing the path.

NOVA: It's working! Get ready to launch.

Are we back on for launch? Yep.

You guys are clear to launch! Go now!

Everybody ready?

Visors down.

What are you doing out here?

Thought you could use some help!

You're crazy! Get back inside! Let's go!

Get down!

Help me!

Go grab a gun!

Gun? What do I do with this thing?

Shoot it!

Shoot it? If I can hold it.

[ fires ] Whaah!

How are you so good at that?

I'm a Shepard!

Don't worry, son.

It's like riding a bike.

Not any bike I ever rode.

I didn't want our first date to be like this!

Rather we watched a movie!

Eating popcorn!

Talking about our hobbies!

What do you like to read?

Sci-fi! Watch out!

I'm so sorry I got you into this!

There's no more bullets!

I'm out! So am I!

[ yells ] Come on! Let's go!

Come on! They're gonna launch.

We need to get inside.

9, 8, 7, 6...

Go for main engine start.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and liftoff!

Space shuttle Independence...

Shuttle is free of the tower. Mission is under way.

What the hell?

Let's go.

Hey! [ screams ]

Billy!

Billy, no! No! No.

Please, Billy!

No!

Hang on! Hang on!

Get ready. We only have 10 seconds to release the rockets and destroy the sharknado wall.

Ready. Now!

Mission Control, releasing now.

Mr. Officer, confirm staging a good solid rocket booster separation.

SUPERVISOR: Detonate the SRBs.

Hang on!

Now get ready to jettison the external fuel tank.

FIN: Not yet. Not yet.

COLONEL: Veering off course! Veering off course!

What?

Five degrees port!

Watch your pitch! Watch your pitch!

One degree yaw!

SUPERVISOR: Colonel Shepard, do you read?

This is Mission Control.

Lose the external fuel tank to get into orbit.

I'm going to use the OMS thrusters to boost us up to a higher orbit.

All right, good. Good.

Now!

SUPERVISOR: All right. Detonate the external fuel tank.

There she comes. She's coming around. She's coming around.

The heat from the rocket should have a domino effect.

See? It's happening.

April, you good?

I'm good.

Wow.

This is beautiful.

I think you should take a look at this.

Quick, what've you got?

It didn't work. The storm wall is still there.

Independence, we are picking up storm activity.

Damn it!

The storm's too big.

It's not working.

I'm sorry, Dad.

Sorry? Heh.

We're not dead yet.

What are you doing?

Plan B.

What the hell's that?

Strategic Defense Initiative.

Star Wars? I thought that didn't work.

That's what you're supposed to think, but I've been working on it almost my entire career.

It's probably why I didn't get into space until now.

We've been redefining the technology for years.

So much power now.

If we fire that thing directly into the storm, it should ionize the water vapor, give us enough room to collapse it.

Mission Control. Colonel Shepard.

We're gonna try and use the SDI satellite system to fight this storm.

I need to speak with Major Rene Joubert.

ANNOUNCER: The sharknado has completely devastated the entire eastern seaboard.

Half the nation's population is retreating to shelters.

The government is unable to do anything to stop this disaster, but we're not leaving. No.

It's been great working with all of you.

[ all scream ]

Oh, Gilbert, mon ami.

Bonjour, Rene!

I hear you want to do something impossible and dangerous, which is not surprising.

I know it sounds stupid, but, uh, we need to reactivate our old science project to end this storm.

I need a startup sequence.

Okay, okay, I'm sending you. It'll come onscreen now.

But you will have to target the weapons from your console.

You know that?

Colonel Shepard, NASA weather telemetry is locked on to your transmissions. Stand by.

[ modem grinding ]

Did we get it?

It's offline. We can't connect.

Colonel, this is Director Regina.

We're not hearing any response.

Oh, the interface must have failed.

She has been out there a long time, no?

You have to reboot and target it manually, you know?

I understand, Rene.

Thank you.

[ speaking French ]

What does that mean? Oh, nothing.

It just means I gotta go outside and give this old clunker a big, you know, kick in the butt.

Dad.

It's okay, pal.

I'm living my dream.

Flying in space?

No. Being your hero.

Give these wings to the baby...

so the little one will always fly.

I'll be all right.

COLONEL: I've reached the rocket pack, and I'm ready to leave the shuttle.

Okay.

Colonel Shepard is attempting EVA to reach the SDI satellite to perform a manual restart.

Stand by.

All right, Gil, let's make this one work.

The original control array is damaged.

I'm attempting to reconnect.

Jacksonville has been hit!

We're getting reports that sharks are hitting Graceland.

COLONEL: Almost have it. There!

DIRECTOR: Colonel Shepard, you need to fire this now.

[ beeping ]

It's working! Son, it's working!

Yes! Yeah!

[ cheering ]


Huh. You're a hero, dad.

Without the fuel tank, how could they retrieve Colonel Shepard?

They can't.

He knew that.

When I detached from the shuttle, you only have enough fuel in the tank to either come get me or to re-orbit, not enough for both.

It's okay, son.

I'm where I always wanted to be.

The view is incredible.

[ crackling ] ...sharks...in...

...ing...space.

What was that?

Fin, something hit us!

April, there are sharks in the shuttle!

Where you going? Let's go back to Earth!

We can't! I have to close the hatch!

Sweet.

[ humming ]

Hell, yeah.

Independence, this is Houston.

We can manually override the hatch. Acknowledge.

Fin, come back here!

Independence, acknowledge!

Fin, are you there?

We can remote control the shuttle and bring you in.

Fin, come back! We can get home!

Fin!

How can they survive in space?

How can they survive in a tornado?

We need to go back to the cockpit!

[ screams ] Fin!

[ screams ]

No!

[ grunting ]

April! April, where are you?!



[ chainsaw buzzing ]

[ chainsaw Revving ]

[ baby crying ]

[ faint ] April!

[ crying continues ]

Do you want to meet your son?

Son? [April chuckles]

Hi.

Fin!

Mom! Dad!

Say hello to your brother.

Hi.

So what's my godson's name?

I think I'd like to name him after my dad.

Gilbert.

Gil.

Where's my wings?

I see it. It's right there.

[ debris falling ]

[ all scream ]

[ crash ]

Now's your chance to be part of Sharknado history.

You decide if #AprilLives or #AprilDies by tweeting your choice now or going to Sharknado.Syfy.com to vote.

Her fate will be revealed in Sharknado 4 because we are not done yet!