Dashing through the snow In a one-horse open sleigh Over the fields we go
-Laughing all the way -Slippin' and-a-slidin'
Bells on bob-tails ring Making spirits bright What fun it is to ride and sing
-A sleighing song tonight -Everybody
-Jingle bells, jingle bells -Ooh Jingle all the way...
Jeez, Ang, it's salami, not a Rolex.
Here, Mrs. Fiorella. Merry Christmas.
What is this?
What you ordered, two pounds of salami.
Oh, I'll wrap that, Uncle Donny.
Hey. Brown paper and tape, Ang?
-Never mind. -That's what I thought.
Hello, what would you like?
Well... How about your name, for starters?
-Hello, Angela. -Hi.
-Max. -Max. What would you like, Max?
-MAX: I'd like to order one... -Just a sec.
-...of your world-famous lasagnas. -CLAIRE: It's her mother's recipe.
-Is that right? -CLAIRE: Yeah.
They're all incredible cooks, the whole family.
Play your cards right, you'll eat like a king.
-Claire! -What? What did I say?
Please leave your lasagna order with the lady at the register.
-Merry Christmas. -But, I...
You're worse than my mother.
What, he's a catch! Look at him.
My parents stock our apartment building like a single-guy fish pond.
So? They're trying to help.
I'll pick my own boyfriends, thank you.
Yeah? Well I'm gonna do some picking of my own.
Hey Max, I'll take your order.
CLAIRE: You can't expect every guy to give you goosebumps.
ANGELA: Okay, not every guy. Just one guy.
CLAIRE: Face it, you're not gonna find the man of your dreams around here.
-ANGELA: So maybe I'll move. -CLAIRE: So maybe I'll be Miss America.
ANGELA: (CHUCKLES) So maybe I want more out of life.
Like snow maybe, at Christmas.
Argh! You can have it.
I have this picture in my head of the perfect Christmas, you know?
-(DOG BARKING) -And this...
This ain't it. Not by a long shot.
The perfect guy, the perfect Christmas. I mean, what's next?
I'm not growing old slicing salami, I'll tell you that much.
(GASPS) Don't let your mother hear you say that!
It's her business, not mine.
Sometimes, I think I was born into the wrong family.
I don't get it. You got a good thing here.
It's not me.
What else are you gonna do, hmm?
I don't know.
But it's gonna be something good. Something I love.
Let me know how that works out for you.
-(SCOFFS) See you tomorrow. -CLAIRE: Tomorrow.
Excuse me. I'm looking for an Angela Moreno.
Well, it's your lucky day. You found one.
Thanks. Merry Christmas.
-Oh. Hi. -Hi.
Excuse me. Do you know how to get this thing to work?
Well, when they put it in... installed it.
Well, the wiring guy, he used a crowbar and, uh...
Well, the doohickey got way pushed in and...
So, it's... So, it's broken.
Well, you just can't call it from the lobby.
Come here, I'll show you.
That pizza smells good.
I know, it's driving me crazy. I'm famished.
-I think you'd be sick of it by now. -Huh?
You know, delivering those day after day.
Here you go.
-What floor? -Three, please.
-We could've walked. -(CHUCKLES)
-I'm Eddie, by the way. -Angela.
Oh, here we are. (CHUCKLES) The long ride is over.
We really could've just...
-So long, Eddie. -Actually, I'm headed...
You know, it's none of my business, but, um... but where's that pizza going?
(SCOFFS) I knew it. I bet it's a single guy.
-Very likely. -An eligible bachelor.
-Very eligible, I bet. -Argh! This has got to stop!
They're driving me nuts. I hope you don't live with your family, Eddie.
-That'd be impossible. -Why?
-'Cause 304 is a studio apartment. -What's that supposed to...
-That pizza's... -It's all mine.
-You're not... -A delivery boy? No.
-It was nice meeting you. -Good night.
If you're hungry, you know where to find some pizza.
Good night. Gotta go.
-(DOOR SLAMS, LOCKS) -Okay.
-(DOOR OPENS) -MAN: Hey, Ang.
-Hey, Angie. (SIGHS) -(TV CHATTER)
Oh, yeah, cable's out in the other room.
The other room you're talking about is your apartment, and I'm guessing the cable doesn't work because you haven't paid the bill.
Hot sauce comin' through!
We need to use your kitchen.
What? No! I just got home.
And not a moment too soon.
The smoke... You couldn't... You couldn't even breathe downstairs!
-What happened? -Charred lasagna.
Yeah, yeah, your father, God bless him, I know he was just trying to speed things up but...
(SCOFFS) ...but 60 minutes at 350 is not 35 minutes at 600 degrees.
It's a wonder the fire department didn't show up again.
Maybe you can ask before just barging in. What if I had plans?
-Angie, when do you ever have plans? -Excuse me.
-Mom, what are you doing? -Christmas lasagna.
We have over 60 orders.
That's every stove we've got going pretty much all the time.
And now I'm one oven down and one lasagna short.
Jamie! Will you quit watching TV and set the table!
Oh, no, you know what, we're not doing this again.
This is my kitchen, my apartment. I just cleaned the stains
-out of the carpet from the last time. -Okay, don't be ridiculous!
We're not gonna lug the food up and down the stairs.
Do me a favor, go find your uncle.
Like I can't smell the garlic wafting down the hallway.
-(JAMIE LAUGHS) -(DONNY CHUCKLES) Move over, buddy!
-Oh, come on! -Uh-uh-uh!
-I don't think so! -Come on, Rose.
-Come here and make the salad. -Been on my feet all day.
-Get the kid to do it. -No, Jamie's setting the table.
-Right, Jamie? -Yes, honey!
-ROSE: Ang, go find your father. -I'm sure he'll find us.
-ROSE: Donny! -What?
-Move over. -There's a whole couch over...
(CLAIRE GASPS) Oh!
Is this for me?
No, that is for the baby shower. You're gonna have to wait.
Believe me, I've been waiting eight months.
-What is it? -It's a surprise.
-All right, all right, all right. -James Marcus Dibiasi.
If you think you're going to sit and watch television while your wife, my daughter, the mother of your child, slaves over a hot stove, well, you got another thing coming!
-Ang, cut the bread. -I don't have any bread.
What are you talking about?
-There's bread right here. -Those are bagels.
-What, they're not made of bread? -(JAMIE LAUGHS)
-What are you doing with that? -I'm going to the table.
No. Look, the cloth napkins are in this drawer, the candles are in the sideboard, and the china is in that cabinet.
-ROSE: Salad, Donny, salad. -Yes, sir.
-(JAMIE GROANS) -Jamie, be careful, those are my Christmas plates.
Donny, taste that salad, make sure Gina's using enough garlic.
Ma, I know how to cook!
I brought the sausages. I hope you didn't start without me.
Oh, you are so lucky you're gonna have dinner tonight after what you did to me.
What? Rose, it was an honest mistake.
-Dad, you do this every year. -No, I don't.
Well, you should've known better than to let me near the stove.
-(PORCELAIN SHATTERING) -(GASP)
Well, you can only use them one month a year, right?
So, Dad, how was your day?
Same old, same old.
-Jamie, how's the job search going? -Cut him some slack.
JAMIE: Come on, I'm working on it, okay?
-What's with the second degree? -It's third. Third degree, baby.
It's not even first degree. It's called conversation.
It's what civilized people do at the dinner table.
Look, if he had had his first degree, maybe we wouldn't be
-having this conversation. -(SNICKERS)
-Ma! Don't you start on him too! -Mm.
It's the Giants.
-(TV CHATTER) -Mom!
TV COMMENTATOR: It's a pretty tight game.
-Turn the volume down. -Okay.
So, I was thinking maybe we have a traditional Christmas dinner this year.
ROSE: Well, of course we have Christmas dinner, Angela.
-Don't we always? -No, I mean, not just green lasagna and meatballs, like, something special. Like a goose, or stuffing, or maybe even pudding.
What's wrong with green lasagna?
-It's tacky. -It's festive!
I love those little chocolate pudding cups.
I put my vote in right now. I could eat 1,000 of those!
-Not that kind of pudding. -Oh! This kid's gonna be
-a Kung Fu artist or something. -Those are the Moreno legs.
Little Antonio two is gonna be an athlete.
Daddy, I'm not naming my daughter "Antonio."
-You don't know you're gonna have a girl. -I had a sonogram.
I'll show you how we used to do it back in Cuba.
What are you talking about? You left Cuba when you were ten.
What, I remember some things.
Look, you lay down on the floor, see?
We take an egg, we put it on your belly, -if it rolls off to the right... -Dad, we are not breaking any eggs on my floor.
She's having a girl.
Mm-mm. Not Lucretia.
It's a beautiful name, it was your great grandmother's name.
-She can keep it. -Shut up!
-Can we get back to Christmas plans? -DONNY: Go, go...
-Oh! -DONNY: Yeah!
-JAMIE: Hey! -Now that is what I'm talking about!
-BOTH: Yes! -Yeah!
(ALL CHEERING INDISTINCTLY)
DONNY: It's the replay!
ANTONIO: Move over! Move over, Donny!
-I'm gonna win money... -Are we done?
ANGELA: Ma, don't. It's still broken.
You haven't fixed Angie's disposal?
It's on a list.
Okay, tell me you at least fixed the toilet in 304.
It's a long list.
(SCOFFS) Some manager.
There's a new tenant, and I think it would be really nice if he could flush his toilet more than twice a day.
-(TV SWITCHES OFF) -(DONNY GROANS)
-I ran into the new guy. -ROSE: Oh.
-You have to stop. -Stop what?
Stop what? Stop trying to fix me up.
You know O'Malley's bar? That new guy's redoing the whole place.
Must've bought it.
-A regular entrepreneur. -Nobody's trying to fix you up.
Eight tenants in a row, all single guys.
-Hm, what are the odds? -ANTONIO: Well, it's a studio apartment.
It's not like we're gonna put a family of four in there.
How about an old woman? How about a priest?
ROSE: A priest? Angela, please, be reasonable. A priest can't marry.
I'm perfectly reasonable.
I just want you guys to stop messing with my love life.
What love life?
Okay, she's got a point there. You're not getting any younger.
Look at your sister. Married, pregnant...
You should be so lucky.
For the thousandth time, I am not gonna marry a guy just because he moves into the apartment down the hall.
Now, there's someone out there for me, and I'll know it when I meet him.
ROSE: All right, all right, lay off your sister.
If she wants to live like a spinster and die in this apartment alone with a cat, -that's her business. -(ALL SNICKERING)
Okay, and we will all respect her decision.
-Yes. -ANGELA: That's it! Good night.
Go. Go, go, go.
I don't even have a cat.
Well, at least someone's getting their shopping done early.
No note? No return address?
So, where did you come from?
(MUSIC BOX MUSIC PLAYS)
(CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYS IN DISTANCE)
-GIRL: Merry Christmas! -MAN: Merry Christmas!
MAN: Whoa, heads up!
I didn't see you there.
-Are you all right? -Oh! Yeah.
Where am I?
(PEOPLE SINGING CHRISTMAS CAROLS)
(SLEIGH BELLS RINGING)
You sure you're all right? I didn't hit you with the shovel, did I?
I... I... I'm fine, um...
-Where am I? -You're here.
Yeah, but where is...
I get it. It's a dream. (CHUCKLES)
I don't think so.
Of course you don't, you're part of it. (CHUCKLES)
I mean, we're definitely not in Brooklyn anymore.
What's a Brooklyn?
(CHUCKLES) It's a... a...
Well, there are these five boroughs... (CHUCKLES)
-Let's get you inside. -Okay.
It's nice and cozy at the inn.
My name's Douglas.
I'm Angela. (CHUCKLES)
Some place you got here, Douglas.
DOUGLAS: It's home.
ANGELA: It's perfect.
Now, all that's missing is a...
-CARRIAGE DRIVER: Hi. -WOMAN: Hi And there it is.
-Merry Christmas! -Merry Christmas!
-Merry Christmas! -ANGELA: Too good to be true.
I love this dream.
What was that for?
Kind of puts a kink in your dream theory, huh?
ANGELA: Hmm. I guess you're right.
DOUGLAS: Ouch! (LAUGHS)
-I never said I was dreaming. -ANGELA: Well, who said you were?
-(PEOPLE SINGING) -(PIANO PLAYING)
O Christmas tree O Christmas tree How lovely are
- Thy... -Wow!
...branches O Christmas tree O Christmas tree How lovely are...
Now, this is Christmas!
Hi, everyone! This is Angela.
You'll have to forgive them, dear.
We hardly ever get strangers here.
-I'm Joy. -Oh, I'm so sorry.
I don't mean to intrude. I... I don't...
Nonsense! Everyone is welcome here.
We have a Christmas visitor, everyone.
-Merry Christmas! -Merry Christmas!
ALL: Merry Christmas!
-Merry Christmas! -Merry Christmas!
MARIE: Sorry I'm late.
-The bakery's just so busy today. -Well, isn't it always?
Sure seems like it.
-Who's that? -She just arrived.
This is Angela.
-Very nice to meet you. -Thanks.
-Everyone here's so terrific. -Aren't you sweet?
Yeah, and so into Christmas.
Well...what else would we be?
Angela, would you give me a hand in the kitchen?
This is an amazing kitchen.
Why, thank you.
It always seems to get the job done.
Is that a Christmas goose?
Of course, dear.
I forgot the yams. Would you mind?
Um...no. But where are...
They're in the stove, dear.
The stove? It's empty.
How did this...
Oh, my gosh! Um...
I had no idea you'd be so hungry.
Let me get that for you, dear.
(OVER DOOR CLANGS)
You think we'll need some extra yams as well?
Uh...no, I think we'll be okay.
So, Mary rode on a donkey, and Joseph walked alongside.
And when they got to Bethlehem, they were very, very tired, but there was no room for them at the inn.
-That must've been discouraging. -They should've come here, Angela.
We certainly would've put them up for a night or two.
What happened then?
-It all worked out. -(ALL CHUCKLING)
That's the most wonderful story I've ever heard.
Tell it again.
DOUGLAS: Yeah, tell it one more time!
I'm sure we don't want to hear it again. One of you must have a story.
Well, better hit the old shovel again.
-(ALL LAUGHING) -Good night, all.
Angela, it's really great having you here.
-Bye. -Bye, Douglas!
ALL: Good-bye, Douglas!
You know, um, Douglas was so nice to me I really should say goodnight.
But we already did.
Well...again, you know. Uh... in person. To his face.
Thanks again, everyone.
ALL: Merry Christmas, Angela!
Well, that was pleasant.
-Good cake. -ALL: Mm.
Come on, this place isn't that big.
No, no, no, no!
That was a beautiful dream.
Please, please, give me five more minutes.
(MEAT SLICER WHIRRING)
-You okay? -What?
How much are you planning on slicing?
Crazy dream last night. I didn't get any sleep.
Good crazy or bad crazy?
I dreamed I was in this perfect little Christmas village.
All serene and magical.
One of those dreams where you regret waking up.
-So, there was a guy? -ANGELA: No.
-Well, yeah. -Yeah?
He wasn't like the guys from around here.
This guy was... I don't know.
Classy. A gentleman.
You finally found what you're looking for.
Oh, wait, not real. Hmm!
But if felt so real.
MAN: ...to the house. Yeah, the whole family. It should be great.
I'll take the stairs, thank you.
I saw you through the window. I figured you could use a lift.
Come on, you look beat.
ANGELA: Thank you.
-How was the pizza? -Delicious.
All out for the third floor.
-Thank you. -Let me help you with those.
-I got it. -A lot of groceries for one person.
Just saying if you don't feel like cooking dinner, I got half a leftover pizza at my place.
-Look... -It's good cold.
-I'm sure it is. -And you can eat around
-the pineapple chunks. -Eddie...
-Angela. -…you seem like a really... nice...
-guy. -Yeah, I am.
Yeah, well, it's nothing personal. And it's not you, it's...
It's your address.
(ANGELA CLEARS THROAT)
Oh, Angie! What are you doing here?
I live here.
-What's that behind your back? -Nothing.
What are you measuring?
It's a surprise.
So, I should just put these...
Boy, girl... Frankly, the blue just looks better.
Whoa, I see she's got you carrying the groceries now!
Ma, what's with the colors?
Nothing, I was just thinking some things through.
To the kitchen, just right through...
-ANGELA: What things? -JAMIE: Look out.
ANGELA: A crib?
He's just carrying my groceries!
The crib is for this baby right here.
Yeah, use some sense.
What is it doing here?
What are any of you doing in my apartment?
-Oh, what? You didn't tell her? -Shh!
TV REPORTER: In business news tonight, stocks are surging...
-(TV SWITCHES OFF) -Tell me what?
-(TV SWITCHES ON) -Tell me what, Ma.
Well, we were talking, Gina's gonna have the baby soon and...
-We've outgrown our place. -It's so cramped.
I'm gonna put these down over there.
We're gonna move up here.
TV REPORTER: Okay, well, it's just before...
No! The three of you wouldn't even fit in here with me.
Right, you'd move in to Gina and Jamie's apartment.
Okay, even if I was willing to move, which I am not, you can't afford my apartment.
Well, yeah, that's why we figured you could cover the difference.
Yeah, just until I get a... you know, a job.
What is wrong with you people? Okay, out! Out!
-Out! -Okay, all right!
Okay, I'll... I'll see you later.
If you get a free moment
-and you want to assemble... -Out!
-(GRUNTS ANGRILY) -(LOCK CLICKING)
-(CHUCKLES) -So, I... I should probably...
-Yeah. -(LOCK CLICKING)
-(LOCK CLICKING) -(SIGHS)
I am just gonna forget this day ever happened.
All I need is some sleep.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! I can't believe it worked.
MARIE: Don't fall, Douglas.
-Merry Christmas! -DOUGLAS: Hey!
Marie and I were just skating. Would you like to join us?
Oh, no. I'd be terrible. I've never been.
You've never been skating? Well, in that case, -we won't take no for an answer. -Exactly.
-Here. -Oh, no, you don't have to do that.
Oh, it's fine, Angela. I have to get back to the bakery anyway.
-Are you sure? -Of course!
-Come on! -(CHUCKLES)
MARIE: Don't be afraid, Angela. (CHUCKLES) It's easy.
There, you'll be great.
-(CHOIR SINGING) -And a Happy New Year Have fun!
-what's the deal with you two? -What do you mean? We're friends.
(LAUGHS) Yeah, friends-friends or friends?
(LAUGHS) You're funny.
Come on, let's get you out on the ice.
DOUGLAS: Steady, steady. Oh! Easy now. (CHUCKLES)
Hey, this isn't that hard.
Okay, spoke too soon. (GIGGLES)
You just have to relax and glide, okay?
So, you go...
Push and glide.
Right, push and glide.
-(ANGELA SHRIEKING) -DOUGLAS: There you go.
Look at me! (GIGGLING)
DOUGLAS: There you go. Good job.
Now, just one in front of the other. That's right. (LAUGHS)
Oh, hey, Merry Christmas!
-WOMAN: Merry Christmas! -Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas, guys.
-Merry Christmas. -Oh, wait... wait right here.
(GASPS) Oh, Douglas!
Thank you, but, um...
I didn't get you anything.
Well, the store's still open.
-(LAUGHS) Merry Christmas! -Thanks!
Oh! Earmuffs! Great!
Mittens! Douglas, they're lovely.
-They fit! -(GASPS WITH LAUGHTER)
These do too! (LAUGHS)
Oh, Gerald is doing a really great job on the tree.
Snow's piling up. Better get back to work.
Oh, my gosh!
Oh, my gosh!
And the people are polite and friendly, and don't interrupt you and get snarky ever.
And the snow... (SIGHS)
The snow is just white and fluffy.
And never gets hard and dirty and nasty like it does over here.
And then... then Douglas gives me the most beautiful mittens.
And I'm thinking, "Oh, my God! Huh!
I must be dreaming." Right?
Well, when I woke up, I still had the mittens on!
Isn't that the craziest thing you've ever heard?
Angela...Ang... you are my good, good friend, and I care so much for you.
And the holidays, they can really just take a toll on a person.
But I swear to you, when they're over I'm gonna take you to that nice relaxing spa we found online.
Who needs a spa? I've still got the mittens.
Last night I took a walk in the snow Woohoo!
Couples holding hands, places to go… Merry Christmas!
Seems like everyone but me is in love Santa, can you hear me?
I signed my letter That I sealed with a kiss I sent it off, and just said this
"I know exactly what I want this year Santa, can you hear me?"
I want my baby, baby I want someone to love me Someone to hold
-Maybe, maybe -Maybe, maybe You'll be all my own in a big red bow Santa, can you hear me?
I have been so good this year And all I want is one thing Tell me my true love is here He's all I want, just for me Underneath my Christmas tree I'll be waiting here Santa, that's my only wish this year… Oh, my God!
I hope my letter reaches you in time Oh, yeah Bring me a love, I can call all mine Oh, yeah
'Cause I have been so good So good this year… It's easy. You try.
Can't be alone, under mistletoe He's all I want in a big red bow...
Santa, can you hear me?
I have been so good this year
-And all I want is one thing -Yeah, yeah, yeah Tell me my true love is near He's all I want, just for me Underneath... -Hi.
My Christmas tree I'll be waiting here Santa, that's my only wish this year Oh, Santa Well, he's all I want, just for me Underneath my Christmas tree I'll be waiting here...
That's my only wish this year Oh, wait, there's something else.
-WOMEN: Aww! -Look at the material!
WOMAN: So soft.
GINA: I wish Angela could see this. She'd love it.
WOMAN: Look at that!
GINA: And this one is from...
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -MAN: I wish a you Merry Christmas.
So, Douglas, we've been spending a lot of time together and...
MAN 2: Sure enough, it all came out as planned.
I'm here! I'm here.
Well, well, well.
So nice of you to join us.
Lost track of time.
Been doing that a lot lately, haven't you?
-Ma, please. -"Ma, please"?
You missed your sister's baby shower.
Come on. Like she even noticed.
There were what... half a dozen aunts and cousins plus her friends.
But you are her only sister, aren't you?
What's going on, Angela?
You're late for work, you...you don't show up for dinner.
Been busy. That's all.
It's Christmas. Got things to do.
-Ma, let me help. -I don't need your help.
-(SIGHS) -(DOOR CLOSES)
-Oh, hey. -Let me.
No, I got it, thanks. Thank you.
What you got there?
Uh...some plans. (CHUCKLES)
Drawings for this bar that I'm...
My uncle told me about O'Malley's, yeah.
I can't wait to check it out when it's open.
You'll have to thank your uncle for the promotion.
Actually, I'm just kind of... sort of rejiggering the space.
You a contractor?
Wow. Go to school for that?
Uh, more self-taught, really.
-(LAUGHS) How about... how about you? -Me?
Oh, I'm just plain frustrated.
I got you pegged for somebody with big plans.
-You're going places. -You got that right.
Not to your sister's place, I hope.
-No. -That's good.
Your family seems nice and all, but...
-Yeah, they're all right. -Yeah, right.
Well, if you ever need a hideout, they'll never think to look for you at the bar.
Maybe another time.
Yeah, sure, sure.
See you around.
-MAN: There you go. Thank you. -Merry Christmas!
-Here, I can grab that. -I got it, I got it.
You're working for two people. I got it.
-Hey, Claire. -Donny.
Tell me something. You and Angie hang out.
Where's she always disappearing to lately?
I mean, like, no place crazy or strange.
You know. Next!
Angela, what's the matter? Don't you see the tree?
Yeah, I see it.
I'm just... I'm having family problems.
Oh, you want them to see the tree.
No, I want them to just let me breathe.
So, you can enjoy the tree.
Douglas, this is not tree-related in any way.
-Wanna go skating? -No.
I gotta get home soon. My family's expecting me for dinner.
-But you said you wanted... -I do, it's just...
Sometimes I... I think I'm so close to... to seeing what it is I want to be.
What I'm supposed to do with my life, and then...
Poof! It's gone.
Don't you ever feel that horrible frustration like you can't quite figure it all out?
Sometimes I try to count all the lights on the tree, but it's impossible to see every single bulb.
So, what do you do?
I walk around to the other side, and I count the rest.
Three hundred eighty-two.
That's how many lights. Three hundred eighty-two.
You know, I think you're on to something.
I have every right to... to look at my life from a different angle, don't I?
You are so smart!
-Well. -You wait here.
Wait... Wait, where are you going?
I'm just gonna tell them that I won't be home for dinner.
Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back.
-Hey, there she is! -What's with all this?
This is family dinner, Angela. Perhaps you remember them?
In my apartment?
-Oh, not for long. -Yeah, taking a test drive.
Hey, she was in the bedroom the whole time?
-I told you to check. -I did! What am I, Columbo?
Well, she's here now. Angie, baby, come on. Take a seat.
I can't. I'm not staying.
What do you mean you're not staying?
Angie, baby, this is company. Come on, sit down.
I'd hardly call you guys company.
Oh, Daddy's not talking about us.
-(KNOCKING AT DOOR) -ROSE: I'll get it.
-Hi! -Hi, how are you?
I'm good. I'm good, thank you. Hi, everyone!
ALL: Hey! Hey!
-Come on in. -Hi.
Mom, I need to talk to you for a second.
After we eat. Why don't you take a seat?
-But I... -Sit.
-Eddie, I believe you know my husband. -Yes.
-(GRUNTS HAPPILY, CHUCKLES) -Oh!
-And this is Donny, Gina, and Jamie. -Hey.
-And of course Angela. -Yes.
Rose, are we gonna eat or what?
-Yes, I'll get the food. -You know, I should help. (CHUCKLES)
So, Ed, have some garlic bread?
-Yes, that would be great. -No, no, Daddy.
Not the garlic bread. The kissing.
ANGELA: Mom, what are you doing?
You can't just be inviting guys over here.
Well, somebody has to look out for your future.
-I thought you were mad at me. -I am mad at you, but I'm your mother.
-Now, get out there! -Hm.
He seems like such a nice young man.
ANGELA: Doesn't mean I want to go out with him.
ROSE: Why are you so pessimistic? You haven't even kissed him yet.
-ANGELA: Mom! -Nice plates.
ROSE: I want you to be happy!
-Nice wine, Ed. -Oh, thanks.
ANGELA: Did you ever think that maybe I might have plans?
I like your... your beer cozies.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, Gina made 'em.
(CHUCKLES) I'm nesting.
Basta! Shh. It's just a little family dinner.
Bring the salad!
Here we go. Oh, I almost dropped it.
So, Eddie, how do you like that big new apartment of yours?
Seems like a lot of space for just one person.
Yeah, you could fit a whole family in there.
EDDIE: It's very nice, thank you.
I hope you put new locks on the door.
-Uh, two, actually. -Hmm.
Might want to pick up two more.
Eddie, I really hate to say this to you, and in front of my whole family.
I mean, I just met you and everything.
Just... just say it.
-I'm gonna kick your butt. -(CHEERING)
Go ahead! Go ahead, take your turn!
-Don't rush me! -Put the money where the mouth is.
-Come on! -All right.
-DONNY: Make it happen. -EDDIE: All right.
Come on, Angie. You could do it.
Hey, loser does the dishes.
-That'd be you. You were first out. -Let her concentrate.
Come on, Angie.
-ALL: Oh! -ANTONIO: Winner!
-Winner and new champion. -New game, right now.
We set up a new game
-and that one does the dishes. -Get your apron on and do the dishes.
Oh, no, no, no I don't want him near my new china.
She doesn't want me to do the dishes.
But you can do the pots.
I can't do them. I got delicate hands.
Do the pots!
-JAMIE: Stay? -DONNY: Stay.
-ROSE: Stay. -You know, in three minutes, you'll have broken the record.
Most guys don't make it the first hour.
-GINA: Yeah! -Yeah!
-Well, I'm having a pretty good time. -(CHUCKLES)
You know, uh...me too.
Now, you realize we got a pretty big problem here.
-What's that? -Well...
Your family is the one that set this little... thing up tonight.
So, unless we're careful, they will invite me back.
That's a problem, all right. (LAUGHS)
Or maybe not.
-Merry Christmas. -Douglas?
I thought you checked the bedroom.
-Who's Douglas? -Hi, I'm Angela's boyfriend.
Keeping secrets from your mother?
-Is he from the neighborhood? -When did you get a boyfriend?
You was in this bedroom the whole time?
All right, now, can you guys give us a minute?
Oh, this must be terribly awkward for you.
So, when do you think you could move out?
How did you get out?
Well, you didn't come back, so, I just kept walking, and then I was here.
I... I can't believe it.
-You come and go all the time. -Yeah, but I'm real... real happy that you're here.
Me too. I want to see everything. Your bakery, your inn, your pond, the whole thing.
And I want to meet your family. Was that them?
I hope they haven't gone far.
I don't think we have to worry about that.
I'm Douglas. Merry Christmas.
Uh, where's Eddie?
He had some things he had to take care of.
Where did Angela find you?
Oh, we met when Angela came to visit.
-When did you go anywhere? -Uh...
Douglas is from...Vermont.
When did you ever go to Vermont?
That isn't important. He's here now.
-Try to be nice. -Excuse me.
What are you thinking?
You just bring home some guy we've never met?
Ma, how are you supposed to meet them if I don't bring them home?
We don't know anything about this Mr. Earmuffs.
Right, because unlike everybody else, he didn't have to fill out a four-page questionnaire to get into the building.
Those are rental applications.
How many building managers require a complete dating history?
What are you talking about, a steam shovel? Like in construction?
A steam shovel? What is this, the roaring '20s?
No, it's just a regular shovel.
And so you what? You... you dig ditches?
ANTONIO: That pay well?
You can make a living at that?
DOUGLAS: Not ditches. Snow.
-But I don't get paid... -Hey!
Come on, give him some room!
Douglas, you don't have to answer any questions. You're my guest.
-Oh, I don't mind... -Oh, no answers.
Uh, now if you'll excuse us, Douglas and I are going to... go for a walk.
-Time to show him around the big city. -Oh, good!
ANGELA: Come on. All right, okay.
Just the two of us.
Holy cow! This is incredible!
-It's almost like we're outside. -We are outside.
Then where's the snow?
-What is that? -That's a fire hydrant.
Wow. What's that?
That's a mailbox.
-Look out! -(HORN HONKING)
And that would be a car.
Just hear those sleigh bells jingling Ring ting-aling-aling too...
DOUGLAS: Look at the lights!
-Isn't it nice? -Yeah, nice.
Outside the snow is falling...
Oh, look up there!
-Ring-aling-aling-a-ding-dong-ding -Come on it's lovely weather...
Oh, look at the Christmas trees!
Our cheeks are nice and rosy And comfy and cozy are we Ring-aling-aling-a-ding-dong-ding!
We're snuggled up together Like birds of a feather...
Thank you. All right.
Watch out, there's mustard on it.
...it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you Can you eat it? No, no, this way.
-ANGELA: Good? Good? -Mm.
I don't know him.
Merry Christmas! I'm Douglas. This is Angela.
-Douglas? -I'm Douglas.
Hey, Merry Christmas, guys. Do you know Angela?
-Douglas. -MAN: Yeah, whatever.
Please, this is not the snow globe.
-Never mind. -MAN ON BIKE: Comin' through!
Just don't talk to strangers, okay?
ANGELA: (CHUCKLING) Put your foot here.
Oh, come on. No, it's fun. It's fun. Yeah!
-Put your foot here. No, no, no, no. -No, I can't.
Come on. Don't be afraid.
-One time. -Okay.
This is fun. There you go.
Stand up. Yeah.
Lots of snow and ice Everywhere we go Okay, see that? Stand up. Stand up.
Here, now pick up your foot.
All these things and more There you go!
-All these things and more -That's what Christmas means to me my love Claire!
I want you to meet Douglas.
-Douglas? -You know, Douglas.
Merry Christmas, Claire.
Uh... Merry Christmas.
Well, we gotta go.
Like you've never seen before Excuse me, do you carry snow globes?
Come on, you can do it.
Will touch my heart for sure
-DOUGLAS: Look at all those presents. -ANGELA: Yeah, it's nice.
Christmas means to me, my love...
Christmas means to me, my love...
Christmas means to me, my love...
Christmas means to me My love
I'll just... I'll go around that way.
Though I love you madly Hey!
Get back here!
Douglas! He doesn't know.
That's what Christmas means to me, My love Christmas means to me, my love Christmas means to me, my love
-(DOUGLAS GROANS) -ANGELA: Hey!
Merry Christmas to you too.
DOUGLAS: But why?
Because that's just not how it's done here, okay?
-Merry Christmas. Change? -Oh, thanks. Merry Christmas!
-(SIGHS) -Wow, that was great.
-(DOOR CLOSES) -ANGELA: Must be kind of overwhelmed.
What do you mean?
I mean when I first came to visit you, it blew my mind.
And your village is, well, tiny.
You? You just discovered this whole other world.
Yeah, I guess.
You guess? (SCOFFS)
Aren't you having an existential crisis or something?
Uh... yeah, I'm having one of those.
And I loved that hot dog.
Well, go on and make yourself at home while I... change into something a little more comfortable.
Is it almost bedtime?
-I guess it is. -Oh, goody!
All right, so things aren't going as well as you'd hoped.
But he's perfect in so many ways.
Well, some... some ways.
You can still make this work.
(ROMANTIC JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS)
-(HORN HONKING IN DISTANCE) -ANGELA: Sleep well?
Like a... a log.
-I'll say. -So... what are we doing today?
Well, I've got to get to work.
You're gonna have to keep yourself entertained for a while.
Okay. Where do you keep your shovel?
Okay, this controls the TV. Power, channel, volume.
This is the phone.
Work is on speed dial. All you have to do is hit three.
This controls the DVD.
Now, if you want to use it, put the TV on channel 3, okay?
Uh, better forget about the TV.
There's the microwave over there, if you get hungry.
Use it to warm things up.
Just don't put any metal in it.
Oh, and no jars and no eggs.
You know what? Better just leave it alone.
There are take-out menus in the drawer next to the stove.
Just pick up the phone. tell 'em what you want and...
You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?
Hey. Oh, hey. What's up?
Eddie, this is gonna sound really, uh...
Well, really weird.
But, um, you've met Douglas, right?
I shouldn't be asking you this, I know.
But everyone's out and I gotta be at work, like, ten minutes ago.
I really need you... to watch Douglas.
He's new to, well, everything.
I wouldn't ask, but I'm afraid to leave him alone.
You want me to babysit your boyfriend?
No... no... yes.
More like hang out. Can you? At least until I can track down Jamie.
If he tries to use the toaster, the whole building could go up.
What is he? Is he, like, challenged, or something?
Eddie, don't make me beg.
-Oh, what the hell. -Oh, my God! You're a lifesaver.
See you later.
EDDIE: So, how did you and Angela meet?
DOUGLAS: Oh, she came to my village.
EDDIE: Village? So, you're not much of a city boy then?
What are these big guys called?
You and Angela have a lot in common, I guess.
We love caroling and decorating trees and building snowmen.
All the usual stuff. You know... sometimes when we're skating, I put my arm around her.
So, are you, like, really rich or something?
-Frusdorfer! -ANGELA: Ash. Do we have an Ash?
-One veggie! -Merry Christmas.
Thank you, Mr. Frusdorfer.
King, one meat lasagna.
Tarantino, two meat lasagnas.
-Here you are. Enjoy. -MAN: Thank you.
-Isabella, here you go. Merry Christmas. -Thanks. Same to you.
Strasport, two meat.
This tickles my nose.
Put that back, please.
-"Scotch." -EDDIE: That's right.
Glenlee 15-year-old single malt scotch.
No, no, it's... a little different from butterscotch.
-Where are you from? -Oh, I thought I told you.
-The village. -Oh, that village. Okay.
Well, I happen to know for a fact they got scotch over there.
So, where in the village?
These questions aren't that hard, Doug.
-WOMAN: Thank you. -Good night.
It's Christmas Eve. Can't we close early?
Go on, get out of here. I think I can handle it.
Besides, you got a man waiting for you.
-Mm! You're the best! -I know.
Good night. Merry Christmas, you.
Thanks, Claire. Merry Christmas.
-Where's Douglas? I thought... -Jamie came, finally, -and took him home a while ago. -Oh.
Well... thanks for, uh...
-you know. -We went to the zoo.
(CHUCKLES) I bet that was different.
-Place looks great. -Thanks.
We open New Year's Eve.
Bet you're excited.
(SIGHS) Well... I should be going.
Christmas Eve. Big night with the family.
And Douglas, yeah.
Can't let you go without trying this.
What is it?
Come on. Give it a taste.
Frustrated bartender, too?
You could say that.
It's like a Christmas tree... on fire.
Eggnog and cinnamon schnapps. I figured it'd be right up your alley.
Feeling merrier already.
You like Christmas.
(CHUCKLES) Love it.
See, to me, it's just stress.
Looking for the perfect tree, the perfect presents, trying for some ideal you could never reach.
There is a perfect Christmas. I've seen it.
-God, I hope not. -Why?
'Cause then what?
End of the road, no more struggle?
You like to struggle.
I'm good at it.
You're good at eggnog. I'll give you that.
Try this variation on the theme.
What, did you change your recipe?
-Why, it was... -Perfect?
This one's perfect too.
Mm. Oh, my God.
What is that?
Perfection, Angela, comes in many flavors.
TV COMMENTATOR: And so, here we are, setting up.
-There he goes with a fake hand-off. -I still don't get it.
-It's football. What's not to get? -Where is he running?
He's trying to get a... touchdown. How do you not know football?
-Then what happens? -Then the other team tries.
-When do we get to try? -We don't.
They play, we watch. That's how it goes.
TV COMMENTATOR: It's second and ten, he cuts back to pass, throws to Dwight.
Oh, and he's sacked. Loses the ball.
This is boring.
Let's go ice skating.
-You want to decorate a tree? -No.
-You want to... -No.
Do you have a shovel?
-When's Angela coming home? -Not soon enough.
What the heck was that?
TV COMMENTATOR: With a... Oh, with a good block by number 14.
How many people she got back there?
Sing we joyous, all together Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
-Those aren't even words. -Sing!
I think you got the singing covered.
- Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la -All right, Rudolph.
Let's bring it in for a landing, shall we?
Mm. I had a lot of fun.
Yeah, me too. Me too.
Thanks... for everything.
You're shivering. Are you cold?
I feel nice and toasty.
It's just... I don't know.
You make me a little...
-(DOOR OPENS) -Angela, wh...
Okay, uh, yeah, why don't you invite your boyfriend inside to meet your other boyfriend and his other girlfriend.
We've been together forever, and you just up and leave without so much as a goodbye?
-No, no, Marie, you don't understand. -(SCOFFS)
Well, well, well.
Look who it is, little miss
"come to my town, steal my boyfriend while we're ice skating
“and then leave and have him follow you home".
I thought you said you and Marie were just friends.
Of course Marie's my friend.
You're my friend.
Eddie here is my friend.
-Yeah, me, not so much. -(MARIE SCOFFS)
Douglas, I was your only girlfriend until she came and took you.
I didn't take him. He just escaped on his own.
Marie, why don't we go some place where you and I can go talk.
Jamie, can you keep Douglas company?
No. Jamie is helping me with dinner. Let's get out of here.
Oh, yeah, that's right! You heard the lady.
You know, a lot of dicing and chopping. 'Cause, Doug, you and me otherwise...
Let me guess.
She's from the village too.
How did you know?
-(MARIE SCOFFS) -(DOOR CLOSES)
Marie, I need to explain.
Oh, I don't need an explanation.
Of course Douglas wants to be with you. You have all this.
-How am I supposed to compete with this? -With my clock radio?
It's a radio too?
Look... I made a mistake.
You and Douglas belong together. You know that.
Douglas and I don't belong together.
And deep down, all things being relative, Douglas knows that too.
Now, we need to get you both back in the snow globe.
What do you mean back in the snow globe?
Is that my bakery?
And the inn.
Are you some kind of...
What have you done?
So... how about them Giants?
-Giants? -No way!
-Marie, be reasonable. -What's going on?
(STAMMERING) She wants us to go back in there!
You can do that? Send us back home?
Yes! I think so.
Douglas, I don't want to go back in there.
-And neither do you. -Oh, yes, I do.
What the heck are you guys talking about?
Just trust me on this one. You don't want to know.
All right, just look at it for a sec.
-(MUSIC BOX MUSIC PLAYS) -(STAMMERING) Douglas...don't.
ANGELA: Oh, my gosh!
What's going on?
(CROWD GASPING AND GROANING)
ANGELA: What happened?
ANGELA: Oh! Oh, no! No, no!
No, this can't be! No!
Hey! Can anybody hear me?
-MAN: I love this sculpture. Look at that! -WOMAN: I love it.
MAN: It's different. Very Christmassy.
-(GRUNTS) -(SPRING CLANGS)
This is so not good.
EDDIE: Where did Angela go?
You see, um… I told her I didn't want to go back in the snow globe.
What do you mean back in... the snow globe?
-I think it's broken. -Yeah, you think?
-(DOOR OPENS) -All right, hurry up already!
Christmas party downstairs.
-She left. -In the bedroom.
She left from the bedroom.
(SCOFFS) Okay, you know what, I don't want to know.
Okay, Mom sent me up here to get people. You're people. Let's go.
-ROSE: Feet off the table. -Hey, what?
-(DOOR OPENS) -Thank you, Rosie, baby.
That looks great.
-Where's Angela? -Oh, missing as usual.
But her boyfriend's still here.
And get this... he's got a girlfriend.
Hey! Hey, everybody! We've got problems.
ALL: Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas, Angela.
Oh, great. Let me guess.
Mittens? Ear muffs? (SNICKERS) Hey! Wow! Mittens!
Sheldon, you shouldn't have.
And let's see what you have.
Ear muffs, wow!
Mittens! Ear muffs! Mittens!
Oh, and let's see this.
Mittens and ear muffs!
Hah! Wow! What a lucky girl you are!
Don't you ever get sick of it?
Well, it's the thought that counts.
What thought? It's always the same!
I don't think there's any need to shout.
Of course there is, it's Christmas!
How could you have Christmas without any shouting?
ALL: Merry Christmas!
GUESTS: Merry Christmas!
-Joy, I've got a problem. -Oh, Angela, it's Christmas.
-What could possibly be the problem? -I think I'm in trouble.
Douglas and Marie followed me home. Well, technically she followed him.
But they both ended up at my place and I tried to get them to come back, but somehow, something happened and they ended up there, and I'm stuck here.
Stuck? Angela, I thought you liked it here.
Haven't you ever heard the expression, "It's nice place to visit, but I'm trapped in a freaking snow globe"?
Trapped? Oh, Angela, how could you possibly feel trapped here?
But nothing's real!
Oh, good! I think everybody's just about ready to eat.
You're always so very hungry.
All right, dear. I think you've made your point.
ANGELA: Oh, brother!
All right, I've got one. Uh...
-Two words. -Christmas tree.
Wow, you're good at this.
-Oh, for the love of Pete. -You did that the last time.
You gotta pick something other than Christmas tree.
Oh. (LAUGHS) All right. Uh...
Okay. Okay, I've got one.
All right, my turn.
Rose, when are we gonna eat?
When Angela gets here. It's Christmas dinner.
And we are not eating until we're all together.
-Is it a Christmas tree? -No, it's not a Christmas tree!
(CLEARS THROAT) Angela, can you hear me?
Well, this is ridiculous.
What am I doing?
Come... on... you stupid... snow... globe!
Oh, Joy, hey.
Sorry about making a scene before.
Oh, that's all right.
Everyone's already forgotten.
I just wanted to come out and make sure
-that you were okay. -Yeah, sure.
I guess things just aren't the same without Douglas here.
It's not just Douglas. It's everything.
I mean, look around.
It's everything I dreamed Christmas could be.
-But... -But it's too much.
I may just have just one Christmas. And yeah, my family's gonna screw it up.
They always do.
But it's mine.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Are you certain?
I mean, there's always next year, right?
I think I know what you mean.
Excuse me. I'm looking for an Angela Moreno.
-I think. -Go on, open it.
How did you...
JOY: Everyone's looking for the perfect Christmas, Angela.
We have ours.
Go find yours.
Have a nice... Well, you know.
We always do.
Same to you.
Merry Christmas, Angela.
Merry Christmas, Angela.
(MUSIC BOX MUSIC PLAYS)
I'm gonna get you out of there, Angela.
ANGELA: I'd rather you didn't make a mess in my kitchen.
So, I hear the neighbors are having this little Christmas party.
Wanna crash it?
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
DONNY: Now we can eat!
-Hey, Eddie! -You're back!
ANTONIO: Sit down.
-You come here. Merry Christmas! -ROSE: Thank goodness!
-Hey, Eddie. -Hi, how are you?
-Good to see you. -Sit down.
GINA: I'll get an extra plate.
The snow globe, I think it broke.
Yeah, is everything okay?
-You guys ready to go home? -Yes.
The sooner you sit, the sooner we eat.
(SIGHS) Oh, I can't wait. I've been looking forward to this.
Come on. (GIGGLES)
I know you've been wanting a traditional Christmas dinner, so I figured this year we might as well have it the way you want it!
Uh... oh... a goose.
I was kind of looking forward to Christmas lasagna.
I put it in the stuffing.
That's what I'm talking about!
She's so creative.
He's never seen Jell-O.
He needs to take some home.
GINA: Mind your own business!
ANGELA: We'll replace the broken stuff.
EDDIE: That's great.
-Merry Christmas, Marie. -Thank you, Angela.
MARIE: Good bye, Angela.
(MUSIC BOX MUSIC PLAYS)
ANGELA: Here we go.
Home, sweet home.
Oh, it's wonderful.
That's nothing. Look at this!
Let's go to the inn and show everybody!
Well... actually, I was thinking maybe we could go to the bakery.
There's no one at the bakery right now.
DOUGLAS: Wow! That was better than skating.
Ma, please. I think you're overreacting.
Ma, we're not trying to avoid the family.
Of course we'll be there for Christmas.
Anything you want is fine.
Okay, well, we'll see you tomorrow.
I love you too.
-Everything okay? -(ANGELA SIGHS)
She's so melodramatic.
Ever since I moved out, she's terrified we'll never see them again and that we're gonna miss the big family Christmas.
-We're not gonna miss it, are we? -(CHUCKLES) No such luck.
I'm terrified to see what Gina whipped up.
(LAUGHS) Well, at least you're making dessert, right?
You know, I totally forgot to tell her. Hang on.
Don't forget to tell Gina that I'm bringing dessert.
All right, sweetie. See you tomorrow.
What time is it?
Know what, I gotta get going. I'm gonna be late for work.
All right. Have a good one.
Hey, sorry I'm late.
What else is new.
Looks like they're getting pretty restless out there.
-ANGELA: Merry Christmas. -CLAIRE: Welcome.