Spider (2002) Script

% Over the mountains %

% And over the waves %

% Under the fountains %

% And under the graves %

% Under floods that are deepest %

% Which neptune obey %

% Over rocks that are steepest %

% Love will find out the way %

% Where there is no place %

% For the glowworm to lie %

% Where there is no place %

% For receipt of a fly %

% Where the midge does not venture %

% Lest herself fast she lay %

% If love come he will enter %

% And so find out his way %

% You may esteem him %

% A child for his light %

% For you may deem him %

% A coward from flight %

% But if she who loved and honored %

% Become sealed from the day %

% Set a thousand gods upon her %

% Love will find out the way %%

...central park.


It's down there, isn't it?

It's down there, i think.

Let me see, uh, what it says. What's it say?

What's this say? Um, peggy street, um.

Miss...miss wil-Wilkinson.

Oh. Mr. Cleg, i presume.

I'm mrs. Wilkinson.

Come in. We've been expecting you.

Wait here, mr. Cleg, while i fetch me keys.

Good evening to you, sir.

You're familiar with the scorpion, i take it?

No. No.

Not from africa, then?

I had you down as an old africa hand.



Now, there's a dark continent for you.

I knew a man once who had been told, Never to go barefoot because of the...


Gettin' acquainted with the residents, mr. Cleg?

Good. This is terrence.

But i'm afraid we are not to be trusted.

Are we, terrence? Now...

Let's get you upstairs And out of those wet things.

Got out of bed in the middle of the night, Put his shoes on...

Put his shoes on, Stung by a scorpion, Sleeping in one of the toe caps.

Died in agony.

17 hours.


Take these, mr. Cleg.

Come on.

Your room, mr. Cleg.

What, not undressed yet?


Very well then, mr. Cleg.

I'll leave you to your own devices.

Kitchener street.

Spleen street.

Omdurman close.

The allotments By the railway... by the railway...

And down the canal.

And down the canal.

Kitchener street.

My mum.

Wakey, wakey, mr. Cleg.

Not in bed, please.

I trust you slept well, sir.

Uh, the bedding in this house Has a curious, uh... character.

But one does grow...

Used to it after just a few years.

I...i...i will not...

I will not be here that long.

Nor did i expect to be, but...

It is a loud world, And this is an island.

But an island, sir, Ruled by a tyrant queen, Who has the power to send any one of us Back to where we came from.

The asylum, i mean.

Terrence, waxing already?

Perhaps you'd share your thoughts with me sometime.

Mr. Cleg.

How many shirts are you wearing?

1, 2, 3, 4!

Now, really, is this absolutely necessary?

Oh, indeed it is, madam.

Clothes maketh the man.


The less there is of the man, The more the need for clothes.

My mum...



It's the...

Wing of... wing of a seagull.


Could have gone nowhere else.

Are you making progress?

What you doing?

Making something.

Making something.

Aren't you clever.

You're so good with your hands.

It's for you.

It's for you. It's for you.



You run down the dog. There's a good boy, And tell your father his dinner's on the table.

It's not on the table.

It's not on the table.

Well, it will be by the time you get him out of that pub.

Don't go out the front. I just done them steps.

Who's this then?

Handsome little fella, ain't ya?

I've come for me dad.

Not here, is he?

You showed him!

I can't believe she done that.

Oh, look at his little face.

Bless him.

Leave him alone.

Evening, bill. Evening, ernie.

The usual?

Yeah. Cheers, mate.





Now, don't you say a word.

Well, It was different when i was a girl.

We lived out in the country then.


I remember how i'd go across the fields in the morning...

And i'd see the webs in the trees.

Like clouds of muslin, they were.

What, spiders' webs?

Spiders' webs.

Of course spiders' webs.

Who else makes webs?

And then, when i got close,

I'd see that there wasn't muslin at all.

They were wheels.

Great big shining wheels.

And you know what else?


If you knew where to look, You could find the spider's egg bags.

Perfect little things, they were.

Tiny little silk pockets she made...

To put her eggs in.

What happened to her after she laid her eggs?

You like this bit, don't you?

She just crawled away without looking back once.

And then she died?

Her work was done.

She had no more silk left.

She was all dried up and empty.

Dried up and...

You ready then?

As ready as i'll ever be.

And you, you guard the house, All right?

Oh. Oh, wait.

What about later?

Oh, that's nice, billy.

Come on, let's go have a drink now.

Evening, bill.

What'll you have then?

Gin and orange for me, billy.

Evening, bill. Evening, ernie.

Uh, pint of bitter, please, and a gin and... gin and orange for the missus.

Gin and orange.

I'd seen more meat on a butcher's apron.

Nice felt, that.

He started having a sherman right in front of me.

I says to him, "If that's the best you can do, you wanna take that up west.

See what smart people have to say about it."

Gettin' an eyeful, are ya?

It's that fat tart, yvonne wilkinson.

Cheers, eddie.


Fat tart...

Yvonne wilkinson.

Gin and orange.

Don't drink so fast, bill.

Fancy another one?

No, i'm not ready for another one yet.

Turns to me and says, "nora, no rush."

So the man comes to nora. She's into him right away.

Next thing she's got half of london dock all over her.

She's standing there laughing. "What are you laughing at?" I said.

"I'm drying meself off, like.

I'm with you," she says. "Look at him.

More like tom thumb."

"Tom thumb?" I says.

"What about... what about tiny tim?"

How we laughed.

Now his dad, that's another story.

He was a right little towel rag. I won't let him near me.

He told me he's there, i says... i says, "I got the decorators in, you know what i mean?"

Yvonne wilkinson.

She made the first move.

Oh, for god's sake, stop crying!

It was your own fault.

Inside, now!

You big baby.




I'm the plumber. I believe you've got trouble with your pipes.



Don't tread on the cats.

It's in there.

Is that the plumber?

Hello, yvonne.

Hear that? We get that all day.

All bloody day.

Don't we, nora?

All bloody day.

You want air in those pipes.

We got air.

Bad air.

Bad air.

Can't you smell it?

Yeah, but it's coming from your lavatory, isn't it?

I sincerely hope so.

Shocking, the state of the plumbing in this place.

You gonna do me pipes or what?

I had a letter from that Sophia loren this morning.

Oh, yeah?


What she want then?

The usual thing.

What? The old... you know.

Exactly right.

They're all the same.

All the same.

Still, you know, what... what can you expect, really?

Mind you, them frenchies know a thing or 2.

I should say. Knew a frenchie once with 3 tits.

Get away.

I swear to god.

One here, one here, and one here.

Well, you do surprise me.

She was a lovely girl. Come from manchester.

You said a frenchie.

Well, that was a different one, you know.

My mother had 3 tits.

A lovely woman, your mother.

She did like a sailor.

She loved a sailor, my mom.

Down to me, that was.

How's that then?

Every time i smoke a fag, My mum...

Has it off with a sailor.

Well, y-You smoke all the time.

Well, that's what i'm sayin'.


Hello there, connor. Good to see you.

Hello, plumber.

What'd you say your name was?

Now don't tell me.


Always been one of my favorites.

I had a cat called bill once.

Nippy out, eh? Glad i got me fur.

Do you like my fur?

I got it at the market, didn't i. Secondhand.

Still, what isn't these days?

I'm a bit secondhand meself.

But you don't mind that, do you, bill?

You like that, don't you?

A bit of secondhand?

Lovely job you did on them pipes.

Barely a squeak out of them now.

Smell didn't go away, though.

Come on, plumber.

Let's have ya.

You do my pipes, And i'll do you.


Oh, do you like that?


What's this?

Oh, plumber. Oh.

Hurry up, bill. I'm bloody freezing.

I'm stopping here for a bit.

Suit yourself.

I'm going back up to the dog.

I went down to salisbury for a drink.

Can't a man go for a drink after his work?

I won't live like this. I wasn't meant to live like this.

Yeah, well, it's not my fault.

Oh, yes, it is.

No, it bloody isn't.

It's all right, spider. Your father and me, We're just... having a talk.

You woke me up.

It's all right now.

We're all coming up to bed now.

Come on, big spider.

Let's go on up.

Look what i've bought.

Think your dad'll like it?


It doesn't fit here.

It doesn't fit. It's not gonna fit here.

It's not gonna... it doesn't fit.

You will pick it all up, mr. Cleg.

Every single piece!


Yeah, hello?

Gas works got you, have they?

I'm not surprised.

Nasty stuff, gas.

I knew a man once, Put his head in a gas oven...

And turned on the gas.

And then he changed his mind.

But, His head was stuck.

I smell... i smell gas.

Yeah, i smell... gas.



Gas. I smell... gas.

It's gas, isn't it?

I only said it'd be nice to stay in for a change.

Just the 2 of us.

Wouldn't it, eh, billy?

No, it bloody wouldn't.

I'm sick of this house.


Oh, spider.

Large scotch.

Comin' up.

She's off.

Where's she going?

So, plumber, Feelin' better tonight, are we?

Why don't you, uh...

Why don't you come down to the allotments?

Down the allotments? When?

Well, i'm heading off now.

Why don't you come down in a bit?

All right, plumber. Don't mind if i do.

It's spilt. What do you think you're doing?

No, no, no.

All right, plumber. Don't mind if i do.

All right, plumber. Don't mind if i do.

You know what?

I'm going out, spider.

I'm gonna meet your father.

Yes, all right.

Oh, shit! Ow!


Are you all right then?

I am now. Look at that.

You took a terrible fall right there.

I've got it. I've got it. Take the fucking things off.

I'm all right.

Oh. You all right?

I will be in a minute.

I bet you will.

Oh. This way.

You gonna take me right in there, are you?

Gonna take you right in there. Oh, yeah, i got something to show you.

Oh, isn't it lovely?

Home sweet home.

So, we don't have much money.

2 large scotch, uh, a pint of bitter, 3 gin, 7 bags of crisps And 20 embassy, please.

What can i get you, dear?

Oh, i'm looking for my... husband.

Hey, hey, she's looking for her husband.

Who's your husband, dear?


Bill who?

Bill cleg.

Bill cleg.

Bill, you're wanted!

Is he here?

Not if he's got any sense, he ain't.

Bill cleg? I don't know him.

Regular here, is he?

No, uh...

Well, at least i don't... i don't think so.

Sorry, dear.

Can i get you something?

No. Thank you.

He killed her. He killed her.

Out with the old, eh, plumber?

Out with the old, eh, plumber?


Go on, toast me. It's romantic.


I've gone all bandy.


What? What?

We don't care!


You'll wake up the neighbors.

They're my neighbors now, ain't they?

Oh, yeah, that's right. 'Cause you're mine now.

Yes, that's right, isn't it?

Just you and me.

Oh, billy.



Ya bastards!


Keep away, ya bastards!

Or i'll... do the fuckin' lot of ya!

I am not a spaniard!

Put it down, freddy.

Come on.

Do us all a favor.

No one said you was a spaniard.

You bastard!

I'll cut your fuckin' heart out With a trowel.

Don't talk to me about nonchalance.

Stay away! Keep away, ya bastards, Or i'll skin ya alive!

I'm warnin' ya!

Don't come near me!

I found... found a piece... piece of glass...

On the floor.

See, i found... found it on the floor.

There it is.

We was worried about that one.

Take your eye out, that would.

One, 2.



Kitchener street.

How does that sound?

We're gonna go to the shops.

We'll get you some food.

I'll just put you in your buggy. There's a good girl.


Off we go.

Let's go.

It's not fair, is it?

It's ridiculous.

What are you looking at me like that for?

You really have turned into a most peculiar boy recently.

No wonder your father's worried about ya.

What's the matter with you?

Your toast.

Here's your toast.

Dip in if you want it.

Your father might be home early today.

Be a bloody wonder if everything gets done.

You ask yourself, is it worth it?

Yes, it's true we murdered your mother.

Try and think of me as your mother now.

They told me to go back for the giblets. Can you believe it?



What are you sayin'?

You're both murderers.


Right. Down in the cellar.

I've had enough of this. Come here, you! Down the cellar right now.

Come back here!

And don't bother coming back!


Bloody hell.

Bloody hell.


Murderer. You're both murderers.

% Silent night %

% Holy night %

% All is calm %

% All is bright %

% Round yon %

% Virgin %

% Mother and child %

% Holy infant %

% So tender and mild %

% Sleep in heavenly %

% Peace %

% Sleep in heavenly %

% Peace %%




You all right?

Come on, dennis.

Come here. I want to talk to you.

What...what is the matter with you, dennis?

Why are you so...

Angry with us?

You know, you're making your mother very unhappy.

She's not my mother.


Oh, this again.

Who is she then?

Who is she, dennis?

Who is she?

She's a tart.

You cheeky monkey. I should smack your head.

She's a cheap tart.

You killed my mum, you murderer! You bloody murderer!

Dennis, do you...

Do you know what you're saying?

Are you... are you daft?

I don't know where you get your ideas from.

You're by yourself too much.

You need some mates.

When i was your age, i had mates.

Every young lad needs... needs mates.


You still think i... i done her in?

Answer me.

Do you think i done her in?

Thank god for that.

All right. Let's go home then. Come on.



All right then?

All right now.

You sit yourselves down.

I went out, And i got something nice for your supper.


Wakey, wakey.

Wakey, wakey.

Wakey, wakey.

Well, mr. Cleg?

What are you looking at me like that for?

Say something, mr. Cleg.

Cat got your tongue?




No, no, no, no.

Now, I'm missing a spare set of keys.

I left them on this table last night, And when i came down this morning, they were gone.


Mr. Cleg?

What do you know about my spare keys?

A spare set of keys.


Several keys on a ring.


Mr. Cleg.

Not in your room, mr. Cleg!

This filthy thing!

It will come down.

I ask you again, mr. Cleg, Where are my keys?

Who...who are you?

Don't play dumb with me, my friend.

All right. You leave me no alternative.

Arms out, legs apart.

What a magpie you are.

Where have you hidden them, eh?

Nothing to say to me, mr. Cleg?

No. No.

Not really.


You all right?

My hands hurt. You hurt my hands.

Oh, i'm so sorry.

It's just an excuse to give you a bit of a cuddle.

Let me see. I'll take care of them.

Oh, come on!

It don't work!

Fucking plumbing's off.

You're a plumber.

Fucking toilets don't work.

You stay here.


Oh, no. No. No.

For god's sake, somebody help me, please!

For god's sake!

For god's sake.

You did this.

You did this.

You did your mum in.

You...you killed your mother.

You murdered your mum.

Oh, god. Oh.

What have you done?

What have you done?

Huh. You ready to come back to us then, old son?

Y-You got a smoke? You got a smoke, john?

Yeah. Ta.