State and Main (2000) Script

[instrumental music]


Doc, those pills you gave me for my back I'm not sure that they work.

Well, I'm not sure either, but you don't hear me complain.

Uh, uh, s-stop by the office at the end of the afternoon.

Thanks, doc.

They're kidding, right? No, they're not kidding.

This is your movie. This is small-town America.

The town in New Hampshire was small-town America too.

Forty thousand dollars a day to shoot on the street and then they kick us out.

'Well, that's life in the movie business.'

But look here. A jacket for $5.

I could buy this whole town for 50 bucks.

You told me that about the last town.

Yeah, but they never shot a movie here.

I'm bleeding, Bill. I'm bleeding.

Why am I here?

What do they got that can pass for the old mill?

'There you go.' The Waterford Mill.

[Walt] '"Built 1825. Long a tourist attraction."'

Wake up Uberto.

We're here.

Where are we? 'Give him a cigarette.'

[Italian accent] They send the old mill from New Hampshire?

They're holdin' our old mill for ransom.

We build one. They got one.

We build a fire hut.

[knocks]

[Uberto] 'Okay, okay, but we have to lose the window.'

We can't lose the window. Then I can't do the shot.

Wally, you wants me to push in through the window.

'Look, I can't push in through the window.'

We go back to New Hampshire-- No.

We can't ever go back to New Hampshire.

No, we're gonna to stay here.

This is what my people died for.

The right to make a movie in this town.

That traffic light.

What was wrong with the old traffic light?

I'm glad you asked. I'll tell you what was wrong with it.

And what was wrong with it was, it was behind the times.

Mornin', darlin'. Mornin'.

Now you wanna bring business to this town you have to plan for a Waterford that does not exist.

Not in this moment, no. 'Mornin', folks.'

You have to live in the present, folks.

You cannot live in the past.

Good morning.

Hi, Annie. Hi, Carla.

Annie, I'm gonna be a little late for the rehearsal tonight.

It's okay, Maude. You know your lines?

I know 'em. I don't know what order they come in.

We'll work it out. Mm.

[male #1] 'Now what shall we have that's good to eat? Something yummy.'

What are they on about? Traffic light.

Jack's right. Public office is a public trust.

This is why this is America. That's right.

The question is, who owns the street?

That is the question.

[bell dings]

Mm-hm.

[humming]

Lots of room. Uh-huh.

[Bill humming]

Marty, we got a new town.

Yeah, it's, uh.. Where are we again?

Waterford, Vermont. Waterford, Vermont.

It's.. Where is it?

That's where it is.

Here, talk to Bill.

You gotta get me Main Street for nothing.

I will.

Marty, Bill.

Okay, put her on. Yup.

Cathy, stand by.

Alright.

Everyone goes to Waterford, Vermont.

Well, look on a bigger map.

God, she makes me cranky. May I help you?

Yeah, I'd like to speak to the manager.

Would you like a room?

Nah, we want to rent the whole hotel.

Because.. Because..

Because we don't have to build an old mill.

They have an old mill.

Yeah, it's on a stream.

That's where you put an old mill.

They run on water. Uh-huh.

Okay, I'm looking at.. I've got scene 12.

[knock on door] Come in.

Uh-huh. Thank you.

Shouldn't you be in school? It's night.

"Scene 12, the arrival at the mill."

[knock on door] Alright, work it out and get back to me.

Mr. Price? Mr. Price? What?

What is it? We're working.

"Bring it in on time

"and there's more where these came from. Marty.

PS, I want to talk to you about a product tie-in."

Somebody make a note.

I want.. For the broad, what does she like?

Lilacs. 'Okay.'

A truckload of lilacs when the broad comes.

And, and get somethin' for Bob Barrenger.

Get him.. What does he like? Bob Barrenger?

Bob-Bob Barrenger is in this movie?

That's correct. He's staying here?

Bob Barrenger's.. Put somethin' in his room.

What does he like? Fourteen-year-old girls.

Well, get him somethin' else.

Let's try to get out of this town in one piece.

Get him half a 28-year-old girl.

'How's my math?'

[female #1] 'Who wanted these storyboards?'

[male #2] 'You gotta get rid of this elephant.'

[Bill] 'Sound department said'

'there's no hold up on the KMR-81.'

'Two of the caterers are down with botulism.'

And Uberto tells me he can't take this shot unless they let him take out the firehouse window.

I need my lucky pillow.

Walt, I gotta talk to you about her nude scene.

I need that permit to shoot on Main Street.

I need to speak to the mayor. Well, speak to him.

We can't find him. Aren't you ever in school?

There's other things to be learned.

Is that true? Like what?

Like the mayor's here.

What's his name? Mr. Bailey.

Hi, Mr. Bailey. You gotta do these again.

Okay. Mr. Bailey.

Mr. Bailey, Mr. Bailey. Walt Price.

I'm gonna be your director. I lost my typewriter.

I have to tell you I cannot express to you how happy--

We're glad to have you here. Well..

No phone calls. I'm with the mayor.

Yes, can I speak to my wife, please?

[Bailey] 'This isn't our firehouse.'

[Walt] 'No. That's a firehouse in New Hampshire.'

[Bailey] 'Now why did you leave New Hampshire?'

[Walt] Would you like a cigar?

Aren't these illegal? Why would they be illegal?

Well, the trade embargo against Cuba.

Nobody tells me anything.

Well, you know, uh, you know, Walt uh, I-I'd like to say that anything I could do--

That's very kind of you. As a matter of fact, one..

I hate to bother you with this.

We need the shooting permit for Main Street.

Whatever you need.

Uh, the city council, of course, will have to pass--

The city council. Yeah, pass on your permit.

So.. But, but that's less than a formality.

It is? Yeah, I am the city council.

Well, that's.. Mr. Mayor, that's very kind of you--

Uh, n-now my wife, uh, would-would like to invite you to, uh, have dinner with us at our home.

And we-we'd like to welcome you.

And-and I hate to be a pain about this--

Oh, I would be delighted.

Are you kidding me?

Well, well, I won't take more of your time.

Not at all. Not at all.

'I can't imagine the responsibility..'

'Well, actually, I can imagine'

'because once I had to video'

'my grandniece's confirmation, but..'

Walt, it's Marty on the Coast.

We'll see you Tuesday then for dinner.

It is one of the great, great pleasures meeting you.

Thank you. Thank you. Bye-bye.

I found your lucky pillow. Ah-ha.

It's Marty on the Coast. Of course, he's on the Coast.

Where's he gonna be? The Hague?

What? Marty, hi.

The new town's cheaper than the old town.

We're gonna save a fortune..

Because, because we don't have to, to rebuild the old mill.

They've got an old mill. They've got a firehouse. They..

Baby, baby, baby, I wanna save the money

'just as much as you do.'

Just put it, put it on the end of the counter there.

'Right on the counter.'

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

You wiped out the board.

Dinner with the mayor. Write it big.

That's just what we need, to miss dinner with the mayor.

'Marty, we gotta talk about this schedule.'

'I gotta have an extra day on the dead horse gag.'

'I'm serious. No, it gets worse.'

'I need another half day on the old mill pond.'

We can't shoot in the old mill.

Marty, uh, one sec.. Call me back, two minutes.

[male #3] 'We can't shoot in the old mill.'

I just talked to the mayor. He told me anything we need.

It burned down. When did it burn down?

1960.

"Part of a spate of suspicious fires the old mill.."

You told me they had an old mill.

"Suspicion of arson, these fires believed set

"by a disturbed teenager, were in fact the inspiration

'for the Waterford Huskies."'

Hi.

Does it have to be an old mill? Where have you been?

I was in New Hampshire. I was at the old location.

We can't shoot the old mill.

[Bill] That's the truest words you'll ever hear.

You know, they told me there were gonna be jokes.

Like, kid, kid the new guy. 'That's not quite it.'

The old mill burned down.

Can't, can't you build the old mill?

We're out of money.

You built the old mill in New Hampshire.

They're holding the old mill for ransom.

Oh.

Why did we have to leave New Hampshire?

[whispers]

[cell phone rings]

[Walt] Hello? Marty.

What would they have used instead of an old mill?

I need it tonight. Yeah, Marty, you were saying?

I can't write it.

Why? I lost my typewriter.

Get Mr. White a typewriter. I can only write on manual.

I know the feeling. Typewriter for Mr. White!

You know, you know, that's a lie.

'You know, t-that's a real fault.'

It's not a lie, it's a gift for fiction.

Off you go.

'Bill.'

How big is this horse? Fifteen hands.

[Walt] 'What is that in fingers? I'm just kidding.'

Get me this horse. That horse is booked.

Tell the guy.. Get me this horse!

Tell the guy I'll give him an associate producer credit.

[laughing]

'I'll give the horse an associate producer credit.'

[laughing]

Put a VHS, an air conditioner and a refrigerator in that room or she's gonna blow.

The labor with the first child can sometimes be prolonged. as much as--

What's an associate producer credit?

It's what you give to your secretary instead of a raise.

This isn't Evian water. It's water.

Can't sign for it. Sorry. She's going to blow.

Well, you rewire.

I rewire it, I gotta tear out half the wall.

'Bill.' I'm looking for my typewriter.

I found lilacs. I found lilacs.

Why don't you put them in her room?

Tommy, Tommy, you gotta send

'somebody runnin' for a new dead horse.'

Did they find my typewriter? 'Bob! Bob!'

Oh, my God. Mr. Barrenger! Mr. Barrenger!

I told you, all of you, get back, get back.

This man is a guest here.

Hi, I'm, uh-- Oh, sir, I know who you are.

Bob Barrenger. I'm with the movie--

Sir, sir, we're so, we're so..

Front! Front!

We're so.. I've seen.. I know everybody says this but I've seen every, every one of your movies.

Uh, show Mr. Barrenger to his room.

Your room is 214 through 17. I'm Scott Larkin.

Anything you need, this is my private line.

Well, thank you very much, Scottie.

I'm just here to do a job-- 'Hey, Bob!'

Hey, Tommy.

I heard your wife's havin' a baby.

That's right. You know who the father is?

They think it's your first wife.

Oh, that could be.

Now get out of here.

I'm gonna get you a list of Mr. Barrenger's dietary requirements.

Mr. Barrenger! Mr. Barrenger! Chuckie, Chuckie, not today.

Mr. Barrenger has just arrived.

[Bob] Oh, that's alright.

Chuckie. How do you spell that, son?

With an I-E?

Chuck, what are your hobbies? Baseball.

Baseball?

Chuckie..

...that's the national sport.

Thank you.

Here you go, dad.

[Jack] 'I'll tell you what else, in the land of freedom'

'we get to choose what we have for breakfast.'

'You think that's nothin'? Go live under communism.'

Here's your bowl of kasha. Eat it and shut up.

Vanilla frappe, two tuna BLTs.

What's a tuna BLT? It's for the movie people.

Well, I, for one, am glad of a little diversion and I'm glad they're here.

What I'm saying is we have to look out for our own.

They wanna close down Main Street.

You wanna talk about Main Street why don't you fix the pothole?

Doug, it's.. What did you.. Three days?

Three, four days? You know what we're gonna have?

A record of our wonderful life.

Okay, Annie, why don't you stick to the amateur theatricals?

This is not quite the same thing, you see.

'This is big business in which our life'

'is no less a commodity than..'

'Help me out here. Than our--' 'Water or mineral deposits?'

[Doug] 'Well, that's what I'm sayin'.'

I think that they're nice. 'I'm sure they are.'

[Jack] 'Nice as they are, they should be thankful'

'they can choose their breakfast.'

'Why? 'Cause they don't live under communism.'

Communism's over.

That's what they said about Warner Bros, 1985.

But if you look at their price per share today..

Well, hard to argue with that.

Dad, I've got to go to Terry's house to study tonight.

I want you home by 9:00.

I wanna tell you something, Ann.

You stay soft all your life, people will despise you.

It awakens avarice in them, they take advantage of you.

And that's human nature. Mm.

Oh, are you gonna be home tonight?

I might have something important to tell you.

What is it? A surprise? That's right.

She could have done better than him.

It takes all kinds. That's what it takes?

I always wondered what it took.

Excuse me, y-you said, uh..

Your sign says, uh, you'd be back at 2 o'clock.

It's a quarter to 3:00. Oh, uh..

[telephone ringing]

You're doin' a play. Local drama group.

Northern Books.

'No, it hasn't come in yet.'

'As soon as it does.'

You, too, Marge.

In a small town, I suppose you have to make your own fun.

Everybody makes their own fun.

If you don't make it yourself, it ain't fun.

It's entertainment.

[telephone rings]

'See my point? Northern Books.'

What can I do for you? I-I need a typewriter.

We got 'em. North, no...

Henry James was the novelist, Frank James was a criminal.

Yup, you came to the right place.

Jesse James was the brother.

Of the novelist, that's right.

That's alright, Susie. See you tomorrow, Susie.

Okay. Yeah, I wanna rent this one.

Why don't you buy it? Only 40 bucks.

I had one, but they lost it.

You buy this typewriter, I'll get it all spruced up for you good as new, better than new, 'cause it has some history.

Other one had history too. I wrote my play on it.

You wrote a play on it? What play's that?

You never heard of it. What's it called?

"Anguish."

"Anguish" by Joseph Turner White?

You're Joseph Turner White?

That's right. Afternoon, Annie.

Girls, this man wrote this play.

Is that a fact? Well, is it a good play?

Yes, Maude, it is. It is a very good play.

'A very good play indeed.'

Well, what's he doin' here? What are you doing here?

Writing the movie. 'You're writing the movie?'

Yeah. What's it about?

It's about the quest for purity.

[Walt] 'Scene blah blah blah, they meet.'

'"Sister, I've just come from a fire.'

'There are some things I want to think out."'

'Uh, that's bad because?'

Because he wouldn't say that.

"Look, sister, I've just come from a fire.

There are some things I wanna think out."

Come on. Come on.

Leave me alone. A gesture? Alright?

What else? Page 3.

Now "It's a nice evening." I'm not gonna say that.

"It's a nice evening." Yeah, okay.

[knock on door] Come on.

Yeah? Come in.

Joe! Good. You know Bob?

I grew up on your movies.

Do you mind if I don't go through the usual bullshit about how much I loved it?

I mean, okay, fine, but it's a motion picture.

'You're gonna bore them to death.'

[Walt] 'Come in.'

[Carla] 'I brought your sandwich.'

Thanks, honey.

Next time, bring two. Save yourself a trip.

The people came to see a motion picture.

Hold on. No, no, you can go.

Page 5. The fucking horse dies.

You know, she could be in the movie. She could.

'Oh, boy.' She's got a good face.

'Bob.' She could be the doctor's..

Why does it have to be his, uh, wife?

Bob. Bob. It could be his, uh--

Bob, stick to business, will ya?

Can we do that? No, you're absolutely right.

And you go start with that stuff in this town.

Hey, everybody needs a hobby, huh?

Okay, look, page..

[knock on door]

[Walt] 'Claire.'

You know Bob Barrenger? I just saw "Desert Sun."

I wanna tell you..

No, I was, I was, I was just learning on it.

How'd you like working with Richard Hill?

Oh, I loved it. He is.. He's a real..

[laughs]

Joe White. Oh.

How can I thank you?

How can I repay you for this part?

It's a.. What a..

Thank you for this part.

The first scene at the old mill--

Uh, Joe's been having some thoughts about the old mill scene, Claire.

What is there to think about?

The scene is perfect. I, I get to say--

Yeah, but Joe's been..

Well, he's, he's been having a few, um, thoughts.

[Claire] 'How many times in your life do you get a speech like that?'

Yeah.

This scene is why I'm doing the movie.

"Look at the mill, Frank.

"Look at the way it goes around.

"Half the time the darn wheel's under water

"but still it rises up, Frank.

It rises up as high as it can go."

[clicks tongue]

Yeah. Um, that's true.

Uh, Joe, you want to, um..

You wanna tell Claire about the, uh the, uh, thoughts you've been having..

...about the old mill scene?

[chuckles]

[bell tolling]

So young.

So innocent. So full of promise.

I beg your pardon?

I've got your typewriter.

I don't need it. I quit. You quit?

I quit the movie. Why did you quit?

Hey, why in the world would you quit?

Why I quit is not important but thank you for your help.

Mm-hmm.

Actually, I'm not sure if I quit.

I think I got fired. No.

I'm such a liar. I never could tell the truth.

Don't be hard on yourself.

But I just got kicked off my first movie.

Well, everybody has reversals.

If you were never down how would you know when you were up?

You have a gift for words. It's in your play.

Oh.

Evenin', Annie. See you at rehearsal.

You know your line? "Rise.

One need not bend the knee before the throne of justice."

Go, you Huskies. Go, you Huskies.

[Joe] 'He leaves the clothin' out all night?'

[Annie] Yup.

Isn't he afraid it's gonna get stolen?

Ain't worth stealin'.

'Only thing in town worth anything'

'is that stained glass window.'

'Waterford Historic Firehouse, 1851.'

You ever wonder why the Dalmatian's the symbol of the firehouse?

First organized fire department was on the border of Dalmatia and Sardinia in the year 642.

That's why the Dalmatian?

It was either that or a sardine.

Oh.

Mornin', Bucky.

[barks]

There you go, pal.

Hey. You grew up here?

Central High and matinees at the Bijou Theater.

Nice town. 'Oh, yeah.'

[barks]

You wanna talk about it?

Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh.

You see, uh..

Um, the, the sanctity of everyday things.

Everyday things, yes.

Take for example the heat's coming from a fire and, um..

That's a fine house.

You know, when you look at that, you know nice people live there.

I live there. Really?

The porch swing and everything?

Surest thing you know.

I don't mean to impose, but..

...do you think we might..

That's what the swing's there for.

That's what the swing is there for.

Uh-huh.

That's its purpose, isn't it?

I always thought so.

[swing creaking]

It's such a pleasant sound. Mm-hmm.

'Cause, 'cause it's..

It's the simple things that.. Mm-hm.

Well, there you are.

And have I got big news for you.

This is Joe White and this is, this is..

'...uh, uh, uh..'

...my fiance, Doug Mackenzie.

It's a pleasure.

Guess who was this close to a nomination to state senate which is this close to one step from congress.

Who?

[chuckles]

It was lovely meeting--

Mr. White is working on the movie.

It's a pleasure meeting you. 'And we were just--'

They were.. Let me tell you, they were a bit coy at first.

I told them, "Look, the people are tired.

"They're gonna vote their pocketbook, yes

"but they're gonna vote their heart.

"How do I know? I'm out there with them every day.

"Go down to the lumber mills, go down to the truck stops

'"and you'll see people of this great land'

'working, playing, moving.."'

[train chugging]


What happened in 1975?

The 19..

Don't run off.

Don't run off. We need you.

You know why?

You're why we're here.

Your script is why we're here.

Big deal, we fight a little bit.

You show me a family that doesn't.

But we got something good here. You know what it is?

We're here to make a movie.

We can't use the old mill. That happens.

What you got to do? You got to figure out the essence.

What is it that brought us all here?

It wasn't a building, Joe.

It was an idea.

What is the essence of your story, Joe?

It's about a man who gets a second chance.

Then you write that.

And then this is our second chance.

That's why we're all here.

I wanna make a good film. I know you do.

And, and..

You know, maybe it will be a better film without the old mill.

Hey, it's with the gods.

We don't have the money.

We gotta ride it out, the best or not.

And that's a lesson.

Did you get your typewriter yet?

No.

Grace, get on the other phone.

Get Mr. White his typewriter.

Yeah, and have what's-her-name send up some nosh.

What do you like to drink? I don't drink.

Did my matzahs come?

Get some for everybody.

Thank you.

Let me tell you about my first picture.


The chairs go. The La-Z-Boy goes.

Not the La-Z-Boy. The La-Z-Boy goes.

Hi, Sherry. Where do you want it?

Put it in the living room. And we have 13 at table.

We don't have 13 at table.

Bob Barrenger, Claire Wellesley, the director--

Well, then you can invite someone else then.

I don't want to invite someone else because this is the most exclusive--

Well, then, you know, you do whatever would make you happy.

I'll be back with the butter churn.

And we need a blunderbuss.

The woman's gone crazy about this dinner party.

What doe she want from my-- George?

I want a city council meeting.

City council?

Doug, the traffic light-- Fuck the traffic light.

I'm talkin' about 3% of the adjusted gross of a major motion picture.

Hi. I love your script.

What? You're still here.

Mornin', Annie. See you at rehearsal tonight.

"In the name of justice, sir, I bid you pause for she is our queen."

That's very good.

In fact, I'm not sure if I gave them a second chance or they're givin' it to me.

That's the truth. You know, the truth's best, don't you think?

You'd know better than me. H-how can you say that?

It's in your script.

It's about getting a second chance, isn't it?

"You can go back."

But how do I..

How do I do a film called "The Old Mill" when I don't have an old mill?

Well, first, you gotta change the title.

No, he doesn't wanna work out with the Waterford Huskies.

Because he's Bob Barrenger.

Call his girl in Aspen. Get her to ship his weights.

There you go, sir. 'Well, fine.'

Then he's not going to do the pond scene.

Not unless he can work out.

Call his girl in Aspen, get her to ship the weights out.

How much can they weigh? Walt.

Are these the ones? Yes.

Who designed these costumes? Who designed these costumes?

It looks like Edith Head puked and that puke designed these costumes.

Get Courteney. Y-your wife's on the phone.

I have no wife. Okay.

Ugh.

Tommy, we need a new name for the movie.

Where's the writer? Roger.

Wally, I got to takes out the window from the dog.

'Walt.' I can't shoot through--

What? Claire has a problem.

Wally, if I haves a moment of your time?

Look at this. This shot.

I cannot do the shot you want. Why not?

Because it gots a window with the dogs in it.

You want me to push in or I can lose the shot.

No, no, no! You cannot lose the shot.

The meaning of the film is in that shot.

But, Wally, the window to the fire hut--

I don't care.

Fix it! Hm.

Courteney. Hmm.

Did you show Claire these sketches?

Yes. Did she throw up?

That's not very nice. Oh, really?

Why don't you sue me in the World Court?

Did she like the costumes? I can't tell.

Why not? She won't stop crying.

Oh, goody. Find out when Marty Rossen's arriving.

Get some lilacs to send to the broad.

Town's out of lilacs.

You go to her room, you take the lilacs from the water dry them, get some cellophane, wrap 'em up get a card from Marty.

Right.

What's her problem?

She doesn't wanna bare her breasts.

She doesn't wanna bare her breasts?

What? I-in the nude scene?

Why are we paying her three million dollars?

She got religion.

Her religion bars her from fulfilling her contract.

What is she doing in there?

[Claire sobbing]

[clears throat]

[Claire sobbing]

Mm-hmm.

[knocks] Claire?

Claire?

Claire?

[Claire sobbing]

What is it, pal?

[mumbles]

'What?'

I can't do it, Walt. You can't do what?

It isn't right. I can't. I..

I know I signed the contract. I..

I don't, I don't know if they told me it was in the contract.

Forget the contract, Claire. What is it?

I don't wanna take my shirt off. And I can't..

What are these things they're askin' of me?

What? What? I-I try to be good.

The only thing I care about is--

I know that. '...is, is the movie.'

I know that. I, we all know.

Everybody, t-t-they treat me-- No, they don't.

They treat me like a child. 'Now, Claire.'

I..

To bare my body.

'What are they askin' of me?'

Now, look, Claire, I wanna tell you a story.

[knock on door] What?

Fuck flowers. This isn't about flowers.

This is about a human being.

Lilacs.

Who are these from? Marty.

Well, that's very thoughtful of him.

Eleonora Duse-- I can't.

Listen to me, Eleonora Duse was playing Hamlet in London in 1905 and royalty could not get a ticket.

She said, "I'm not doing the seven shows a week I signed for."

She said, "I can't bare my soul seven times a week.

I am an artist. I'll do four shows a week."

The greatest actress of her time.

And do you know what her producer said?

What? Nothing.

He held her and he wept.

Because he und-- I..

He understood that that was her life's blood on that stage.

I know. I know.

And, and, and did she?

She did the seven shows?

No, Claire, she didn't.

But I think you should do this scene.

Wally. I know. I know. I know.

It's the hardest thing in the world.

And sometimes it seems that everybody wants a--

Yes. Yes! Wants a piece of us.

And you know what?

We have to give it.

I don't know what her problem is.

She takes her shirt off to do a voice-over.

Excuse me. What's her problem?

The country could draw her tits from memory.

Ah.

I.. Bill.

[Claire crying] Call her agent in New York.

Tell him she's breaking her contract.

We're very upset, we're very upset with her.

Get someone to double for her, her tits.

The tit scene. Call LA.

I wanna see pictures of women's tits.

Their tits. I'm very sorry.

You're very sorry, you passive-aggressive son of a bitch! Can we replace him?

We start shootin' in three days.

You wanna see the firemen's costumes?

'Cause I found this moleskin for the color.

Marty Rossen's touched down. Okay.

It's not black, but it looks black.

It's not brown-- Yup!

It's faggy without being homosexual.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

He gets a second chance, do you see?

And you get a second chance. No, I don't.

He doesn't go back to the mill.

He gets a second chance to go back to the firehouse.

You don't need the old mill.

This is what.. You see?

This is what your..

This is what the script is saying.

Hi, Annie. Hi, Emma. See you tonight.

Go, you Huskies! This is, look.

Go, you Huskies.

What I see you saying is you have the two elements, fire and water.

The firehouse and the old mill.

You know, you could-- W-what are you doing tonight?

Me? Tonight? Yeah.

Tonight I-I-I have play practice.

Oh. Oh.

Well, well, that's important.

Come on, people. Let's hump it. Let's get it. Let's go!

[speaking in foreign language]

Yeah. Let's go. Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Come on, come on, come on.

You called the broad out? No, I left that for you.

That's thoughtful.

Mm, this is good. You try this?

Oh, I'm really gonna eat carbohydrates.

Hey, dump this somewhere.

What did you do? Build this? How was your flight?

We're flying over pigs, we're flying over sheep.

Did you bring Bob's weights? They're comin', FedEx.

What's in the bags? My undies.

'Cause if you can't get this picture off on time I'm gonna wet myself.

I'm gonna get it off.

Fifty five days, I take home the camera.

Oh, I got an idea for a product placement.

Hi, Shelly. Hiya, doc.

How's the arm? Still itchin'.

Eh, good. A sign it's gettin' well.

Yeah.

Afternoon.

Stop. That's what I told you.

How are you getting on with these fine people?

Like dykes and dogs. Hm.

[Walt] 'Hey, did you see the grosses for "Gandhi II?"'

[knock on door]

Yeah. Come in.

'Oh, good.'

I just, uh..

Prices are going up.

Well, that's the way of the world, isn't it?

Everybody's gotta eat.

Way of the world.

I'm being pretty impolite.

Uh, would you like some?

I don't eat vegetables.

Well, I could offer you something to drink.

Sure. What have you got?

What do you drink? Bourbon and milk.

How old are you?

Then I hope you wouldn't tell anyone that I gave this to you.

I would never tell anyone anything that happened between me and somebody who is my friend.

Yeah.

Nice town you got here.

We could see it a lot better if we were on the roof.

Wouldn't that be dangerous?

Not if you have something to hold on to.

The requirement is you tell me what this shot is.

Because if you cannot tells me what is it how can I take pictures of it?

Wally wants me to, uh, push in through the window.

How can I push in through the window?

Yeah, no, um-- Senor, telephone.

Scusa.

Pronto.

[speaking in foreign language]

Uh-huh, sure.

Oh.

[Annie] 'Hello. How are you?'

I thought you had play practice.

Mm. What happened?

Cast stood me up. Uh-huh.

They're all preparing for the auditions for your movie.

Oh, my glasses fell apart.

I lost the.. Lost the screw?

Evening, Annie. Evenin', sweetheart.

Go, you Huskies. You said it.

Do you like kids?

I never saw the point of 'em. Me too.

You have a paperclip to fix my glasses?

Better idea. Yeah?

Hold up, Cathy, I need you. Okay.

Oh, watch out for that lure.

'Can I get some fishing line from you?'

[Cathy] Mm-hmm.

[Annie] Okay, let's see what we got.

A little fishing line, a little country wisdom and the world's our oyster.

I'm gonna fix you up a brand-new hinge.

It will be good as new.

Better than new 'cause it has a story.

Uh-huh.

[Annie] 'Presto change-o, the inherently helpful qualities'

'of everyday household things.'

Uh-huh.

There you go. Let me try it.

Careful you don't burn yourself.

Oh, no.

Ah! Ah!

You know what you got there?

You got a fish hook in your finger.

I'm right proud of you. Hmm.

Let me tell you something. Wally, he's a pussycat.

My thing is to see everybody does what they said they would and I gotta do that. Now what is this?

You want $800,000 to do what you're being paid to?

You already signed you'd do? What is that?

I think I should talk to my agent, Marty.

You and I should.. We should really--

Who is her agent? 'Mitch Cohen.'

Get him on the phone. He's, he's on the island.

He'll be back on Tuesday. Get him on the phone!

I want you to hear this. 'It's ringing.'

I really think that business matters should be discussed--

Well, I'm gonna discuss it between you, babe

'cause it's your idea.

And you think you're gonna sign to do a job then hold us up in the wild, sweetheart, you are in error.

He's on the phone. Thank you.

Mitch, this is Marty Rossen. I'm here in, uh..

Waterford, Vermont. I'm somewhere in the..

I'm on location..

Well, I'm gonna solve it here or this bimbo you sent me is gonna be doin' a donkey act on public access television.

Hi. Her tits, her tits, her tits.

Her tits, her tits.

'That she signed in her contract.'

We hired her 'cause of ten years at the Actors Studio?

The way she played Medea? Her last two pictures laid there on the screen like my first wife.

You have no rights-- Cool it, babe.

You started this. What's this?

Where have you been? No, you tell me.

You tell me now. I got a shoot on Wednesday.

I will not pay your blood money and PS, pal, I put the word out on the street and Betty Boop can look for work in Squigglevision. Sit down.

I really don't think you should talk to a lady like that.

Would you excuse me, please? You can't treat me like this.

I'm not a child. She's absolutely right.

I'm not a child. I have feelings.

I mean, don't you.. Don't, don't, don't..

Because I wanna tell you something and I think you know what I mean.

Well, you call him and call me back.

But this is it, pal, you fuck with me I'm gonna tear out your heart and piss on your lungs through the hole in your chest.

And the best to Marion.

Where you been? I--

[Marty] 'He says they're lookin' for you all day.'

You're on salary, he needs pages.

What are you? You been haying? Now--

Marty-- Later for that, Walt.

Let's get this, we need the pages for "The Old Mill," alright?

We need a new title. We need, uh--

Rewrite for Bob Barrenger's dead horse scene.

Whatever it is, go do it.

How you doin' on the permit?

It's just a formality. Well, that's why I want it.

Go on, type it up and get it back to me.

I can't.

Don't tell me you can't write it.

No, I can write it. I can't type it.

'Why?' I hurt my finger.

Get a typ.. Get him a typist.

Get out of here.

'Get out of here or we're gonna have you killed.'

Mm-hmm.

Eight hundred grand to show her tits.

Pay her. Find the money. I don't got the money.

I got a company that will give us a million dollars to put their product in the film.

Product placement? Yeah. Take a look.

What is it? What is it?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Just find me the money.

This is Joe White in 201.

They're sending up a typist.

[knock on door]

Okay. No, I.. Thank you, it's here.

Come in.

Hi.

Hi. May I come in?

Please.

You said, "You can't talk that way to a lady."

You stood up for me.

What do you have to drink? 'I don't drink.'

Matzah.

Are you Jewish?

Well, actually-- I love Jewish men.

Why? You know.

Where's your bathroom?

Mm?

So you liked the script, huh?

Where have you been? Hi.

We had a date. We did?

Where have you been? I've been thinking.

Well, I know, because they told me you were with that writer from the..

You see, this is what I mean.

The whole town's been, been warped by the by, by the presence of the movie company.

They holler and we jump. You have a date, they call.

You're doin' business 9 o'clock at night--

I wasn't doing business.

Oh, well, what were you doing then that's so important you shouldn't call your fiance?

I..

...have to tell you that's it's all over between us, Doug.

I..

...met somebody else and it's very serious, and it's over.

Wait, so serious you couldn't call to tell me you'd be..

What? What did you say?

It's all over between us. I've met someone else.

Who is this person that you've found?

He works on the movie.

No, don't tell me that.

I'm sorry.

Can you type?

If you can type, they need you over at the hotel.

Can you type? Never admit you can type.

Okay.

Alright, look.

I feel so close to you. I like you very much.

I like you too. Look, I, I met someone.

[knock on door]

Who is it? 'Room service.'

Could you leave it just outside the door?

[Annie] 'You have to sign for it.'

Would you excuse me? Of course.

[clears throat]

Hi. Oh, God.

I'm gonna be your typist for this evening.

And here's some hydrogen peroxide.

I don't drink. It's for your finger.

That's very thoughtful.

Well, here I am. Should we get down to it?

[sighs]

[chuckles]

Thought you might like these. Well, thank you very much.

Read the card.

Ah, "To the love of my life. Love, Doug."

[chuckles]

The other side.

Oh. Wait, wait, wait. Where are you going?

Don't you think we should put these in water?

For God's sake, why?

Because if you don't, they die.

Hmm.

And in my opinion, that makes them so much less attractive.

'Wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't do that.'

You shouldn't do that. Wait.

Yup, the little things mean a lot.

Yes, little things mean a lot. That's so true.

[Annie] 'For example, I once had an uncle' who was bit by a spider and he lost his sense of smell.

Oh. Can I have a cracker?

Please.

Shouldn't we start?

Start?

Start typing?

This isn't a good time. Oh, alright.

Then I'll come back at a better time.

Mm. What would be a better time?

Later on. Then I'll come back then.

You-you going out with your fiance tonight?

No, no, that's not happening. Okay.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Oh.

Hi.

Hi.

It occurred to me you'd wanna have this.

Sort of a memento of our.. Oh, am I..

I hope I'm not disturbin' you.

Uh, she came in here..

Wait, she..

I was giving her a massage.

'Wait.'

'Wait, she came in here..'

'She..'

With all due respect, she took off her clothes and she got into bed, and I told her we could not because we don't know each other--

We had a script conference.

And I said, "Thank you very much."

I had a couple questions about a line--

But, uh, it was, uh, inconvenient because, uh..

Uh-huh. Because..

You can do it.

Because I met someone else.

Oh, okay.

You believe that? I do if you do.

But it's absurd.

So is our electoral process, but we still vote.

Wait, do you truly think the electoral process is absurd?

I use to go out with a politician.

You use to go out with him? You broke up with him?

Time for a change.

Keep your margins straight. Yes.


[indistinct chatter]

And, uh don't, don't worry about that permit.

Well, that is right fine of you, Mr. Mayor.

Well, look, George. Mornin', George.

Chuckie. Sherry, your brother's here.

We're glad to have you here. Sherry? Got any jelly donuts?

My wife, Sherry, you know, w-we're havin' a party matter of fact, Tuesday night, uh for, uh, Walt and Bob Barrenger.

Invite them over, home-cooked meal.

Uh, if you'd like to join us--

Oh, I-I'd be awfully honored to-to be a part of it.

Where the hell have you been? Now, Sherry, this is Mr., uh..

It's, it's quarter after 9:00.

I've been on the phone-- Morning, Mrs. Bailey.

Mr. Bailey. I have two days to get this--

Dear, this is Mr. Rossen. He is the producer of the, uh..

Hello. Oh, I'm so glad to meet you.

We're glad to have you here and welcome you to our..

I, you know, they had.. I'm..

Yearly, we redecorate our..

To, uh, restore it to the original 1835 condition.

Uh, watch it. Excuse me. What is that?

The house. Right.

Now the original kitchen, of course, burned in 1960 as part of a spate of suspicious fires which in fact led to the inspiration of the formation of the Waterford Huskies.

My, oh, my. Oh, I thought that someday..

Would you like a cup of tea? George, I have to talk to you.

Uh, this is Mr. Rossen. He's the producer of the movie.

Hello. I want you to hear this, pal.

Forget the overages, forget $10,000 for three days to two weeks.

You know what it would cost him to build this town as a set?

Six million dollars. Now-- Oh, Doug.

Now the Waterford Merchants' Association demands through me as their council

5% of the profits of the movie as geared to the most favorable definition of profits of either A, the producer--

Counselor, I am sure no, I'm positive we can reach some accommodation.

I am thrilled and relieved to hear you say that, and thank you, sir.

What did you have in mind? Well, I believe that..

Don't tell me you don't have any wallpaper.

I told you we could have it by Wednesday.

Don't tell me you don't have any wallpaper.

The biggest grossing box office star in the world is coming to dinner on Tuesday.

Well, if you ordered something common.

Something common?

I'm going to give you something common.

I'm going to give you an injunction as well.

Mr. Mayor.

'Mr. Mayor!'

Why, you cheap little Hebe.

"'Assembly Of Death' did $95 million the first weekend."

Yeah, but those grosses are inflated.

You think so?

Well, you gotta look at the per screen averages.

Hi, Annie.

Oh, Annie, I'm sorry I haven't been to the meeting of the drama club.

Well, that's too bad.

[Annie] Hello.

What's the matter?

I can't seem to get it to come out right.

What's the scene? Used to be the old mill.

What do you got?

They meet on Main Street.

Her horse has just died.

He's coming from the fire.

Annie, you want somethin' to eat?

What's the scene about?

I don't know anymore.

[clears throat]

[Jack] Annie, have you seen Carla?

No.

[clears throat]

He sees her on the street.

He wipes the soot from his eyes.

He goes up to her.

"What happened to the horse?" Uh-huh.

He, she looks at him.

Yeah. She takes his hand--

Ah! I hurt you.

I hurt your finger. What happened to his finger?

It was burned.

Then it was really hurt. Ah, ah, ah!

That's what she says!

'That's what she says!'

'He says, "Sister, I've come from a fire."

'But she, but she, she realizes' it was not the fire which hurt him that the true hurt was her.

'Was her--' Yes.

Unbridled sexuality that he-- Yes.

Because, because, because it's about purity.

It's, it's, it's..

And then, then you don't need the nude scene.

Because it's about purity.

Take any two people.

Take you and me.

Well, I..

I've always thought so.

The finest people you can ever hope to work with.

Do you have the new "Old Mill" pages?

I can't find the writer.

Totally false. Totally false.

He is the, I would have to say most responsible human being I have ever--

I've to talk to you. My wife-- Not now.

My wife is going to have a baby.

Oh, that's great. Let's bring more people into this overcrowded world.

Yes.

Yes, I know what you mean.

Yes, that's, that's very, very true.

Take it off, take off that stupid, fucking shirt right now.

Take it off.

Well, if I had to say one thing I would say it's about purity.

[female #2] 'Ms. Wellesley's bags, please.'

Claire! The plane is waiting.

I've written a letter to the studio and to SAG protesting..

Bill, get a copy of that letter.

I just wanna say I am past chagrin.

I am mortified at the way you were spoken to.

I-- An artist of your caliber?

When I read this script I said there's only one person to play that part.

The minute I read the script-- I know.

I said she, she works with animals.

Yes. She has a home.

A woman who.. The community respects her.

Please don't go. Please don't go.

What can I do but beseech you?

Trauma? Toil? When..

All things must end.

Uh-huh, well, you-you just get an idea and you try to find the best way to express it pictorially.

Claire! Claire.

As an interpretive artist to a creative artist stay with me. I need you.

We start to shoot in two days.

Then it belongs to us. Stay. Stay.

Tonight when-when-when they've all gone, let's talk.

Let's really talk. We'll have dinner.

A bottle of bad red wine. We'll eat spaghetti--

I'm sorry, Walt. It's gone beyond that.

Well, I've enjoyed it too.

I've always enjoyed your, your publication.

Anytime.

What does that woman want from life?

She wants $800,000 to show her tits.

Pay her off.

We don't have the money. Find the money.

If you do the product placement--

It's a computer company. It's a computer company.

Bazoomer Com? Bazoomer.Com.

I can't put a computer in a film shot in 1895.

You wanna tell me how I'm going to do that?

Actually, the art department had some ideas.

No, no, no, no, no! Just pay her off!

Call Howie.

[Marty] 'Give me Howie gold.'

'Howie, this..'

I need.. I need 800 grand.

I.. I don't care where it comes from.

It comes out of our end.

Well, that's a shock.

I need-- 'She doesn't show her tits!'

Just get me the money. Just get me the goddamn money.

Hey, she doesn't show her tits.

'She doesn't show her tits.'

Her breasts symbolize motherhood.

The breasts symbolize motherhood?

The movie's about purity.

So we don't show her breasts. We show them to him.

She keeps her back to the camera.

It will hurt the box office.

They know what her tits look like.

Know? They could draw 'em from memory.

Ah.

You are fantastic.

What a find you are! Get out of here.

I still need the dead horse scene.

I'm gonna nail it. I know you are.

Go, you Huskies. Go, you Huskies!

Mr. Rossen. Yeah?

Well, thank you.

We just got the permit.

Oh, my God, stop her at the airport.

Catch the broad at the airport.

Send her back here.

Catch the broad at the airport.

[male #4] 'Catch the broad at the airport.'

That Joe, he is one hell of a kid.

He just saved us 800,000 bucks.

He's got a gift for fiction.

You know, we gotta do somethin' nice for him.

Yes, we do. You, hey, hey, come here.

Turn around, turn around.

Get him a bottle of, uh..

Get him some maple syrup.

Stick this card on it, put it in his room.

'Who?' 'Joe, the writer.'

Joe, the writer, maple syrup. Yes, sir, maple syrup.

Grows on trees.

Actually, it's an extract of the tree.

Oh, bullshit. Ah.

[male #5] 'I see where some of our buddies'

'got themselves a part in the movie.'

You see where Tom Miller's playin' the old farmer?

He's been playin' the old farmer nigh on to 60 years.

I read for that part. Did pretty well too.

Bet you did.

But I couldn't remember all the words.

Asked them would they give me a second chance.

Ain't no second chances in life.

Is that true?

Only second chance we get is the chance to make the same mistake twice.

The only..

'...second chance..'

'...is the chance'

'to make the same..'

[tires screeching]

[crash]

[groaning]

Okay, okay, you're gonna be alright.

So that happened. Are you alright?

Am I alright? Yeah.

Well, I'm gonna tell you something.

We have to get her out of here.

Who?

'Are you alright?' What?

You gotta get out of here.

Alright.

[Joe] 'No.'

You gotta get out of here.

Oh.

Oh.

Okay.

But here's the kicker.

Do you have a cigarette? What?

[chuckles] Nah, forget about it.

[thunder rumbles]

No, he's fine, Howie. He's gonna be fine.

He just, he got knocked around a little bit.

Hey, you're gonna be fine. I'll stop by tomorrow.

Thanks for your help, doc. 'Thank you, doc.'

It's what I do for a living.

No, seriously, doc, thank you for helping us out.

Believe it or not, son, I've seen it all before.

Howie wants to talk to you.

Hey, Howie.

I'm fine.

I'll be ready Wednes..

I'm here to make a movie, Howie. Don't you worry your..

Well, hey, pal, when did I ever let you down bef..

Okay, babe.

I love you too. Yeah.

He wants to talk to you about the, uh..

Howie, I'm calling you back, two minutes.

Are you okay? Oh, yeah, I'm fine.

I reached over, took the girl, had to be home.

I don't know, a school night, uh..

Bobby?

Everybody needs a hobby.

[knocks]

Walt, I wonder if I could take a moment of your time?

I need a day off. My wife is having a rough time.

Thank you for keeping me current.

Howie Gold, please.

'Walt Price. I was just on with him.'

Walt? He's fine.

'Cause if there's anything that I can do..

No, no, no, you've done it. Thank you. It's gonna be fine.

'Howie, Walt here. I'm sorry, it's crazy.'

'No, no, no, he's 110%.'

'He got banged on the head. He got a shot of adrenaline.'

'What request for money?'

'Howie, what request.. That Marty?'

Is Mr. Barrenger in there?

Howie, I'm gonna call you right back.

It's really raining out there, huh, officer?

I guess it is. Could I see Mr. Barrenger, please?

Okay, look, uh, what is she? 19, 20?

Oh, Christ. Um, look.

Look, okay, okay, look, look.

You're driving, countryside, so on.

You picked her up. She was hitchhiking--

No, hey, hey, she hid in the back of your car.

It happens all the time-- Wait, wait, wait--

[male #6] 'Could I see Mr. Barrenger, please?'

[Marty] 'Wait, we can't put her in the car.'

'She gets it in her head to sue a rape or some goddam..'

She wasn't in the car. She wasn't in the car.

You were all alone.

There's no witnesses. No, there's no wit..

There's no witnesses, right? No.

Uh, just, uh, just Joe. Just Joe.

Joe, the writer. Just him and me.

Then she wasn't in the car. Say it.

She wasn't in the car.

[thunder rumbling]

Mr. Barrenger? Yes?

I'm very sorry to-- What seems to be the problem?

I have to ask you some questions.

You have a valid driver's license?

Of course, he has. Could I see it, please?

What? 'Your driver's license.'

Were you under the influence?

Oh, no.

And who was driving the car?

I-I was alone i-in the car. I was driving the car.

Uh-huh.

Well, now, Mr. Barrenger, I'm very sorry.

In fact, I'm as sorry as I can be, but--

I'm an attorney. If there's anything you have to say to Mr. Barrenger, you can say it to me.

I have to give you this ticket for damage to city property.

I'm really sorry, sir. It's a formality.

You have to what? It's a formality.

Any case of damage to city prop..

You hit the control box of the new stoplight and they're gonna send you a bill.

They'll, uh.. These things happen.

I hope you're alright and that you're feeling well.

Tip-top, officer. Don't worry about that.

But that's so sweet of you.

If there's anything I can do to make your stay more pleasant.

We appreciate your concern, officer. Thank you so much.

Not at all. That's part of my job.

Yeah?

Hello, Mr. Mayor.

'Walt Price.'

'No, no.'

'He's fine.'

Well, he's, he's right here.

You are not to see that girl again, you understand me?

[knock on door]

Hello?

No, he's, he's right here. Would you like to..

Hi. Bob, are you alright?

Hi. Hi.

Where are you goin'? Goin' home.

Goin' home? Yeah.

I told them what you said. What?

I told them what you said about the script.

I didn't say anything, really. I was just talkin' out loud.

How else can you talk? Well, that's true.

I know you..

I told them you can't portray with a picture what you're sayin' with the words.

And I don't know, the movies, I don't know.

You know, they should be socially uplifting.

Why does she have to show her..

Hmm. What is this?

Yes, sir, Joseph Knight's print shop.

Vacant for 30 years.

Is it? Yup, and it's for sale.

You wanna see it? I have the key in my store.

I'd love to.

Bucky barks

[thunder rumbling]

How's your movie star? Gosh, you look nice.

What?

Well, what are you gonna do with it? The print shop?

Oh. Uh..

[Joe] 'Nice weather out there.'

Hey, slip into something more comfortable.

So what would you do with it? The print shop?

Start back up "The Waterford Sentinel."

"Waterford Sentinel?"

'Town newspaper. I got it all worked out.'

Yeah?

Show you the plans? 'Sure.'

[clears throat]

[Annie] '1865, Devil's Tail Press.'

"The Waterford Sentinel, the voice of the mountains."

[Joe] '"You shall not bear false witness."'

The press still works? It did as of last week.

Ah, you printed the poster here.

Best way I know to get ink on your hands.

Well..

[chuckles]

Oh, my.

Life in the country.

The past comes to our rescue once again.

Yeah, you could print the newspaper here.

That's something a man could do.

You know what else a man could do?

What?

[barking]

One moment.

[Joe] 'Alright, out you go. Don't come back.'

Go home, Bucky. Go home, boy.

I left the keys inside in my jacket.

Mm-hmm.

Well, uh..

...I suppose I should be..

Heading home. Evenin', Annie.

Evening, Cal. Got an umbrella?

Nope. 'Well, that's alright.'

You can have my coat. I'll walk you home.

Then you'll be wet. I'm goin' off shift.

Come on, I'll walk you home.

[instrumental music]

[thunder rumbling]


[glass shattering]

[laughing]

[glass shatters]

Ow.

[Walt] 'People.'

'People, people, people.'

'Every movie's gotta be about something'

'and it's got to be about just one thing.'

'What is this movie about?'

'It's about what we always said it was about.'

'We were lost, but now we're back in the right track.'

'You see what I'm saying? The movie is about purity.'

[Bob] 'I've always seen that.'

So we don't show your breasts.

We show your reaction to it.

I am so comfortable with that, Walt. I can't tell you--

Well, it was Joe's idea and you were exactly right.

[knock on door] This is great work you've been doing.

Thank you so much. We are not out of the woods.

I need that dead horse scene.

I have Mr. Barrenger's tuna BLT.

Thank you.

Um, I tried to take it to him in his room--

I think he's moved. Well, I, um..

But you know, what Walt said..

Claire, that makes a lot of sense.

It makes a lot of..

Listen, listen, because..

The audience isn't coming to see your breasts.

They're coming to see your acting.

What are you doing this evening?

I'm having dinner with Walt.

We're just gonna discuss the scr..

You wanna come? Do you mind?

Not at all, Bob. Are you kidding me?

Isn't she a trouper?

We're gonna go have some local food, some roadhouse.

Joe, you wanna go? Got a date.

Already he's learned how to write a movie and he's found some girl to get his toes curled.

You're a monster! Too kind.

Alright, quit your kiddin'.

How are we coming with the dead horse scene?

You can't actually kill the horse.

Oh, fuck me.

Yes. Yes.

Yes.

I'm trying, honey. I'm..

Look, is you m..

When is your mom coming?

Oh, uh..

What did the midwife say?

Did you.. Where, where are we going to dinner?

Did you get a reservation? What?

You were gonna book us a..

W-where is my schedule? Where are we going to dinner?

What's your problem?

My wife's having a baby.

Is that on the call sheet?

Is that on the call sheet or is that personal business?

Oh, Christ, Marty!

Are we paying you? I..

She didn't even finish knitting me the sweater.

Mornin', doc. Mornin'.

What are you doin' here, Doug?

I thought you started out the day with that pernicious caffeine.

Kiss my ass.

He's had a hard day.

Anne deserted him for some guy on the movie.

Well, they don't always leave with the ones they come in with.

Big day last night. Hope to tell you.

Didn't I pick the fragments of glass out of Bob Barrenger's actual head myself?

Morning, Carla. Morning, Uncle Ron.

Morning, Carla. 'Morning, doc. Morning, Doug.'

A cluster of events.

Don't see something ten years all of a sudden, three times in a night.

Who got glass in their head?

What? Who got glass in their head?

Oh, uh, Bob Barrenger and another fellow, uh who works on the movie, uh, uh, c-cameraman.

You said three.

Did I? I think you're mistaken.

I wasn't in the car.

Well, we'll just see about that.

Doug, she said she wasn't in the car.

You know, Jack, it's time to rip the Band-Aid off!

[knocks]

Mister, you're goin' to jail.

I didn't know it was illegal.

I beg your pardon.

Could somebody explain to me--

We're gonna turn this hotel upside down.

Ah-ha! Arrest him.

What's the problem? Arrest him.

For what? Conspiracy in statutory rape.

Conspiracy in statutory rape? Okay. Of whom?

This young woman. Nobody touched me.

Who was it that raped you? Nobody.

Well, what's the beef?

She was in the car with Bob Barrenger.

She was injured coming home from a love tryst.

You were in the car with Bob? No.

Then what is the..

Then what is this, you son of a bitch?

Because if you haven't heard about the laws of malicious prosecution, you're about to.

Don't flinch while I'm talkin' to you you speed-trap shegetz.

Now the kid was not in the car.

She says that she wasn't in the car.

No one says that she was in the car.

You have no case and you know it, so I'm not playin' patsy with you here, you motherfucker!

Look me in the eyes.

I made 11 million bucks last year and I don't like being trifled with.

Now I think the better part of valor is for you to step away.

Or you, your kids and your grandchildren will die in poverty.

What do you think, hmm?

We have a movie to make. Can we all pull together here?

Have a cigar. There you go.

In a communist country, if a fellow makes an accusation then these are the things that occur.

It's a mistake. It's all over.

I'm sorry that we've inconvenienced you.

I wasn't in the car. We know that you weren't.

We're all aware of that.

Because, because you treat me like a child.

You treat me like a child. That's why I can't come.

[indistinct chatter]

Uh.. He took advantage of me!

I got to admit I'm a bit confused.

Now I'm gonna straighten you out.

Officer, will you see these folks home, please?

Yes, sir.

She's upset and impressionable.

Get me my law book and get me the mayor.

I was just talking to that girl in the other room--

Overcome by the events.. I never touched her.

The presence of a high power.. My mother's grave.

A high-powered fantasy object.

We were talkin' about the script.

I think you might wanna get dressed.

I really don't understand the problem.

Wally. Alright.

[Carla] 'I wanna go home.'

If somebody would enlighten me?

Well, Jack, that's what I'm here for.

Carla? But, but..

The criminal code has the following provisions.

Adolescence is a difficult time. It is a time of dreams.

Many young folks dream of Hollywood. I know I did.

And here Hollywood has come to you.

She told me she was studying phonics.

Jack, I'm gonna need her birth certificate.

Carla, Carla, I swear that that girl in my room--

Be quiet, Bob.

It's called a script conference.

Now you have a fertile mind.

We can use people like that in our work.

You said you were doing your homework.

Because if that's not true, you're grounded.

Can we get him home, please? For weeks and weeks and weeks.

I-- I don't think so.

And if you think I'm fooling, wait till I get you home.

Now it, it occurs to me that there's a part in our movie--

I would appreciate if you wouldn't speak to the complainant.

There's a part in our movie a young girl. Am I right, Marty?

Okay, here it is. "Statutory rape."

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Carla, you know at the beginning of any relationship--

Keep him away from me. 'Carla.'

'Until the end of time.' Okay.

"Unsupported testimony of the complainant--"

You travel with the statutes on rape?

Carla? "Conflicting statements.

'"A coerced accusation."'

I mean, you've got a complainant who's worthless.

You've got no witness he puts her in the car and you've got no backing.

Yeah? Maybe we better talk to the mayor.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Hello, Mr. Mayor.

Is that the mayor? It's just an unfortunate..

Is he cool or angry?

So today we got lucky.

If your memory was as long as your dick you'd be in good shape.

I need a nap.

How long since you almost went to jail for this shit?

How could she turn on me like that?

I thought she liked me.

Can we just try to keep our pants buttoned and get out of this town in one piece?

I'm ready. Well, stay ready.

And stay by yourself in your room.

And what am I to do for fun?

Why don't you learn your lines?

I know my lines. You do?

I just don't know what order they come in.

I'll tell you what.

Let's ditch these cockamamie locals.

Yeah, they play too rough. I gotta get out of here.

Let's go to some roadhouse tonight.

Just us, you, me and Claire.

We'll, we'll, sit down.

We'll drink a bottle of wine. Now you're talkin'.

Just get in the car and go someplace.

Yeah, someplace. Someplace real.

You and me, pal.

[female #3] 'So what are you doin' for fun?'

[female #4] 'I went for a ride on a tractor.'

'Get out.' 'Nope.'

[female #3] 'You went for a ride on a tractor?'

[female #4] 'Yup, last night.'

[indistinct chatter]

[female #4] 'Uh, hey, Molly, would you get me a ham sandwich?'

'Get out.'

[indistinct chatter]


Hey, you gotta eat a pack of dirt.

My wife just went into labor.

Half a buck, I'd close it down.

It's per, you know, it's perfidy.

You got your Barrenger molesting little girls.

He should be put in jail.

Half a buck, I'd put him in jail.

You should. If I had a witness, I would.

A witness to what? You know, to the rape.

To, even to the accident.

You mean with White? What?

You mean you need a witness in addition to White?

'Who's White?' The writer.

He saw the accident? 'Sure.'

He saw the girl in the car? You bet he did.

Well, that's what I'm talkin' about.

Mm.

Mm.

[clock ticking]

Don't you touch that.

[clock chiming]

[clears throat]

[chuckles]

Excuse me.

I want them gone. I signed the permit.

I don't know how I can. I want them thrown in jail.

Sherry, Sherry. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[telephone rings]

[Sherry] 'I want them to starve to death in a great big hole'

'and I wanna go there and piss on them.'

What?

Get me the state police.

[siren wailing]

The sleepy little town of Waterford, Vermont where movie star Bob Barrenger fresh from his troubles with the law last year is once again in hot water involved in a car crash with a young, a very young woman.

Mr. Barrenger is being arraigned today for moral turpitude and several other--

Hey, hey, you better make sure you got your facts straight, pal

'cause you step off the line, I'm gonna sue you personally.

Bobby! Bobby! Bobby!

Yes. Good morning. Where are you taking Mr. Barrenger?

Yeah, we're looking for a Mr. Joseph Turner White.

What are you doing with Mr. Barrenger?

He's under arrest. Oh, good.

I'm his lawyer. And you must be Perry Mason.

Guess what. You are about one-half step from a world of hurt.

How diverting. The mayor's gonna have your ass.

Can I watch? Well, you guess what.

The mayor sent me.

I have your Mr. Barrenger with a history--

A history of nothing. He was acquitted.

Moral turpitude. What are you waiting for?

Don't say anything, Bobby. Nothing happened.

You're on my home court, friend.

I got the mayor and the town behind me.

And forget making your movie.

I may own the studio when I get through with you.

I got a civil suit. I got rape. I got collusion.

You got nothing. You don't have a witness.

And I have a witness.

Your Mr. White saw the crime. He told you that?

He didn't have to tell me that.

I need to talk to him. Would you excuse me?

Oh, you're his attorney too?

Later for you, pal. Okay.

Hey, Joe! Marty!

Bob's in the slammer. You do that, I'll do this.

What are you gonna do? Just go be with him.

Hey, Marty. Yeah, hi, pal.

I need to talk to you. Mm.

[whispering]

Okay.

He's gonna give you a couple of minutes.

What's it all about? I saw the accident.

How do they know that? You told them?

No. What did you say to them?

I didn't say anything to 'em. That's good.

Come here. That's very good.

Come here. Have a seat.

How do you know you saw it?

I don't understand. Perhaps you didn't see it.

'I don't--' 'Perhaps you didn't see it.'

[Joe] 'I-I saw it. I was there.'

You were there at..

...at 10:35?

Yeah, I was walking down the street and I remember..

I was writing a-- What glasses were you wearing?

Were you wearing your reading glasses?

I.. You told me you were writing.

Don't you wear your reading glasses to write?

'Isn't that what you told me? Hold on.'

[cellphone rings]

Yeah.

Yeah.

I gotta go to the jail.

Be strong.

What am I, what am I gonna do?

You gotta tell 'em you saw the accident, don't you?

I can't do that.

If I tell them, they'll try Bob for rape it will, it will ruin his career.

But that's what happened.

But they'll stop the movie.

Maybe there will be other movies.

They'll-they'll blackball me.

Carla was in the car, right? What am I gonna do?

Lot of hubbub in the street. I'm taking you the backway.

[sighs]

Two minutes?

Let's speak English. You've gotta help the side.

You want me to lie? To the contrary.

I want you to tell the truth.

The truth is you can't tell me to a certainty that you saw that thing.

You don't remember a gun to your head which glasses you've got on.

And if you're not sure then they've got nothing and Bob walks free.

Now this is a damn roust and everybody knows it.

The guy's lookin' for a case.

He wants to make a name for himself.

If we let him do that then we're being false to our community.

You understand? To our world.

And you're a part of that world.

I got a five-picture deal with the studio.

You stick with me, you write one, two more.

You stick with me, you'll direct the next one.

The girl wasn't in the car. We gotta go.

[instrumental music]


[male #7] 'Joseph Turner White.'

Hear ye, hear ye, Sixth District Court and in for the county of Caledonia, State of Vermont the honorable James Addison Flynn presiding.

All those with business before this honorable court draw near.

You will be heard.

Mr. White, this is a simple matter of..

Uh-huh.

'All we need's a simple fact or two.'

You're gonna give your recollections of the accident at the corner of State and Main.

Would you, please, swear him in?

[male #7] 'Raise your right hand.'

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

I-I do.

The arraignment, as we said, of Bob Barrenger the Bob Barrenger, star of "The Old Mill" about to begin shooting here in picturesque and sleepy or we should say formally sleepy..

'Claire! Is that Claire?' Yes.

'Claire!' Yes, it's..

Yes, it's Claire Wellesley.

We're going to try to get a look at her. Let's go. Let's go.

'Stay with me. Stay with me!'

'Claire!' 'Claire!'

[female #5] 'Claire.'

'Claire!' 'Claire!'

'Claire!' 'Claire!'

[bicycle bell ringing]

Morning, doc.

Morning, Billy. Where are you headed?

Down the corner to see the ruckus.

Watch the curbs now.

Good morning.

[bicycle bell ringing]

Where are you off to? I, uh..

I'm leavin'. Why?

I perjured myself.

I-I told a lie and I ruined my life.

That's what I did.

I don't suppose you could help me with that, could you?

You know, turn back the clock or somethin'?

You know, to give me back my..

...to give me back my purity?

I don't suppose you could wave your magic wand and do that, could you?

For what is truth?

Huh?

Isn't that the thing what is true?

The truth is you never should trust anybody who wears a bow tie.

Here.

A cravat's supposed to point down to accentuate the genitals.

Why do you wanna trust somebody whose tie points out to accentuate his ears?

Aren't you supposed to set an example for people?

Nope.

Just supposed to hold their hands while they die.

What-what did you say your problem was?

'Hi, doc.' Oh, morning, Chrissy.

How's the back?

[swing creaking]

[instrumental music]

I ruined my life.

Isn't that funny that you can actually do it in one moment just like they say?

I ruined my life back in that courthouse.

What courthouse? The courthouse back in town.

The town ain't got no courthouse.

What? It ain't got no courthouse.

Courthouse burned down in 1960.

Where do they hold court?

To hold court, they have to..

Science lab. The high school.

Mornin', judge. What brings you down here?

Supposed to be hearing some deposition.

Some fool saw the accident the other night.

Did the courthouse burn down? Courthouse burned down 1960.

Part of a spate of fires.

Old mill, courthouse.

Supposed to have been set by some deranged teenager.

Gave rise to the Waterford Huskies.

Train 53, take 'em out! St. Albans, Waterford.

All points east.


[woman humming]

I thought you needed to get it out of your system.

The American system of jurisprudence which differs from ours in the following respects.

They have their Bill of Rights equal perhaps to our Magna Carta.

'And they have..'

What are you gonna do? I'm gonna tell the truth.

[Doug] 'I would now like to address you on the responsibility'

'of the prosecutor's office.'

'That job is not always a happy one' but there comes a time now and then in the life of the community for the display of force.

'So be it.'

'And now it falls to my lot to join the fray' to join in battle and to exterminate by means of this criminal indictment to exterminate the vermin..

He's got toilet paper on his face.

And he's sweating like a pig.

..the license granted them by a gracious nation

'who spewed filth and degradation' and who...pollute..

Damn it. Damn it.

"Who pollute the minds.."

We're going live in five minutes.

Thank you. Do you need to clean up?

Yes, thank you. Did you get the feed?

[female #6] 'Or you got any uplink?'

'I need a confirmation..' Do something.

You tell me what to do, I'll do it.

And I was just paying off my spread in Montana.

'Watch the cameras, please.' 'Excuse me.'

Excuse me. Excuse me, sorry.

I'm here to give my deposition.

[Walt] 'Joe!'

Thank God. It's up to you, pal. It's up to you.

I'm out. I don't get you.

The girl was in the car. Mm-hmm.

I treated you like a son or a nephew--

It's not about you. It's-- No? What's it about then?

I have to tell the truth.

That, that is just so narrow. The girl was in the car.

Then you're finished in showbiz.

So be it.

And we're gonna sue you for a billion dollars.

What cause?

I don't need a cause. I just need a lawyer!

I'm a lawyer.

Howie? Yeah.

Howie, wh.. What are you doing here?

W-what am I doing here? I just.. I..

Is I just flew seven hours 'cause you asked me here.

What for? For this.

And I hope you need it 'cause it's coming out of your budget.

[humming]

Hi.

I'd prefer it if you didn't speak to me.

'I..' You know..

There's nothing you could say that could possibly make a difference.

So why don't you just save your breath?

Okay.

You forgot your case.

That's not my case. That's your case.

Oh, it's mine? What did I put in it?

Eight hundred thousand dollars in cash.

And what was it you wanted to say?

Gut yontif.

[indistinct chatter]

I'm supposed to give my deposition.

Oh, the judge will be with you in a minute.

I might have to go to jail. I'll knit you a sweater.

I might be in there a long time.

I'll knit you a jumpsuit.

Well, okay. Okay then.

I've come to give myself up.

Hi, Annie. Hiya, judge.

Good to see you, girl. I've come to give myself up.

You're gonna have to give yourself up to someone else.

I'm going to get in some golf.

Why don't you give yourself up to her? Mm?

'That's what I'd do if I were you.'

I have learned a lesson and the lesson is this.

That everybody needs a second chance.

'You, me and these fine film people here.'

You know, they have a high profile but that doesn't mean that they aren't deserving of our trust and of our respect.

Shh.

[Doug] 'And the lesson is this.'

'It is the lesson of tolerance.'

'And as we look at this industry..'

Shh.

...as we look at this clean, American industry and as I begin my campaign for congress in my aspiration toward that city on a hill

'I would like to say this that no man or woman..'

This is picture!

'This is picture!'

'Roll camera.' 'Speed.'

[male #8] '"The Fires Of Home," scene 1, take 1.'

'Marker.'

'Background action!' 'Action!'

[instrumental music]

Hold still now.

I guess that fire got a little bit exciting last night eh, Frank?

Doc, that's their nature.

You didn't have a little excitement wouldn't life be dull?

That it would.

[chuckles] That it would.

Hey, doc, what do I owe you?

Ah! You quit your kiddin'.

[laughing]

Hey, Nate, see what you can do with this.

[laughs] Fix it up good as new, Frank.

Mornin', sister.

We missed you in church today, Frank.

Sister, I've just come from a fire.

That is an explanation, Frank, but it's no excuse.

Let me help you with that.

'Sister, I didn't come here to talk about the altitude.'

[as sister] 'What did you want to talk about, Frank?'

[as Frank] 'Let's talk about something a man could get his hands on.'

[as sister] 'Frank, that's exactly what I want to talk about.'

'I wish you'd been in church today.'

[as Frank] 'What would I have seen?'

[as sister] 'You would have seen Father Mulcahy'

'Father Mulcahy, that kind, dear old man.'

'I heard he was ill.' 'He is ill.'

[as sister] 'And you would have seen him rise from his bed'

'and hobble to church and talk about redemption.'

[as Frank] 'Well, sister, if he had been talking to me'

'he'd have been wasting his breath.'

'I have no chance of redemption.'

Redemption is not offered once, Frank, but continually.

Kind words, sister. Frank, they are not mine.

And you come by next Sunday and we'll give you a second chance.

Sister, the only second chance I know is the chance to make the same mistake twice.

'Cut! That's a cut.' 'It's great, Bob.'

This is great. Bill, would you go back..

[Uberto] Down, down, down.

[indistinct chatter]

[Walt] We gotta talk about this thing.

Joe, Joe, I wanna change this.

Somebody get my driver.

We are going again. We are going again!

Great work, Bob.

'Standby. Cue, the dead horse.'

'Can we get a crate of donuts for the teamsters?'

Well, it beats working'.

[Patti LuPone singing "The Song Of The Old Mill"]

♪ I don't care if the world is waiting for the sunrise ♪

♪ 'Cause the sunrise doesn't make a sound ♪

♪ I feel your kisses burning on my tight closed eyes ♪

♪ As the old mill goes around ♪

♪ I can hear the rhythm of that old mill's jet ♪

♪ And the strain of the grainy ground ♪

♪ Mixing with your panting in a sweet duet ♪

♪ As the old mill goes around ♪

♪ A girl and a boy and a musical joy ♪

♪ At the sound of the old mill race ♪

♪ And the happy style of a country smile ♪

♪ As it sat upon your face ♪

♪ The maple leaves are rustling beneath your silken thighs ♪

♪ As I lay on my mossy mound ♪

♪ Can you hear the murmur of my soft goodbyes ♪

♪ As the old mill goes around? ♪


♪ For life was a sweet old-fashioned dream ♪

♪ And the memory lingers yet ♪

♪ And I think of our hour by the old mill stream ♪

♪ And I find that I'm still wet ♪

♪ Now the sun is hanging on the beaver dam ♪

♪ And the happy beaver's safe and sound ♪

♪ Can I hear a little of that thank you ma'am ♪

♪ As the old mill goes around? ♪

♪ Can I hear more than a little of that thank you ma'am ♪

♪ As the old mill ♪

♪ Goes around? ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪

[male #9] Would you care to identify that song for us, please?

[Walt] The song is called..

Well, the original title, which we can't use anymore is-is called "The Song Of The Old Mill" and we can't use that title because, uh that's no longer the name of the movie.

[male #9] Oh, the movie is now, of course, is called..

[Walt] The movie is now called "The Fires Of Home."

[male #9] "The Fires Of Home." And-and this movie is about?

[Walt] Well, you know, it's about.. It's-it's-it's really..

It's about many, many things and-and that's..

Which I think is-is a character of any great movie.

It means many different things to many people.

Or three things to three guys.

[male #9] Uh-huh, well, let's go to the phones.

Maurice is on the line from Medicine Hat, Alberta.

[radio static]

[instrumental music]


[male #10] Once more, and can you try to put the notes this time?