Suck It Up (2017) Script

Fixed & Synced by bozxphd. Enjoy The Flick.

I never know how to answer that question.

Uh, let me think. I...

I'm always on time.

I'm... I'm very organized with my life like that.

I'm...

I plan well. I'm a planner.

I'm also very flexible, though.

Flexible. And, um...

I think that my greatest strength, though, is that I anticipate future problems and I prepare for them.

Oh, my god. I am... I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

Mmm... I thought I turned it off.

You can take that.

No...

It's okay, um...

Where were we?

You have one new voice message.

Faye.

Argene will be here for the second interviews.

Are you free for the 29th?

Really? I mean... yes.

Yes. I will be here. Thank you.

Hi, sweetie, it's Dina.

I'm sorry I'm calling, but...

It's Ronnie.

She's getting worse.

Her drinking's out of control, and today she had an accident with the lawn mower.

I don't know if you can make the drive, but...

We don't know how to help her.


She stood still, he spun around, he took a spill, she fell down.

...It's open.

In the kitchen.

Faye! Hi!

How was the drive? You made good time.

Yeah. No traffic.

You just get off work?

No. I just can't get enough of this uniform.

Uh, that was on the porch, I did not make it.

Thank god for that.

Ronnie's gonna be really glad to see you.

I know it's been hard to keep in touch. You being away.

But best friends forever, right?

Where is our little angel?

Follow the bread crumbs.


When Dina said you had an accident with the lawn mower, I figured you'd pissed yourself...

While lawn mowing.

What are you doing here?

Besides just stealing my undies, perv.

Dina's worried about you.

She thinks you've become a danger to yourself, but...

Now that I've seen you, I've no idea what she's talking about.

Wanna hear something funny?

This was his shirt.

I know. I gave it to him.

That creed concert was our first date.

How the fuck was there a second date?

I like creed.

Well, no wonder he dumped you.

Wanna hear something even funnier?

I would like to hear something that's actually funny.

These are his pants.

What is in these?

They're like paint pants.

It's no wonder he got ball cancer.

This is nice. Kind of like old times.

So Faye, hon, Ronnie told me you got a job.

A blow job.

Not yet. I just passed the first interview.

But I wouldn't be a real teacher yet, just...

Just an art docent.

Mmm. An art docent.

It's, uh... It's like a teacher's assistant.

A job's a job.

Just adopt her already.

Where is it?

Um, Vancouver.

That's far.

Yeah, it is.

Well, your parents must be really proud, Faye.

Yeah, they might be proud if they remembered that they were parents.

Veronica.

I'm sorry. I'm drunk.

We're gonna have to make you a name tag.

Have some water, Ronnie.

Can you eat? Mm-hmm.

Ms. Dunaway.

Smells great.


Don't swallow it. Spit it out.

Spit it out.


Good morning, sunshine.

Mmm. What's happening?

What do you mean?

Are we in the mustang?

Why are we in Garrett's car?

Are we in a car?

Did you kidnap me?

Okay, that's a tad dramatic.

We are going to Invermere.

No, no, Faye, no. Pull over, please.

No, don't worry. I packed your night things.

Pull over. We're all set.

Pull the fuck over, Faye!

Turn around.

No.

Fine.

Okay, what are you gonna do? Walk home?

What is the big deal?

Invermere is cool.

Invermere is not cool.

Invermere is boring and fucking quiet.

And that's not even the goddamn point because you abducted me!

We are going on vacation.

It's gonna be fun. Like old times.

Faye, my brother just fucking died.

I'm well aware of that, Ronnie.

And he didn't just die. He died two months ago.

Oh, give me a fucking break.

We are going to a summer cottage.

It's not a rehab facility.

I don't need a rehab facility.

Your dinner table on which you vomited would beg to differ.

Fuck you!

I'll be in the car.

I'm not going to be pleasant.

I would never ask you to change.

Hi, it's Faye Baxter.

I was... I was in yesterday.

I'm so sorry. This is... This is really unlike me, but I'm not gonna be able to come in on the 29th.

This opportunity is really...

Hey, honey. Hop in the pussy wagon.

Okay, okay.

...Sorry, what was that?

Skype? Yes, Skype... Skype would be perfect.

Thank you. Uh...

I really appreciate it, Helen. Thank you so much.

Hey, look what you've done. Hey, ladies.

Oh, hey, you got any more of those?

Maybe.

Can we get a couple?

Can we see your jugs?

...Do not do it, Ronnie.

He wants to see my jugs.

How about one jug?

Then you get one beer.

...Ta-da!

Oh, yeah!

Deal's a deal.

Come on. Yes!

Ronnie!

Okay, did you want one?

Oi! Oi, boys!

Yeah!

Pleasure doing business with you!

Great, perfect.

Now they're probably just gonna follow us and stalk us.

Yeah, that's not likely.

But I like that you think that my tits are that powerful.

I wish my tits were that powerful.


You guys move the hide-a-key?

You don't know?

You do know. You're just not gonna tell me.


Yes!

It's not even noon.

You're gonna drink that?

Mmm! You're drinking just...

Are you gonna narrate the whole trip or just the arrival portion?

What do you wanna do today?

I just bought these amazing beads, so we could make friendship bracelets...

Good one.

Come on, Ronnie.


Oh, yeah.


Hey, let's go to town. I'm out of weed.

Maybe this could be an opportunity for you.

For what?

To stay out of weed.

Where are the keys? I'll drive.

No.

We can bike.

There's only one bike.

We can ride it together.

Lesbian.

Oh! What's this?

"The fun schedule."

We're not just gonna sit around the cabin all day, so...

I planned some stuff.

Snack break.

You know how you get when your blood sugar drops.

Okay, well, we gotta get to the market or else it's gonna close.

Then we'll have to go tomorrow and we're gonna miss this.

Blacksmithy lesson.

Hey, we should go to the pharmacy.

Why?

Uh, I don't know. We could get some...

No, I stocked up before we left.

No, just... Ronnie!

Ronnie! What!

Ronnie.

Alex! Hi!

Hi.

I thought that I would see you. I had a premonition.

Yeah?

I... I got your message. I'm sorry that I didn't call you back.

Um...

Alex, this is Faye.

Faye.

Nice to meet you. You too.

You're tall.

Thank you.

So, you guys want anything?

Candy?

No, no, you know, we're actually kind of on a mission, so we should hit it.

Okay. Candy.

Quick. Quickly.

Yes!

So, what kind of mission are you guys on?

Ronnie wants ganja.

Where are you headed?

Uh... you know Shamus from the launderette?

Oh, he can't help you.

Oh...

I don't know. I used to give him hand jobs.

No, I mean he's dry. He got busted.

Oh, my god, like jail?

No, uh, just by his mom.

Why don't you guys come by my place tonight?

I've got a guy.

Oh... uh... no. I don't think we can.

Uh, tomorrow? Uh, yeah... maybe, maybe, but so sorry, we're kind of on a schedule.

So... We'll be in touch.

Uh... take it easy, Alex.

...It's fine, it's fine.

Nice meeting you. ...So nice.

Thank you.

"We'll be in touch"?

I didn't know how to deal with that, man, she's the weirdest.

You can't even wait until we get home?

Nah, I don't have to wait till I get home.

Can't re-grow your liver, Ronnie.

Hey, why don't we focus on you for a little while?

You know what can regrow?

Your hymen.

No, it can't.

Can it?

Who was the last guy you fucked?

If you say Garrett, I'm gonna poop.

Okay, it wasn't Garrett.

How many have there been since Garrett?

One. One.

What was his name?

David.

What color were his pubes?

I think they were like...

Calico...

Okay.

I haven't slept with anyone.

Good.

That settles it.

Operation get Faye laid starts right now.

Put it on the fun schedule.

Okay, it's not like I can't get laid.

I wanna play, too.

Operation get Ronnie laid...

Also, starts now.

Uh, it's always operation get Ronnie laid.

Land ho!

I'm not vaccinated for this.

Well, now...

I knew there was a reason I skipped work today.

Girls, you got a band-aid.

No, but I could use some disinfectant.

What do you need a band-aid for?

Well, it's just for all these cuts. Pow!

Can I buy you a drink?

No, thank you. Absolutely.

Bobby?

Gonna need a couple of brews for these angels on my tab.

Oh, my god, you have a tab?

I sure do. That's so cool.

You like that? Yeah!

You know you ought to come back on Sundays.

We do a little mud wrestling thing and...

You know, if you get dirty, you drink for free.

Shit! What a deal! Mmm.

Sign me up.

Well, I will. What's your name?

Ronnie.

Ronnie, the wrestler. I like that.

They call me Dale.

You wanna dance?

I'd love to dance.

And how about you, red?

No, thank you, dandruff.

Whoa... this is protein powder, I think.

Can we just go?

Hey, we're gonna need a couple of shots.

Tequila!

Ready. One, two, three. ...Okay.

Ugh...

Mmm.

I like the pink ones.

Yeah? Yeah.

Go, red, you've come to life.

Cheers to that.

Yeah!


No, no. Where are you going? Red, come back.

She'll be all right.

Come here, you.


She stood still, he spun around, he took a spill, and she fell down.

She stood still, and he spun around, he took a spill, and she fell down.

She stood still, and he spun around, he took a spill, and she fell down.

She stood still, and he spun around, he took a spill, and she fell down.


Ronnie... Whoa...

We're kind of busy in here.

...Get off, please.

No, I have a mission.

You heard. She has a mission.

Okay, let's abort mission.

No... ...Seriously.

No, can't do, soldier.

I have a duty...

To my vagina.

She has a duty, red.

What about her duty?

Red, red, the future of all mankind depends on it.

Are you seriously just gonna leave me like this?

Husband!


Hey! Hi.

No Ronnie this morning?

She's still sleeping.

You know Ronnie.

I don't know her that well, actually.

I only met them last summer.

Oh, you knew Garrett?

Mm-hmm.

Right on.

Hey, what are you doing tonight? I think, um...

I think Ronnie and I might kill each other if we don't spend some time with some other people.

I was gonna barbecue around 7:00.

You should come.

Uh, Ronnie can give you directions.

Cool.

Guess I'll see you tonight then.

Did you want some candy?

Yes, yes, I did.


You're up. Ready for vision boards?

No!

Very funny.

You ever made a vision board before?

Hmm. Of course not. That would actually require thought about the future.

Why does it say, "Alex, BBQ" on there?

Oh, I ran into her downtown.

She invited us over.

Well, maybe we can just tell her we're on the master cleanse or something.

She'll understand.

What else are we gonna do tonight?

White house.

We'll hit the white house again.

As appealing as that sounds, I think I'm gonna go to Alex's.

Are you guys like... Not-friends?

Friendly.

How do you know her again?

Ah! She's like one of Garrett's random friends from summers here.

I... I just don't wanna go.

Okay.

You don't have to.

So, you're just gonna go over there all by yourself?

Yeah.

Like, you don't even know her.

Not as well as you know, say, Dale.

But, uh, I think I'll survive.


They're here.

Hello, ladies.

Uh, Ronnie, Faye, this is my roommate, Granville.

You can call me "granny."

Who likes beer?

Grab a bunch. We'll be in the garden.

Uh... bathroom?

Just around the corner.

Uh, just make sure you hold the flusher down for three Mississippi's

she doesn't know about you.

Okay.

Faye... she can't know about you.

Okay.

Alex, this is super important.

She can't know about you.

Ronnie...

It's okay.

Okay, okay.

Do you like space?

Yeah.

It's okay if you're not that into it.

Not that into it.

Get out of my house.

No, I'm kidding. That's a joke. Please stay.

Hmm.

So, you're an artist?

Uh...

Yeah, space enthusiast, really.

Made a ton of these.

Got a bunch in my bedroom if you want to...

Uh... or...

People are waiting outside, too.

So...

Uh, nice to meet you.

Uh, I'll get the chips.

What do you got? Beer.

Uh, granny, I promised them some of your Kush.

Oh, shit, Kenny cleaned me out this morning.

Fuck... ...Aren't those marijuana plants?

Yeah. But they're not ready for harvest yet.

Did you ever, uh, see one up close?

I'll show you.

Oh, no, that's cool. I see them all the time.

Please, after you.

It's pollen.

It's my kryptonite.

They're pretty, huh?

Very pretty.

What's that?

Oh, that is my pump for Insulin.

I'm diabetic.

Ta-da!

You have diabetes and asthma?

Yes, I do.

Basically superman.

Yo, hookers. We got a plan B.

Uh-oh...

What is it?

Alex said she can take us to the bowling alley to meet some guys on the weekend.

Ooh! Can you score some weed there?

Yeah, bro, we can score some weed there.

...That Shamus?

Gonna get that famous-Shamus-stank-weed.

Better than nothing, I guess.

Granville's kind of a cutie.

He's not.

Come on. You were creaming your Jean shorts for that guy.

Asthmatic, diabetic...

Space cowboy Granville.

Shut up.

Why? Come on. You're not even gonna get in once?

No. I don't want swimmer's itch.

You're not gonna get it again.

Oh, my god. It's not like chicken pox.

It's itchy for, like, a week.

Boo-hoo! We've all had chlamydia.

Mmm.

Life is so hard.

Ronnie! The sun!

Oh, my god. The sun, the water. Jesus, Faye.

Live a little.

Yeah, I'm trying to live a lot, which is why I'm avoiding a sunburn.

What's the point, dude?

You're probably gonna get melanoma anyways.

Okay, not to get all Oprah on you, but I don't love that you're putting that out into the universe.

It's not like Garrett microwaved his balls.

That was genetic. He was always gonna get it.

Well, maybe you're always gonna get skin cancer.

So, might as well enjoy a little pigment while you're young.

Ooh! Live like you're gonna die tomorrow.

How original.

Spit it out.

What?

I'm not ashamed of my behavior.

Okay, Ronnie.

You're being judgy.

I didn't say anything.

Well, you're being judgy without saying anything.

So, either speak your mind or shut the fuck up.

Okay. I think you're being reckless and irresponsible.

I'm just having fun.

Dale's truck could not have been fun.

You wouldn't recognize fun if it was sucking on your puffy nips.

I have fun.

Prove it.

Prove you're not using drunken sex as a coping mechanism.

I was slutty before Garrett died.

It's who I am. It's my fucking right.

Garrett would be so proud.

Why would I wanna make Garrett proud?

He was a fucking pussy.

And I didn't take his advice when he was alive, I'm not gonna start now.

I cannot believe you're talking about him like this.

Oh, my god. It's insane you're defending him.


Girls, these are the guys.

Oh, I see we're just in time for the gang-bang.

These odds can only help you.

Does anyone want a beer?

Yeah, a beer would be divine.

Why, yes, a beer would be divine.

Are you gonna be like this all night?

Hey, buddy. Hey, Shamus.

It's been a while.

Welcome to my bowling alley.

Hey, Zach, why don't you get these ladies some shoes?

10 and a half, men's.

I'm 7. Clean.

What's this?

This right here is my calling.

Practice makes perfect.

It's permanent.

Well, the boys help out with that. Don't you, guys?

Go ahead. Show her.

Oh...

I passed out with my shoes on.

Aww... sweet lisp.

Ronnie!

It's okay. Faye used to have a stutter.

She did this stutter poem to get rid of it.

You should teach him the stutter poem.

Cut it out.

So, uh, Alex tells me you guys are looking for some of that farm-to-table devil's lettuce.

You've come to the right place.

I don't know. Word on the street is your mama busted you.

Yeah, she might have busted me, but, uh...

She didn't bust my man Tommy over here.

Hook 'em up.

Now this stuff here...

It's my very own strain.

We call it "the walk of Shamus."

Mmm. Is it really such a good idea to have it out there just Willy-nilly?

Chill, Faye.

I'm chill. Thank you.

It's cool. Shamus runs the place.

There's no one here to bust us.

Oh, she doesn't smoke.

All right! Let's bowl.


So, those are called "quasars."

Or quasi-stellar objects.

Well, basically, they're like stars.

Except not quite, hence the name.

"Quasi."

Because they're brighter than stars.

So they can be brighter than entire galaxies.

What's so magnificent about them is that they're powered by the stuff that gets sucked into black holes.

I mean, "suck" is the wrong word. Fall.

Fall. Fall is better.

So, like, mass falls into a black hole, dies, and then its energy gets converted into the brilliant light of the quasi-stellar object.

I mean, how cool is that?

You know, the darkest, most...

Mysterious thing in the universe, this hole of death, feeds the brightest and most beautiful.

You really like space, huh?

I also like puns.

Oh, all right.

Let's hear a pun.

Oh, I... I can't just tell you a pun.

Why not?

My-my-my puns don't work that way.

'Cause they're unemployed.

One might say they're "pun-employed."

...That's stupid.

Do you want to get out of here?

Yes, absolutely.

...Oh...

Two down.

What about our ride?

Don't worry, ladies. I'll take you home.


Let's go downstairs.


Ah!

Sorry. It's okay. It's all right.

You okay?

I just have to pee.


Hmm...


Hey? Hey, good-lookin', we're here.

Hi!

...Oh!

Oh, hey... you-you okay?

You good?

Hey, what... what happened here?

Mmm.

Sometimes life gets ya.

But do you know what they say?

They say that if you have two black eyes, the universe is telling you to take a nap.

But if it's just one of them, then it's a wink.

Hey, what are you waiting for?

Look, I'm gonna take off.

What?

Look, my grandma died last year.

It's super hard, I get it.

Yeah, I bet that was hard.

Unlike your dick.

I'm gonna go.

Ha-ha! Hey, you need an invitation?

You a vampire?

Cross the threshold, vampire!

Dross... no, "cross."

Cross the threshold!

Drink some water.

Drink water...

Drink water, drink fucking water...

Fucking penicillin in that water.

I'm alive.

You okay? Let's get you to bed.

Oh! Can you do it horizontally?

Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you.

You know who doesn't have a pulse?

Who?

Shamus.

And he's vampire because you have to invite him in.

Inside. For him to come in.

Did you invite him in?

Yeah, but it's opposite day for vampires.

Oh...


Best...

Friend.


Oh...

Sorry. I'm still here.

I mean, I'm not sorry I'm still here.

I'm glad, uh...

But... yeah.

How are you feeling?

Less than fresh.

Sorry I fell asleep last night.

That's okay.

I really wanted to, uh...

You know, it's probably for the best.

Really.

Okay. Well...

Uh... I'll see you around.

Yup.

Hey! All right!

No, no, no. We didn't, uh...

Bro code. I get it.


Call me Faye.

And thank you...

For this opportunity.

A position at east cliff academy is...

The opportunity of a lifetime.

You have... no idea how much this opportunity means to me.

Yes, you do, I guess I just have to deal with it.

Dina? ...Hi, hon.

I'm making eggplant parm.

Hi!

Is Ronnie awake?

She ate the donut that I brought her and said she had plans and took off.

She seems...

The same.

How's Roger?

He joined a gym.

I wasn't sure how this would be for him, but...

That's a step, a big one.

Ronnie could use some exercise.

I'm sorry. I'm trying.

Oh, Faye, it's not your fault.

You know, Roger and I asked you to help with her, but if it's too hard...

Wha... what do you mean, "too hard"?

Just that everything with Garrett was a lot, especially for you.

I am not fragile.

I never said you were fragile.

I can handle things, okay?

I wanted to be there for Garrett and he sent me away, okay?

Okay.

How long are you staying?

I have work in the morning.

You might wanna beat traffic.

I finally got to cleaning out Garrett's room.

Found these.

That's why I'm here.

Ronnie booked it so fast, I didn't have a chance to tell her.

There's one for each of you.

From Garrett.

Roger and I thought that...

You two could use a guardian.

Garrett loved it here.

What's this?

Dandelion root tea.

Ugh!

Can we turn it into hot toddies?

How are you doing?

How come?

I mean, I know the obvious, but do you know specifically what's the worst part?

Mmm...

He's not here.

Yeah.

He's not here.

When was the last time you had a massage?

I don't know.

I think you have stagnant energy.

Ugh!

Lie down.

Don't flatter yourself.


Did you ever massage Garrett?

Yeah.

Good.

He was so uptight.

"Don't do that." "Don't say that."

"Don't wear that in public, Ronnie."

One time he caught me and our tennis coach in the ball room.

We were just making out, but he came in and...

Kneed him in the groin, and then hoisted me over his shoulder and carried me all the way home.

Probably could have gotten free, but I didn't.


Why?

Because of Garrett? He's not here. He's dead.

You don't have to be dead to be not here.


Hey.

Mmm.

No, that's all right.

It's okay.


Wait... wait.

What...


Faye, you all right?

Yeah...

Are you okay? Yeah, um...

Uh-huh.

You know, we don't have to do this.

Sh...

She... stood still...

And he...

He spun around...

He took a spill and...

...she...

Fell down.

She stood...

Still, and he spun around...

She took a spill...

And he fell down.

Sh...

They stayed apart, they wouldn't dare admit they were the perfect pair.


Hey?

Did you wanna come back to bed?


You know the raven twist rhymes?

Mm-hmm.

My mom used to read them to me when I had bad dreams.

You share so easily.

Nothing embarrassing about comfort.

Did you know Ronnie's brother died?

Garrett, yeah.

Yeah, I met him a few times.

He was my boyfriend.

Ex-boyfriend.

He broke up with me a year ago.

When he found out he was sick?

When he found out he was dying.

Their mom...

Died of cancer when they were little and...

Garrett...

Remembered watching it destroy their dad.

So...

He didn't want me to see it.

His dying.

Or at least that's what he told me.

Like I couldn't handle it or something.

Could you?

I went on my first date in a year on April fool's day.

This guy from my psychology class.

Billy. Billy Dejario.

Yeah, he told me my hair was like sunshine, so...

I got a Margarita with him.

It was going well.

You know? It was going surprisingly well.

And at a certain point he...

Got up, I think, to get a second round or something, and...

I...

Noticed that I'd missed a call from Garrett.

Fuck!

Fuck!

A year of nothing...

No contact. Crickets. And then...

I'm on my first fucking date and now you call?

What? To...

Like...

Summon me? What for? What? So you can...

It's, uh...

Say goodbye?

"I'm sorry"?

No.

I already said goodbye, and...

Your apology is nothing.

Now you know how it feels.

The silence.

And I never called him back.

He died three days later.

Talk about "the silence," you know?

And I guess that's something that I have to live with.

And...

You know, the lesson is like, always tell your loved ones you love them when you have the chance.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But...

I gotta say...

I'm living with it, and...

It makes me really happy to know that one of the last things he did was call me and I didn't answer.


Faye!

Got any snacks?

...Mmm...

Faye, are you home?

You giving me the silent treatment because I shirked your fun schedule?

Ah!

Hi, guys.

Hey, what did Dina bring us? We're so hungry.

Eggplant Parmesan.

Ugh!

Where have you been?

Oh, I ran into these guys.

Yeah, we, uh, bought a 24-pack, finished it in 48 minutes.

Fucking destroyed!

Yeah, and then I invited people for the Canada day party.

...People?

All the people in all the land.

Yo, why isn't it working?

Batman.

Hey, do you want some lemonade?

Shamus made it. It's really fresh.

Yeah, sure.

Mmm.

What?

Does anything taste a little bit...

Odd about that lemonade?

Maybe, like...

Something special.

What is it?

Ronnie, what is in this?

Weed?

Mdma.

Ronnie, I have my Skype interview in half an hour.

Oh, shit!

Why would you do that?

Well, uh, I didn't know that your Skype interview was today.

Well, when in doubt, don't fucking drug me!

Faye!

Faye, maybe we could help.

Hi, Faye.

I'm Sarah Martin.

I'm Dean of edge cliff academy.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, Dean Martin.

Is that... is that what you go by? Dean Martin?

Faye?

Excuse me? Faye?

Uh... okay... We're just gonna...

Um, tell them it was bad service.

We can't just tell them it was bad service.

Th-Th-they're not idiots.

It's-it's-it's gonna be fine.

No! It's not gonna be fine.

Do you really think that?

Or do you just always play dumb?

Because not all of us are content living at home and mowing lawns.

Some of us are going places.

And I'm going places. I need to go places.

I... I needed that job, Ronnie.

Phew!

Fuck!


Absolutely.

Okay.

I completely understand. Thank you.

Thank you. Yeah.

Great. Have a...

What'd they say?

If I go to Vancouver, they might give me another chance, but...

No promises.

That's great. That's really great.

I'm gonna take the first bus back.

Bus doesn't run on weekends.

So Monday then.

Faye?


Don't eat the party snacks.

I'm not.

Damn it!


Is that Dale?

Why is Dale here?

I don't know. I didn't invite him.

Who just shows up uninvited?

Yo, red. You got a hose?

What is the raft for?

There you go.

Grab her hair for leverage. Grab her hair for leverage.

There you go! That's what Dale taught you.

Gotta roll her over.

Get her in the deep end. Get her down in the ground down there.

Bring 'em out.

Okay. It's food. It's made out of eggs.

Scrambled eggs.

No...

It's like, uh, you bake it in the oven.

Uh... it's like a frittata but with crust.

Uh, there's a little bit of ham, some spinach, and nice feta. Come on.

Time's up.

I must pee.

It was quiche. Quiche!

Quiche? What's quiche?

Is that like a breakfast pie?

Oh, hey. Hi.

You wanna flip that one?

There's another 57 seconds left.

Oh, timer, okay.

I think it's burnt.

Oh...

Damn it! How'd you know that?

Because I'm a man.

Sometimes I feel like I need to remind people of that.

My lady.

Lookin' pretty good in that hat. It's hot.

This hat.

Any hat.

I nailed it!

Hey.

Sorry, I came in to use the bathroom.

It's right there.

I know.

How did you meet Garrett... again?

He was a candy monster. Just like you.

I know.

We had a thing.

A thing?

Nothing serious.

You're crying.

Do you know who I was to him?

I don't think I do.

I can't...

I can't imagine how you're feeling right now.

Kind of looks like you can.

No...

That's all yours.

Hola, senorita.

I'm making you margs...

Whoa, you're fast.

Okay, it's kind of gross, but I like where you're going.

Hey, hey, what's the matter? What's the matter?

Fuck off!

Fuck you!

One of Garrett's random friends?

Random friend.

Alex is not random, Ronnie.

She's fucking grieving.

I know. I know. Yeah.

I know you know. That's why you were being so weird.

Well, Faye, he asked me not to tell you.

So, what was I supposed to do?

Just throw him under the bus?

Didn't you think that that might help me?

That it might help me to know that.

No, no, of course you didn't because...

You don't think about other people.

We all bend over backwards to help you, but it would never cross your mind to help any of us.

Oh... oh! I don't ask anybody to help me, okay?

I don't need your help.

Yeah, well, that's great because you'd be on top.

Oh! Okay.


Whoa, whoa... you okay? Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Don't touch me!

Hey! Like old times.

Uh... what's different from an hour ago?

I don't want to, and you don't even know what you're doing, okay?

Oh, I... I know what I'm doing.

You don't, okay?

Screw you, Shamu!

Ow! ...Oh, shit!

Are you okay? ...Fuck!

Whoa! Occupied.

You okay? ...Don't.

Pardon?

Don't zip it up.

Are you concuss...

Jesus!

Ah!

Fuck it.

Damn it...

Okay, I got it, I got it...

Okay, okay. Wait, wait, Ronnie, Ronnie...

Ronnie, I just don't think it's gonna happen, okay?

What? You got like penile dysfunction?

No. It's just not fucking indestructible either.


You and me, me and her.

Me and her.

The bathroom is for bathroom activities.

...Is that you, red?

There's always room for one more.

...Please...

Fantastic.

Faye, this is not exactly what it looks like.

Ronnie...

This is for me from Garrett.

Who opened this?

Did you open it?

I can explain.

You can explain that Garrett left me a fucking letter and you opened it?

Yes.

Okay.

Ronnie, wait.

How could you do something like that?

I didn't think you could handle it.

Oh, my god, you have no idea what I can fucking handle. I'm sorry!

I earned that letter.

I know!

You were a fucking tourist!

So, tell me! Tell me what I missed.

That is all I want.

How do you remember him, Faye, huh?

How do you remember him?

Do you remember him fucking picking you up from the beach when you busted your knee?

Do you remember him, I don't know, asking you out to homecoming?

Do you remember him taking your fucking virginity?

Good for you, Faye, those are pretty pictures.

Me, oh, gosh, I remember...

Collar bones, and, and...

The sound of him crying at night, and...

And mixing bowls full of vomit and...

And, and how he took up prayer, okay?

He kicked you out for a reason, Faye.

And I do not pity you.

I am so fucking jealous of you.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Okay. I should be ashamed of myself?

Jesus fucking Christ. Quit your pity party.

You had the chance to talk to him.

And you didn't pick up.

What?

Yeah, I know.

And you know what else I know?

He didn't call you.

What? Yeah.

I called you.

Why would you do that?

Because...

I thought that you would come.

I, like, really needed you to come.

But, guess Garrett was right.

You couldn't handle it. And he knew that.

Even at the end. He didn't want you there!


Should we stop them?

I think they need this.

...Ooh!


Yo, what do you wanna watch?

Twins?

Twins.

Hey, Ronnie?

Mm-hmm.

I couldn't open mine, so...

That's why I opened yours.

What's it say?

Ugh!

What a shithead!

It's the same.

Yeah, our names are different.

Do you think...

That these are the only words he knew how to spell?

Probably.

"Anything you wanna say before you die, Garrett?"

"You know what?

Let's just make it a group text."

Yeah...

He wasn't really a wordy guy.

Guess nobody's perfect.

Yeah.

Not even close.

He like...

Could never really understand people with accents.

Yeah, he was a really bad tipper.

Oh, yeah. Low, low.

Embarrassingly bad.

He wasn't nice to old people.

Nope.

Mm-mmm.

He would never dance with me.

It's a crime.

He was ridiculous.

Sometimes he would come into my room just to fart.

Yes.

You do, too.

Ew! I do not.

Something you have in common.

Every holiday, I got a gift certificate from AutoZone.

Me too.

What a jerk!

Man!

One time he hit a cat and kept driving.

Oh, my god.

Yeah, that one's dark. I'll keep it to myself.

Yeah.

Oh, he breast fed until he was about four years old.

What? Yup!

He only stopped because I popped up.

Ew!

He cut me out of his life.

Yeah.

Well, he cut you out of mine.

Twins?

Do I have a choice?

Nope.

Mmm...

Thank you.


Garrett.

A portion of Garrett.

That's not all of him. The rest of him is back in Calgary.

Dina scooped out part of his ashes and put it in this jar?

Like a snack.

These are her pickling jars.

I didn't really think about it.

Portion of Garrett.

You sure about this?

Well, that's one way to do it.


Ronnie!

I'm back! Let's hit it.

Granville brought it.

What is it? Uranus?

It's a quasi-stellar object.


Hey, Garrett.

I know I'm not supposed to sit here, but...

The way I see it, if you're really up there, you can just make sure that I don't crash and kill us.

This totally works, right?

And if you're not...

Well, you're not the boss of me, you butt-face.

I can take care of myself.