Symbiopsychotaxiplasm: Take One (1968) Script

[man] Alice. No.

Alice, wait a minute. No.

Wait a minute. Don't touch me.

What's the matter with you? [sighs]

Just how stupid do you think I am?

What are you talking about?

You know perfectly well what I'm talking about.

You've really got me foxed. Really. Just look into what you've been doing.

Okay. Cut out all the double-talk. Ha!

What's so funny? You're funny, Freddie.

You're a very funny man.

You've got me foxed. Really.

Why don't you just... go away.

Why don't you just get out of my life permanently.

-Oh, stop acting, will ya? I mean, cut - -Don't touch me.

Come on, Alice. Stop acting.

No. I said don't touch me. Please. Don't ever touch me ever again. Ever.

You know, you're really acting quite impossible.

I'm not a mind reader, sport. I wish I were.

I wish I knew what goes on in that screwy little brain of yours.

How come you think that everybody in the world is stupid except for you?


Boy, you're really talking in circles.

How much of a phony can you be?

Listen. I don't have to stay here and listen to all these hysterics.

You don't even have the courtesy to tell me what this is all about.

I'm a woman.

And? I'm a woman... and not a fool, Freddie.

I know what goes on around me.

I watched you. And I watched him.

Him? Him. Yes. Him.

Some little... faggot boy that half the world knows about.

What are you, some kind of nut or something?

[man] Alice, just believe in me. Believe you? You haven't changed.

You just had me conned. Believe in you? How the hell can I believe in you?

You've been killing my babies one right after the other.

Look. I said that I want children too. Ever since we've been married, I've had abortion after abortion.

My -

Look. I want babies too. Can't you believe that?

I just want to have a child when things are right between us. That's all.

Right between us. Yes. Right between us.

Right between us. Right. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Sure.

All right. Then why don't we have a baby?

Hmm? Let's have a baby.

Well, uh -

You can - You mean just like that? Yeah. Yeah. Let's have a baby.

Well, uh, it's not the time.

That is a cop-out, you faggot.

You - Do you - Do you know what you're doing?

You keep - You keep saying these things to me.

All right? About faggot? You're projecting, Alice, because you're trying to - to see things in me that you see in your own self.

Bullshit. Ah.

You're just turning everything around to suit yourself.

You just don't want any responsibilities. You don't want any wife.

That's all part of your fantasy. You don't want marriage.

You don't want children. It's part of your fantasy that -

You just want the gay world, Freddie.

G-A-Y! Right? Huh?

The going gets a little tough... Shh! Look, you - a little too tough, and you run off. Shh!

Fuck you! [microphone feedback]

-If you're gonna talk that way - -Speaking of "fuck."

How we've been making love lately, we're never gonna have any babies.

That's the way you want it. Fuck you!

[actors chattering] [microphone feedback]

[man] But, uh, let me hear your - your - your - Let me hear the sound.

[feedback continues]

[feedback continues]

That's dreadful. What?

This is terrible. Let's see.

Is that what we've been getting all the time?

That's dreadful. Let me hear it.

[feedback continues] [soundtrack: jazz fusion playing]

[feedback increases]

[feedback continues]

[feedback increases]

[feedback continues]

[bird chirping] Here we go. That's it.

-This one goes - -What-What Maria, what are you doing?

Okay. No. This one - Where does this one go?

Uh, what -

-Maria is, if I may use the expression - -[man] 5.6 now. Yeah.

Is, uh, plugging me in. [man] Yeah. So I see.

Why don't you people get to work? Roland, where does this one go?

Put my hair right up.

Okay. Now then.

[man] You were telling me the name of the game is sexuality.

Uh, yeah. Uh, the important thing is that I wanted to make sure that, uh, everything that happens on the set -

I mean, whether it's off - off camera, or whether it's among the crew, or whether it's, uh, being shot, it has -

Thematically, I mean, we should be constantly relating to, uh, sexuality.

And sexuality - [chuckles]

-But anyway, the point is that, um - -[man] What'd you say?

Oh, here's that woman with the tits. Hey. Hey.

There's - Right down there. Get her. [man] She's a little too far away.

Yeah. No. She's coming. She's coming.

All right. All right. She's there now. They're bouncing, chaps.


[man] Oh, Greaves, you're a dirty old man.

[Greaves] No. I was just kidding. I -

No. Don't take me seriously.

Um, but anyway, uh, Terry, your - your job is that you're the, um... the, um, the person that is in charge of filming this film being filmed.

Okay? Hey. Where's the switch on this goddamn thing?

If sometimes we - you see us in trouble, then you come and help us out.

You know what I mean? [Terry] Right.

Uh, but otherwise, uh, like the - If you see cars going by, you can integrate that into the general action if you want to.

Or if you see an old lady walking a dog. Here's an old lady. Right over here.

Who's supposed to be in charge of filming the actors?

You and I are gonna be filming the actors.

The two of us... [Terry] Don't come into my shot.

Are gonna be filming the actors, uh, continuously.

You're gonna be filming me and the actors, and I'm gonna be filming the actors.

And Terry is gonna be in charge of filming the whole thing. You see?

Um, and I'm saying to him that if he sees the two of us in trouble, then he'll come and help us.

We're gonna start in another two minutes. We're just waiting for Pat.


Wanna make sure we start with a fresh magazine.

The cameras should start with fresh magazines.

Fine. That's a good idea. I'm gonna short-end this.

What's your exposure here? You're - In the shade here, wide open.

No. I'm sorry. What's your - How much footage have you -

I don't know. The footage counter's busted on this.

The footage counter's - How long you been shooting?

I'm not out of film, but I'm not sure how much more I have.

So I want to start with a fresh magazine. Right.

Uh, Bob. [man] Yeah.

Can he have another magazine?

-We got one. My trusty assistant - -[woman] I have it here.

You changing magazines? [Greaves] Another magazine.

[man] I gotta change magazines. [Greaves] Where are the people?

[Bob] We got three guys standing here. You gotta pick it up.

If he wants another magazine, somebody's gotta get it.

That's one of mine. [woman] He's got one.

[Bob] He's got one? He's camera "B."

He's gonna do a big scene.

He wants another magazine because he's already -

[Bob] Another magazine for Larner.

I got a magazine, you blooming idiot. I have it.

You got a new magazine? Here it is.

[Bob] Oh. Never mind! Never mind. It's here.


Are we ready? Who says this isn't an efficient crew?

[chattering] [boy] Wave!

[boy] Right. Hold it. Hold it, hold it!

Really. I know you're looking for a new star, a new face -

[all chattering, laughing]

Let me introduce myself. [laughing]


[all chattering] All right. All right.

I am so cute. Oh! I got it all. Really. Oh, wow.

Okay. All right. Let's - Let's go.

[crew chattering] Um...

Ladies and gentlemen, uh, can we ask you to be -

Ladies, uh-uh-uh... [girl] Shh! Shut up.

Look. Uh, we don't mind you watching, but, please, you have to - you have to cooperate with us and be very, very quiet, okay?

Okay. Because otherwise, you know, the sound system doesn't hear the actors.

So if you would just - We don't mind you watching, and we've already got you on film, so you're gonna be famous, but, uh...

[girl] What picture? [girl 2] So we can watch it.

Huh? What picture?

It - It, uh - It's a picture that's coming out, uh, next year sometime.

[boy] Aw, I'll be dead by then. No. You won't be dead.

-But anyway - -What's the name?

[Greaves] Well, the name right now is Over the Cliff Over the Cliff.

The name of the picture right now is Over the Cliff, but it may be changed.

[girl] Lady gonna jump off a cliff? No. No. We're jumping off a cliff.

Uh, anyway, the point is this, that, uh -

Be very, very quiet, and you can watch from over there. Okay?

Thank you. Okay.

[man] All right. [Greaves] Relax, Bob.

Bob, relax. Relax.

[man] All right. But wait a second. You want to start -

Bob, there's a policeman there.

Yeah? Can I see it, please?

[Bob] The permit. Permit. [Greaves] Permit. Who has the permit?

Wait a second. I gotta get it.

[Greaves] Um, where's, uh, Don Fellows?

Get up. [clicks tongue]

[man, indistinct] [man 2] It's not there.

[Greaves] Oh. Oh, I see.

Okay? Yeah. Let me just -

Take One Productions. Take the number, and I'll show you the location.

Yeah. We're gonna be shooting in the park during weekdays all next week.

Yeah. Just so we have, uh -

All right. The number of the permit is, uh -

Damn. You get up there.

Hey. Do you mind being on camera? No. Not at all.

Okay. And here's the location that we're shooting on right now.

68th Street off Central Park West. 8/2, right?

So we have it on the - on the schedule. Just so I got that information.

Sure. Fine. Thanks a lot.

What kind of movie - picture you making?

What kind? Um, well, it's a feature.

It's a feature-length, uh - It's a feature-length, uh, we don't know.

[chuckles] You don't know. It's a feature-length "we don't know."

Yeah. Right. We'll find out after we develop it.

[Greaves] The tentative title of it is Over the Cliff You gotta find that cliff now, huh? We've got it. This is the cliff.

This is the cliff? This is the cliff.

Who named it? I think Terry - Where's Terry?

You're the one that named it. Right.

Did you say Over the Cliff? [Terry] Yeah. Right.

[Greaves] All right. [Bob] Good-bye.

[Terry] Bye, governor.

[Greaves] "Bye, governor." You fucking idiot. He says, "Bye, governor."

[Greaves] Um, could you go down in there and get a shot of her sitting on the statue?

And - And Don will come up and, uh...

Terry's still shooting, huh? Start the scene from there.

Follow me? Okay. So go - You go down there.

This statue here. The Civil War.

[woman] Where do you want me to stand?

Go with you, Terry?

Terry, are you running? Yeah.

[man, indistinct]

[soundtrack: fusion jazz playing]

So this is how we're gonna take it.

Cold turkey. Gonna get this cold turkey. [Bob] You want Don?

Don stays there? [Greaves] Don stays there.

This is, uh, 13.

[Greaves] Did you slate it? Yes.

[Greaves] Okay. Action!

All right. Clear out of the way here. Clear out of the way.

Nicky, you come back this way. [man] I got you.

[Greaves] Behind me. [man] All right. We got it.


Alice. Wait - Alice. Here. No.

Now wait a minute. No. Come on. Wait a minute. Wait. What?

No. Come on. Come on. Please.

Look. Get your hands off me.

Will you - Will you please tell me what's bugging you?

Hmm? Just how stupid do you think I am?

Look, Alice. What are you talking about?

[actors, indistinct] [Greaves] Stop here.

[man] Come on, fellas.

No. Please tell me, uh, what the problem is.

Wh-Why are you acting so funny?

[Greaves] Jonathan, you've gotta come on this side.

You're funny. You're funny, Freddie. [Greaves] Stop. Stop.

You're really a very funny man.

[Greaves] Let's get the crew out, please.

You know, you - you really have me foxed.

Why don't you just get out of my life, Freddie, huh?

Just get out permanently, once and for all and forever.

Oh. Oh, now, come on.

Look. Will you stop acting? Take your hands off me.

Well, stop acting. Take your hands off me.

You know, you're acting absolutely impossible. I'm not a mind reader.

[Alice] Boy, I wish I were. I sure as hell wish I were a mind reader.

[Don] It'd actually be nice if we could have a little more time to walk into it.

This is what I'd like to do. [Greaves] I don't want you to get into -

No. If we're going to look as if - as if I've been following her in the park for 20 minutes...

Right. I'd get about 20 feet beyond her...

Sure. Fine. And then run up and catch up with her.

So on my first "Alice" it's, like, the first conversation I've had with her in half an hour. Right.

So it just depends on about where you want, uh -

That to commence, that dialogue to commence.

By the edge of the grass? I - I would - Somewhere in here. Okay?

Um, what's happening is that, uh, we're getting too much of a clutter, you know, of people -

[woman] Am I walking too fast? [Greaves] Yes. I think you are.

Don't get, uh, behind them.

You know, don't get - Stay - But stay - stay behind the camera.

If you could, uh - If you could take it - If you could take it slower -

-See, I have a feeling - -I mean, pull away from him.

I have the feeling, you see, that she is going home.

Right. And that's it. She's going home.

And she's, like - You know, she's moving. All right. Then look, uh -

So what I'll try to do is walk slow but look like I'm walking fast.

I don't know how to do that, but -

[Greaves] You know, you've really gotta stop her.

[Terry] I hate to tell you guys, but you're shooting in such a black thing that you're not gonna get anything.

What have we got?

I can see it. You're either f/1 .5 or 1 .2.

F/2? I.2. And you have a 2.8 lens. So -

[Greaves] Yeah. Um...

I think it'll be rather - rather rather underexposed.

[Greaves] All right. Um...

[man] Camera "B" and "C" are both rolling, but, uh, there are no slates for this.

[Bob] Personal note from Mr. Rosen to the assistant editor.

Uh, the reason why all these slates are so fucked up is because they're not sure whether or not the action counts more or the slates count more.

And so sometimes you get the slates and sometimes you get the action.

So have fun, bubbe.

[audio tape rewinding]

[man] This is embarrassing.

[Bob] All right. We just had a jam in a magazine. Cut.

[man] First marker. [woman] Speed.

[chattering] [Terry] Second stock.

[Bob] You think it's the stock?

-[Terry] I'm just worried, you know - -[man] How's yours?

[woman] Roll jam. Are you rolling?

[man] Yeah. [man 2] Rolling. Go ahead.

Roll "X" 1. [woman] This is the third slate.


[Terry] What were you saying, Bob, on all this?

Well, we're just sitting around here and, um, we're just gonna rap a little bit about the film.

-Um - -[man] All right. Well, maybe we should -

And we'll - You know, we'll get into it.

And when we get into it, you know, uh, the people out there will understand.

You know, they'll catch on. And, um, you know, we'll explain it as we go along.

Okay. But I think maybe we should say just exactly how it occurred to us to be here this way, uh, without the director... [Bob] Right.

Uh, without the actors, um, and in something which, uh, we know is not a part of the film, at least not as far as we know.

We were sitting around the other night, and we - and in talking, a few of us - we realized that here is a - here is an open-ended film with no plot that we can see, with no end that we can see, with an action that we can't follow.

We're all intelligent people.

The obvious thing is to fill in the blanks, to create for each of our own selves a - a film that we understand.

And if we try to think about the reasoning of the director for allowing us the opportunity to do this, giving us the circumstances that enable us to be able to sit here, we can only conclude - at least we did last night - that he wanted it like this.

[Larner] Terry, why don't you cut? I'm holding -

[Bob] What? [Terry] Don't run two cameras.

[Larner] 'Cause you can't get it. [Terry] Please. Let one person run it.

[Larner] Give me a tail slate then, please. Thank you.

[Terry] Please. Run one camera at a time. Okay. Now the thing is, we were sitting around, and we were talking about this, and it just happened.

You know, just like that. Because there we were, and we were talking.

Just - There were, like, five of us. Five of the members of the crew.

That's all the people. All the people who are sitting here right now, you know, are members of the crew.

You know, the director does not know that we are photographing this scene.

We're doing it on our own.

And we were sitting there, and it occurred to us, while we were trying to figure out what the film was about, you know, that we should be filming this.

[Terry] Yeah, he wants us to help him. Right.

Because we're really the only people who are in a position, so far, to be able to comment, you know, about the film.

Because the director, Bill Greaves, he is so far into, you know, making the film that he has no perspective.

And if you ask him, "What is the film about?" you know, he just gives you some answer that's just vaguer than the question.

I mean, that just is so vague that you - that it, you know - that it'd be better if you hadn't asked the question in the first place.

And if you ask the actors what they think the film is about, all they can tell you is what they thought of the lines that they were reading.

They're just plugged into just one line.

If there's a line like "Come on, sport," you know, "Give me a chance" - you know, some banal piece like that, they can say, "Well, I didn't think that line was good.

I mean, I would have, you know - I would have liked to - to have read it differently with a different line."

So they really don't know what's happening either.

Now we've been working on this thing for, like, four days.

And we've all been, you know, more or less, uh, near where the action was taking place.

So we are the only people who can really sort of function like a chorus, you know, to figure out what we're actually doing here.

[Terry] I think it's our obligation to function.

I think that this point has been well established now.

[Bob] Right.

Um, uh, the question was asked to me this morning, as a matter of fact -

I believe, uh, Phil, uh, you asked me something about what did I think about what was gonna happen tonight?

When we stood outside over by the truck? [man] Tonight?

Yeah. And I told you to save it till tonight. You had some opinions.

What were your opinions about Bill Greaves?

Well, number one, I don't -

Uh, he doesn't know how to direct. He's into blocking.

That's all he does. He sits down, and he gives movement.

Um, after reading about something about what his film is based on, he's not doing anything which he - he has put down on paper.

There's no communication between him and the actor -

[man] Have you read the presentation plus the script?

Uh, yes. [man 2] Oh, so you know more about what's in his mind than I do. Maybe. Yes.

From a technical point. [man 1] Has he talked with you?

No, he hasn't. [Bob] Huh.

[man 2] What is - instead of looking at it this way, instead of, uh, commenting on the goodness or badness of Bill's direction... maybe it would be more useful to talk about how interesting the non-direction is.

Because it doesn't make any difference at this point whether Bill's direction is good or bad.

Bill's direction has enabled us to sit here and talk like this, has compelled us even to be interested this way.

And so it's really his non-direction that interests us.

Right. Let's make one thing clear. I mean, before we go any further.

I mean, this is a note, you know, sort of to Bill - you know, when you watch this, Bill - and to anybody else out there who may be watching it too if he decides to put this into the film.

Um, we are not trying to take the film away from Bill Greaves.

[man 2] No. Just for two hours. [woman] I disagree.

Well, for two hours. All right. But he's got the choice to, you know, uh, to edit any - this stuff any way he wants.

So, uh, so we're not, you know -

It's not like we got together to rape the director.

[man 2] Right.

All right? I disagree.

You think we are doing that? No. I think the basic premise is wrong, because I think that a director's film is is his mind, photographing the world.

And I think if you say that you're gonna show him what's in his mind or what ought to be in his mind, then - then you're - you're taking away a director's film from the director.

[Bob] He doesn't have to use any of this. [woman] No, he doesn't.

But to clarify the action. [all talking over each other]

[man] The word used was "rape."

[Terry] I think the thing in our minds is we wonder if the director knows what's in his own mind.

[Bob] We don't know.

[woman] We have to allow him that privilege.

Or I would say that, if I were a director, I would like to be allowed the privilege.

[man] We are not trying to tell the director what's in his own mind.

I think the director had this in mind.

Don't you see? This is a movie where the director plays a different role, it seems to me, than in other movies.

Here's a director who sets up a situation, brings a crew of people who can think and doesn't tell them what's gonna happen and does exactly what Phil says.

Let's take that for what it is and say that it leads to our participation in it.

[Bob] Right.

[man] In this sense we're not raping Bill or telling him what's in his mind.

We are doing our function.

Our function in the film. [Bob] That's right.

[man] Which is what? [man 2] Do what we're doing. This here.

That it must have taken, you know, some real great inner need, whether or not Bill is capable or cares to articulate it consciously, all right?

That nobody would come up with such a crazy idea for a film.

All right. Barbara, you want to move out of there?

What's the situation with, uh, Roland? I mean, will he always be over -

[Bob] He's doing the job of three people. That's what I want to know, because I -

He can't do it all. No.

But if Roland is gonna do the job of three people -

All the magazines - All the magazines should have a piece of tape on them.

Every magazine. And three magazines should be assigned to each camera.

Yeah. Fine. All right?

And on the piece of gaffer tape on the magazine, you write what roll number you're at. Right.

If it goes back to Roland and lies around, he'll always know which one it belongs to.

Yeah. But what I'm suggesting now is that Roland be put in charge of all equipment.

-And not - -And not, uh - Well, wait a minute.

Who's gonna do your thing? Um - No. All right.

What we'll have to do is have Roland in charge of the equipment in the mornings.

Before we come and see that everything's sorted out.

Once we get everything - Today. Yeah. No. I'm just -

First day. When we get everything sorted out, you won't have any problems.

We're exploring the problems. The magazines haven't been marked yet.

When they get marked, you won't have any difficulty.

-[Bob] Uh, I don't understand your - -[Jonathan] All right.

[Bob] I mean, I understand your unwillingness...

[Greaves] We can go over here. Let's take these chairs over here.

To change the tape every time you change a magazine.

[Jonathan] You got a lot of empty reels.

[Bob] We have established that as a convention for the editing. So -

Doesn't matter. [man] Otherwise we'll lose time like mad.

He has to run all that off. Unless - Unless there's something happening that is fantastic, you know, where you do a 10-second magazine change, and you must have that sound guy -

[man] I can do that fast. All right?

Unless something like that is happening, then - and only then - you know, run on - you know, run a second magazine onto the same tape roll.

Otherwise, keep them separate. Okay? All right. Very good.

What are you doing? Want a slate?

I'm slated. Huh? It is. You want - Hmm?

[man] We don't need you, Bob Rosen. We don't need you.

[woman] I don't know where you are, mister, but I do know I - I just want you to get right out of my life.

You have been killing my babies one right after the other, and you want me to believe in you?

All right. Now - Now don't you think that I want to have children too?

All right? But I, uh - But I want us to, uh -

-uh, to be right before we start having -Bullshit! That's a lot of bullshit!

All I've known is I have had abortion after abortion after abortion ever since we've been married.

And I'm - I'm just putting an end to all of that.

I mean, you've ruined my health because you're sick.

Okay. All right. Fine. But you're not gonna destroy me.

Now, Alice -

Every time you've had sex with me, it's as though you've raped me.

You know, I'm not some kind of a whore that you just go and get your kicks in.

I mean, who wouldn't be cold and frigid with somebody coming on like a goddamn fucking little Nazi storm trooper?

[Don] Lookit, I -

[Greaves] All right. Uh, okay.

This is a pretty long scene, isn't it?

[man] No kiddin', dad.

Wow. You're gonna have to have movement in sections too unless -

I guess not when you shoot like this. Well, yeah. No, uh -

'Cause I was thinking in terms of light setups and everything else.

The important thing - The important thing is that you -

And you can do anything you want.

I mean, because, see, we're absolutely disconnected from everything.

This is the beauty of this kind of shooting.

You don't have to worry about a thing.

You just do your thing. All of these guys are absolutely geared to function in terms of the reality that's happening at that moment.

They're not - They're not in any way, um, uh, dependent, you know, on something being lined up properly.

They'll - They'll get it. Don't worry about it.

You just go ahead and do, you know, whatever it is that is organic to you and organic to the moment for you.

You know what I mean?

Well, we'll just do it section by section.

But by the end of the day, what I would like to do, really, is run the whole thing nonstop, you know.

'Cause you will have committed it. Don't you think so, Pat?

Right. [giggles]

[Greaves] If we do it section by section, we'll kill two birds with one stone.

On the one hand, we'll be able to make sure that we've got each sequence to, in a sense, our satisfaction.

Then at the end of the day, we'll run the whole thing, uh, completely nonstop.

You know, with all the cameras, everything going at once.

And then we'll see what happens? Okay.


Alice, wait a minute. No.

Alice, come on. Come on. No.

Come on. Don't touch me.

Alice, for Christ's sake, what is eating you?

Boy, just how stupid do you think I am?

What are you talking about?

You know perfectly well what I'm talking about.

I wish - I -

I wish you would just tell me what is... bothering you.


What's so funny? You're so funny.

That's what's so funny. You're really a very funny man.

[sighs] Alice, uh, you really have me foxed. You know that?

Why don't you just... get out of my life, huh?

Just once and for all, permanently. Just get out of my life.

Oh, come on.

[gasps] Look. Will you stop acting? Come on.

Look. For the last time, will you please tell me what is bugging you?

No. You tell me what is - or better yet, who is bugging you.

You're certainly talking in circles.

Am I really? Am I really?

Well, just how much of a phony can you be?

Look. I don't have to stay here and listen to these hysterics, you know.

You could at least have the courtesy to tell me what is going on.

You know, I've really just put up with your escapades long enough.

I really have. I've just about had it.

[dog barking]

You - You don't even have the - the courtesy to tell me what's going on.

I am a woman.

[laughs] And?

I am a woman, Freddie. I am not a fool.

And if you think I'm gonna stand around like some idiot with egg on my face while you play your friggin' games, you've got another thing coming.

What? I -

I saw you. I saw you looking at him... and I saw him looking at you.

I saw that whole thing. H-Him? What-What -

That's right. Him. That's right. Him. Him.

A little faggot that everybody knows all about.

Alice, what are you, some kind of nut?

Look now. I have put up with your escapades long enough.

-I mean, I saw you two just - -[Greaves] Cut. Sorry.

Uh, we - we ran out of film there.

Uh, do you want to, uh - Well.

Um, what we'll do is pick it up again. All right.

We ran out of film there. All right.

-And then you got the squad car. You got - -We got the squad car, which is all right.

There's nothing wrong with that. Uh -

So we'll, uh, pick this up from here. Okay.

Um, how do you, uh - How do you, uh -

How do you feel about the scene since you've, uh, you know, done it the last time?

I mean, have any thoughts come to mind?

Anything about that -

I feel I want to - I want her lower. Huh?

I want her lower. Lower?

Yeah. I want her, uh - I felt there was - I was doing too much overacting last time.

And, you know.

You felt it was too broad. I need more - I need more time.

Yeah. I need lots of time.

-And that's why I'm trying to - -Yeah. Take your time. Okay.

Just - And I have a tendency to rush. Mm-hmm.

I've always had that. Mm-hmm.

Plain old insecurity. That's all, baby. Oh, listen, honey.

[Don] Well, you're also conscious of film going. See?

That's the - When you rehearse there's no film, and you suddenly hear the clickety, clickety, clickety, clickety, clickety click.

I don't. I do. I sure as hell do.

How do you feel, uh, Don? I'd just like to act better. That's all.

[Greaves laughs] That's my problem.

Well, uh -

Do you feel that you're more, uh, in just the short -

Yeah. I feel better. I feel much better. Do you feel more comfortable about it?

Uh-huh. You feel more involved in the -

Mm-hmm. Um...

I don't feel more involved. I feel more comfortable.

I would like to get more involved.

It'd be nice to start all over again if we could, because that was kind of rehearsal time, I think.

[Greaves] Yeah. Okay. [Don] And it was -

Want to run it from the top?

I was trying to space it and figure where I'd catch her here. And, uh...

[Greaves] I would basically play it in this direction.

Is there any danger of stuff being up there but nobody there?

How about bringing the tripod in closer so we can get a closer look on them?

But nobody's watching, I don't think.

I know what you got. I saw - I saw how close you could get.

[Terry] I get more than a full head. Yeah. I know.

Yeah. [faint] But if you came a little closer -

[Jonathan] There's no mike on Bill, man. Where's that mike?

[no audible dialogue]

[Don] No, but it's kind of -

It was kind of funny. I - She kept wanting to get together and rehearse.

And I kept - And so I'd say, "Okay."

And then we'd have some time, and then she would change it.

So I finally said - "Well," I said, "Thursday morning we'll get together and we'll run lines the way you do when you're on a soap opera."

And Pat said, "I don't do soap operas."

So, it's a good thing to be independently wealthy. That's all I got to say.

A good thing.

Slate me. All right. [man] Yeah. Please.

Here we go. Go on, Don.

[Don] What? You are being used.

Oh. As what? [clapping]

A slate. As a slate?

Okay. Now what are we - What'll I do? What'll I say?

Why? Are you taping that? Sure.

You dirty rat. We tape everything.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Don't you dare.

Oh, that would be unbelievable.

[Bob] The thing is that it's not like Edward Albee, you know.

[Terry] Just hold it one second. What?

Four, roll two. Go on. Right.

It's not like Edward Albee.

I mean, Edward Albee writes, you know, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

And George and Martha are superdramatic people who are given lines that are brilliant lines.

[Jonathan] That's good writing. Fantastically brilliant. That's right.

This is not good writing. This is bad writing.

This script is not good writing, and I think that has everything to do with it.

Exactly. We're not in a dramatic bag here. We're somewhere else.

On the other hand, human life isn't necessarily well written, you know.

Excuse me? Human life isn't well written.

Right. That's right. That's the whole point. That's the whole point.

Here we're confronted with one of the ultimate banalities of life.

And a pair of actors says this ultimate banality.

And Bill has given them these lines to play in the first place, um, and then tells them how to say it, um, and the actors try to find the meaning in it.

Now, I look at it this way. I see every American man at some time in his life, saying these lines to every American woman.

Every American woman says it to every American man.

And where are we? Nothing changes. Nothing is revealed.

And it's as if these lines were planted in their heads when they were born.

If they knew when they were three days old that one day they'd say to their wives, "You're cutting my balls off."

And then every woman knew, when she was a little girl, that someday -

Here's this line in her head, um -

You're, uh - You're - You're ineffectual. Some variety of "ineffectual."

-You're a faggot, or - -[Bob] "You can't allow me to be a woman."

You're a faggot, you're weak, you're this, you're that. It's doomed to happen.

Uh, so, h-h-here's Bill.

He's the director. And this is the sense - He's the director.

He writes this dialogue and hands it to poor Freddie and poor Alice.

But what - Yeah, but what throws me is that he's, in a sense, written himself a part in the film, and as soon as you turn the camera on, he turns on.

-I think I said to you -[woman] Turns off?

Turns on. And he's like a bad actor. He turns on.

And he doesn't turn off into his natural self till the camera stops.

This throws me every time, because there's Bill throwing lines away -

[people speaking over each other] But Bill thinks of himself as an actor.

Bill is an actor. He's gonna protect his actors.

[Terry] I think Bill is a bad actor... That's immaterial.

And somehow he's trying to live out his actors' lives through this film.

[Bob] But Bill acts off camera too. I know.

That's one of the strange things about this film.

He's a better actor off camera than on.

When he comes on to people and he says, you know - and he says, you know, something like, "Hello, my boy! How are you doing? Hmm?

"Genius! Beautiful thing you did there! Fantastic!" You know?

I mean, that's acting. But this is the way -

[laughing] [Terry] Bill comes right through that!

[laughing] But - But -

But that's the way he does that, and he's acting even then.

It's like somewhere the director is hiding. You know?

And I think he's making this film, you know, to get it out into the open, that he has, in some way, some kind of need to find out where the line of his acting and everybody else's acting, you know -

I mean, where that drops off, where it stops, you know, being - doing - doing things because - because - because, um - because a certain - you know, giving somebody a certain reaction because it's called for, because he needs to get something out of them - you know, where you pass beyond that line of manipulation to where you're just being yourself.

When Bill is himself, he's very, very quiet. He doesn't do that at all.

[Jonathan] What does that have to do with this film?

Well, I think this is one of the reasons why he's making the film.

[Greaves] Come on! Come on! Come on!

Come on. We're gonna have a picture, folks.

It's hard to believe, but it's gonna happen.

Come along. Come along. Actors, please. Places, please.

Jonathan. Mr. Larner, your presence is desperately requested.

Uh, okay.

Listen, are we making a movie, or are we not?

Did you get that? [loud thump]


[Greaves] Incidentally, look - Listen. My microphone didn't -

[Terry] This is camera "C," roll three. [Greaves] Nobody cares.

[Greaves] Sy's always in the fucking way.

This is the class picture here.

Sy's safari outfit.

Now, what is it you want to know about me?

Well, you wanted to say a few words for George Wallace.


Yes? I'm -

I was stamping. Listen, uh, Terry, incidentally, this afternoon, uh, after lunch, we have the camp version of this picture starring you and Jonathan in the leading roles.

[man] Steve, do you need a slate?

Camp version? I thought that's what I was doing now.

Um - [laughs]

[Bob] Why don't you move it. Move it closer.

Where am I coming from? To my right.

-Yeah. If she says - -Now, wait a minute. Don is gonna be here.

That's right. That's what always happens to the man - back to the camera.

No, you know there'll be a camera over there.

Isn't there somebody my size who could just wear the jacket?

I'll phone the dialogue in. [laughing]

Oh, these super commercial stars, huh? [Don] Now, how can I say - That's right.

Now, where's the product that I hold?

Gee, if I don't have a product, I'm helpless.

[Terry] That's what she's complaining about.

Okay, now, um -

Every time I try and grab the product, she says, "Don't touch me."

Listen, I'm trying to direct a picture. I'm sorry. Okay.

You're quipping all the time, you see? We're serious people.

I know that. And you don't realize that.

All right. Now?

How now, brown cow? Speak up.

Why? What's the matter? We're having trouble on her microphone.

Are you? Oh. Well, then we'll change microphones.

No, no. Is that the same mike that -

Same thing. This morning, I thought it was gone, but it's not.

Let me hear that. Is it taped properly?

Is - Is it taped on?

[Maria] Had the same problem this morning.

[static on headset]

How now, brown cow? Can you hear me? [Don] She has a rattling rib cage.

[Pat] Can you hear me? Yeah.

Like that? Turn her off.

[static fades]

[Greaves] All right, let's hear it. Talk to Don.

How now, brown cow? How brown, now now?

This is the way the world runs - ends.

[Pat] This is the way the world ends - not with a bang, but a whimper.

[Don] Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their party.

I - I could play it kinda like this, and then she could talk into my mike.

[Don snickers]

[Don] Did you get that? [Greaves] Let me speak to you a moment.

[Don] I'm not sure I wanna speak to you! [Greaves laughing]

[audio static]

Listen, um, I think that, uh, that, you know, you had the impulse to use certain things in relation to her that turn you off.

Do you know what I mean? You started to move in that direction.

I'm using her. All right, but let's explore it.

Take my cock out and flog her with it.

All right, but let's - [chuckles] You got that?

No, let's use it much more fully.

Don't inhibit yourself in this area. Just - Just explore physically what you -

You know the thing that kinda bothers me, that I'm bugged, and that is that I don't know whether to play physically, uh, a, you know, bisexual, like [bleep] or -

[laughs] No, I'm being very serious.

No, n-n-no names, please. Oh, I see.

I don't know whether to be a little faggy...

Yes. Right. Uh, or not.

I have explored the kind of thing, and I don't know whether this is a faggy fag or a butch fag.


Whether it's a guy that goes around and says, [gruff voice] "All right, you sons of bitches, all right, you cock - you motherfuckers."

You know, and it turns out he's a fag, because he's playing the masculinity thing to such an extreme.

It's a joke. [Greaves] Yeah. Yeah.

So I don't know whether to come in with the chain and the black boots, or, uh - or to just play it, uh, straight.

[Greaves] Which would you prefer to play? What - What -

Well, in a way, I, um - in a way, I'd like to be a closet fag.

You know, the kind that nobody ever says.

Like there are people that we know who, since I now can't name names.

And you finally say, "What? Come on!" And you finally discover that it was true.

Yeah. Right. Right.

Well, let's play that. Let's play that kind of a fag, you know.

A closet fag. You know. Okay? [mouthing words]

[Don] Well, then I'll just go ahead and I'll just play it straight then.

[Greaves laughing loudly]

[Greaves] Oh, that's too much.

Okay. All right. Terry, I need another sync.

If it's not going well, I'm going to stop it.

Do you know what I mean?

It was going well. That's all I can tell you.

And I think you just have to... believe, uh, when I tell you that it's going well.

[soundtrack: fusion jazz playing] [no audible dialogue]

Okay. All right, let's take it on from this - this point.

Um, Terry?

Uh, we're gonna go on from, uh, from the point where we were at.

[Greaves] All right, take the freedom to move around in this general area here, and let's take the basic situation.

And, um - And, uh, improvise, uh, on that basic situation.

Okay. Kinda the same story line then, huh?

I think so. And see what happens. Okay.

Oh, we're walking in?

No, you're already in. We're in.

We're already in? I'm trying to get in! That's the problem with the whole scene.

That's what clutters up the park. Officer!

[chuckling] That's true. That's true.

Where are they when you need them? Would you believe that?

And I'm talking about those people throwing -

Okay. You're absolutely right.

Okay, let's settle down. [Pat coughs, clears throat]

I gotta figure out something. Were you running -

All right, I'm gonna try something differently.


[Bob] That discussion is a discussion between Pat and Don.

[Jonathan] Don, clap your hands. [handclap]

[Bob] We'll call action.

Are you going home? [Don laughs]

[Pat] From here? Yeah.

[Don] Are you rolling? Yeah.

Alice? Come on! Can't you wait - Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. I can't -

What? Just leave me alone. Okay?

Just leave me alone.

Well, the least you can do is have the courtesy to tell me what's bugging you.

All right? Come on.

You know.

Jesus Christ, I thought once we get married, you know, you'd change and - [scoffs]

[laughs] [mocking laugh]

You know, I really don't have any idea what you're talking about, Miss Balls.

[sighs] Listen, you skinny little faggot.

I am fed up - I am absolutely fed up with this shit.

Half the time we go out, wherever we're going, you're... trying to get with somebody. No - All right, give me an -

Give me an example. Or on somebody.

I don't know what you boys do. Give me an example then. All right?

You sure as hell don't do anything with me.


Oh! I what?

You heard it. No, I just wanna hear it again.

You heard it. And who stops me?

I never stop you. I-I can't even get started!

-You stop every - -That's your problem.

You go see the head shrinker.

I-I have, haven't I? Right? Mmm. Three sessions.

Fine - Oh, no, more than that. More than you know about.

Five sessions. More than you know about.

And all I can say is, it's about time you started, 'cause you need it.

Remember, the person who says the other one is sick is always the sickest of all.

Ah. Ha! You're the fag.

I am not. The fuck you're not, boy.

That's something you keep hanging me with, and I am not.

The hell you're not. I am not. You can't give me one example.

I just did. Oh, no. You said something about today.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

I talked also about the first year we were married.

I'm talking about today.

-Chuck, Tim - -You've already talked about that.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Tell me about today.

We talked about that. That's over with. That's right.

Yesterday you were a fag. Today you're not.

Tomorrow you're just going to fuck the little rabbits or chipmunks here in the park.

How about that, huh? Why don't you try a mosquito next?

You are really sick. You're damn right I'm sick.

I am sick of you!

You have got to believe me. Okay, let's cut it here.

-[Pat] See? I mean, this is - -[Greaves] No, no, no, take -

No, no, no, no. Take it easy. Take it easy.

[Pat] Why should I take it easy? Why? It's going very well.

It is not, and you know it!

[Don] No, I think she's upset, 'cause I think she was building toward the big climactic shooting or something.

[Jonathan] This is tail slate. [slate raps twice]

[man] Uh, Pat has just slightly flipped out.

Unfortunately, both cameras ran out. They're changing magazines.

Bill is on. I'm gonna stay with him till I run out.

[Maria] I was saying that, in a way, we are criticizing that he doesn't know at times what he is doing.

But I think this is what he wants. This is what he is looking for.

It's a certain experiment.

According to the synopsis, or the idea of the film, it's, uh, a conflict between him and the actors in a way that he is doing a test screen, or he is doing just one dialogue.

Now, he is experimenting the different ways of directing this same dialogue.

But why film it? No, no, no -

-Well, because the only way he is - -Why give them lines?

Well, the only way - He is - Yeah? We're saying that -

We're saying that giving them lines -

You give them the lines, and then each one acts it out differently.

In that case, you shouldn't do that. You should give them a story.

And then they bring out the lines. Something else will come out of it.

Action is not the problem here.

So what if they're running up a hill or sitting on the bench?

It can be anywhere. It can be on the moon.

[Jonathan] If he wanted to do this, he could do it on a stage.

Or he could just simply do it.

He's actually making a film of this. It's not merely an experiment.

It's an experiment that's culminating in a film, and that film is not designed for Bill to keep in his basement.

It's a film that's designed to play.

It's a film that's designed to reveal something, to be a work of art. How, in that sense -

Well, first of all, he can do a lot of work with these different - with all this footage in the editing room according to how the film is edited, because it's the type of film that you can edit in 300 different ways.

[Maria] Did you read the concept of it? No, I didn't read the concept of it.

And I don't know whether we ought to bring the concept in, because Bill hasn't mentioned it yet.

[Bob] I read the concept, and the concept doesn't help you at all. Not one bit.

No, the point is, I don't see where there's a beginning or a middle or an end.

I don't mean in a conventional story fashion.

But everything we shoot is the same.

Rather, let's be frank, indifferent actors.

Sort of - Stage actors, not film actors, so they're all -

Which, as I said, it would be great on Sony videotape. You could do a critique.

But I don't see where there's any build in the film at all.

[Larner] Well, now you're getting down to the nitty-gritty.

Every situation is new.

Not bloody much is happening, if you ask me.

[Barbara] I think there is! Tell me. What is happening?

I've gotta unload myself.

[Bob] Why don't you think that there's nothing happening?

-It seems to me - -[Terry] You're blasting your own parts.

That - Not having read Bill's concept, it seems to me there's some exploration of the levels of reality, um, and the supra-levels of reality.

So this is even another level of reality that we're establishing here.

It may be the biggest put-on of all time that - that the celluloid -

[Bob] Recognizing the reality or non-rea Trying to establish that is useless.

For all anybody knows, you know, Bill is standing right outside the door and he's directing this whole scene.

[Barbara] That's what I'm saying. All right? It could be. Nobody knows.

Maybe we're all acting. All right?

Maybe we're all acting. I mean, I'm acting, you know, and that's it.

I mean, I was - Bill could have stood outside of the door and told me, "Now, Rosen, when you get in there, uh, tell them about this when you get to a certain point."

Nobody out there knows whether or not we're for real.

And what is being revealed?

[Jonathan] My whole point is that nothing is being revealed, and that's the genius of this film, if there is a genius.

I think the genius of this film was that it was provided that somewhere during its filming, the crew should decide to act as an independent unit, come into a room and talk about this film, and thereby, possibly, to change the end of it.

That this was planned, consciously or unconsciously, by Bill.

[Terry] You believe in God after all. [all laughing]

[Greaves] Uh-uh-uh. Marvelous. [laughing]

[all chattering] Okay, um...

[Pat] You have been killing my babies, one right after the other, and you want me to believe in you?

You come on like a goddamn little Nazi storm trooper.

You just don't want any responsibilities.

You don't want any wife. [Don] That's all part of your fantasy.

You don't want marriage. You don't want children.

The going gets a little tough, a little too tough, you run out. Shh!

Fuck you!

-If you're gonna talk that way - -Speaking of "fuck," boy, how we've been making love lately, we're never gonna have any babies.

That's the way you want it. Fuck you!



[Jonathan] I'm rolling.

See, that's the whole thing - a faggot is not a homosexual.

A faggot is a certain kind of mentality.

And Freddie happens to be a faggot, but not because he may or may not be homosexual.

He's a faggot. He doesn't know what he wants, and he's, like, a faggot.

This is a very strange thing, because all I really know is myself, and all I really know are the people I really know.

And I don't know anybody here except a few, but I really don't know them.

And having - And being forced, in a way, to listen to this sordid conversation -

'Cause you haven't heard it.

You haven't been here for eight days and listened to this sordid, horrible conversation over and over and over again, with black faces, white faces, tall ones, old ones, young ones, skinny ones.

You know? Convincing ones, unconvincing ones.

It's, you know - It really - It does funny things to you.

All right, all right, all right. So what else can we do?

We've got all this equipment lying around here - Look.

Here's a tripod, there's two still cameras.

There's three Éclairs, there's an Arri S. We've got three Nagras.

We've got an awful lot of equipment here.

It would be interesting - It really would be, Jonathan -

It would be very interesting to see you, uh, surface with a better script.

A-A-And there's no competitive thing -

[Bob] What's a better script? Here's a film and you're a director -

No, a better script as a screen test for a pair of actors.

The way to make the script better is to, first of all, drop the euphemisms.

You talk real language. [Greaves] What euphemisms?

The euphemisms. Freddie says to Alice - He says to -

Freddie has a cock. Alice has a cunt.

Freddie likes or doesn't like to fuck Alice.

Alice can't come. Alice has difficulty coming.

Alice comes easily.

Freddie stays a long time. Freddie stays a short time.

Freddie stays an intermediate amount of time.

Freddie really loves to fuck Alice.

You know what I mean. That's the way to talk.

And that's the way people can liberate themselves to talk about themselves.

[Bob] Right. You have a line here, like, "Come on, sport, give me a chance."

"Give me a chance." That doesn't mean anything.

[Bob] A fuck? Is that what it means? [Jonathan] "You never let me touch you."

What does that mean? "It's unnatural." What does that mean?

"Don't you like me to eat you, Alice?" That means something.

Or "Eat me, Freddie." That means something. You understand? I'm serious.

That is the way the script is transformed from a useless faggotry, from a little semi-annual conceit between two people, to something that never has to be repeated again.

[Greaves] There's another level of this, if you recall, in the original concept.

Um, the, uh - This screen test, which we are supposed to be shooting, um, is unsatisfactory.

You read the concept.

I assume that you read the concept. I haven't read the concept.

Well, anyway, the point is this, that the screen test proves to be unsatisfactory from the standpoint of the actors and the director.

And then what happens is that the director and the actors undertake to improvise something better than that which has been written in the screen test.

This sort of palace revolt [chuckles] which is - no, no - which is taking place, um, uh, is not dissimilar to the sort of revolution that's taking place, let's say, in America today in terms of the fact that, you know, in a sense, I represent the establishment, and, uh, I've been trying to get you to do certain things which you've become, in a sense, disenchanted with, you know.

Now, your - your problem is to come up with creative suggestions which will make this into a better production than we now have.

I don't understand that at all.

[Greaves] It doesn't matter whether or not you understand it.

The important thing is that we surface from this production experience with something that is entirely exciting and creative as a result of our collective efforts - as a result of Marsha's efforts, as a result of Audrey, Sy Mottel, you, Jonathan, you, Bob, Roland Mitchell, Nicky, Frank Baker, Barbara Linden.

It's important that, as a result of the totality of all of these efforts, we, uh, arrive at a creative... piece of cinematic experience.

[woman] ♪ I have been

In love but once

Each time as painful as the last

I found out

So many times

How short forever is

[crew chattering]

How can you measure love

If not by pain? ♪ Places!

[man] No, no, the microphone. [Greaves] The microphone. Okay.

Lovers we could always be

[Larner] Can you read this? Can you see this?

But friends beneath the spreading tree

Turn away

Don't follow me



Alice ♪ ♪ No, no

Come on, sport

[both chuckling] [Greaves] Don't enjoy it so much.

All right, that's okay. That's fine. It's coming along.

But, um, try to go into the, uh, the situation as you sing.

Yes. Yes. Okay? Go ahead.

Alice ♪ ♪ No

Alice ♪ ♪ No, no

Come on, sport

Come on ♪ ♪ Don't touch me

For heaven's sake

What's bugging you?

[Alice] ♪ Why don't you tell me who - Or rather, who's bugging you? ♪

[Greaves] No, I can't take that.

[laughing] Can I ask you a question?

Is that really what they do at the Actors Studio all the time?

Silence, boy! No, that's not true.

That's fantastic.

What? Do you want a slate?

[Terry] No, that's all right. Okay. [laughing]

That's -

Uh, hold on more securely to the - uh, to the basic situation if you can.

[Jonathan] Why are you ask - Why are you asking them to sing?

Because I'd like to have them sing.

N-No, I know, but I wonder why.

Um, I don't know. Just, uh - Just an idea.

[Bob] I mean, is it an experiment in the musical comedy form?

It's an experiment in the musical comedy form.

[Bob laughs] He just doesn't want to answer you.

I'm trying to find out if the scene can play with -

There is an acting exercise that this can be very useful for, which is what we started doing, which is to sing and therefore bring other elements that your imagination wouldn't have ordinarily gone to. That's the value.

-But to sit here and try to do a duet, I - -[Greaves] Right. I quite agree with you.

It's like we should have an orchestra. Yeah, right. I quite agree.

Uh, does that answer your question, Mr. Gordon?

I think we can use this. I think, uh -

Uh, it will end - it will add a... an interesting texture to the film.

Doesn't anybody think so? [laughs] Nobody thinks so?

[Bob] You want to call it a texture? Yeah.

Well, you can see the comments right on their faces.

Just pan over and look at that. [laughing]

[Jonathan] I don't think it works. Sounds terrible.

You're too kind.

There's no sense of reality in this, uh -

There's no sense of reality. I mean, who goes about singing to each other?

[man] What is this thing?

I spoke with you yest - You're from Canada, right?

Oh, it's a movie. So, who's moving whom?

Mercibeaucoup. Oh, you got a big lens in there.

[Greaves] Isn't that French? You ain't got a cigarette?

[man] No, it's not. It's Jewish. - "Mercibeaucoup"?

I thought it was French. No, it's Jewish, darling.

Really? Very Jewish.

I'm a Polack, and that's Jewish.

Hello there, darling. Let me see how you look. You look pretty good.

My name's Victor Vikowski, darling. [Greaves] Um, Bob -

What is this? ABC camera?

Hello. My name is Victor. How do you do?

Pleasure to meet you. I do watercolors.

[Bob] Somebody get a release for this gentleman.

But they threw my ass out nine weeks ago. I've been living in the bushes.

Do you know why? Because I couldn't pay two weeks' rent.

I was paying $45.70 a week, and I couldn't make the scene.

Terrible! All my watercolors, my paintings, my brushes are more important than them F-in' things -

You know what "F" is? I coined that phrase.

What is this? You know - "fuck."

Yeah? That's why I want -

You never knew what that meant?

I know. You don't know.

Are you such a virgin like I am? [laughing]

We're not virgins, baby.

We're virgins in the brain, if you wanna be that way.

Yeah, but why do we have to have adaptation of words and symbols?

Can't we be ourselves?

You wanna go get fucked, get fucked. That's all. That's the way I think.

Wanna suck? Suck, goddamn it!

Everybody sucks - What? I -

Didn't you suck your mama's nipples first?

Well, I did the same thing, you know. What, you're so different than I am?


And then it goes on and goes on as a prospectus of life, you see.

It's - [coughs]

You'd be tired here, nine weeks in these bushes.

It's terrible. It's a monstrosity.

Where are the watercolors? In the bushes?

Honey, darling, they're not in the bushes.

They're at Bretton Hall Hotel on 86th Street, south -

Do you live here in the park?

What do you think? I made a jerk out of myself there?

But that's all right. At least I cleaned my mind a little bit.

'Cause I hate bullshit, you know. I dislike it.

I'm sorry. I'm not being vulgar. Not at all.

-That does not impress anything upon - -You going home? Going -

You're a lady - But you're still a lady.

I'm a lady too, and I'm a man. Both the same.

Going around in the park, you've sort of become a philosopher, haven't you?

No, I educated - I went to Columbia for four years.

Did you really? Damn right I did.

What did you study there? Bachelor science, Bachelor art.

I went to Parsons School of Design. Oh, I see.

You're, what, a scene designer? Architectural designer.

Architectural designer. Yes.

I'm an alcoholic, by the way, too. Well, listen, uh -

Well, I am. I admit it.

I'm trying to make some pints for myself for tonight.

-Well, let's see. Maybe - -It gets cold out here, baby.

And when you live alone, baby, you need something warm -

You don't sleep here at night, do you? Sure I do. I get in the bush.

But the rain fuckin' drove my ass outta there.

Are there many people who sleep here at night in the park?

There's an enormous amount of human beings here.

Sleeping here in the park at night? Of course.

Did anybody know this? [Bob] No, I didn't know that at all.

You're full of shit. You must have known. I never knew that.

I live off 70th Street off the park.

I have never seen anybody asleep in the park.

Don't the police bother you? No.

Lindsay - Listen, let me tell you what happened.

Lindsay made a speech today Mercibeaucoup, s'il vousplaît.

-Wait. He has to sign this, uh - -Lindsay made a speech today.

I thought I'm going to Versailles again, you know. 'Cause I've been there.

-Sir - -And he's bullshitting the propaganda.

You know how politics work.

Do you, uh - Do you object to being on Candid Camera?

I don't give a shit where I am. I'm in life.

You'll have to sign the release.

[Pat] This better not be Candid Camera after all the work I did!

I got a fuckin' name that's so long, goddamn it, you'd better have a paper long enough.

Write it as long as it takes. As long as it takes. That's it.


Wait, I'm not - I just thought of it. That's just the first one.

Okay. All right? [all laughing]

And I eliminated the middle part.


[Maria] That's what you sign on your paintings?

Wow! Yes, I do.

[Maria] Yes? [Bob] Fantastic. I see.

And your address is where in the park? What?

69th Street. I love 69th Street. 69th Street in the park.

You're gonna put that down as your address?

Come on, baby! We'll go in the bushes! Is there a number on a bench or -

Sixty-nine, darling. No number. Sixty-nine is enough.

Sixty-nine is enough? What else you want?

86th? That's another number. Can we find you here anytime?

I mean, any night during the summer at 69th Street?

I hope I'm out of here when winter comes, when the leaves fall.

[man chuckling] Oh, baby, I gotta move.

[Maria] Where do you move in the winter? Who the hell knows?

[Greaves] Are you saying that the hippies are sort of confirmation of what you, uh -

What I was 20 years ago, and they called me an asshole and everything.

Because we need changes.

We all need money, true, but when you have to live off someone else's fucking back to make that buck -

That's a penis of a dollar. I call it a penis of a dollar.

What do you mean, living off of somebody else's back? How do you mean that?

All right, may I tell you one thing? Yeah.

I was born in Hampshire, New York. This is the way I call it.

Now, when I see the Negroes and the Puerto Ricans and the whites pushing the wagons, I made a canvas, just using blank face, mannequins, because they manipulate in a business form.

I know the scene - big fat belly with the cigar smoking, you know, sitting back and - ha-ha playing his horses and fucking a Puerto Rican or a colored girl in the back.

I've seen the scenes, baby.

-So you think - -I gave up. No, goddamn it, I give up.

Fuck it. With all the intelligence I got, I fuckin' give up.

-You're - -I'm not the only one.

There are many here have given up. Why are you giving up?

Why? I can't fight politicians.

I can't fight money 'cause I don't have money.

Rockefeller - how much money did he spend for his last goddamn campaign?

I can fight that? Well -

Yes, years ago. Centuries ago, maybe.

Not today you can't. Even with words, you can't fight.

Because they're gonna knock it off - We have controlled press today.

Controlled press.

It's called controlled press. I'm well aware of it. Yeah.

What average man could buy a Fortune magazine and learn what's happening?

Or what average man does?

[Jonathan] What about love, man? Love?

Love is a feeling of the penis and the cunt. That's what love is.

Oh, boy. On that searching thought... All right?

We bid you good-bye. That's right.

That's all, and there isn't any more. Okay. Bye-bye.

And that's what love is. Bye-bye.

Love is a feeling of a desire for one for the other.

I never like to say good-bye. I say so long.

I think you lost something. Yes, I did. Thank you very much, my dear.

Très bien. Mercibeaucoup.

So long. So long.

[woman shouts] Victor! Yes, darling.

[Pat, muttering] Keep on walking. Keep on walking.

My friend, I wish I could give those watercolors to you, instead of being wasted the way they were.

[Don] Really? That's what I want.

[Greaves] You were a machine gunner? Where?

On the USS Alabama. I see.

[Pat] That was very famous. [man] Right.

[Greaves] What other wars were you in? What other wars?

Only one was enough for me. I couldn't take any more.

Ciao. Ciao.

Good-bye. Bye - I never say good-bye.

I like to say ciao. Then ciao.

[Pat] Ciao.

[jet passing overhead]

[soundtrack: fusion jazz playing]

Uh, yeah, what we're gonna do is, uh, we're gonna do a line reading first.

-And then we'll, uh - -What is the line reading?

Well, we just - I just wanna hear you go back and forth with the lines, make sure that we've got them under control.

And then after we've done that, we'll, um, we'll try to work out some kind of action for you to, uh - to go through physically.

And, uh, then we'll see what the problems - You'll play the scene.

Then we'll see what the problems are. Then we'll get into it increasingly more on a, uh... what, an emotional and, you know, personal level.

You know, more the dramatics of the situation.

Okay. Um, Terry, I guess you can - you can start rolling.

I'm gonna do a line reading with them. [Terry, indistinct]

Um, who you gonna work with?

[indistinct] Yeah.

No. You'll - You'll work, uh -

You'll work against another recorder actually.

You don't need to do any recording of this, because, uh, I'm just gonna do a line reading with them, you know.

-And there's no need to - -Which recorder am I going to work again?

The recorder - I mean, uh, John here has -

All right. Hey, I'm picking up the cops.

You're picking up the cops? Yeah.

Let me see. On your microphone. Occasionally.

[siren wailing] Oh, no. No, no, no.

That's his, uh - That's his... Turn off your, uh - your intercom.

Turn off what? Your walkie-talkie.

Oh, it's his? It's his walkie-talkie.

I'm on her and on him. Okay, I-let's -

Let's go down here.

This is roll one in camera "C."

Do me a favor and clap your hands.

[Greaves murmuring] Excuse me.

[Terry] Oh, no, just do it once. Just once.

Hold it. Fine. Thank you.

[sustained tone, pitch rising] No, she didn't have to.

[tone, pitch continues rising]

[tone fades] [beep]