Take Me Somewhere Nice (2019) Script


I can't decide.

We'll take the lilac.

I like the red one better.

I want both.

I've got something even better out front.

Turn around.

How does this sound ?

Where is the train station ?

Where is the train station ?

Where is the train station ?

Did I pronounce it right ?


Can I pay with my card ?

Can I pay with my card ?

Can I pay with my card ?

Going anywhere this summer ?

No. Yes.

I'm going to visit my father. He's in the hospital.

Oh, okay.

Why do you have to tell him our business ?

He's just curious.

Curious. Of course.

Why do you have to cry, Mom ?

I have to cry when I have to cry, sunshine.

Are you sure you don't want to come ? Yes.

The bastard.

Bye, Mom. Bye.

Where are you ? I'm here but I don't see you.

Turn 90 degrees, and then take 12 steps forwards.

You've grown up.

So have you.

I'm in a hurry.

Your car's broken.

What ? What do you mean ?

Broken. It's practically falling apart.

Broken ? It works, doesn't it ? So it's not broken.

A very good car.

Emir ?

Emir ?

Where are you ?

I'm in a hurry. Everything's inside.

We don't have that.

I'd like a juice. Which juice ?

We have orange, grapefruit, pomegranate orange-grapefruit, blueberry, cranberry, raspberry, apple, cherry, apple-cherry and hibiscus-rose.

Hibiscus ? Hibiscus-rose.

Good morning.

Good... morning.

Do you need help ?

Yes... I think I do.

You don't live here.

No. They're on vacation.

Emir's not. How do you know Emir ?

Emir's my cousin.

I don't believe you. Prove it.

We have the same canines. Canines ?

Canine teeth.


What's it like in the Netherlands ?

I hate the Netherlands. Why ?

Cold weather, cold people.

Are you cold, too ?

Ice cold.

You know what they say about Dutch girls...

What ?

That you're easy.

And you ? What ?

Are you easy or difficult ?

Difficult. Girls love that.

My dad's in the hospital in Podvelezje. Do you know where that is ?

If this is Bosnia... and we're here... then Podvelezje is somewhere... over here.

Got it. Thank you.

What's this mess in the hall ?

Who's going to clean it up ?

I'll do it, boss.

I ate your orange. You didn't eat his orange, did you ?

Do you know how many vitamins are in that ?

Lots. It's got lots of vitamins.

What are you guys going to do ? We're busy.

Wait. Wait.

Emir, I wanted to ask you something. Yes ?

Can you take me to Podvelezje tomorrow ?

Sorry, I don't have the time.

How's Emir ?

He's not nice.

Is he harassing you ?

No, he's just not nice.

He was a weird kid. He's always been strange.

Don't let him get to you. Is he taking you ?

He's very busy.

Busy ? He's unemployed.

Can't I just go on my own ? By bus or by train ?

No way you're taking the train. Emir is going to take you.


I like the new hair color.

Everything looks good on you, sunshine.

Hello ?

Holland ? It's Denis. Do you remember me ?


Will you come downstairs ? I want to show you something.

What are you doing anyway ? I'm Emir's intern.

Intern ? Odd jobs, here and there.

Do you know him ?


Are you having fun ?

Yes, you should try it some time.

Are you finally done ? Just a minute.

Could you give me Denis's number ? What for ?

So he can take me to Podvelezje.

Denis doesn't have a car.

Couldn't he borrow yours ? No.

Denis has had a girlfriend since forever so don't go getting any ideas.

Miss, miss ?

Give me a mark.

Here it says that it's running. If it says it's running, then it is.

Now what do I do ?

Why are you asking me ? It's all there, isn't it ?

Can I come, too ?

Ticket for the suitcase ? I don't have one.

One mark.

Can I pay with my card ?

Card ?

They come here from Europe, take a little vacation, then leave.

But what has Europe ever done for us ?


Better Europe than the Russians. What has Russia ever done for us ?


More than the Americans, I can tell you that.

What have the Americans ever done for us ?

More than the Turks.

We want a toilet break.




Girls. Hey, good evening.

Want to go out with us tonight ? Want to hang out together ?

Imagine, barbecuing in a backyard in Frankfurt.

Don't talk shit.

What ? You're getting on my nerves.


Come on, let's play.

-Let's take your cousin to see her dad. Why ?

Family. You know.

We hardly know each other. I haven't seen her in ten years.

Family's family.

If you win, we're taking her.

Have you lost your mind ? I need to go to Podvelezje.

I don't care where you need to go. Get in.

This is my favorite hotel.

I'd like to ask you something.

Can I pay later ?

Just a hotel.

You're there all alone ?

It's fine.

Where's Emir ?

He didn't have any time for me, apparently.

I'm going to kill him. It'll be fine, Mom.

Nothing will be fine. Stay there, do you hear me ?

I heard you.

And you ? What do you do in the Netherlands ?

I live there with my mother.

You two are all alone there ? Yes.

My dad left us and came back to Bosnia when I was little.

Homesickness. Homesickness ?

Everywhere's the same. The same rules, the same men.

The only thing they care about is what other men think of them.

Especially Swedes. They're the worst.

Do you ever perform ? Almost every night.

I've been everywhere. From Germany to Sweden, Austria...

Even Italy.

What did you do there ?

I left Bosnia during the war. Anything to earn a little money.

Singing ? Among other things.

What ? Artist, prostitute... what's the difference ?

We all beg for attention and a bit of cash.

Plus there are women all over who offer for free what I would charge for.

I wanted to ask...

Would it be okay to pay tomorrow ?

I know that's not how it normally works, but I lost my suitcase... So, I can't pay right now.

I'll call you later.

What's going on ?

I lost my suitcase, and now I can't pay.

Where did you lose it ?

A bus drove off with it. I tried calling them, but...

I'll pay.

We came especially for you, Alma.

I've already got a ride.

Come on, Alma, let's go.

Come on, Holland.

We'll go together. We can say hello to your dad then go to the seaside.

I don't feel like it.

Alma, come down here. What are you doing here ?

Leave me alone. Alma.

Go away. Alma.

Hey, what are you doing down there ? It's no big deal. He's her cousin.

What cousin ? Alma, is that your cousin ?

No. Get out of here.

God dammit. Alma, step aside.


You know what, Alma ? Screw you. Screw you.

Damn, they're crazy.

So, you're a politician.

I have to pay the bills.

And there are lots of bills...

Like those belonging to scared little girls who can't pay for their hotel rooms.

My suitcase ?

What ?

Where ?

What ?

Can I borrow that ?

Everything you know about me...

isn't very much.

You could sum it up in a word or two... if you really had to.

Everything you know about me...

the others know it, too.

People who I shake hands with politely and to whom I smile as I say goodbye.

Which one is yours again ? No idea.

Do you have a driver's license ?

Good morning, Holland.

Did you guys rape me ?

Where are you going ?

I'm gonna go pee. Do I need your permission for that ?

What hospital is your Dad in ? Podvelezje.

But I need my suitcase first.

Where is your suitcase ? At the bus station.

Which bus station ?

I don't know.

They called me.

The bus station ? Yes.

Is this the only suitcase you found ?


Why ?

Yes, why ?

What's in the suitcase ?

Nothing special.

Watch out !

Dammit !

What do we do ?

He's not going to make it.

Can't we save him ?

He's not gonna make it. Why let him suffer ?

You'd better look away.

It's dead.

You didn't even look.

I'm looking. Your engine melted.

The scrapyard next door could pay you something for it.

That's the good news.

The bad news is... that it's dead.

The hardest thing in life is saying goodbye to the things you hold dear.

If you can do that, the rest is easy.

Why didn't you tell me you have a girlfriend ?

I thought you wouldn't care.

Do you have a boyfriend ?


Does that matter to you ?

I don't like touching someone else's...

Maybe I'm homophobic...

I have a fear of penises.


What do you mean ?

I don't like touching a man's thing.

Or a thing that's been touching a man's thing.

But I love muscles.

A man who can... protect me.

Protect ?

What woman needs to be protected these days ?

You freeze our sperm and make robots for the muscle work...

Before you know it, we're a dying breed.

If anyone needs protection, it's men.

Why do you think Denis is after you ?

He likes me.

You know what they say...

People have two reasons for doing something.

A good reason and the real reason.

I know when a guy is in love with me.

People in love don't need reasons.

You're a walking passport to him.

I broke up with my girlfriend.

We weren't a good match after all.

Hey, Denis.

Why don't you come do an internship in the Netherlands ?

There are a lot of nice internships in the Netherlands.

Maybe I'd like that.

What do you think, Emir ?

Of course.

This should be it.

Hello ?

Is anyone there ?

So, where did he go ?

We're searching. Yes ?

For the man who was lying there.

The man who was there ?

He says he knows, but he doesn't want to tell us.

Why don't you want to say ?

Just say it.

He's gone. Where did he go ?

They couldn't save him. They took him away yesterday.

Past Dobric Village...

After 10 km, turn right at the yellow house...

The funeral will be around noon, they'll wait there.

Great. Thank you.

Do you need anything else ?

Who are you ?

This is my father's house.

He's gone. I know.

Is it just me, or is it hot in here ?

I'm not hot.

Let me feel.

Does it work ?

Do you want to take it for a spin ?

I can't drive.


Foot on the brake.

Put the key back in.

And now, go slow.

Gently rest your foot on the brake.

Do you want to get out of here, too ? Of course not. This is my country.

A nationalist.

What did you say ? That you're a nationalist.

A patriot.

What's the difference ?

One is based on hatred...

the other on love.

Imagine stepping on a piece of glass.

It goes deep and the blood gushes out.

I decide to help you by removing it.

Am I doing it out of love or hatred ?

I don't know.

Let's assume it's out of love.

I'll hurt you, perhaps even more than when the glass entered.

Or you just watch your step.

Or you don't walk at all anymore.

Dammit ! Dammit...

What's in the suitcase ? Nothing.

Nothing ?

Let's have a look at nothing.

It's my suitcase.

My suitcase.

She's from the Netherlands.

Her clothes are in it, nothing special.

What is that ?

Her father.

Please open it. Are you serious ?

You can't do that.

It's sad, isn't it ?

No-one at his funeral.

What does it matter ? Not like he can tell.

Yes, but doesn't everyone want a big funeral with lots of people crying ?

I found something in the suitcase. What ?

Why didn't you tell us sooner ? I don't know what's in it.

There, there.

Faster, faster, faster.

There he is. Come on, faster. Faster, now.

What's so funny ?


Do you really think anyone is waiting for you in the Netherlands ?

Do you know what they'll think when they see you there ?

Another one who doesn't know the language or the culture.

Another mouth to feed.

Do you know how many foreigners they have ? Too many. Foreign losers.

And what did you do for your passport ?

What are you doing here, anyway ? Visiting your father ?

You don't know him. And all of a sudden you want to visit.

Or maybe you were bored and wanted to see how we live here.

Our life here is perfect. Got it ?

Both of you, get out of the car, now.

This isn't your car. It's my dad's. Get out of the car now.

I don't know if you realize this, but your dad is dead.

I didn't mean it.


Wait here.


It went well.


I love you.

Your share.

Where are we going ? To the seaside.

Then he can see the sea.

Thank you very much.



This last act is so special.

But I'll be needing a volunteer to help with the show.

One volunteer.

Come on.

Someone said to someone I had to most beautiful dream Let's split it in two.

Now half of the dream is yours Let's sleep, let's dream Let's sleep, let's dream

You can make a wish.

You stole my wish.

What did you wish for ?

What everyone wishes for. A big house and lots of money.

Anyone who says he doesn't wish for that is a liar.

Who said you could use our lounge chairs ?

Who said you could sit on our lounge chairs ?

Sorry, we didn't know. Who gave you permission ?

Who said you could lay your filthy hands on our lounge chairs ?

No one... No one what ?

Come here and let me grab you, you filthy slut.

Come here, you filthy slut.


Denis. Are you okay ?

I'm okay. Let me lie here for a while.

Where is Emir ? Should I go get him ?