Taxi S1E11 Script

Memories of Cab 804: Part 1 (1978)

( Theme music playing )


( Bells pealing )

So, what are you and Suzanne doing for Christmas, John?

Oh, her parents are having a party.

How about you?

Oh, I don't know.

Last year, I went to a sit-down dinner for 80 people.

80 People. Wow!

Yeah, they got this really long counter at Woolworth's.

Merry Christmas, Elaine.

Hey, how you doing, Elaine?

Come on.

I'll take three.

What's the matter with Elaine?

Oh, I think it has something to do with her ex-husband picks up the girls this morning.

This is the first Christmas she's ever spent alone.

Poor thing.

What a bummer.

I'd go crazy if I had to spend Christmas alone.

You are spending Christmas alone.

I am?

Well, he gave us fair warning.

$35? You call this a day's booking?

Sorry, Louie.

What's the matter with her?

You wouldn't understand, Louie.

Some people just feel sad at Christmas.

Oh, yeah? You think I don't know that?

I got feelings.

Really?

My mother's that way.

Cries every Christmas on account of my little brother Nicky never comes to see her.

I'll give you the same advice I give my mom when she cries.

I say, "Ma, shut up."

I always knew you could be tender.

Yeah, only this year, I ain't going to have any problems with Ma because Nicky's breaking with tradition.

Oh, you mean your brother is coming to town?

Due in today.

I'm expecting him any minute.

I told you about him.

Big-time poker player, lives in Las Vegas.

Yeah, right.

Always says he's too busy to come East.

Only this year he was in Atlantic City to catch the action.

I talked him into stopping by for a few days.

You know, every Christmas Eve for the past six years Ma stayed up all night crying.

It was really hard on me.

I'll bet.

Yeah, I hated having to put her out in the hall.

Nick!

Louie!

You made it, Nick!

My little brother.

Hey, everybody, this is my little brother, Nicky.

Ooh, I can't believe you're here.

Come here. I want to introduce you to some of my inferiors.

Nah, we'll do that later.

Six years I haven't seen you.

Let me look at you.

New coat, huh?

Ma can't wait to see you.

She couldn't talk about anything else since she found out you were coming.

Right.

Hey, is that a poker game?

Relax. I already told them you're a pro.

Now, listen, the sleeping arrangements are going to be a little tricky because, you see, we only have two beds, but Ma has trouble sleeping anyway, so she can sit up and you can have hers.

Nicky, we're going to have such a good time.

Right, right, right.

How about me sitting in on a few hands, huh?

Hey, Nick, Nicky, don't you hear what I'm saying?

Nicky, Ma's been waiting to see you for six years.

So, she can wait a few minutes. It won't hurt her.

I ain't fooling with you this time, Nicky.

Get up there.

Hey, Jeff, get a cab and take my brother to see my mother.

Come on, Louie. Don't push.

I'm not pushing. Now, get the hell out of here!

I'm going, I'm going.

Just don't lose all that Christmas tip money.

I want a crack at it.

I know it's none of my business, Louie, but, uh, your brother didn't seem so anxious to visit your mother.

I know.

It worries me, Alex.

He hurts her bad.

Huh?

He never shows her any affection or consideration.

Like me, I'm always saying stuff like, "How you doing, Ma?"

You know?

She cooks something, and I don't like the way it tastes, I never spit it out.

I always tell her, "Take another crack at it."

But listen, I want to tell you something.

This is just between you and me.

The winters have been getting really hard on Ma, and she freezes up on me, Oh. You know?

And she needs to go some place where it's warm so she can thaw out.

You know, like Las Vegas.

Yeah.

Now, here's Nick...

He's got this beautiful apartment out there.

You think he ever asked her once to come out and visit?

No.

Now, what I'm hoping is he's going to go home and see how bad off she is and then get the idea himself and ask her.

That'd be swell, but from what I saw, I wouldn't count on it, Louie.

No, I'm not, I'm not.

That's why I told Ma, you know, drop a few subtle hints.

Now that'd be an idea.

Yeah, like I told her to tell him, "Nicky, I'd really love to see your apartment in Vegas

"before I die, because if I don't I'll put a curse on you from my grave."

♪ Joy to the world, the Lord is come ♪

♪ let Earth receive her King... ♪ Look at this.

♪ Let every heart prepare Him room ♪

♪ And heaven and nature sing ♪

♪ and heaven and nature sing ♪

♪ And heaven and nature sing... ♪ Come on, give him a buck, everybody.

♪ Let Earth receive her King ♪

♪ Let every heart prepare Him room ♪

♪ And heaven and nature sing ♪

♪ And heaven and nature sing ♪

♪ And heaven and nature sing ♪

♪ Joy to the world... ♪ Here's your cut, Mr. De Palma.

Thanks for letting us work the garage.

Okay, Merry Christmas.

All right, now keep practicing because I might have a New Year's eve gig for you.

Hey, I was just thinking.

Why don't we have a little Christmas party?

Where?

Right here in the garage.

You know, why not?

We never had one here before.

How come?

I don't know... tradition?

Hey, wait a minute.

That might not be such a bad idea.

Sure.

I can make some egg nog.

I'm not going to be able to cook but I could stop at a deli.

That's fine, that's fine.

I'll get some Christmas decorations.

Right.

I'm sure even Louie will give me a break on the choir.

And you know what?

I'm going to get a Christmas tree so we can put all of our gifts underneath it.

I just hope you guys like what I got you.

What's wrong?

You do exchange Christmas gifts, don't you?

We do now.

Yeah, sure.

ELAINE: Okay, well, I'm going to make some phone calls and I'll set it up.

Okay, everybody, okay.

Come here round the table. Let's go.

Who's the cashier around this joint, huh?

LOUIE: Nick!

What are you doing back here? You're supposed to be seeing Ma.

I saw Ma... we had a little chat.

You had a good idea me coming.

I'm glad I did it.

Hey, deal me in.

Don't deal him in.

You only been gone ten minutes.

It takes ten minutes to drive there and back.

What'd you expect, me to spend all afternoon with her? Deal me in.

Don't deal him in. I want to talk to you.

I got a poker game to play, Louie.

I want to talk to you now.

Get in the cage.

Excuse us.

Get in there.

Watch my coat, huh?

I'll watch the coat.

Sit down.

You're a rotten kid, Nick.

Six years you're gone.

You don't call, you don't write.

Nothing.

You come back for a crummy five minutes.

Ain't you got no feelings for Ma at all?

( Phone rings )

Sunshine cab.

Hey, crazy lady, give me a break here.

It's Ma.

I'm talking to him now.

What?

She says she asked you about going to Vegas and you laughed in her face.

I thought she was joking.

What am I going to do with Ma in Las Vegas?

Stop screaming, will you?!

I can't talk to her when she's like this.

Ma, I can't talk to you when you're like this.

Alex, come in here and talk to my mother.

What, me?

LOUIE: Come on, just take the phone.

Hey, Louie, I don't know what to say to your mother.

You don't have to say anything, just listen.

Hello, Mrs. De Palma?

This is Alex Rieger, one of your son's employees.

No, Mrs. De Palma, I don't know why people have children.

Look, Nick, I've given you your way for a long time.

I've been with Ma.

I'm taking care of her.

I never asked you for no help.

Well, maybe I haven't said so, but I always thought that was big of you.

Nicky was a difficult birth, huh?

No, no, please.

Mrs. De Palma, don't tell me all the medical details.

I'm really not a medical man, please.

Look, you're taking Ma to Vegas and that's that.

I told you, I can't.

Give me one good reason.

I don't want to.

Nicky used to pull the what off flies?

All right, this is your last chance.

You either take Ma with you when you go, or you leave town an only child.

I'm not your brother anymore.

Okay, Louie.

Have it your way.

We're not brothers anymore.

Hey, deal me in.

You want to talk to Nicky?

Nick.

Louie, Louie, I'm sorry.

Ma!

Ma, you're going to Vegas, I promise.

I'm not lying.

Have I lied to you yet?

I mean this phone call.

No, trust me, then.

I swear you're going to Vegas.

How you going to keep a promise like that?

I don't know, Alex, but I got to.

You hear the way she screeches?

Sometimes when she's going real good, dogs come from all over.

I just have to keep that promise.

Thanks for coming, Alex.

I knew I could count on you if I called you.

You're a real pal.

Yeah.

What are you having?

Um, I'll have a beer.

Separate tabs.

So, how's the party going?

Oh, you'd hate it, Louie.

There's joy everywhere.

Nick still around?

Yep, and winning big.

You know, I been doing a lot of thinking, Alex, about Ma, about me, about Nick, about Ma and me, about Nick and me, about Nick and Ma.

Thank goodness you don't have a bigger family.

You know, Christmas has always been a stinking time of the year for me.

Oh, come on, Louie.

Always!

Do you know that I played the elf in the Christmas pageant every year till I left for the Army?

Yeah, I know.

I never got to play the parts that I wanted to play...

Angel, shepherd, room clerk...

The guy who said, "No room at the Inn."

Oh, that room clerk.

Alex, Louie.

Hi, John.

Excuse me.

Listen, I was just on my way to my in-laws' house for the party and I wanted to drop by and wish you a Merry Christmas.

Maybe this is the wrong time.

Huh? No, no, it's okay, John.

Hey, how did you do at the poker table?

Got cleaned out.

Boy, that brother of yours can really play poker.

He's cleaning everybody.

Yeah, I'm glad I'm not playing.

That does it.

It's bad enough he's ruining Christmas for me and Ma.

He's got to ruin it for everybody else.

Yeah. Yeah.

I want to get even with him. I would too.

I want to hit him where it hurts the most.

And I want you to help me.

Me?

Yeah. You're the best poker player in the company, Alex.

Well...

I want you to challenge Nick and beat him at his own game.

Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Now, Nick's a pro. I can't beat him.

Even if I could, it would take a lot of money to bankroll a challenge like that.

I got the money.

It's my life savings.

I been socking away money for years.

I've always wanted to use it for something special...

A trip to Florida, a new car...

Revenge!

I want him wiped out, Alex crushed, destroyed, humiliated... for Ma.


Louie, what do you think?

About what?

Nick.

Hey, Louie, I knew you couldn't stay mad at me forever.

Great party.

Great bunch of guys, too.

From now on, I'm coming back more often.

That's a promise.

Nick, Nick.

Alex, yo.

Alex wants to play one on one with you.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Hey, Alex, hey, are you sure?

I mean, like, he's really good.

I mean, he's really good, you know what I mean?

Hey, what do you mean? I mean, what's one on one?

Does that mean we can't play anymore?

It means that we've lost enough already.

You lost enough... I haven't.

Hey, I'll cut you for 20.

20.

NICK: Ace.

Now I lost enough.

Hey, could I have my shoes back?

Yeah, but you can only borrow them till I'm done here.

Okay, Alex.

Oh yeah, right.

You get him. We're all behind you, all right?

Don't worry about it.

Okay, how much you playing with?

Alex isn't playing with his money.

He's playing with mine.

You're bankrolling him against me, your own brother?

Jeez, Louie, I always knew you resented me and all of that but I never knew you had it in you to do something like this.

You're all right.

TONY: Hey, John, I thought you were going to your in-laws'.

Oh, I am. I forgot and left Suzanne's present in my locker.

How's the game going?

They're just getting started.

Okay, well, we'll see you all in a couple days.

Merry Christmas again. Merry Christmas.

I'm just going to call Suzanne and tell her I'm on my way.

All right, let's get started.

Only we're going to make some new rules this time.

Hello, honey, I'm just leaving the garage now, so could you ask your folks if they'd hold dinner for me?

All right.

No limit on the betting.

Alex, here's $3,000.

Maybe you better tell them to start without me.

JOHN: Well, honey, Alex just raised another 20...

Nick is smiling...

Nick calls...

Damn, Alex lost again.

That's the third time in a row.

Hey, Alex, how much you lost now?

None of your business, Banta.

About 1,100.

What are you... a computer?

You guys been at this five hours now.

Couldn't we take a break?

They don't need a break.

I've seen Alex play ten, 12 hours in a row.

No, look, if Nick wants to take a break, I'll take a break.

I once played for 72 hours in a row.

Let's play.

Hey, 72 hours.

That's like my fight with Rocky Santocuore.

Your fight with Santocuore lasted four minutes.

I'm talking about my recovery.

I bet $500.

( Spectators gasping )

I like your style, kid.

I'll see your five... and raise five.

$1,500 in one pile.

I don't believe it.

Hey, Alex, take it easy.

I will see your five.

And I will raise you...

Five.

This is unbelievable.

$2,500.

Alex, you better be sure.

I mean, you better be sure you're sure.

I'm going to find out.

I'll see it...

and raise you my last $300.

I'm all in.

Louie, I can't cover that.

Alex, look into my eyes and tell me that you're sure about this hand.

I mean, promise me you're sure.

Say you're positive.

I'm reasonably sure.

I'll get more money.

More money?

Where are you going to get more money?

Hey, Louie, where you going?

What are you going in there for?

You're going to bet the company receipts?

What the hell do you think you been playing with?

You said it was your life savings, Louie.

I lied... I do that sometimes.

Louie, Louie Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie.

What do you mean, I'm playing with stolen money?

Yeah.

( Groaning )

If you lose now, you're in big trouble.

All right.

That's fine.

Makes the game a lot more interesting.

He sees your bet, and raises you... another...

$450.

Louie, I told you I was all in.

So fold.

You take a check?

Okay, you won't.

Here, my airline ticket.

It's worth $150.

What do you give me for a $300 watch?

$80.

Great, I only paid $50 for it.

Yeah?

That's $80, and 150 is $230.

I give that guy $20 for his shoes; that makes it $250.

I don't want his shoes.

I want my shoes.

It's Christmas, Louie, take his shoes.

Okay, but you're still $200 short.

Well, let me think.

Let me do it for you.

The way I figure it, three weeks for Ma in Vegas is worth $200.

You want me to bet Ma?

You win? You're off the hook.

You lose? You take her with you.

You're betting on our own mother.

Right.

$300, Two weeks.

That stinks.

Two weeks for $200.

$100 a week.

All right.

I raise a week.

I don't believe this.

Okay.

We see your week and raise you another $200.

Are you crazy?

I can't take her for five weeks.

100 is for hugs and kisses every day she's there.

$50, You take her out to dinner twice a week to some place fancy, not no taco palace.

And the last $50 you take her to one of those splashy floor shows they got out there.

Is anybody keeping this straight?

Yeah, I got it.

It's $4,350, three weeks in Vegas six meals, one floor show, one plane ticket, one watch and a pair of shoes.

Oh, yeah, and the hugs and kisses.

You get all that?

Hmm?

I call.

What do you got?

Aces and Jacks.

Three sixes, you lose.

I lose?

You lose!

I'll have Ma packed and waiting for you.

♪ Hallelujah! ♪

( Children singing "Hallelujah" chorus )

♪ Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah... ♪

♪ Silent night ♪

♪ Holy night ♪

♪ All is calm ♪

♪ All is bright ♪

♪ Round yon virgin, mother and child... ♪ Oh, thank you.

♪ Holy infant so tender and mild... ♪ Hey, Louie.

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace. ♪

♪ Joy to the world, the Lord is come ♪

♪ Let Earth receive her King ♪

♪ Let every heart prepare Him room ♪

♪ And heaven and nature sing ♪

♪ And heaven and nature sing ♪

♪ And heaven and nature sing ♪

♪ Joy to the world ♪

♪ The Lord is come ♪

♪ Let Earth receive her King ♪

♪ Let every heart ♪

♪ Prepare Him room... ♪

♪ Let heaven and nature sing. ♪ WOMAN: Merry Christmas, Mr. Walters.

( Grunts )