Taxi S5E21 Script

Tony's Baby (1983)

(theme music playing)

Whoo! Hi!

Hoo! That was some run, huh?

I can't believe we did eight miles.

Wow! You ran eight miles?

No, no, no, no, I ran eight miles.

He drove alongside in his cab.

Well, the heater was stuck.

It was like an oven in there.

My body can't take that kind of strain.

Hey, Banta, There's an article in Boxing Monthly about that fighter you're fightin' on Tuesday night.

Oh, Gentry? Oh, let me see, let me see.

Oh, no, no, uh, let me, let me, uh... let me, let me read you a couple of choice passages.

"Gentry's left hand is a bludgeon.

It has removed more teeth than trench mouth."

Boy, the press loves him, huh?

Look at this guy. He's 15 and 0.

He's ranked by the WBC.

This is my big chance.

You know, I could really make a name for myself, Lou.

Yeah, "Gums Banta."

Tony, I have a question about this guy you're gonna fight.

Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, I know.

How'd I ever get a fight with a major contender, huh?

Not how. Why?

I mean, look at the last guy Gentry fought.

His face looks like it's inside out.

Is that how you wanna end up?

You mean, with a color photo in Boxing Monthly?

You bet. Oh, boy!

Boy, it musta taken a lotta stitches to close up that gap.

Jim, that's his mouth.

How 'bout gettin' outta those nifty togs and let's get some cabs on the road here?

Yeah, well, I'm gonna take a shower first.


Because I'm sweaty and I'm smelly, that's why.

Well, so is Lupus.

You don't see him wasting company time.

I'll see you guys at Mario's after the shift.


Oh, uh, I can't make it.

I got a date with Vicki.

Ooh, you guys have been seeing a lot of each other, huh?

Yeah, well, you know, she's real special, Elaine.

She's got this knack, you know.

No matter where we are, it could be the crummiest, sleaziest joint, she fits right in.

Come on. I wanna get some cabs on the road.

Nardo, 218.

ELAINE: I'll see you guys later.

Iggy, 305 Lupus, 411 Uh, Lupus, here, I bought you one of these, uh, little pine trees to put in your cab.

Go on! Go on!

Chehala, 710.

Uh, Grew, 814.

Hey, Vicki.

Hi, Tony.

What's the matter, huh?

You were supposed to see me tonight.

You couldn't wait, huh, huh?

(laughs) Knock it off.

You're getting sweat all over me.

You love it. You love it.


Listen, I just stopped by to tell you that, uh, I'm not gonna be able to make it later and, uh, I gotta go now.

Wait, wait, wait a minute.

Where ya goin'?

I've got a doctor's appointment.

Well, what's wrong?

Oh, I don't want tell you here in front of all these people.

Well, uh, come here some place private.

Hop in.

Yeah, yeah.

So, uh, what's wrong? You don't look sick.


I'm late. Ah, so what?

Doctors keep you waiting in their offices all the time.

No, no, I'm not late for my appointment.

I'm late for my monthly visit.

You're gonna go see your mother first.

Oh, Vicki.

No, Tony, I missed my period.

I think I might be pregnant.

How'd that happen?

I mean, you're always so careful.

I mean, what about all those precautions you take?

I don't take any precautions.

Well, where do you go when you say you'll be right back?

I just go and put on a little perfume.

Gee, I guess nothing's foolproof, huh?

Look, Tony, it's not for sure.

Oh, you mean, you've had false alarms before, right?

No, but there's always a first time.

Yeah. Well, you want me to go to the doctor with ya?

No. You've already done your part.

But I'll call you later and let you know what happens.

Okay. Good luck.

I'm gonna need it.

Okay, baby.

Hey, Banta, you look troubled.

You got a problem?

You ain't kidding, Louie.

Well, look, I'll tell ya what always worked for me.

You hit the road.

You get out there and ya drive and you forget your problems, and plus, you make a little money.

I mean, it beats sitting around here moping, doesn't it?

I think you're right, Louie.

Yeah, I wanna drive, man.

Give me a cab.

Sorry, all out.

(Elaine laughing)

ELAINE: Oh, Tony, hi. Hey.

ALEX: Everything all right?

Don't talk to me. I need to be alone.

You just want us to ignore you?


We'll just talk among ourselves.

We'll pretend you're not even here.

Okay, guys? Sure.

Let's pretend Tony's not even here.

Right, Jim.

This will be a blast.

I'm goin' first.

Has anyone ever noticed how Tony eats?

He's got the table manners of a Hun.


I mean, maybe I'm not Mr. Etiquette, but they should serve his food in a trough.

Will you knock it off?

Where did that come from?

It came from me. I'm right here.

You lose!

Okay, now let's pretend that I'm not here.

You're not all here, Jim.

Wait, wait, wait. Tony, this is ridiculous.

If you came here, you obviously want to talk to someone, so would it help to talk to Alex alone?

To me?

No, Elaine.

To Jim?

I'd rather talk to this pretzel.

I know what's bothering you.

You're worried about the fight, right?

Tony, Tony, you're in great shape.

You can't lose.

You're gonna take this guy.

I don't think you have a thing to worry about.

Alex, I'm not worried about the fight.

Well, you better start. That guy's a killer.

Come on. Let's get out of here.

I'm gonna stick around.

I'm payin' for the beer.

No, no, no, Jim, come on.

You always pay.

I mean, just because you have $3 million dollars doesn't mean you always have to pay.


No, of course not. Let Alex pay.


Not a cent more.

ELAINE/JIM: Hi, Vicki.

Hi, Vick.

Hi, Ton.

Hi, Vicki. Oh, here, sit down.

Did you take the test?


What'd the doctor say?

I want a drink.

The guy sounds like a lush.

How's he keep his license?

Tony, I'm saying I want a drink.

Oh. hey, Tommy. Yeah?

One beer, man.

So, what'd he say?

The doctor says I'm pregnant.

Make that two beers, huh, Tom?

Oh, well, uh, don't worry about a thing, Vicki.

I mean, uh, I'm gonna do the honorable thing.

I'm gonna marry ya.

I got a weekend off coming up.

You can wear my mom's wedding dress.

Tony, wait.

We can't wait, Vic.

I mean, I'll pick up the marriage licenses in the morning.

I think we need blood tests.

Tony, could you stop for a minute?

I really don't think it's that simple.

I know, I know it isn't.

There's bridesmaids, best man, the caterer, the music.

My cousin Vito could play the organ.

Oh, but if we use him, we gotta use his monkey.

Oh, come on, Tony!

Tony, you're being ridiculous! Please!

Hey, Vicki, we gotta get married, Vicki.

No, we don't have to get married.

Yes, we do, Vicki! We have to get married!

No, we don't have to get married.

And we're not going to!

There's no way I'm gonna marry a jerk like you... whether I'm carrying your baby or not!

Hey, Vicki!

This thing that's been bothering you, you still don't wanna talk about it?


Come on, Tony, whatever it is, you've gotta get it off your mind.

This is your big chance, Tony.

I mean, if you win this, you could be on your way to a ranking, right? I guess.

I mean, you worked hard to get here.

You wanna make all that hard work pay off, right?

I suppose.

You wanna show people out there what you can do.

You want people out there to remember the night when Tony Banta came from nowhere and beat Dean Gentry and escalated himself into the ranks of the boxing immortals, right?

That would be nice.

Then you gotta think positive!

You gotta believe you're gonna win!

Are you gonna win?!


(faintly): Maybe.

Louder! I can't hear ya!



After all that, I think I can go out and beat the guy myself.

(knocking) Come in.


TONY: Oh, hi, Elaine.

Tony, I just want you to know that, even though I don't like boxing, I really do hope it goes as well as can be expected and that it's not too terrible and that you manage to do whatever you need to do to that poor man before he does it to you.

Well, thanks, Elaine.

And, uh, if that was a pep talk, you did just as good as Alex.

You know, I really like your apartment.

It makes my place look like a hole in the wall.

Well, we just came here to wish you good luck.

See you out there.


Elegant, without being pretentious.

That's high tech.

Oh, oh, Jim, hey, come on, I'll show you the rest of the place.


See ya. Thanks.

ALEX: Come on, Tony.

Tony, we got to shock you out of this.

We got to get your adrenaline going.

We've just got to get it going.

You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna slap your face.

Why? I've seen that work.

I mean, it stimulates you. It shocks you.

It gets you out of the doldrums.

It's a... a stupid idea.

I don't know what I'm talking about.

Maybe it's a good idea, Alex.

It's worth a shot.

What was that?

If you're gonna slap me, slap me.


(loud slap)

How's that? Did it work?

No, and I think I got a loose filling now over here.

Hey, Tony.

Louie, what're you doing here?

I just came to check and see how Banta's feeling.

Would you get out of here?

You just came to check and see if your bet was still good.

Well, I admit I did bet against Banta, but that doesn't mean I don't care about him.

Look, Tony, I don't know exactly what it is you're, you're going through, but I know that it's eating you up inside.

Is there anything that I or anybody else can do to lift you out of this depression before the fight?

No, Louie.

Well, I guess I'm gonna go double my bet.

Is there a phone in here?

Louie, would you get out of here.

No telephone? Will you just get out of here, please?

You got a dime? No! Get out!

Oh, come on, Tony, Tony.

Now you've always been able to confide in me and trust in me.

Please, open up.

Alex, it's too personal.

Hey, Tony, looking good.

Hey, Leo, what do you say?

Hey, Alex, this is Leo Goodman.

He's my new manager.

This is Alex Reiger.

He's gonna work in our corner, Leo.

Welcome aboard.

Glad to have you in the corner.

Gonna be a hell of a fight tonight.

Uh, can I talk to you for a moment? What about?

I hope it's about sports. I know all about boxing.

No, it's about Tony.

He's very depressed.

Tony, depressed?

No, he-he looks pensive.

That's what I like... A pensive fighter.

It shows he's thinking.

Listen, listen, look, um, there's, there's a problem he's got that's really eating him up and I know that if I could find out what it is, I could really help him.

No, you know, I think that you are overly concerned.

You see, judging by the looks of him, it could only be one of two things.

Either he's got a girl pregnant or he's got piles.

If he's got piles, he would've told me.

Who's the girl? Vicki?

Yeah, Leo.

I'm glad we got that out in the open.

Feel better now?

Come on, let's get out there and really get going.

Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

You want to go through with this fight tonight?

What kind of a question is that?

All right, so he got a girl pregnant. So what?

I mean, it's not as bad as having his car repossessed.

Wait. That's a callous attitude, don't you think?

Well, I know, but he's like a son to me.

No, I mean, comparing it to having his car repossessed?

Well, it's a lousy comparison.

I'm the first one to admit that.

So what'd you say it for?

Well, 'cause it just come off the top of my head.

Here the boy's going out for the most important fight of his life.

What am I supposed to say?

You want me to say, "With all the burdens you got on your shoulders, you'll be lucky to make it through the first round?"

I mean, what kind of a manager would I be if I said something like that in front of him.

You didn't hear that, did you?

Yeah, I heard it.

Oh, so what. Come on.

No, wait a minute.

Tony, Tony, just tell me something.

How-how is Vicki taking this?

Oh, she's taking it terrible, Alex. She won't marry me.

She won't talk to me. She won't discuss it.

She won't... Look, hey, you two, you two, you know you can settle this walking to the ring.

It's a 45 second walk.

Wait a minute now.

45 seconds... we need more time than that.

Well, you'll probably have more time than that because I usually get lost.

(bell ringing)

ANNOUNCER: Introducing in the black corner, weighing in at an even 165 pounds, fighting out of Boston, a former Golden Gloves boxing champion, tenth ranked middleweight in the world with 11 knockouts in his 15 straight wins, the pride of Massachusetts, undefeated Dean "Big Bang" Gentry!

(audience cheering)

And over here, Tony Banta!

(crowd cheering)

I insist that all my fighters have short introductions.


'Cause I have to write them.

The referee now will give instructions.

Gene Le Bell.

(audience cheering)

Gentlemen, let's have a clean fight.

In the event of a knockdown, go to a neutral corner.

I want you to shake hands and good luck to both of you.

Alex, I don't care about this fight.

I can't get Vicki out of my mind.

I don't care if I win or lose.

What do you mean, you don't care if you win or lose?

You better care if you win or lose!

There's nothing you can do about Vicki right now.

The only thing you can do is concentrate on boxing, this fight, that's all.

This is the most important fight of your life.

You know, I don't think I could've said it as good myself.

And I'd like to add one thing to it.

After 53 years in the fight game, I'm retiring after the fight tonight is finished and I would like to go out with a winner.

Tony, it's up to you.

Oh, but, but, Leo, I may not win.

Oh, well, I'm just blowing air.

Listen, I'll be managing when I'm 100.

(bell ringing)

ALEX: Listen, Leo, I've known Tony a long time.

Despite whatever he says, when he feels that first punch, he's gonna snap out of it.


All right, come on!

Three, four, five... I see what you mean.

He looks better already.

(crowd cheering)

(bell rings)

You keep walking into his left hand out there.

It's the fourth round, Alex and she's not even here yet.

Well, you said she wasn't returning your phone calls.

Yeah, but at least I thought she'd come to my fight.

After all, I am the father of her child.

Tony, stop torturing yourself.

I can't, Alex, I can't help it.

I keep wondering, will I ever get married?

Will I ever see my kid?

Tony, look, she's not coming to the fight.

So just put it out of your mind.

Hey, are we still talking about Vicki?

Yeah! But she called.

Didn't I tell you?

She wanted you to get a ticket for her for the fight tonight.


You know I wanted to talk to her!

How come you didn't tell me?

Well, I forgot.

How could you forget? This was important.

How do you forget something like that?

I was busy.

I was writing your introduction.

Hey, Leo, you know what's wrong with you?

You're a crummy manager!

That's what's wrong with you! (bell ringing)

(mumbling angrily)

LEO: Save it for the fight, kid!

He's angry!

And he's angry 'cause I didn't deliver Vicki's message.

Hey, watch this.

Tony, Vicki called me 100 times and I forgot to tell you!

Go, Tony!



(bell dings)

(bell ringing)

Tony, Tony, great fight.

Great fight!

I think you may have beaten him on points.

You should have knocked him out when you had him on the ropes in the eighth.


How long you been here?

Since the start of the fight.

Well, how come you didn't sit ringside?

Because it's hard watching the guy you love being force-fed his own nose.

What was that word you used?


That's the thing in the middle of your face he was trying to push to the back of your head.

No, not nose, you said love.

If you love me, why won't you marry me?

Because you didn't ask me to marry you.

You told me we had to.

If you'd asked me, I might have said yes.

All right, I'm asking.

Will you marry me?

That's supposed to be a proposal?

In most countries, it is.

No, usually the guy tells the girl he loves her.

Okay, fine, I love you.

You satisfied?


All I wanted was a little tenderness.

All right, will you marry me, yes or no?

Would you ask me to marry you if I wasn't pregnant?


Would you ask me to marry you if you hadn't been hit in the head for 10 rounds?

Ooh, what's that supposed to mean?

You know what that means. I'd like to hit you...

Ask her to marry you and make it nice.

I already did.

Well, ask her again.

All right.

Would you marry me?

I have to think about it.

Well, I... No, no, no!

(bell ringing)

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a split decision!

Oh, come on, Vicki, marry me.

Judge Harold Lederman at ringside scores it

97 to 95 in favor of Dean Gentry.

Come on, Vicki, please?

Judge Eric Billson, also at ringside, sees it 95 to 93 in favor of Tony Banta.

(crowd cheering)

Please, please, please, please?

The deciding ballot cast by referee Gene Le Bell, he scores it 94 to 92 in favor of the winner...

Okay, I'll marry you.

Dean Gentry!


For a minute, I thought Gentry won.

He did, but Tony's a good loser.

Good? He's great!


Good night, fellas. All right, Leo, take it easy.

Hey, thanks a lot, Lee. Good night, Leo.

Alex, you think Vicki meant it when she said she loves me?

Yeah, I think so, yes.

You think I meant it when I said I love her?

Well, I thought so at the time, yeah.

Yeah, so did I.

No, I mean, hey, what difference does it make?

I mean, I got to marry her.

It's the honorable thing to do.

I mean, who knows, maybe I do love her.

Hey, Alex, how do you know?

How do you know when the woman comes along that you want to love for the rest of your life?

Well, that's a question for a wiser man than I.

Hmm, you're right.

I'll go see if I can catch up to Leo.

Leo! Leo! Hey, Leo!


(theme song playing)

WOMAN: Good night, Mr. Walters!

(man grumbling)