Teen Spirit (2011) Script

NARRATOR: Behold.

Before you are the most popular students at Ashley High School.

In a world governed by the laws of teenage physics, these girls are the gravitational force around which all else revolves.

Royalty, if you will.

And they rule their kingdom with an iron fashion sense.

But if you think royal treatment is all they seek, don't be fooled.

A queen isn't really a queen until she gets... her crown.

It's prom. Prom. You need a date, or it's a reflection on me.

-Not just anybody. A-list. -A-list.

-Two varsity letters are better. -Two.

Okay, okay.

-A-list, two letters. Got it. -Good.

NARRATOR: And these poor dears are Ashley High School's least popular students.

Isolated from the mainstream, our outcasts retreat each afternoon to a dank garage, making little piggy movies that other outcasts will watch from their own dreary rooms.

The pig looks tense. It can't be tense for this shot.

[INDIE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Relax, pig.

She was the heart in your heartbreak She was the miss in your mistake Clear.

[BEEPING]

Cut, cut, cut. I'm not feeling the drama.

We gotta go bigger, much bigger.

NARRATOR: Rarely do these two groups ever come in actual contact with one another.

And that's really for the best.

I don't want stray ninth or tenth-grade votes.

-Absolutely. We'll round them up. -Round them up.

-You're going to be prom queen. -What do you want?

Every vote in the whole school?

Yes.

Remember that sad, sickly boy who died last year?

I want his vote. Is anybody unclear? I think it's pretty simple.

-So clear. -Like crystal.

Good.

Oink, oink. Snore.

MAN: And go.

[OINKING]

COLIN: And music.

[PIANO MOTIF PLAYING]

Crazy pig turns up the volume.

[PIANO MOTIF PLAYING]

Mmm.

Crazy pig goes overboard.

[PIG LAUGHING]

Pigs are exploding, and I'm getting nothing.

It's just empty noise.

-Maybe Lisa should speed it up a bit. -I have an idea. Hold on.

Check this out.

[PLAYS BANJO MOTIF]

[MOOS]

Yes.

Finally. Another artist to help carry the load.

RAJ: Great, Lisa. -Oh, good. No one's in here.

-Uh, excuse me. -Oh, forgive us. Nobody of consequence.

Amber needs this room for an election strategy meeting.

-Important strategy meeting. CARLITA: Now, get out.

Hey. You don't own this school.

Watch out, girls. The elf bites.

Yeah, she's right. You can't do this.

It's not--

-It's just not-- -What's the matter? Piggy got your tongue?

No, Carlita. More like having no life got her tongue.

Go.

NARRATOR: As you can see, when populars and unpopulars collide, it's not pretty.

Nevertheless, it's sometimes inevitable. Fate, as it were.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Easy to do when you're omniscient.

So I'll just let our tale unfold and say no more.

Not another word.

Absolutely finished now.

Everybody, getting naughty Shake your body Shake your body Everybody getting naughty Shake your body Hey, DJ, turn me out You gotta keep me movin' Till the moon goes down If you want to show me Get below me Shake your thing Mom? Can you come up here?

Mom's on the phone.

-Tell her I want her to see my dress. -Mom, she wants you to see her dress.

[SIGHS]

I'm working. For God's sake.

-I think you look pretty, Amber. AMBER: Whatever.

[DOOR SLAMS]

We can't represent these people if they're gonna second-guess me every time there's some lowball offer.

What is so important?

-Do you like it? -What, the dress? It's fine.

I was thinking maybe I could wear your diamond hoops?

For good luck, since you wore them when you won prom queen.

Amber, please don't tell me you're relying on luck to win you a crown.

You have to reach out and take the things you want.

-I know. I just wanted to show you my-- -Oh, I had another thought. Yes.

Right.

I think we should delay...

It's just darling. [LAUGHS]

-No one will know it was mine. -It's been so long, witnesses are dead.

Stop it. Tonight can be fun if you just let it be.

Are you gonna help me out at all with this?

I know you're feeling awkward going without a date, but the school website said there'll be lots of solo kids.

There's no stigma to it.

No stigma at all. Welcome, losers.

Hush. That is not the attitude to walk in there with.

I said I'd go. That's all you get.

[LAUGHS]

You know what? I think that's the dress I was wearing when we made you. Right, Henry?

-Stop. -He was such a tiger back then.

Mom, stop.

I know, I know.

"If accepted at Juilliard...

I would be..."

So freaking grateful to have an actual life.

"If accepted...

I would bring my great enthusiasm for all musical forms, including voice and composition."

Hey. I didn't think I'd see you here.

BOY: Hey, Nick, how's it going? -What's up? You ready for this?

Sure, Nick. I'd love to dance.

Just let me get rid of my imaginary date first.

Put on your shades

'Cause I'll be dancing In the flames tonight I'm on the edge with you With you, with you, with you I'm on the edge with you With you, with you, with you

Here you go.

Ha. Seriously?

[PHONE RINGS]

AMBER: Paisley, we're here. -Great.

Voting just ended. Perfect timing.

What are you doing?

Dropping you off. There aren't any close spots.

You don't expect the queen to walk in there alone, do you?

I need to make an entrance.

-Yeah, but I'm not-- -Make a spot. Now.

[GLASS BREAKING]

-Oh, man. -Don't worry about it, we're late.

Come on. Move it.

You gotta show me, show me Show me, show me If you say it feels right Say it to me all night Hey, Amber.

-Hey, girl. -What's up, Amber?

Hey, girl.

Show me, show me Show me, show me love Show me love Show me, show me love Yeah. Yes, indeed.

Let's give it up for mixmaster Ashley Eagle.

[CHEERING]

And as our hard-working vote committee is tallying up the results, I'd like to welcome all of the students tonight that do not have dates.

Feel better, Barry?

Awesome. Ah!

I've just been handed an envelope. I wonder what's inside.

What do you think, mixmaster?

All right. Now, this year's Ashley High School Queen of the Prom is...

Holy Toledo.

For the first time in school history, a unanimous decision.

[ELECTRICAL BUZZING]

Amber Pollock.

Yes.

[ALL CHEERING]

-Amber, no. It's too dangerous. -That crown is mine.

[STUDENTS SCREAMING]

[CROWD CLAMORING]

It's okay, it's okay. I'm all right.

-Stand back, don't touch her. -People, hey, I'm over here.

No, not moving at all.

Oh, yeah. As a doornail.

No! I can't be dead.

This is so unfair. I had it in my hands.

Are you kidding me?

I always knew heaven wouldn't allow nasty cuticles.

-Do you have an appointment? -But no one's even here.

That's because they all have their own place to wait.

Oh, so... This isn't heaven?

Let's just say it's kind of halfway.

Like limbo, made just for you.

Ah, Amber Pollock.

Date of death, right now. Can you believe how speedy these gadgets are?

I really think they're the future.

Oh. Oh, well... Weren't you a nasty piece of business.

-What's that supposed to mean? -Ashley High consensus says, "Queen bitch."

[GASPS]

Pretty hellish, I'd say.

Hellish? That doesn't mean I'm going to--

Not as yet. Your life arc was interrupted before reaching its full formation, so you get an opportunity to raise your scores.

Putting it in high school terms, you're, like, getting an extension.

Oh.

So I'm, like, repeating a grade? I have to go back?

Not in corporeal form. You'll be more like a spirit.

And you'll have a specific task to accomplish.

If you succeed, it's wings and a harp, never a bad hair day, and you'll always be model-thin.

If you fail, well...

How do you look in asbestos?

[ALARM BEEPING]

Oh, lookie here. The task they've given you is rather ironic, since you were nearly crowned prom queen.

-It was unanimous, you know. -Lucky you.

You must take the least popular student and get this individual elected queen at the make-up prom in one week.

-What? -And here she is, the misshapen lump of clay that you must mold.

She doesn't go to my school.

Lisa Sommers. Been in your class for eight years.

She was your lab partner in freshman biology.

No. I've never seen her in my life.

Maybe this will help.

That girl? Prom queen?

-Is this a joke? -Listen, sister, you have one week.

[SIGHS]

MAN: Loss and grief, as we are all experiencing today, is best expressed by those closest to the one we have lost.

Thank you to those who showed up today.

Well, this seems to be it, so we might as well start.

Is this all for me?

I'd like those closest to Amber to come up and share your love for her.

A memory, an anecdote, a short story of what she meant to you.

Let me just say thank you.

Thank you all.

[AMBER SIGHS]

Hello?

Hello?

We have microphones on either side of the stage, so please take as much time as needed to honor Amber.

RICHARDSON: All right, then. -Hey.

Let's have a moment of silence for Amber.

[SIGHS]

Oh, honey.

And on prom night, of all nights, she's gotta die.

You know, she promised me, promised that when she got that crown, she was finally gonna let me do her.

I dented my car because of her. And what do I get?

Nothing.

This is worse than dying.

Where is my group? Where are my girls?

PHONE BEEPS That was beautiful.

I will now unveil the memorial portrait that will hang on the wall across from the teacher's lounge where we hang pictures of other people who have died.

[ALL LAUGHING]

You like the photo I picked?

Stop laughing, all of you.

-I demand you to stop laughing now. -Amber?

-Do you see what I see? -I see justice.

Why, what do you see?

AMBER: No. No. -Lisa?

Okey-dokey. That was so moving.

Well, the Saturday committees for make-up prom will meet after lunch.

And let's make it a safe one, okay?

Where are you all going? This is so wrong. You all love me.

Somebody say something now. I'm popular.

I'm the most popular.

-You. You can see me. -Mm-mm. No. No, I can't.

You can see me and hear me. Wait. Come back. I need to talk to you.

There you are. Stay right there.

Whoa.

That was kind of cool.

Hey.

[COLIN CLEARS THROAT]

Oh, hello.

That's 20 minutes of my life I'm never getting back.

The girl died. It's genuinely sad. Show a little respect.

Oh, bless you, nameless nerd boy.

[GRUNTING]

And everyone wonders why I never date. Chicks are just crazy.

It's just stress, Lisa. That's all.

Music school applications, senior anxiety.

It's a natural reaction.

This whole "you run, I chase" thing is getting boring fast.

Why are you here? What did I do?

Nothing, from what I can tell.

It's what I'm gonna do for you.

Get out of here. Now.

GIRL: Hey, it's a public bathroom. -Yes, of course.

Okay, I'll give you five minutes. Just not in here.

Prom queen? Me?

Yep, by Saturday.

Okay. Joke's over. Lisa Sommers officially looks like a fool.

-Hooray to whoever's doing this. -You think I could make this up?

-I admit, you're not that smart. -Excuse me.

It just doesn't make sense.

Why would I want to help you?

Because I'm the only one that can help you.

Don't you see? I can make you popular.

I don't want to be popular.

Oh, poor thing.

Everyone wants to be popular.

With me in charge, you'll be the talk of the school.

Everyone will be wondering, "What's Liza wearing today?

Where's Liza going tonight?"

-It's Lisa. -If you're popular, people know that.

-My friends know. -All two?

-Three. -If you don't want to be popular, what exactly do you want?

I want to get out of here. I want to go to music school.

Live in a world where they don't judge you by how many people sit with you at lunch.

Instead... they appreciate the fact that your playlist not only has the newest Gaga, but all of Haydn's symphonies, Charles Ives' concord sonata, and the Ella Fitzgerald songbooks, because they're all magic works of genius, and they transport me.

[YAWNS]

You done yet?

-You're deader than I am. -And you're a vacuous shrew.

Do this for me, otherwise they'll send me to hell. I don't wanna go.

Why? There'll be so many people like you.

-I can't believe you don't wanna help me. -You know what?

I won't get another chance to say this and make it happen, but for all I care, you can go to hell.

I want a new person. This one's impossible.

She's stubborn, doesn't listen to reason, and she only cares about what she wants. I hate her.

Why? Too much like yourself?

I offered her the greatest gift of high school, complete popularity.

-And she tells me to go to hell. -Amber, dear, sweet child, sometimes we can't accomplish a task simply by browbeating the weak.

Why not?

Often, and I know this is a radical notion for you, we must actually think of the other person.

But that sounds really hard.

Very well, then. We won't put you through any more of this.

Hello, this is J-3 in arbitration.

I have a Miss Amber Pollock.

She's given up and is ready for processing.

Uh-huh. I'll ask.

Would you prefer being slowly skinned by demons, or having your pretty nails pulled out, one by one?

[GASPS]

I know. Hard to imagine clawing your way past the little people without ten little talons of sinful ruby rouge number 17.

Tacky, by the way.

-I guess I can give Lisa one more shot. -You'd do that for her?

How sweet.

You have ghostly powers. Use them.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

Lise, I've been waiting for you.

I didn't wanna come up behind you because you're kind of jumpy.

-What? What makes you say that? -The fact that you're kind of jumpy.

Are you okay? What happened this morning?

Can I ask you something? But you have to keep it between us.

Come on, we're best friends.

What if I told you Amber Pollock visited me today?

You mean, like, as a ghost, or some kind of spirit?

Hearing the words out loud makes it seem more crazy.

Forget I said anything.

Lise, you're freaking me out.

-Are you really seeing Amber? -I don't know, Selena.

Maybe this is some kind of freakish dream.

Or maybe I'm unconscious from a high fever that's causing me to hallucinate, and hopefully sweat off that donut I ate this morning.

Or maybe I'm going completely insane.

Okay, not true. A lot of people see ghosts.

My aunt Marielle sees them all the time.

Of course, there was that week when she bathed in ketchup. But she's not insane.

And she says ghosts are nothing to mess with, so be careful.

I don't even have time to think about this right now.

Whatever it was is gone, thank God, and I have to concentrate on real things.

You'll go to the field and pretend to do homework

-while you stare at Nick Ramsey? -It's more of a delusion, but I'm comfortable with it.

-As long as you're sure you're okay. -Yeah. Thanks.

BOY: Hey, Nick. This one's to you.

-So, Nick Ramsey. -Ugh. Please get out of my life.

Yay, Nick! Nice butt.

-Good choice. -Choice? He doesn't even know I'm alive.

I could get him for you.

[CHUCKLES THEN SNORTS]

What if I told you I could have you in his arms like that?

BOY: Set. Blue 42. -Yeah, right.

BOY: Blue 42. Hut. Hike.

MAN: Heads up! Look out!

Are you okay?

You're Lisa Sommers, right?

You and your friends make those clay pig movies?

I watch them online. They're funny.

Lisa. I'm-- I'm Lisa.

BOY: Nick. You done over there? Come on.

I gotta go.

-A lot more where that came from. -He has strong hands.

And he's just between girlfriends. Perfect time to make your move.

No, no, I can't. I'm just-- I'm not--

No, no, no. I'm not. I'm not.

Well said.

We were almost friends in seventh grade.

A bunch of us went to his house to watch him feed his pet snake.

Then everything changed over the summer.

Some girls got breasts. I got braces and piano lessons.

And he got tall and athletic. And we all know how that turned out.

I wonder what might have happened if I had the courage to say, "Hey, Nick, cool snake," you know?

You're like a human sleeping pill.

-Don't talk like that on a date. -He knows my name. He's seen Pig Tales.

I should leave him a cool little message in the next movie.

I only have five days. You don't have to like me, but I know how to hook a boy. Are you really willing to pass that up?

So it all starts with how you look.

I know, it's what's on the inside that counts, which only ugly people say, by the way.

But we're talking about hardball high school popularity, which is based on looks by about... 170 percent.

And the good news is, you're not ugly... exactly.

Gotta work on your presentation.

-And that's what my life is all about. -Was.

Okay, fine. Was.

That's why we're doing this together.

You're gonna help me get into heaven, and I'm gonna help get Nick into you.

Emotionally.

Wait. That's my sister.

That's Clementine.

God, she looks so sad.

I wonder what happened.

-You died on Saturday. -Oh, yeah.

I gotta go. I'll catch you later.

In the meantime, wax.

Everything.

Hey, Mom. Did you go to the office at all today?

Your sister got into Washington College.

I didn't even know she applied. Why didn't she tell me?

-I told you. -She told you.

You said I wasn't good enough to get into the school you went.

Now what do I do with this?

I'm gonna start dinner, because people get hungry, you know.

You did it, honey.

With no help from me.

You went out and got it.

I'll be damned.

You, Lisa Sommers, actually spoke to Nick Ramsey?

-Mm-hm, I did. -Clear.

Perfecto. Click me off two frames, Raj.

[SHUTTER CLICKS]

It's speaking to me, people. Let's pick it up.

Today you finally talked to him after five years of slack-jawed gawking.

I don't know, things just-- Things just happen. It was weird.

No, they don't. Not with you.

-Clear. -Wait, wait, cut.

I wanna shoot this next one from above. Let's go outside and grab the ladder.

Are you sure you're okay?

Because earlier, things got a little, well... You know.

Of course. I'm better than okay.

I'm thinking of running for prom queen.

What?

Okay.

Who was the first boy that tried to kiss me, and when?

-What are you--? -Just answer the question.

Your cousin Leo, at your grandma's when you were 10.

What the hell is wrong with you?

I had to make sure it was you in there. Seriously? Prom queen?

Who are you?

Prom queen.

[LISA SINGING] Give me a reason why I won't No, I don't care Don't wanna be typical

[AMBER SINGING] You could say everything to me...

Mom? Hello?

No, I don't care Don't want to be typical Excuse me.

Nice voice. The tune, is that something you wrote?

Have you ever heard of privacy?

I knew I had my work cut out for me, but this...

Please. Nothing goes with anything.

The Salvation Army would reject this entire closet.

-You're not going to school today. -What? Why?

You're calling in unattractive.

We'll go to the mall and get you outfits from this time period.

Are you all right? Did you see your sister?

Yeah, I saw her.

-Is she okay? -Let's just focus on the job at hand, which is making you look better. I could use your help.

Lise, were you talking to somebody?

No. Not really.

I was thinking of skipping school so maybe I could go buy a new outfit for Saturday's make-up prom.

Are you crazy? You can't tell your mom.

You want to buy a new outfit?

Oh, honey.

That's wonderful.

Do you need money? I'll just take some out of your dad's wallet.

So do you always tell your parents the truth?

-What do you do when you sneak out? -I don't sneak out.

Come on. Even Amish girls sneak out to... raise a barn or something.

Did you have to make it this hard?

Try on that blue outfit.

How do you like it?

-This is not me. -That's the point.

If they sold you here, they'd go out of business.

-I can't wear this. -Why?

-Someone might find out you're cute? -I am not.

I hate to deliver the bad news, but you are.

You've got boobs, which you're in denial about, and actual legs, which you could show off on occasion.

-And a nice butt. -Are you coming on to me?

Honey, I'm telling you what guys like. And it's not that complicated.

Now, zip it down.

Hike it up.

The dress.

Now do this.

-No, I refuse. -Do it. Think of Nick.

You're not ready for that. Let's stick to the clothes. Hold that up.

No, you couldn't pull it off. I could.

Oh, I would so kill in that dress.

How'd you do that?

I don't know.

I thought I was gonna be stuck in that prom dress forever.

Oh, my God. I have fashion powers.

[AMBER LAUGHS]


[PHONE RINGING]

-You told her we're meeting for lunch? -You were standing right there.

Then she must be sick.

-She'd better not be blowing us off. -Who said we were being blown off?

She-- She wouldn't do that.

-How about a shorter cut with highlights? -No.

Okay. What about a swoop bang and some lowlights?

I don't think so.

-Maybe we should just turn the lights off. -Hey.

We can dye it blond.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Bad idea.

I know what'll fix this mess. Let's add some length.

Oh, it's nice.

Every girl needs her signature scents that their boy can find in the dark.

Great. So it's like being sniffed out by a dog.

-Look at that. -What?

Zac Efron boy over there.

-He's not looking at me. -Well, he's sure not looking at me.

This is perfect, a starter boy.

-Call him over. -I don't know his name.

Call him over.

Hi. Um, I never know what to say to a pretty girl.

Well, that's not a bad start.

-Say it. -That's not a bad start.

-Damn cute, isn't he? -Damn cute, isn't he?

-Just say hi. -Hi.

Hi, my name's Aiden.

-Now tell him your name. -Back off.

-Sorry, I was just-- -No, no, no. You're fine.

I'm Lisa. And I have to go.

-What? -Right now?

Yep. I was here buying things for my prom, and now I'm done.

-What are you doing? He's great. -If I come by tomorrow, will I see you?

I don't know. Probably not. Bye.

You just discarded a perfectly good boy. Congrats.

What if it led to something? What if he asked me out?

This is about Nick, not some guy in a store.

These moral convictions of yours are only getting in the way.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

Everybody's gonna laugh at me.

They'll say, "Who are you fooling?"

-I'm going home. -No, you're not.

You wanna be an unpopular nonentity for the rest of your life?

-Yes. I'm good at it. -This is about confidence.

Nobody actually has it. You just have to project it.

-I'm out. -No, you're not.

That was so weird. What the hell just happened?

I don't know. But I love that I can do that.

[GASPS]

Would you stop fighting me? What am I supposed to do?

Nothing. Let me drive.

No. Yes. No. Yes.

Go.


This is amazing. Quiet.

Morning, boys. Could you do me the hugest favor?

I need your signature for my prom queen petition. Would you mind?

-Thank you. -Thank you.

Luke, great shirt. Looks good on you.

Kyle, did you get a haircut? It works.

This is so fun.

What the hell happened to her? She's obviously not sick.

-She looks great, like a different person. -Yeah, a person crying for help.

Oh, my God, what a rush.

Is this what popularity feels like?

Yes. And that's just a taste.

You want to fly solo?

Can I?

Let's see it.

No, no, no. Not them. They have no heat. You need to seek the heat.

Hi.

Yes. Nice. That's some heat.

-Hi, Adam. -Lisa, is that you?

Would you do me the giant-est favor in the world?

Have you been working out?

-Like, at the gym and stuff? -Yeah. See you.

Well, look at you, all talking to the boys.

I wanna walk down this hallway for the rest of my life.

Hey, has anybody here not signed Carlita's prom queen petition?

Carlita's running against me? I mean, against you?

-Is that bad? -It's terrible. I taught her everything.

She'll annihilate us.

Come on. You're Amber Pollock.

What does she have that we don't?

-Nick. -Nick.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

You said he was between girlfriends.

That's not between. That's on. Did you see that kiss?

How could Carlita do this to me?

That crown was mine to give, and I didn't pick her.

That wannabe is not sending me to hell.

He's never gonna put his big strong hand on my butt again.

We can still get him for you. As soon as we stop Carlita.

We just have to figure out what her next move is.

-How? -Gee, I don't know.

It's not like one of us is invisible and can walk through walls or anything.

-Here he comes. -Looks like he's getting over Amber.

-So how come you didn't go for Brandon? -And pick up Amber's scraps?

No. That's a loser move.

I wanted somebody on the way up. Nick.

Smart move. Way up. Nick.

-She's in my seat. CARLITA: All right, guys, Friday night, everybody who's cool will be at my house.

Next day, everybody's buzzing about it, which carries right into the prom voting Saturday night.

So it has to be a great party.

-Uh, mm-hm. -Paisley, can you get your stoner brother to stop playing video games long enough to buy us beer?

-Good. And, Dakota... -"Dakota."

Your friend's band, Panda House, get them.

But they don't do parties anymore.

-Tell them you'll sleep with them. -Okay.

These are all the important people.

Why not invite everybody to the party?

Paisley, you still need a ruling class for the pathetic people to look up to.

If I invite the masses, I come off as... approachable.

And that's dead.

Not stupid Amber electrocution dead, but pretty close.

[GASPS]

You... look thirsty.

Let's roll, girls.

The world has people for that.

Ugh!

Thanks, Aunt Marielle. You're the only one who can help me.

-Give me the photos. -Something is going on.

I don't if she's trying to take over Lisa's body, or steal her soul, God knows, but I'm not giving up my best friend without a fight.

We must break her grip and deliver Amber to her ultimate destination.

But how? We can't even see her.

You don't see spirits with your eyes.

You see them with... inner vision.

Like eyes... inside your body.

And you wonder why people think you're a whack job?

-Do you wanna see the ghost? -Yes.

Now, I will attempt to conjure her from these photos.

She was very powerful in life, wasn't she?

Think medusa with blond snakes and killer pumps.

Now, this Amber?

Her soul is in peril, and your friend is the key.

-Does that mean Lisa's in danger? -It does. Their bond is strong.

-There's only one way to stop her. -Tell me.

What's the last thing Amber touched before she left this plane?

I know.

And I'm gonna get it.

I'm gonna get you, ghost bitch.

LISA: Carlita's throwing a party?

AMBER: And you're gonna throw one too. LISA: Won't hers be better?

AMBER: Let's just say hers is gonna run into a little trouble.

This one's still logged on.

Great. They can't trace it back to you.

This is so wrong.

What's your point? Write the email.

Right.

Oh, wait. You got Carlita's address wrong. It's Fairview Place, not Lane.

Come on.

-Ready to send? -I feel almost... criminal.

-Do you want to feel almost Nick? -Sending.

It's out there.

Blackberries are jingling, iPhones are shaking.

I feel it too. Being bad is exciting.

Welcome to life.

Now let's go.

[PHONES BEEPING AND RINGING]

[CHATTERING]

BOY: Party time. GIRL: We're ready to party.

-What are you doing here? STUDENTS: Party.

-Party's tomorrow. -Why'd you send the message?

What message?

-I didn't send that. GIRL: Say cheese.

CARLITA: No, don't. -What the hell is this?

Get the car off my lawn, you punk.

I'm calling the police.

[STUDENTS GROAN]

GIRL: Hey, there's another party.

[CHATTERING]


BOY: Lisa, when did you plan this party? LISA: I just kind of threw it together.

My parents got a free spa weekend, -so put the drinks anywhere. BOY: The band's here.

-Thank you for doing this on short notice. -No problem. We're gonna go set up.

It was fantastic. Carlita never knew what hit her.

GIRL: Awesome party, Lisa. -Have a nice time.

People are really showing up.

Go ahead and mix. Don't stay talking to yourself.

-That was the old me. -You never went to parties.

Right again.

I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got a party to host.

[BOTH LAUGH]

How do people leave the house without my help?

Eh.

I'm confused. Why would Carlita send us to a party that isn't hers?

We're checking the competition. It's intelligence.

Oh, cool. I love being intelligence.

-This is such a great party. -Totally great.

-It's like something Amber would've done. -You think?

[SHAPES OF RACE CARS' "GET MELTED!" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Nick is here. I don't know what to say.

You're not gonna say anything.

I called Carlita, and she was crying, and she started yelling.

I asked her what happened, but she hung up on me.

I'll tell you what happened. Somebody burned her good.

-Huh. Should I call her again? -No. She'll just hang up.

BOY 1: Best party of the year. BOY 2: Definitely.

So whose house is this, anyway?

Lisa Sommers, that music weirdo who turned red hot in two days.

So red hot.

Hmm.

Are you kidding me? I only do that in the shower.

AMBER: That's it, I'm coming in. -I'm not-- You cannot make me.

Stop it. Stop it. Get out of me. Get out of me.

[EXHALES]

Can you guys do me the hugest favor in the world?

[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

Just keep it simple and follow me. Thanks.

[BAND PLAYING "TYPICAL"]

So you think you see the truth But you don't have a clue I'm not someone who's here to lose I can't do this. You already are.

Hey, I'm something new today So stay the hell away Unless you got something to say You can be anything you want Give me a reason why you won't No, I don't care Don't wanna be typical You can say everything to me I know who I am and you will see So stop and stare I'm not invisible Not gonna be typical I'm doing this. I know.

This is amazing. Lisa, it's your voice. I just got you up here.

Can I get out so I can watch you? No, no, no--

Someone who's lost Looking for the answer Someone who's scared I know I can do this I know I can do this Yeah, I can be anything I want Give me a reason why I won't No, I don't care Don't wanna be typical You can say everything to me I know who I am, and you will see So stop and stare I'm not invisible Not gonna be typical

Oh, not gonna be typical

Not gonna be ALL: Yeah!

[ALL CHEERING]

Thanks for coming.

That-- That was amazing.

The things I have to do to get your attention.

-Nice. -Thank you.

No, thank you.

[SHAPES OF RACE CARS' "BORING VILLAINS" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

You really surprised people tonight.

-Did I surprise you? -Yes, you did.

I've kind of been going out with Carlita, but it's not real serious.

It's just been a few days.

Do you remember back in the seventh grade when I had people over to watch me feed Jimbo?

You know, my pet snake.

I was thinking about that the other day. You were there, right?

Wow.

Seventh grade. Um, maybe. Who even remembers that far back?

[LAUGHS]

I'm gonna go tell Carlita things aren't working out.

-I would like that. -Yeah?

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

-Oh, my God. She looks horrible. Ha, ha. -So horrible.

I know. I got sent 15 different pictures. It's just too awful.

So awful.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[STUDENTS LAUGHING AND CHATTERING]


-Do you need me for this? -I've got it from here.

PAISLEY: So, Lisa, what are you doing for lunch?

This is some strange...

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

SELENA: I know you're in there, Amber.

Leave my friend alone. You're messing with the wrong girl.

Selena, are you okay?

I will get you.

Isn't it pathetic how some people can't handle other people's success?

Hey, Lise, how was the big party we weren't invited to?

As awesome as everyone who was invited says?

Colin, come on. She's still our friend.

-Is she, now? -Excuse me, boys, but doesn't the Virgins' Club meet during lunch to polish their purity rings?

Oh, golly, that is so rich.

I'm gonna process that and laugh later.

You know, while you're out getting your STD shots.

Guys, guys, guys. The party was a last-minute thing.

I meant to call. I just--

Only invited the cool people because that's how it works.

Colin, give her a chance.

Yeah, it was-- I was--

It was a--

-I just-- -Got it.

Thanks for clearing that up.

We've got to finish this pig movie tonight. So are you there?

Or is being cool your new full-time gig these days?

Uh...

Sorry I missed our lunch plans, but I was too busy getting this.

For me?

I had no other creative way to ask you to prom tomorrow night.

[COLIN CLEARS THROAT]

Yeah. Right. Guys.

Uh...

Things have gotten crazy in the last couple of days.

I don't have time for the movie right now. Maybe on the next one.

That was hard. Skinny and Runt Boy liked you when you were nothing.

And, believe me, you were nothing.

But that was a bold move.

You know, I think you're finally getting this.

I'll make it up to them after prom.

I'll rub some of my new popularity off on them, then they'll understand.

RAJ: Lisa, hey. -Hey.

I know you got a lot of new stuff going on, and that's great.

And Colin is... Well, heh, he's Colin.

But we need you on the movie. We count on you.

I count on you.

I know, Raj.

Maybe sometime next week.

Mr. Kurkuri.

You were logged onto computer terminal 14 yesterday after school, right?

You were logged on to that computer until this morning.

-I guess I forgot to log off. -Oh, did you, now?

Did you know there was a bogus e-mail sent from that computer about a social event held by a student at this school?

That action is a suspendable offense.

It also created damage which happened to another student's house, which you'll have to take up with the police.

-I was just trying to buy a-- -Do you know anything about this?

No, nothing.

-But I'm sure it was just a goof. -A rather serious goof.

Come with me. We're gonna talk to your parents.

Wow. Well, that didn't work out as I expected.

Uh, maybe we should do something about it.

Raj will be fine.

I can't risk getting nailed for this one day before the prom.

I'm doing this for both of us.

I need to be elected queen, and you need to get into heaven, which we wouldn't have to worry about if you were nicer.

I can be nice.

-Sometimes. -Maybe when you were 5, but that girl's long gone.

Oh, I like your jeans.


I was 5.

-I miss you. -I miss you.

-Are you gonna do this every day? -I don't know.

I need this form for my science field trip.

You still haven't signed it.

-I didn't? -You didn't.

You're not looking at her, Mom.

Look at her.

Mom, I'm trying to hold this house together.

But I could use a little help.

Do you even hear me?

AMBER: She's crying out for you.

This is it, Mom.

You want to make it up to me, do something for her.

For Clementine.

Mom.


I'm going to be there for you.

I haven't been.

I'm gonna do better.

Better.

We'll all be...

[BELL JINGLING, AMBER GASPS]

Mom? Clem?

What's going on?

We're-- We're putting an end to all your evil ghost plans, Amber Pollock.

Do we know each other?

We've been in the same class for nine years. Jeez.

Really?

-Did you change your hair? -No.

Listen, evil one, we have you now, and you'll never bother Lisa again.

-You've totally corrupted her. -I know, I know.

Everything that was bad about me, the way I treated people, it's her now, and it's all my fault.

What are you doing? Is this a trick?

Please let me go. I have to talk to Lisa.

You think that after what you've done, we'll let you free to do more? Ha!

Selena, I sense remorse.

And only a spirit can undo what a spirit has done.

Thank you... weird lady.

Well said.

Okay. Okay.

You have to promise to turn Lisa back into the nice girl she was.

I really want to, but it's not gonna be easy.

I mean, she's hot and sexy and popular now, and it's hard to give up.

You wouldn't know. Obviously.

Sorry. That slipped.

Oh, my gosh. Of course.

You're that mousy brainiac who skipped a grade.

That's me. Smart... and mousy.

You look a lot better now.

But that purple eye shadow? Not helping.

She's right about the eye shadow.

Go. Save Lisa.

Boy, it is great in here.

You've got the candles over there.

We've got you and me right here.

We've got my parents still out of town till Sunday.

Lisa, we need to talk.

-Not now. -Okay.

No, no, no, you're fine.

Seriously. It's very important.

Now is not a time for talking.

Oh, yeah.

[CHE GUEVARA & MANUEL SEAL'S "LUV CHILD" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Wow, that was nice.

AMBER: I'm not leaving, you know.

People always say that I'm a fool

-Is something wrong? -No, no, it's perfect. You're perfect.

I can't stand what I've done to you.

-I've ruined your life. -My life is fine.

Mine too.

You're self-centered and shallow.

And it's all because of me.

And you'll keep getting more self-centered and more shallow unless you stop right now.

-I'm not stopping. -Me neither.

You need to stop. I can't let you become another me.

That's what this is? You're jealous.

I'm a better you than you were, and you can't stand it.

-Huh? -Not you.

You thought, "Let me work my magic on the ugly duckling and make her presentable."

But I've surpassed you. I'm better, hotter, smarter. Alive.

You know...

Lise...

You're acting kind of crazy.

It's hot.

Yeah.

AMBER: This is important.

If you become prom queen, it will ruin you.

-I need to be crazy for one more second. -Okay.

I'm going to become prom queen, and you're gonna go to heaven.

-It's a win-win. Now get out of here. -That's it.

[GASPING]

Okay. This is not hot anymore.

[GASPS]

Don't worry about Lisa. I mean... I'm fine.

Nick, honey, we can't have sex tonight.

Why don't you just go home?

Whoa. Okay. Um...

-But can we do it tomorrow night? -Sure. Whatever.

Right after prom. Just go home.

Okay.

But I'll be warming up.

-Mm. -Okay.

I'm so sorry I did this to you, Lisa.

-Where are we? -No place.

And too far out of town to get back for the prom.

What? Why?

-I'm doing this for you, Lisa. -You're doing this for you too.

Don't you want to go to heaven?

Not that much.

No. No. No. Don't leave me here.

She's not stopping me. I'm getting to that prom.

I have lots of friends. I'm popular. All I have to do is call one, and they'll be crawling all over each other to come rescue me.


Does that phone work?

[COUGHS]

MAN: It does if you got change.

Nick, it's Lisa.

-Hey, crazy lady. -Hi, sweetie.

No time to explain, but I need you to drive to Oak Springs, Highway 7 and pick me up.

-I'm surrounded by dead things. -Oak springs. Damn, that's a long way.

I know. And it's getting late, so you have to start now.

Yeah, babe, jeez.

If only I could.

-But I don't want to die. -Die?

I just entered the Nova Star, and if you quit before you make overlord, they cut your head and have to start again.

-What the hell are you talking about? -The Nova Star. Babe, this is big.

-We have to be at prom in six hours. -Okay, can we just meet there?

You know what? Never mind.

We're still having sex after, right?

Of course.

No. No, my head! Ah...

Oh, thank God. Paisley, it's Lisa.

I need you to come and get me in Oak Springs.

You're getting your hair colored.

Of course. Curls before girls.

Who doesn't live by that? No, I'll just call Dakota.

They're with you. No, of course her curls are important too.

Far more important than me being stranded in the middle of nowhere.

Hi. It's Lisa Sommers.

Emily. It's Lisa Sommers.

Thank you for that invite to go shopping and grab a latte.

But if you want to bond, don't you think spending four or five hours in a car-- Hello?

Hola, Isabelle.

Really?

Doesn't word travel fast?

Yeah, it's very funny. Ha, ha.

Listen, I don't suppose you'd be up for--

Please stop laughing.

You're so damn slow.

Look, Tarantino, we're a little shorthanded today.

Give me a second.

[PHONE MOOING]

No personal phone calls.

Bite me.

Hello?

Oh, thank God. Lisa?

Okay, calm down. It's okay.

We'll be there.

Thank you guys so much for coming to get me.

I thought I was popular, but nobody would come.

They were all getting their hair done.

I can't believe how stupid I was. I can't believe the way I treated you.

I'm so sorry.

-Especially you, Raj. -You should be.

He got suspended, and has to perform community service fixing Carlita's yard.

You're worse than Amber.

You went from zero to Satan in two days.

That's what I've been telling you. She was possessed.

Oh, right. The great ghost bimbo from beyond.

I wasn't possessed. This was all me.

See? No ghost.

No, there is a ghost.

Or there was. Oh, my God. Amber. I've got to save her.

You're about a week late, remember? "Give me that crown." Zzt. "Aah!"

Colin, I need you to get me to the prom right now.

Come on!

AMBER: Hello?

Hello?

Mr. Purgatory Man?

Miss Pollock.

The prom isn't till this evening. We can't send you upstairs until it's official.

I'm not gonna be going upstairs.

Really? I was getting such positive reports.

It didn't work out. I failed.

So send me, I guess... Down?

Are you sure about this? I think you could pull this off.

I'm sure.

Okey-dokey.

Your ride is here.

I thought all the fun people were going to hell.

A knife fight? Two dead?

That's kindergarten stuff.

I sold high-risk mortgages to homeless people, only so I could repo their new abodes and make them homeless again. Heh.

What did you do, blondie?

I was... mean to everyone.

Ah. Rookie.

[ALARM BUZZING]

[ENGINE REVVING]

Exquisite. Fabulous.

No drinking. Arrive alive.

Miss Sommers. What happened to your shoes?

Oh, uh...

-Nothing. It's a thing I'm trying. -You're cutting it close.

-They're about to start voting. Check in. -Thank God. Wait, I need to talk to you.

Raj is innocent. I sent out the e-mails about Carlita's party.

-Okay, bye. -Whoa, whoa, whoa, little missy.

If that's the case, you're suspended immediately, -and ineligible for prom queen. -No, you have to let me run.

Please, it's so important.

Hey, hey, hey.

No underwear showing.

Where'd she--?

BOY: What's up? -Did you guys get dressed in the dark?

Whatever happened to tuxedos?

ANNOUNCER [OVER SPEAKER]: Attention, life losers.

Please keep your hands and feet inside the shuttle at all times.

In a moment, we'll be entering the outer reaches of hell.

As the temperature rises, please refrain from screaming and pleading.

Trust us, we've heard it all.

[JOE JONAS' "JUST IN LOVE" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Can I get your attention? Can I get your attention real quick?

[MUSIC STOPS]

Hello.

All right.

Let me just remind everyone that Lisa Sommers is no longer eligible as a candidate.

Well, that leaves...

Well, just Carlita Cache.

All right, well, good luck. Everybody.

I hate my life.

[CLUB MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

God, Carlita, everyone is voting for you.

They sure are.

Thanks, girls. Would you get me some punch?

-Yes. -No, me.

Everybody, could I--? Excuse me, everybody? Can I--?

Whew. Can I get your attention, please?

[MUSIC STOPS]

Please let me do this.

-What is she doing? -She said she had an idea.

Something that's going to fix everything.

[CLEARS THROAT]

First of all...

I was the one who sabotaged Carlita's party.

-I knew it. -Totally knew it.

I was the one who sent those e-mails, not my good friend Raj.

I was trying to take Carlita down.

You see, I was so tired of not being seen, that when I got the chance, I was willing to do anything to be noticed, to feel special.

I thought being popular would make everything better, but it didn't.

You know what else I found out?

Being popular doesn't mean everybody likes you.

This is dangerous.

She's tampering with the fundamental dynamics of the high school universe.

Be honest.

How many of you have ever felt the way I did?

How many walk into this school every day and wonder if anyone really cares?

How many have worried about whether your clothes are cool, or if you're listening to the right music?

How many have been hurt when you find out about a party you were never invited to?

How many of you have done something stupid and insensitive just to be part of the cool crowd?

[ALL CHATTERING]

What about this?

What if the cool crowd was all of us?

ALL: Yeah.

What if going to school wasn't a competition?

Yeah.

What if we all just said, "screw this."

[ALL CHEER]

Screw having a contest that draws attention to someone who doesn't need it.

Screw the idea that you can't look around at everybody in this room and believe that you couldn't be friends with any of them.

This year, let's make tonight mean something.

ALL: Yeah.

Let's shower attention on somebody who's a good person, who's a real friend, who believes the best of everybody.

Yeah.

Let's vote for Raj Kurkuri.

BOY 1: Who? BOY 2: Raj.

GIRL 1: Raj? GIRL 2: Who?

"Who?" Right. Exactly my point.

After tonight, let's make sure we never ask that again.

GIRL 3: Who is it? GIRL 4: Sure.

Raj. Raj.

ALL: Raj. Raj.

Raj. Raj. Raj.

You know what? Forget about counting ballots.

Let's vote right now. Everybody who's for Raj, raise your hand.

[ALL CHEERING]

[PITBULL'S "GIVE ME EVERYTHING" [PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]


ANNOUNCER [OVER SPEAKER]: The white-hot plasma outside the window indicates we are nearing our final destination.

So please fasten your seat belts.

Just joking. You're already dead.

In order to make your arrival even more unpleasant, the man downstairs would like you to please deposit your teeth and hair into the small bin provided at the exit.

Then please move on to the next line, where a hot metal tube will drop you into an endless lake of molten lava.

[BUS ACCELERATES]

Amber, dear. The oddest thing just happened.

The least popular person in your high school was just elected prom king.

King?

What can I say? It's a modern world. You know what this means?

-Heaven? -Eventually.

But right now, scads and scads more paperwork.

So you're coming with me.

And to the rest of you? Bye-bye.

[ALL SCREAMING]

-Hey. -Hey.

-Just you in there? -Just me.

COLIN: Hey, this is great and all, but we've got a lot of work to do on the movie, starting tonight.

Or tomorrow. Tomorrow's good.

Give me a sec.

The sweet dweeb got the crown. Not bad.

I like your gown.

AMBER: They told me it comes with wings.

But I'm not ready to accessorize.

[CHRISTINA PERI'S "ARMS" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

So...

So...

Hey, give me a minute, would you?

Thank you.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Listen. I think you're a great person, and I want you to have a great life.

And I was telling you the truth. A little confidence doesn't hurt.

Now, don't become an Amber, but, you know...

-Somewhere in the middle. -Yeah.

Hey, you're gonna be a huge hit in college.

I know it.

Actually, I peeked.

I'd hug you, but I'd go right through. Oh!

Thank you... for her.

Oh, my God. Go on, turn around. Slowly.

Zac Efron mall boy, he found you.

Oh, my God. What do I do?

You know what to do.

I do.

Now go.

I'll be looking over you.

I have been to seven proms tonight looking for you.

Man, you are... so much hotter than what I remember.

Oh, I'm sorry. Um, I don't want to scare you again.

That scared girl is... gone.

-Since you came all this way, wanna dance? -Oh, God, yes.

So, um, should I say anything about the really hot prom outfit you've got on, -or do I just continue to ignore it? -Ignore it.

-You got it. DJ: All right, Ashley High.

Let's kick it up.

[BRITNEY SPEARS' "TILL THE WORLD ENDS" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

NARRATOR: And so for one brief, shining moment, the high school universe was upended, and the least of them became the best of them.

And for the rest of the evening, the walls came down.

This is wrong.

This mixing... It's completely wrong.

It's against nature. Stop playing now.

Ugh! I'm shutting this whole thing down.

[MUSIC STOPS AND STUDENTS SCREAM]

NARRATOR: Oh, lucky me.

Here we go again.