Teen Titans Go! S1E11 Script

Hey Pizza! (2013)

(OPENING THEME PLAYING)


(PANTING)

(WHINING) It's so hot...


(SCREAMING)

(PANTING) Cyborg, if you don't fix that thermostat, I'm gonna come over there, dude.

Or just lie here.

(SIGHING)

I'm working on it.

Red wire. Blue wire.

Purple wire?

Oh, come on.

Azrath, metrione, zanthos!

(SIGHS)

Great job getting that working again, Cyborg.

(GROANS)

I have an exciting announcement, Titans!

We will be funding a new community improvement project.

We should totally build a community pool.

I am a great doggy paddler.

And you know what pools mean, pool parties.

A pool is nice, but we really need to help out an underserved population.

Offspring of inter-dimensional demons?

-Half robots?

-Gophers?

We're building a new senior citizen center.

ALL: A senior citizen center?

(SNORING)

(FAINT FANFARE)

(SNORING CONTINUES)

Uh, you sure you don't want to reconsider the pool idea?

It's already settled.

We're helping the seniors.

Is not the wave of heat glorious?

I have purchased an Earth bikini on the line.

Now, I just need a place to use it.

We're building a pool.

(GASPING) Joy!

Ah! We must commence with the plans.

So Ray-Ray, you gonna buy a new bathing suit, too?

This is my bathing suit.

Hot.

MALE ANNOUNCER ON TV:

Zippy's Pizza, cheesy goodness delivered to you in 30 minutes or it's free.

Hey, pizza.

Hey... pizza!

(GROWLING)

Oh, man.

I don't want to pay for no pizza.

Maybe we don't need any money.

-(DIALING)

-Wait, what are you...

I'll have one half vegan. half super meaty pizza, please.

Thanks very much.

Take a look at this.

BEAST BOY: If he starts at the shop here on main street...

CYBORG: Going the speed limit through the city, even with calculated shortcuts...

(BEEPING)

There's no way that fool could get here in under 30 minutes.

There's no way that fool could get here in under

30 minutes.

BOTH: There's no way that fool could get here in under 30 minutes.

-Yeah, boy!

-(BOTH LAUGHING)

That's what's up.

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

Hey, pizza.

Oh, man...

(BEEPS)

(SNIFFS)

-(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

-No tip!

Oh, old people.

What can I do for you?

We're here to see the nice young man who's building the senior center.

Oh, um, yeah.

Yo, Robin! It's for you.

Robin, thank you so much for helping with our senior center.

Uh, yeah, see about that...

(MUFFLED)

No need to tell us about the plans.

We trust you.

Well, you're such a good boy.

No, no, no, no. I'm not.

I'm a terrible boy.

I almost made the worst decision of my life.

-Just because I wanted...

-Robin.

I need your opinion.

This is a photograph of the bikini I purchased.

Is this pleasing to you?

Yup.

This pool is gonna be awesome!

There is no way that guy can deliver it in time again.

(CHUCKLING)

Dude!

Did you just hack into the traffic light?

Mark my words, bro, that pizza jockey will not be here in under 30 minutes.

(SCREAMS) Will not!

Game on!

Can you raise that draw bridge?

(KEYPAD CLICKING)

(BELL RINGING)

(LAUGHING)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

-Hey, pizza.

-Man...

Ready to give up?

We're talking free pizza here, dude.

What do you think?

(STAMMERS) Oh, hi. Hey, there.

All of us seniors knitted you a new suit.

Aw, it's a...

-Great!

-Oh, good!

Then it was worth every excruciatingly painful moment it took our arthritic hands to make.

Excruciatingly painful...

-Yeah, listen, I, uh...

-Robin, this senior center has given us all something besides death to look forward to.

Ah, come on, Robin.

What is wrong with me?

How is there even a question about what I'm going to build?

Now, I remember.

According to my research on pools, proper usage of the lotion that screens out the sun is vital.

Will you help me with the application?

Old people like pools, right?

Will you help me with the application?

(SHUDDERS)

-Yes, we'd like another pizza.

-(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

I know we just had two delivered.

Of course, we can pay for it.

But we won't have to because there's no way you're delivering it in under 30 minutes!

Okay, all I have to do is turn on the security dome around the house and the pizza guy can't get anywhere near the tower.

-(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

-Hey, pizza.

(BOTH YELLING)

How is he doing this?

This is unnatural.

This means war.

Pizza war.

Hey, pizza!

(INAUDIBLE)

(TIRE SCREECHES)

Hey, pizza! Hey, pizza!

Hey, pizza! Hey, pizza!

Hey, pizza!

Hey, pizza!

Can I pay with a pony ride?

That was the last straw.

There is one last option, bro.

You mean the button?

-Yeah.

-Let's hit it!

I'm gonna do it.

I'm hitting the button.

(WHIRRING NOISE)

Booyah! We did it!

(SIREN WAILING)

BEAST BOY: What did we do?

-We're going to jail. -Quick, find your passport.

This was your idea.

It was your idea, dude.

I specifically remember, you said you wanted a pizza.

I said, "We don't have any money, Beast Boy."

Ahh! I've gotta go hide some stuff in my room!

-What?

-(SCREAMS) Go, run! Run!

-(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

-Hey, pizza!

-Phew.

-(SIGHS)

Pool. Senior center.

Pool. Senior center.

Pool. Senior center.

(SCREAMING)

Okay, I've gotta be rational about this.

What are the pros of building the senior center?

The center has lots of pros.

Now, what are the pros of a pool?

I know what I must do.

-Conga!

-(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

It's beautiful!

I just knew you would come through.

Guess we got a little carried away with the pizza thing.

You could say that, dude.

But you know, you live and you learn.

-(BELL RINGING)

-MAN: Hey, pizza.

Now, it took you 31 minutes to deliver that pizza.

Means I don't have to pay.

Pizza guy was late?

Old guy got free pizza?

(SCREAMING) Oh, come on!

BOTH: Ah!

Pizza guy!

(SHRIEKING)

Sorry about the swimming pool, Star.

I am happy the citizens of seniors have a new place for gathering.

And while I understand this is not the ideal setting, I would still like to model the bikini for you.

(MUMBLING)

Ready?

(GAGS)