Teen Titans Go! S1E17 Script

Parasite (2013)

(OPENING THEME PLAYING)


(GROANS)

Excellent!

(GASPS) Delightful!

(GROWLING)

(SNARLS)

Glorious!

(SHRIEKING)

Ow! Hmm...

How many times do I have to tell you two?

You gotta put the games away when you're done!

Now, let's put them in their proper cases!

Titans, go!

-(ELEVATOR DINGS)

-Greetings, friends!

-Hey.

-What up?

Hey, Starfire, welcome home!

What's in the basket?

Items I have been gathering for a special Tamaranean tradition that I hope you will all participate in.

It is very similar to your Thanksgiving.

Delicious food and special friends!

Oh, please tell me you will join me?

-ALL: Um...

-Well...

I'll eat whatever you make!

Oh, I have the happiness!

It means so much to me that you will all join in my people's ancient tradition.

Guess I'll fire up the grill.

What's on the menu?

Only the finest space cuisine.

Glurk scales.

Fried fish legs.

(GASPS) And my favorite...

Mouth worms.

You know what?

I totally forgot.

It's my baby cousin's birthday today!

Mine too!

Oh, yeah?

Does she live downtown, near the movie theater?

Uh, she does indeed.

-Carpool!

-Carpool!

-(GROANS)

-(POWERS UP)

(CRASHES)

Raven, would you care for a mouth worm?

Uh... No.

I'll be in my room trying to forget I ever saw that.

I'll try one, Star!

Oh, joy!

Now, these are best when eaten raw.

(GULPS)

So, uh...

-I just, uh, eat the whole thing, huh?

-Yes!

So, like the whole thing?

In my mouth?

Yes, the whole thing!

Heh. Okay. Uh...

Down the hatch!

Ahhh!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

-(EXCLAIMS)

-(COUGHS)

Robin?

Oh, Silkie.

At least you are always here for me.

Mouth worm?

(EXCLAIMS)

Is there no one with whom to share my traditions?

(SIGHS)

-(MOUTH WORM SCREAMS)

-(GULPS)

(WHIRRING)

What's that?

You would love to be a part of Feast Day?

Oh, what wonderful news!

You really think I could pull off skinny jeans?

I mean, I know I can get 'em on, but could I pull 'em off?

Greetings, Titans!

(ALL SCREAMING)

Uh, you know there's something going on in your stomach region there.

Oh! This is nothing!

It's just Parry.

(GURGLING)

-Parry?

-Yes!

My adorable little space parasite!

He appeared on my belly last night and now wants to join me for the Feast Day dinner!

It just moved! I saw it move!

Everyone stand back!

This is a level nine biohazard.

I assure you, Parry is perfectly harmless!

If we don't act now, Starfire, this whole thing is going to spiral out of control, and we'll end up on the other side of the galaxy fighting a giant spider alien!

Or something.

(WHIRRING)

Parry says you are being quite rude, Robin.

Uh, don't think Parry can say anything...

We are communicating through my brain.

Uh, Star? This is not normal.

Not normal.

It seems that is something I am often accused of being by my fellow Titans.

She is out of her mind, Silkie!

(SING-SONG) Out of her mind!

I mean, she's talking to a parasite. A parasite!

(WHISTLES) Crazy!

Oh, come on!

Don't tell me you buy her story?

Here.

Let me show you something.

(GASPS)

No one must know about that.

According to my research, Parry has no ability to communicate with its host and is most definitely not friendly.

I think Star was so sad no one wanted to celebrate Feast Day that she created a personality for this disgusting mass as a coping mechanism.

We better tell the others.

Guys! Guys! We have to talk.

-It's about...

-Hey! Hey! (BABBLES)

Hold up, Robin.

Parry was just finishing up a story.

Go on, Parry.

(WHIRRING)

(CHUCKLES) What does throb-ooze-puss-glow-glow mean, Star?

Hopefully I can relay it correctly.

And then she was all like, "I have no idea where the eggs are!"

(ALL LAUGHING)

Oh! Eggs! Love it.

Uh, did I miss something or did you all just become best buds with an open sore?

As you can see, Robin, you have misjudged Parry.

Yeah, Robin, he's great.

Even Raven likes him!

Whatever, he's fine.

(WHIRRING)

I am sorry, Parry.

But I already asked them and they declined.

Wait! What'd he say?

What'd he say?

He asked if you all would join us for Feast Day.

-I told him...

-ALL: I'm in.

What about you, Robin?

Oh, I'll be there.

To keep an eye on that filthy parasite.

Wonderful!

Now, I promised to show Parry around the city.

We will be back in time for tonight's feast!

I don't like this, Titans.

I better follow them to make sure nothing happens.

Oh, I wish my tapeworm was more like Parry.

I followed them all day, just waiting for that thing to mutate into the giant spider we'll end up fighting on the other side of the galaxy, but no dice.

He's a more fiendish opponent than I thought.

Or, Parry's just a friendly parasite.

And you're a creepy guy in the bushes with a camera.

Hmm. Creepy camera guy.

No!

I am certain this will be the best Feast Day ever!

-(WHIRRING)

-Parry would like to make a toast.

(WHIRRING)

He says he would like to thank you for welcoming him into your home.

Uh, I'd like to make a toast, too.

We've gotta separate that thing from you before it kills you!

Take it easy!

Parry doesn't exist!

Don't you see?

He's a figment of Starfire's imagination.

It has got to go!

He is never leaving, Robin.

We are the best friends.

Well, if parasites are so great, then everyone should have one!

Good thing I brought some for the occasion.

(SQUISHING)

Uh, what are you doing?

Apparently, I'm making friends.

(SHUDDERS) This is so great.

Yeah! (GRUNTS)

I love sharing my nutrients.

Ah, I love how weak they make me feel.

Ugh! Why didn't I get a parasite years ago?

Stop it! Just stop!

Parry is the only thing that makes me feel normal!

Nice going, dude.

(GASPING)

Someone call a doctor.

Don't worry, Star.

This won't hurt a bit.

(MACHINE WHIRRING)

(GASPS) Robin!

What are you doing to Parry?

It's for your own good.

(GASPS)

-Hey, Robin!

-You can talk!

Yep! I communicate through brainwaves, just like Starfire said.

Who feels like a jerk now?

Guess I should have made an effort to understand you.

It's not me you need to do a better job of understanding.

Oh, Starfire!

Wow, you really are the greatest!

Here, to show you there's no hard feelings I made you a cape!

But we're inside my brain.

It's a cape for your brain, dum-dum!

Oh. Cool.

You talked to him?

Sorry, Starfire.

Your traditions may be strange, but... sometimes I guess I'm not the normal one.

More than sometimes, Robin.

-(WHIRRING)

-What's wrong, Parry?

Do you have to leave?

(WHIRRING)

Goodbye, Parry!

(SOBBING) Don't leave, man!

I'm gonna miss you so much!

This is awkward...

I'll always cherish my brain cape!

(SOBBING CONTINUES)

I love you.

(GROWLING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Ha! Yes! What did I say?

I knew it! I knew it!

I knew it all along!

You fools just wouldn't listen, I was right and you were wrong!