Teen Titans Go! S1E2 Script

Pie Bros (2013)

[instrumental music]

What is that?

A birthday gift for Cyborg.

'I'm drawing him as a dog, and me as a robot.'

Okay, and you think he's gonna like it?

As his best friend in the whole world I always know exactly what he wants.

Hey, Beast bud, you hungry?

Watch this.

You know, I kinda feel like having..

Pie, perhaps?

How'd you know?

It's my job to know.

And 'cause I love pie, too!

? When I say I want you say pie ?

? I want

? Pie ?

? I want

? Pie ?

? When I say yummy you say pie ?

? Yummy

? Pie ?

? Yummy

? Pie ?

? Apple rhubarb, peach or pear ?

? Any kind we don't care ?

? I love pie ?

? Yeah I love pie ?

? Oh we love love love love love pie ??

[both chuckles]

Yeah, dude. Warm pie.

I need a slice.

Yup, he is gonna love my gift.

[instrumental music]

[humming]

Time to get our pie on.

You guys really like pie.

Who doesn't?

Ooh, what you got there?

[slurps]

Mmm.

Oh, wow, blueberry.

[slurping]

Uh, gross.

Relax, I just washed my hands.

And I've lost my appetite.

The Mother Mae-Eye makes the best pies in all of Jump City.

[instrumental music]

I wonder what her secret is.

I hear she bakes people into her pies.

[dramatic music]

[all laughing]

Someone's been reading too many fairy tales.

No, I suspect the secret ingredient is love.

Time we talked about something really important.

This guy's birthday!

Oh, yes, I have decided to plan Cyborg's day of birth festivities myself.

No offense, Starfire, but maybe someone else should plan this party.

Oh, please allow me.

I promise I will learn all of the proper Earth customs.

Well, the party can be lame.

As long as the presents aren't.

And you best believe I know exactly what my best friend wants.

I bet it's not that new video game that a certain cybernetic organism has been dropping hints about?

Video game?

Ah, it's totally the new game.

The really expensive one.

The one you should know I can never afford.

Yup, that's what I got you.

And that's why you're my best friend.

[instrumental music]

[belching]

[belching]

[whimpering]

And that's why you're my best friend.

But I can't afford the game.

Then get a job, you bum.

I will get a job.

For you, Cyborg window hallucination.

Oh, wow. Bubbles.

[giggles]

[explosion]

And that, ladies and gentlemen of the jury is why he is guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt.

[whispering]

What? I'm supposed to be defending him?

[chuckling nervously]

'Oh.'

Oh, gross!

Gross, gross, gross!

What's that squiggly thing?

You mean that's what's inside of people?

[squeals]

(Starfire)

'After much research'

I have decided to hold the festivities for Cyborg here.

That's actually a good choice.

Ooh! I also made these for the party.

[cat meowing]

(Robin)

'Ah, balloon animals.'

Correct, and there will be a game called

"Pin the tail on the donkey."

Do you think this spike will be sufficient for tail-pinning?

Uh, yeah.

That's about right.

[braying]

Hey, you okay, Beast Boy?

Oh, man.

It's just..

I can't afford the present that Cyborg really wants.

Friends don't care about how much money you spend.

Just that you put some thought into it.

[door opens]

What up, Titans?

Which reminds me.

Hey, Cyborg, I thought I'd give you your birthday gift a little early.

Your gift to me is a half-drunk soda?

What? Not expensive enough for you, fancy pants?

You know, I'd like to think it's the thought that counts.

We cheapos need to stick together.

[Mother Mae-Eye humming]

[instrumental music]

[vomiting]

[door opens]

[laughing]

Nice hat.

Whew. Comedy gold.

Just trying to make a few extra bucks for something important.

Whatever they're paying you, it's not enough.

[laughing]

[cackling]

Oh! Oh, my goodness!

Whoo!

[rattling]

[laughing]

Oh, my!

Oh my goodness.

Anyways, I'm just making sure my best friend is gonna be at my party.

Not dressed like that, of course.

About that, uh..

I have to work Friday.

What?!

It's my birthday.

If I don't work, I can't..

I mean, you won't have..

Look, I just..

I can't be there.

You are making less sense than usual.

What I'm trying to say is that I'll be there, but..

...I'll be working.

Oh, I see.

So basically, making a few extra bucks is more important than your pal.

Well, do not take my quivering lip as a sign of profound disappointment.

[door closes]

[instrumental music]

[horn blowing]

[dog barking]

Duck, duck, goose!

[screaming]

Stop!

Did I get that right?

That's how I played.

[clinking]

I just wanted to thank you all for coming.

And you know, taking time off from your jobs.

[glass shatters]

Oops.

Speaking of jobs.

Guess someone is gonna have to pick that up.

Man! I am so clumsy today.

Oh, cleaning crew!

I guess my so-called best friend will have to come over and..

How dumb can you be?!

I'm only working here so I can buy you an expensive present!

[splats]

I never told you to get a stupid job!

Well, my hallucination of you in the store window did.

And the real you made fun of my pie suit.

[gun cocks]

[firing pies]

[roaring]

[roaring]

[splattering]

Think we should stop them?

Nah.

This is the first time I've ever actually enjoyed a birthday party.

Oh, wonderful!

Then the celebration is a great success.

[humming]

Uh. I don't think we need any more pies, granny.

[eerie music]

[Mother Mae-Eye humming]

[whirring]

[cackling]

Since you love gifts so much here is what I was gonna give you when I still liked you!

'This is what you got me?'

I love it! It's well drawn and thoughtful!

Thank you!

I knew you would like it!

[slurping]

Face pie.

Ah, the best kind.

Huh, pie bro.

? When I say I want you say pie ?

? I want

? Pie ?

? I want

? Pie ?

? When I say yummy you say pie ?

? Yummy ?

? Pie ?

? Yummy ?

? Pie ?

? Apple rhubarb peach or pear ?

? Any kind we don't care ?

? I love pie ?

? Yeah I love pie ?

? Oh we love love love love love pie ??

[laughing]

Oh, man, my pie bro.

Oh, why were we ever fighting?

I love pie.

I love you and pie.

Hey, looks like everyone went home.

Just means more pie for us.

[whistles]

[humming]

Something tells me I just figured out what Mother Mae-Eye's secret ingredient is.

Uh-huh. Mmm.

Love.

[choking]

Oh, mmm, yup.

The secret ingredient is definitely love.

[gorging]

Seriously?

What? What?

[theme music]