Teen Titans Go! S1E31 Script

Staring at the Future (2013)

Easy, Robin, easy.

Get this serum right and you'll finally be able to grow that mustache.

(GIRLS SCREAMING)

(CRASH)

(RATTLING)

(BELLOWING)

Ha!

Yee-haw!

(CYBORG WHOOPING)

Whoa! What are you doing?

Ahhh!

(BOTH WHOOPING)

BEAST BOY: Hold on, boy!

Hi. (SCREAMS)

(BELLOWS)

(GRUNTING)

Ow! (GROANS)

(BELLOWS)

(LAUGHS)

Oh, man!

I believe I just set the new indoor rodeo record!

(STARFIRE CLEARS THROAT)

BOTH: What?

I hope you intend to eliminate this mess.

The maid can take care of it.

We don't have a maid.

And that is our problem, how?

Come on, we were just goofing off.

Life's not just about goofing off.

It's also about responsibilities.

Ugh!

Ugh!

(TEETH RATTLING)

What?

What's wrong?

That word.

Responsibility?

BOTH: Ahhh!

Seriously, you guys need to start thinking about the future.

We have, and it's gonna be even better than the present, 'cause things always improve.

In the future, they're gonna finally eradicate that thing you keep talking about.

Responsibility?

ALL: (ECHOING)

Responsibility.

Make them stop saying it.

Let's get out of here, bro!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(THUD)

Nothing like a little pizza to make us forget our friends' thoughtful advice.

It helps, but I think I'm gonna need a movie, too.

(BOTH GASP)

Mine!

Gimme!

Drop it!

Let go!

That floor pizza is mine!

I saw it first!

Me too, and I'm still looking at it.

So am I!

Staring contest.

Last one to look away from the slice gets it.

You're on!

(CLOCK TICKING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(SQUEAKING)

(CHUCKLES)

You blinked, I win.

Ugh!

This pizza tastes like it's 30 years old!

Because we've been here for... 30 years?

High-five for the longest staring contest ever.

We got to tell the others.

If they're not dead.

Robin! Raven! Starfire!

Where is everybody?

Uh, excuse me, ma'am.

Oh, hi, guys.

(COOING)

Long time no see.

(BABY CRYING)

BOTH: Ahhh!

Robin?

CYBORG: What is that thing?

It's not a thing.

It's my baby.

Nobody cares about that baby!

We're talking about your mullet, dude.

Oh, just a new look.

And I go by the name Nightwing now.

All part of growing up.

So you and Starfire finally tied the knot, huh?

No, me and Batgirl.

Hi, guys.

What happened to you, man?

You used to be so much cooler!

Relatively speaking.

We got to get you out of here.

Let's go to a movie.

I can't.

It's my night to fix dinner.

Says who?

It's just one of my responsibilities.

Make it stop, Cyborg!

This is a nightmare!

Where are the others?

Where's Starfire?

Oh, she moved back home.

Hey, Starfire!

(GROWLING)

Ahh!

(GRUNTING)

Hey, Starfire, what's up with those guys?

What is up, is that I am now Queen of Tamaran, and they work for me.

Great! So come to the movies with us.

You got movies on this planet, right?

We have gladiators battling three-headed carnian dragons with laser eyes.

That could be fun.

Unfortunately, I cannot join you.

But you're the Queen, come on.

And with that honor comes responsibilities.

(BOTH SCREAM)

Not again!

Ah, the humanity!

Maybe Raven hasn't changed.

Where is she?

(WHISTLES) This is the nicest other dimensional plane I have ever seen.

Uh, it's okay.

Raven!

Raven!

Whoa!

BEAST BOY:

What happened to you?

Well, I defeated my father in the ultimate battle of good versus evil.

Afterwards, I was reborn as pure energy, an all-powerful force of good.

Now I pretty much keep the whole universe in balance.

Hang on a sec.

Azarath Metrion Zinthos!

Just saved a planet.

Good job.

So, you're like a celestial goddess or something?

It's a living.

What are you guys doing up here, anyway?

You're not dead, are you?

Nah. Just looking for someone to go to the movies with us.

Sorry! Balancing all the good and evil throughout the galaxies is a full-time job, and a big respons--

Don't you say that word!

Don't you say that word!

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!

(BOTH SCREAM)

Dude, the future stinks.

All of our friends are stuck in dead-end jobs.

Husband, bleh!

Queen, what-evs!

Goddess of the universe, pssh!

I cannot live in a world like this.

And they shouldn't have to either.

We've got to save them from themselves.

But how?

Simple.

CYBORG: All we have to do is invent a time machine, go back 30 years and change one little thing.

Then we come back to the future, and everything will be different!

So obvious. Let's do it.

(DRILLING NOISES)

You guys want leftovers?

No!

It's pasta.

No!

Do you mind keeping it down?

The kids are trying to sleep.

When we're done, you won't have to worry about your kids anymore.

Huh?

Once we get our time machine finished, we're going to go back and fix the future so you guys don't end up like this.

You're welcome, by the way.

Wait a minute. I like my life.

I love my family.

Dude, your family's horrible!

Yes, Robin?

They're trying to change history.

Don't do this.

I command you.

Hey! You're not the boss of me.

Technically I am.

Immortal goddess, remember?

Oh, yeah.

Well, not for long, you're not.

All done. Let's go, bro.

(BOTH GRUNT)

You guys are going nowhere.

Oh, yeah?

(BELLOWS)

You forgot, you're talking to an indoor rodeo champion!

(BELLOWS)

Hee-haw!

(CYBORG WHOOPS)

(THUD)

(RAVEN GRUNTING)

Ow! Whoa!

CYBORG: Whoo!

Yeah, baby!

Ahh!

Shh!

The kids.

Sorry, hun.

So far, so good.

What do we do now?

We change one little thing.

We share the last slice.

BEAST BOY: Yes!

You think this is a big enough change to alter the future?

Guess we'll have to wait

30 years to find out.

You know the best part of living in a society that's broken down and there's nothing left but chaos?

No responsibilities?

You know it!

(EXPLOSION)

The robot overlords have taken over the entire city.

How did things get to this?

I think it had something to do with sharing a slice of pizza.

You think this is bad?

It could have been a lot worse, man.

You almost had a baby!

And a mullet!

(EXPLOSION)

Run!

Yep! This is a future I can live with.

(CLOSING THEME PLAYING)