Teen Titans Go! S1E38 Script

Breakfast Cheese (2014)

The H.I.V.E. is at it again.

Look at them loitering so hard.

Disgusting.

Titans, go!

(GASPS)

Such disrespect of signage is unacceptable.

ROBIN: Break the law... and I break your face, Gizmo!

(GRUNTING AGGRESSIVELY)

Um, Robin, his face appears to be quite broken.

-(THUD)

-(GASPS)

Hanging out in front of stores makes me sick.

(LOUD CRUNCH)

I am starting to feel the sick, too.

BEAST BOY:

What's wrong, fellas?

Why you keep laying down?

Yeah, we thought you love standing so much.

Please, Titans!

Is this not excessive?

ROBIN: (GRUNTING)

We're just trying to teach them a lesson.

It's our job as heroes!

But we are always teaching the lesson.

And they are never the learning.

Hmm. Mayhaps it's because we haven't used missiles?

(CAR ALARM BLARING)

Oh, man! That felt good.

Yeah, you remember when you were all, "Boom, boom, boom!"

And they were all, "Aah!"

Then I was all...

(FIGHT SHOUTS)

And they were all, "No!

Please stop, please, aah!"

-(LOUD EXPLOSION)

-(LAUGHING)

Hey, you with that staff, bro!

I know! I was like, "Hey, Gizmo!" Whack! Whack!

-Hi-ya! Spine crack!

-(CRUNCHING)

ROBIN: Soft tissue destruction! (GRUNTING)

Good times.

No! The times, they were not good!

You should be feeling pretty good, mama.

You were all, "Zoom, zoom, zoom" with the face lasers and they were all, "It burns! It burns!"

Please do not recreate the moments with the sound effects.

I do not wish for our aggression on the battlefield to carry over into our domestic behavior.

(SNEERING) Like that would ever happen!

-Now, who wants a slice?

-ALL: I do!

-(WHIRRING)

-(EVIL LAUGHTER)

(ALL LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(SNARLING)

(GRUNTING)

(CHOMPING) Mmm, you ordered this from the new place?

(ALL CHOMPING)

Perhaps we can try to solve our problems without the fighting?

-No way.

-Please?

Mmm, sorry.

There's nothing you can say to make us give up kicking butt for good.

(ALL AGREEING)

I was hoping I would not have to resort to this.

(SAD MUSIC)

The eyes! (GASPS)

Don't look at the eyes!

So, uh, pathetic.

(YELLING) I can feel my barbaric impulses draining right out of my body.

No way! I'll never give up punching things! Never!

-(GRUNTING)

-(YELLS)

Do not worry, friends.

I promise to help you walk the path of peace.

Never!

(VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING)

You're never gonna beat my high score, bro.

Oh, yeah? (GRUNTS)

Hey!

(TRIUMPHANT TONES)

-BEAST BOY:

Get off of me, fool!

(GASPS)

Friends, no!

The competitive game is making you aggressive.

Why not play this game instead?

BEAST BOY: Puppy Tummy Tickles?

-Ugh...

-Sounds lame.

-Super lame.

-So lame!

(GAME BEEPING)

Oh, what did you just do?

I scratched his tum-tum, bro.

Do it again, do it again, do it again.

(DOGS WOOFING)

-Look at that tail go!

-Oh, look at that little...

(LAUGHING)

Oh!

Friend Raven, you will never achieve inner peace through such acts of the aggression.

-Uh, what are you talking...

-That!

-My fingers?

-Your tips.

When you press your tips together like that, a million skin cells writhe in the agony.

-Come on!

-Just look.

-(SCREAMING)

-(WAILING)

(GROANING)

Now try again.

(CREAKING)

(LOUD EXPLOSION)

Whoa!

(CHEERING)

(WHISTLING)

Arachnid intruder.

(SWOOSHING)

-(THUD)

-(WHIMPERING)

Now, hold still, you little creep.

You are still resisting the way of peace, Robin.

Don't interfere, Star.

This is a dangerous spider.

It would smash you in a second if it could.

Smash! You!

Then perhaps he can learn through your example.

(SAD MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROANING) Fine!

I'll try it your way.

Oh, this is such a bad idea.

Oh! (CHUCKLES)

Hey there, little guy.

(CHOMPS)

(SCREAMING)

(WAILING) It bit me!

You must have provoked it somehow.

Argh! This is exactly what non-violence leads to!

I let my guard down and now I'm going to die from spider venom.

No, glorbarg, it is far too small to hurt you, Robin...

-(GASPS)

-What?

(SCREAMING)

Why didn't I crush that filthy insect when I had the chance?

(PANTING) Only a couple more seconds of life until the venom (GASPS) reaches my brain.

(CHEERFUL MUSIC)

Oh, I can taste compassion.

It's so warm.

I can smell brotherhood.

(SNIFFING)

(WHISPERING) Brotherhood.

Ah, yes.

The essence of the beautiful is unity and variety.

-(HUMMING)

-Glorious!

Let us enter a new era of Teen Titans super harmony!

Let us!

(GRUNTS)

(HAPPY MUSIC PLAYING)

Namaste, my sweet sister.

More green tea?

(SLURPING) Mmm.

It tastes like everyone in the world holding hands.

(ALARM BLARING)

The Titan alert.

Evidently, someone is in danger.

This is our chance to show how well the non-violence works.

Ah! Titans, go!

In peace.

(GRUNTS)

(WHIRRING)

Okay, Titans. Time to deal with the H.I.V.E. once and for all.

(SNARLING)

(GROWLING)

Prepare to deploy... forgiveness.

(SNARLING)

I forgive you for loitering here in such a fashion.

(DISTORTED) Go in peace.

(GRUNTS) Forgiveness is having no effect.

Counter attack with wisdom.

Wisdom? Okay.

If your heart is a volcano... Ow!

...how shall you expect flowers... (GRUNTING)

...to bloom?

I think we are starting... to get through to them.

(GASPING)

(SIGHS) Could I have been wrong?

Might fighting truly be the only path to peace?

I think we are going to have to resort to our weapons.

Oh, if we have no choice...

(SNIFFING)

-(CLAPPING)

-We've altered our weapons and powers in the name of peace.

That's right, Star.

And now it's time for a Cuddle Cannon.

-(RAPID SHOTS)

-(WOOFING)

I'm even softer than I look.

Here's a little gift from the rainbow dimension.

STARFIRE: Look, they have surrendered to the healing power of love.

Rest assured, Gizmo, your defeat is humanity's ultimate victory.

The journey to a world of the peace and harmony has begun.

? Peace and love Peace and love

? Everybody gets the hug

? Peace and love peace and love

? Everybody have the high-fives and cakes

? Peace and love peace and love

? I want the cheese for breakfast

? We want the cheese for breakfast ?

(END THEME PLAYING)