Teen Titans Go! S1E47 Script

Uncle Jokes (2014)

(OPENING THEME PLAYING)


Bet I could make you smile.

(LAUGHS) (COUGHS)

(CLEARS THROAT)

No, you cannot.

-Sure can.

-Nuh-uh.

-Sure can.

-No way.

-Sure. Can.

-Negative.

Pig Jig.

(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)

(WHIMPERS)

(LAUGHING)

Whew!

Oh, man. You got me.

Told ya.

My turn.

Bet I could make you smile.

(CHUCKLES)

(SIGHS)

Seriously doubt it, bro.

-Bet I can.

-Nope.

-Bet I can.

-Uh-uh.

-Bet I can.

-No way.

Robo Rag!

(RAGTIME MUSIC PLAYING)

? Robo Rag! ?

(LAUGHING)

Aw, man!

Told you I could do it.

So, now what?

BOTH: Bro Boogie!

(TRANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(RECORD SCRATCHING)

(MUSIC STOPS)

(SINGING) Oo, oo, oo.

(SINGING) Ah, ah, oh, oo.

What are you doing?

Look in my direction.

I shall give you the smiles too.

Meow, meow, meow.

Meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow.

Meow, meow, meow.

Meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow.

-Meow, meow, meow.

-Okay, stop.

It's not happening.

I hate being the only Titan who cannot do the joke.

Aw, don't feel bad, Star.

Robin's not funny either.

Hey! I'm funny.

Dude, no. You're not.

You tell uncle jokes.

Robin has never told a joke about his uncle.

(SCOFFS) Uncle jokes aren't about uncles.

They're just lame jokes that someone like an uncle would tell.

And they're never ever funny.

I don't tell uncle jokes.

Really?

How do you want your steak cooked?

On a stove.

Boom!

Man, I'm hungry.

Oh, nice to meet you Hungry.

I'm Robin.

Boom!

Hey Beast Boy, why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the 'p' is silent.

Boom!

Boom! Boom! Boom!

Please stop. I assure you I understand the concept now.

(CHUCKLES) The 'p' is silent.

I just got it.

Raven likes my jokes.

Dude, your jokes are so uncle-y, we ought to call you uncle.

Yeah, that's right, uncle.

BOTH: Uncle, uncle, uncle.

Blah!

(GROANS)

Your humor is quite masterful.

Perhaps if I joined your company, I could learn from you.

No way!

This here. This is a twosome.

Not one.

Not three.

Dos!

Two!

Got it?

Our broship is like a horst and graben structure.

Or a noble gas, whose outer atomic shell can neither take in or release anymore electrons.

So it is final? I cannot learn the jokes from you?

Under no circumstances, lady.

Never ever.

You have made yourselves clear.

I will remain unfunny.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait!

This is where you're supposed to say something like, "You'll make cookies."

And then we say, "Okay."

It's called a comedy turn.

Now let's try it again.

(BEEP)

(REWINDING)

You never gonna be part of our group, Starfire.

Never ever!

But what if I could make of the cookies?

(BOTH GASP)

BOTH: You're in!


(BELCHES)

(BELCHES)

(THUNDEROUS BELCH)

(BELCH)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

There are so many possibilities for my comedic catchphrase.

I was thinking something like, "Boo, ha, ha."

Uh, we're digging the transformation, Star, but you really shouldn't try to talk like us.

Yeah, "boo-yah" is my thing.

You gotta find your own catchphrase.

Well, how about this?

I am the cool Shamma Lamma Mu-mu.

(SNAPPING)

Needs work.

So, I was just wondering, what do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

Boom!

(CHUCKLING)

-Boom?

-Not bad, uncle.

Stop calling me that.

Stop not being funny.

(BELCHES)

-You guys are a terrible influence on her.

-So what?

So, we all have very specific roles in the Titans.

I'm the lone wolf leader.

You two are the good-natured slackers.

Raven's the sarcastic older sister.

And you're my unrequited love.

When you hang out with them, our whole universe is thrown out of balance.

You have to go back to normal.

You are absolutely right, uncle.

(LAUGHS) I can't take it.

Ah, she just uncled you.

You got took to uncle school.

(LAUGHING)

(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

? She called you uncle 'cause your jokes are lame

? And you're far from funny, it's a crying shame

? When you hear them crickets, you're the one to blame ?

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

? Ha ha ha how

? It is not the cool if you ask me

? You're acting like a glibnort, do you see?

? It's the 'u' to the 'n', the c-l-e

? Uncle jokes are bad for you and me

? You know them uncle jokes are just not funny

? Them uncle jokes are just not funny

? Them uncle jokes are just not funny

? Don't tell them uncle jokes no more ?

You heard that one he told yesterday. Oh, man!

That was horrible.

? Don't

? Don't tell them uncle jokes no more ?

Man, those uncle jokes are crunchy.

-Do you know what just happened there, Star?

-What?

We just became a comedy trio.

I thought nothing could be more perfect than a twosome, but I was wrong!

We are the three legs of an equilateral triangle.

We're tofu, lettuce, and tomato.

We are the three stomachs of a glorg

-that allow it to digest a zardic without chewing.

-(FARTS)

-Aw, yeah!

-That's what I'm talking 'bout.

Balance!

You okay?

Balance will be restored.

It has to be restored!

Dude, you should just chillax.

Boo-yah!

Yeah, bro. Have a sandwich.

Tofu rules.

I have never kissed a lone wolf leader before.

And I regret it.

Shut up, everybody.

I'm trying to read.

Uh, what's going on?

Robin can't function with the team's balance out of whack.

So his body is genetically mutating in order to restore it.

Or something like that.

Oh, and shut up, everybody.

I'm trying to read.

(BARKING)

Is that the crime alarm?

(IMITATING ALARM)

(IMITATING SIRENS)

(IMITATING FIRE TRUCK HORN)

(IMITATING CAR ALARM SET)

Oh no, the garden's under attack!

Titans go!

Man, just once I'd like to say, "Titan's go."

Come on, hurry up!

Can we pick up some pizza on the way?

No time for pizza!

We've got to focus on the mission!

This elevator is so crowded, might I stand a little closer?

Robin?

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

Aw, shucks, Starfire.

We're surrounded.

Cyborg, take out the left flank.

Yes, sir.

Starfire, provide covering fire.

Okay, handsome lone wolf leader.

Go! Go! Go!

Boo-yah!

Zap!

Bzzzap!

Azarath Metrion Zinthos!

Oh, man. He's attacking the garden gnomes.

He's completely lost it.

And all because he can't handle our comedy trio.

We have no choice.

We're gonna have to kick Starfire out of our comedy trio, and become whatever you'd call a duo of comedians.

A comedy duo.

Bingo.

Beast Boy, turn into some animals.

(BARKING)

(GIBBERING)

(ROARING)

Ha, ha.

Look at Robin, he's so cra-cra for the real-real.

Not for the play-play.

Shamma Lamma Mu-mu.

(GIGGLING)

Shamma Lamma Mu-mu?

(SOBBING)

Nice one, uncle!

Excuse me?

Yeah, nice one, uncle.

Are you uncle-ing me?

(SOBBING) Make an uncle joke and suffer the consequences, uncle.

-But...

-Don't you get it?

We all have our roles.

We're the good-natured slackers.

Not you.

I believe I get it.

But I will need the comforting from the lone wolf leader.

Did someone say, "lone wolf?"

Oh, please, give me the comforting, lone wolf.

(SHUSHING)

There, there.

You're home now, Star.

You're home.

So brutal, bro. So brutal.

We had to do it.

We had to let her go.

I know.

Hopefully it's enough to make Robin normal again.

Hey, Beast Boy, is your face hurting you?

'cause it's killing me!

Boom!

(CHUCKLING)

Boom indeed, Robin.

Boom indeed.