Teen Titans Go! S2E1 Script

Mr. Butt (2014)

Go

[OPENING THEME PLAYING]

T-E-E-N

T-I-T-A-N-S

Teen Titans, let's go

Teen Titans, go

The flowers, the flowers

Grow in the ground

Give them water

Or they will die

[LASER FIRING]

[GASPS]

Blackfire?

Hey, little sister.

[SIRENS WAILING]

Cover my flank.

Of course!

What are you doing here?

I came to see you, sweetie.

But you never visit.

I thought you did not like me.

Oh, honey! Where did you get that idea?

You never answer my calls.

Got a new number.

When I was five you stole my favorite dolly.

Just so I could have something that reminded me of you.

So you really came back here just for me?

There is no other reason?

I just had to see my baby sister.

Ooh! Then we can begin the closeness.

Okay, enough hugging.

[SNORING]

Wonderful friends, look who has paid us a surprise visit!

I love surprise visits!

Hey, everybody.

Except for that one.

Her. Ugh. Bah!

Yes, the Her herself.

Hi Robin, you miss me?

Uh, no. Because you are evil.

[TAPPING]

And I'm only attracted to niceness and sweetness, and innocent things, like a puppy with ears too big for his head.

[WHINING]

Star, can I talk to you a minute?

STAR: Oh!

Can you believe Blackfire has come to see me?

Is that not wonderful?

Every time you let her into your life she crushes you.

But I do not think this time...

No!

She is one of the most wanted criminals in the galaxy, Star.

Mmm-hmm. Girl, that girl is bad girl news, girl.

She's up to something.

And ugh... Blah!

Stop it!

All I have ever wished for is to have this sister relationship.

And Blackfire knows if she lets me down again it will break my heart.

And darkness will ooze from it, contaminating the river of my soul.

Then filled with the poison I will rain death and destruction upon all the creatures of the universe!

Starting with...

Hey, Sis. Let's dye your hair so we can be twinsies.

Ooh, I always wanted to be the twinsies.

Sister fun time!

[LAUGHING]

[SHRIEKING]

You look great, sweetie.

But it's really missing something.

What is it that is missing?

I know.

Oh, that's such a great color for you.

There is something of meaning I wish to relate to you.

I have dreamed of us...

Shh. Can it wait?

WOMAN: That's Blackfire, the one you're looking for.

Bye-bye, sweetie.

[SCREAMS] Blackfire!


Hey, Robin.

Anyone ever tell you you have a nice butt?

Save it, you shameless harpy.

I don't know why Star puts up with you.

Wait, where is she? What did you do to her?

Titans, dig up the yard!

Argh!

Oh, calm down, Mr. Butt.

She's fine. She's just in jail serving out my sentence.

This is why you showed up in the first place.

Unbelievable! She trusted you.

Dibs on Star's room!

She's got the best room, end of the day.

How could you do this to her?

Oh, cut me some slack, Mr. Butt.

No one ever taught me how to be a good sister.

Then get yourself a backpack and a spiral notebook.

And a number two pencil and a pen and a math book and a protractor and a scientific calculator, with a juice box and some healthy snacks, and an apple for your teacher.

'Cause we're gonna take you to school. [BELL RINGING]

Sister school yo.

Now listen so I can teach you how to listen.

Huh, whatever.

The keys to active listening are eye-contact, and hand-holding.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Go on, Beast Boy. I'm listening.

My problem is I'm just too sweet and funny.

And girls just take advantage.

I hear your pain.

You have to talk it out before you can walk it out.

Now you try.

Go on, Beast Boy.

I'm listening.

Sometimes I think I'll never find love.

[CRYING]

Shut up and be a man!

[GASPING] My...

[BAWLING]

[THUDDING]

You have broken my heart, Sister.

And now I will break you.

[HUFFING]

Okay, lesson two.

Hugging.

Oh. ROBIN: Terrible effort.

Ahhh! Again!

No, no, no. I'll show you myself.

Arms out wide, come in tight but not too tight.

Pats on the back, optional.

Yes, that's much, much better.

Oh, this feels good.

No, no, no. Wrong kind of hug.

[BONES CRUNCHING] Separate!

[BUZZING]

[BUZZING]

Oh! Greetings friend.

What are you doing?

"Oh, sister, I'm here to tell you

"how you have made me feel all these gamma years."

[LAUGHING] You look ridiculous.

You look ridiculous!

Stick to the script.

What Starfire meant to say is do not be the glorpner, friend.

Glorpner? That's not even a word, genius.

Don't you make me come over there!

I told you this wouldn't work.

[WHISPERING] Stay in character.

What the Starfires are trying to say is...

[CLEARS THROAT]

"When you were in the trouble who did you turn to?

"Oh, sister, when you were..."

I'm gonna stop you right there.

Your butt looks fantastic in that skirt.

Argh!

I have no idea how Starfire could still love you after all you put her through.

She loves me?

Probably the only person in the universe who does.

Wait.

I wanna be a better sister.

[HUFFING]

Sister fun time.

[ALARM RINGING]

Looks good.

I'm so glad you like it.

Uh, you think you could give me a make-over?

I hate my look.

I hear somebody who's not happy with himself.

But who should be, because he is great.

Aww. Thanks!

So Robin...

Please, call me Mr. Butt, you've earned it.

I wish you were my sister, sister.

Starfire's gonna be so proud of you.

[CRASHING]

Hey, she's back.

Star?

Mr. Butt, are you okay?

[PANTING] I'm here for the Her!

Blackfire, remember the lessons!

Starfire, sweetie...

You have never done anything for me, except use me and trick me and get me into trouble!

I hear you and I'm sorry!

It's too late for the sorry!

[GLASS SHATTERING]

Ahhh!

[SCREAMING CONTINUES]

[LOUD RUMBLING]

You look like you could use a hug.

Ahhh!

This would look great on you.

I am not falling for the act again!

Wait, I've got something to show you.

The dolly you stole from me as a child?

Blackfire, where did you get it?

I've had it the whole time.

I shouldn't have taken it.

And I shouldn't have kept it.

Starfire, I'm sorry.

You really have changed.

Yes. I have.

Well, [WHISPERING] so have I.

[EXPLOSION]

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

So what happened?

[GASPS]

We worked things out.

[CLOSING THEME PLAYING]