Teen Titans Go! S2E14 Script

Sandwich Thief (2014)

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[OPENING THEME PLAYING]

T-E-E-N

T-I-T-A-N-S

Teen Titans, let's go

Teen Titans, go T-E-E-N-T-I-T-A-N-S.

3-5-10-6-0.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Code accepted.

Retinal scan.

Retina accepted.

Enter rhythm code.

[MUSICAL RHYTHM PLAYING]

[DIFFERENT MUSICAL NOTES PLAYING]

AUTOMATED VOICE: Perfect.

Welcome, Robin.

[YELLS] No!

[RATTLING] [VIDEO GAME NOISES]

[ALL COUGHING]

Alright, where is it?

Which one of you took it?

Tell me now. [COUGHING]

Dude, what are you talking about?

Where is my sandwich? Uh.

I do not know.

And I do not care.

Yeah, bro. I know you're serious about your legendary sandwiches, but come on!

It wasn't just legendary, it was perfect.

For years, I've worked to improve my sandwich making skills.

I traveled the world to learn masters of sandwich construction.

[ASIAN MUSIC PLAYING]

[SNIFFS] Ah!

[SWISHING]

[CHUCKLES]

ROBIN: But I wasn't satisfied.

Every bite I took was haunted by the knowledge that I could do better.

Until one night, it came to me.

The perfect sandwich.

After three days of work in the lab, I had it.

Perfection on two slices of bread, which were also perfect.

All that was left was to crisp it in the refrigerator.

However, when I returned, it was gone.

Well, that's the longest story about making a sandwich I ever had to sit through.

Nobody's leaving this room until I get to the bottom of this.

Uh, bye. We're out.

Do not worry, Robin.

I am sure you will find your missing lunch meal.

Oh, I will.

[RATTLING]

[GASPS]

What?

Hey, are you hacking into my data logs?

This is an invasion of privacy. [MODEM NOISES]

Sounds like you have something to hide.

Now, let's see where you really were when my sandwich was stolen.

[COMPUTER SOUNDS]

[CYBORG CHUCKLES]

Ooh-hoo!

[GASPS] Mm. Mm!

Are these padded?

My butt looks so good in these tights.

Looks like you have an alibi.

Do we need to talk?

STARFIRE: Hello.

Robin, is that you?

ROBIN: Yes.

You are hooked up to my patent pending lie detector machine.

So I'll know if you're lying.

Now, did you steal my sandwich?

I did not. I was doing the handstands.

And before that I had the toasts from France for breakfast.

And before that I was asleep and before that I read the book.

And before that I brushed each of my tooths.

[DINGING]

Yeah, okay, okay. I've heard enough.

One last question.

Do you love me?

Yes.

Did you just lie to me?

Yes.

I did not wish to hurt the feelings.

[SIGHS] I see.

Could you learn to love me?

No. Very well.

Is there any circumstance where... No.

Thank you for your time. [RATTLING]

Are you sure?

Do not eat that taco.

You'll contaminate a possible crime scene.

Crime scene? What are you talking about, dude?

Inside you're tummy.

I didn't eat your sandwich, dude.

I'm a vegetarian.

Or are you?

Raven, transport me into Beast Boy's stomach.

Okay. [GROANING]

[SCREAMING]

Aw, maybe I should have shrunk him first.

[BURPING] [SPUTTERING]

[GASPING]

No sign of the sandwich in there.

Dude, come on!

Going inside Beast Boy, injecting Starfire, hacking my very sensitive files.

I don't even know what you did to Raven.

He asked, I said no. Really, that's all?

You must release yourself of this sandwich obsession, Robin.

Let it go, dude.

No way! Never letting things go is what makes me a good crime fighter.

Oh, come on, man.

You gotta let some things go.

Like what are you going to do when Starfire marries some dude?

Plans have been made. Now, let's see.

[VOCALIZES] The thief was smart, agile, well-trained.

So that eliminates all of you.

I got it! [CHUCKLES]

It's so obvious.

There's only one person that could have gotten past my defenses.

Me! [DINGS]

You ate of the sandwich?

Not me now, future me.

It's so clear.

I never got over the taste of that perfect sandwich.

I was so haunted by it that I traveled back in time to eat it again before I ever ate it in the first place.

Robin has left the tower.

Seriously, man, let it go.

Never! To the time machine!

BEAST BOY: Where'd you get a time machine?

[COMPUTER SCANNING NOISES]

ROBIN: There I am.

Let's get me.

You guys coming? Nah, we're just gonna hang here.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Honey, I'm home.

[CHUCKLES] I'm just kidding. I live alone.

[GRUNTS]

Where is it?

Whoa, young me.

How's it going? Don't play dumb.

Just remember. Anything I do to my body now affects yours in the future.

Now talk.

Huh?

Okay, then we'll do it the hard way.

Aw! Ugh! [GRUNTS]

You feel that, future self?

Uh, I guess I remember it hurting.

Oh yeah? How about this?

[GROANING]

How about that?

Oh, yeah. [CHUCKLES] That totally stung.

Robin, stop!

You are injuring yourself over the sandwich.

Oh, the perfect sandwich.

[CHUCKLES] That's what this is all about.

Yeah, I was super bummed when that vanished.

But you learn to let things go.

Now, I know you're lying.

I would never let anything go.

Besides, I don't need your confession.

You're me and I know me.

There's only one place I'd put it.

The sandwich is in your refrigerator.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. Let's not go crazy here.

See, no sandwich.

Just sadness.

No! That's impossible.

So long, weirdo.

Ah! It is nice to have visitors.

[CROAKS]

Man, I'm bored.

Argh, I know.

Oh, lets prank call our future selves.

Yeah.

[DIALING] [RINGING]

Hello, is this Cyborg? [INDISTINCT MUMBLING]

I was wondering if your refrigerator is running.

Then you better catch it. Booyah!

[BOTH LAUGHING]

My turn, my turn, my turn!

[DIALING] [RINGING]

[CLEARS THROAT] Hi.

[CHUCKLES] Is Beast Boy there?

[INDISTINCT MUMBLING] He did?

How?

Really?

Well, um, I'm sorry to hear that.

[WHIMPERS]

Dude, are you okay?

[WHINES]

[MEEKLY] That was a bad idea.

We still on the sandwich thing?

Yeah. I got it!

Old me did steal the sandwich, but then the sandwich...

Grew legs and walked away?

Legs? No, stay with me, Cyborg that's ridiculous.

It floated away.

Of course it did, Robin.

[WHISPERS] We should call the doctor.

To the teleporter.

We don't have a teleporter.

Oh, where are we now?

I made that sandwich, uh, a little too perfect.

So perfect that when old me didn't eat it immediately, it evolved into a super-intelligence and traveled into space to learn about the nature of the universe.

Robin, perhaps it is time to simply let it go.

[CHUCKLES] Let it go.

Never!

ROBIN: Sandwich, where are you?

I am sorry your sandwich went missing, but it's definitely not here on some alien planet...

[PLANET RUMBLING]

Welcome, travelers.

It is I, the perfect sandwich.

After Future Robin stole me, I escaped from his one-bedroom apartment and came here to ponder the universe.

Huh, I told you.

And through meditation, I have realized life's greatest secret.

Oh, tell us please.

That the sandwich is the supreme form of life and all others must be destroyed.

Goodbye.

[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]

Titans, go!

[YELPING]

[CRUNCHING]

Oh! [GROANS]

Ahhh! Ahhh!

[SCREAMS]

Ahhh!

[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]

Nothing can destroy the perfect sandwich.

Nothing except the mouth of its creator.

What are you waiting for? For you to say it.

Say what?

That I was right. You should never let things go.

Fine, in some situations... Nope, never.

You were right, Robin, and you should never let the things go.

Thank you.

[CHOMPS]

[YELLS]

[GOBBLING]

Perfect.

[CLOSING THEME PLAYING]