Teen Titans Go! S2E23 Script

Thanksgiving (2014)

Go

[OPENING THEME PLAYING]

T-E-E-N

T-I-T-A-N-S

Teen Titans, let's go

Teen Titans, go

[BELL DINGS]

[KISSES] Perfection. Thanksgiving style.

Whoa! Thanksgiving!

The best holiday after Christmas, Halloween, Valentine's, New Year's and my birthday. Oh, yeah!

Sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top.

Classy. [SLURPS]

Ooh, I cannot wait!

Dig in!

[GROANS]

Ahhh! [SCREAMS]

Huh?

There will be no digging until I say so.

No one can eat until a very special guest arrives.

Batman!

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

He trained me to be a master fighter, detective, and host of medium-size holiday gatherings.

That's why everything needs to be perfect when he arrives.

The decor, the place settings, the seating arrangement, and most importantly, the food.

[BUBBLING]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait! What is that?

My first attempt at the Thanksgiving dish of sides, Robin.

It is the Burp-Glorp.

Some say that its struggles in one's throat adds to its deliciousness. [MUTTERING]

Sounds tasty. But, no. [GASPS]

[SHRIEKS]

I know Bat visits stress you out, but just relax.

Think about what you're thankful for.

[EXCLAIMS]

[ELEVATOR DINGS] Ooh! He's here!

Hello, hello.

Happy Thanksgiving, puny mortals.

Trigon.

You are not welcome here, you evil demon!

You're not on the seating chart.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, I won't be a bother.

I'm not here as a demon. I'm here as a dad.

I wanted to make sure my little lump has a perfect Turkey Day.

Ugh!

So nice to see you, Dad.

Can't wait to see how you ruin this holiday.

I promise I will not devour any souls this year.

Only that succulent bird.

My goodness! Cooked to perfection.

Yes, it is.

Hmm, I guess we can make room.

I, uh, actually invited some extra guests too.

What? I had to, dude.

It's a homeless family.

Aw. Well, then of course we can make room.

Where are they? Right there.

[SQUEAKING]

Ahhh!

You said it was a homeless family.

Those are filthy rats!

Yeah. A homeless family of filthy rats.

They're destroying my perfect turkey.

[BELCHES]

[GRUNTING]

[SQUEAKING]

Thanks a lot, homeless rats.

Thanksgiving is ruined.

I can help out with a new turkey.

All I need is for the biggest, strongest, meatiest Titan to join me in the kitchen.

Oh, oh, that's me! I'm strong, and you want to talk meaty?

Give this a little pinch.

Mmm. [SQUISHING]

You will do nicely.

So, how are we going to cook this bird?

Deep fry? Smoke it? I'm a grilling man myself.

Got built-in tongs.

[CLINKING]

I have a secret family recipe.

I want to know the secret.

Well, if you promise not to tell.

I turn you into a turkey and cook you, and we eat you.

That's it.

[SMACKING LIPS]

[GULPS]

Come on, come on, where is he? Gravy's almost ready.

He should be here soon.

[GASPS] Whoa!

What, more rats? Yeah.

They loved your cooking so much, they invited their entire extended family, who are also homeless and filthy.

[SQUEAKING]

There's not enough food or seats.

They need to leave, right now.

Aw, they won't eat much.

Just enough to fill their little disgusting rat bellies.

[GROOVY MUSIC PLAYING]

[SLOSHING]

[GRUMBLES] They can stay. But no more rats.

And don't let them gnaw on the decorations.

I spent a lot of time on them.

[YELLING]

[CROWD CHEERING] Behold!

The Thanksgiving rite of the foot and the ball!

Scoredown! Ahhh! [GRUNTS]

CHEERLEADERS: ♪ Be aggressive!

B-E aggressive! ♪ [LAUGHING]

[COUGHING] Starfire, what are you doing?

I am contributing a traditional Thanksgiving game.

[GRUNTING] Punt-off!

[ROBIN GRUNTS]

[CRASHES]

[YELLING]

Dad, what are you doing?

Ah, honey, you're here! [GOBBLES]

Be a dear and help me chop off your friend's skinny bird head, okay?

[GOBBLING]

[GROANS] This always happens.

You show up acting all nice, but then you commit some unspeakable evil.

Aw, I just wanted my daughter's Turkey Day to actually have a turkey.

Oh, so that makes it okay to eat one of my friends?

I chose the one you like least.

I like Robin the least. We can eat him, too.

[SNARLS]

[GROWLING]

[SQUAWKING]

Dad!

ROBIN: Any minute now. [BEEPS]

Decorations in place, food... Whoa!

What?

[GROOVY MUSIC PLAYING]

Beast Boy!

I told you not to invite more rats.

I didn't, dude. Then why are there more rats?

[RATS SQUEAKING]

Miracle of life, bro.

Mama rats plus papa rats make baby rats.

Batman is going to be here at any moment.

What is he going to think?

Don't you know he likes bats, not rats!

Bats, not rats!

Bats! Not rats. [BUZZING]

[GOBBLING]

[CRASHING]

[SCREAMING]

[GOBBLING]

[GULPS] TRIGON: [LAUGHING] Slippery rascal.

I've got him, I've got him, I've got him now.

Get away from my friend.

[SQUAWKING]

Thanksgiving needs a turkey.

[GRUNTS]

[SAD MUSIC PLAYING] [SIGHS] Fine.

Just eat Cyborg.

You never listen to me anyway.

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[SAD MUSIC PLAYING]

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

All I wanted was for today to be perfect.

Perfect for who, Dad?

Well, if your "perfect" Thanksgiving doesn't include eating one of your friends, then so be it.

Thanks, Dad.

Now, change Cyborg back and let's go get ready for dinner.

Oh, uh... I can't.

He's stuck as a turkey until at least Christmas.

Magic. [CHUCKLES] Pretty crazy, huh?

The decorations are up, the table is set.

Perfect! [GLASS SHATTERS]

But, Robin, where will you sit?

[GROANS] I forgot a seat for me!

Don't worry, brah, we saved you one at the kids' table.

The kids' table? Not the kids' table.

I got to sit here every year. Rickety table legs that don't even match my...

[GRUMBLING] Oh!

Let us commence the feast.

No! I said nobody eats until Batman arrives.

Where is he going to sit?

He's Batman! He sits where he likes!

Now, while we wait, everybody just...

Just say what you're thankful for.

I'll start.

I'm thankful that I was able to put together a perfect Thanksgiving.

Even though some people tried to ruin it.

[GROANS]

Oh, yeah? Well, I'm thankful for my cool new rat friends who understand the point of a holiday actually...

[COUGHS] Robin.

I'm thankful my dad turned my friend into a turkey.

I'm thankful to be here with my daughter, even if she doesn't appreciate my gifts to her.

[GOBBLING]

Well said, my juicy, meaty, delicious friend.

[SLURPING]

I can't help myself.

I need to eat that robot turkey! [SQUAWKS]

[DISHES CLATTERING]

Food fight!

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMING] Scoredown!

Take that!

You're all off the seating chart!

[LAUGHING]

[GRUNTS]

[GASPING]

[GOBBLES]

[SCREAMING]

[GROANS]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR] Yeah?

I guess I ruined Thanksgiving for everyone.

Yes, you did.

But everyone's terrible actions have helped me understand the true meaning of this celebration.

And that is why I am thankful that you are our leader, Robin, and my friend.

[LAUGHS]

I'm thankful you always make me feel better about myself.

Want to help me clean up my mess?

What? How?

It is the Christmas miracle of the Thanksgiving.

Who did this?

It was the rats.

[SQUEAKING]

They say that usually they don't have a place to go or food, or even a chance to see their family.

[SQUEAKING]

Tonight, though, they had all that and more.

[SQUEAKING]

They think this was the best Thanksgiving ever.

And to say thanks, they wanted to give something back.

A Thanksgiving feast.

[ALL GASP]

Amazing! But what about the turkey?

Oh, Dad and I took care of that.

[GULPS]

[AX SWISHING] [SQUAWKS]

[CLOSING THEME PLAYING]